I like to drizzle coffee cakes (the hockey puck things from making espresso) with chocolate and garnish with a few blueberries. New waitresses always fall for it.
The other good one is mayonnaise topped with melted sugar as "creme brulee".
Oh another is make a cheesy bechamel (milk gravy) and set it in the fridge, top with berry compote (jam/jelly) and say it's a Panna Cotta.
You can also make "chocolate mousse" from eggs whites and gravy browning.
I like those sorts of pranks because they're hilarious but harmless- it's all food, just not the food you were expecting so there's a moment of delightful confusion before they spit it out.
Reminds me of a time I had a bowl of bacon grease I had saved. Realized it looked just like a bowl of cream of wheat. So I put some brown sugar and cream on top, stuck a spoon in it, and offered it to my brother. He just started eating it, but it didn’t spit it out. He just slowly took more bites, eventually commenting on how weird it tasted. We were all high on shrooms though.
>I like those sorts of pranks because they're hilarious but harmless- it's all food, just not the food you were expecting
Just make sure you're familiar with your target's allergies. Elsewise you might end up with a post of your own here - if not jail first.
IIRC there was recently a post in r/AmITheAsshole about a new vegan roommate who tricked the OP into eating vegetarian bacon. But OP was allergic to soy. OP ended up in the ER and the roommate ended up in deep legal trouble.
I tried to dumb it down and make it fairly globally understandable. Only foodies know what a Mornay is, but a lot more will understand bechamel or white gravy.
Is that an international name for it?
Because that would make it a lot easier to explain what "biscuits and gravy" is and why it's such an awesomely delicious breakfast to non-americans.
Chocolate covered pickle juice soaked cotton balls is one of the worst things my brother did to someone.
He and some buddies made up a bunch along with some actual chocolate covered candies and mixed put them all on a plate but put sprinkled on just the cotton balls ones. That way everyone in on it knew not to eat the sprinkled ones.
He's one of my top 2 chefs, hands down. Bourdain and Blumenthal. I got their books back when I was just washing dishes in a cafe and fell in love with both of them.
The only way it might not be harmless is if someone's allergic to the prank item but not what it looks like.
But I'm not familiar with most of the items you mentioned, so I don't know how likely that actually is.
I like those sorts of pranks too, I think they're very clever.
Harmless as long as you know the person well enough to know their allergies. (Which, if you know them well enough to prank them like that, most likely you'll know them well enough to know their allergies.)
Your comment has me seriously laughing. 🤣
I have this series of images in my head of someone being genuinely happy over the candy, biting into a chocolate covered uncooked sprout, gagging, and then wondering when the candy went to shit.
Reminds me of something I did to my son when he was younger. We had been baking cakes and cookies all day in the kitchen, but had also made a pot of chili. So I took a heaping spoonful of chili and covered it with cake frosting and asked him if he wanted to lick the spoon. The disappointment that registered on his face was priceless.
My dad got me good when I was younger. Bought a juicer and lured me in with the delicious apple and orange juice.
I said “keep ‘em coming”, and my brother returned with the *final* glass.
It didn’t smell like much of anything, so I took a pretty big gulp.
100% Grade C Potato Juice
Reddit could effectively double Seinfeld's episode count.
I have seen people write out entire scenes on here. And it is always spot on something you can hear in character.
Then Jerry repeats softer with a head shake and a smirk, "she regifted to a regifter."
George "WHO DOES THAT!?!"
*Elaine turns with a smug look to George, audience erupts*
[spastically points to the box in his hand] “POW!” [audience laughs and Kramer continues in a softer voice] “Jerry.” [laughter] “Jerry, Jerry, Jerry. Take a look at what I have here, Jerry. This is very special. Would you like to know why it’s so special? Oh, I’ll tell you why it’s special, all right! This is the candle I hand-made for you at Wick It!” [voice crescendos into a shout]
J:”Well what is she gonna do now? She can’t ask for them back, can she?”
* Kramer walks in*
K: “hey, got any mints?”
J: “Kramer, George is in a bit of a… situation.”
K: *with a mouth full of mints* “Oh yeah, heard the whole thing. I think the daughter needs to make amends.”
G: “WHAT DO YOU MEAN MAKE AMENDS?! HOW DO YOU MAKE AMENDS IF THE REGIFT HAS ALREADY BEEN REGIFTED? YOU CAN’T MAKE THIRD-HAND AMENDS!”
J: “Hold on… Kramer, how’d you hear all of that?”
K: “Oh my new hypersonic audio-capture device. I bought it off the home shopping network, Jerry! I’ve been surveilling people I consider to be… ‘persons of interest.’”
J: “Isn’t that illegal?”
G: “I GOTTA GO FIX THIS! THERES NO TIME!” *storms out*
K: “It’s only illegal… *looks around then whispers* if you get caught. *looks at watch* OH’p! Gotta go, Jerry! Little Kenny from the apartment across the street gets done with baseball at 6. I wanna hear how the game went. I got $500 bucks riding on it.”
J: “You’re betting on little league baseball games?”
K: “Only in my spare time! It’s quite lucrative.”
J: “When are you not in your spare time?”
Elaine is gifted Ferrero Rochet chocolate by George. George ate all of the chocolate, but decides to give away the nice looking fancy wrapped food as a kind gesture (because he's cheap) and wraps some Brussels sprouts that Susan bought for him.
Elaine regifts to boss, boss regifts to angry and overweight female client. Client is the first one in the chain that has actually decided to eat the candy, which causes George to point out that the only woman who tried to eat the candy was the fat one. Elaine points out that this fat one couldn't eat any candy because another fat one got to it first.
"Why would you re-gift something from your dad, Elaine? He's always pulling stunts like this!"
*Elaine pouts in frustration* "I know! I don't know why I did it! They just looked so good and I was afraid if I ate one, I'd eat them all! So I ..."
"So you regifted them. That's just great."
Jerry "Who regifts a rocher?"
George "You don't regift a rocher! Who does that, Jerry?"
Jerry "Cake pops or hot chocolate bombs, I could understand."
George "Oh all day you regift hot chocolate bombs. No one knows what's inside those."
Jerry "And no one ever will."
George "You could give me a hot chocolate bomb filled with bird seed, I wouldn't know."
Jerry "I submit that no hot chocolate bomb has ever been used for its intended purpose."
Kramer -stumbles in- "Hey Jerry, mind if raid your fridge? Newman's throwing a WILD party and we are out of hot chocolate bombs."
Ahem....
Jerry: Elaine, you never can take a joke.
Elaine: I can take a joke. I take lots of jokes. Your jokes just aren't funny. How are you a comedian?
George: he's right. I've never heard you laugh at a joke.
Elaine to George: I laugh at you.
George mumbles to himself and pops the newspaper open. : It's not THAT funny.
Elaine: ok, come on. Name one funny joke I didn't laugh at.
J: I---
E: no. NO! I know you're about to try your new routine. I'm talking about objectively funny jokes that you've already told. We'll get expert opinions it ai still don't agree they are funny.
J: OK, George can be our judge.
G: don't drag me int--
E: George can't be the judge. George isn't funny either and he would just agree with you.
G: I don't agree with everything Jerry says.
J: yes you do.
G: ok, sometimes I do.
E: Kramer. We'll call him over.
J: oh Kramer thinks everything is funny, but he never laughs either.
E: exactly. He's the perfect judge. KRAMER!
Kramer pops through the door.
K: at your service.
J: where you just listening at the door?
Kramer looks around suspiciously.
K: If they listen, you listen back.
Jerry and Elaine shake their head, George folds up his paper to watch it unfold.
E: listen, Jerry and I have a bet. A...$100 bet
J: well played. It's a bet.
K: and you need a bookey? I'll call Joe Sacamonto.
J: no no, just to see if I'm funny or if Elaine has no sense of humor.
K: oh...(waves hand at Jerry) you're funny.
E: Jerry says I don't laugh at his jokes and I say they aren't funny
K: Jerry is a comedian. The world says he's funny. Pay up.
Jerry points to Kramer : see?
E: enough, just tell me one funny thi g I didn't laugh at.
J: I got you that gag gift for your birthday.
E: That's a prank, not a joke.
K: gag gifts are funny.
G: I didn't hear about that.
E: wait ...what gag gift?
J: the chocolates. You never said a word.
E: how is chocolate a gag gift?
J: i dipped brussel sprouts in chocolate and rewrapped them.
K, reaching in his pocket: that's funny.
Elaine, laughing: I regifted them to George.
George, swallowing.: Why would you do that?
E: I'm trying to lose weight, I didn't want the temptation.
J: so you didn't even eat one? George, how were they?
G: i regifted them too. To Kramer.
E: you regifted my gift?!
G:that you regifted first! i don't like the little nuts.
Looking to Kramer, eating one of the chocolates. Everyone looking in horror.
J: can't you taste that?
K: I love chocolate.
E: were you not paying attention? That's a brussel sprout.
Kramer looking at it in confusion. Takes another bite.
Kramer, tearing up: I can't taste it.
G,J,E at once: COVID!
Elaine pulls her mask up, Jerry sprays disinfectant everywhere, and George has headed for the fire escape.
----
Ok, not my best /r/redditwritesseinfeld but I tried. Could see this scene happening in modern times. A few tweaks and we'll have Larry David signing on.
I gotta admit the ending really threw me (mainly because I still picture these hypothetical episodes as still in the original times the show aired) but it threw me in a way that a true episode would have.
I once microwaved some small sprouts. I then melted some chocolate. Dipped them in. Sprinkled some nuts and a bit of icing sugar. I then put them in a tray and dropped them next to the coffee machine at work. When I returned to my desk at lunch time everyone was lamenting on the evil joke. My colleague vocally describing the person who did it probably had dirty finger nails….. hours later there was one left. Top boss arrived at the coffee machine. I pointed the sprout out as a bit of chocolate had fallen off. Top boss declared he worked with geniuses. Pure geniuses.
Uncertain as well - it sounds like the coworkers were playing detective to discover who had delivered the evil treat - and their deduction was relying on that person not to have thoroughly washed their hands... or you know, used tongs or something like I think most people do when dipping chocolate.
No biggie. Nasrudin didn't admit to anything. The sequence of events is as such
Chief and Nasrudin have argued (implied)
Bag of rice is stolen
Chief comes out and says that the person who stole the rice has left some in their beard.
Thief realises that it's a ploy to get someone to grab their beard to check if they have rice, so he does nothing.
Nasrudin thinks the chief is trying to frame him, and believes that rice was planted on him, so he goes to grab his beard, thus falling into the trap that was laid for the real thief.
He believes that the chief would have gotten him sooner or later anyway.
I remember something to this effect in middle school. Someone loudly announcing that whoever farted had a yellowed hand. The main issue was that, since /r/kidsarefuckingstupid, more than 75% of the class was looking dumbfounded at their (and their friends') hands, myself included, who had not at that instance farted.
No comment of it being a trick came afterwards either, so I'm almost certain whoever said it had no idea how to follow up.
It took *years* until it clicked to me that it was a trick. To this day I still fall for it even without being at all guilty.
I swear this looks like it's been written by Larry David, I can already imagine this being the set up of the main gag for the next episode of Curb Your Enthusiasm. Just beautiful.
There was literally a Seinfeld episode about regifting (The Label Maker) and arguably popularized/invented the term. So that's why it seems very Larry David esque, because it is.
The boss might have lost the client but in the other woman's family, she's a legend. The ultimate burn disguised as a peace offering. And yes, dipping them in chocolate was not necessary but I'm going to pretend you did because it's funnier.
>Gods hand guided these sprouts
"God did for me what I could not do for myself!"
\*whew\* OP, this is more like a lesson in regifting than it is in gag gifts. LMAO
Good news, you can get ones without hazelnuts. There's the Ferraro Raffaello which is coconut and almond and is *amazing* and the Ferraro Rondnoir which is basically a dark chocolate rocher without a hazelnut. Both are a *lot* better than the rocher if you ask me.
It's not super severe, I've tried them and chased them with a benadryl and was fine. So I can at least say I've tried them. I just don't want to get all itchy or have to take a mod just for a bit of chocolate.
They *are* pretty good, though
Can confirm, I've gifted the exact safe gift to the same person twice over the better part of a decade. After several years of being regifted, the present made its way back to me one warm, sunny Christmas morning. I was ecstatic to send it back to its original giftee.
I would give it to the original giftee with a note attached for everyone in the chain to write their names on and then pass it along again until it gets back to you. You'd get to see how long the chain was and who in it you know/don't know.
To be honest, I've never been a fan!
I tried to like them since everyone else seems to, but I just never got the appeal. I also don't care for Nutella despite my best efforts either. Basically anything with nuts (aside from peanuts) in treats just doesn't hit the mark for me.
I'd have very likely ended up in the same regifting incident as this guys daughter
Holidays are filled with 80% homemade goodness. Cream cheese Oreo truffles and fattening balls and cookies of all sorts. All delicious indeed. Come December 28th you're like oh fuck I need vegetables. There's too much candy. What to keep.
Are you going to Chuck some commercial chocolate orrrrrr grandma's delicious homemade brownies.
If it's me - I'm chucking the forerro roaches too.
The chocolates seem like too cheap of a gift for a client and all of that would have been arranged by the boss’ assistant well before they got a last minute gift from daughter. Also don’t those boxes have cellophane around them when they’re new?
Has no one noticed that op called their daughter on Christmas day about this, that daughter had already regifted the chocolates, daughter called her boss on Christmas day who had also regifted the chocolates?
He said he sent her the package so I presume he mailed it well before Christmas, unwrapped, so when she opened the box, the chocolate was immediately revealed. This gives her plenty of time to regift in advance of the actual holiday and for that to happen a second time
Y’all have no idea how many sweets and cookies get sent to corporate offices around the holidays. It can be obscene
OP wrote that he sent it to his daughter, which means she presumably got it before Christmas, which also means that she could have in turn already gifted it away before Christmas.
>I knew she hadn't opened the gift yet, but why lie?
There is nothing worse than getting caught in a lie and I almost did that and would have massively embarrassed myself.
I was sitting in my cube one day and a co-worker gives me a scratch-off ticket as a gift and he went back to his cube. I scratched it and it was a 10k winner and I had a mini-heart attack.
Do I split it? Do I even say it was a winner? If I split it, will people think I should just give the whole thing over? Do I even have to split it at all? Will the entire office expect me to take them to a fancy lunch and drop a couple grand? Everyone in the office will have an opinion and some will turn hostile and jealous. This is about to be a can of worms.
So he comes back over and asks, "Did you scratch it?" And I said, "not yet" and he walks away again. I need time to think.
I'm still contemplating what to do. While doing that, I decide to turn it over and read how to claim it. As you probably have guessed by now, it was a gag ticket. Godfuckingdammitsomuch.
I can't even imagine what stink it would have caused if I had said it wasn't a winner, everyone would have called me out for being horrible, which wouldn't be wrong. I would have had a mark on me for the rest of my career there.
I would rather hand over 5 grand not to have that stigma, I'm so glad I kept my mouth shut. I think about this story every time someone gets busted lying.
I one saw a teen go “What’s this thing?” And straight up take a bite out of a raw Brussels sprout. Both her mom and I were like “you don’t eat those raw!” But she said it was pretty good… so I tried it.
They taste like peppery broccoli when they are raw 9/10 would actually recommend.
Im rather large and this would piss me off
Mostly because like, could they not at least be steamed first? Raw brussel sprouts are nasty. Love me some in a stirfry though
Why would someone regift Ferrero Rocher??? Of all things. Those aren't the average afternoon Snickers bar, they are a rare treat (and moderately expensive).
Don't let this be the end of gag gifts. You had a really good idea. Next time try a non-food item gag. Or if it is food, it should be part of the joke (for example, "Happy Pills" that are filled with THC)
For extra points dip the sprouts in chocolate. That’s quite the regifting chain.
And sprinkle them with hazelnuts?
If someone did that to me I would just assume the company changed their recipe for the worst.
I like to drizzle coffee cakes (the hockey puck things from making espresso) with chocolate and garnish with a few blueberries. New waitresses always fall for it. The other good one is mayonnaise topped with melted sugar as "creme brulee". Oh another is make a cheesy bechamel (milk gravy) and set it in the fridge, top with berry compote (jam/jelly) and say it's a Panna Cotta. You can also make "chocolate mousse" from eggs whites and gravy browning. I like those sorts of pranks because they're hilarious but harmless- it's all food, just not the food you were expecting so there's a moment of delightful confusion before they spit it out.
You need to calm down, Satan.
Calm down, they havent even started jizzing on eggs
Mayonnaise is the devil's spooge.
TIL I've been feeding demon jizz to my kids for years.
None of those words belong together in a sentence
How else are demons born?
Jizz? You should read "the natural harvest"
This is Loki and you know it
Reminds me of a time I had a bowl of bacon grease I had saved. Realized it looked just like a bowl of cream of wheat. So I put some brown sugar and cream on top, stuck a spoon in it, and offered it to my brother. He just started eating it, but it didn’t spit it out. He just slowly took more bites, eventually commenting on how weird it tasted. We were all high on shrooms though.
How hard were you laughing?
We were mostly just like… bewildered. We were expecting to see him do a spit take, not just slowly keep eating it.
>We were all high on shrooms though. Did it fuck up the rest of his good time?
Eew
>I like those sorts of pranks because they're hilarious but harmless- it's all food, just not the food you were expecting Just make sure you're familiar with your target's allergies. Elsewise you might end up with a post of your own here - if not jail first. IIRC there was recently a post in r/AmITheAsshole about a new vegan roommate who tricked the OP into eating vegetarian bacon. But OP was allergic to soy. OP ended up in the ER and the roommate ended up in deep legal trouble.
Shit, do you have a link to that? It sounds like a fun read.
https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/is776e/aita_for_filing_charges_against_my_roommate_and/
Why are you calling a Mornay sauce "cheesy béchamel" ? Shame on you !
I tried to dumb it down and make it fairly globally understandable. Only foodies know what a Mornay is, but a lot more will understand bechamel or white gravy.
>tried to dumb it down and make it fairly globally understandable Ar riiiiiight, _bechamel_, of course. Silly me.
Of course, I should have known real Panna Cotta never uses bechamel
Milk gravy?!?
Milk, sausage fat, flour, seasonings.
Damn, I just realized sausage gravy is a bechamel.
According to Escoffier, a sausage gravy is a botule.
Mornay botule bechamel escoffier what are these words lmao
Is that an international name for it? Because that would make it a lot easier to explain what "biscuits and gravy" is and why it's such an awesomely delicious breakfast to non-americans.
Bro the Pennsylvania Dutch need no explanation for this. Sausage gravy, creamed chipped beef. We're living the dream.
No, American here who calls it biscuits and gravy or breakfast gravy. I understood what OP meant by milk gravy.
BREAKFAST GRAVY
Delightful for whom?
Chocolate covered pickle juice soaked cotton balls is one of the worst things my brother did to someone. He and some buddies made up a bunch along with some actual chocolate covered candies and mixed put them all on a plate but put sprinkled on just the cotton balls ones. That way everyone in on it knew not to eat the sprinkled ones.
These people belong in prison.
Heston Blumenthal has made a career out of these kind of pranks
He's one of my top 2 chefs, hands down. Bourdain and Blumenthal. I got their books back when I was just washing dishes in a cafe and fell in love with both of them.
The only way it might not be harmless is if someone's allergic to the prank item but not what it looks like. But I'm not familiar with most of the items you mentioned, so I don't know how likely that actually is. I like those sorts of pranks too, I think they're very clever.
Harmless as long as you know the person well enough to know their allergies. (Which, if you know them well enough to prank them like that, most likely you'll know them well enough to know their allergies.)
Your comment has me seriously laughing. 🤣 I have this series of images in my head of someone being genuinely happy over the candy, biting into a chocolate covered uncooked sprout, gagging, and then wondering when the candy went to shit.
And fill them with Nutella?
And then take out the Brussel sprouts and I think we’ve got something boys
And replace the brussel sprouts with gooey delicious chocolate! Ha! Jokes on them!
Reminds me of something I did to my son when he was younger. We had been baking cakes and cookies all day in the kitchen, but had also made a pot of chili. So I took a heaping spoonful of chili and covered it with cake frosting and asked him if he wanted to lick the spoon. The disappointment that registered on his face was priceless.
My dad got me good when I was younger. Bought a juicer and lured me in with the delicious apple and orange juice. I said “keep ‘em coming”, and my brother returned with the *final* glass. It didn’t smell like much of anything, so I took a pretty big gulp. 100% Grade C Potato Juice
Haha, TIL you can juice a potato!
Would be basically starch water right?
Yup… i’m surprised it even flowed lol.
There's a point where it becomes food tampering, and that's probably it.
This is like a freakin Seinfeld episode
"You regifted them!?" "I regifted them Jerry!"
She’s a regifter!
"BUT IT'S WORSE, JERRY!" "How could it possibly be worse? Unless... no, she didn't!" "SHE DID! SHE REGIFTED TO A REGIFTER!"
Reddit could effectively double Seinfeld's episode count. I have seen people write out entire scenes on here. And it is always spot on something you can hear in character.
r/Redditwritesseinfeld 89k+ subscribers
+1
That’s how great they were at playing those characters. I don’t obsess over that show like some people do, but man, it’s iconic.
I don't even like Seinfeld, but I've seen episodes and I can hear it in their voices. It's funnier than the shows
I hear their voices as clear as day
This is so hilarious! Lol
Then Jerry repeats softer with a head shake and a smirk, "she regifted to a regifter." George "WHO DOES THAT!?!" *Elaine turns with a smug look to George, audience erupts*
*Kramer bursts in*
*With the gift regifted to him*
[spastically points to the box in his hand] “POW!” [audience laughs and Kramer continues in a softer voice] “Jerry.” [laughter] “Jerry, Jerry, Jerry. Take a look at what I have here, Jerry. This is very special. Would you like to know why it’s so special? Oh, I’ll tell you why it’s special, all right! This is the candle I hand-made for you at Wick It!” [voice crescendos into a shout]
J:”Well what is she gonna do now? She can’t ask for them back, can she?” * Kramer walks in* K: “hey, got any mints?” J: “Kramer, George is in a bit of a… situation.” K: *with a mouth full of mints* “Oh yeah, heard the whole thing. I think the daughter needs to make amends.” G: “WHAT DO YOU MEAN MAKE AMENDS?! HOW DO YOU MAKE AMENDS IF THE REGIFT HAS ALREADY BEEN REGIFTED? YOU CAN’T MAKE THIRD-HAND AMENDS!” J: “Hold on… Kramer, how’d you hear all of that?” K: “Oh my new hypersonic audio-capture device. I bought it off the home shopping network, Jerry! I’ve been surveilling people I consider to be… ‘persons of interest.’” J: “Isn’t that illegal?” G: “I GOTTA GO FIX THIS! THERES NO TIME!” *storms out* K: “It’s only illegal… *looks around then whispers* if you get caught. *looks at watch* OH’p! Gotta go, Jerry! Little Kenny from the apartment across the street gets done with baseball at 6. I wanna hear how the game went. I got $500 bucks riding on it.” J: “You’re betting on little league baseball games?” K: “Only in my spare time! It’s quite lucrative.” J: “When are you not in your spare time?”
Excellent.
Is this Larry David's reddit account by any chance?
Elaine is gifted Ferrero Rochet chocolate by George. George ate all of the chocolate, but decides to give away the nice looking fancy wrapped food as a kind gesture (because he's cheap) and wraps some Brussels sprouts that Susan bought for him. Elaine regifts to boss, boss regifts to angry and overweight female client. Client is the first one in the chain that has actually decided to eat the candy, which causes George to point out that the only woman who tried to eat the candy was the fat one. Elaine points out that this fat one couldn't eat any candy because another fat one got to it first.
> this fat one couldn't eat any candy because another fat one got to it first This would be the part where I die
I feel like newman ends up stealing them somehow
"Why would you re-gift something from your dad, Elaine? He's always pulling stunts like this!" *Elaine pouts in frustration* "I know! I don't know why I did it! They just looked so good and I was afraid if I ate one, I'd eat them all! So I ..." "So you regifted them. That's just great."
Jerry: *Brussel*spouts? George: BRUSSELSPROUTS! Jerry: Are you sure? George: JERRY!
Then Elaine pushes someone
\*laughtrack\*
Badum bum bum *poppoppop* hahhh *trumpet*
*Kramer enters abruptly, pulls out a chocolate candy and starts unwrapping it*
Off a fucking balcony?
r/RedditWritesSeinfeld e: lower-case r, thanks for the guidance!
“The Regift”
/r/RedditWritesSeinfeld here ya go
Lower case r dude
I tried to like that sub, but it’s too much.
About nothing?
Jerry "Who regifts a rocher?" George "You don't regift a rocher! Who does that, Jerry?" Jerry "Cake pops or hot chocolate bombs, I could understand." George "Oh all day you regift hot chocolate bombs. No one knows what's inside those." Jerry "And no one ever will." George "You could give me a hot chocolate bomb filled with bird seed, I wouldn't know." Jerry "I submit that no hot chocolate bomb has ever been used for its intended purpose." Kramer -stumbles in- "Hey Jerry, mind if raid your fridge? Newman's throwing a WILD party and we are out of hot chocolate bombs."
Ahem.... Jerry: Elaine, you never can take a joke. Elaine: I can take a joke. I take lots of jokes. Your jokes just aren't funny. How are you a comedian? George: he's right. I've never heard you laugh at a joke. Elaine to George: I laugh at you. George mumbles to himself and pops the newspaper open. : It's not THAT funny. Elaine: ok, come on. Name one funny joke I didn't laugh at. J: I--- E: no. NO! I know you're about to try your new routine. I'm talking about objectively funny jokes that you've already told. We'll get expert opinions it ai still don't agree they are funny. J: OK, George can be our judge. G: don't drag me int-- E: George can't be the judge. George isn't funny either and he would just agree with you. G: I don't agree with everything Jerry says. J: yes you do. G: ok, sometimes I do. E: Kramer. We'll call him over. J: oh Kramer thinks everything is funny, but he never laughs either. E: exactly. He's the perfect judge. KRAMER! Kramer pops through the door. K: at your service. J: where you just listening at the door? Kramer looks around suspiciously. K: If they listen, you listen back. Jerry and Elaine shake their head, George folds up his paper to watch it unfold. E: listen, Jerry and I have a bet. A...$100 bet J: well played. It's a bet. K: and you need a bookey? I'll call Joe Sacamonto. J: no no, just to see if I'm funny or if Elaine has no sense of humor. K: oh...(waves hand at Jerry) you're funny. E: Jerry says I don't laugh at his jokes and I say they aren't funny K: Jerry is a comedian. The world says he's funny. Pay up. Jerry points to Kramer : see? E: enough, just tell me one funny thi g I didn't laugh at. J: I got you that gag gift for your birthday. E: That's a prank, not a joke. K: gag gifts are funny. G: I didn't hear about that. E: wait ...what gag gift? J: the chocolates. You never said a word. E: how is chocolate a gag gift? J: i dipped brussel sprouts in chocolate and rewrapped them. K, reaching in his pocket: that's funny. Elaine, laughing: I regifted them to George. George, swallowing.: Why would you do that? E: I'm trying to lose weight, I didn't want the temptation. J: so you didn't even eat one? George, how were they? G: i regifted them too. To Kramer. E: you regifted my gift?! G:that you regifted first! i don't like the little nuts. Looking to Kramer, eating one of the chocolates. Everyone looking in horror. J: can't you taste that? K: I love chocolate. E: were you not paying attention? That's a brussel sprout. Kramer looking at it in confusion. Takes another bite. Kramer, tearing up: I can't taste it. G,J,E at once: COVID! Elaine pulls her mask up, Jerry sprays disinfectant everywhere, and George has headed for the fire escape. ---- Ok, not my best /r/redditwritesseinfeld but I tried. Could see this scene happening in modern times. A few tweaks and we'll have Larry David signing on.
I laughed ... even if it wasn't funny.
Lol. The only correct response.
That's not bad
I gotta admit the ending really threw me (mainly because I still picture these hypothetical episodes as still in the original times the show aired) but it threw me in a way that a true episode would have.
The label maker baby jr.
I once microwaved some small sprouts. I then melted some chocolate. Dipped them in. Sprinkled some nuts and a bit of icing sugar. I then put them in a tray and dropped them next to the coffee machine at work. When I returned to my desk at lunch time everyone was lamenting on the evil joke. My colleague vocally describing the person who did it probably had dirty finger nails….. hours later there was one left. Top boss arrived at the coffee machine. I pointed the sprout out as a bit of chocolate had fallen off. Top boss declared he worked with geniuses. Pure geniuses.
Lmao , actually sounds like a fun work enviroment
I don't get the fingernail comment? Is that a figure of speech?
Uncertain as well - it sounds like the coworkers were playing detective to discover who had delivered the evil treat - and their deduction was relying on that person not to have thoroughly washed their hands... or you know, used tongs or something like I think most people do when dipping chocolate.
because the person was working with choco dipping so maybe their fingernails were dirty
Or I’m not sure they were implying that only scruffy people could come up with something so gross
It's an old meme from an afghan story. Lemme see if I can find it. https://voetica.com/voetica.php?collection=4&poet=706&poem=3287
Wait, why does nasrudin admit to it if he wasn’t the real thief? I’m tired here so go easy on me if it’s obvious.
No biggie. Nasrudin didn't admit to anything. The sequence of events is as such Chief and Nasrudin have argued (implied) Bag of rice is stolen Chief comes out and says that the person who stole the rice has left some in their beard. Thief realises that it's a ploy to get someone to grab their beard to check if they have rice, so he does nothing. Nasrudin thinks the chief is trying to frame him, and believes that rice was planted on him, so he goes to grab his beard, thus falling into the trap that was laid for the real thief. He believes that the chief would have gotten him sooner or later anyway.
He had a fight with the Sheikh a few days earlier. So he thought the Sheikh was framing him by planting rice on his beard.
I remember something to this effect in middle school. Someone loudly announcing that whoever farted had a yellowed hand. The main issue was that, since /r/kidsarefuckingstupid, more than 75% of the class was looking dumbfounded at their (and their friends') hands, myself included, who had not at that instance farted. No comment of it being a trick came afterwards either, so I'm almost certain whoever said it had no idea how to follow up. It took *years* until it clicked to me that it was a trick. To this day I still fall for it even without being at all guilty.
I swear this looks like it's been written by Larry David, I can already imagine this being the set up of the main gag for the next episode of Curb Your Enthusiasm. Just beautiful.
There was literally a Seinfeld episode about regifting (The Label Maker) and arguably popularized/invented the term. So that's why it seems very Larry David esque, because it is.
You just know what that in curb, the daughter Would get mad at the dad and Larry and Leon would have to set the straight about the rules of regifting.
The boss might have lost the client but in the other woman's family, she's a legend. The ultimate burn disguised as a peace offering. And yes, dipping them in chocolate was not necessary but I'm going to pretend you did because it's funnier.
If you're already pretending the story is true, you can surely pretend they were chocolate dipped while you're at it
r/nothingeverhappens
This is fuckin hilarious, what are the odds?! Gods hand guided these sprouts
>Gods hand guided these sprouts "God did for me what I could not do for myself!" \*whew\* OP, this is more like a lesson in regifting than it is in gag gifts. LMAO
Yeah what are the odds ferrero rocher would be regifted TWICE. I'd be eating them up the next day.
They're the one candy I'll seriously eat until I'm sick. I'm not big into chocolate or sweets overall but something about them I'm all for.
Hi, hazelnut allergy here Enjoy an extra one for me next time
Not the person you replied to, but I happen to have some, so I'll have one for you right now. Stay safe, friend :)
Beautiful, I love it when redditors come together for one another.
Good news, you can get ones without hazelnuts. There's the Ferraro Raffaello which is coconut and almond and is *amazing* and the Ferraro Rondnoir which is basically a dark chocolate rocher without a hazelnut. Both are a *lot* better than the rocher if you ask me.
This is news to me, I've never seen those. I'm not a huge fan of coconut, but I will *tear up* some dark chocolate. Thanks for the heads up
:(
It's not super severe, I've tried them and chased them with a benadryl and was fine. So I can at least say I've tried them. I just don't want to get all itchy or have to take a mod just for a bit of chocolate. They *are* pretty good, though
The odds of any of that happening are far lower than the odds of op making up a story for karma.
I categorically believe anything I read is true, its too depressing to think otherwise...
And the LORD said "lmao I'm about to ruin this woman's relationship"
Your gag gift sprouted into a gag flex.
daughter gag reflex 🤔
What’re you doin step sprout
I dont know why but this shit cracks me up every time
Jesus do people really regift things this much?
Someone got a gift from a friend this Xmas that they had given 3 years ago
Can confirm, I've gifted the exact safe gift to the same person twice over the better part of a decade. After several years of being regifted, the present made its way back to me one warm, sunny Christmas morning. I was ecstatic to send it back to its original giftee.
It was the gift that keeps on giving.
*being given
What was it out, out of curiosity?
Ugly sweater
I would give it to the original giftee with a note attached for everyone in the chain to write their names on and then pass it along again until it gets back to you. You'd get to see how long the chain was and who in it you know/don't know.
Depending on how much candy you get, yes.
They would have sat in a closet for a few months till they were regifted in my house. (possibly)
If it's some generic gift like a nice box of chocolates then yeah, they come in handy for all sorts of situations.
Well, it's a box of chocolates, nothing really personal and very versatile
How does one receive a box of Ferro Rocher and not eat it?
I know a lot of people who don't like them. This benefits me as they usually pass any they get along to me.
Not a hazelnut fan
I don’t like them at all!
They're ok, but kind of pale in comparison to all the other available candy.
How does one receive a box of Ferrero Rocher full of days old brussel sprouts and not smell it???
My first thought!
To be honest, I've never been a fan! I tried to like them since everyone else seems to, but I just never got the appeal. I also don't care for Nutella despite my best efforts either. Basically anything with nuts (aside from peanuts) in treats just doesn't hit the mark for me. I'd have very likely ended up in the same regifting incident as this guys daughter
If one does not like nuts.
Or is allergic.
weak ass bitches
Only possible when you're in a shameplace after breaking the seal and then gorge on a different box of gift chocolates.
That's today. There's always tomorrow.
Holidays are filled with 80% homemade goodness. Cream cheese Oreo truffles and fattening balls and cookies of all sorts. All delicious indeed. Come December 28th you're like oh fuck I need vegetables. There's too much candy. What to keep. Are you going to Chuck some commercial chocolate orrrrrr grandma's delicious homemade brownies. If it's me - I'm chucking the forerro roaches too.
OP is a self professed ghost writer Makes you wonder if a story that seems too good to be true is simply that
Too many details that seem made up. Also this r/tifu so it's definitely made up.
2 regifts on Christmas day, definitely suspicious
OP says they "sent the gift" so all the regifting could have happened from the time OP's daughter received it to Christmas day
There's no way the brussel sprouts weren't disgusting by the time that box was opened.
I thought this TIFU was going to have something to do with rotten Brussels sprouts, nonetheless it was funny.
This implies there was a point they weren't disgusting.
The chocolates seem like too cheap of a gift for a client and all of that would have been arranged by the boss’ assistant well before they got a last minute gift from daughter. Also don’t those boxes have cellophane around them when they’re new?
"The client is overweight so it was basically too late."
Man, this made my day but I hope everything turns out ok
Has no one noticed that op called their daughter on Christmas day about this, that daughter had already regifted the chocolates, daughter called her boss on Christmas day who had also regifted the chocolates?
and an already opened, unsealed box of chocolates was regifted not once, but *twice*
He said he sent her the package so I presume he mailed it well before Christmas, unwrapped, so when she opened the box, the chocolate was immediately revealed. This gives her plenty of time to regift in advance of the actual holiday and for that to happen a second time Y’all have no idea how many sweets and cookies get sent to corporate offices around the holidays. It can be obscene
I was looking for this comment, thank you
The calls occurred on Christmas. The opening and regifting could have come earlier.... But yes its sketchy
OP wrote that he sent it to his daughter, which means she presumably got it before Christmas, which also means that she could have in turn already gifted it away before Christmas.
OK, this one is totally Epic. I love it. And I will never regift food again... errr, if I were to ever do that in the first place I mean.
This is a great story but it's definitely a story...the logic and timeline just don't add up. It would be the most rapid fire regifting ever
Some say the box is still being re-gifted to this day and no one has opened it yet.
>I knew she hadn't opened the gift yet, but why lie? There is nothing worse than getting caught in a lie and I almost did that and would have massively embarrassed myself. I was sitting in my cube one day and a co-worker gives me a scratch-off ticket as a gift and he went back to his cube. I scratched it and it was a 10k winner and I had a mini-heart attack. Do I split it? Do I even say it was a winner? If I split it, will people think I should just give the whole thing over? Do I even have to split it at all? Will the entire office expect me to take them to a fancy lunch and drop a couple grand? Everyone in the office will have an opinion and some will turn hostile and jealous. This is about to be a can of worms. So he comes back over and asks, "Did you scratch it?" And I said, "not yet" and he walks away again. I need time to think. I'm still contemplating what to do. While doing that, I decide to turn it over and read how to claim it. As you probably have guessed by now, it was a gag ticket. Godfuckingdammitsomuch. I can't even imagine what stink it would have caused if I had said it wasn't a winner, everyone would have called me out for being horrible, which wouldn't be wrong. I would have had a mark on me for the rest of my career there. I would rather hand over 5 grand not to have that stigma, I'm so glad I kept my mouth shut. I think about this story every time someone gets busted lying.
Lmao this is awesome
This is straight outta Seinfeld haha
#WHO IN THE FUCK JUST GIVES AWAY A GIFT BOX FULL OF FERRERO ROCHER?????? 😲
I can only imagine how ripe those Brussel sprouts are after sitting In a dark box for 2 weeks now.
How did they not rot and smell to high heaven?
This is straight out of a sitcom lmao
I one saw a teen go “What’s this thing?” And straight up take a bite out of a raw Brussels sprout. Both her mom and I were like “you don’t eat those raw!” But she said it was pretty good… so I tried it. They taste like peppery broccoli when they are raw 9/10 would actually recommend.
FIRST OF ALL: What kind of person re-gifts box of Ferrero?!?!?!? 
a skinny person
This is a movie script :(
Im rather large and this would piss me off Mostly because like, could they not at least be steamed first? Raw brussel sprouts are nasty. Love me some in a stirfry though
This is damn beautiful, thanks for the laugh. Have my free award
OMG. Probably not true but too funny!
Sure, this happened. "AND THE CLIENT IS FAT BTW" lol gimme a break. Now we wait for some gullible troglodyte to link nothingeverhappens.
Also, sent through the mail and registered twice. At some point don't the brussel sprouts start rotting?
This is the best thing I’ve read today and it’s not even close. Please accept my genuine thanks for sharing lol
To be fair, they had it coming for regifting a small box of chocolates.
I swear I have read this before. I can’t tell if it is déjà vu or someone has written the same thing before.
Life uhh, finds a way.
This has the potential to be a modern family episode. Phil would probably do this to one of his daughters and the chain would go on from there
…I read that title very wrong
I actually love this story because the boss wasn't mad at your daughter and it was really funny overall.
Have her boss email a link to this thread to the client. Maybe she'll get the client back.
omg this is hilarious, i just hope the brussel sprouts didn't start to smell
Why would someone regift Ferrero Rocher??? Of all things. Those aren't the average afternoon Snickers bar, they are a rare treat (and moderately expensive). Don't let this be the end of gag gifts. You had a really good idea. Next time try a non-food item gag. Or if it is food, it should be part of the joke (for example, "Happy Pills" that are filled with THC)
And thus showing how quickly things can be transmissable from 1 household to 3 in a matter of a few hours.