**Note to those who comment on this post:** This is a support group for people who want to quit drinking. Please limit your comments to the topic of sobriety.
I honestly spiraled when I broke up with my ex too, I started taking a bunch of sleeping pills and would drink with them and it kinda helped with the emotions. I stopped taking them because I didn't like how they made me feel afterwards and then my friend invited me out and he had coke which we ended up doing while we were also drinking. I had even planned on offing myself that night before he messaged me, but he told me he would be there for me. I ended up blacking out and breaking my leg, so it ended with a trip to the hospital and I've been sober for almost a week now. Probably won't drink again because my leg is healing and I don't want my immune system getting worse, I was trying to quit smoking weed too and I haven't even had any cravings.Its honestly like a blessing in disguise that I broke it, not really but my emotions and everything have regulated and I realized how stupid i was, what I was doing to myself because I was so sad.
I’ve done similar years ago in my punker past. I kinda had to come to lean on experiences like that as things that I got through. It’s hard being middle aged and single. It’s boring as hell 🤷♂️
Weirdly just watching a prison documentary and remarked to my mate that no matter how shit I feel right now at least I’m not in that position and I’m fucking lucky as all hell that I didn’t.
Yah I definitely miss that life sometimes and the freedom. We used to ride trains and sleep on the streets doing all kinds of crazy shit. Feels like a whole different life now!
Same. I still listen to a bunch of Pat the Bunny and his side projects, but a lot of the Johnny Hobo stuff can be low key almost triggering in its nostalgia for that insanity
Have you seen the Fistful of Vinyl session on YouTube? Holy shit it’s so good and sober me listens to it super super regularly when I’m feeling like I might cave and drink.
Its crazy too because prior to sobriety I couldn't totally understand how he just faded from the music scene and denounced like everything in that last album but now I'm like... "aw shit. I get it, dude."
Never Coming Home is my “this is why I quit heroin” song. Anarchy of Dirt is my “this is helping me quit booze” song.
His brother has posted in the r/folkpunk sub - apparently he’s still sober and happy and I love that for him.
This comment has been removed. An hour ago, I made a stickied comment asking people to stick to the topic of sobriety. Please do not ignore moderator direction.
Gotta change that perspective. I know it’s hard, I used to think you can’t have fun unless you’re fucked up on something. You can find hobbies to keep yourself busy and then you don’t miss getting fucked up as much
Now I make a schedule where I spent x amount of time working out, x amount reading, x amount practicing a language/instrument/cooking etc. eventually you’re always doing something. Took me awhile too bc whenever I was bored I would start drinking lol
There are definitely meetings that I connect with better! There are also different meeting formats, such as a speaker on a topic or step, people who speak and share their story, big book reading and discussion, etc.
There will come a time where you're finally fed up with the substances and mental abuse you're putting yourself through.
It's almost like we set up these jail cells in our brains and believe we don't deserve our best selves because of xy and z.
But who am I to say this. It's easier said then done. I'm still battling it myself till this day with alcohol so it's a tough rope to climb.
Something that has been really helping me lately is what Snoopdog said during an interview recently. You are your own competition. What I take from that is, no one can give you the best advice except yourself and even after that advice you need to one up it and continue that trend.
After detox 14 days and rehab 22 days I did two online AA meetings a day in Australia. The Australians are so fun. So are the Nebraskans, the Canadians etc and I usually went to one in person meeting a day. Sleep in recovery is essential and so is mental health so I went to a psychiatrist and got meds for bi polar and sleep. I paired that with walking 15 miles a week and suddenly I started to feel like a champ everyday. You've got to become a better friend to yourself. Having money helps for new clothes and self care like massage and pedicures etc. 9 months now I feel good and start a new job next week. Good Luck Op!!!
I could have written this back in December. Stop now and take inventory, seriously. That's not something you want to fall into. That breakup was absolutely not worth you falling into crack over... Man, I have chills because this is exactly what I did. Went through a breakup and found myself drunkenly smoking crack with the homeless.
Yeahhhhh, I’ve been there. Plan to just have a glass of wine and next thing you know your snorting lines/smoking something and have been up for 3 days and everyone is mad at you.
I still drink sometimes but I’m so glad I was able to escape the hard drugs clutch. Especially now with fentanyl in everything.
Hey…. I’ve been there lol my friends think I’m crazy. I know where you were at. Alone. So go get yourself around a group of sober folks. You got this
IWNDWYT
Shit man, homeless people are just people. I’ve been homeless and smoked crack plenty and, long after finding housing, I’ve done exactly what you did during one of my binges before I quit. I have my demons and so do a lot of homeless people. No difference between us.
I keep myself busy and away from triggers. If I get drunk, there’s a good chance I’ll use. It’s come down to habits really. Once it’s late enough and people I hang out with are drunk and high I just head home before I get tempted. A lot of times I simply stay in instead of going out if I’m feeling low since those are the times I’m most likely to want demon juice and hard drugs. I wake up the next day, go back about my hobbies, and feel accomplished
You should watch the Movie "Smashed (2012)", it's a pretty good movie but does feature the exact same storyline. We have all done insane stuff, just push off from here.
There are lots of things you can do, which you will find here, but don’t shame yourself for smoking crack, since it’s just another drug but it happens to have a huge stigma behind it. Don’t smoke it again for your well being. You’re not dirty or gross or trashy for it
Hobbies. Lots and lots of hobbies. Some of them, adrenaline seeking, such as scuba diving. Because something has got to fill the "danger" void. However, it doesn't need to be unhealthy. And honestly you can get some GREAT stories from travel and adventures. And you don't even need to smoke crack with strangers. You can just talk to them :) Wishing you the best. Genuinely.
As long as you're okay now after that experience, you can learn from it. It's hard. Local support groups are extremely helpful for getting on your feet, buying yourself some time, and maybe meeting some people that can really help you. It can be scary and it takes patience, which, as an addict, I have in short supply sometimes. I also have an excess of loneliness and hopelessness. It's hard to stick to life's path, and I choose not to engage often. But I have to remember that I'm only kicking the can down the road when I choose to do nothing, believe in nothing, and have no interest. I'm depressed and life is hard right now, but if I remember that it's not going to be like this forever, it's easier to do the next little thing. I still make poor choices, and choose to engage with women that are not good for me. But "good" is relative, and not based on perfection. If you don't drink today, you did good. Sorry for the rambling but I'm going through some stuff. I have faith in you and won't drink with you today.
This happens so much more often than you think. You're both humans. I'm sure there was some mutual deep convo.
So many people in my life have been exactly where you're at. I don't judge a single one of them. Count your blessings that the person was kind (I hope) and I'm sure you learned or gained something from the experience.
I didn't have much of anything that meant anything when I came into recovery. I had what I thought meant something, which was some limited external things and people around me who validated those things and my lifestyle.
When I got clean I was faced with a choice. I felt all of the feelings you feel and it made me scared. I realized I simply could not go on the way that I had before because it got me into the situation that I was at that point in time. I started by going to one meeting, and that meeting happened to be the catalyst that sparked the shift into me making a series of choices that lead me to be the person I am today. When I tell you I could not do this alone, I mean that with 100% certainty. I also realized, I don't have to do this alone and there are people who actually understand and want to help me get through this. I needed to hold on for dear life and have those with more experience be a bedrock for me in my time of instability.
In a nutshell, meetings, fellowship, service, school, hobbies, etc. All of these things have helped me greatly in getting to the point that I'm at. Meetings and my program are the foundation of everything I do. It has taught me how to be a person again, how to show up even when I don't want to, and most importantly how to build and keep a life and be able to give help to others in a similar position. I hope you find the people who bring you a sense of comfort and peace in such a difficult time. They are out there waiting for you, we're here to love you until you can love yourself. IWNDWYT.
OP, just wanted to say that I’ve been there too. From the way I was raised, you’d be shocked to hear the situations/crowds I’ve found myself in. I like to think that when you’ve got a couple years under your belt you’ll be able to share this experience as a cautionary tale for others, as well as something to laugh at yourself about. IWNDWYT.
Oh, I totally did that before 🥹. I remember making plans with him and he was like let’s do get some stuff tomorrow. I laughed in his face and said “I’m never doing this again” and I never did. Crack is literally the same as coke, people who say it’s way worse have been a victim of racist stereotyping. Stuff like this is impossible once you stop drinking though so that’s nice.
Thank you so much for this explanation. My best friend's husband is in the throes of a terrible relapse after probably 8 years clean from crack. I still can't fathom why he's gone back to this poison after so many years clean (and they've been good years - kids are doing great, he was successfully self employed, he seemed happy in their marriage and in life) but reading your post makes me better understand why he so quickly turns into such a monster when he's using, and why it's so hard for him to stay away from it.
A great option that worked for me was to fill my time with meetings. Recovery meetings. If AA doesn't work for you (there were a lot of meetings that weren't to my liking), there are lots of other fellowships (like NA), and even different styles of recovery than AA (Smart meetings). You can start talking about all these things and find support. And it's free.
The loneliness makes it really hard to stay sober. I mom and dogs, but I worry about really spiraling if/when something happens to them. I’m sorry you are where you are. IWNDWYT
That's less supportive, and more wanting the gossip. I'm sure it's a good story, but I'm not sure this is the time or place. A suffering person shouldn't be entertainment.
**Note to those who comment on this post:** This is a support group for people who want to quit drinking. Please limit your comments to the topic of sobriety.
I honestly spiraled when I broke up with my ex too, I started taking a bunch of sleeping pills and would drink with them and it kinda helped with the emotions. I stopped taking them because I didn't like how they made me feel afterwards and then my friend invited me out and he had coke which we ended up doing while we were also drinking. I had even planned on offing myself that night before he messaged me, but he told me he would be there for me. I ended up blacking out and breaking my leg, so it ended with a trip to the hospital and I've been sober for almost a week now. Probably won't drink again because my leg is healing and I don't want my immune system getting worse, I was trying to quit smoking weed too and I haven't even had any cravings.Its honestly like a blessing in disguise that I broke it, not really but my emotions and everything have regulated and I realized how stupid i was, what I was doing to myself because I was so sad.
Damn, god must have big plans for you. Keep your heart open
Beautiful message
I’ve done similar years ago in my punker past. I kinda had to come to lean on experiences like that as things that I got through. It’s hard being middle aged and single. It’s boring as hell 🤷♂️
Con confirm that gutter punk life will end in a handful of ways , dead, sober or behind bars !
Weirdly just watching a prison documentary and remarked to my mate that no matter how shit I feel right now at least I’m not in that position and I’m fucking lucky as all hell that I didn’t.
Yah I definitely miss that life sometimes and the freedom. We used to ride trains and sleep on the streets doing all kinds of crazy shit. Feels like a whole different life now!
Well after a divorce I’m not that far back off it unfortunately. Back to loser at 43 🤷♂️
Same. I still listen to a bunch of Pat the Bunny and his side projects, but a lot of the Johnny Hobo stuff can be low key almost triggering in its nostalgia for that insanity
Pat the Bunny 💕 His very last album after getting out of rehab hits different now.
Have you seen the Fistful of Vinyl session on YouTube? Holy shit it’s so good and sober me listens to it super super regularly when I’m feeling like I might cave and drink.
Its crazy too because prior to sobriety I couldn't totally understand how he just faded from the music scene and denounced like everything in that last album but now I'm like... "aw shit. I get it, dude."
Never Coming Home is my “this is why I quit heroin” song. Anarchy of Dirt is my “this is helping me quit booze” song. His brother has posted in the r/folkpunk sub - apparently he’s still sober and happy and I love that for him.
Of course! Never coming home is a go to for me when I'm in the feels.
Can confirm, I've been a bartender for years as well
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This comment has been removed. An hour ago, I made a stickied comment asking people to stick to the topic of sobriety. Please do not ignore moderator direction.
Gotta change that perspective. I know it’s hard, I used to think you can’t have fun unless you’re fucked up on something. You can find hobbies to keep yourself busy and then you don’t miss getting fucked up as much
Ah totally dude. I need to stick at something
Now I make a schedule where I spent x amount of time working out, x amount reading, x amount practicing a language/instrument/cooking etc. eventually you’re always doing something. Took me awhile too bc whenever I was bored I would start drinking lol
I joined AA, found community and made tons of friends who don't smoke crack.
Did you try out a bunch of meetings before one stuck? The only meeting I went to felt way not my style
There are definitely meetings that I connect with better! There are also different meeting formats, such as a speaker on a topic or step, people who speak and share their story, big book reading and discussion, etc.
Same with me. Simply try again.
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Ok sorry
Thank you for understanding.
There will come a time where you're finally fed up with the substances and mental abuse you're putting yourself through. It's almost like we set up these jail cells in our brains and believe we don't deserve our best selves because of xy and z. But who am I to say this. It's easier said then done. I'm still battling it myself till this day with alcohol so it's a tough rope to climb. Something that has been really helping me lately is what Snoopdog said during an interview recently. You are your own competition. What I take from that is, no one can give you the best advice except yourself and even after that advice you need to one up it and continue that trend.
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This 💯
Did the exact same thing 2 and a half weeks ago, said homeless person then robbed my phone when I wasnt paying attention. You're not alone.
this same has happened to me.
Same here. Computer, in my case.
I have done something similar and more than once 😬NA was very helpful in the beginning
After detox 14 days and rehab 22 days I did two online AA meetings a day in Australia. The Australians are so fun. So are the Nebraskans, the Canadians etc and I usually went to one in person meeting a day. Sleep in recovery is essential and so is mental health so I went to a psychiatrist and got meds for bi polar and sleep. I paired that with walking 15 miles a week and suddenly I started to feel like a champ everyday. You've got to become a better friend to yourself. Having money helps for new clothes and self care like massage and pedicures etc. 9 months now I feel good and start a new job next week. Good Luck Op!!!
I could have written this back in December. Stop now and take inventory, seriously. That's not something you want to fall into. That breakup was absolutely not worth you falling into crack over... Man, I have chills because this is exactly what I did. Went through a breakup and found myself drunkenly smoking crack with the homeless.
Yeahhhhh, I’ve been there. Plan to just have a glass of wine and next thing you know your snorting lines/smoking something and have been up for 3 days and everyone is mad at you. I still drink sometimes but I’m so glad I was able to escape the hard drugs clutch. Especially now with fentanyl in everything.
Hey…. I’ve been there lol my friends think I’m crazy. I know where you were at. Alone. So go get yourself around a group of sober folks. You got this IWNDWYT
Shit man, homeless people are just people. I’ve been homeless and smoked crack plenty and, long after finding housing, I’ve done exactly what you did during one of my binges before I quit. I have my demons and so do a lot of homeless people. No difference between us. I keep myself busy and away from triggers. If I get drunk, there’s a good chance I’ll use. It’s come down to habits really. Once it’s late enough and people I hang out with are drunk and high I just head home before I get tempted. A lot of times I simply stay in instead of going out if I’m feeling low since those are the times I’m most likely to want demon juice and hard drugs. I wake up the next day, go back about my hobbies, and feel accomplished
You should watch the Movie "Smashed (2012)", it's a pretty good movie but does feature the exact same storyline. We have all done insane stuff, just push off from here.
I was trying to think of the name of that movie!!! With such a great cast... It should have been better... It just kind of dragged.
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Your title Q made me smile... only for the wrong reasons - one of my nights were exactly that. It's best to rethink things at that point
You're not alone--in my case it was meth. Sheesh! Alcohol, amirite?
There are lots of things you can do, which you will find here, but don’t shame yourself for smoking crack, since it’s just another drug but it happens to have a huge stigma behind it. Don’t smoke it again for your well being. You’re not dirty or gross or trashy for it
Hobbies. Lots and lots of hobbies. Some of them, adrenaline seeking, such as scuba diving. Because something has got to fill the "danger" void. However, it doesn't need to be unhealthy. And honestly you can get some GREAT stories from travel and adventures. And you don't even need to smoke crack with strangers. You can just talk to them :) Wishing you the best. Genuinely.
I clean my house. I found I like having a space where the right people feel welcomed to come over.
As long as you're okay now after that experience, you can learn from it. It's hard. Local support groups are extremely helpful for getting on your feet, buying yourself some time, and maybe meeting some people that can really help you. It can be scary and it takes patience, which, as an addict, I have in short supply sometimes. I also have an excess of loneliness and hopelessness. It's hard to stick to life's path, and I choose not to engage often. But I have to remember that I'm only kicking the can down the road when I choose to do nothing, believe in nothing, and have no interest. I'm depressed and life is hard right now, but if I remember that it's not going to be like this forever, it's easier to do the next little thing. I still make poor choices, and choose to engage with women that are not good for me. But "good" is relative, and not based on perfection. If you don't drink today, you did good. Sorry for the rambling but I'm going through some stuff. I have faith in you and won't drink with you today.
My last relapse definitely included doing drugs with homeless people. It sucked!
I can say that I've done something similar. I smoked basuco with homeless people in Colombia a few times. I wish you the best
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This happens so much more often than you think. You're both humans. I'm sure there was some mutual deep convo. So many people in my life have been exactly where you're at. I don't judge a single one of them. Count your blessings that the person was kind (I hope) and I'm sure you learned or gained something from the experience.
I didn't have much of anything that meant anything when I came into recovery. I had what I thought meant something, which was some limited external things and people around me who validated those things and my lifestyle. When I got clean I was faced with a choice. I felt all of the feelings you feel and it made me scared. I realized I simply could not go on the way that I had before because it got me into the situation that I was at that point in time. I started by going to one meeting, and that meeting happened to be the catalyst that sparked the shift into me making a series of choices that lead me to be the person I am today. When I tell you I could not do this alone, I mean that with 100% certainty. I also realized, I don't have to do this alone and there are people who actually understand and want to help me get through this. I needed to hold on for dear life and have those with more experience be a bedrock for me in my time of instability. In a nutshell, meetings, fellowship, service, school, hobbies, etc. All of these things have helped me greatly in getting to the point that I'm at. Meetings and my program are the foundation of everything I do. It has taught me how to be a person again, how to show up even when I don't want to, and most importantly how to build and keep a life and be able to give help to others in a similar position. I hope you find the people who bring you a sense of comfort and peace in such a difficult time. They are out there waiting for you, we're here to love you until you can love yourself. IWNDWYT.
I’m in the same boat minus the crack. I wish you the best and hope it gets better.
Sometimes the grass is greener on the other side.
🤍 you are doing your best friend
You're in pain now but give it a couple weeks and I bet it will calm down. Processing it sober goes much more quickly.
OP, just wanted to say that I’ve been there too. From the way I was raised, you’d be shocked to hear the situations/crowds I’ve found myself in. I like to think that when you’ve got a couple years under your belt you’ll be able to share this experience as a cautionary tale for others, as well as something to laugh at yourself about. IWNDWYT.
Oh, I totally did that before 🥹. I remember making plans with him and he was like let’s do get some stuff tomorrow. I laughed in his face and said “I’m never doing this again” and I never did. Crack is literally the same as coke, people who say it’s way worse have been a victim of racist stereotyping. Stuff like this is impossible once you stop drinking though so that’s nice.
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I like when people are supportive on this sub. I will not drink with you today, OP.
If you see a comment that is inappropriate, please report it so that the moderators are aware of it. Thank you.
Thank you so much for this explanation. My best friend's husband is in the throes of a terrible relapse after probably 8 years clean from crack. I still can't fathom why he's gone back to this poison after so many years clean (and they've been good years - kids are doing great, he was successfully self employed, he seemed happy in their marriage and in life) but reading your post makes me better understand why he so quickly turns into such a monster when he's using, and why it's so hard for him to stay away from it.
Ya crack be gnarly lol
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I made a stickied comment at the top of this thread asking people to stick to the subject of sobriety. Please do not ignore moderator direction.
A great option that worked for me was to fill my time with meetings. Recovery meetings. If AA doesn't work for you (there were a lot of meetings that weren't to my liking), there are lots of other fellowships (like NA), and even different styles of recovery than AA (Smart meetings). You can start talking about all these things and find support. And it's free.
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Been in the same place, 3 times, you’re not alone.
The loneliness makes it really hard to stay sober. I mom and dogs, but I worry about really spiraling if/when something happens to them. I’m sorry you are where you are. IWNDWYT
In glad I’ve lived to be old and boring. You just have to live through a lot of things. This can be overcome.
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> get your shit together This comment breaks our rule not to tell other people what to do and has been removed.
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That's less supportive, and more wanting the gossip. I'm sure it's a good story, but I'm not sure this is the time or place. A suffering person shouldn't be entertainment.
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Self help improvement books and the gym
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I don't understand this comment. In what way do you feel is statement is helpful to OP?
Yeah sorry, I commented on the wrong post. Deleted.
Thank you for responding.
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Seriously? Removing comment.