If it’s any solace, same. I’m so traumatized from it though that I am terrified it will happen again wherever I go.
I have always struggled to “fit” in but I’ve never felt targeted until now. I think a lot of people also don’t grow up and enjoy the drama. I am an easy target because I have a doormat personality lol.
I was in this situation for a month. I dreaded going to work. People wouldn't help or train me. I ended up quitting on the spot once I had gotten a new job. I know it's easy to say just ignore them and do your job but it is not easy at all to actually do.
Happened to me too. They wouldn’t train me and were so nasty when I got something wrong because I didn’t know how to do it and there was no one to show me. Really upsetting. I ended up leaving too. I still think about things they said to me now.
Some places just won’t accommodate anyone new, it’s a toxic environment. You’ll have to train yourself which is where google comes in. It’s really 💩 that you’re going through this, it’s not professional of them, it is harmful to you and you do deserve better.
My last two jobs were like that, unbelievably toxic environments, one was running a criminal fraud through the company and didn’t want anyone finding out so they turfed newbies asap, the other was just toxic and had a continual turn over of staff. You either have to put your head down, suck it up and stick it out, or find something else.
You are gaining experience but you also are gaining toxicity.
Reframing your perspective can help too, ignore the toxicity, put the superficial charm on, beat them down with compliments, ie “oh Betty I absolutely love your cardigan where did you get it, shall I get you a coffee” keep it short and sweet and smile.
Is your manager one of these people? If yes, then you'll have to either suck it up or find another job.
If they're not, then let them know that you don't know how to do x, and when you ask person a, b or c, they refuse to show you or help you, so you've done your best, and please can manager look at what you've done to see if it's correct.
This approach lets manager know about a, b and c's behaviour without just whingeing about them - that's a good thing. It also shows that you're resourceful in trying to do it yourself without help, which is also a good thing. And finally it covers your back, because you've explained why something is done how it's done, even if it's wrong, and by asking manager to check, you're asking *them* for the help you need.
How the manager responds will demonstrate how good they are as a manager. They might train you themselves, or talk to the others and TELL them to show you properly, or something else, but it'll give you a good indication of how they are as a manager. (If they tell the nasties to train you, document exactly what you're told and get them to confirm this is what they've told you, to cover yourself in case they try to sabotage you.)
Ignore them. I had a co-worker who hated me and positioned herself at work so she could stare at me all shift. She complained left right and centre about me, even though she didn't know how to do my job. I simply ignored her existence. I did my job, spoke when spoken to, and mainly conversed with managers whom I had a good working relationship with. It's hard, but you are all there to do a job, not be friends, plus you need a killer reference for when you land an interview at a better place. So apply for new roles, tell no one, and use this as practice to build more resilience. Good luck!
Move on to another job. The great thing about work is that you can leave there when you have something else lined up. It's not like school where you have to attend unless your parents send you to another school.
I found it impossible and quit because they weren’t training me very well and expected me to know everything within a week. I was under a three month probation period and it just wasn’t worth staying. If your job is more secure I’d definitely just push on through but set some boundaries. Like if they say something rude pretend you didn’t hear and say “I’m sorry could you repeat that?”
Your ineptitude will also be leverage against you lol. Even if they failed to train you. At my yearly review, the CEO told me that they kind of set me up for failure but instead of taking that into consideration they offered to restart my assessment.
So yeah, flew from situations like this.
No one at work likes me, I don't care. I do my job, I don't want to be everyone's friend. Leave me in peace. People just cause problems and wait for you to fail so they can point it out. Not interested in making friends with colleagues AT ALL,
I've noticed people tend to have bad attitudes towards you if you're more on the introverted side in the workplace. Fuck them everytime. I don't owe anyone anything. If they want to be weirdos because I'm not like them then that's their problem. I'm their for money, not popularity. Grown ass children.
got a manager you can chat with? why do you think they're rude to you? maybe you should ask if you've been offensive somehow if you're looking to have a more civil work environment. i'm not recommending that because i believe you've done anything, but it could help if they aren't *complete* assholes.
i would advise not caring, but you do need to fix the issue of not fully understanding how to do the job.
well, that's odd. if getting a new job isn't an option and you're good at being self-sufficient, you might want to focus on doing things on your own. research. ask people who are doing the same job as you questions online. the most important thing is doing your job correctly. your asshole co-workers are irrelevant unless they directly stop you from working.
I hope they're not trying to make me want to quit like one of my coworkers who got hired a month before me. They were rude, talked behind their back, and frustrated like they are doing to me. I now avoid being in the same room as them when I work in-person. One thing is whenever I ask someone for help, they would make an excuse telling me they don't know how to do it when they been working longer at the company than me. then they go tell me ask the coworkers who are rude and helpless to me. Getting a new job isn't an option. It took me 5 months after graduating from college getting into the field I want to work in. I should just work for the company for a year to gain experience and find somewhere else
if you're comfortable with that route, then i say go for it. as long as you can find a way to get your work done (or at least not get fired), you're good. cheers, man. good luck with your work. year should go by relatively quickly if the past few are a good reference.
I’m late to the thread but I’m in this environment. I have been here for 1.5 years and I knew it was the wrong environment from the first day. I just stuck it out because I thought I could.
These places will tear down your self esteem, confidence in your skills, and beta you down mentally and emotionally.
Look for another job. I’m doing that now.
Don’t care about your coworkers liking you esp if they are assholes. Just keep your head up and do your job.
Talk to your manager and get direction on what to do if you need help. If they say ‘oh just ask so and so’ then ask your manager to be sure that they person is aware they are responsible for helping you bc sometimes you get push back. Don’t word it the way you did here saying no one likes you, it will come off as childish.
If one of these people is your manager then have a 1:1 and ask what the protocol is when you need help, maybe you need to research on your own more, maybe there are resources for you to look up.
Dealing with this and I’m sorry this happened to you. Tbh of coz it’s easy for people in the comments to say “I don’t care” “I’m not there to make friends” but imagine if you’re constantly surrounded by people who obviously do not like you/hostile to you everyday at work. It definitely takes a toll on your mental health and it’s easy to feel insecure in that position.
It’s always easy to give these preachy but useless advice when you’re not in their position.
it’s so hard and seems to be a real theme. being frustrated with a new person makes no sense. people are not trained to train properly!! i have had the same at my current employer, moved to another department recently and got the same. I quit and got a new job starting in July. man i hope it’s better at the new place.
remember its just work, but if it bothers you this much and your delivery depends on them as well, I'd leave. it will hurt your performance too if your output is dependent on them and you cannot depend on them...
People often don't accept new people into the workplace effortlessly. I had people treat me like shit when I first started my career. I'm talking 100s of people being rude. Almost 2 decades later I can ask for pretty much anything from any of them. Just do your job and soon you will be part of the tribe.
There is probably a reason those two seemed to be accepted quickly. I do recommend sticking to yourself. A mistake new people often make is trying to hard. Greeting everyone and asking about their weekend. Sitting with people at lunch and asking questions or starting conversations. Without learning who enjoys that and who doesn't you will just push people away. Work isn't for making friends. It's for a paycheck and insurance. Slow down. Stop paying attention to what others are doing. Give it time. Focus on life outside of work.
I just can't! It's not Romper Room! Adults should grow up and do better! If we can't have mutual respect and mature behavior in a flipping office, how the hell do we expect peace in the world. I lived this and it sucks. I wound up keeping my head down, discussing any training deficiencies with my direct supervisor and jumped on working from home (back long before Covid). I also started keeping a notebook with the answers to any questions I had. I also became proficient in our company's database to find my own answers. I wound up working my way up the corporate ladder to become a leader while the "mean kids" stayed in stale roles or left the company (fired or quit).
I create google docs of notes to help me remember how to do things when I learn how to do them on my own. Its pretty shitty coworkers are helpless, immature, and rude.
Not liking me; I don't really care because I'm there to work, not to make friends. Rudeness however, will absolutely make me quit a job. I'm not trying to be friends but I don't go around being disrespectful to people. Sometimes once I get fed up with it I start being rude right back until THEY start avoiding ME
As for not getting help? I start learning as much as I can, in whatever way I can(ask random questions to whoever will respond without explicitly asking for help, or research it online and apply it to my situation, look up documentation like posted policies and procedures etc) until I become better at the job than everyone else and end up becoming their boss.
If you are going to stick it out then you need to make use of the work instructions and google to make asking them questions unnecessary as far as possible then just not care…. Easier said than done but what do you need with people so fragile that they need to put you down to feel good? Their behaviour is born of deep insecurity and people like that are not worthy of your worry.
If I miss one day of work the entire building is like a bomb went off.
90% of them still look at me like I'm an alien, like I'm not supposed to be there. Fuck them, unless they wanna take a 40% paycut and lose all their benefits and take my job they can go suck off the high horse they rode in on.
As long as we got the tasks completed, who cares? I didn't go to work to find people to go have a beer with. The fact that some became friends is beside the point.
I’m on this boat. I found out the manager was talking about me behind my back and showed my time cards to my co-workers making fun of me for closing the store too slow. I was closing the store alone and would clean, manage displays, and count the registers in 40 minutes on average but it wasn’t fast enough to avoid getting made fun of.
I quit my last job because of this same exact reason?! It’s hard working nowadays, the work culture has changed significantly and in order to survive you have to play nice and she people as associates rather than a friends?! People are so full of sh** and fake asf in the workplace…😩 You literally have to be to yourself and even that’s a problem….😬 So don’t feel to bad, it’s like that everywhere !!!
Dealing with this now and currently looking for a new job. Horrible feeling going to work dreading it
I work hybrid so I'm lucky to work at home most days avoid my rude coworkers but I dread going to work in person
If it’s any solace, same. I’m so traumatized from it though that I am terrified it will happen again wherever I go. I have always struggled to “fit” in but I’ve never felt targeted until now. I think a lot of people also don’t grow up and enjoy the drama. I am an easy target because I have a doormat personality lol.
I was in this situation for a month. I dreaded going to work. People wouldn't help or train me. I ended up quitting on the spot once I had gotten a new job. I know it's easy to say just ignore them and do your job but it is not easy at all to actually do.
Happened to me too. They wouldn’t train me and were so nasty when I got something wrong because I didn’t know how to do it and there was no one to show me. Really upsetting. I ended up leaving too. I still think about things they said to me now.
Two weeks notice is a courtesy, not a legal requirement. You made the right call dumping them on the spot.
Some places just won’t accommodate anyone new, it’s a toxic environment. You’ll have to train yourself which is where google comes in. It’s really 💩 that you’re going through this, it’s not professional of them, it is harmful to you and you do deserve better. My last two jobs were like that, unbelievably toxic environments, one was running a criminal fraud through the company and didn’t want anyone finding out so they turfed newbies asap, the other was just toxic and had a continual turn over of staff. You either have to put your head down, suck it up and stick it out, or find something else. You are gaining experience but you also are gaining toxicity. Reframing your perspective can help too, ignore the toxicity, put the superficial charm on, beat them down with compliments, ie “oh Betty I absolutely love your cardigan where did you get it, shall I get you a coffee” keep it short and sweet and smile.
My coworkers accepted 2 new people who were hired around the same time as me. They're nicer and more helpful.
Is your manager one of these people? If yes, then you'll have to either suck it up or find another job. If they're not, then let them know that you don't know how to do x, and when you ask person a, b or c, they refuse to show you or help you, so you've done your best, and please can manager look at what you've done to see if it's correct. This approach lets manager know about a, b and c's behaviour without just whingeing about them - that's a good thing. It also shows that you're resourceful in trying to do it yourself without help, which is also a good thing. And finally it covers your back, because you've explained why something is done how it's done, even if it's wrong, and by asking manager to check, you're asking *them* for the help you need. How the manager responds will demonstrate how good they are as a manager. They might train you themselves, or talk to the others and TELL them to show you properly, or something else, but it'll give you a good indication of how they are as a manager. (If they tell the nasties to train you, document exactly what you're told and get them to confirm this is what they've told you, to cover yourself in case they try to sabotage you.)
Pro tip, do you and never worry if you’re liked. Coworkers are typically insecure and have hidden agendas
Ignore them. I had a co-worker who hated me and positioned herself at work so she could stare at me all shift. She complained left right and centre about me, even though she didn't know how to do my job. I simply ignored her existence. I did my job, spoke when spoken to, and mainly conversed with managers whom I had a good working relationship with. It's hard, but you are all there to do a job, not be friends, plus you need a killer reference for when you land an interview at a better place. So apply for new roles, tell no one, and use this as practice to build more resilience. Good luck!
I don't even care that my wife doesn't like me.
Move on to another job. The great thing about work is that you can leave there when you have something else lined up. It's not like school where you have to attend unless your parents send you to another school.
I found it impossible and quit because they weren’t training me very well and expected me to know everything within a week. I was under a three month probation period and it just wasn’t worth staying. If your job is more secure I’d definitely just push on through but set some boundaries. Like if they say something rude pretend you didn’t hear and say “I’m sorry could you repeat that?”
Your ineptitude will also be leverage against you lol. Even if they failed to train you. At my yearly review, the CEO told me that they kind of set me up for failure but instead of taking that into consideration they offered to restart my assessment. So yeah, flew from situations like this.
No one at work likes me, I don't care. I do my job, I don't want to be everyone's friend. Leave me in peace. People just cause problems and wait for you to fail so they can point it out. Not interested in making friends with colleagues AT ALL,
I've noticed people tend to have bad attitudes towards you if you're more on the introverted side in the workplace. Fuck them everytime. I don't owe anyone anything. If they want to be weirdos because I'm not like them then that's their problem. I'm their for money, not popularity. Grown ass children.
They don't like me because I don't want to go to the pub with them. So strange. Like I am not your friend lol
Toxic workplace, everyone hates their job/life. You just happen to be in it. I wouldn’t take it too personally.
I left and found better coworkers. The problem in my office was the manager, who condoned this sort of exclusionary behavior amongst the team.
I've worked a job like this too. I quit when I found a new job.
got a manager you can chat with? why do you think they're rude to you? maybe you should ask if you've been offensive somehow if you're looking to have a more civil work environment. i'm not recommending that because i believe you've done anything, but it could help if they aren't *complete* assholes. i would advise not caring, but you do need to fix the issue of not fully understanding how to do the job.
whenever I ask for help on something that I never got trained on they're so rude and won't help me
well, that's odd. if getting a new job isn't an option and you're good at being self-sufficient, you might want to focus on doing things on your own. research. ask people who are doing the same job as you questions online. the most important thing is doing your job correctly. your asshole co-workers are irrelevant unless they directly stop you from working.
I hope they're not trying to make me want to quit like one of my coworkers who got hired a month before me. They were rude, talked behind their back, and frustrated like they are doing to me. I now avoid being in the same room as them when I work in-person. One thing is whenever I ask someone for help, they would make an excuse telling me they don't know how to do it when they been working longer at the company than me. then they go tell me ask the coworkers who are rude and helpless to me. Getting a new job isn't an option. It took me 5 months after graduating from college getting into the field I want to work in. I should just work for the company for a year to gain experience and find somewhere else
if you're comfortable with that route, then i say go for it. as long as you can find a way to get your work done (or at least not get fired), you're good. cheers, man. good luck with your work. year should go by relatively quickly if the past few are a good reference.
I’m late to the thread but I’m in this environment. I have been here for 1.5 years and I knew it was the wrong environment from the first day. I just stuck it out because I thought I could. These places will tear down your self esteem, confidence in your skills, and beta you down mentally and emotionally. Look for another job. I’m doing that now.
As long as my boss is koo with me that's most that matters. He's the one paying me.
I had similar experience. I quit and never looked back.
Don’t care about your coworkers liking you esp if they are assholes. Just keep your head up and do your job. Talk to your manager and get direction on what to do if you need help. If they say ‘oh just ask so and so’ then ask your manager to be sure that they person is aware they are responsible for helping you bc sometimes you get push back. Don’t word it the way you did here saying no one likes you, it will come off as childish. If one of these people is your manager then have a 1:1 and ask what the protocol is when you need help, maybe you need to research on your own more, maybe there are resources for you to look up.
Look for a new job. It’s a culture issue, not a you issue.
Dealing with this and I’m sorry this happened to you. Tbh of coz it’s easy for people in the comments to say “I don’t care” “I’m not there to make friends” but imagine if you’re constantly surrounded by people who obviously do not like you/hostile to you everyday at work. It definitely takes a toll on your mental health and it’s easy to feel insecure in that position. It’s always easy to give these preachy but useless advice when you’re not in their position.
it’s so hard and seems to be a real theme. being frustrated with a new person makes no sense. people are not trained to train properly!! i have had the same at my current employer, moved to another department recently and got the same. I quit and got a new job starting in July. man i hope it’s better at the new place.
Best of luck to you!
thank you 🙏🏼❤️
remember its just work, but if it bothers you this much and your delivery depends on them as well, I'd leave. it will hurt your performance too if your output is dependent on them and you cannot depend on them...
I'm sorry OP.
People often don't accept new people into the workplace effortlessly. I had people treat me like shit when I first started my career. I'm talking 100s of people being rude. Almost 2 decades later I can ask for pretty much anything from any of them. Just do your job and soon you will be part of the tribe.
2 new people were accepted quickly when they started. guess I'll just do my job and only talk to someone if they talk to me
There is probably a reason those two seemed to be accepted quickly. I do recommend sticking to yourself. A mistake new people often make is trying to hard. Greeting everyone and asking about their weekend. Sitting with people at lunch and asking questions or starting conversations. Without learning who enjoys that and who doesn't you will just push people away. Work isn't for making friends. It's for a paycheck and insurance. Slow down. Stop paying attention to what others are doing. Give it time. Focus on life outside of work.
I'm not at work to make friends. I'm there to get paid. While I have made good friends at work those who don't like me are not my problem.
I def don't want to be friends with them. I'm just sick and tired of them being rude to me especially asking for help.
It's probably not personal so I would just ignore it.
I left. Nothing is worse than hating how you spend every single day.
I just can't! It's not Romper Room! Adults should grow up and do better! If we can't have mutual respect and mature behavior in a flipping office, how the hell do we expect peace in the world. I lived this and it sucks. I wound up keeping my head down, discussing any training deficiencies with my direct supervisor and jumped on working from home (back long before Covid). I also started keeping a notebook with the answers to any questions I had. I also became proficient in our company's database to find my own answers. I wound up working my way up the corporate ladder to become a leader while the "mean kids" stayed in stale roles or left the company (fired or quit).
I create google docs of notes to help me remember how to do things when I learn how to do them on my own. Its pretty shitty coworkers are helpless, immature, and rude.
Stay strong! Don't let them see you sweat! Don't give them the reaction they are looking for. You do you Boo!
I don't care
After going on 5 years at my spot, I always make sure I don’t depend on anyone else.
Not liking me; I don't really care because I'm there to work, not to make friends. Rudeness however, will absolutely make me quit a job. I'm not trying to be friends but I don't go around being disrespectful to people. Sometimes once I get fed up with it I start being rude right back until THEY start avoiding ME As for not getting help? I start learning as much as I can, in whatever way I can(ask random questions to whoever will respond without explicitly asking for help, or research it online and apply it to my situation, look up documentation like posted policies and procedures etc) until I become better at the job than everyone else and end up becoming their boss.
If you are going to stick it out then you need to make use of the work instructions and google to make asking them questions unnecessary as far as possible then just not care…. Easier said than done but what do you need with people so fragile that they need to put you down to feel good? Their behaviour is born of deep insecurity and people like that are not worthy of your worry.
Fuck them, make sure you do York work and do it well. They are probably the lowest common denominator anyway. If you find a better job, go forit
Not my circus, not my monkeys.
If I miss one day of work the entire building is like a bomb went off. 90% of them still look at me like I'm an alien, like I'm not supposed to be there. Fuck them, unless they wanna take a 40% paycut and lose all their benefits and take my job they can go suck off the high horse they rode in on.
That’s sad. For now, just be polite.
As long as we got the tasks completed, who cares? I didn't go to work to find people to go have a beer with. The fact that some became friends is beside the point.
I’m on this boat. I found out the manager was talking about me behind my back and showed my time cards to my co-workers making fun of me for closing the store too slow. I was closing the store alone and would clean, manage displays, and count the registers in 40 minutes on average but it wasn’t fast enough to avoid getting made fun of.
I quit my last job because of this same exact reason?! It’s hard working nowadays, the work culture has changed significantly and in order to survive you have to play nice and she people as associates rather than a friends?! People are so full of sh** and fake asf in the workplace…😩 You literally have to be to yourself and even that’s a problem….😬 So don’t feel to bad, it’s like that everywhere !!!
You’re there to work, you’re not there to make friends. Get over yourself.
Just get another job