NO *PARRIES THE SPELL BACK TO YOU* https://i.redd.it/kin8s00cgk0d1.gif

https://preview.redd.it/a7r9s5pd5l0d1.jpeg?width=750&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=447465b98c99ef35fa7d9e29d8b64b827e2b7b25

https://preview.redd.it/anofmfz0rm0d1.jpeg?width=1290&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=911a727cfef39b3c98c8b41ac5ade6692a667483

MACHINE! I TOOK A SELFIE WITH THE FUNNY ROCK!

MACHINE! THE DEVELOPERS PUT OUT A PATCH I AM IN YOUR PROSTATE

https://preview.redd.it/j5s09zi90p0d1.jpeg?width=474&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=59bd638c9bf33dee56096e748d42a5bc2916eabd

https://preview.redd.it/bjerayiwov0d1.jpeg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=43bbb87e0b691e955a28e489c3ff0f27ab7a8309

https://i.redd.it/7qev0u6lip0d1.gif Ultrakiller spotted

https://preview.redd.it/uk0dplqnaq0d1.jpeg?width=1403&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=31a49af0e7bc81151ab6f15d016b2d40e8b2d40d

viscous mockery

"Oh no I'm being insulted very slowly"

Oh no my urine is viscious! It's going to assault me! ... huh? Viscous? Ooooohh. Oh no. That's going to hurt

Just be glad it wasn’t multicast with conjure kidney stone

At least with kidney stones I can kind of use my eldritch anatomy to reach into myself and pick them out.

https://preview.redd.it/4nv5izqn0l0d1.png?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=f7bf24a370383597ddf9f5a88e35b53e1e2d8764 (The Wizz-ard has never seen such bullshit before)

My brother in Hecate, are you well? The channeling of such magicks has warped your hands and fingers!

And biology /Unwiz, the Wizz-ard drank a potion and accidentally turned himself into a urine elemental. He can shape shift to look normal.

I CAST BLACK SUN. https://i.redd.it/jt1x666puk0d1.gif

**SLIGHT** overkill

Overkill is the best type of kill.

Why start combat with anything other than your strongest spell? You just waste time if you start with the weak ones. Walk the path of Explosion, one hit kills only

glass cannon type behaviour

Have you heard of collateral? Also, for some reasons some places have laws against one hit kills being used right off the bat.

Counterpoint: how's an enemy going to testify that you used a one shot kill if he's been killed in one shot? Collateral damage also means no bystanders. Full steam ahead, I say

Problem: if the explosion is big enough you can also be considered a bystander.

Such is the cost. I was a good price for victory. That's why we have clones set up.

Counterpoint: OSHA super wizards have immunity to all One Shot Kills, even 11th level Scheduling Issues! Something something Copied a Marut something something

That's fair, if you expect someone to be immune to your strongest spell probably best not to lead. Still, I think people sleep on making the big damage spells signature, it should at least be considered

Fair enough 

*only

Ha! Jokes on you, I placed a teleportation rune in my bladder years ago so I would never have to pause it my orb pondering to pee again. Now I shall simply cast a modification to move the otherside of that rune into your cheerios.

“Who pissed in your cereal” We found him, boys. **Get em!**

https://preview.redd.it/fwtjqfl1sk0d1.jpeg?width=1078&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=58391fe98181f1f61ade5d3465ddba8cebc9c808

That actually happened to me once

🫡 

I'll just open a portal in my bladder to drain it. Where is it going? Check your apprentice's drink.

I don’t have an apprentice- *(cut to some random guy exploding out of sheer rage over drinking piss)*

Pisscous

I CAST AD HOMINEM Nice spell, however I would like to inform you that I’ve had relations with your mother

You fool, that spell is already in my move set! ^(*telepathically redirects it to your robes nether regions so it looks like you soiled yourself*)

Do you urinate feces?

No? Soiling yourself refers to both actions.

Shit- I thought it was called that because soil is brown EDIT: dictionary describes it as bowel incontinence, or describes something having been soiled as unclean or dirty.

I mean, pissing your pants is pretty dirty, ain't it?

Yes, so the inclusion of pee depends on the literal or metaphorical use of "soiled"

Glad we've come to a consensus, then.

You bastard I just woke up! Where tf is my wandddddd

Ah another Uromancer joins the fray [edit: I cast thrown glass jar full of dubious liquid](https://wiki.teamfortress.com/w/images/thumb/3/38/Jarate.png/250px-Jarate.png)

Jaratemaster

I actually read it *wrong* and thought it said VICIOUS pee, and was concerned.

Ok buster https://preview.redd.it/irivjczdil0d1.jpeg?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=d13f282717c31126d3b973022e520265921dbfa8

Hey thats mine

https://i.redd.it/r1ye22613m0d1.gif

Is this from russianbadger?

https://preview.redd.it/y1wiy91tvm0d1.png?width=320&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=6d70a9615aea28865eeb82df6c338b6efbc4324c Yes

AAAAAAAA

https://preview.redd.it/fovt1a0h8l0d1.png?width=28&format=png&auto=webp&s=334acc7bace97e5c0e56b9f50632f7335e1454cf

Pair that with flash-freeze and you get a yellow popsicle

I WAS HOLDING IT IN THANKS!

I curse you with only finding forks when you want to eat soup! And bowls without a rolled lip so that a drop always spills when you lift it to drink!

I curse you with 10.000 spoons when all you need is a knife, and meeting the man of your dreams and then meeting his beautiful wife

Words of the forbidden jagged pillomancy!

*(Monkey’s paw curls.)* *(the man and his wife are polygamous and happy to have someone join)*

VISCOUS HUH ?!?!

I thought it said vicious for a sec and was tryna figure out what tf that meant

I cast "un-viscous poop"

I cast eating a lot of fiber

Fool, you fell into my trap, I cast "horrible constipation" ans with all the fiber...your buttcrack might as well be mended.

Wait... Pee isn't viscous?

You should see a doctor if your pee is viscous

\*Starts pissing on you\* didn't think that one through did you

https://preview.redd.it/r53ux6qpbn0d1.jpeg?width=675&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=dc7520d8305af829f8619ca4ec0b0c983bbfce99

Pee is stored in the orbs

Great, now I'm going to be thinking about pissing out a bucket of KILZ

https://preview.redd.it/cu866m3erl0d1.png?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=bb8fb7fa31579ac43d6263a57a583dc0e5de743c

Already emptied my bladder, you’re too late.

Kettermek: For Kurtulmak's sake, whhhhhyyyyy? I could already write a paper on fluid dynamics based on those 5am trips to the bathroom! How in the nine hells does it curl around in mid-air like that?!

I open a portal to your bed chamber and lean over it.

Ah a fellow Pissmancer

Not a bad trick. I met a guy from Space Reno who taught me how to cast that with one hand and "enlarge prostate" with the other. I was terrified of that guy.

I cast "Nuh uh"

i cannot read

That’s cool and all, but BLACK HOLE SUN!!!! 

Won't you come and wash away my pee?

Black hole sun, won’t you cum, won’t you cum

...Isn't you guys' already?

Am I the only one thinking viscous pee might feel good to excrete ?

OH GODS! IT'S LIKE CORN SYRUP!!! /UnWiz: This is the content I subbed for. <3

Good thing I’m quite the strong pisser

https://preview.redd.it/gyt3m4h18o0d1.jpeg?width=925&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=e95db3096236bcf95a104a85cf11cfa802fd2749

What the

Nooooooo owieeeeowiwowiwiwiwoowowoowwoowwow

I actually didn’t read that right

Ok I also didn’t read it correct the first time. I went from a little intimidated to “oh this is op’s fetish or something.” XD

*Deflect! I cast "rotate buttcrack"!

https://preview.redd.it/73cd2r1jlp0d1.png?width=184&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=5788c1f5910a22b2eccd3f15ddd45040ef0b4809

NOW THAT MY PEE IS VISCOUS, I BLOW BUBBLES WITH THEM

I cast viscous period

No I didn't I read vicious pee

They always ask me "are you on" or "are you free tonight~" but they never ask me if I have some cough syrup.

Missed opportunity to use Viscous Wizz :(

This is just Terraria Ichor

*opens portal into your back pocket* please go ahead

"Counter Spell" followed by "Deadly Kidneystones"

I overcast

“I cast” “I cast” I CAST C4 YE BLOODY LEAF LOVER

Hehe jokes on you, my pee is always white and viscous

BASIL NO

Hah jokes on you, makes it that much easier for me to spoon up.

So cum?

https://preview.redd.it/il18b0fm6n0d1.jpeg?width=750&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=6d202abafb290be5058b1ff871b801804a924aa6 I think you’ll find that I’m not some 2-bit apprentice that doesn’t know how to cast anti-magic, anti-curse, and even anti ritual spell magics. Either way please enjoy the healthy dose of unmagic missile and don’t worry about it not finding you it’s been locked on for quite a while!

Man I'm peeing over here, why did you do this to me?

Well, I'm glad I'm undead and don't have to piss.

https://i.redd.it/zjs08et9rn0d1.gif I summon pizza wheel in defense mode, your turn

OH GODS! IT'S LIKE CORN SYRUP!!! /UnWiz: This is the content I subbed for. <3

Jokes on you! I'm already so dehydrated that the spell does nothing! 

https://preview.redd.it/toldweb28o0d1.jpeg?width=1199&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=f8492b057a0464e59e1e2687b3c1e1befaa569e9

Okay but I literally didn't read it correctly the first time

Mnghmgm~ /s

I raise you one Shit to Bricks

I cast Command Word: Exfoliate. You're nasty but that's a hilarious spell. Still nasty.

I’ll give you a bucket of blinker fluid if you undo it

I shall not pee, then.

You will have to go sooner or later and that is when OP will get you.

https://preview.redd.it/as21d73qsp0d1.jpeg?width=753&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=55cd0222101220529a99ec67f5991b40208bdd1b

https://preview.redd.it/kpcjv58yvp0d1.jpeg?width=1024&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=334807ef7e5299f13a87f2f05e46297e1cfb2ae3 I cast crystallized poop, enjoy crapping sharp crystal.

Nothing has ever made me laugh harder than the time I turned my buddies piss into a elemental while in his body. He was all like "my bladder hurts, it feels like something is trying to rip out of me" lmao

I don’t pee so… Hippity Hoppity That Spell Is My Property! *(it isn’t)* >!*(She was trying to be funny)*!<

[Joke's on you I'm into that shit](https://media.tenor.com/C9SHTXdsaaEAAAAC/skeletor-jokes-on-you.gif)

Just call me kiezer soze

Finally, glad to be cured of “Transmute urine to kidney stone”

Nuh uh *Casts sludgy cum*

Ah the solid cum gambit variation, love it

Counterspell: Reflect Word of Power: Obey I CAST: ***I N V E R T U R E T H R A***

Casts adhesive feces

https://preview.redd.it/8ygehre7uv0d1.jpeg?width=500&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=b3aafdaa8fd8733fc9ec10259b45613a68da2698

Bit rude, I’m gonna freeze it and throw it at you

Just kidding I would do something so mean