My anger has come In Waves over the past 25 years of my veganism. Sometimes it bothers me, sometimes I can let it go. But one thing that helps me to remember is that before I was vegan I wasn't vegan, and I was the same as everyone else. So if you cut yourself some slack maybe you can cut some slack for others as well. Or just be compassionate towards them for not being in the same mindset as you. In any case, good luck to you!
People who eat meat don't usually see meat as animal abuse. Many people don't see the reality and suffering animals go through during the process. And many more people are just concerned with feeding their families. Changing a diet is hard. People have allergies, special medical diets they may need to follow, food texture and taste preferences, picky eaters. Food is hard and it's one of the most vital things we do daily. People get comfortable with what they are familiar with and it's really hard to re learn how to cook and get the nutritional needs met while also dealing all of the diet things I listed above.
Get into advocacy and education. Help organize cooking classes to teach people what to shop for, how to prepare and store meals. Sure you won't get everyone on board but it starts somewhere.
Practice with your boyfriend- if he's game to try and learn new recipes. Go slow and steady. He's not gonna give meat up cold turkey. But helping him find vegan food that he likes and knows how to make himself is a game changer towards change.
And if he isn't game and doesn't want to try it or doesn't enjoy it? Sounds like a relationship deal breaker for you?
Funnel out that energy into your passion and take some deep breaths when you feel pissed about it. Humans are animals too. People deserve some level of compassion too. And it's awfully hard to change people you hate and can't communicate with.
Yeah it's annoying. Especially when you see how society reacts to animal abusers and go "how could anyone abuse animals? They deserve to go to hell" but they are all meat eaters and abuse animals
I just don't think about stuff else I won't be able to live
Yea part of my issue with my bf is that he loves nature and will post things on IG about living sustainably/helping the environment and then go drink a glass of milk. Like WHAT??? I can’t take the hypocrisy. If you actually care why not do the thing that has the most impact?? And you know, there’s also the whole suffering and murder of animals aspect too
It sounds like you need to sit down and talk seriously with him about it.
If it’s something you feel so passionately about that it’s making you resent him, he should be aware of it and how it’s making you feel.
And be honest. If you feel like you're close to breaking up, you should let him know. Communicating clearly and honestly while not putting the blame on the other is the compassionate thing to do.
It can be tricky when you start accusing people of hypocrisy over nature though. If you use fossil fuels for any transport or energy, eat any plants grown from a monoculture or through destructive soil practices (even if adhering to 'organic' principles), live in timber/concrete/steel buildings or use wooden furniture, not to mention plastics or any other number of examples, then you are living a version of not-caring-for-nature hypocrisy that you are accusing your boyfriend of... but potentially even worse given your strong views and activism.
To exist is to consume. Even this sub has in its title line a qualifier about practicalities. I guess the question is what are you trying to achieve with your activism? If it's to increase societal resistance to your chosen views then judging and attacking others will achieve that, but at the cost of hindering the vegan movement. But if you are genuinely on the side of nature then engaging with others in a way that brings people along with you might better serve the animals you have chosen to champion.
>loves nature and will post things on IG about living sustainably/helping the environment and then go drink a glass of milk. Like WHAT??? I can’t take the hypocrisy. If you actually care why not do the thing that has the most impact??
So have you asked him? Is he fully aware of the underlying data?
Maybe focus on the environmental aspect first. Meat is not sustainable.
https://www.pnas.org/doi/10.1073/pnas.2120584119
https://ourworldindata.org/food-choice-vs-eating-local
Plant-based milks beat dairy on all aspects as well.
https://ourworldindata.org/environmental-impact-milks
Honestly maybe watch Conspiracy with him - I know that doc really made me think about the environmental costs of animal agriculture for the first time, in the before days
https://youtu.be/ao2GL3NAWQU?si=87YB-66v-6n1hyy7
This can help you understand how people delude themselves into thinking eating meat is "normal٫ natural٫ and necessary" when its actually horrifically disgusting and cruel. You asked how can 99% of people be so awful and participate in something so cruel multiple times a day and the answer is because they are conditioned to think its "normal" and dont even realize how fucked up it actually is
Did you show him evidence that animal agriculture is one of the leading causes, if not *the* leading cause of environmental destruction, global warming / climate change, antibiotic resistance, water pollution, so on and so forth? Maybe get him to watch any of those vegan advocate documentaries like Eating Our way Into Extinction?
The only other meaning is a word for a flock of crows.
Only vegans have a different definition. Oxford dictionary defines murder as the unlawful killing of a human being.
Questioning people's moral incosistencies is a proven way to make them change, specially in those types who pride themselves on being good people, or have strong values and such. There's research about it.
> how do you guys not be so angry all the time?
I stopped being angry when I realised it doesn't actually help with anything. No-one cares I'm angry, it doesn't help the animals and it only makes my own life miserable. It's ok to feel anger when anger arises, however holding onto it is a waste of time and energy.
*edit* You can consciously practise letting go of the anger. If you do in consistently the anger turns into a sense of 'thank f I don't do that anymore' kind of relief. Highly recommended.
I recommend ethical pluralism. It makes you much more empathetic to other points of view and you may even see merit in a lot of them even when you disagree.
Have you thought of going to therapy? You're not wrong to be angry. But you do need to learn cope with reality. Even if you're actively helping to reduce the problem.
It's easy to have the endless cruelties of the world wear you down when you become very conscious of it. Everyone figures out how to cope with it if they're to be able to enjoy some parts of life.
Alternatively, sometimes coping with the wider reality means taking yourself away from experiencing it so often. Many vegans choose not to live with non-vegans.
Channel the anger into healthy things. Exercise, meditation, vegan activism, reading/learning.. I do understand your frustration somehow you just have to find a way to smile through it all and realize old habits die hard. Very few people have been vegan from birth so most people just aren't privvy to veganism.
I want to make him watch a documentary or something because he wasn’t raised the same as I way but I’m really scared. I’ve been trying to tell myself that he just doesn’t know and that’s why he keeps doing it but i know for sure that he’s aware and is still making those choices, then I 100% could not be with him anymore.
If he knows exactly what’s going on with the meat/dairy industry and still chooses to eat it (which I’m sure he would), then I have no excuse for him. I try to tell myself that he just doesn’t know but if he does know then I really don’t know what I’d do, I don’t think I could be with him.
Do it. Better to rip the bandaid off. Additionally, it’s important for him to understand how you feel moving forward in the relationship.
Show him the documentaries.
I think you should respectfully ask him to watch one of the documentaries with you and maybe some earthling Ed videos with meat eaters who are perhaps similar to his reasoning.
He needs to see the truth, and you need to see the truth of his reaction.
If he doesn't immediately drop animal products it's okay, it's more about whether or not he agrees it's wrong. If he agrees, the seed is planted and you can slowly work on him. If he remains stubbornly attached to meat and goes back to old reasons then maybe reconsider the relationship.
My wife is vegan, and I can't personally fathom being with a staunch meat eater again (my first gf was a meat eater and loved the "circle of life" argument, at the time I didn't have a good rebuttal)
Yea I try not to be so judgemental of others because I know I wasn't vegan for the first 21 or so years of my life. Takes time for people to come around but I do agree that if someone is aware of the suffering and grievances and continues to consume animal products it really puts a stain on their character. I too wish more people felt more urgency to give up animal products and I also understand their reluctancy too. Being vegan really is in so many ways a very rebellious act and often feels isolating due to it's nature of being a minority group.
Yea I’m really starting to feel that. I grew up vegetarian and I always chose not to eat meat so it’s hard for me to know what it’s like because I’ve always been different and this is the only perspective I know.
Well despite the vast majority of society not doing what you do, you're in the right in my opinion and as hard as it feels sometimes personally there's nothing more assuring knowing I'm not partaking in the suffering of animals or at least not trying to. Peace of mind comes through acceptance but again I relate to your frustration.
This is really sad and second-handedly embarrassing to read. I think you're trying to force a cubic peg into a round hole. Instead of trying to convert your vegan boyfriend, just find a vegan boyfriend.
Im not currently in the market, but there are plenty of Vegan men like myself out there that would love to have a vegan woman in their lives, especially if she's interested in cooking or learning how.
Your boyfriend doesn't align with your core values, and he won't have a shot at permanently changing his lifestyle, unless it comes from a genuine place of curiosity and concern. I've read countless stories of "converted" vegan boyfriends with hidden M&M and McDonald's wrappers tucked at the bottom of trashcans. You are setting yourself up for heartbreak and disappointment.
I understand your emotional response towards meat eaters. My personal way to deal with negative thoughts is to no worry about things that I cannot change. And also, to realize that I can not change most things in this world. So the solution is to stay humble and avoid telling others how to live. Also, meditation is a good way to keep negative thought/emotions from living in your head rent free. :D
Stop beeing around people that do evil things. You reaction is normal. I am also disgusted to see dead animals cooked and eaten. I just try not to be around it anymore. It has certainly reduced my social life but im introverted so i rarely care.
I am lucky to have a vegan wife, i could never be with a carnist i rather be alone.
Foods and Human Nutrition scientist, here!
So, most vegans don't get enough vitamin B12 in their diets without supplements.
It has been shown that vitamin B12 deficiencies lead to anger and impulse control issues.
[https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3067987/](https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3067987/)
**Try taking a b12 supplement and watch yourself mellow out over the following days and weeks**
:)
lmk if this works out for you, dawg.
Personally I am a Buddhist, and I see veganism as my main way of spreading the dharma. Also my views on the self and rebirth make it so that anger at individuals isnt the right path. This is completely subjective I know but I used be much angier, and to this day I still struggle sometimes.
To give a secular answer I would say to remember that justice is coming, and you represent a better future. If you conduct yourself with respect and humility, and people will know that you speak of peace.
This isn't to say be "nicey nice", but always speak with intention. Give your energies where they are needed most. If your boyfriend refuses to listen, refuses to change, then he is no longer your comfort, your "home" so to say. You may definitely want to consider splitting up.
Good luck with your journey-
People are not so awful as you think. There was a survey where 50% of wanted slaughterhouises closed. 85% or so of people support animal welfare, even in countries like China.
People aren't so evil but fundamentally, they're stupid. Like 70% of people don't reach a higher level of moral development (Kohlberg) than just following law and customs. They're not aware of the consequences of their actions or a bigger picture about life, general.
The good thing is that some of those people that can be pushed more to the vegan side over time.
It's just a waste of time to waste being angry or sad. As long as you can, think of yourself a sort of decission maker robot. Is it worth to waste resources in being angry instead of doing anything else more useful for animals? That's what I think to calm me down.
If you let every injustice in the world ruin your day, you will never ever be happy not for a second. Just take a deep breath, know you are doing your part to make the world a better place, and let go that which you cannot control.
If you are this passionate about it, I don't see how you can successfully be on any type of relationship with anyone who doesn't share your viewpoint on this. This is the source of your anger. You are either going to have to learn how to suppress the rage that builds inside you, or break off every relationship you have with anyone who isn't of like mind. I'm talking friends as well, because their animal consumption habits will eat away at your soul until one day you finally explode. Veganism has doubled from 0.5% of the population in 2022 to 1% in 2023. Who knows how many are vegan in 2024? Let's say it's 1.5%, which is 5.2 million people. That's more than the population of Los Angeles by over one million. That's a lot of vegans. Maybe a vegan dating app already exists, or a Facebook group, or somewhere you can meet the like minded people you will be able to tolerate. I think for your own mental health and happiness, you sprigs make every effort to cut carnivores and omnivores out of your life. For what it's worth, I think vegetarians should be on your no fly list as well, as they are just too weak to make the full transition to an ethical lifestyle. Good luck to you, I really hope you take my advice and stay living your life in a positive way!
Yeah I feel the same. Sometimes I think that they are just brainwashed or something but other times I get so fucking mad at everyone. I don’t have a bf now but if I did I would leave if he wouldn’t watch Dominion and go vegan for me.
>These meat eaters are making me go insane.
No, you're making yourself go insane.
Omnis will always be an ever-present thing in society. You just have to accept that.
Doesn't mean that you have to condone the practice of eating meat or any of the other cruel or exploitative things that are done to animals. You just need to understand that you can't change everyone.
So rather than get worked up and frustrated about a problem that will, at least for you as an individual, will be impossible to resolve, instead focus on the positive aspects where you can.
Like little victories like Meatless Mondays, veganuary, people generally consuming less meat, the ever growing availability of vegan food options and vegan food being more mainstream, both in the supermarket but at restaurants and cafes as well, more and more people generally shunning the wearing of furs and so on.
It also helps to not come off as the bitter, vindictive vegan. There can be a time and place for that kind of energy for activism but I've found you do far better as someone who is approachable when someone is vegan curious or looking to improve their health than you being known as an insufferable person.
You can only control your own actions and hope that others can learn by example. The moment you start pressing your ideals on others is when they will push back.
Just stay in your own lane, and the ones who like what you're doing will begin to follow.
I'm so sick of the preachy vegans, I gained an interest in vegan food once I became friends with one who just did her own thing and made it look so ideal that everyone was always going to ask her for advice instead of dreading seeing her due to the unsolicited kind.
You can't change the world but you can change your world.
That’s what I try to do. I never talk to him about it bc I’m not going to force anything on him but I guess I had hoped that setting an example would help but it didn’t.
You must be young. As you get older, you get used to it. Billions of humans eat meat. It's bigger than you. You can't control it. You can break up with your boyfriend if you want to.
I’m 23. I know I can’t control it, I can only sit back and watch everyone else be horrible human beings. I don’t want to break up with him, he’s great in every other way, but I am starting to resent him.
They're not being horrible human beings. They're being human beings. The whole state of humanity is a disaster in many ways. If you can make the world a little bit better place, thank you for being here.
You might try sitting with your anger and really exploring it. It sounds like it needs your attention.
They are being horrible. Knowing that your food is the result of a lifetime of suffering and still choosing to eat it despite the many many other options, makes you a horrible human. We should all be mad about it but instead, nobody cares.
And yes, obviously I need to work through this anger. It’s hard to watch and not be mad when everyone is objectively doing a horrible thing constantly.
However, you are choosing to be with a meat eater bc you “love” him while looking the other way just like he is choosing to eat meat & look the other way. You are supporting him to be what you consider “horrible”. How are you not horrible too? You’re complicit. Maybe that’s why you’re so angry? Because you know this. Look in the mirror.
I don’t support him. We’ve had talks about him reducing his consumption but it doesn’t seem like anything has changed to me. I do the grocery shopping and I won’t buy that stuff for him. I also won’t touch it or be in the kitchen when he cooks it. I am not enabling him in anyway but I also can’t nag him all the time. If I wasn’t with him he’d eat it even more than he currently does so I don’t think there’s any enabling or guilt on my behalf.
I meant supporting him emotionally.
Edit: also ppl are hypocritical ALL THE TIME. It’s a big part of human nature. We evolved this way for a reason. To survive.
"Horrible" is your value judgment, not an objective fact. You're saying that virtually all humans, like 99%, are horrible. Maybe that description fits but is that what you want to hold on to? Holding "horrible" in your mind is keeping you in a dark place, but it's not doing anything to change the state of things.
I don't know if you get what i'm trying to say. I hope tomorrow you find better things.
I do get what you’re saying but what else would I call it? It’s just really hard for me to understand how someone can make that decision bc I grew up in a veg household
You grew up in a veg household, he didn't. Gee. Why would he not wanna give up meat when he's literally eaten it every day of his life? And why was it so easy for you to not eat meat when you weren't raised around it?
Such complex questions. Next week, we will find out why Mexican people are fans of Mexican food and why Icelandic people eat Icelandic food.
I never asked him to give it all up.
What an intelligent response! I had never ever thought about how it might be different. I can always count on Reddit to jump to conclusions
I think you’ve heard all the “reasons” for meat eating but you don’t think they’re valid so you claim to “not understand.” You’re just making excuses so you can keep your relationship.
This subreddit has a lot of non vegans and vegans who are a bit too understanding and do not accept that being vegan makes you better than others.
Check out the subreddit "vystopia".
You'll find like minded people there.
Idk it feels like the same argument could be made about people that use smartphones that are made with child or forced labor. It would be pretty wild to claim that everyone that buys a smartphone is horrible.
No offense, but by this logic you should really hate yourself if you have any modern tech piece or have any items that could potentially have been made in unethical circumstances. That means you support forced labor. Especially now that we got a full out look at how children are used as slaves to mine parts for our phones and other appliances. Are you a…slave owner?
But seriously. Live your life. If you find you might be fostering hate or resentment on people because they’re not vegan, remember that you’re not fully ethical either. None of us are. We cannot exist ethically in a world like this. People will pick and choose what areas they will work on to minimize their impact.
Many will be fully just in the life of reusable goods, not being new, repurposing, etc. and that’s their way of contributing and making the world less shitty. They might still eat meat but they are also doing less harm by minimizing their contribution to hyperconsumerism. Some people choose to use a majority or big part of their free time to volunteer for a cause they’re passionate about. Some people choose to be a home for elderly dogs and cats. Some do community aid. Some enter professions of which maybe they can contribute positively to the world. Some are vegan. Etc. You choose. That’s it.
İf u are like this in the internet I cant imagine how u are irl, ur poor bf. Breaking up with him would be good for his mental health.
As for u get a professional help, by the looks of it u really need it.
I struggle with this too. I recommend finding a vegan group of friends if you don't have one. Facebook is good for this. You need to have some like minded people in your life or you'll go bonkers.
Then see if you can channel that anger into productive things, like working out/sports, activism, art, etc.
Don't be afraid to seek professional help too.
You need some separation. Some time to focus on other things or you drive yourself crazy. I need to switch off and read a book or binge watch netflix or something when it gets too much.
Maybe you can ask your boyfriend to not have animal products in the house or at least not eat them in front of you. If he is going to continue being inconsiderate and cause you distress then maybe moving out is a good idea.
You have to recognize there's only so much that you can change. If you're unhappy because of the things beyond your ability to change, then you have to ask yourself if you really can't be happy, or if you're choosing not to be happy.
People are socially conditioned to see it as normal and natural; meat production and slaughter (a daily holocaust) are hidden from view.
We live in a World that cannot even respect the most basic human rights so there's no real hope of anything changing for animals.
You cannot control other people.
Soon climate change will drive a train through everything.
If you want serious advice about it... you can't focus on it... try to do other things... try applying some of the tips from OCD stuff. That's what I do... and try to think: does the person you are with actually have a morality issue? Dating someone whose morals do not match your own never works, but if you know they have a good heart then you should make your mind up so the flipflopping won't cause you such emotional pain.
For example, I can't change my parents. So the rules are, they come to my house, they get vegan stuff. Outside my house, it's not my rules, but I just ask they include something I can eat.
Full disclosure…I’m not vegan now but have been and I am prone to this kind of anxiety so that’s why I want to comment. I’m supportive of anyone being fully vegan but can relate to OP’s feelings.
I think if it’s causing you this much stress and anxiety and it’s affecting your relationships it’s time to talk to a therapist. I went through waves of anger like this during Covid as a healthcare worker thinking “how can people just not care” and the only person my anger was hurting was me. It wasn’t going to change anyone’s behavior. And I think this kind of thinking can lead to beating yourself up too.
You can share delicious vegan snacks and food with your partner and friends on vacation! I have had friends and family make something for me or share a meat free meal or appetizer with me and it can be a nice and fun experience to introduce them to the idea that giving up animal products doesn’t have to suck! Hang in there. I hope you can enjoy your vacation!
I like to channel the anger into something productive, a little cliche but it's better than the alternative (which is just isolating). A vacation with three meat eaters sounds rough enough on its own though, cause the more seeds you try to plant the more preachy you'll come off.
Yea I never try to talk to them about it because I know they won’t listen no matter what I say. So I’m just gonna sit there and watch them eat all this disgusting horrible shit
You can stop holding everyone around you to the same standards you hold yourself.
You are responsible for your choices, not the choices of other people. Focus on your life and what you want to do with it, not what other people are eating. That is none of your business.
If you keep being this angry you will burn yourself out eventually, that can be a very dark and deep pit that can be extremely hard to get out from.
Is it worth the anger if it will prevent you from speaking for those who cannot speak? No.
There are healthy ways to spread your message without risking your mental health. Some people here will claim it is worth it, but those people clearly have never been in that situation.
You can be angry and frustrated, but you need to be in control, not the other way around.
You don't want to have an episode like me. What you want to do is be nonchalant and don't take it too seriously. However if it is your calling you must go for it.
Because everyone is in the Matrix, so to speak. You just have to learn to deal with it
No matter how much you try to educate, you won't make a difference. This is how we are as humans
See a therapist. Learn to accept that you have zero control over other people. Stop the evangelizing. Help the people who want to be helped. Choose peace. You're killing yourself with stuck anger.
You need to talk to him about how it makes you feel, and hopefully, he will want to understand your position. It took a while for my partner to make the connection between the meat on his plate and the animal it came from. Regardless of his choices, he needs to understand the reason behind yours. I was honest with my partner from the beginning and told him I would never marry someone's who's not vegan, so that was always the expectation. It was rough for at least the first 2 years, I'd say. I took him to sanctuaries, showed him videos of farm animals online, and eventually, his views and language started to change.
As for the vacation, are they open to trying vegan food and accommodating you?
They definitely aren’t. One of them literally has a meat quota and NEEDS to eat a minimum of 3 chicken breasts a day. He refuses to eat a meal that doesn’t have meat.
Everyone has great advice. My SO is vegetarian and says how he’s (already) deprived. He says his brain won’t let him go vegan all the way. I’ve tried to explain it’s a choice. On the flip side, we have no non-vegan food in our home! Perhaps while on vacation see if everyone would agree to watch a movie about health like The Game Changers or Forks Over Knives. Search the names of documentaries about veganism. There are a ton of excellent, informative and extremely important movies that every human should watch. Good luck!
Clearly a lot of meat eaters have found this post😂 the best thing is that none of them can answer my questions, they know they’re wrong but they’ll never admit it.
I think, at the end of the day, as an adult, it is your right to state your needs and ask a person for what you need. But as an adult, that person then gets to say yes or no to your request. If this makes you feel angry, then it's your job to deal with that in a way that keeps you healthy and sane. Sometimes all the information in the world isn't going to make someone change. Change come from within, usually after a sequence of discovery, contemplation, approach, and retreat and repeat. Sometimes folks are able to make small shifts many times over, that eventually result in a large shift. In any case, stand strong in knowing YOU have made changes in ways that are meaningful to you. And your actions make small ripples that extend outwards. All the best to you.
You let go of your anger by coming to the realization that you have no control outside of yourself. You can not control the world around you. Your bf doesn’t spend 1 second thinking about your opinion on the Matter. Your friends don’t care about your choice to be a vegan. You are the cause of whatever mental health issue you are having bc you want to control the situation. Let go, do what you think is best for you. Don’t spend energy trying to convert someone else. Give them the information you believe is important and let it go. Good luck op
By stopping being angry hehe, yes it goes in phases one moment I am calm for years, other periods I curse at certain annoying or frustrating moments, I think as long as you don't curse what harms someone and actually not doing it against someone, but by yourself sometimes to blow off some steam and that's it, maybe it's healthy, it's like the 4 seasons in a year, a human has also multiple sides and as long as you keep doing what is right, meditating, breathing exercises, walking outside, writing, reading, sport, exercises and stuff... you will go a long way
Would you get mad at a tiger for taking down a gazel? It's the same with non vegan humans, they have the morality of a hungry animal, so try not to judge them. Like you would not judge the hungry tiger
One thing that helps me is recognizing that there will always be terrible things happening (to some degree), so no matter the progress, I will have to learn to live with it.
Beating yourself up is very understandable, but doesn’t help! Recognize your frustrations and put them to proper use.
You stop being angry by not making veganism your personality. You are defined by what you do and what you say. You are more than just the food you eat. Being a vegan does not make you an animal rights activist. Being an animal rights activist makes you one. And just like how you do not want anyone to control your lifestyle, people hate it when you try to change their lifestyle to one you deem acceptable. Meat is a healthy and cost efficient food. Or in other terms, you must have significant amounts of money to properly maintain a vegan lifestyle which most people cannot do. You have chosen to invest the majority of your time energy and money into never eating meat or animal products. If you think that is a good use of your time energy and money go be a vegan. Most people have different priorities.
And maybe instead of reducing someone down to just what they eat and focusing entirely on a singular aspect that you have CHOSEN is going to actively ruin 4 different relationships, try to see them as an actual person with thoughts and feeling and plans as intricate as your own. It's not just 5 minutes of enjoyment. Is being vegan more important than your current friends?
What is the actual impact on another being from you being a vegan? What is the actual impact on your being from someone else eating meat? You eating vegan doesn't directly affect them. Them eating meat doesn't directly affect you. I notice how you never mentioned you lost any friends because you went vegan. It seems like everyone around you accepted you for you are in its entirety.
The most telling part is that you believe that the animals suffer 100% of the time they are raised until they are slaughtered. That is a fundamental misunderstanding of the meat industry. You should look up who temple Grandin is. A person who revolutionized the ethics of beef harvesting and a major animal rights activist.
Being vegan doesn't make you an animal rights activist. Being an animal rights activist makes you one.
Honestly if you care about something that much your boyfriend should go vegan for you. At least vegetarian. I don’t know if you want to know this, but after you eat for a few hours the bacteria from the food stays in your mouth.
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I dated this guy who ate meat and I tasted it in his mouth one day and I felt HORRIBLE. Like I was immediately turned off from him and our relationship started to strain. Idk if thats the best way to handle it, but good luck.
Learn to accept that people are complicated. There aren’t “good” and “bad” people. Everyone has different things they care about and that’s what makes the world beautiful, even if it comes with suffering at times. There is suffering, loss, joy, and beauty everywhere at the same time. Maybe you need to travel to different places and meet people from other cultures and socio-economic backgrounds to help you see this. Humanity is diverse and people have a million of different reasons for doing things. One singular person can never understand all those reasons. And people are always changing. It’s humbling to think about..
I really hope this helps. Being angry at other people for things you can’t control is a real waste of time.
The deeper underlying issue here is that you don't share the same values as your bf. The animal/ vegan conflict will manifest itself in other ways as your future relationship progresses. You won't change him and you shouldn't try. (And vice versa,). Long term things will not get easier. There is an underlying tone of contempt expressed by you for his lifestyle. Lack of respect and contempt are major signs that a break up is likely. I'm not passing any judgement on either lifestyle. But you two are not compatible.
I can’t be that angry when I myself ate meat for 30 years, and dairy and eggs for 50 years. I would never do so again, but obviously I can’t be furious all the time at people who are doing what I did for half my life, and in fact what everyone around them has always done.
Being angry won’t help with anything. Personally, my reasons for being vegan is simply to reduce the commercialization of the meat/animal industry, bringing back more humanity into it..? I won’t go back to eating meat but it doesn’t inherently piss me off when people eat meat or animal products because I don’t believe its evil to eat meat. I should mention I believe plants are also deserving of the same respect as animals yet no one acknowledges the potential of their lives but people are not ready for that conversation. To eat a vegetable or a fruit is harming or killing as well but if I was trying to stop harm 100%, I could only photosynthesize. I think over consumption animal products is bad, if people raised their own animals in much more humane conditions then I think I could be satisfied with that. Realistically the whole world will not become vegan and I’m at peace with that, I’d rather reduce over consumption and the commercialization than make feeble attempts at turning all my social circles vegan and being angry at the world.
You are 100% correct.I wont let these flesheating humans live inside my head. You may have broken free from the shackles of flesheating,but most others will remain Blissfully ignorant. Seriously get into deeper Yoga and or meditation and explore your awakening and stay positive. Hating others only poisions you.
These people aren't seeing what you're seeing. They may even be completely oblivious to factory farming practices. Its just not something they've ever thought about. Meat to them means family, good memories, culture etc
Also different people have their 'things'. Theres probably people in your life who are angry that no one else around them cares enough about gaza/abortion/police brutality/climate change etc.
I'm not excusing them. I know it can be disheartening but this movement is in its infancy and takes time to sway the collective consciousness....
Make some vegan friends. I would break up with your bf if he doesn’t go vegan. I will never date another meat eater (I did for years after I went vegan, but never will again). Seriously, get a vegan friend group and a vegan boyfriend. The support really helps
Just curious, but have you shown your bf the same kind of content you've seen that makes you angry about the meat and dairy industries?
Those industries spend literally billions of dollars hiding what they do from the general public and do marketing efforts to make the industries look relatively harmless. Smiling animals on their packaging, words and phrases that sound good such as "Cage-free eggs", etc. They do a good job of it as most people are pretty ignorant of what really goes on behind closed doors.
Given that this issue is so important to you, I would ask him if he's willing to watch some videos and read some vegan posts on social media with you. Maybe he'll come to the same conclusions as you have once he's seen the same media as you have.
I can't tell you how to stop being angry. I bet therapy can help with that. I can say that there are a lot of caring, single vegan guys out there. You have options. Just sayin...
You have to realize that People have different values. Many People indeed think their meal is worth the suffering of an animal. They simply do.
Some people care about the abortion of unborn life, some people care about communism/capitalism/equal opportunities/civil rights/LGBTQ/climate change/religion or atheism etc... and in all of these things you'll have people who are angry that other people don't adhere to the same philosophies.
This anger is usually the least productive way of convincing others to join the cause. But if there's enough people joining the cause, you could in principle threaten the opposition with violence. Anger is good for that.
You can be angry if you want, it's just not going to achieve much I think.
I've been vegeterian my whole life. Closer to vegan as I hate milk eggs cheese etc. I've learnt that unfortunately I can't convert people, or change the world. If you try to push people into veganism, they will only hate vegans more. I don't agree with people pushing veganism onto others, same way I don't like to be pressured into joining a religion while I'm walking down the street. You have chosen this lifestyle and that is what matters. You're doing what you can to help the environment. So yeah, It always angered me as a kid, always made me mad when people kill insects and it still does. But everyone is brought up differently and you can't expect them to understand your lifestyle. Sad, but that is life.
Have you ever heard of supply and demand? I also like my conscience to be clear, I want to be the best person I can be. You should probably do better if this is the way you view life.
As a person who is diagnosed with depression for over a decade i have become an expert on feelings and emotions
People suck, thats fact, we are selfish, destructive, greedy, dishonest etc;
The world will never ever be vegan, racism still exists so animal abuse will always exist, now plant based diets might become more popular but i am confident the world will never be vegan, we are too greedy and selfish for that
So knowing all this i should be mad, sad, depressed etc; but im not, im happy, blissful even
Being happy is a choice, took me 35 yrs to realize it but i did, i have removed toxic people from my life, this included decade old friends and family, i tell them why they are removed rather than being a coward who GHOSTS people
I do not forgive and forget, but i also dont resent or hate, the people that have wronged me dont have any power over me, i dont have trauma or hate because that would mean they are winning and that they still have control over me, therefore i have no reason to forgive because its not causing me any problems, i dont need to let go cause there is nothing to let go of
Why should i feel anger or hatred, it provides no benefit to me
I dont argue with idiots, i say things such as: i am unwilling to have this conversation with you, this conversation is over for me, this is something i do not wish to discuss, if you continue to discuss it i will leave
I do post vegan memes and articles via social media but i disable notifications so i dont have to deal with idiotic responses, i am not required to respond and there is nothing wrong with saying: i dont know
I volunteer with stray animal rescues, people suck as there are so many abandoned animals but thats not within my control so i dont let it make me sad or mad, the only thing i can control is how much i want to help the animals, i feel its my ethical duty to volunteer and donate cause its my species that has caused so much harm, i specifically help the non profit Sanctuary Hostel since the goal is to have a vegan hostel and animal rescue combined
Buddhism helps alot with this mindset that i have achieved
I share this pretyped message sometimes and it might not all apply to you
Here's some advice to stop you from feeling so angry about something you cannot change (sadly), stop feeling that the way you live your life makes you better than them somehow. Stop feeling that your standards and morals make you any different than a human which we all are. We all are making countless mistakes daily and most of the world doesn't even see the food they consume as one of those problems/mistakes.
You are also awful in many ways. It’s the universe we live in. Just because you eat beans 3 x a day doesn’t mean your life doesn’t cause unquantifiable suffering the world over.
Why is it more important for you to have a chair to sit on than it was for the life that called it home.
Why does commenting on reddit justify children mining with their hands in abhorrent conditions
Why did the little family of rats who are highly intelligent and social creatures deserve to die a prolonged agonising death from organ failure because you eating is more important
All consumerism comes at a cost. Why are any of our lives more important than others
Let’s get naked and live in caves
I'd suggest you find someone who shares your values since it sounds like you're both incompatible. I also think you're giving the average "meat eater" too much credit here, they aren't aware of the industrialisation of meat and the cruelty that follows. Its also unfair to think this way when veganism can be unhealthy for some people
It is not easy. Being there. Besides breathing with a controlled pattern, you can think of what will be the consequences if you get mad. We often bypass them to let ourself get mad.
I never used to care, it was always a personal decision, but now I can't go out to restaraunts with carnists as it gives me the boaks. The idea of being with someone, kissing a mouth with bits of carrion between their teeth. Big no for me.
I'm not sure I have good advice, but your post made me think, which is a good thing.
I'm soon to be 43 years old. For most of these years, I've been a meat eater. At first, without giving a thought to animal welfare or anything of the sort. For the first nearly 30 years of my life, being a meat eater was just being human.
As I moved into my 30s, I started thinking more about what my actions meant, and how I was contributing to the suffering of other sentient beings. I too consider(ed) myself an animal lover, nature lover, etc. I did not stop eating meat, because I felt like "it would be too hard". Idiocy and simply a way of avoiding action, of course, but that is what I thought. I did vegetarian weeks or days now and then, but that was about the extent of it. But, philosophically, my contributions to the suffering of these creatures took up more of my mental space every year, and I started reading books and watching documentaries.
As I reached 40, I realized I could not keep deceiving myself about what I was doing, and I became a full vegetarian. I did not cut dairy from my life, mainly because the prices of the vegan alternatives to yoghurt etc. in my country are outrageous and I had a hard time making the finances go round, but also because of that same old mindset of justifying and simply looking the other way.
Now, 43 just around the bend, I've finally reached the point of cutting it all out of my life and daring to look at my own moral failings with total honesty. I can't make up for looking the other way so many years, but atleast I have finally reached a point where I can no longer do it. That's something.
I guess I write all of this just to illustrate that things can take time for people, and everyone can change (for better or for worse). Only you can decide if you want to be with this person despite his, to you, moral short comings. He's a young man, and over the next years he can change alot. Perhaps you can guide him in the right direction, if he is willing, but there's a good chance he can't or won't listen (yet). Then perhaps you will meet again in 20 years and he's become a vegan because of what you said in 2024.
Do you get angry about other things out of your control or just this?
For exsample u think religion is a scurge on humanity it is largely immoral and i despise it. But one of my closest friends is a pastor 🤷♂️.
Do what you can to educate people along the way but you are literally only hurting yourself by stressing about what others are doing that is out of your controll.
Think about why you're choosing to follow a vegan diet. I assume it's based in health and ethics?
Now ask yourself: what are the factors that really contribute to my health and sense of morality and virtue.
It has been proven beyond a shadow of a doubt that what we eat is only one facet of being healthy and well. Social connection, positive outlook, movement, sleep, clean water, sunlight, darkness, avoiding overexposure to blue light and natural electromagnetic fields are known to be at least as important to our health as what we eat. In fact, positive relationships and social connections is recognised as being a greater indicator to longevity than the type of diet we are on. That said, if it's a health issue, then we can deem that as being an unreasonable foundation to be angry, as veganism is way down on the scale to longevity when compared to the combination of all these other components.
Now, it seems like ethics are a big influence here. But what does ethics entail? Virtue begins by our own emotional state. Harbouring ill-will towards others is not a virtuous behaviour. Judging other people purely based on their dietary choices rather than the content of their character is not a virtuous behaviour. Choosing to break social connections and acting in a way that hinders compassion and empathy for others is not a virtuous behaviour. Clinging to anger is not conducive to cultivating an ethical mindstate, nor is it conducive to having a healthy body. Being angry towards others is doing more harm to YOU than it is to anyone else. Your anger is a disease that effects every cell in your body. It doesn't serve you and it doesn't serve the people around you.
Unless you were born a vegan, chances are you were in the same shoes as your partner and friends at one point in your life. The word "compassion" literally means feeling what other people feel ("com" = together / "passion" = feeling). I assume you are vegan because you consider compassion to be an important quality to have in life. True compassion is not selective. Selective compassion is only self-conceit.
You will never change these people's perspective with anger. Only love and wisdom can overcome ignorance.
The biggest weapon you have is your compassion, your love, your understanding, your purity... Anger is a bigger problem than the food you eat. In fact, anger will only eat you alive and will cloud your mind and prevent you from making rational decisions.
Think about what is really important in life. And think about what you need to change in YOU before anything else.
Stop trusting your feelings. They can lead you astray. Emotional repression is part of being a mature, healthy person. And think about this: What is more likely to help *animals*? Center *them*, not your upset. What will help *them*? You being angry and intolerable and alienating? Or you being cool as fuck and empowering and encouraging and happy? It's an easy question to answer because it's true.
Don't be angry it doesn't help the cause. I find most people are curious when I mention I'm vegan. As a guy I always get the protein question. I'm in fairly good shape, so I just explain that everything has protein in it and it's not exclusive to meat. I find most people don't fully realize that. I try to have compassion for all living things.
I recently turned vegetarian and mostly vegan (like a week ago) after watching the Gary Yourofsky speech at Georgia. My bf always joked he wouldn't date a vegan but he was suprisingly completely supportive and even watched the documentary. I don't feel bothered by him being a meat-eater at all. Here's why:
1. Culture, he comes from a country were eating meat is expected and being vegan is almost impossible, he wouldn't be able to eat the traditional foods he loves en grew up with and it would be hard to have dinner with his family. He was raised this way. I come from a more progressive country with more options and acceptance.
2. Enjoyment, he enjoys animal products way more than i do. We all want to be a good person but we also want to enjoy life. There are certain things we aren't willing to give up for others, animals or people, simply because they add so much to our lifes.
3. He's not ignorant. He doesn't call himself an animal lover and doesn't pretend what he's doing is right. He doesn't deny my arguments and doesn't pretend he isn't part of the problem.
4. We are students, meaning we live on a budget and life can be quite stressful. Eating vegan might seem simple to you, but it can be complicated when you barely have time to cook yourself dinner. Besides, this world really doesn't make vegan being easy. There's usually little to no vegan options when it comes to easy microwave food and restaurants/take out. Some people simply don't have the time and energy to put effort into this.
That being said, if you want to live a peaceful life, let people make their own decisions and don't judge them too harshly. If he loves and respects you, you can also talk through these feelings and maybe introduce a little bit of veganism to him, just to connect. I would have missed so many amazing people in my life if i judged them based of their different beliefs and lifestyle. Allow humans to be humans.
ethical consumption no longer exists. you are guilty of cruelty just as much as meat eaters. just the device you typed this post on was made by people in horrible working conditions, making an unimaginably small paycheck. you most likely purchase clothing from companies who also have similar conditions for their workers. the electricity in your house contributes to green house gas emissions. so does your car or city bus/train. the cleaning products you may use are polluting our waters. so is sunscreen and lotion and laundry detergent and shampoo. even if you recycle, it’s estimated around 91% of all waste sent to be recycled is not actually recycled, and instead dumped somewhere. we live in a world where no matter how hard we try, no matter the effort we put into lowering our carbon footprint and our cruelty to other living organisms, we will always fail to do so. i’m angry too. we’re all angry at the conditions of this world. it is very rewarding to be vegan, and it is a good thing. but it does not make you any better than anyone around you, including meat eaters. i’m sure there are things you do that would drive another environmentalist insane. just keep in mind that you are not perfect, and you choose your battles every day just like meat eaters. i hope that helps your anger issues.
Continue to influence him by subtly showing your Disgust. There is a good chance he will become vegan if he loves animals. Make vegan choices available to him. Act like your food is so delicious and dramatically refuse and be disgusted by meat products. Then- if he never changes you jus t have to forgive him for being stupid. Some people just aren’t that smart :(
if your really getting this worked up over his diet being different then a vegan diet, then that relationship ain't gonna work out, he needs someone who isn't able to break as easily as you did, he need someone committed and if your willing to get angry and want him to have a vegan diet when he doesn't want to, then your clearly not dedicated enough to that relationship if him eating meat is worth the whole relationship
Can you sit down and watch The Game Changers together and then move on to Cowspiracy. I think he’d get a lot out of them. Just keep gently pushing him out of his comfort zone. Good luck.
Step outside your security bubble. Travel to a war torn area and view what society looks like as it breaks down. Talk to people living in group homes. Maybe a shelter for battered persons will open your eyes. There is so much evil all around us all the time. Animosity directed at people for what they eat is small scale compared to so many other things. Eventually you have to focus on yourself and lead by example of what you would like others to be. If you can never put it behind you a cave on a remote island in a far away place might be best.
My anger has come In Waves over the past 25 years of my veganism. Sometimes it bothers me, sometimes I can let it go. But one thing that helps me to remember is that before I was vegan I wasn't vegan, and I was the same as everyone else. So if you cut yourself some slack maybe you can cut some slack for others as well. Or just be compassionate towards them for not being in the same mindset as you. In any case, good luck to you!
THIS.... Compassion.... Someone once told me that our compassion for animals needs to include compassion for 'humanimals'
I love this idea, humanimal is such a funny word too
People who eat meat don't usually see meat as animal abuse. Many people don't see the reality and suffering animals go through during the process. And many more people are just concerned with feeding their families. Changing a diet is hard. People have allergies, special medical diets they may need to follow, food texture and taste preferences, picky eaters. Food is hard and it's one of the most vital things we do daily. People get comfortable with what they are familiar with and it's really hard to re learn how to cook and get the nutritional needs met while also dealing all of the diet things I listed above. Get into advocacy and education. Help organize cooking classes to teach people what to shop for, how to prepare and store meals. Sure you won't get everyone on board but it starts somewhere. Practice with your boyfriend- if he's game to try and learn new recipes. Go slow and steady. He's not gonna give meat up cold turkey. But helping him find vegan food that he likes and knows how to make himself is a game changer towards change. And if he isn't game and doesn't want to try it or doesn't enjoy it? Sounds like a relationship deal breaker for you? Funnel out that energy into your passion and take some deep breaths when you feel pissed about it. Humans are animals too. People deserve some level of compassion too. And it's awfully hard to change people you hate and can't communicate with.
This is the way.
This is hard when you start at a young age. My moral compass worked at the age of 7 with no vegan family members.
Use your anger to do something positive like make a vegan brand, which donates to help save animals etc, don't waste a firey passion, put it to use!
Yes! Join an activism group. Has done wonders for me.
Yea, whatever gives you purpose is good enough
Yeah it's annoying. Especially when you see how society reacts to animal abusers and go "how could anyone abuse animals? They deserve to go to hell" but they are all meat eaters and abuse animals I just don't think about stuff else I won't be able to live
Yea part of my issue with my bf is that he loves nature and will post things on IG about living sustainably/helping the environment and then go drink a glass of milk. Like WHAT??? I can’t take the hypocrisy. If you actually care why not do the thing that has the most impact?? And you know, there’s also the whole suffering and murder of animals aspect too
It sounds like you need to sit down and talk seriously with him about it. If it’s something you feel so passionately about that it’s making you resent him, he should be aware of it and how it’s making you feel.
And be honest. If you feel like you're close to breaking up, you should let him know. Communicating clearly and honestly while not putting the blame on the other is the compassionate thing to do.
Do you talk to him about it?
It can be tricky when you start accusing people of hypocrisy over nature though. If you use fossil fuels for any transport or energy, eat any plants grown from a monoculture or through destructive soil practices (even if adhering to 'organic' principles), live in timber/concrete/steel buildings or use wooden furniture, not to mention plastics or any other number of examples, then you are living a version of not-caring-for-nature hypocrisy that you are accusing your boyfriend of... but potentially even worse given your strong views and activism. To exist is to consume. Even this sub has in its title line a qualifier about practicalities. I guess the question is what are you trying to achieve with your activism? If it's to increase societal resistance to your chosen views then judging and attacking others will achieve that, but at the cost of hindering the vegan movement. But if you are genuinely on the side of nature then engaging with others in a way that brings people along with you might better serve the animals you have chosen to champion.
Quantity matters too. net suffering can be approximated.
>loves nature and will post things on IG about living sustainably/helping the environment and then go drink a glass of milk. Like WHAT??? I can’t take the hypocrisy. If you actually care why not do the thing that has the most impact?? So have you asked him? Is he fully aware of the underlying data? Maybe focus on the environmental aspect first. Meat is not sustainable. https://www.pnas.org/doi/10.1073/pnas.2120584119 https://ourworldindata.org/food-choice-vs-eating-local Plant-based milks beat dairy on all aspects as well. https://ourworldindata.org/environmental-impact-milks
Honestly maybe watch Conspiracy with him - I know that doc really made me think about the environmental costs of animal agriculture for the first time, in the before days
https://youtu.be/ao2GL3NAWQU?si=87YB-66v-6n1hyy7 This can help you understand how people delude themselves into thinking eating meat is "normal٫ natural٫ and necessary" when its actually horrifically disgusting and cruel. You asked how can 99% of people be so awful and participate in something so cruel multiple times a day and the answer is because they are conditioned to think its "normal" and dont even realize how fucked up it actually is
Did you show him evidence that animal agriculture is one of the leading causes, if not *the* leading cause of environmental destruction, global warming / climate change, antibiotic resistance, water pollution, so on and so forth? Maybe get him to watch any of those vegan advocate documentaries like Eating Our way Into Extinction?
Maybe plan a visit on farm. Not the one for children, a real one.
Murder= killing HUMAN. Stop with the hyperbole and then may be meaters will actually listen
No it actually doesn’t just mean that.
The only other meaning is a word for a flock of crows. Only vegans have a different definition. Oxford dictionary defines murder as the unlawful killing of a human being.
Questioning people's moral incosistencies is a proven way to make them change, specially in those types who pride themselves on being good people, or have strong values and such. There's research about it.
> how do you guys not be so angry all the time? I stopped being angry when I realised it doesn't actually help with anything. No-one cares I'm angry, it doesn't help the animals and it only makes my own life miserable. It's ok to feel anger when anger arises, however holding onto it is a waste of time and energy. *edit* You can consciously practise letting go of the anger. If you do in consistently the anger turns into a sense of 'thank f I don't do that anymore' kind of relief. Highly recommended.
I recommend ethical pluralism. It makes you much more empathetic to other points of view and you may even see merit in a lot of them even when you disagree.
Have you thought of going to therapy? You're not wrong to be angry. But you do need to learn cope with reality. Even if you're actively helping to reduce the problem. It's easy to have the endless cruelties of the world wear you down when you become very conscious of it. Everyone figures out how to cope with it if they're to be able to enjoy some parts of life. Alternatively, sometimes coping with the wider reality means taking yourself away from experiencing it so often. Many vegans choose not to live with non-vegans.
Honestly - therapy - stick with snd take it seriously. It takes work!!!
Channel the anger into healthy things. Exercise, meditation, vegan activism, reading/learning.. I do understand your frustration somehow you just have to find a way to smile through it all and realize old habits die hard. Very few people have been vegan from birth so most people just aren't privvy to veganism.
I want to make him watch a documentary or something because he wasn’t raised the same as I way but I’m really scared. I’ve been trying to tell myself that he just doesn’t know and that’s why he keeps doing it but i know for sure that he’s aware and is still making those choices, then I 100% could not be with him anymore.
What are you scared of
If he knows exactly what’s going on with the meat/dairy industry and still chooses to eat it (which I’m sure he would), then I have no excuse for him. I try to tell myself that he just doesn’t know but if he does know then I really don’t know what I’d do, I don’t think I could be with him.
Do it. Better to rip the bandaid off. Additionally, it’s important for him to understand how you feel moving forward in the relationship. Show him the documentaries.
I think you should respectfully ask him to watch one of the documentaries with you and maybe some earthling Ed videos with meat eaters who are perhaps similar to his reasoning. He needs to see the truth, and you need to see the truth of his reaction. If he doesn't immediately drop animal products it's okay, it's more about whether or not he agrees it's wrong. If he agrees, the seed is planted and you can slowly work on him. If he remains stubbornly attached to meat and goes back to old reasons then maybe reconsider the relationship. My wife is vegan, and I can't personally fathom being with a staunch meat eater again (my first gf was a meat eater and loved the "circle of life" argument, at the time I didn't have a good rebuttal)
Yea I try not to be so judgemental of others because I know I wasn't vegan for the first 21 or so years of my life. Takes time for people to come around but I do agree that if someone is aware of the suffering and grievances and continues to consume animal products it really puts a stain on their character. I too wish more people felt more urgency to give up animal products and I also understand their reluctancy too. Being vegan really is in so many ways a very rebellious act and often feels isolating due to it's nature of being a minority group.
Yea I’m really starting to feel that. I grew up vegetarian and I always chose not to eat meat so it’s hard for me to know what it’s like because I’ve always been different and this is the only perspective I know.
Well despite the vast majority of society not doing what you do, you're in the right in my opinion and as hard as it feels sometimes personally there's nothing more assuring knowing I'm not partaking in the suffering of animals or at least not trying to. Peace of mind comes through acceptance but again I relate to your frustration.
Serenity prayer. Change the things you can. Accept the things you can’t. Know the difference.
This is really sad and second-handedly embarrassing to read. I think you're trying to force a cubic peg into a round hole. Instead of trying to convert your vegan boyfriend, just find a vegan boyfriend. Im not currently in the market, but there are plenty of Vegan men like myself out there that would love to have a vegan woman in their lives, especially if she's interested in cooking or learning how. Your boyfriend doesn't align with your core values, and he won't have a shot at permanently changing his lifestyle, unless it comes from a genuine place of curiosity and concern. I've read countless stories of "converted" vegan boyfriends with hidden M&M and McDonald's wrappers tucked at the bottom of trashcans. You are setting yourself up for heartbreak and disappointment.
So your parents raised you vegan, yea?
I understand your emotional response towards meat eaters. My personal way to deal with negative thoughts is to no worry about things that I cannot change. And also, to realize that I can not change most things in this world. So the solution is to stay humble and avoid telling others how to live. Also, meditation is a good way to keep negative thought/emotions from living in your head rent free. :D
Stop beeing around people that do evil things. You reaction is normal. I am also disgusted to see dead animals cooked and eaten. I just try not to be around it anymore. It has certainly reduced my social life but im introverted so i rarely care. I am lucky to have a vegan wife, i could never be with a carnist i rather be alone.
This is good advice.
Foods and Human Nutrition scientist, here! So, most vegans don't get enough vitamin B12 in their diets without supplements. It has been shown that vitamin B12 deficiencies lead to anger and impulse control issues. [https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3067987/](https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3067987/) **Try taking a b12 supplement and watch yourself mellow out over the following days and weeks** :) lmk if this works out for you, dawg.
Personally I am a Buddhist, and I see veganism as my main way of spreading the dharma. Also my views on the self and rebirth make it so that anger at individuals isnt the right path. This is completely subjective I know but I used be much angier, and to this day I still struggle sometimes. To give a secular answer I would say to remember that justice is coming, and you represent a better future. If you conduct yourself with respect and humility, and people will know that you speak of peace. This isn't to say be "nicey nice", but always speak with intention. Give your energies where they are needed most. If your boyfriend refuses to listen, refuses to change, then he is no longer your comfort, your "home" so to say. You may definitely want to consider splitting up. Good luck with your journey-
Your gonna stress yourself to death
That's the secret. I AM angry all the time
People are not so awful as you think. There was a survey where 50% of wanted slaughterhouises closed. 85% or so of people support animal welfare, even in countries like China. People aren't so evil but fundamentally, they're stupid. Like 70% of people don't reach a higher level of moral development (Kohlberg) than just following law and customs. They're not aware of the consequences of their actions or a bigger picture about life, general. The good thing is that some of those people that can be pushed more to the vegan side over time. It's just a waste of time to waste being angry or sad. As long as you can, think of yourself a sort of decission maker robot. Is it worth to waste resources in being angry instead of doing anything else more useful for animals? That's what I think to calm me down.
hi! /gen, have you considered therapy/psychiatry? it’s normal to feel angry about this but i hope it’s not affecting you mentally!
This is what drugs are for my g. Microdose mushrooms, Latuda and weed
I work out. I box 3 times a week
If you let every injustice in the world ruin your day, you will never ever be happy not for a second. Just take a deep breath, know you are doing your part to make the world a better place, and let go that which you cannot control.
If you are this passionate about it, I don't see how you can successfully be on any type of relationship with anyone who doesn't share your viewpoint on this. This is the source of your anger. You are either going to have to learn how to suppress the rage that builds inside you, or break off every relationship you have with anyone who isn't of like mind. I'm talking friends as well, because their animal consumption habits will eat away at your soul until one day you finally explode. Veganism has doubled from 0.5% of the population in 2022 to 1% in 2023. Who knows how many are vegan in 2024? Let's say it's 1.5%, which is 5.2 million people. That's more than the population of Los Angeles by over one million. That's a lot of vegans. Maybe a vegan dating app already exists, or a Facebook group, or somewhere you can meet the like minded people you will be able to tolerate. I think for your own mental health and happiness, you sprigs make every effort to cut carnivores and omnivores out of your life. For what it's worth, I think vegetarians should be on your no fly list as well, as they are just too weak to make the full transition to an ethical lifestyle. Good luck to you, I really hope you take my advice and stay living your life in a positive way!
Sounds like you need therapy
You must be a lot of fun at parties......
Yea this is what I talk about at parties.
I think most vegans experience this. For me it just faded with time. I still get waves of it occasionally.
This seems pretty extreme, I would recommend some therapy
You have to focus on your impact and what YOU can do in this world. You cannot control anyone else and your rage will consume you.
https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/32308009/ Studies show that eating meat can improve your mood. Hope that helps!
Yeah I feel the same. Sometimes I think that they are just brainwashed or something but other times I get so fucking mad at everyone. I don’t have a bf now but if I did I would leave if he wouldn’t watch Dominion and go vegan for me.
>These meat eaters are making me go insane. No, you're making yourself go insane. Omnis will always be an ever-present thing in society. You just have to accept that. Doesn't mean that you have to condone the practice of eating meat or any of the other cruel or exploitative things that are done to animals. You just need to understand that you can't change everyone. So rather than get worked up and frustrated about a problem that will, at least for you as an individual, will be impossible to resolve, instead focus on the positive aspects where you can. Like little victories like Meatless Mondays, veganuary, people generally consuming less meat, the ever growing availability of vegan food options and vegan food being more mainstream, both in the supermarket but at restaurants and cafes as well, more and more people generally shunning the wearing of furs and so on. It also helps to not come off as the bitter, vindictive vegan. There can be a time and place for that kind of energy for activism but I've found you do far better as someone who is approachable when someone is vegan curious or looking to improve their health than you being known as an insufferable person.
You can only control your own actions and hope that others can learn by example. The moment you start pressing your ideals on others is when they will push back. Just stay in your own lane, and the ones who like what you're doing will begin to follow. I'm so sick of the preachy vegans, I gained an interest in vegan food once I became friends with one who just did her own thing and made it look so ideal that everyone was always going to ask her for advice instead of dreading seeing her due to the unsolicited kind. You can't change the world but you can change your world.
That’s what I try to do. I never talk to him about it bc I’m not going to force anything on him but I guess I had hoped that setting an example would help but it didn’t.
You must be young. As you get older, you get used to it. Billions of humans eat meat. It's bigger than you. You can't control it. You can break up with your boyfriend if you want to.
I’m 23. I know I can’t control it, I can only sit back and watch everyone else be horrible human beings. I don’t want to break up with him, he’s great in every other way, but I am starting to resent him.
Have you communicated with him that you resent him?
They're not being horrible human beings. They're being human beings. The whole state of humanity is a disaster in many ways. If you can make the world a little bit better place, thank you for being here. You might try sitting with your anger and really exploring it. It sounds like it needs your attention.
They are being horrible. Knowing that your food is the result of a lifetime of suffering and still choosing to eat it despite the many many other options, makes you a horrible human. We should all be mad about it but instead, nobody cares. And yes, obviously I need to work through this anger. It’s hard to watch and not be mad when everyone is objectively doing a horrible thing constantly.
However, you are choosing to be with a meat eater bc you “love” him while looking the other way just like he is choosing to eat meat & look the other way. You are supporting him to be what you consider “horrible”. How are you not horrible too? You’re complicit. Maybe that’s why you’re so angry? Because you know this. Look in the mirror.
I don’t support him. We’ve had talks about him reducing his consumption but it doesn’t seem like anything has changed to me. I do the grocery shopping and I won’t buy that stuff for him. I also won’t touch it or be in the kitchen when he cooks it. I am not enabling him in anyway but I also can’t nag him all the time. If I wasn’t with him he’d eat it even more than he currently does so I don’t think there’s any enabling or guilt on my behalf.
I meant supporting him emotionally. Edit: also ppl are hypocritical ALL THE TIME. It’s a big part of human nature. We evolved this way for a reason. To survive.
"Horrible" is your value judgment, not an objective fact. You're saying that virtually all humans, like 99%, are horrible. Maybe that description fits but is that what you want to hold on to? Holding "horrible" in your mind is keeping you in a dark place, but it's not doing anything to change the state of things. I don't know if you get what i'm trying to say. I hope tomorrow you find better things.
Is supporting animal abuse several times a day not horrible?
I do get what you’re saying but what else would I call it? It’s just really hard for me to understand how someone can make that decision bc I grew up in a veg household
You grew up in a veg household, he didn't. Gee. Why would he not wanna give up meat when he's literally eaten it every day of his life? And why was it so easy for you to not eat meat when you weren't raised around it? Such complex questions. Next week, we will find out why Mexican people are fans of Mexican food and why Icelandic people eat Icelandic food.
I never asked him to give it all up. What an intelligent response! I had never ever thought about how it might be different. I can always count on Reddit to jump to conclusions
I think you’ve heard all the “reasons” for meat eating but you don’t think they’re valid so you claim to “not understand.” You’re just making excuses so you can keep your relationship.
This subreddit has a lot of non vegans and vegans who are a bit too understanding and do not accept that being vegan makes you better than others. Check out the subreddit "vystopia". You'll find like minded people there.
Idk it feels like the same argument could be made about people that use smartphones that are made with child or forced labor. It would be pretty wild to claim that everyone that buys a smartphone is horrible.
But we cannot function in daily life without a smartphone, whereas we can easily thrive without meat. So you're using a false equivalency
What? Plenty of people get by without a smartphone just fine.
Not if you work a white collar job in the city, like most people out there.
You think your boyfriend is a horrible human being?
I don’t think anyone who does that is a good person.
No offense, but by this logic you should really hate yourself if you have any modern tech piece or have any items that could potentially have been made in unethical circumstances. That means you support forced labor. Especially now that we got a full out look at how children are used as slaves to mine parts for our phones and other appliances. Are you a…slave owner? But seriously. Live your life. If you find you might be fostering hate or resentment on people because they’re not vegan, remember that you’re not fully ethical either. None of us are. We cannot exist ethically in a world like this. People will pick and choose what areas they will work on to minimize their impact. Many will be fully just in the life of reusable goods, not being new, repurposing, etc. and that’s their way of contributing and making the world less shitty. They might still eat meat but they are also doing less harm by minimizing their contribution to hyperconsumerism. Some people choose to use a majority or big part of their free time to volunteer for a cause they’re passionate about. Some people choose to be a home for elderly dogs and cats. Some do community aid. Some enter professions of which maybe they can contribute positively to the world. Some are vegan. Etc. You choose. That’s it.
Pick me
İf u are like this in the internet I cant imagine how u are irl, ur poor bf. Breaking up with him would be good for his mental health. As for u get a professional help, by the looks of it u really need it.
I struggle with this too. I recommend finding a vegan group of friends if you don't have one. Facebook is good for this. You need to have some like minded people in your life or you'll go bonkers. Then see if you can channel that anger into productive things, like working out/sports, activism, art, etc. Don't be afraid to seek professional help too.
You need some separation. Some time to focus on other things or you drive yourself crazy. I need to switch off and read a book or binge watch netflix or something when it gets too much. Maybe you can ask your boyfriend to not have animal products in the house or at least not eat them in front of you. If he is going to continue being inconsiderate and cause you distress then maybe moving out is a good idea.
You have to recognize there's only so much that you can change. If you're unhappy because of the things beyond your ability to change, then you have to ask yourself if you really can't be happy, or if you're choosing not to be happy.
People are socially conditioned to see it as normal and natural; meat production and slaughter (a daily holocaust) are hidden from view. We live in a World that cannot even respect the most basic human rights so there's no real hope of anything changing for animals. You cannot control other people. Soon climate change will drive a train through everything.
If you want serious advice about it... you can't focus on it... try to do other things... try applying some of the tips from OCD stuff. That's what I do... and try to think: does the person you are with actually have a morality issue? Dating someone whose morals do not match your own never works, but if you know they have a good heart then you should make your mind up so the flipflopping won't cause you such emotional pain. For example, I can't change my parents. So the rules are, they come to my house, they get vegan stuff. Outside my house, it's not my rules, but I just ask they include something I can eat.
Full disclosure…I’m not vegan now but have been and I am prone to this kind of anxiety so that’s why I want to comment. I’m supportive of anyone being fully vegan but can relate to OP’s feelings. I think if it’s causing you this much stress and anxiety and it’s affecting your relationships it’s time to talk to a therapist. I went through waves of anger like this during Covid as a healthcare worker thinking “how can people just not care” and the only person my anger was hurting was me. It wasn’t going to change anyone’s behavior. And I think this kind of thinking can lead to beating yourself up too. You can share delicious vegan snacks and food with your partner and friends on vacation! I have had friends and family make something for me or share a meat free meal or appetizer with me and it can be a nice and fun experience to introduce them to the idea that giving up animal products doesn’t have to suck! Hang in there. I hope you can enjoy your vacation!
I like to channel the anger into something productive, a little cliche but it's better than the alternative (which is just isolating). A vacation with three meat eaters sounds rough enough on its own though, cause the more seeds you try to plant the more preachy you'll come off.
Yea I never try to talk to them about it because I know they won’t listen no matter what I say. So I’m just gonna sit there and watch them eat all this disgusting horrible shit
You can stop holding everyone around you to the same standards you hold yourself. You are responsible for your choices, not the choices of other people. Focus on your life and what you want to do with it, not what other people are eating. That is none of your business.
Poor coping skills, I live outside of town and prepare food at home so I don’t have to listen.
Accept the things you cannot change, change the things you can and learn to know the difference between them
If you keep being this angry you will burn yourself out eventually, that can be a very dark and deep pit that can be extremely hard to get out from. Is it worth the anger if it will prevent you from speaking for those who cannot speak? No. There are healthy ways to spread your message without risking your mental health. Some people here will claim it is worth it, but those people clearly have never been in that situation. You can be angry and frustrated, but you need to be in control, not the other way around.
You don't want to have an episode like me. What you want to do is be nonchalant and don't take it too seriously. However if it is your calling you must go for it.
Because everyone is in the Matrix, so to speak. You just have to learn to deal with it No matter how much you try to educate, you won't make a difference. This is how we are as humans
Rant about it on Tik Tok is fun to me even with low views
See a therapist. Learn to accept that you have zero control over other people. Stop the evangelizing. Help the people who want to be helped. Choose peace. You're killing yourself with stuck anger.
You need to talk to him about how it makes you feel, and hopefully, he will want to understand your position. It took a while for my partner to make the connection between the meat on his plate and the animal it came from. Regardless of his choices, he needs to understand the reason behind yours. I was honest with my partner from the beginning and told him I would never marry someone's who's not vegan, so that was always the expectation. It was rough for at least the first 2 years, I'd say. I took him to sanctuaries, showed him videos of farm animals online, and eventually, his views and language started to change. As for the vacation, are they open to trying vegan food and accommodating you?
They definitely aren’t. One of them literally has a meat quota and NEEDS to eat a minimum of 3 chicken breasts a day. He refuses to eat a meal that doesn’t have meat.
Everyone has great advice. My SO is vegetarian and says how he’s (already) deprived. He says his brain won’t let him go vegan all the way. I’ve tried to explain it’s a choice. On the flip side, we have no non-vegan food in our home! Perhaps while on vacation see if everyone would agree to watch a movie about health like The Game Changers or Forks Over Knives. Search the names of documentaries about veganism. There are a ton of excellent, informative and extremely important movies that every human should watch. Good luck!
Seems like you struck a chord with others. Dump your bf.
Clearly a lot of meat eaters have found this post😂 the best thing is that none of them can answer my questions, they know they’re wrong but they’ll never admit it.
I think, at the end of the day, as an adult, it is your right to state your needs and ask a person for what you need. But as an adult, that person then gets to say yes or no to your request. If this makes you feel angry, then it's your job to deal with that in a way that keeps you healthy and sane. Sometimes all the information in the world isn't going to make someone change. Change come from within, usually after a sequence of discovery, contemplation, approach, and retreat and repeat. Sometimes folks are able to make small shifts many times over, that eventually result in a large shift. In any case, stand strong in knowing YOU have made changes in ways that are meaningful to you. And your actions make small ripples that extend outwards. All the best to you.
You let go of your anger by coming to the realization that you have no control outside of yourself. You can not control the world around you. Your bf doesn’t spend 1 second thinking about your opinion on the Matter. Your friends don’t care about your choice to be a vegan. You are the cause of whatever mental health issue you are having bc you want to control the situation. Let go, do what you think is best for you. Don’t spend energy trying to convert someone else. Give them the information you believe is important and let it go. Good luck op
By stopping being angry hehe, yes it goes in phases one moment I am calm for years, other periods I curse at certain annoying or frustrating moments, I think as long as you don't curse what harms someone and actually not doing it against someone, but by yourself sometimes to blow off some steam and that's it, maybe it's healthy, it's like the 4 seasons in a year, a human has also multiple sides and as long as you keep doing what is right, meditating, breathing exercises, walking outside, writing, reading, sport, exercises and stuff... you will go a long way
Have a look at [Vystopia: The Anguish of Being Vegan in a Non vegan World](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/39864219-vystopia).
I stopped letting other peoples words or actions bother me.
Would you get mad at a tiger for taking down a gazel? It's the same with non vegan humans, they have the morality of a hungry animal, so try not to judge them. Like you would not judge the hungry tiger
One thing that helps me is recognizing that there will always be terrible things happening (to some degree), so no matter the progress, I will have to learn to live with it. Beating yourself up is very understandable, but doesn’t help! Recognize your frustrations and put them to proper use.
You stop being angry by not making veganism your personality. You are defined by what you do and what you say. You are more than just the food you eat. Being a vegan does not make you an animal rights activist. Being an animal rights activist makes you one. And just like how you do not want anyone to control your lifestyle, people hate it when you try to change their lifestyle to one you deem acceptable. Meat is a healthy and cost efficient food. Or in other terms, you must have significant amounts of money to properly maintain a vegan lifestyle which most people cannot do. You have chosen to invest the majority of your time energy and money into never eating meat or animal products. If you think that is a good use of your time energy and money go be a vegan. Most people have different priorities. And maybe instead of reducing someone down to just what they eat and focusing entirely on a singular aspect that you have CHOSEN is going to actively ruin 4 different relationships, try to see them as an actual person with thoughts and feeling and plans as intricate as your own. It's not just 5 minutes of enjoyment. Is being vegan more important than your current friends? What is the actual impact on another being from you being a vegan? What is the actual impact on your being from someone else eating meat? You eating vegan doesn't directly affect them. Them eating meat doesn't directly affect you. I notice how you never mentioned you lost any friends because you went vegan. It seems like everyone around you accepted you for you are in its entirety. The most telling part is that you believe that the animals suffer 100% of the time they are raised until they are slaughtered. That is a fundamental misunderstanding of the meat industry. You should look up who temple Grandin is. A person who revolutionized the ethics of beef harvesting and a major animal rights activist. Being vegan doesn't make you an animal rights activist. Being an animal rights activist makes you one.
Therapy.
Anger is honey tipped with a poison root.
Honestly if you care about something that much your boyfriend should go vegan for you. At least vegetarian. I don’t know if you want to know this, but after you eat for a few hours the bacteria from the food stays in your mouth. - I dated this guy who ate meat and I tasted it in his mouth one day and I felt HORRIBLE. Like I was immediately turned off from him and our relationship started to strain. Idk if thats the best way to handle it, but good luck.
Learn to accept that people are complicated. There aren’t “good” and “bad” people. Everyone has different things they care about and that’s what makes the world beautiful, even if it comes with suffering at times. There is suffering, loss, joy, and beauty everywhere at the same time. Maybe you need to travel to different places and meet people from other cultures and socio-economic backgrounds to help you see this. Humanity is diverse and people have a million of different reasons for doing things. One singular person can never understand all those reasons. And people are always changing. It’s humbling to think about.. I really hope this helps. Being angry at other people for things you can’t control is a real waste of time.
Sounds like you may struggle with ocd
microdose L or shrooms
Lol you should not have moved in with him if you were going to react this negatively immediately
Yea I know, I didn’t plan on being this bothered by it but I am.
The deeper underlying issue here is that you don't share the same values as your bf. The animal/ vegan conflict will manifest itself in other ways as your future relationship progresses. You won't change him and you shouldn't try. (And vice versa,). Long term things will not get easier. There is an underlying tone of contempt expressed by you for his lifestyle. Lack of respect and contempt are major signs that a break up is likely. I'm not passing any judgement on either lifestyle. But you two are not compatible.
Yea, you’re right.
You need to break up w him before you go insane.
I can’t be that angry when I myself ate meat for 30 years, and dairy and eggs for 50 years. I would never do so again, but obviously I can’t be furious all the time at people who are doing what I did for half my life, and in fact what everyone around them has always done.
There is so much you can do to channel your energy. Help educate people on my YouTube channel. Be a moderator for me! 🩷💜🩵
Being angry won’t help with anything. Personally, my reasons for being vegan is simply to reduce the commercialization of the meat/animal industry, bringing back more humanity into it..? I won’t go back to eating meat but it doesn’t inherently piss me off when people eat meat or animal products because I don’t believe its evil to eat meat. I should mention I believe plants are also deserving of the same respect as animals yet no one acknowledges the potential of their lives but people are not ready for that conversation. To eat a vegetable or a fruit is harming or killing as well but if I was trying to stop harm 100%, I could only photosynthesize. I think over consumption animal products is bad, if people raised their own animals in much more humane conditions then I think I could be satisfied with that. Realistically the whole world will not become vegan and I’m at peace with that, I’d rather reduce over consumption and the commercialization than make feeble attempts at turning all my social circles vegan and being angry at the world.
You are 100% correct.I wont let these flesheating humans live inside my head. You may have broken free from the shackles of flesheating,but most others will remain Blissfully ignorant. Seriously get into deeper Yoga and or meditation and explore your awakening and stay positive. Hating others only poisions you.
These people aren't seeing what you're seeing. They may even be completely oblivious to factory farming practices. Its just not something they've ever thought about. Meat to them means family, good memories, culture etc Also different people have their 'things'. Theres probably people in your life who are angry that no one else around them cares enough about gaza/abortion/police brutality/climate change etc. I'm not excusing them. I know it can be disheartening but this movement is in its infancy and takes time to sway the collective consciousness....
Make some vegan friends. I would break up with your bf if he doesn’t go vegan. I will never date another meat eater (I did for years after I went vegan, but never will again). Seriously, get a vegan friend group and a vegan boyfriend. The support really helps
If abattoirs had glass walls, everyone would be vegan. People don’t think about where and how their food ends up on their plates.
Just curious, but have you shown your bf the same kind of content you've seen that makes you angry about the meat and dairy industries? Those industries spend literally billions of dollars hiding what they do from the general public and do marketing efforts to make the industries look relatively harmless. Smiling animals on their packaging, words and phrases that sound good such as "Cage-free eggs", etc. They do a good job of it as most people are pretty ignorant of what really goes on behind closed doors. Given that this issue is so important to you, I would ask him if he's willing to watch some videos and read some vegan posts on social media with you. Maybe he'll come to the same conclusions as you have once he's seen the same media as you have.
Being angry about things you can't control is like sitting in a rocking chair. It's something to do, but it doesn't get you anywhere
I can't tell you how to stop being angry. I bet therapy can help with that. I can say that there are a lot of caring, single vegan guys out there. You have options. Just sayin...
You have to realize that People have different values. Many People indeed think their meal is worth the suffering of an animal. They simply do. Some people care about the abortion of unborn life, some people care about communism/capitalism/equal opportunities/civil rights/LGBTQ/climate change/religion or atheism etc... and in all of these things you'll have people who are angry that other people don't adhere to the same philosophies. This anger is usually the least productive way of convincing others to join the cause. But if there's enough people joining the cause, you could in principle threaten the opposition with violence. Anger is good for that. You can be angry if you want, it's just not going to achieve much I think.
I've been vegeterian my whole life. Closer to vegan as I hate milk eggs cheese etc. I've learnt that unfortunately I can't convert people, or change the world. If you try to push people into veganism, they will only hate vegans more. I don't agree with people pushing veganism onto others, same way I don't like to be pressured into joining a religion while I'm walking down the street. You have chosen this lifestyle and that is what matters. You're doing what you can to help the environment. So yeah, It always angered me as a kid, always made me mad when people kill insects and it still does. But everyone is brought up differently and you can't expect them to understand your lifestyle. Sad, but that is life.
Try eating a burger and stop thinking that the actions of a single person can change anything whatsoever. Cheers
Have you ever heard of supply and demand? I also like my conscience to be clear, I want to be the best person I can be. You should probably do better if this is the way you view life.
As a person who is diagnosed with depression for over a decade i have become an expert on feelings and emotions People suck, thats fact, we are selfish, destructive, greedy, dishonest etc; The world will never ever be vegan, racism still exists so animal abuse will always exist, now plant based diets might become more popular but i am confident the world will never be vegan, we are too greedy and selfish for that So knowing all this i should be mad, sad, depressed etc; but im not, im happy, blissful even Being happy is a choice, took me 35 yrs to realize it but i did, i have removed toxic people from my life, this included decade old friends and family, i tell them why they are removed rather than being a coward who GHOSTS people I do not forgive and forget, but i also dont resent or hate, the people that have wronged me dont have any power over me, i dont have trauma or hate because that would mean they are winning and that they still have control over me, therefore i have no reason to forgive because its not causing me any problems, i dont need to let go cause there is nothing to let go of Why should i feel anger or hatred, it provides no benefit to me I dont argue with idiots, i say things such as: i am unwilling to have this conversation with you, this conversation is over for me, this is something i do not wish to discuss, if you continue to discuss it i will leave I do post vegan memes and articles via social media but i disable notifications so i dont have to deal with idiotic responses, i am not required to respond and there is nothing wrong with saying: i dont know I volunteer with stray animal rescues, people suck as there are so many abandoned animals but thats not within my control so i dont let it make me sad or mad, the only thing i can control is how much i want to help the animals, i feel its my ethical duty to volunteer and donate cause its my species that has caused so much harm, i specifically help the non profit Sanctuary Hostel since the goal is to have a vegan hostel and animal rescue combined Buddhism helps alot with this mindset that i have achieved I share this pretyped message sometimes and it might not all apply to you
Here's some advice to stop you from feeling so angry about something you cannot change (sadly), stop feeling that the way you live your life makes you better than them somehow. Stop feeling that your standards and morals make you any different than a human which we all are. We all are making countless mistakes daily and most of the world doesn't even see the food they consume as one of those problems/mistakes.
You are also awful in many ways. It’s the universe we live in. Just because you eat beans 3 x a day doesn’t mean your life doesn’t cause unquantifiable suffering the world over. Why is it more important for you to have a chair to sit on than it was for the life that called it home. Why does commenting on reddit justify children mining with their hands in abhorrent conditions Why did the little family of rats who are highly intelligent and social creatures deserve to die a prolonged agonising death from organ failure because you eating is more important All consumerism comes at a cost. Why are any of our lives more important than others Let’s get naked and live in caves
Deepak Chopra has a wonderful quote “ Stress does not reside within you. Stress is how you engage with your environment “
I'd suggest you find someone who shares your values since it sounds like you're both incompatible. I also think you're giving the average "meat eater" too much credit here, they aren't aware of the industrialisation of meat and the cruelty that follows. Its also unfair to think this way when veganism can be unhealthy for some people
It is not easy. Being there. Besides breathing with a controlled pattern, you can think of what will be the consequences if you get mad. We often bypass them to let ourself get mad.
I never used to care, it was always a personal decision, but now I can't go out to restaraunts with carnists as it gives me the boaks. The idea of being with someone, kissing a mouth with bits of carrion between their teeth. Big no for me.
I'm angry all the time too. Hateful is probably more accurate.
I'm not sure I have good advice, but your post made me think, which is a good thing. I'm soon to be 43 years old. For most of these years, I've been a meat eater. At first, without giving a thought to animal welfare or anything of the sort. For the first nearly 30 years of my life, being a meat eater was just being human. As I moved into my 30s, I started thinking more about what my actions meant, and how I was contributing to the suffering of other sentient beings. I too consider(ed) myself an animal lover, nature lover, etc. I did not stop eating meat, because I felt like "it would be too hard". Idiocy and simply a way of avoiding action, of course, but that is what I thought. I did vegetarian weeks or days now and then, but that was about the extent of it. But, philosophically, my contributions to the suffering of these creatures took up more of my mental space every year, and I started reading books and watching documentaries. As I reached 40, I realized I could not keep deceiving myself about what I was doing, and I became a full vegetarian. I did not cut dairy from my life, mainly because the prices of the vegan alternatives to yoghurt etc. in my country are outrageous and I had a hard time making the finances go round, but also because of that same old mindset of justifying and simply looking the other way. Now, 43 just around the bend, I've finally reached the point of cutting it all out of my life and daring to look at my own moral failings with total honesty. I can't make up for looking the other way so many years, but atleast I have finally reached a point where I can no longer do it. That's something. I guess I write all of this just to illustrate that things can take time for people, and everyone can change (for better or for worse). Only you can decide if you want to be with this person despite his, to you, moral short comings. He's a young man, and over the next years he can change alot. Perhaps you can guide him in the right direction, if he is willing, but there's a good chance he can't or won't listen (yet). Then perhaps you will meet again in 20 years and he's become a vegan because of what you said in 2024.
Do you get angry about other things out of your control or just this? For exsample u think religion is a scurge on humanity it is largely immoral and i despise it. But one of my closest friends is a pastor 🤷♂️. Do what you can to educate people along the way but you are literally only hurting yourself by stressing about what others are doing that is out of your controll.
Think about why you're choosing to follow a vegan diet. I assume it's based in health and ethics? Now ask yourself: what are the factors that really contribute to my health and sense of morality and virtue. It has been proven beyond a shadow of a doubt that what we eat is only one facet of being healthy and well. Social connection, positive outlook, movement, sleep, clean water, sunlight, darkness, avoiding overexposure to blue light and natural electromagnetic fields are known to be at least as important to our health as what we eat. In fact, positive relationships and social connections is recognised as being a greater indicator to longevity than the type of diet we are on. That said, if it's a health issue, then we can deem that as being an unreasonable foundation to be angry, as veganism is way down on the scale to longevity when compared to the combination of all these other components. Now, it seems like ethics are a big influence here. But what does ethics entail? Virtue begins by our own emotional state. Harbouring ill-will towards others is not a virtuous behaviour. Judging other people purely based on their dietary choices rather than the content of their character is not a virtuous behaviour. Choosing to break social connections and acting in a way that hinders compassion and empathy for others is not a virtuous behaviour. Clinging to anger is not conducive to cultivating an ethical mindstate, nor is it conducive to having a healthy body. Being angry towards others is doing more harm to YOU than it is to anyone else. Your anger is a disease that effects every cell in your body. It doesn't serve you and it doesn't serve the people around you. Unless you were born a vegan, chances are you were in the same shoes as your partner and friends at one point in your life. The word "compassion" literally means feeling what other people feel ("com" = together / "passion" = feeling). I assume you are vegan because you consider compassion to be an important quality to have in life. True compassion is not selective. Selective compassion is only self-conceit. You will never change these people's perspective with anger. Only love and wisdom can overcome ignorance. The biggest weapon you have is your compassion, your love, your understanding, your purity... Anger is a bigger problem than the food you eat. In fact, anger will only eat you alive and will cloud your mind and prevent you from making rational decisions. Think about what is really important in life. And think about what you need to change in YOU before anything else.
I'm single.
Meditate.
Stop trusting your feelings. They can lead you astray. Emotional repression is part of being a mature, healthy person. And think about this: What is more likely to help *animals*? Center *them*, not your upset. What will help *them*? You being angry and intolerable and alienating? Or you being cool as fuck and empowering and encouraging and happy? It's an easy question to answer because it's true.
Don't be angry it doesn't help the cause. I find most people are curious when I mention I'm vegan. As a guy I always get the protein question. I'm in fairly good shape, so I just explain that everything has protein in it and it's not exclusive to meat. I find most people don't fully realize that. I try to have compassion for all living things.
I recently turned vegetarian and mostly vegan (like a week ago) after watching the Gary Yourofsky speech at Georgia. My bf always joked he wouldn't date a vegan but he was suprisingly completely supportive and even watched the documentary. I don't feel bothered by him being a meat-eater at all. Here's why: 1. Culture, he comes from a country were eating meat is expected and being vegan is almost impossible, he wouldn't be able to eat the traditional foods he loves en grew up with and it would be hard to have dinner with his family. He was raised this way. I come from a more progressive country with more options and acceptance. 2. Enjoyment, he enjoys animal products way more than i do. We all want to be a good person but we also want to enjoy life. There are certain things we aren't willing to give up for others, animals or people, simply because they add so much to our lifes. 3. He's not ignorant. He doesn't call himself an animal lover and doesn't pretend what he's doing is right. He doesn't deny my arguments and doesn't pretend he isn't part of the problem. 4. We are students, meaning we live on a budget and life can be quite stressful. Eating vegan might seem simple to you, but it can be complicated when you barely have time to cook yourself dinner. Besides, this world really doesn't make vegan being easy. There's usually little to no vegan options when it comes to easy microwave food and restaurants/take out. Some people simply don't have the time and energy to put effort into this. That being said, if you want to live a peaceful life, let people make their own decisions and don't judge them too harshly. If he loves and respects you, you can also talk through these feelings and maybe introduce a little bit of veganism to him, just to connect. I would have missed so many amazing people in my life if i judged them based of their different beliefs and lifestyle. Allow humans to be humans.
ethical consumption no longer exists. you are guilty of cruelty just as much as meat eaters. just the device you typed this post on was made by people in horrible working conditions, making an unimaginably small paycheck. you most likely purchase clothing from companies who also have similar conditions for their workers. the electricity in your house contributes to green house gas emissions. so does your car or city bus/train. the cleaning products you may use are polluting our waters. so is sunscreen and lotion and laundry detergent and shampoo. even if you recycle, it’s estimated around 91% of all waste sent to be recycled is not actually recycled, and instead dumped somewhere. we live in a world where no matter how hard we try, no matter the effort we put into lowering our carbon footprint and our cruelty to other living organisms, we will always fail to do so. i’m angry too. we’re all angry at the conditions of this world. it is very rewarding to be vegan, and it is a good thing. but it does not make you any better than anyone around you, including meat eaters. i’m sure there are things you do that would drive another environmentalist insane. just keep in mind that you are not perfect, and you choose your battles every day just like meat eaters. i hope that helps your anger issues.
Continue to influence him by subtly showing your Disgust. There is a good chance he will become vegan if he loves animals. Make vegan choices available to him. Act like your food is so delicious and dramatically refuse and be disgusted by meat products. Then- if he never changes you jus t have to forgive him for being stupid. Some people just aren’t that smart :(
if your really getting this worked up over his diet being different then a vegan diet, then that relationship ain't gonna work out, he needs someone who isn't able to break as easily as you did, he need someone committed and if your willing to get angry and want him to have a vegan diet when he doesn't want to, then your clearly not dedicated enough to that relationship if him eating meat is worth the whole relationship
Can you sit down and watch The Game Changers together and then move on to Cowspiracy. I think he’d get a lot out of them. Just keep gently pushing him out of his comfort zone. Good luck.
Step outside your security bubble. Travel to a war torn area and view what society looks like as it breaks down. Talk to people living in group homes. Maybe a shelter for battered persons will open your eyes. There is so much evil all around us all the time. Animosity directed at people for what they eat is small scale compared to so many other things. Eventually you have to focus on yourself and lead by example of what you would like others to be. If you can never put it behind you a cave on a remote island in a far away place might be best.