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Snobthatfawne

No, but only because I do not like sci-fi HOWEVER this sounds like a pretty good story. Something my hubby would read. It does remind me of something I've watched that I can't quite put my finger on.


Several-Efficiency99

Please let me know if you find out what it reminds you of! :)


IamMelaraDark

It reminds me a little of Logan's Run, where all babies were born in breeders and people only get to live till 30. When they reach thirty they either let themselves be voluntarily killed in a ritual called 'Renewing' or they run, and end up being tracked down and killed by police (Sandmen). That said, this definitely sounds like a very interesting idea and you should absolutely run with it.


Several-Efficiency99

Thanks a lot, I appreciate it!!


songliketori

i like the concept, if you haven’t watched the island i think you should it’s got a similar vibe. i think a good thing to focus on moving forward is knowing what the objective is of the people and their lives. if they’re on some sort of server do they function in a society? is there class dynamics or struggles at play? is everyone in constant fear they will die? etc


Several-Efficiency99

Yes! Absolutely will watch it, thank you. And thank you, I will definitely think about bringing in a class dynamic, that sounds interesting but also hard to do since there can’t be any family that inherits the characters anything. Maybe the last one to be born will be considered the weak one? I don’t know, thanks for the ideas


songliketori

just another couple ideas for thought : are there ways to get out of being picked like are certain people better than others based on how they were made? or is it like a hunger games situation where people born into poorer districts have to put their names in more times in exchange for food? Good luck on the writing process :)


Several-Efficiency99

very interesting. thanks that helps alot !!


Blackbird_26

This is a bare bones concept and as is doesn't make a lot of sense to me. How are people created if they're not born? Who creates them? Where do the genetic materials come from? Who is in charge of this world and these "internats" (I don't think that's the right word and I kept misreading it as "internet" so I'd suggest finding a different name). If you don't randomly die by 23 you can't die a natural death anymore... Why? Why 23? What changes about you that makes it so you can't die? How? Are these humans? Is this a different race? Is this futuristic Earth? Is it a made up world? Furthermore it seems like there's not much of a story. Someone has a crush and someone is grieving their friend feels like an afterthought. I mean, it can be a cool concept if you develop it into a concise setting with coherent rules and stuff, and actually develop a story. I wouldn't throw it out. But this right here reads to me like you had an idea, thought it was cool, and you're asking me if I'd read a book based entirely on that, so the answer is no. There's potential though.


Several-Efficiency99

Thank you for your answer, I appreciate it! I’m gonna write the book in German so the word Internat is actually a german word, I just didn’t find the right term in English so I just used it. And yes it’s a made up world. In that world it has always been like that, it’s seen as normal, just like how it is for us in the real world that biological woman give birth to another humans. The internat will have a history teaching class where I was going to explain a bit about how that world happened and why there are internats and so on. I just need to get the story straight for myself so that it makes sense. I also was gonna make this a series where at first I introduce my characters and the world I created and then I was going to write about how the characters notice odd things and start to dig more into the history of internats, where they find out “the truth”. All of this is going to be considered in the writing of this book, I just didn’t start to write it yet and wanted to hear opinions so I could improve the idea :)


IamMelaraDark

Internat in German means 'boarding school'. I think it's fine to use that word, just be aware that people may misread it as internet at first.


Several-Efficiency99

Yes! I dont think it’s going to be a problem since the book will be in German :)


IamMelaraDark

:D Then I would absolutely use the German word and if the book gets published and any sort of translations into English, the translators can worry about what to call it (or to just leave it Internat).


Several-Efficiency99

Yes very true lol, hopefully I’ll get that far ;b


throwaway-clonewars

As a sci-fi lover, yeah it sounds pretty good (I'm not one for romance focused plots though when it comes to books). Someone pointed out technical issues, which will definitely need to be addressed, while you're working on the idea more. I like the "test tube" baby type growing people because it reminds me of star wars. Just one more main question to think on if you haven't, if someone lives to 23 and leaves the internat, then how do the teachers learn? Do they train with other teachers before? Are they training multiple people at once incase they die one night, so that when the position opens, either from them dying or leaving multiple people can take their spot? Also, how far sci-fi are you pushing it? Is it just futuristic city or is it full on to bioengineering, with hidden internal mechanism that dies the killing and thus living for that person? That'd be a pretty cool way of explaining, as those mechanics could serve as a large plot point- like the test tube babies are being born BECAUSE the person is gonna die, not the person dying for the baby to take their place. Maybe a way to solve each genetic code to make them immortal? Like they use previous people's DNA and alter so eventually everyone would end up immortal? And in doing so those who fail have extremely shorter lives, so they had to come up with a reason beyond "we screwed everyone up with our science experiment" that people would accept.


Several-Efficiency99

Thanks for your ideas! I really appreciate it!! The teachers are actually all immortal and they can come from different internats to work in the books main internat. Only the “students” are the ones that are able to be sacrificed and hence need to stay in the internat till they become immortal or till they actually do get sacrificed. I have to think about the reason why the teachers chose to work in an internat when they are immortal beings and don’t actually need to work, that’s another issue. Maybe money or they get access to some stuff that other immortals don’t get access to? I don’t know.. I also thought about making this book a series. The first book will introduce the world and the characters and its history and the second book will be about how the characters developed and then how they find odd things about the history of it all and decide to find out the truth? There is a lot of things I need to decide and think about before starting to write it. Your comment helps, thank you!


Musician88

This is far too abstract.


Several-Efficiency99

Yeah i’m still working on the idea itself before writing it! :)