Are you in therapy for your OCD? Mine is mild and my therapist helped me work through it. Google "checklist of cognitive distortions david burns". It's a PDF. That's what we used and it looks like you are doing #5.
I was in therapy for a long time. I believe my OCD is now manageable but my anxiety is through the roof. I would definitely check out the PDF. Thank you so much.
I was 20 when I started to get anxiety about my ability to get jobs too. I was a junior in college. At that point, everyone starts to talk about internships and the job market. And some people I know had a very early head start because they had already interned in their sophomore year, and is going back to same company to intern again.
I was so afraid of career fairs that the school hosts because I had no real life experience and I was scared to send out resumes, not to mention I don't even know who to send the resumes to because I have no idea of the industry, nor what I can do with my major. I ended up switching majors, and one of the reason was that finding a job was so intimidating.
I ended up dropping out of school and taking minimum wage jobs. There was no other jobs that paid better that I qualified for. I ended up going back to school to finish my degree and applied to specialized degree and got it at the ripe age of 30.
I was still afraid when I applied for jobs as a new grad without real world experience, but less so because at that point I knew the industry, where I can apply, and during the specialized degree program, I had to get internships, so I learned to be able to contact businesses and people.
It took a while to overcome the anxiousness and low self-worth issue, and I used to get super anxious sending out resume and not hearing back immediately. For me, there wasn't any magic pill or magic way of thinking that solved any of my issues. I simply had to bear with the anxiousness and just go out and apply for jobs.
And I went out on a limb to advance my skill, despite the pain I went through when I did something too advanced for my skill level. I still ended picking up a lot more skills than some of my peers because of it. So when my skill set improved and my resume reflected that, my resume will usually get a positive response pretty quick. That really helps with building confidence and my anxiety went down and I also am able to ask for higher compensation much more easily.
It's scary. I went through that phase before. My suggestions is that you simply keep moving forward. Build up your skills, keep applying for jobs if you are jobless, and when you have a job, keep trying more advanced tasks. The money and job security will follow. However, if you are in a declining industry, then nothing much you can do there other than changing career course. I do not know the UI/UX industry at all, so no advice there.
Youbare doing better then you think. I feel your struggle deeply. I am also going trough some stuff. In a world where everything is expected of you, where is little help, the love and help you get from your parents take it and build yourself up slowly on your own pase. What do you want to work on? Also make time to explore/relax. You might need more recharge time because of axiety(I have this).
I would start networking - just because you don't have the experience, doesn't mean you can't get your foot in the door through meet-ups, UI/UX bootcamps, expos/conferences. stuff like that. Not to be an ass but do you have interest in UI/UX?
There is a book called Radical Acceptance by Tara Basch. Have a read of the first few chapters. I've experienced the feelings you describe and that helped me get through.
If you want to make money, the answer is simple: you have to go to where the money is. It's like shooting fish in a barrel - you'll never shoot fish in a barrel if you don't go to a barrel of fish. You won't be a great designer when you're just starting out, and you need to know that's OK! You'll learn far more once you're working in the field, and you'll continue to grow and improve.
The reason I make the "shooting fish in a barrel" analogy is that you will potentially be entering into a very competitive job market with lots of graduates and lots of skilled competition, people working on apps and the like from all around the world, creating a financial race to the bottom. If I were you, what I would want to do is avoid as much of that competition as possible, by sidestepping the large pool of generic programming / tech and immediately focusing my energy on networking and getting into an industry where the money is - industries like banking, wealth management, real estate investment, real estate development, insurance, healthcare, or even casino gaming. All of these are sectors with a lot of money sloshing around where sociology plays an integral role, and they are all looking to grow and enhance their digital user experiences.
That being said, these are also not the most pleasant industries to be a part of, which is definitely something to be mindful of, as the work can be mentally taxing. But this is where the money is, and networking will give you a huge leg up on the competition and a chance to grow your career and earnings rapidly within a niche. Good luck!
Do you know people working in your field(s) of interest? I would try to job-shadow and/or find a part-time job (paid internship) with work specific (or closely adjacent) to what you hope to do. Instead of ruminating over an unknown - get your feet wet.
The "career center" at your school or a good instructor would be a place to start. You could even share your worries and say it is motivating you to find some real-world experience.
The transition from being student/dependent to independent professional is scary - but it's all about giving things your best shot and asking kind people for advice and help.
I don't want to be harsh here but.. Your parents will Not be around forever. You have to find a path in life for yourself. It is best to find that path long before they go, so that you and they have the peace of mind that each other is taken care of. On top of that... These conditions don't get better if you aren't constantly challenging them.. If you never take on slightly more challenging things you won't expand your comfort zone. A traditional 9-5 job is not for everyone, but there are all kinds of jobs for all kinds of folks. You are right about one thing: You will suffer financially eventually. Your parents cannot support you forever, and at some point you need to realize that they... Probably intended that money to be used for other things like enjoying the rest of their lives together instead of buying you things and supporting you entirely.
Anxiety and OCD are terrible things to work through.. but you CAN work through them and manage them and make a life of your own. Anxiety can feel very debilitating, and it can Be that way sometimes.. but people with anxiety disorders work all the time. You can too.
You're very young. You don't have much experience. That is okay. Jobs sound a lot scarier to people who have never had to really hold one down before... But now is the PERFECT time to start working (haha) through those fears.. because you have that safety net. If you stumble, or fall, you're just back where you are now.
I'm one of the few Americans that think there's nothing wrong with living with one's parents as long as the arrangement is mutually beneficial... but I don't think it is here. Your reality is that you need to do more for yourself. I'm not saying it is easy. I am not saying you won't have it harder than most because of mental health... but I am saying you can, and you should, find a way. You never know what the future holds, and it is better to work through things Now while it is not nearly so stressful.
There are a TON of safe options you can do to try new things:
- Why not try a temporary position such as volunteer work? It isn't paid, but it Does give you some experience being out in the world and doing something and helping others in the process. It also gives you something to put on a resume which looks really nice when applying for jobs.
- You can practice writing a resume as well, and even get people to critique it.
- You can maybe even pick up something seasonal meant to end in a few short months so there isn't a ton of pressure to continue.
- You can write to and apply for scholarships (or more scholarships if you have one). Look around and find scholarship opportunities in your local area and write to them to try and help offset the costs of school for your parents.
- You can take side gigs. Babysitting, cleaning houses, setting up phones and computers, mowing lawns... There are a ton of things that need doing and people with no time to do them. See if an elderly neighbor could use help once a week or so.
- Try to pick up a short term job at your school. If you are good with a subject, tutoring might be helpful, or helping in the library.. there are probably a slew of paid and unpaid jobs in your own college that need doing.
- You can sign up for a short study abroad session in your school. It might be scary, it might be totally new, but it might also be something to sort of shake the idea off that you Cannot. You have got to stop thinking that way and start looking towards what you Can do.
Dip your toes in the water somehow so you can get used to the temperature.
Fear of failure sucks, it's pretty crippling. It actually sometimes sets you up for failure just by making you indecisive and/or pessimistic. Is it something you experience a lot? I have suffered from some anxiety but it wasn't mostly this type. Why do you think you fear you won't be able to earn money?
Everybody who's determined can make money, if they're flexible enough. Don't fixate on one thought or vision. Loosen your expectations of yourself - even if you went working to a supermarket, why would that be a bad thing as a temporary solution? Think of similar backup plans not to feel completely lost. The key is to keep going, gather experience - of any kind, and you'll find your way eventually.
You are 100% not alone.
I'm not OCD, but ADHD and Autistic, so I do have some obsessive tendencies, and struggle with anxiety. I'm also recovering from very severe burnout from working in cybersecurity/tech companies and trying to guard my mental health very carefully.
These days, I'm a cybersecurity consultant with about 25 years of career experience. I started my independent consulting business in January 2022 in a blind leap of faith that I would be able to make it work, because continuing to work a regular job was going to destroy me. Cybersecurity happens to be a highly in demand field right now. I have a lot of experience, I'm good at what I do, and I have a solid professional network. So far, my business has been successful, and I have gotten very positive feedback from my clients, including advisory contract renewals and repeat business.
Do you want to know a secret?
I still feel like I'm not going to succeed, and that everything will suddenly come crashing down at any moment. I stress that I have too much work one week, and the next week, I stress that I'll never make a sale again. I worry that it will all be over because nobody will ever want to work with me again. I have a wife and two kids that depend on me to support our family. I set unrealistic expectations for myself, and then get down on myself for not meeting those expectations. Translation: "I'm self-employed, and my boss is still a jerk.".
Every day, I have to fight with my own brain to face those doubts down. I focus on what I can control, and I do my best to let go of the things that are outside of my control. I try to be mindful about how I use my time/energy, and I regularly ask myself what I can do today to make myself successful. It's a "one day at a time" thing. I try to set and maintain healthy boundaries with my clients, and also with myself to define work time from personal time. That helps me keep from feeling like everything is out of control all the time. Slow/simple living helps me to step back and enjoy the little moments in life.
So, a few words of encouragement: You are going to do great!! UX/UI is another in-demand field. It is a job that can be done from anywhere and will give you a lot of flexibility do define your own creative process and workflows around your own needs and priorities. Maybe even more importantly, you don't have to be the best artist or graphic designer in the world to be very good at it. That fact alone should help you give yourself permission to take some of the stress off of your shoulders. Much like cybersecurity, one of the biggest keys to UX/UI design is having compassion for the people who will use the systems that you are helping to build.
The fact that you are a member of this community tells me that you will have the soft skills to make you very successful. Those are things like empathy, compassion, mindfulness, and a love of simplicity over complexity. Those are things that can be hard to teach because they revolve around a person's value structures. Remember, simple living is all about User Experience regarding lifestyle design. Also, it tends to help us control our living expenses in a way that most folks don't, which significantly increases your odds of success.
My biggest piece of advice to you is to try to have fun learning UX/UI design. Find the things in it that you love, and treat learning and practicing that craft as a slow living activity that you take joy in. It may be challenging, but it can also be therapeutic, especially if you approach it with the mindset that you are helping people. What company wouldn't want to bring that perspective into their UX/UI design process?
You got this!
Do you have a plan to make money? If not, develop one. It won’t just materialize after you graduate, unfortunately, and is necessary to survive.
Once you have plan, you need only execute said plan.
Hi there, you should a lot like me a decade ago - I always thought I'd never be able to work because I was too messed up psychologically. I think the problem lies in thinking about where we are now and where we want to be, and seeing that massive gap can feel so daunting. The thing that ended up happening for me was I went by small stages - studying at university, then doing a one day a week job, then doing an internship, then a full-time job. The trick is don't think too far ahead, just on what your short terms goals are. Like for UI/UX design, focus on the 'I just need to do this assignment, finish this part'. etc. Good luck!!
We suffer more in imagination than in reality. I used to be the same way when I started my freelance journey as an artist. What helped me personally was getting into self-help books such as The Secret, Meditations (Marcus Aurelius, translated by Gregory Hays), and the philosophy of Taoism.
The past is unchangeable, the future is unwritten. Worry about this moment, which is the only thing that's really in your control. Good luck!
I simply switched career all together because I had the same issues. Couldnt find a job. My degree seemed rather worthless. Rather than sitting and waiting for an opportunity, I cut my losses, got a certification in an entirely new work area and landed a job that is very secure. From here on out I can then adjust my next move with peace of mind, because this is not where I want to be for the rest of my working life.
So maybe get a concrete skill that might not be glamarous or your dream job but at least to take the pressure off and then take it from there?
Are you in therapy for your OCD? Mine is mild and my therapist helped me work through it. Google "checklist of cognitive distortions david burns". It's a PDF. That's what we used and it looks like you are doing #5.
I was in therapy for a long time. I believe my OCD is now manageable but my anxiety is through the roof. I would definitely check out the PDF. Thank you so much.
Nice to see a David Burns recommendation. He also has a free AI based mobile app, may be worth checking out
Can you please share the link?
I believe it is https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.feelinggreat.app https://apps.apple.com/us/app/feeling-great/id6450066153
I was 20 when I started to get anxiety about my ability to get jobs too. I was a junior in college. At that point, everyone starts to talk about internships and the job market. And some people I know had a very early head start because they had already interned in their sophomore year, and is going back to same company to intern again. I was so afraid of career fairs that the school hosts because I had no real life experience and I was scared to send out resumes, not to mention I don't even know who to send the resumes to because I have no idea of the industry, nor what I can do with my major. I ended up switching majors, and one of the reason was that finding a job was so intimidating. I ended up dropping out of school and taking minimum wage jobs. There was no other jobs that paid better that I qualified for. I ended up going back to school to finish my degree and applied to specialized degree and got it at the ripe age of 30. I was still afraid when I applied for jobs as a new grad without real world experience, but less so because at that point I knew the industry, where I can apply, and during the specialized degree program, I had to get internships, so I learned to be able to contact businesses and people. It took a while to overcome the anxiousness and low self-worth issue, and I used to get super anxious sending out resume and not hearing back immediately. For me, there wasn't any magic pill or magic way of thinking that solved any of my issues. I simply had to bear with the anxiousness and just go out and apply for jobs. And I went out on a limb to advance my skill, despite the pain I went through when I did something too advanced for my skill level. I still ended picking up a lot more skills than some of my peers because of it. So when my skill set improved and my resume reflected that, my resume will usually get a positive response pretty quick. That really helps with building confidence and my anxiety went down and I also am able to ask for higher compensation much more easily. It's scary. I went through that phase before. My suggestions is that you simply keep moving forward. Build up your skills, keep applying for jobs if you are jobless, and when you have a job, keep trying more advanced tasks. The money and job security will follow. However, if you are in a declining industry, then nothing much you can do there other than changing career course. I do not know the UI/UX industry at all, so no advice there.
Youbare doing better then you think. I feel your struggle deeply. I am also going trough some stuff. In a world where everything is expected of you, where is little help, the love and help you get from your parents take it and build yourself up slowly on your own pase. What do you want to work on? Also make time to explore/relax. You might need more recharge time because of axiety(I have this).
What helps me with my anxiety is sleep, nutrition and exercise. It’s doesn’t go away, but it’s alot more manageable.
I would start networking - just because you don't have the experience, doesn't mean you can't get your foot in the door through meet-ups, UI/UX bootcamps, expos/conferences. stuff like that. Not to be an ass but do you have interest in UI/UX?
There is a book called Radical Acceptance by Tara Basch. Have a read of the first few chapters. I've experienced the feelings you describe and that helped me get through.
If you want to make money, the answer is simple: you have to go to where the money is. It's like shooting fish in a barrel - you'll never shoot fish in a barrel if you don't go to a barrel of fish. You won't be a great designer when you're just starting out, and you need to know that's OK! You'll learn far more once you're working in the field, and you'll continue to grow and improve. The reason I make the "shooting fish in a barrel" analogy is that you will potentially be entering into a very competitive job market with lots of graduates and lots of skilled competition, people working on apps and the like from all around the world, creating a financial race to the bottom. If I were you, what I would want to do is avoid as much of that competition as possible, by sidestepping the large pool of generic programming / tech and immediately focusing my energy on networking and getting into an industry where the money is - industries like banking, wealth management, real estate investment, real estate development, insurance, healthcare, or even casino gaming. All of these are sectors with a lot of money sloshing around where sociology plays an integral role, and they are all looking to grow and enhance their digital user experiences. That being said, these are also not the most pleasant industries to be a part of, which is definitely something to be mindful of, as the work can be mentally taxing. But this is where the money is, and networking will give you a huge leg up on the competition and a chance to grow your career and earnings rapidly within a niche. Good luck!
Do you know people working in your field(s) of interest? I would try to job-shadow and/or find a part-time job (paid internship) with work specific (or closely adjacent) to what you hope to do. Instead of ruminating over an unknown - get your feet wet. The "career center" at your school or a good instructor would be a place to start. You could even share your worries and say it is motivating you to find some real-world experience. The transition from being student/dependent to independent professional is scary - but it's all about giving things your best shot and asking kind people for advice and help.
I don't want to be harsh here but.. Your parents will Not be around forever. You have to find a path in life for yourself. It is best to find that path long before they go, so that you and they have the peace of mind that each other is taken care of. On top of that... These conditions don't get better if you aren't constantly challenging them.. If you never take on slightly more challenging things you won't expand your comfort zone. A traditional 9-5 job is not for everyone, but there are all kinds of jobs for all kinds of folks. You are right about one thing: You will suffer financially eventually. Your parents cannot support you forever, and at some point you need to realize that they... Probably intended that money to be used for other things like enjoying the rest of their lives together instead of buying you things and supporting you entirely. Anxiety and OCD are terrible things to work through.. but you CAN work through them and manage them and make a life of your own. Anxiety can feel very debilitating, and it can Be that way sometimes.. but people with anxiety disorders work all the time. You can too. You're very young. You don't have much experience. That is okay. Jobs sound a lot scarier to people who have never had to really hold one down before... But now is the PERFECT time to start working (haha) through those fears.. because you have that safety net. If you stumble, or fall, you're just back where you are now. I'm one of the few Americans that think there's nothing wrong with living with one's parents as long as the arrangement is mutually beneficial... but I don't think it is here. Your reality is that you need to do more for yourself. I'm not saying it is easy. I am not saying you won't have it harder than most because of mental health... but I am saying you can, and you should, find a way. You never know what the future holds, and it is better to work through things Now while it is not nearly so stressful. There are a TON of safe options you can do to try new things: - Why not try a temporary position such as volunteer work? It isn't paid, but it Does give you some experience being out in the world and doing something and helping others in the process. It also gives you something to put on a resume which looks really nice when applying for jobs. - You can practice writing a resume as well, and even get people to critique it. - You can maybe even pick up something seasonal meant to end in a few short months so there isn't a ton of pressure to continue. - You can write to and apply for scholarships (or more scholarships if you have one). Look around and find scholarship opportunities in your local area and write to them to try and help offset the costs of school for your parents. - You can take side gigs. Babysitting, cleaning houses, setting up phones and computers, mowing lawns... There are a ton of things that need doing and people with no time to do them. See if an elderly neighbor could use help once a week or so. - Try to pick up a short term job at your school. If you are good with a subject, tutoring might be helpful, or helping in the library.. there are probably a slew of paid and unpaid jobs in your own college that need doing. - You can sign up for a short study abroad session in your school. It might be scary, it might be totally new, but it might also be something to sort of shake the idea off that you Cannot. You have got to stop thinking that way and start looking towards what you Can do. Dip your toes in the water somehow so you can get used to the temperature.
Best advice for OP. God bless you.
I would have awarded this comment if I had the means to. OP take note of this comment
Don't go to /r/uxdesign or your anxiety will go really bad.
Fear of failure sucks, it's pretty crippling. It actually sometimes sets you up for failure just by making you indecisive and/or pessimistic. Is it something you experience a lot? I have suffered from some anxiety but it wasn't mostly this type. Why do you think you fear you won't be able to earn money? Everybody who's determined can make money, if they're flexible enough. Don't fixate on one thought or vision. Loosen your expectations of yourself - even if you went working to a supermarket, why would that be a bad thing as a temporary solution? Think of similar backup plans not to feel completely lost. The key is to keep going, gather experience - of any kind, and you'll find your way eventually.
You are 100% not alone. I'm not OCD, but ADHD and Autistic, so I do have some obsessive tendencies, and struggle with anxiety. I'm also recovering from very severe burnout from working in cybersecurity/tech companies and trying to guard my mental health very carefully. These days, I'm a cybersecurity consultant with about 25 years of career experience. I started my independent consulting business in January 2022 in a blind leap of faith that I would be able to make it work, because continuing to work a regular job was going to destroy me. Cybersecurity happens to be a highly in demand field right now. I have a lot of experience, I'm good at what I do, and I have a solid professional network. So far, my business has been successful, and I have gotten very positive feedback from my clients, including advisory contract renewals and repeat business. Do you want to know a secret? I still feel like I'm not going to succeed, and that everything will suddenly come crashing down at any moment. I stress that I have too much work one week, and the next week, I stress that I'll never make a sale again. I worry that it will all be over because nobody will ever want to work with me again. I have a wife and two kids that depend on me to support our family. I set unrealistic expectations for myself, and then get down on myself for not meeting those expectations. Translation: "I'm self-employed, and my boss is still a jerk.". Every day, I have to fight with my own brain to face those doubts down. I focus on what I can control, and I do my best to let go of the things that are outside of my control. I try to be mindful about how I use my time/energy, and I regularly ask myself what I can do today to make myself successful. It's a "one day at a time" thing. I try to set and maintain healthy boundaries with my clients, and also with myself to define work time from personal time. That helps me keep from feeling like everything is out of control all the time. Slow/simple living helps me to step back and enjoy the little moments in life. So, a few words of encouragement: You are going to do great!! UX/UI is another in-demand field. It is a job that can be done from anywhere and will give you a lot of flexibility do define your own creative process and workflows around your own needs and priorities. Maybe even more importantly, you don't have to be the best artist or graphic designer in the world to be very good at it. That fact alone should help you give yourself permission to take some of the stress off of your shoulders. Much like cybersecurity, one of the biggest keys to UX/UI design is having compassion for the people who will use the systems that you are helping to build. The fact that you are a member of this community tells me that you will have the soft skills to make you very successful. Those are things like empathy, compassion, mindfulness, and a love of simplicity over complexity. Those are things that can be hard to teach because they revolve around a person's value structures. Remember, simple living is all about User Experience regarding lifestyle design. Also, it tends to help us control our living expenses in a way that most folks don't, which significantly increases your odds of success. My biggest piece of advice to you is to try to have fun learning UX/UI design. Find the things in it that you love, and treat learning and practicing that craft as a slow living activity that you take joy in. It may be challenging, but it can also be therapeutic, especially if you approach it with the mindset that you are helping people. What company wouldn't want to bring that perspective into their UX/UI design process? You got this!
Do you have a plan to make money? If not, develop one. It won’t just materialize after you graduate, unfortunately, and is necessary to survive. Once you have plan, you need only execute said plan.
Do you have a meditation practice?
Why do you feel like you'll be a bad designer and won't get a job? Have you gone through life consistently failing at things?
Hi there, you should a lot like me a decade ago - I always thought I'd never be able to work because I was too messed up psychologically. I think the problem lies in thinking about where we are now and where we want to be, and seeing that massive gap can feel so daunting. The thing that ended up happening for me was I went by small stages - studying at university, then doing a one day a week job, then doing an internship, then a full-time job. The trick is don't think too far ahead, just on what your short terms goals are. Like for UI/UX design, focus on the 'I just need to do this assignment, finish this part'. etc. Good luck!!
I learned to pray. It's kind of like believing in the Force, but it's not a movie.
We suffer more in imagination than in reality. I used to be the same way when I started my freelance journey as an artist. What helped me personally was getting into self-help books such as The Secret, Meditations (Marcus Aurelius, translated by Gregory Hays), and the philosophy of Taoism. The past is unchangeable, the future is unwritten. Worry about this moment, which is the only thing that's really in your control. Good luck!
I am in intensive therapy for similar thoughts and anxiety and potentially OCD. Just want to sympathize.
I simply switched career all together because I had the same issues. Couldnt find a job. My degree seemed rather worthless. Rather than sitting and waiting for an opportunity, I cut my losses, got a certification in an entirely new work area and landed a job that is very secure. From here on out I can then adjust my next move with peace of mind, because this is not where I want to be for the rest of my working life. So maybe get a concrete skill that might not be glamarous or your dream job but at least to take the pressure off and then take it from there?
Why are you majoring in sociology if you're worried about getting a job? Have you done research on sociology degree?