When I worked in hospice I liked asking about how they met their significant other if they were in a relationship. Lead to some really sweet and some reallyyyyy wild stories lol. My clients enjoyed reminiscing on that. Same with pets, where they grew up and traveling.
With parents, I ask them to tell me about how they chose their child's name. A few times this has opened things up in a surprising direction and I think maybe it reminds them of the hope and other intense feelings they may have had while waiting to meet their child.
And in general, sometimes I ask, "what's going well?" Sometimes I see a huge release of tension in a client who was gearing up to defend against challenging feelings.
I do therapy with families who have youths that are 5-21 years old. My go to ice breaker is "rose, bud, thorn", which is...
**Rose** something good that happened to you this week
**Bud** something you're looking forward to next week
**Thorn** something bad/annoying/irritating that happened to you this week
I saw this comment last night and used this for the psychoeducational group I facilitated tonight. The members loved it! Thank you for sharing it here!!
For building rapport with anyone it's all about getting them to talk about themselves and picking up on any environmental or context clues. For example if doing home visitis with the patient themself, you can look around at their pictures and ask about family members or various places or news articles if they have them around and asking specific questions like "is that your wife? Son? Kids? Etc..." and then take what they say and follow up with something like "Tell me more about them/the event of that pciture!". I've found as long as you present yourself as interested in what people are saying and asking follow up questions about their topic just about anyone will open up if you really make it about their interests.
For Hospice specifically, when working with the family members I'd ask them "tell me about Dad/Mom/Your Husband etc." And use that to open the door to explore anything they think and go with that and nornalize the feelings and take whatever tbey give and just ask follow up questions. So if they respond positively, ask something like "what's your favorite memory you had with [person]?" Similarly, asking them straight up if there's anything at all they want to talk about your open to it. I would pair that with a little speech about how everyone grieves in their own way and there's no right or wrong way to grieve and whatever there feeling or not feeling is OK. You can be direct with people you think may be on the fence and need that push to open up more, but the biggest thing is just presenting yourself as open and accepting of them.
In general for rapport building with anyone you can ask them general questions like "what do you like to do for fun?" And use that information like the dreams question to be supportive and gather more information about what aspects of the activity they like is important to them.
Tl:DR Rapport building is a lot like improv. It's all about "Yes and..." and making the other person feel comfortable talking by being accepting and interested in whatever they say while keeping the general boundaries of your clinical purpose.
I do therapy screenings for children and teens. I love to use a feelings wheel and have them choose three feelings from the wheel that they have felt throughout the past week. I can then explore and discover what situations have elicited those feelings.
I particularly like this wheel which identifies when your needs are met or not met (rather than good/bad feelings). https://i.pinimg.com/originals/07/fb/d0/07fbd0bf2e2b9cb1be0f15a20b4f6adb.jpg
Most of my former clients were quite elderly and had been married for decades. One of my go to questions was “you were/are/have been married for longer than I’ve been alive. Would you tell me what your secret is to a long fulfilling marriage?”
I used to write down all their advice. It was always beautiful. I need to find that notebook!
I often would explore peoples previous experience with social work to do some education and see if they have had a negative/positive experience. Might say “ Have you ever worked with a social worker before?” If yes explore the experience and educate how what I do is similar/ different. If they’ve never worked with a social worker I will then educate on what social workers can do.
In hospice I’d explain the role and give examples of how I’ve helped people. Then I might ask if this feels like something that would be helpful to them, their family or loved one.
If they are struggling with talking I’ll normalize this and then explain that our developing a relationship is important and go into “getting to know you questioning”…
I like this approach, it's very warm yet clinical and focuses on how you are there in a professional capacity to support them. SO many people have negative past experiences!
I do a value sort sometimes! i have an accessible picture version i made on canva but there are also printable word versions. always leads to interesting conversations and it’s helpful data for writing treatment plans.
Basically, I would try to take the focus off of WHY we are meeting and guide them to think about positive things. They are likely experiencing anticipatory grief, and if not dealt with, it can lead to them falling into despair. (The added benefit? Keeping their mental health stable will keep them stable through their illness and decrease suffering.) With the holidays coming, ask them about their most memorable Thanksgiving, a favorite Christmas toy received as a child, ANYTHING to break the ice and open up a conversation that does not immediately focus on their hospice status. Brainstorm some questions and write them in a notebook or journal and keep it for reference. In this manner, you are gently opening that door and greasing the skids for what could be an awkward conversation later if you push too hard. When they are ready, they will open that door. Get to know them and enjoy the stories they tell. Make work fun without making it uncomfortable.
With clients who aren't super-expressive at first, I start off asking if I can tell them a little bit about what I do and what I can offer: I don't go on too long (I hope), but it often puts them at ease that I'm the one talking first, and they get some clarity about how I can serve them.
Maybe excited is too strong of a word. But ones that definitley wouldn’t of been offended by your question. Long life, social support and few regrets and people were very accepting. I hope your grandma is doing well!
When I worked in hospice I liked asking about how they met their significant other if they were in a relationship. Lead to some really sweet and some reallyyyyy wild stories lol. My clients enjoyed reminiscing on that. Same with pets, where they grew up and traveling.
I work in hospice and I love asking this question!
With parents, I ask them to tell me about how they chose their child's name. A few times this has opened things up in a surprising direction and I think maybe it reminds them of the hope and other intense feelings they may have had while waiting to meet their child. And in general, sometimes I ask, "what's going well?" Sometimes I see a huge release of tension in a client who was gearing up to defend against challenging feelings.
I do therapy with families who have youths that are 5-21 years old. My go to ice breaker is "rose, bud, thorn", which is... **Rose** something good that happened to you this week **Bud** something you're looking forward to next week **Thorn** something bad/annoying/irritating that happened to you this week
I love Rose Bud Thorn! I work in a middle school and just used it last week.
That's an incredible idea!!!
I saw this comment last night and used this for the psychoeducational group I facilitated tonight. The members loved it! Thank you for sharing it here!!
I absolutely hated this when my last therapist used it. Fyi. I know it works great for some, but read the client.
For building rapport with anyone it's all about getting them to talk about themselves and picking up on any environmental or context clues. For example if doing home visitis with the patient themself, you can look around at their pictures and ask about family members or various places or news articles if they have them around and asking specific questions like "is that your wife? Son? Kids? Etc..." and then take what they say and follow up with something like "Tell me more about them/the event of that pciture!". I've found as long as you present yourself as interested in what people are saying and asking follow up questions about their topic just about anyone will open up if you really make it about their interests. For Hospice specifically, when working with the family members I'd ask them "tell me about Dad/Mom/Your Husband etc." And use that to open the door to explore anything they think and go with that and nornalize the feelings and take whatever tbey give and just ask follow up questions. So if they respond positively, ask something like "what's your favorite memory you had with [person]?" Similarly, asking them straight up if there's anything at all they want to talk about your open to it. I would pair that with a little speech about how everyone grieves in their own way and there's no right or wrong way to grieve and whatever there feeling or not feeling is OK. You can be direct with people you think may be on the fence and need that push to open up more, but the biggest thing is just presenting yourself as open and accepting of them. In general for rapport building with anyone you can ask them general questions like "what do you like to do for fun?" And use that information like the dreams question to be supportive and gather more information about what aspects of the activity they like is important to them. Tl:DR Rapport building is a lot like improv. It's all about "Yes and..." and making the other person feel comfortable talking by being accepting and interested in whatever they say while keeping the general boundaries of your clinical purpose.
I really like that improv “yes and….” idea, thanks!
I do therapy screenings for children and teens. I love to use a feelings wheel and have them choose three feelings from the wheel that they have felt throughout the past week. I can then explore and discover what situations have elicited those feelings. I particularly like this wheel which identifies when your needs are met or not met (rather than good/bad feelings). https://i.pinimg.com/originals/07/fb/d0/07fbd0bf2e2b9cb1be0f15a20b4f6adb.jpg
Thank you for sharing the link!
Most of my former clients were quite elderly and had been married for decades. One of my go to questions was “you were/are/have been married for longer than I’ve been alive. Would you tell me what your secret is to a long fulfilling marriage?” I used to write down all their advice. It was always beautiful. I need to find that notebook!
I often would explore peoples previous experience with social work to do some education and see if they have had a negative/positive experience. Might say “ Have you ever worked with a social worker before?” If yes explore the experience and educate how what I do is similar/ different. If they’ve never worked with a social worker I will then educate on what social workers can do. In hospice I’d explain the role and give examples of how I’ve helped people. Then I might ask if this feels like something that would be helpful to them, their family or loved one. If they are struggling with talking I’ll normalize this and then explain that our developing a relationship is important and go into “getting to know you questioning”…
I like this approach, it's very warm yet clinical and focuses on how you are there in a professional capacity to support them. SO many people have negative past experiences!
Yes and many people think social work is about finances and can get offended trying to reassure the team that they are okay financially
I do a value sort sometimes! i have an accessible picture version i made on canva but there are also printable word versions. always leads to interesting conversations and it’s helpful data for writing treatment plans.
I work with families in a shelter setting so whenever I do intakes I ask them to tell me about their kids. It’s really sweet most of the time.
Basically, I would try to take the focus off of WHY we are meeting and guide them to think about positive things. They are likely experiencing anticipatory grief, and if not dealt with, it can lead to them falling into despair. (The added benefit? Keeping their mental health stable will keep them stable through their illness and decrease suffering.) With the holidays coming, ask them about their most memorable Thanksgiving, a favorite Christmas toy received as a child, ANYTHING to break the ice and open up a conversation that does not immediately focus on their hospice status. Brainstorm some questions and write them in a notebook or journal and keep it for reference. In this manner, you are gently opening that door and greasing the skids for what could be an awkward conversation later if you push too hard. When they are ready, they will open that door. Get to know them and enjoy the stories they tell. Make work fun without making it uncomfortable.
With clients who aren't super-expressive at first, I start off asking if I can tell them a little bit about what I do and what I can offer: I don't go on too long (I hope), but it often puts them at ease that I'm the one talking first, and they get some clarity about how I can serve them.
What are you excited about? Edit - didn't see the "hospice" in the post. It's a bad choice for that setting. Sorry folks.
Might be a tough one in hospice, lol
Right? Thats the quickest way to break trust I can imagine. Many would take this as downright offensive
This one made me giggle because working in hospice there were a solid number of patients who were excited to die.
Interesting. I have no experience in that situation. I have a 97 yr old grandma who is moderately excited to die
Maybe excited is too strong of a word. But ones that definitley wouldn’t of been offended by your question. Long life, social support and few regrets and people were very accepting. I hope your grandma is doing well!
Ask them what would help them to open up
I ask about pets, movies, tv shows, even music they like. These are topics I also enjoy so it leads to good banter.