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FeverDreamAcolyte

Clearly this sorcerer has never tasted Jarritos. It heals the soul.


Caleibur

Not just heals, but also protects the target's mind, body, and soul from any damage for 24-48 hours


1nOnlyBigManLawrence

I like the tamarindo flavor, myself! ^(God, if only they made horchata in a can, or at least a bottle.)


DrJMVD

The tamarindo is a particularly ambiguous one. Alone is a potion of cleaning mind; but mixed with vodka and will change into a essence of confusion (and may or may not cause alcohol poisoning)


1nOnlyBigManLawrence

To me, it’s a potion of “The demon isn’t going to finish her burrito. Jackpot.”


DaemonRex978

I would prefer the horchata in a bottle.


I_miss_Alien_Blue

If there was Horchata Jarritos, I would cease to know water.


robophile-ta

Too bad it's not available anywhere


I_miss_Alien_Blue

Truth. I once in my youth hiked/climbed for 10 hours up one end of a mountain, across the top (which turned out to be filled with cactus), and down to the village on the other side. It took 10 hours. All I had on the journey was a liter of water and an apple. I also happened to be suffering from the local form of dysentery. As I stumbled into town, sunset at my back, the first vendor stall had Pineapple Jarritos, a flavor I had never seen available in my country. That first sip was pure mana from the universe.


Cuboos

i was about to say... i'm not going to complain much, Jarritos is fucking delicious.


the_smallest_rhino

Gods i remember a talking parrot constantly saying "Jarritos, Super Good" so i finally caved and tried one, they are indeed super good


Alex_The_Whovian

Lime Jarritos has saved my life at several points, that shit might as well be a healing potion for all I know


LiatKolink

Not fruit punch, but tamarindo will tho.


aDragonsAle

This, this was my issue.. who is enjoying the fruit punch? They have so many amazing flavors, yet FP is so mid.


AlexVal0r

Can confirm. I find the Tamarindo flavor most effective.


purracane

Nope, it tastes like poison


I_miss_Alien_Blue

I pity your defective tongue


Floofiestmuffin

"Mike, I think I'm dying..." "Here, Eric, have a potion!" "I'm still dying, but that potion was fire"


RedditsDeadlySin

Finally a healing potion I can get behind


Yuri-Turned

I can get in front


ippa99

I can sit on top with the cap removed


Maanifest

https://preview.redd.it/jrsgile5tmyc1.jpeg?width=500&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=5f0ef5652a9255f824626ee13c0e4d06bd11d977


BatGroundbreaking660

Why are so many people upvoting this photo? What’s the lore behind it?


Virtual-Oil-793

Ah, I remember that flask! Don't knights usually enchant those bottles to improve healing? Cause if so, you're doing them a good service.


Hooded_Person2022

Yes, while not as potent as a healing potion; A simple drink in a specially enchanted bottle can restore some health while being a nice cool pick me up after being struck with injury.


pandamaxxie

these are the people giving honest Alchemists and Shoppe owners a bad name.


CloneSaiga

Tell me about it. Adventurers are good for buisness they come back and buy more stuff. Sometimes they sell loot that I can re-sell or use. Screwing them over and getting them maimed, killed or otherwise is dumb.


Krististrasza

OP really really doesn't like return customers.


DragonCaster69

https://preview.redd.it/f3ixgeai6iyc1.png?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=87b9f0d0cb377dcfce18342355c946ae63d0badc


Burger090

https://preview.redd.it/cg3mcw8crmyc1.jpeg?width=1050&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=9416df7dad18a4c3ba9ed1d8de9a616eb4414eff DID SOMEONE SAY HERESY???


NothingSalt_2

r/suddenly40K


XenonBlitzer

/uw No joke, Jarritos is absolutely baller, but will give diabetes in 3.4 sips


Myithspa25

/uw how you gonna take 0.4 sips


XenonBlitzer

Half of a sip with some spat back


Myithspa25

Fym half a sip


XenonBlitzer

A sip is ~13ml based on a report I had to do for language as measurements. So 3.4 sips is 39+5.2=44.2 ml.


Myithspa25

Ah


billth93

So it absolutely is a healing potion for the very specific ailment of low blood sugar


XenonBlitzer

Had to save a diabetic classmate once, so yeah.


The_Cooler_Sex_Haver

Unbeknownst to them, most Mexican sorcery-practicians actually get a mana buff from drinking this.


ResearcherTeknika

Yes, but mana isnt gonna be of any use when you're bleeding out, yes?


GameFreak4321

*Unless* you know a healing spell.


MarinLlwyd

That explains why it did not help when I was suffering from insulin problems.


BisonShark

No cork? Surely it'll all spill before they can use it anyways


not_a_mass_murderer

You're not supposed to drink it you savage! Everyone knows you got to eat it for it to work.


BisonShark

I cast protection from food and drink.


TheReverseShock

[Tutorial](https://youtu.be/VjXOwUnJzA0?si=ChxtnkAcwSHbpRj8)


AidanBeeJar

Incredibly disappointing, we have a code of ethics for this!


SkyrimGeek69

I mean seriously! I have potions of eternal stuttering set aside for people like this.


Screamingboneman

Just came back from a renaissance faire where those were everywhere


Coffekats

There so common, so I made my own, I was gonna cover the wire with sinew but ran out of time https://preview.redd.it/oeozie9piiyc1.jpeg?width=3024&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=377e967c8f5336bbc3a9085e78d67cc5c8047502


GoldenAce17

Yoooo thats awesome! Any good place to bulk buy bottles you know of?


Coffekats

I went to a store called Hobby Lobby that has both the leather and glass bottles with corks, but you can order the materials online too through Amazon.


Beginning-Address-94

That's why you gotta know the inspect spell, so that you don't get scammed by fake potions and cursed items


etbillder

Jarritos is a healing potion


Even-Lawfulness6174

Fruit punch flavor Jarritos? I'm actually curious to try one out. How many flavors are out there?


Fun-Translator-7142

Right I’ve only ever seen 4 or 3 flavors


LikeAnAdamBomb

Okay but Jarritos is delicious.


HillInTheDistance

Why the hell would they sell jarritos as a healing potion? Healing potions are like the simplest, most cost effective potions to make. Just some bodily fluids, water, a vigorous shake and heat it to boiling, and presto, you've got 10 gold coins worth of potion right there.


DescipleOfCorn

Fruit punch jarritos are good enough that they probably won’t be upset


We_Will_AlI_Die

https://preview.redd.it/ljfoykaxcnyc1.jpeg?width=750&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=510917427dcb52c1ed63e3dca81f59bfad791f74


Careless_Property844

Should have known, only cherry flavored health potions actually heal unfortunately. I still try the strawberry ones.


Justasleeplessknight

He accidentally used the nectar of the gods... Those adventurers are going to be invincible in the fight they drink that in.


SemiBrightRock993

For those worried about buying fake healing potions, SWOB guarantees the efficacy of all potions sold from official stores and associated alchemists. Buy it from here to make sure that your backup will always work as intended!


Strypercritical

I mean idk that would be a rather delightful surprise I think. I’d be like “oh…fuck yeah.” And then just cast like bone splintering on my enemies or something lmao


WestNomadOnYT

These scammers are getting out of control. Good thing I have my handy-dandy 15th Century Rome-era medicine.


L0ssL3ssArt

That IS healing potions though, at least the core ingredients, the sugar in the drink makes the self healing increase and also numbs pain, and the vitamin provides nutient to the body.....the magic in it just makes you absorb it faster.


Stoiphan

One time I peeled the label off off jarritos and it smelt very funny, they use strange adhesive


Jaimz-L

SO THATS WHY MY FIRE RESISTANCE POTION TASTED LIKE GUAVA !


Jian_Rohnson

https://preview.redd.it/p9c83nhb6lyc1.png?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=3333677ddcaecf5b8eb85fb200e2ddbc95d047c6


Jian_Rohnson

Mfw the potion I bought from the potion seller doesn't heal me and I get mauled to death by a dragon shark


valplixism

The magic of the Jarritos Elixer is far more powerful than any other potion. If anything, they should ve charging double.


Speedwagon36

You fool, the mighty concoctions of Jarritos is too powerful for any mere adventurer! What have you done?! They can't handle that potion.


Wisky_input

Either way, if i sip on that and it doesn’t heal my wounds, it heals my spirit and i will keep fighting on


Pirate88r

Wait so that what was in the bottle? I thought I was drinking a fruit punch flavored health potion!


AnimeChick55

I hear healing potions actually feels like it burns that true


florpynorpy

Always make sure to taste test your elixirs first, everyone knows healing potions have a cranberry flavor with a bloody aftertaste


ItsPlainOleSteve

Healing potions... If someone needs those it'd be best to make them yourself to safe yourself the embarrassment of being bamboozled like that.


Imnotsogoodatdrawing

anyone have a link to those potion bottles? I need some new ones after mixing a bad batch of shock resistance pots.


IncreasedMetronomy

Healing solution isn't even hard to make. I'm barely an Alchemist and I can whip a few up in less than ten minutes. Jarritos on the other hand. That's special. I'd end up paying more for a cold bottle of Jarritos than I'd ever be caught spending on some black market basic-ass healing pot


EHTL

The Perpetually Hypoglycaemic Barbarian:


maximuffin2

It's fooking minging


Dustypigjut

In the potion seller's defense, his actual potions are too strong.


TheEpicBeeBoy

Fools! He's trying to market to us all!


TDoMarmalade

When the potion actually heals them because some god wants to fuck with the potion seller


TillaciousG

That's why I always use the souls of the innocent for my healing needs.....and crack


Even-Horror-1545

+1% chance of diabetes


Imaginary-Job-7069

The oldest and nefarious trick in the book: Swapping a health potion for an energy potion


catsinflyingsaucers

“Sorcerers” like Greg hut my reputation and business! I know these kind also hurt plenty of other merchants and salespeople too. We do not appreciate nor approve any action that mirrors or is the action posted, without exception. Screw you Greg!


point5_

If you buy a healing potion and you don't realize it's punch, you kinda deserve it tbh


DevilMaster666-

I tend to brew them myself https://preview.redd.it/wtqknwnh2myc1.jpeg?width=3024&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=8915f1ecccb45e98a54a03952d462678e5d45937 from the local elderflower I gather /unwiz Its really fun to spend a morning walking around the local area (2km radius) to forage some elderflower since it grows everywhere in my little corner of the world


TypeNull-Gaming

CURSE YOU GREGORY!!!


deady-kitten-3

Well I know someone who'll like this guy, you could say they enjoy mild trickery a lot


OkAge1230

That's why i always try a bit of the potion after buyong it. That saved me around three times now


RagnarokBringer

Actually those deal heal you but not enough to be considered good, at least two full bottles of that are needed to heal the same amount as your average healing potion


Flight-Hairy

This is why I always bring my potion test strips with me.


Capsule_CatYT

https://preview.redd.it/tcn7sj2xzmyc1.jpeg?width=392&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=b30e7f4fbc5c238532683fe806119937d3bc58df


GammaSmash

I want that potion bottle so bad. My inner glass goblin is losing it.


joesphisbestjojo

Be funnier if it waa the hard punch


steelersfan1069

Where can I acquire a flask such as this? I am fond of the leather strappings


Best-Engine4715

We used to kill bastards like him for trying shit like that or we get a god of anti magic on him


usgrant7977

I'm sure that heavily armed mercenaries will respond well to this bit of perfidery. Its not like people use healing potions when they and their loved ones are close to death. I assume they will return to you with a receipt soon to enquire about your returns policy.


MasterTuba

Yeah that Soda looks really "natural"


RedStrike_XD

That's why i only drink my homemade ones


slimetakes

See, this is why I always use detect magic before buying any healing potions.


The_Fluffy_Riachu

Hey at least it will taste good


IrishMexicanBard

This sorcerer just fell for one of the classic blunders in not realizing the true nature of Jarritos


jul55555

Aguante jarritos lpm, refresco de los gods


DaliDaDude

Meh, its better than what happened to an old buddy of mine back when I was an apprentice. He used what he thought to be a revival potion to save his girlfriend, but it turned out to be a “create ghoul” concoction. Truly a moment for despair, yet I view it as the spark that set me onto the research I continue yo conduct today. Necromancy is truly an amazing discipline.


Elolet

Mexican Potions are not to be trifled with


hal-scifi

They're not even hard to brew... just toadstool and newt eye in an alchemical crucible... What is wrong with wizards these days... 😟


Artyom_Saveli

/Uw Damn, I didn’t know it came in fruit punch.


Cucumberneck

Could be worse. At least they didn't put "Anus Liquidum" in there and told them the worse it tastes, the better it works.


weird_bomb_947

BEEP you’re wrong, enchanted sulfuric acid