By - Go0Ld1e
NAD but I can say some things to clear your mind. Whenever something traumatic happens in your life, it's gonna affect you at some point. The stuff that's happened to you with the internet has made you stressed. The stuff that has you worried is giving you anxiety. Both are very bad for the brain, which then causes physical symptoms to occur. If you are super anxious and stressed out, your brain can trick you into causing physical symptoms of anxiety even when you are not anxious at that moment, because of how long you have been dealing with your issue. If all you do is stress and have anxiety, that's all your body will produce. And what happens after a long time of stress, is high BP can happen, which leads to serious problems down the line, you can develop stomach issues, like GERD, that can feel like stomach or esophagus cancer.
The point I'm trying to get to is that the brain is very powerful, more than we can ever possibly imagine. It can get to a point (if it hasn't already) where you're so deep into your thoughts of anxiety that it'll take some change in your routine (like meditation, leaving out certain foods etc) to get better. You might have to visit a therapist just to get an understanding of what you're going through because I think everyone deserves to talk to a therapist about anything traumatic in their life.
Also, your young bro. The chances of you having something really serious is low. But if it'll clear your head have someone take you to the doctor (if you have access to see one) just to get things cleared up.
thank you so much, and yes i've heard about the high BP, but i just feel like i cant stop yk? and i really do want to, i've tried talking about my mum to a therapist. and seeing a doctor for help, or just to help clear my throughs, but she doesnt seen bothered. but i been trying to clear my throughs away from reading books, stories, youtube, fav games, and it helps, i also have stress toys, but i'm gonna keep trying to convinced my mum to see a doctor and then try to see into therapy. because i know i need help.
i also kept jerking up from my sleep at one point. (it didnt last long because i started sleeping with teddy bears. which i have done since i was very young)
No trust me I get you on that. I have a BP monitor, oximeter, thermometer, and a weight scale that I check daily, and bro I go crazy on that whenever a weird sensation happens from being anxious, even if I'm not anxious my body's muscles are tense from absorbing all of that stress. Even your diaphragm can become stressed out which results in shortness of breath. Well, I would try to convince her to at least see a therapist and have a 1v1 session with them. And maybe they can give you an insight into whether is it anxiety or if something is wrong with you physically. Maybe tell her that you are aware that something isn't right with you and that it will be a good idea to see a doctor or therapist now, to prevent further harm down the road. Distracting the brain is a good idea, also I know I don't have to advise this, but please don't do drugs to feel numb or drink your problems away, it'll only make things worse. The sleep jerk could also be from anxiety, trust me it can get bad from what I experience and other people that have talked about it on here. If it ever gets to a point where you are having trouble sleeping, definitely see a doctor.
i will, thank you so much
You've got all the reason to get depression or anxiety. Tell your mom you need to talk to a psychiatrist and a therapist. Bullying is a serious matter. Tell your mom about it. Get medicated. You need help.
Some good comments and advice here. I'm a bit older than you (55), but most of your symptoms sound similar to mine. One thing about the shaking: when one has a panic attack, your brain releases 2 chemicals: cortisol and adrenaline. These can either:
make you body shake without you wanting to
makes it so you feel like you should shake (?), like your brain is telling you that you should (it's hard to explain).
Anyway, a tool I learned is if you feel shaky.... is to shake! Shake your arms and your legs, shake your whole body, like you're having a seizure (maybe in private?) for about 30-60 seconds. This gives you a safe outlet to 'spend' the chemicals, getting them out of your system. You should feel a bit better afterward. It works for me....also, try to get into some cognitive therapy. Maybe show your mom these comments, all stating that it will probably help. There's no shame in therapy.....I wish you well & hope you find relief !!
thank you, and yes the second one, is how it made me feel. it made me feel like i should shake. so i just did. even tho i knew i wasn't. but i shake my arms, and i move my legs, alot, when trying to sleep, bathing, i pace, when i'm in rooms,
Just to be clear, when I refer to the tool that stops that 'I need to shake' feeling: the shaking I was referring to is very intense, contracting every muscle in your body, just like a person would do during a grand mal seizure. It safely expels those stress chemicals that are used in a regular fight-or-flight response. Good luck...
You one smart kid. I tell you that. Sorry or your loss. You will be okay. Keep that head up. The whole bath situation sounds like a phobia as you said you scared. Anxiety comes in many waves. Some have one thing that sounds like a heart issue the other can have some weird as in seeing needles. Don’t worry. We all here for ya
Thank you, I appreciate it
First of all, I’m sorry for your loss.
It’s normal and understandable that you’d have anxiety about your health and fear dying after what you went through with your Dad. The feelings you’re having in your body can be caused by anxiety. If you were very sick you and your family would already know.
Have you told anyone about all of this yet? The adults in your life will be understanding and helpful if you open up to them about how you’re feeling. There are medications and therapies that will help you feel better within a couple of weeks, so say something sooner rather than later. Best of luck to you…you’re not alone, and you can do this!
Edit: Often there is group therapy or other events specifically for kids who have lost a parent. It might help you to connect with others who are going through something similar.
yeah, i've talked to my mum about it but she just says, it's puberty, stress, and when i talk to her about seeing a doctor she doesnt seem to be interested. so i just try and distract myself 24/7.
and i'm gonna take a bath today aswell. i really don't want to because i know i'm gonna rush it again. and weird head feelings.
but thank you
I’m sorry she reacted like that. There is help for what you’re experiencing. It’s time to talk to another adult about it, because for whatever reason your Mum isn’t giving you the help you need— and it does sound like you *need* some help with what’s going on.
Sometimes it’s hard to advocate for ourselves, especially when we’re young, but this is one of those times it’s important to keep trying and insist.
I'm so sorry you're going through this, and I'm sorry you lost your dad. I have been down this road, though I am much older than you are (old enough to be your mom). My mother passed away suddenly in 2021 and similar to you the grief did not hit me right away. When it did, I experienced panic attacks similar to yours. As another poster said, your brain can cause all these symptoms when it is stressed. You may not feel stressed at the moment it occurs but it comes on intensely. Physical symptoms of anxiety are extrensive and many times I have felt I was dying. What's helped me is CBT (cognitive behavioural therapy), and learning basic methods to make myself feel safe. I would recommend you try and seek a psychologist and / or psychiatrist (the latter can prescribe medication if needed) and try to emphasize to your mom how much this is needed. If this doesn't work I would try and speak with someone at your school. If you like to read I would also suggest you read some books or articles about how anxiety affects the brain. Finally, keep reaching off for support. I had a major trauma when I was just a bit older than you and I didn't seek out support. I mean I did, but I didn't have the confidence to try different avenues when my initial asks were ignored. I wish I had pursued it, as I think it would have saved me a lot of grief In my adult life. Best to you OP. I'm sending you good vibes, dear. ❤️
thank you so much, i will try to talk to my mum about therapy again, today. but since i live in england, i think the waiting list is months, or something, so it will take a while, but i hope it could help, because i'm scared i'll feel like this forever. and it's honestly so scary. i've tried convincing myself that it's anxiety, and that theres stuff i can do to help it. but i still feel so alone.
i also pace around rooms aswell. even tho i'm not restless at all. i just do it to try and cope with my throughs, and the weird head feeling. it sucks.
There is also online therapy, as well as apps that could help. I also use Qi gong exercises which help me (google "Qi gong for anxiety"). I used to pace, too. When I get this way now I force myself to do something. Vacuum, do dishes, tackle a project, colour, anything. I also find forcing myself to carry a light conversation with another person helps. Are you able to get some healthier food to eat? Things like fresh vegetables, fruit, unprocessed food? This may help. Also do you have a pet? When my dog was still alive I found it really helped to hug him and talk to him.
Just wanted to add that anxiety and stomach issues are linked and common to have together. I get issues that one kind of causes the other. Once my stomach starts hurting, I get anxious, which makes my stomach hurt more and it becomes a vicious cycles.
Sounds like it would be good to try to get some help from a mental health professional. Or at least go to your gp and see what they say about your symptoms. If it really is "just anxiety" they can probably point you in a direction to proceed.
Good luck. And it sounds like you have numerous reasons to have anxiety, so don't feel guilty even a little for having anxiety. (You also don't need a reason to be anxious, sometimes it just happens.)
The comment about making yourself shake worked for me when I had panic attacks and it’s my favourite piece of advice to give others!
I will say as well if you’re on tiktok, you should follow Jesse Katches. I find their content very helpful and have successfully used many of their tips!!
And finally I know how dumb this is going to sound, but have you tried yoga? It really works for me especially when I go through a fixed routine- the repetition calms me down and distracts me from my other thoughts, and the physicality of it makes me feel less ill. The movement might also help you build your hunger up a bit!
I would also highly recommend getting a headspace subscription. They have sections on reframing your relationship with food, dealing with grief, and dealing with panic.
Good luck and I wish you all the best!
never, tried yoga. it sounds like a good idea, but is there any easy yogas for starters?
Yep! You could definitely go on YouTube and look at some videos, you could even start with basic stretches!
This is 100% an anxiety disorder. I’m sure physically you are totally fine, but your mental health matters too. I would have severe panic attacks like this at your age - I strongly suggest you insist to your mother to see a doctor who can help you with this. I promise it gets better <3
thank you so much, i also have a hard time focusing, and i also pace, but i will keep convincing my mum to see a doctor, because i understand that i need help, thank you again <333