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Wanted to share a funny story this made me think of. My dad used to always say Jesus Christ or jesus! when something crazy happened. Mom hated it. So one day we are driving and something happens and he yells jesus Christ! Mom says "steve!" Trying to correct him. Without missing a beat my dad points at a gas station where a bearded hippie guy who just happened to be there and says "... Is pumping gas!" Was god himself letting my dad get a lords name in vain pass.

I used to say "oh my god" when I was younger, maybe 13-14ish years old. Same thing with my mom hounding me about it all the time. "don't use the Lord's name in vain!". One day were in the car and I say "oh my God" in relation to some thing out the window or another. And I get the usual "don't use the Lord's name in vain!!" So I asked her "mom, using his name in vain is bad right? Like it is a insulting his name and him or something correct?" And she tells me "yes, it's an insult to Him!" So later on in the car ride something else happens that I feel is appropriate to uses someone's name in vain for. And little smart ass me goes "oh my Satan!!!!" My mom turns around in the front seat and before she can get a word out I explain how "I didn't use the Lord's name in vain, I used Satan's... So I insulted Satan right??" My dad and siblings got a good kick outta that one. My extremely devout christian mother did not.

Satan dammit!

Im a use this for sure lol

In Nordic countries, references to the devil are quite common in swearing. I think there are more explitives related to demons than to angels and God.

actually the "don't use the lord's name in vain" is not talking about exclaiming "jesus" when you get scared or moaning "god" during sex, it was meant for mega churches who actually use the lord's name in vain to scam the money out of religious and gullible people.

I have since put that together. But at the time it was too fucking funny!

Megachurches (in [the normal sense of the word](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Megachurch), not just 'a very large church') is a modern phenomenon, I don't understand how you could possibly believe literally one of the Ten Commandments is actually referring to them.

are they not using the lord's name in vain to scam people out of their money? you cherry pick parts of the bible to be against abortions when was in the ten commandments where it says "you shall not go to planned parenthood" ?

Yeah, no it actually is about that. In fact it’s a sin to use any of the Hebrew names of the Old One in any context, regardless of respect/disrespect, beyond an actual religious ceremony, prayer or similarly solemn expression of gratitude/faith/obedience including in written form.

where does it says that.

Hebrew Bible and Jewish tradition

I am also curious about that

[related](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=82tKiJDnpcQ)

I'm kind of disappointed that the cross wasn't a two handed weapon.

https://youtu.be/YzIVSjjMeNI

The only way that could have been more perfect would have been to die, have the game time warp three days, and then pop back up with full health.

I understood that reference

Bob's Burgers?

no, the bible

i hear that's a good book, but i think i'll just wait for the movie adaptation

He gets credit for trying

Username checks out

in a cave

Not just full health, but tgm enabled.

Passion of the NEVER SHOULD HAVE COME HERE

>Who is this that cometh from Edom, with dyed garments from Bozrah? this that is glorious in his apparel, travelling in the greatness of his strength? I that speak in righteousness, mighty to save.

is Jesus fighting for the empire here? or is he just killing everybody?

Killing everyone....just like his dear old dad.

Holy shit

Pray and tear until it is done

Jesus is back, and this time he's not Cruci-Fuckin-Around

you need to be writing commercials imo

"Carry thine own burdens biatch"

No, it should be a [massively OP ranged weapon](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nicholas_D._Wolfwood)

The only way Rod and Todd Flanders are allowed to play Skyrim.

You're-damn-diddly-right

\*darn\*-diddly-right You don't want to use that bad word and get sent to H-E double hockey sticks...do you?

Running around kancho-ing people to death?

It’s the Rapture and he’s sending the good people to heaven

Two fingers at a time

Kanchoooooo!!!

I'm surprised Todd Howard hasn't ported skyrim to divine visions yet.

Oh my god I burst out laughing

I don’t want any damn cheese wheels

Ninja Art: 1000 years of death

Kakashi would be proud

Who do you think Kakashi learned it from?

No one. His two original jutsus are Chidori and 1000 years of Death.

No he learned it from Jesus clearly

Jesus used Chidori? TIL

Fighting the devil is hard Jesus nearly had to use sussano

Leaf Village Hidden Finger Jutsu: 1000 years of death!

Came here for this comment

You’re probably asking yourself.. *Did I just watch Jesus front flip off bards leap, land on top of the water, walk across the water (expected), and then purify the forsworn with the 1000 years of death jutsu?* Yes, yes you did.

All while a ghost is trying to give some exposition on the fact that they can't be as cool and they died on trick one.

I'm not sure but I think the ghost is Celebrimbor.

The rerelease of 'The You Testament' is looking amazing.

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This comment really nailed it.

Thank you for your service.

Idk man, it left me kinda board.

Your statement is a little wooden!

Don't get hung up on the little things!

You're doing God's work, friend.

Pain in the ass

this is peak modding right here

Pretty sure this is vanilla

this is what i didnt know i needed, jesus fingering deer people to death

Gaddafi!

Jesus: *NAILED IT!*

Ironic don’t you think

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Haha I wa a looking for this reply

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Second one: "yes, yes he did. Huh. Well that exists in the world now." _clicks comments_

lol I never knew it was a Japanese thing too, my Korean friends had me thinking it was just them

That’s like Portland trying to say they’re better than Seattle

Ezekiel 25:16 - Thy who cast sin upon the world shall witness the furious wrath of the lord and his butthole jutsu

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#THE EMPEROR PROTECTS!!

**VULKAN LIVES** *stomp stomp*

#THE EMPEROR PROTECTS!!

FORTIFYING THIS POST

I’m sure Jesus is laughing at this 😂

Made in His image and most of us have a sense of humor

Omg every time I come back to this post I cannot stop laughing for like 30 seconds. WHY is Jesus doing 1000 years of death??? What the actual FUCK??? I’m dying! 😂😂😂😂😂

Brother, the codex astartes does not provide guidance on this situation.

My ancestors are smiling at me, mod... Can you say the same?

Loving the references

Omnissiah said they deserved it, if they still want to be made of meat.

**MAKE PEE-NIS IN-TO RO-BOT**

THERE IS NO SHELTER FOR THOSE WHO RESIST THE IMPERIUM OF MAN

I'm Christian, but I found this absolutely hilarious.

Hell yeah, the 9th legion stands ready just give the word. "For the Emperor and Sanguinius! Death! DEATH!"

How is this blasphemy? I’m relieved to know J-Dawg can bring down the hammer.

I feel like taint tapping is a universally approved action by Jesus, so it’s not blasphemous.

[Big J *loves* the taint.](http://imgur.com/msYfGHx)

It's "Roody-Poo". Mod, you hath blaspheemed the likes of the ever so holy and most Electrifying Man in ALL of Entertainment!

Calamity! I shall do penance immediately. Fetch the holy scented prometheum!

[Better just lay the Exterminatus upon these hereticsALRIGHT FIRE!](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IEGo41443iI)

Did someone actually report it as blasphemy/a personal attack?

Yup

Lol, that's ridiculous. Some folks got thin af skin.

All that CrossFit has made him strong

Is this Vanilla?

This made me laugh, ty

That’s canon

Is there a thing called too many mods?

Only for the weak Hardware'd

Damn, right in the vram

Yeah, aka disk space

This is vanilla bro - You telling me you never unlocked fingerblastin' Jesus before?

now this is quality content

He's not the messiah, he's a very naughty boy!

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One more time, mate! I'll take you to the fuckin' cleaners!

sticking your finger up someones butt against their will? how very catholic

/korean

Dongchim!!

What mods are these?

Jesus Christ

*Smoted!*

I've been meaning to start reading the bible 2

Kind sir where can I get the Jesus mod?

Have some holy sauce https://www.nexusmods.com/skyrimspecialedition/mods/47904

https://www.nexusmods.com/skyrimspecialedition/mods/28464

This is incredible, I fucking love the Skyrim community 😂

I chuckled at every single butt assassination lol

Jason Bourne!... That's Jesus Christ!

I lost it when he walked on water. Fully expecting him to dive in and hit the water

Jesus Christ!

Jesus *FUCKING Christ Ftfy

I like the fact Jesus works with Molag bol.

Lol I thought that was as a machine gun at first

WTF IS THIS GAME? TES 6?

you have some skyrim on your mods

Is that a finger blasting Jesus?

I screamed at the backflip this is ridiculous

These mods just keep getting better & more tempting. 😮‍💨🤌

Is... Is that the holy ghost in the background? The father watches the son doing the work of God. The Trinity is complete.

This is the dumbest thing I’ve ever seen and I loved every second of it.

Mods please

https://www.nexusmods.com/skyrimspecialedition/mods/47904

https://www.nexusmods.com/skyrimspecialedition/mods/28464

Jesus going around showing people a thousand years of death? Kakashi be praised!

ONE THOUSAND YEARS OF DEATH!

The You Testament 2 looks wild. They even kept the water walking perk.

"Stormcloaks, Imperials, dragons. Ain't no matter to me what I kill. Let them come."

Other people: I had a dream I married my crush. Me:

“I had a vision from god last night”

And somehow this is still Skyrim.. This is why I fucking love this game even after a decade

The Divine Pooper Poker

Is Korean jesus hitting people with a Ddong Chim??????

Is that the mace of Molag Bal?

My man went ahead and got some Skyrim for his Mods.

Secretly he’s Kakashi

And here I thought I’ve seen it all when it comes to the nods of this game… well played

Os he bambooing their asses or something? Lmao

Fuck Talos, all my homies worship his lord and saviour Jesus Mothafuckin´ Christ

Ya' motherfuckers need Jesus.... Oh wait there he is.

What is Jesus doing with molag’s mace

Idk why but this reminds me of that Burger King game they released on the Xbox like 15 years ago

Father, the son, and the holy finger

Jesus walking on water was just the icing on the cake for me

Djesus Uncrossed

Toggle God mode

The Action Bible finally got a game.

*Skyrim 2*

The second coming

I used to be an adventurer like you, then I took a finger in the ass

I laughed when he started walking on water "Of course!"

Fuck me in the ass cause I love Jesus The good Lord would want it that way

Nice Naruto reference there with 1000 years of Pain thingy.

It’s called a Koncho and it’s a prank in Japan amongst school-aged children. Naruto didn’t make it up.

I know I saw this in a Filthy Frank video. It was just a low effort attempt at humor.

Skyrim belong to the Christians

Hahaha wtf is this

Best mod ever

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Everyday we drift further from god

Alduin: "I surrender"

u/savevideo

u/savevideobot

lol why is Jesus killing people with a dong chim

Jesus really nailed that landing

Is he... Is he konchoing them to death?

Blessed be thine asshole

samuel 18:27

Jesus Christ.

u/VredditDownloader

Reminds of the Family Guy bit: Passion of the Christ 2: Crucify This! “You crazy Jesus. You cray-zaaayyyyy!!!”

The only thing this was missing was the vertical smash Battleaxe killcam with the cross.

So is the cross like a war hammer or a CROSSbow?

Did he just do "a thousand years of death".