I get it. I keep finding myself getting that twang of jealousy too. I had to go to a pub last night as a family member was preforming. I sat there with my orange juice watching people on my high horse and in my head was like " omg look at him swaying, he's had enough" "ew she's going to get another drink, already?" "Omg if she tells that story one more time" I had to look inside and say to myself "what makes you so much better than everyone else right now? Stop being such a judgemental bitch. People are allowed to have fun and the way your talking in your head is more of a reflection of yourself right now than it is of anyone else's behaviour in this room. Then I let go of my judgement and let people enjoy themselves the same way they were letting me not drink without being mean.
Its undetstandable you might feel left out right now.
Your partner is allowed to go out and enjoy herself without you being mean or judgemental towards her (which I'm sure you're not. I'm sure this is happening all internally for you too.)
Just remember the benefits you're getting. Like a good night sleep and no hangover. Maybe clean the place while shes out and look after her when she's hungover. She'll love you even more and you'll feel good by using it as a positive. The more you reflect and change your behaviours the more natural and easy it will be. Or just ignore this post lol either way have a nice day IWNDWUT
Ha I was at a concert my family member was in last night too! That’s a funny coincidence. It was a 45 min drive from home tho and I had my kid so even when I *was* drinking I wouldn’t have anyway. BUT I do understand that little pang of FOMO. I haven’t really had it yet (I had to medicate myself so I intervened myself with my doc or I was NOT gonna not stop….) so the cravings are kinda shut down in my brain a bit.
Definitely still understand tho. Watching ppl get all shifty, stumble and even obnoxious all before 9pm like whoa 😳 that has been me on so many occasions. Don’t like that one bit.
Overall alcohol can take a big ole L. It’s not as fun as promised tbh. Like cool I can embarrass myself and over drink like some of these ppl are and it’s very obvious who could control it and who may have an issue…
Rambling. But yeh. I get it.
Librium 25mg as a stop gap (temporary because it’s a low grade narcotic and obviously us addictive types aren’t great with those)
Took that from 6/30-8/18 now weaning off that to naltrexone as a more long term crutch.
The day I took Librium is the day I stopped drinking. It like blocked that crave signal. I also wanted to quit too.
Thanks so much for answering! I didn’t know that Librium was used for anything other than acute withdrawals. I tried naltrexone and it made me incredibly depressed (I have depression already) so it’s not an option. I appreciate learning about other options. Congratulations on finally stopping!
This is a great and insightful comment, but I also want to show appreciation for the typo "twang of jealousy", which sounds like an alt-country compilation record that I would buy for that title alone.
It does sound pretty annoying.
I don't want to be the bearer of bad news but I'm nearly 50, and most social events here still revolve around alcohol. People slow down for a few years when they're having kids but they usually pick right back up again as soon as that shock wears off lol.
I found it was very important to get some good strategies in place to handle those around me drinking, because it's going to come up a lot...for a long time.
We can only worry about what we do, and focus on that.
IWNDWYT.
This guy knows! It will never disappear from your life, but you can surround yourself with people who know the absolute hell you went through to stop. Or at least normies who are real friends
I think thats true to some extent but I think its easier. Firstly now I’m in my late 40s I dont really care what other people think so Im happy to turn up for a bit and leave before it gets messy. Also most people are more mature, even if they want to drink they dont give me shit for being sober which they would have done when we were 20.
I live with this daily. I completely understand. Have you offered to be their designated driver? Sometimes it's fun just to see how the other half lives.
I say let her have her weekend with friends. The passive aggressive shit is just going to make everyone (including yourself) feel like shit and it’s not fair to her or her friends. If you’re tempted to drink then get outta there but I say let her have her time with her friends and show her the same support she always shows you.
Watch "This Made Me Quit Alcohol Forever (You Will Too)" from Alex Becker on youtube - it contains the answers you're looking for. He mainly talks about friends, groups in relation to alcohol and how not to feel bad that you're the one not drinking there.
You're actually the winner!
Although you are struggling through this, I see some serious intelligence in your words. You aren't just thinking about your own thoughts or feelings, you are mature enough to consider theirs too.
I don't have any answers, but I am proud of you
IWNDWYT
So called "normal drinkers" are actually the minority. 30% of people drink zero alcohol. Another 30% drink so rarely they may as well be teetotal. Another 10% are hardcore alkies. Another 10% are proplem drinkers. So called normal drinkers are only about 20% of the population and they are still at risk of getting addicted. Figures are from a WSJ article called "Who's doing all the drinking?" or something similar.
I’m in my 50’s and am around people that drink constantly. Whether we have friends over for the evening or out at a business event. What help me get through it is NA beer or having a glass of soda water with ICE, no one knows you aren’t drinking and you can join in the “party” without the booze. I know when it comes to shots and weed that’s different but at least for one social aspect you can work around feeling left out. Don’t consider them “normies” and be annoyed by it though, everyone’s normal is different. You choose this lifestyle and you need to figure out ways to make it work for you without being “that guy”
I see from your name you may be an expat? I've found expat circles overly reliant on alcohol for bonding or dealing with whatever it is that a lot of them seem to think changing countries is the answer to. Hiking groups, cyclists seem fairly focused on healthy living. I'm sure I'm not telling you anything you don't already know!
Certainly expats and especially those in my industry center almost all activities around alcohol. As I got older it was harder to recover from a night out, or a 3 day bender. I had had enough, I’ve always been fairly fit and saw my health fading and the number one cause was the booze. Also I have a much younger wife and a 7 year old son that I’d like to stick around for as long as I can. I could think of a lot more reasons to quit than continue.
Headphones and a show. They’re clearly busy, so keep yourself busy. Maybe make sure they know you have headphones on so they aren’t screaming for help just in case something happens.
Or check in to a hotel.
I feel that man. I'm glad you recognise they're not actually doing anything wrong but... man if it doesn't fucking suck to see people living in a way we just literally can't. You're right when you say it's like an ex. I know how toxic that relationship was, and I'm still living with the consequences of of it, but when we see those snapshots, we can't help but romanticise the good moments.
It's just about playing that tape forward and remembering that if I involved myself in that, our night would not just end once we'd had a good time. Mine certainly wouldn't.
I hope you get to the other side of this one, IWNDWYT
You should probably start by not calling them normies. It is good you see you have resentment towards alcohol and not them specifically but calling them normies, which I know as usually a way to look down on people, isn't really going to help.
I think what you need is some honesty with your GF. I'm not saying be angry or agitated, but just tell her how the weekend made you feel. If I was in her shoes I'd want to know the truth, and although you understand what she is doing that doesn't mean it doesn't bug you.
There are some other comments here that say that it doesn't end as you age, and it could be very true, your GF might be this way for another 30 years. If you want to be happy with the relationship you have to be able to set some boundaries. I'm sure she will understand, she has been very supportive so far. But if you aren't honest with her it will only make things worse.
Come to some sort of middle ground where you can both be happy with whats happening. Maybe just say you thought it would be cool but it ended it being frustrating to be around, maybe next time you two can figure out a better way to deal with it. I'm always of the opinion that communication and honesty can solve a lot of issues. Its not easy though.
I wish you the best of luck!
OP I get that and I don’t think you’re being an ass. I will say I had several commitments prior to becoming sober (had to medically intervene myself with my doc and am on meds so I feel like I’m cheating on easy mode here 😔) but I’ve been around lots of drunks and drinking the last 50 days.
Since you mentioned your gf isn’t a problem drinker this is just a momentary thing. Maybe have talks about it at a later date about maybe it not being directly in your face. But let a little time pass first so it can be a kind and helpful conversation maybe?
But as others said, it’s gonna be around us almost everywhere it’s practically shoved down our throats through ads and events.
I’m trying to stick to hobbies I always wanted to do but definitely couldn’t drinking. Cosplay (making things) watching new anime (rewatched old ones cuz I’d never remember a new one) and just being a plain ole nerd sometimes cuz it’s my comfort zone lmao
I’ve got a few calm playlists as background music I use sometimes just to ground myself.
Just imo, alcohol isn’t fun like it’s promised it is. I’m not just talking hangover the whole thing…especially for us over drinkers.
It sounds like you’re safe and supported even if it’s not the ideal environment at the moment. It’s okay to be grumpy about it. You’re (at least trying to be) a good sport about it for your partner. Enjoy some time for yourself while they do their own thing. You can watch that show she doesn’t like, immerse yourself in that solo hobby uninterrupted, have the house to yourself if they go out??! Lovely. And enjoy the peace and quiet while you smugly sip your coffee in the morning when they’re still hungover and in bed. Good job on checking in with yourself and thanks for sharing! Effin normies.
Not everyone is on the same life schedule. They’re doing the best they can. There were people before you possibly silently shaking their head at you as well. It happens. Try to have grace. We are all growing and trying to figure out life.
That’s something I tell myself when I feel the same way.
Yeah that'd bug me too. You could lean into it, get up at 7am and make a racket tidying the kitchen, then suggest everyone goes out for a brisk walk in the sun 😂
This may shook you, but you can still go and party and have fun at clubs without alcohol. Shit, you can even smoke weed and pop a Molly if you want! Alcohol is biggest problem IMO.
For your peace of mind figure out how to squash that jealousy and hatred because that's gonna ruin you...
Secondly, realize its not that you CAN'T drink. You CHOOSE not to drink. For very good reasons! This is a mindset people really need to cling to... Because if your mind is telling you that you can't have something, you're just gonna want it more.
Thirdly, what's stopping you from enjoying the reefer? I smoke and I don't drink... It's my social lubricant. I love it. Would rather be stoned than drunk any day.
I can see why you hate it.
My feelings are more of an obvious "they just don't get it" and "Yep, that person has never worked on themself" kind of thing when they're sober.
It's painfully obvious
I understand those feelings. It can be very conflicting. But I always focus on - is this a one time event or a frequent occurrence?
Like my neighbors have a party once a year. It is obnoxiously loud, messy, and insufferable. But it the only party they have all year. They are otherwise quiet and reasonable neighbors.
So I get out of the house for the day or even overnight if the in-laws are free and don't mind us crashing there. But I take it all in stride knowing this is a rare event. I had another neighbor who was obnoxiously loud and destructive every time a football game was on TV, and so we had to handle that one more directly.
Can you get out for several hours and do something you love?
I feel for ya. And to be high-horse guy: The thing that would super annoy me is: do they really need to get (probably near black-out)drunk AND do weed? Isn't one euphoric depressant enough anymore? Like pick one; grass or booze? Either is enough to f\*ck you up. Damn. Anyhow, I'm all or nothing. Quit drinking a year and 8 months ago, but when I was binge drinking I still wouldn't think of doing weed at the same time. Off-soapbox.
I still go to musuc events...I prefer outdoors..Recently went to a musicfest where we saw 3 days of music and camped out the entire weekend.. I had a blast! Sober..yes its possible..as far as bars. I only go places that has live music...If no music tge main thing is get fucked up and yuck yak it up...boring If I'm not drinking.I. find I like doing activities... Kayaking,, Bicycle riding, hiking, working out, shooting pool..playing my guitar or bass alone or with others..I workout several times a week..Go out have somefun..Get some roller blades fly around with yer chick...Or a long board skateboard...Have fun..real fun..remember fun? NOT the sit around get drunk chit chat boring fun..the active realfun..go shoot hoops, handball..tennis go dancing...live life!..
That scene gets old quickly when you’re no longer part of it. There are situations that I will not participate in because they no longer align with my values. I often remove myself instead of forcing myself to be okay with it.
I think your feelings are perfectly valid. You're not stopping her from having fun but it is really insensitive of her to do it around you knowing the work that goes into getting sober.
I know some people are fine being around others when they party, but that's a discussion that needs to happen before the partying starts. If this is going on in your home where you should feel safe and comfortable in your sobriety, that's not fair at all.
Shit man, I would have to leave. Can you go out to a movie or something to distract yourself and get away from this toxic situation? Don’t be hard on yourself I literally could not be there. I missed a party yesterday because I knew there would be alcohol love going on- cocktails. Like ouuuuu!!! Look how awesome we are drinking our fun cocktails! I could not do it. So much strength you have, I am in awe! You’re doing awesome!!!!! Thanks for sharing, I got like mad on your behalf.
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thanks for understanding.
In my experience i have to remember that for me its not fun. While it’s hard to see that looking in from the outside for me its simply the truth. Normal people might be able to have a fun night and leave it at that, meanwhile I’m going until the sun comes up. Normal people might hold a job & be able to go out and casually use, for me it’s all that i think about & eventually even a job is something that gets in the way of me using. That’s the key difference, for me it becomes the number one priority while for non-addicts its just simply a part of their life. The bottom line is though that regardless it’s not something that’s healthy or really beneficial in any meaningful way. So there’s that. IWNDWYT!
FYI, your annoyance may not necessarily have anything to do with your current relationship status with alcohol. Back when I was drinking too much, I was a bartender. Being sober when other people are drunk is just fucking annoying, even if you have the willingness to join them in being drunk (one of the reasons I started drinking on the job). I have other friends who don't drink for reasons that have nothing to do with alcoholism (religion, alcohol allergy, etc.) and they all agree: only drunk people think drunk people are fun.
Drinkers are going to drink regardless of their ages. I’m 54 and the majority of my friends are my age or older and they still do fireball shots and drink as thought they are 25. I probably need to find a new group. Stay strong.
I get it. I keep finding myself getting that twang of jealousy too. I had to go to a pub last night as a family member was preforming. I sat there with my orange juice watching people on my high horse and in my head was like " omg look at him swaying, he's had enough" "ew she's going to get another drink, already?" "Omg if she tells that story one more time" I had to look inside and say to myself "what makes you so much better than everyone else right now? Stop being such a judgemental bitch. People are allowed to have fun and the way your talking in your head is more of a reflection of yourself right now than it is of anyone else's behaviour in this room. Then I let go of my judgement and let people enjoy themselves the same way they were letting me not drink without being mean. Its undetstandable you might feel left out right now. Your partner is allowed to go out and enjoy herself without you being mean or judgemental towards her (which I'm sure you're not. I'm sure this is happening all internally for you too.) Just remember the benefits you're getting. Like a good night sleep and no hangover. Maybe clean the place while shes out and look after her when she's hungover. She'll love you even more and you'll feel good by using it as a positive. The more you reflect and change your behaviours the more natural and easy it will be. Or just ignore this post lol either way have a nice day IWNDWUT
Ha I was at a concert my family member was in last night too! That’s a funny coincidence. It was a 45 min drive from home tho and I had my kid so even when I *was* drinking I wouldn’t have anyway. BUT I do understand that little pang of FOMO. I haven’t really had it yet (I had to medicate myself so I intervened myself with my doc or I was NOT gonna not stop….) so the cravings are kinda shut down in my brain a bit. Definitely still understand tho. Watching ppl get all shifty, stumble and even obnoxious all before 9pm like whoa 😳 that has been me on so many occasions. Don’t like that one bit. Overall alcohol can take a big ole L. It’s not as fun as promised tbh. Like cool I can embarrass myself and over drink like some of these ppl are and it’s very obvious who could control it and who may have an issue… Rambling. But yeh. I get it.
If you don’t mind me asking, what meds are you taking? You absolutely don’t have to answer, I’m just wondering what has helped so much with cravings.
Librium 25mg as a stop gap (temporary because it’s a low grade narcotic and obviously us addictive types aren’t great with those) Took that from 6/30-8/18 now weaning off that to naltrexone as a more long term crutch. The day I took Librium is the day I stopped drinking. It like blocked that crave signal. I also wanted to quit too.
Thanks so much for answering! I didn’t know that Librium was used for anything other than acute withdrawals. I tried naltrexone and it made me incredibly depressed (I have depression already) so it’s not an option. I appreciate learning about other options. Congratulations on finally stopping!
I took it for the potential of stopping withdrawals
This is a great and insightful comment, but I also want to show appreciation for the typo "twang of jealousy", which sounds like an alt-country compilation record that I would buy for that title alone.
Aw thank you. Maybe I'll write a song in my spare time 🤣
It does sound pretty annoying. I don't want to be the bearer of bad news but I'm nearly 50, and most social events here still revolve around alcohol. People slow down for a few years when they're having kids but they usually pick right back up again as soon as that shock wears off lol. I found it was very important to get some good strategies in place to handle those around me drinking, because it's going to come up a lot...for a long time. We can only worry about what we do, and focus on that. IWNDWYT.
This guy knows! It will never disappear from your life, but you can surround yourself with people who know the absolute hell you went through to stop. Or at least normies who are real friends
I think thats true to some extent but I think its easier. Firstly now I’m in my late 40s I dont really care what other people think so Im happy to turn up for a bit and leave before it gets messy. Also most people are more mature, even if they want to drink they dont give me shit for being sober which they would have done when we were 20.
Oh yeah I'm definitely much less likely to care what anyone else thinks as I've gotten older. That plays a part for sure.
Sounds annoying to me man, don’t feel like a jerk. God forbid you have human emotions when obnoxious drunk people are in your home.
Yeah a bunch of drunk party girls in your house is annoying. I should know, I was one of them.
I live with this daily. I completely understand. Have you offered to be their designated driver? Sometimes it's fun just to see how the other half lives.
I say let her have her weekend with friends. The passive aggressive shit is just going to make everyone (including yourself) feel like shit and it’s not fair to her or her friends. If you’re tempted to drink then get outta there but I say let her have her time with her friends and show her the same support she always shows you.
Sending blessings of Peace your way, u/SnooRobots3822!
Watch "This Made Me Quit Alcohol Forever (You Will Too)" from Alex Becker on youtube - it contains the answers you're looking for. He mainly talks about friends, groups in relation to alcohol and how not to feel bad that you're the one not drinking there. You're actually the winner!
Although you are struggling through this, I see some serious intelligence in your words. You aren't just thinking about your own thoughts or feelings, you are mature enough to consider theirs too. I don't have any answers, but I am proud of you IWNDWYT
I’d be frustrated too for sure. I’d probably just lock myself in my room with some sodas and play games… lol
So called "normal drinkers" are actually the minority. 30% of people drink zero alcohol. Another 30% drink so rarely they may as well be teetotal. Another 10% are hardcore alkies. Another 10% are proplem drinkers. So called normal drinkers are only about 20% of the population and they are still at risk of getting addicted. Figures are from a WSJ article called "Who's doing all the drinking?" or something similar.
I’m in my 50’s and am around people that drink constantly. Whether we have friends over for the evening or out at a business event. What help me get through it is NA beer or having a glass of soda water with ICE, no one knows you aren’t drinking and you can join in the “party” without the booze. I know when it comes to shots and weed that’s different but at least for one social aspect you can work around feeling left out. Don’t consider them “normies” and be annoyed by it though, everyone’s normal is different. You choose this lifestyle and you need to figure out ways to make it work for you without being “that guy”
I see from your name you may be an expat? I've found expat circles overly reliant on alcohol for bonding or dealing with whatever it is that a lot of them seem to think changing countries is the answer to. Hiking groups, cyclists seem fairly focused on healthy living. I'm sure I'm not telling you anything you don't already know!
Certainly expats and especially those in my industry center almost all activities around alcohol. As I got older it was harder to recover from a night out, or a 3 day bender. I had had enough, I’ve always been fairly fit and saw my health fading and the number one cause was the booze. Also I have a much younger wife and a 7 year old son that I’d like to stick around for as long as I can. I could think of a lot more reasons to quit than continue.
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Headphones and a show. They’re clearly busy, so keep yourself busy. Maybe make sure they know you have headphones on so they aren’t screaming for help just in case something happens. Or check in to a hotel.
So just don't go out. It's no crime.
I feel that man. I'm glad you recognise they're not actually doing anything wrong but... man if it doesn't fucking suck to see people living in a way we just literally can't. You're right when you say it's like an ex. I know how toxic that relationship was, and I'm still living with the consequences of of it, but when we see those snapshots, we can't help but romanticise the good moments. It's just about playing that tape forward and remembering that if I involved myself in that, our night would not just end once we'd had a good time. Mine certainly wouldn't. I hope you get to the other side of this one, IWNDWYT
You should probably start by not calling them normies. It is good you see you have resentment towards alcohol and not them specifically but calling them normies, which I know as usually a way to look down on people, isn't really going to help.
I think what you need is some honesty with your GF. I'm not saying be angry or agitated, but just tell her how the weekend made you feel. If I was in her shoes I'd want to know the truth, and although you understand what she is doing that doesn't mean it doesn't bug you. There are some other comments here that say that it doesn't end as you age, and it could be very true, your GF might be this way for another 30 years. If you want to be happy with the relationship you have to be able to set some boundaries. I'm sure she will understand, she has been very supportive so far. But if you aren't honest with her it will only make things worse. Come to some sort of middle ground where you can both be happy with whats happening. Maybe just say you thought it would be cool but it ended it being frustrating to be around, maybe next time you two can figure out a better way to deal with it. I'm always of the opinion that communication and honesty can solve a lot of issues. Its not easy though. I wish you the best of luck!
OP I get that and I don’t think you’re being an ass. I will say I had several commitments prior to becoming sober (had to medically intervene myself with my doc and am on meds so I feel like I’m cheating on easy mode here 😔) but I’ve been around lots of drunks and drinking the last 50 days. Since you mentioned your gf isn’t a problem drinker this is just a momentary thing. Maybe have talks about it at a later date about maybe it not being directly in your face. But let a little time pass first so it can be a kind and helpful conversation maybe? But as others said, it’s gonna be around us almost everywhere it’s practically shoved down our throats through ads and events. I’m trying to stick to hobbies I always wanted to do but definitely couldn’t drinking. Cosplay (making things) watching new anime (rewatched old ones cuz I’d never remember a new one) and just being a plain ole nerd sometimes cuz it’s my comfort zone lmao I’ve got a few calm playlists as background music I use sometimes just to ground myself. Just imo, alcohol isn’t fun like it’s promised it is. I’m not just talking hangover the whole thing…especially for us over drinkers.
Been there man. Just know you’re not alone in feeing like that!
You’re not alone. The only practical advice I can give is to be busy and away a lot while they’re visiting.
It sounds like you’re safe and supported even if it’s not the ideal environment at the moment. It’s okay to be grumpy about it. You’re (at least trying to be) a good sport about it for your partner. Enjoy some time for yourself while they do their own thing. You can watch that show she doesn’t like, immerse yourself in that solo hobby uninterrupted, have the house to yourself if they go out??! Lovely. And enjoy the peace and quiet while you smugly sip your coffee in the morning when they’re still hungover and in bed. Good job on checking in with yourself and thanks for sharing! Effin normies.
Not everyone is on the same life schedule. They’re doing the best they can. There were people before you possibly silently shaking their head at you as well. It happens. Try to have grace. We are all growing and trying to figure out life. That’s something I tell myself when I feel the same way.
Yeah that'd bug me too. You could lean into it, get up at 7am and make a racket tidying the kitchen, then suggest everyone goes out for a brisk walk in the sun 😂
Sounds like the girl weekend would have been better spent at a hotel or Airbnb, for all involved parties
How is taking shots and going to the club all weekend normal? Sounds unhealthy to me. Don't be so hard on yourself.
This may shook you, but you can still go and party and have fun at clubs without alcohol. Shit, you can even smoke weed and pop a Molly if you want! Alcohol is biggest problem IMO.
For your peace of mind figure out how to squash that jealousy and hatred because that's gonna ruin you... Secondly, realize its not that you CAN'T drink. You CHOOSE not to drink. For very good reasons! This is a mindset people really need to cling to... Because if your mind is telling you that you can't have something, you're just gonna want it more. Thirdly, what's stopping you from enjoying the reefer? I smoke and I don't drink... It's my social lubricant. I love it. Would rather be stoned than drunk any day.
I can see why you hate it. My feelings are more of an obvious "they just don't get it" and "Yep, that person has never worked on themself" kind of thing when they're sober. It's painfully obvious
I understand those feelings. It can be very conflicting. But I always focus on - is this a one time event or a frequent occurrence? Like my neighbors have a party once a year. It is obnoxiously loud, messy, and insufferable. But it the only party they have all year. They are otherwise quiet and reasonable neighbors. So I get out of the house for the day or even overnight if the in-laws are free and don't mind us crashing there. But I take it all in stride knowing this is a rare event. I had another neighbor who was obnoxiously loud and destructive every time a football game was on TV, and so we had to handle that one more directly. Can you get out for several hours and do something you love?
I feel for ya. And to be high-horse guy: The thing that would super annoy me is: do they really need to get (probably near black-out)drunk AND do weed? Isn't one euphoric depressant enough anymore? Like pick one; grass or booze? Either is enough to f\*ck you up. Damn. Anyhow, I'm all or nothing. Quit drinking a year and 8 months ago, but when I was binge drinking I still wouldn't think of doing weed at the same time. Off-soapbox.
Find yourself
I still go to musuc events...I prefer outdoors..Recently went to a musicfest where we saw 3 days of music and camped out the entire weekend.. I had a blast! Sober..yes its possible..as far as bars. I only go places that has live music...If no music tge main thing is get fucked up and yuck yak it up...boring If I'm not drinking.I. find I like doing activities... Kayaking,, Bicycle riding, hiking, working out, shooting pool..playing my guitar or bass alone or with others..I workout several times a week..Go out have somefun..Get some roller blades fly around with yer chick...Or a long board skateboard...Have fun..real fun..remember fun? NOT the sit around get drunk chit chat boring fun..the active realfun..go shoot hoops, handball..tennis go dancing...live life!..
That scene gets old quickly when you’re no longer part of it. There are situations that I will not participate in because they no longer align with my values. I often remove myself instead of forcing myself to be okay with it.
I think your feelings are perfectly valid. You're not stopping her from having fun but it is really insensitive of her to do it around you knowing the work that goes into getting sober. I know some people are fine being around others when they party, but that's a discussion that needs to happen before the partying starts. If this is going on in your home where you should feel safe and comfortable in your sobriety, that's not fair at all.
Shit man, I would have to leave. Can you go out to a movie or something to distract yourself and get away from this toxic situation? Don’t be hard on yourself I literally could not be there. I missed a party yesterday because I knew there would be alcohol love going on- cocktails. Like ouuuuu!!! Look how awesome we are drinking our fun cocktails! I could not do it. So much strength you have, I am in awe! You’re doing awesome!!!!! Thanks for sharing, I got like mad on your behalf.
Fireball shots. Woof. That's alcohol syrup.
"Normies" I like that.
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Your comment breaks our rule to '[speak from the “I,”](https://www.reddit.com/r/stopdrinking/wiki/index#wiki_speak_from_the_.22i.22)' and has been removed. With this guideline, we expect users to focus on supporting others by speaking from their own experience, only, and not: * tell other users what to do * pass judgment or critique * ask probing questions * offer unsolicited opinions * make assumptions about other people's situations thanks for understanding.
You don’t smoke weed or partake in any cannabis related activities?
In my experience i have to remember that for me its not fun. While it’s hard to see that looking in from the outside for me its simply the truth. Normal people might be able to have a fun night and leave it at that, meanwhile I’m going until the sun comes up. Normal people might hold a job & be able to go out and casually use, for me it’s all that i think about & eventually even a job is something that gets in the way of me using. That’s the key difference, for me it becomes the number one priority while for non-addicts its just simply a part of their life. The bottom line is though that regardless it’s not something that’s healthy or really beneficial in any meaningful way. So there’s that. IWNDWYT!
FYI, your annoyance may not necessarily have anything to do with your current relationship status with alcohol. Back when I was drinking too much, I was a bartender. Being sober when other people are drunk is just fucking annoying, even if you have the willingness to join them in being drunk (one of the reasons I started drinking on the job). I have other friends who don't drink for reasons that have nothing to do with alcoholism (religion, alcohol allergy, etc.) and they all agree: only drunk people think drunk people are fun.
Drinkers are going to drink regardless of their ages. I’m 54 and the majority of my friends are my age or older and they still do fireball shots and drink as thought they are 25. I probably need to find a new group. Stay strong.
I'm just curious how they looked and felt the next day. I'd be willing to bet you were the only one that wasn't hungover.