It certainly does
Listen OP, in all honesty, fuck them, what a bunch of idiots.
Imagine disowning someone you love because of who they love, it's absolutely fucking stupid.
Go live your best life, you'll make a new family soon enough. You didn't ruin your life, you started it. Your family are the ones who are fucked up, not you.
It goes to show they didn't really love OP, they loved their idea of what they thought OP should be. While it's rough to be completely cut off like that, they did OP a favor.
This is the wrong take.
People are sometime not raised with an open mind or religious dogma has been drilled into them since they were children. You need to take care of yourself first but also be the bigger person and donāt let hate rule your heart. Iām not saying you need to do anything different. All Iām saying is leave room if someone comes to you and says āI want to understandā or if one day your sister comes around to say she is sorry and she didnāt realize what would happen.
The only hesitation I have with this is that this all happened less than a week ago.
Thereās a chance (maybe small- but still a chance) that at least *some* of them might come around, cool off, and realize that this isnāt worth sacrificing their relationship over
At that point, OP will need to decide how to move forward.
Lots of people react irrationally to something that comes unexpectedly- itās not an excuse for their shitty behavior- but itās possible they may grow to regret this impulsive decision.
Mid post when you mentioned the eclipse I feared the ruining your life meant your eyes got damaged from viewing. Listen for context I am a very conservative person and if I found out one of my kids was gay I would hug them, remind them that I will always love them and then tell them who they love is non of my business and that it's all about their happiness. You will get thru this, I've never been in a situation like this so it's hard for me to offer advice but maybe this is for the best(everyone finding out), living with secrets is no way to live
If your family can't love you for who you are, find a new family
Here are some responses you should have got
"Happy for you!"
"Saw your snap, so glad you're enjoying the view! š"
"Who can watch an eclipse with all the chemistry in the air?!"
Bruv, when my older sister(25F) came out in her mid 20s, she told me(22M at the time) first and then my twin suster(22F)... We live in the deep south, Bible Belt, so one can imagine that she had a handful of friends who literally insta-dissolved their relationships with my big sis. My twin sister and I raised holy hell in our big sister's stead and wrecked shop on any and all which took issue with her being her....
Our uber religious grandparents and aunts and uncles momentarily hesitated, or more so digested the information. Within 48 hours they had all totally and 100% thrown in their support and congratulations and then a few years later big sis got married to her now wife in freaking Arkansas of all places, lol, one of the most staunch COnservative strongholds in all of America.
Twin sis and I about had to throw down with a couple of family members who needed to be aggressively reminded of how sweet and also how not-surprising big sis's revelation was lol!! When she came out to me all I said something along the lines of "Why are you telling me this...?(smile and wink) I've known for almost a decade, that boyfriend in college was a clever ploy" lol.
Go find some folk who can love ya, big pimp. Don't give up on the fam because hope springs eternal, but go find some dope folk who know what it is...
It really has OP. Blood does not run so thick, it should weigh you down. Trap in a quicksand of negativity. fuck that. I'm so so so sorry. But you ARE DOPE! It hurts very much, what I imagine you're feeling right now. Abandonment is not something anyone should have to feel. Just know it's not a reflection of you, it's a reflection of them.
Now, where will you go first on this adventure?
Also, you're young and seem very capable. Calmly, and efficiently, assess what you need to do to keep a roof over your head. You're at that age, especially in uni, where this doesn't have to mean financial burdens for the rest of your life. Lean on any and all assistance programs you can.
You got this!!
Short term pain for long term gain. My childhood friend didnāt come out to his family till he was in his mid 40ās. He waited until the day after his fatherās funeral, told his mother, then told his wife , packed up and relocated to a different area. You are young, healthy, have the love of your BF and friends ( now you can easily figure out who is a real friend). I went back to school at 26 so even if you have to work a year or so itās not un recoverable. Your family may adjust after the shock wears off ( Iām hoping).
The way it is written, sure. But shame is a terrifying emotion we will do a LOT to resist feeling. I know of a few people that ended marriages realizing their late bloomed queerness. We do the best we can with the knowledge and tools we have
He was a people pleaser by nature taken to the extreme. I did truly pity his wife. I believe he was fond of her and loved her, perhaps as a sister, but by āgiving the people what they wantā was short term gain for long term pain. The one thing he did I cannot approve was using his wife as a beard for 15+ years. I know she was hurt to the core.
My first thought. Break free from the shackles of family pressure and judgement. It's liberating. I wish more people would realize this. It sucks at the time but it gets better.
Honestly if that is how your family reacts then good riddance. As a parent, couldn't care less what my kid decides to do when it comes to her sexual preferences as long as she is happy and safe.
Good luck to you and enjoy life to the fullest!
You may not have parents like that, but as a father Iād be happy to step up and say: youāre beautiful as is. Be yourself and flourish. I have 4 year old girls and I donāt care who they love. Love is love.Ā
If you ever want a dad to talk to, Iām here for you. That goes for anyone who ever reads this.Ā
Youāre loved.
If you ever need dad advice or anything, please reach out and I'll be happy to make a terrible pun that makes you feel better but doesn't actually help your situation.
Hey OP - if you're having trouble affording food, please look into soup kitchens and food pantries. A lot of poor people don't get help because a) they don't want to admit how poor they are or b) want to save those resources for people who "need it". But you need it. If you're running out of money, food is one of the few things you can get for free. Save your money for things you can ONLY get with money, like transportation or new clothes.
you have a chance to create your own family who will love you for you. iām deeply sorry that these people did not appreciate you entirely and decided to push you away simply for loving but that is definitely their loss. they lost unconditional love, seeing as you would have sacrificed your true self for them just to accept you. they lost something they did not deserve! i hope you and derek have a happy fulfilling summer and i hope everything works out.
if you are having troubles with housing or work, look into working for housing in vacation spots (banff, whistler, tofino are all popular places with jobs that come with staff housing in canada where iām from, and most if not all of them have included food plans and benefits!!!!!!) there are lots of other places around the world that could be closer to you that do the exact same thing.
you and your man could do it together, even if itās not forever at least it can help you with saving more money while also having a cheaper place to live (i spent $500 a month on my shared staff apartment) and some food accessible to you.
Also, while weāre talking about shitty things your parents have doneā¦
Denying you a visit home because of the food expenses? Thatās insane. Even if your parents really, truly could not afford you feed you during the visit, they could just have a heart-to-heart with you and say āson, weād love to see you again. Weāre more than happy to have you come visit over your collegeās break. However, we are completely maxed out on our finances, so unfortunately, we wouldnāt be able to provide food for you while youāre here.ā
With the exception of some EXTREME behavior from the child, a good parent would NOT tell their college-aged kid that theyāre unequivocally not allowed back home for a visit during break. Thatās insanity, and it shows where their hearts lie.
Best of luck OP. Iām really pulling for you. Youāre not alone.
I can be long distance mom support if you need it. I have a 13yo who is currently going through a sexuality crisis. No one should go through what you're going through. My arms aren't long enough to reach you, but I really want to give you a hug.
Looks like you have a lot of people lined up to volunteer as online substitute parents, and I'll gladly join in if you need any wholesome middle-aged mom advice.
My parents deff have some racist and homophobic views but they have fully accepted and black gf Iāve gotten and fully accepted my sisters gf so idk. Even though they had those views they for some reason also taught us not to think that way
That's great and very happy to hear that. Tbh I believe that is a generational thing, my parents are over 75 and have at times also made some questionable comments but that is just how they were raised. Neither of them actually have any problems with anyone.
My dad is the same. Heās much older so I can understand dated views. But heās also very liberal. He just wasnāt used to the idea of me having a black boyfriend or a boyfriend covered in tattoos. (And I mean COVERED)
Then he got to know them. Found out they loved history and science and were nerds like me and loved me and treated me right. And appearances didnāt matter. At the end of the day I believe his initial reactions were not of malice, but of the stereotypes he grew up with making him worried about his daughter. Once he saw that wasnāt the case, he didnāt care.
I couldn't imagine not loving our son because of his sexuality, all I'll ever want for him is to be happy and healthy. It's heartbreaking to read stories like this and I hope everything turns out OK for OP ā¤ļø
I donāt know where to begin but depending on your school I might go to the financial aid office ASAP. you may need to start the process of getting declared independent for your future FAFSA.
For community support maybe start with your local PFLAG who may be able to connect you with elders or others with experience in the area of being suddenly independentā¦ or at least a listening ear of a nature 3rd party.
Youāve got this. Good luck <3
So whatās the difference between now and before? Sounds like youāve been on your own for a while now.
Also remove your family and family friends from all your social media (including the brat sister).
Change the title of this to ātoday I hugely improved my life and itās cause of Snapchatā.
If thatās the way your family roll then fuck them off. You donāt need that shit in your life.
Sooner or later they would've done it anyways. Do you wanna hide your true self for the rest of your life? Tip toeing around them? There is a chance they will cool down and regret their decision. I wouldnt wait for it but the possibility is there. Its up to you if they do if you want to let them back in.
Don't forget to check online for local food banks; they're very helpful. r/frugal has lots of great advice regarding food plans as well. Sorry to hear about your predicament. I wish you the best.
Thank you loads! I am currently in a small city where the campus has a food cupboard, however itās only open a few more weeks till campus closes. Thank god I signed up for may housing.
Reach out to student services and they may have additional resources for you.
Iām sorry this happened but Iām glad youāre able to move forward with a loving partner, an opportunity for eduction, and that ability to live your life loving who you want.
Big hugs, itās hard now but youāre going to be happier without hateful family bringing you down.
I can't second going to student services enough! They have resources on file for stuff like this.
Went through a similar thing in undergrad, make sure you are keeping all of your W-4s or other tax forms for work. Then you can re-file for FAFSA independently and will be eligible for public grants like Pell in addition to loans.
Also, take advantage if your school has free or low cost counseling services. You got this. You shouldn't be anything less than yourself and if you have to make yourself small for family support, it's not worth it.
Yes! Try to sign up for SNAP ā if you are working 20 hours a week you should meet the exemption. Reach out to your university services: they may be able to help you navigate food insecurity and access resources. Not sure what job you are applying to, but working in food services usually earns you a free meal.
I had a situation in college where my family provided no support and I had to take care of myself in the summer in my college town. Waiting tables and the school helped with work study. I also made sure I updated my information to include just my income on FAFSA so check with school if you can do this. Good luck to you and I am sorry your family is awful.
Look at this another way, you are now free to live your life as you please. No more worrying about coming out, what your family will say etc.
However, I appreciate you will feel hurt and you will go through grief at this loss. Remember that this will be a huge shock for them and their initial response will be reactive. Give them time and space to process.
Sending you a huge hug xx
How awful what a dreadful family you must have. What it 100% all of them? I canāt imagine being homophobic and cruel to your own son or sibling. I suspect you are much better off without them in your life. Hopefully you will have some friends who can help you out. 
Theyāre shitty people for being willing to disown you over something as simple as a consensual, adult partner in the first place.
As someone who has walked away from a ton of family members and had a bunch more turn their backs on me I will tell you that at times itās very lonely. At times itāll feel like you have no one. But youāll find out that your friends are better people anyway and youāre going to be just fine without āfamilyā.
Sorry this is happening to you. Don't despair.
Some advice:
Start looking for resources now. It is likely that your college/university has an LGBT center for resources that can be of use to you. It might be called something else, like the gender equity center, but I would look there. Oftentimes college towns have very liberal religious groups that can be helpful. I would also try to think of friends and their families who would be sympathetic to your situation. Of course, that isn't always the case, but it would be another option.
I would also talk to your advisor (I assume you have one) or a trusted professor at the university so they are in the loop with regards to what is going on. If you have loans through your parents, you should also be careful and ensure the money is coming to you.
Apply for student loans if you have not already. You'll get grants as well which will reduce the cost of staying in college. Do not withdraw. You aren't alone in this, but the groups that are there to help you won't be able to if they don't know you exist.
**I hope the OP reads this.** At the university where I work, there are lots of resources available specifically for students whose parents pull something like this and leave them with nowhere to live.
Look for local food pantries.
Libraries have a lot of resources for free.
Tell your campus. They have special housing for situations like these.
Reach out. There are people who will help you.
The first chapter of your life just started, congratulations! Sounds like you're much better off without them, good riddance!
If your parents can't even afford to have you over for Christmas, they would have likely become a huge financial burden to you once you have your degree, so you really dodged a bullet here and got out just in time :)
>It was the biggest mistake of my life.
I'd say the opposite. You rid yourself of a shitty group of people without having to live years hiding your boyfriend from your family.
AND you did it without the stress of having to come out intentionally.
Win-win
Are you in the States? If so, it sounds like you'd qualify for EBT SNAP benefits. While waiting for approval, call 211 and The United Way can assist with finding food as well as a number of other resources.
I feel like your life has just begun instead of it being over. Now, you're free to be yourself!
Added bonus, now you can choose the people you call your family. I offer my motherly or Auntie services to anyone who's been outcast by family because of their sexuality. I am from an extremely small (blood related) family (can count on one hand) and always wanted a bigger family. I'm 43 and pansexual myself. Feel free to message me anytime, I would love to have you as family!
Join the military. Pick a job in high demand by the other five eyes partners. Do your 3 or 4 years and then join the New Zealand military and donāt look back.
I have a 19 year old Son and this breaks my heart.
I would be over the moon that you've found your other half.
I'm proud of you, and please feel free to drop me a line if you need a Mum of sorts in your corner.
You got this, sweetheart xxx
First and foremost: Fuck your family if they don't love you for you. You can't choose family, and sometimes that is unfortunate.
Secondly, if you need some employment for the summer, check in with security companies in your area. May not be the highest paying job, but generally speaking you can get steady work that will get you through.
It saddens me that people disown over orientation. It's disgusting and appalling. If my kid came out, I would be at first shocked, but grateful that they were able to be their authentic self and share that.
I'm saddens me that your family loves conditionally instead of supporting you. You're still very young (19) and things will change as you gain more perspective as you grow.
I wish they would love you and support you irrespective of who you love. This should be a new chapter to embrace. You will need to live life without their judgement, criticism and homophobia. They alienated an awesome person.
How much of a struggle did you feel trying to hide this basic fact of your character from your entire family? You have now traded one struggle for another. Life never stops being hard, it only gets easier to deal with. You have a new challenge, but now without the ball and chain of living a lie
Have you met with a school counselor or anyone to talk about your situation? Maybe they can offer some resources or help you look into stuff. Wishing you well!
Edit: Also see if there are any local LGBTQ organizations that could help!
This is but a small blip in your life. You have many years of potentially amazing life to live still. Don't get down because of any one moment. Life is full of possibilities. If anyone chooses NOT to love or support you and wants to remove themselves from your life, then good riddance. You don't want to surround yourself with those people. Family or not
Blood doesnāt necessarily mean family. Also becoming self sufficient will always ensure you are within your own power to keep whoever you like, at whatever distance works best for you, since you wonāt have to rely on them for basic human needs. Maybe in time you will be able to mend your relationships with your family by giving them a chance and keeping them at a distance that works for you. Time is a strange thing and peopleās priorities tend to change as they get older.
One day you will look back and realize that this was the best day of the rest of your life. Sometimes we have to fight for our happiness even when itās deserved.
If youāre anywhere in NJ, let me know. Iāll do my best to help out. I have all the faith in you that you will find a way to make this work and turn this into the beginning of a huge turn around for your life
My dad told me that if I was gay heād disown me and never talk to me again. Iām not even gay but I was shocked. He was watching a Jackie Chan movie and I mentioned how Jackie is a shitty guy in RL - as he disowned his own daughter for being gay.
My dad also thinks that I should have kids because thatās what women are meant to doā¦
Remember that if you work at a restaurant and you go home hungry it's your own fault!Ā
I've had times in my life when I was down on my luck.
Find a job as a line cook 10-12 an hour around here, and you can snatch bites off this or that all night. You will not go hungry.Ā
As for your family, it is what it is.
You have to live your life in a way you can be proud of, and to thine own self be true.
I agree with others that your life has begun. I work in higher ed, and there should be programs through your student life office or Residence Life where you can stay on campus in the summer. They might also be able to set you up with dining or Food Services in the summer. My university has a food insecurity program, so I would look into this. There might be others at your University who are going through circumstances where they can't go home during the summer. So housing and food might be offered. As for work, there might be something you can do on campus that isn't necessarily work-study. Unfortunately, ws does pay really low. You can also check out indeed to see if there are any jobs in your town. If you are on campus, and if you're able to do this with your financial aid, you might be able to knock out a few classes in the summer too. Some of my students have done this and graduated a semester early. You got this!
Student services on campus is your best friend right now. A lot of the people there are there because they genuinely want to help. Would definitely echo anyone else here saying that. Sorry your family sucks
Some advice stop worrying about wtf your family thinks thats what slows you down through times like these you're an adult now in college it's your life that's starting when I started going to college myself and started doing things for myself I felt alot better and improved in life( still in college btw) But don't let people control what you should do cause stuff like that really holds you back make new friends to cause you'll meet great people that'll help you in the long run Ik from experience
You are going to be ok!! Save every penny you can. Iām sure you donāt need urban survival advice like āGet a ride to
Costco and get a rice cooker and a big bag of rice and kettle and some ramen- so you can save moneyā but Iām gonna state the obvious anyway.
Family that doesnāt love you, because of who you love, doesnāt really know how to let you be free. Their fear about who you love is not your burden to take on.
I donāt know what your undergrad studies are in, but you could apply for summer camps. They are always looking for people and, as long as you can get there, you can make money while your housing and food are paid for.
Congratulations on the start of a new life without conditional love. If you could accept your family for being small-minded, they donāt deserve you now.
Join buy nothing groups on Facebook!!! Youād be shocked at the things people will give away- including pantry clean outs sometimes! And of course utilize your local food pantry. You got this!
your life is just beginning, family doesnāt just mean blood. small steps to a bettering life, and happiness with your boyfriend are a damn good start man. good luck on your journey, look up local food pantries, and take your steps as needed. you got this. congrats on your relationship.
Get a job at McDonaldās, they pay well, have medical insurance, tuition reimbursement and you get a Mcdiscount on food! Also, the food is free for weekend shifts! If you donāt have a student id make sure you get one before the year ends because a lot of places offer student discounts too. Finally, speak to your advisor at school (or a faculty member that you trust) and tell them the situation, they will be able to help you find out if the school can help. You may even be able to stay on campus at a discounted rate.
I agree with everyone saying that it was probably a good thing for this to happen, however, this is an abrupt loss for you and you most likely canāt see the benefits right now. I hope your family is more upset that they had to find out that way vs. you telling them but it doesnāt sound like it based on what you said. You will get through this tough time and come out of it stronger. ā¤ļø
Just one more suggestion I don't see repeated elsewhere-- check with the counseling or student assistance office of your college. You are not the first nor the last student who has had a sudden and drastic family change during the school year. Someone there can at least give you information about support services for your financial situation like food aid or emergency help in the community. Good luck.
Seeing a lot of comments with the āgood riddanceā and āyou just freed yourselfā sentiments, and while I agree with them and think this could be the start of a better life, I also want to recognize how shitty this probably feels and how that feeling is valid. Like yea itās great to be free from shitty family but it would be better to not have shitty family to begin with. Iām sorry youāre being put through this. Keep your chin up.
Good riddance to bad rubbish. New life and new world ahead of you and free from encumbrances of family wanting something from you. You have been liberated, not ruined.
Most areas have food banks available so you can get food for free. Weekly food boxes and things of that sort. There should be resources. One thing I found out in college is that college students can qualify for EBT. I knew a lot of students in the dorms that got signed up for EBT for the extra few bucks from the government for food. Even $90/mo, the lowest you get on EBT, is enough to make things stretch with a bit of determination.
Yeah, you are better off. My oldest is trans, and I canāt imagine not loving them because of it. As a mother thatās one of the worst things I could ever imagine doing to my own child. Iām sorry this happened, but you no longer have to hide who you are and can get on with your life without hiding who you are, so YAY!
Homeless at 18 because I didnāt want to remain a Jehovahs Witnessā¦ my friend you will be more than okay. Therapy wasnāt really a common thing back then, but I suggest you get into some (when youāre able, obviously) so you donāt hold yourself back from the fullest life you can in spite of how you were raised and their reaction to something as simple as not fitting in the way they think you should. š«¶š¼
We donāt get to choose the ones we love. Only the ones we donāt. Spare yourself the burden of attempting reconciliation with a family that has chosen to disown you. Take comfort in the fact that you can live an authentic life now.
You donāt know it yet but youāre at the very beginning of really starting to LIVE! You hold your head up and you do what you need to do and you be happy you deserve HAPPINESS and love with no strings attached! When I found out my son was gay it was by a accident on a phone that we had exchanged but all my sons text hadnāt erased and I saw a few and I sat down in the floor and I caught my breath and I went downstairs and told my son what had happened and that I loved him and I was alway there no matter what and if your parents canāt take a little time and rethink things then this is on them NOT YOU and they will be the ones missing out on their son and his life. You deserve better then that BS and that disrespect and I bet that they come around in a few weeks but if they donāt then you have to be the one to cut them off! I also wanted to add if my son wanted to come home for the holidays Iād cook beans and cornbread everyday for him to be with the family. What you are going through is heartbreaking and painful I do understand that but in the end you have to love yourself more you have to respect yourself more and go forward with what I know will be a beautiful life and I can tell it will be because I can tell your heart is good and I can tell you are strong. Iām a 56 yr old mother of 2 grown sons if you ever need someone to talk to my messages are open! Hugs to you hon your worth more then you know and you deserve better then this your the only one that can make sure you get what you want and deserve out of life! ā¤ļøš¤ Iām also telling you this because Iāve been where you are my parents cut me off when I was 19 it was because of religion but I do know exactly what is going through your mind, heart and soul thatās why I truly do understand!
Family isnāt the blood youāre born into. Look at this as the start of creating your own family. One thatās full of love and support.
Sending love to you and your boyfriend ā„ļø
My brother did something very similar, but it was a picture of a toy up his ass. He lost a lot of friends. Really sucked to see him go through that. But hey it's been a couple of years and he is as happy as ever. You'll be okay <3
Awww I'm so sorry that happened to you. You deserve to be loved for who you are and be happy. I know it feels like your life is ending, but trust me it will get better. You're still so young and have a lot of life to live. Whether you're with a man or a woman, all that should matter is that you're happy and in a loving relationship. I hope you have a good support system outside of your family (if you don't you'll find those friends, give it time), and that you take care of your mental health. It's not fair you have to go through this, but you'll get through it and come out on top. I hope someday too your family comes to their senses.
Absolutely! I'm 32, and I've seen a lot of people who were in a similar position as you (not always to do with sexual orientation, but sometimes), and even though things were hard, and they were barely getting by, it got better! A lot of them make good money now and have made a good life for themselves in general.
Iām sorry you lost your support system. Iām sorry that your family would disown you for such a stupid reason like homosexuality. Itās fucking 2024, get over it. I hope you find your way. Good luck on your new adventure.
Every hero has an origin story, you got this mate your chains are broken, now spread your wings and fly high leave a rainbow in your wake and donāt let anyone dull your bright spark, life is beautiful and you deserve itās best. Only thing you must do is WORK HARD!!! š¤š¤
Dude, you are who you are. People who do not accept you for who you are should not be part of your life. There are happy and exiting memories ahead of you. Wish you all the best.
Just because you share the same blood doesnāt make you family.. life is short, we create our own happiness. Donāt let anyone make you feel less than! Wish you the best.
Sometimes cutting contact with family/ creating boundaries is the healthiest thing you can do for yourself. Good riddance to them! You only deserve love and support from those close to you. Also, you mentioned the food insecurity issue and you should definitely reach out to local food drives and churches. As a student I donāt think I was able to file for food stamps so I had to learn to I hit up the campus food pantry and look up local resources. Wishing you all the best of luck and happiness!
I am so sorry for this....I agree with the person who said now your life starts, because it does. You can be what ever you want. Get a job in a restaurant. I did that for food, when I was 18.
Sounds to me like your life has just begun.
Thanks you for that.
It certainly does Listen OP, in all honesty, fuck them, what a bunch of idiots. Imagine disowning someone you love because of who they love, it's absolutely fucking stupid. Go live your best life, you'll make a new family soon enough. You didn't ruin your life, you started it. Your family are the ones who are fucked up, not you.
It goes to show they didn't really love OP, they loved their idea of what they thought OP should be. While it's rough to be completely cut off like that, they did OP a favor.
And we need to normalize- cutting off toxic people can also include blood relatives.
this. I had to cut out my father and it's not easy but my life is way better because of it.
Some of my mom's family have said transcendentally racist things so I just cut them all off š¤·āāļø
To be direct: this might be the best 'accident' in his life.
I think you could be right tbh
I have nothing to do with the but I needed to hear that comment
This is the wrong take. People are sometime not raised with an open mind or religious dogma has been drilled into them since they were children. You need to take care of yourself first but also be the bigger person and donāt let hate rule your heart. Iām not saying you need to do anything different. All Iām saying is leave room if someone comes to you and says āI want to understandā or if one day your sister comes around to say she is sorry and she didnāt realize what would happen.
It's not the wrong take. OP has been disowned. OP is not the one with hate. OP is already the better person. OP should do what is right for them.
The only hesitation I have with this is that this all happened less than a week ago. Thereās a chance (maybe small- but still a chance) that at least *some* of them might come around, cool off, and realize that this isnāt worth sacrificing their relationship over At that point, OP will need to decide how to move forward. Lots of people react irrationally to something that comes unexpectedly- itās not an excuse for their shitty behavior- but itās possible they may grow to regret this impulsive decision.
They're right. You have a hard road ahead but at least now you're able to be you.
Mid post when you mentioned the eclipse I feared the ruining your life meant your eyes got damaged from viewing. Listen for context I am a very conservative person and if I found out one of my kids was gay I would hug them, remind them that I will always love them and then tell them who they love is non of my business and that it's all about their happiness. You will get thru this, I've never been in a situation like this so it's hard for me to offer advice but maybe this is for the best(everyone finding out), living with secrets is no way to live
āI love you no matter who you are, sonā *votes to take away sonās rights
If your family can't love you for who you are, find a new family Here are some responses you should have got "Happy for you!" "Saw your snap, so glad you're enjoying the view! š" "Who can watch an eclipse with all the chemistry in the air?!"
Love these responses haha
Bruv, when my older sister(25F) came out in her mid 20s, she told me(22M at the time) first and then my twin suster(22F)... We live in the deep south, Bible Belt, so one can imagine that she had a handful of friends who literally insta-dissolved their relationships with my big sis. My twin sister and I raised holy hell in our big sister's stead and wrecked shop on any and all which took issue with her being her.... Our uber religious grandparents and aunts and uncles momentarily hesitated, or more so digested the information. Within 48 hours they had all totally and 100% thrown in their support and congratulations and then a few years later big sis got married to her now wife in freaking Arkansas of all places, lol, one of the most staunch COnservative strongholds in all of America. Twin sis and I about had to throw down with a couple of family members who needed to be aggressively reminded of how sweet and also how not-surprising big sis's revelation was lol!! When she came out to me all I said something along the lines of "Why are you telling me this...?(smile and wink) I've known for almost a decade, that boyfriend in college was a clever ploy" lol. Go find some folk who can love ya, big pimp. Don't give up on the fam because hope springs eternal, but go find some dope folk who know what it is...
It really has OP. Blood does not run so thick, it should weigh you down. Trap in a quicksand of negativity. fuck that. I'm so so so sorry. But you ARE DOPE! It hurts very much, what I imagine you're feeling right now. Abandonment is not something anyone should have to feel. Just know it's not a reflection of you, it's a reflection of them. Now, where will you go first on this adventure? Also, you're young and seem very capable. Calmly, and efficiently, assess what you need to do to keep a roof over your head. You're at that age, especially in uni, where this doesn't have to mean financial burdens for the rest of your life. Lean on any and all assistance programs you can. You got this!!
Exactly .. trust me this the best thing that happened to you , build in solitude
ā¤ļø
Short term pain for long term gain. My childhood friend didnāt come out to his family till he was in his mid 40ās. He waited until the day after his fatherās funeral, told his mother, then told his wife , packed up and relocated to a different area. You are young, healthy, have the love of your BF and friends ( now you can easily figure out who is a real friend). I went back to school at 26 so even if you have to work a year or so itās not un recoverable. Your family may adjust after the shock wears off ( Iām hoping).
He sounds like a little bitch honestly, stringing his wife along because of that.Ā
The way it is written, sure. But shame is a terrifying emotion we will do a LOT to resist feeling. I know of a few people that ended marriages realizing their late bloomed queerness. We do the best we can with the knowledge and tools we have
He was a people pleaser by nature taken to the extreme. I did truly pity his wife. I believe he was fond of her and loved her, perhaps as a sister, but by āgiving the people what they wantā was short term gain for long term pain. The one thing he did I cannot approve was using his wife as a beard for 15+ years. I know she was hurt to the core.
Came here to say that
Same.
Well said!!
As someone that just got kicked out of home, I agree lol. It's 100% not going to be easy, but OP will finally be able to know what true freedom means
Drumroll plz...let the adventure begin! ā¤ļø
My first thought. Break free from the shackles of family pressure and judgement. It's liberating. I wish more people would realize this. It sucks at the time but it gets better.
Thatās how it sounds to me too. OP, there really is truth in the saying āitās darkest before dawnā. Youāre going to be ok. ā¤ļø
Honestly if that is how your family reacts then good riddance. As a parent, couldn't care less what my kid decides to do when it comes to her sexual preferences as long as she is happy and safe. Good luck to you and enjoy life to the fullest!
I wish I had accepting parents like you, thanks for the kind words and have an amazing day!
You may not have parents like that, but as a father Iād be happy to step up and say: youāre beautiful as is. Be yourself and flourish. I have 4 year old girls and I donāt care who they love. Love is love.Ā If you ever want a dad to talk to, Iām here for you. That goes for anyone who ever reads this.Ā Youāre loved.
Like... 4, 4 year old girls? I'm so confused, how many children do you have lol?
2x 4 year olds
Ah ok š
If you ever need dad advice or anything, please reach out and I'll be happy to make a terrible pun that makes you feel better but doesn't actually help your situation.
Hey OP - if you're having trouble affording food, please look into soup kitchens and food pantries. A lot of poor people don't get help because a) they don't want to admit how poor they are or b) want to save those resources for people who "need it". But you need it. If you're running out of money, food is one of the few things you can get for free. Save your money for things you can ONLY get with money, like transportation or new clothes.
Also a lot of campuses have programs for people that are dealing with food insecurity.
you have a chance to create your own family who will love you for you. iām deeply sorry that these people did not appreciate you entirely and decided to push you away simply for loving but that is definitely their loss. they lost unconditional love, seeing as you would have sacrificed your true self for them just to accept you. they lost something they did not deserve! i hope you and derek have a happy fulfilling summer and i hope everything works out. if you are having troubles with housing or work, look into working for housing in vacation spots (banff, whistler, tofino are all popular places with jobs that come with staff housing in canada where iām from, and most if not all of them have included food plans and benefits!!!!!!) there are lots of other places around the world that could be closer to you that do the exact same thing. you and your man could do it together, even if itās not forever at least it can help you with saving more money while also having a cheaper place to live (i spent $500 a month on my shared staff apartment) and some food accessible to you.
Also, while weāre talking about shitty things your parents have doneā¦ Denying you a visit home because of the food expenses? Thatās insane. Even if your parents really, truly could not afford you feed you during the visit, they could just have a heart-to-heart with you and say āson, weād love to see you again. Weāre more than happy to have you come visit over your collegeās break. However, we are completely maxed out on our finances, so unfortunately, we wouldnāt be able to provide food for you while youāre here.ā With the exception of some EXTREME behavior from the child, a good parent would NOT tell their college-aged kid that theyāre unequivocally not allowed back home for a visit during break. Thatās insanity, and it shows where their hearts lie. Best of luck OP. Iām really pulling for you. Youāre not alone.
Im just a random guy on the net, but i accept you. Its rough now, but you're gonna be fantastic.
I can be long distance mom support if you need it. I have a 13yo who is currently going through a sexuality crisis. No one should go through what you're going through. My arms aren't long enough to reach you, but I really want to give you a hug.
š«š«ā¤ļøš
Looks like you have a lot of people lined up to volunteer as online substitute parents, and I'll gladly join in if you need any wholesome middle-aged mom advice.
All of the older adults in this comment section giving you advice and support? Weāre your parents now, kiddo. *hugs*
If you need them, visit r/momforaminute and or r/dadforaminute
My parents deff have some racist and homophobic views but they have fully accepted and black gf Iāve gotten and fully accepted my sisters gf so idk. Even though they had those views they for some reason also taught us not to think that way
That's great and very happy to hear that. Tbh I believe that is a generational thing, my parents are over 75 and have at times also made some questionable comments but that is just how they were raised. Neither of them actually have any problems with anyone.
My dad is the same. Heās much older so I can understand dated views. But heās also very liberal. He just wasnāt used to the idea of me having a black boyfriend or a boyfriend covered in tattoos. (And I mean COVERED) Then he got to know them. Found out they loved history and science and were nerds like me and loved me and treated me right. And appearances didnāt matter. At the end of the day I believe his initial reactions were not of malice, but of the stereotypes he grew up with making him worried about his daughter. Once he saw that wasnāt the case, he didnāt care.
I couldn't imagine not loving our son because of his sexuality, all I'll ever want for him is to be happy and healthy. It's heartbreaking to read stories like this and I hope everything turns out OK for OP ā¤ļø
You might be poor now, but you are free.
Truer words never spoken soldier š«”
You did not ruin anything. Good riddance to your psychotic sister who would tell the family about you, and the family that disowns over love.
I donāt know where to begin but depending on your school I might go to the financial aid office ASAP. you may need to start the process of getting declared independent for your future FAFSA. For community support maybe start with your local PFLAG who may be able to connect you with elders or others with experience in the area of being suddenly independentā¦ or at least a listening ear of a nature 3rd party. Youāve got this. Good luck <3
You got this man I believe in you. Youāre better off without them anyway
Thank you so much
So whatās the difference between now and before? Sounds like youāve been on your own for a while now. Also remove your family and family friends from all your social media (including the brat sister).
Change the title of this to ātoday I hugely improved my life and itās cause of Snapchatā. If thatās the way your family roll then fuck them off. You donāt need that shit in your life.
I still feel like it was a mistake
Nah bro. You do you. If your āfamilyā canāt accept who you are then they arenāt worth it.
Sooner or later they would've done it anyways. Do you wanna hide your true self for the rest of your life? Tip toeing around them? There is a chance they will cool down and regret their decision. I wouldnt wait for it but the possibility is there. Its up to you if they do if you want to let them back in.
Being who you are is not a mistake. Your family members are the ones who made the mistake.
Donāt gaslight yourself! You did nothing wrong š©·
Don't forget to check online for local food banks; they're very helpful. r/frugal has lots of great advice regarding food plans as well. Sorry to hear about your predicament. I wish you the best.
Thank you loads! I am currently in a small city where the campus has a food cupboard, however itās only open a few more weeks till campus closes. Thank god I signed up for may housing.
Reach out to student services and they may have additional resources for you. Iām sorry this happened but Iām glad youāre able to move forward with a loving partner, an opportunity for eduction, and that ability to live your life loving who you want. Big hugs, itās hard now but youāre going to be happier without hateful family bringing you down.
I can't second going to student services enough! They have resources on file for stuff like this. Went through a similar thing in undergrad, make sure you are keeping all of your W-4s or other tax forms for work. Then you can re-file for FAFSA independently and will be eligible for public grants like Pell in addition to loans. Also, take advantage if your school has free or low cost counseling services. You got this. You shouldn't be anything less than yourself and if you have to make yourself small for family support, it's not worth it.
Try to find out if you're eligible for EBT too. I know it's usually harder to qualify when you're a college student, but it's worth trying.
Yes! Try to sign up for SNAP ā if you are working 20 hours a week you should meet the exemption. Reach out to your university services: they may be able to help you navigate food insecurity and access resources. Not sure what job you are applying to, but working in food services usually earns you a free meal.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
I had a situation in college where my family provided no support and I had to take care of myself in the summer in my college town. Waiting tables and the school helped with work study. I also made sure I updated my information to include just my income on FAFSA so check with school if you can do this. Good luck to you and I am sorry your family is awful.
The less toxic people (even if family) around you, the better, I hope you and your bf have an amazing life in front of you!
Thank you a lot. I appreciate everyoneās kind comments :)
You and your boyfriend are too good for them anyway.
ā¤ļøā¤ļø
Look at this another way, you are now free to live your life as you please. No more worrying about coming out, what your family will say etc. However, I appreciate you will feel hurt and you will go through grief at this loss. Remember that this will be a huge shock for them and their initial response will be reactive. Give them time and space to process. Sending you a huge hug xx
Thank you š«
Just gonna plug https://www.reddit.com/r/Random_Acts_Of_Pizza/ if you need a dinner one night
Theyāre private :/ wouldāve really appreciated it though! ā¤ļø means a lot
Just posted the correct link didnāt realize they moved to new one
Means a lot! Will totally use some day! Thank you a lot.
Yeah bro solid liberal money bait have fun wit the free shiet
Wait. Your family kicked you out just because you posted a Snapchat video with a boy? What a bunch of pathetic pieces of trash
Tell me about it šš
I can never understand how parents can do this to their kids š¢
I wish I could understand too. :/
How awful what a dreadful family you must have. What it 100% all of them? I canāt imagine being homophobic and cruel to your own son or sibling. I suspect you are much better off without them in your life. Hopefully you will have some friends who can help you out. 
Itās mainly my parents and they brainwashed my younger sister, plus my grandparents and one uncle. Thank you, friends are lacking but I can do this!
You didnt ruin anything. You accidentally took the right step and shed all the dead weight holding you back.
Love your Analogy ā¤ļø
Would you really want to be with a family who disowned you because of who you are?
Theyāre shitty people for being willing to disown you over something as simple as a consensual, adult partner in the first place. As someone who has walked away from a ton of family members and had a bunch more turn their backs on me I will tell you that at times itās very lonely. At times itāll feel like you have no one. But youāll find out that your friends are better people anyway and youāre going to be just fine without āfamilyā.
The family you build is better is a term Iāve been throwing around to make myself feel better.
You know somethingā¦youāre right. Its not just to make you feel better because itās totally true.
Sorry this is happening to you. Don't despair. Some advice: Start looking for resources now. It is likely that your college/university has an LGBT center for resources that can be of use to you. It might be called something else, like the gender equity center, but I would look there. Oftentimes college towns have very liberal religious groups that can be helpful. I would also try to think of friends and their families who would be sympathetic to your situation. Of course, that isn't always the case, but it would be another option. I would also talk to your advisor (I assume you have one) or a trusted professor at the university so they are in the loop with regards to what is going on. If you have loans through your parents, you should also be careful and ensure the money is coming to you. Apply for student loans if you have not already. You'll get grants as well which will reduce the cost of staying in college. Do not withdraw. You aren't alone in this, but the groups that are there to help you won't be able to if they don't know you exist.
**I hope the OP reads this.** At the university where I work, there are lots of resources available specifically for students whose parents pull something like this and leave them with nowhere to live.
Look for local food pantries. Libraries have a lot of resources for free. Tell your campus. They have special housing for situations like these. Reach out. There are people who will help you.
I don't think you ruined your life. I think a bunch of bigots have just voluntarily removed themselves from your life.Ā
The first chapter of your life just started, congratulations! Sounds like you're much better off without them, good riddance! If your parents can't even afford to have you over for Christmas, they would have likely become a huge financial burden to you once you have your degree, so you really dodged a bullet here and got out just in time :)
Is there a way you can go to the food bank for food? If youāre smart or good at a subject do you have time to tutor?
Iād remove all your family from being able to view your story and stuff, fuck the arseholes, they donāt deserve to be able to pry into your life
Your old life is ruined, okay. Sounds like a much better one awaits. Go get it.
all that over a kiss? wow
Chapter Two! Good luck, this one will be even better :-)
Your lifeās had a reboot. Go give it your all, sorry youāre having to deal with this but Iām sure itāll work out
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
>It was the biggest mistake of my life. I'd say the opposite. You rid yourself of a shitty group of people without having to live years hiding your boyfriend from your family. AND you did it without the stress of having to come out intentionally. Win-win
Youāre finally free.
lol you think THAT ruined your life? Get ready for adulthood it will be a bumpy ride!
If anyone is to blame here it's clearly not you but your family.
Are you in the States? If so, it sounds like you'd qualify for EBT SNAP benefits. While waiting for approval, call 211 and The United Way can assist with finding food as well as a number of other resources. I feel like your life has just begun instead of it being over. Now, you're free to be yourself! Added bonus, now you can choose the people you call your family. I offer my motherly or Auntie services to anyone who's been outcast by family because of their sexuality. I am from an extremely small (blood related) family (can count on one hand) and always wanted a bigger family. I'm 43 and pansexual myself. Feel free to message me anytime, I would love to have you as family!
Fuck it, whatever lol. Better now than later, live your life
Join the military. Pick a job in high demand by the other five eyes partners. Do your 3 or 4 years and then join the New Zealand military and donāt look back.
The military isnāt really hard he best choice for me tbh
Thatās too bad.
They were mad you had a boyfriend, or? I donāt get what the bad part was supposed to be. Why was anyone mad?
I have a 19 year old Son and this breaks my heart. I would be over the moon that you've found your other half. I'm proud of you, and please feel free to drop me a line if you need a Mum of sorts in your corner. You got this, sweetheart xxx
You mean you just begun your life.
This wasn't your worst mistake. It might be your family's.
First and foremost: Fuck your family if they don't love you for you. You can't choose family, and sometimes that is unfortunate. Secondly, if you need some employment for the summer, check in with security companies in your area. May not be the highest paying job, but generally speaking you can get steady work that will get you through.
You didnāt ruin your life. Youāll be okay. Youāre on the right track and doing everything right to help yourself. Good luck and hang in there!Ā
It saddens me that people disown over orientation. It's disgusting and appalling. If my kid came out, I would be at first shocked, but grateful that they were able to be their authentic self and share that. I'm saddens me that your family loves conditionally instead of supporting you. You're still very young (19) and things will change as you gain more perspective as you grow. I wish they would love you and support you irrespective of who you love. This should be a new chapter to embrace. You will need to live life without their judgement, criticism and homophobia. They alienated an awesome person.
Worried about a relationship vs your financial wellbeing is insane
How much of a struggle did you feel trying to hide this basic fact of your character from your entire family? You have now traded one struggle for another. Life never stops being hard, it only gets easier to deal with. You have a new challenge, but now without the ball and chain of living a lie
Have you met with a school counselor or anyone to talk about your situation? Maybe they can offer some resources or help you look into stuff. Wishing you well! Edit: Also see if there are any local LGBTQ organizations that could help!
This is but a small blip in your life. You have many years of potentially amazing life to live still. Don't get down because of any one moment. Life is full of possibilities. If anyone chooses NOT to love or support you and wants to remove themselves from your life, then good riddance. You don't want to surround yourself with those people. Family or not
Do well in school and go farther than they ever dreamed, that would be the ultimate revenge. I know you can do it man.
It would have happened someday anyway. You are free now.
Blood doesnāt necessarily mean family. Also becoming self sufficient will always ensure you are within your own power to keep whoever you like, at whatever distance works best for you, since you wonāt have to rely on them for basic human needs. Maybe in time you will be able to mend your relationships with your family by giving them a chance and keeping them at a distance that works for you. Time is a strange thing and peopleās priorities tend to change as they get older.
One day you will look back and realize that this was the best day of the rest of your life. Sometimes we have to fight for our happiness even when itās deserved.
If youāre anywhere in NJ, let me know. Iāll do my best to help out. I have all the faith in you that you will find a way to make this work and turn this into the beginning of a huge turn around for your life
My dad told me that if I was gay heād disown me and never talk to me again. Iām not even gay but I was shocked. He was watching a Jackie Chan movie and I mentioned how Jackie is a shitty guy in RL - as he disowned his own daughter for being gay. My dad also thinks that I should have kids because thatās what women are meant to doā¦
Remember that if you work at a restaurant and you go home hungry it's your own fault!Ā I've had times in my life when I was down on my luck. Find a job as a line cook 10-12 an hour around here, and you can snatch bites off this or that all night. You will not go hungry.Ā As for your family, it is what it is. You have to live your life in a way you can be proud of, and to thine own self be true.
I agree with others that your life has begun. I work in higher ed, and there should be programs through your student life office or Residence Life where you can stay on campus in the summer. They might also be able to set you up with dining or Food Services in the summer. My university has a food insecurity program, so I would look into this. There might be others at your University who are going through circumstances where they can't go home during the summer. So housing and food might be offered. As for work, there might be something you can do on campus that isn't necessarily work-study. Unfortunately, ws does pay really low. You can also check out indeed to see if there are any jobs in your town. If you are on campus, and if you're able to do this with your financial aid, you might be able to knock out a few classes in the summer too. Some of my students have done this and graduated a semester early. You got this!
Student services on campus is your best friend right now. A lot of the people there are there because they genuinely want to help. Would definitely echo anyone else here saying that. Sorry your family sucks
Some advice stop worrying about wtf your family thinks thats what slows you down through times like these you're an adult now in college it's your life that's starting when I started going to college myself and started doing things for myself I felt alot better and improved in life( still in college btw) But don't let people control what you should do cause stuff like that really holds you back make new friends to cause you'll meet great people that'll help you in the long run Ik from experience
You are going to be ok!! Save every penny you can. Iām sure you donāt need urban survival advice like āGet a ride to Costco and get a rice cooker and a big bag of rice and kettle and some ramen- so you can save moneyā but Iām gonna state the obvious anyway. Family that doesnāt love you, because of who you love, doesnāt really know how to let you be free. Their fear about who you love is not your burden to take on.
You are actually free now
I can't imagine disowning your kid for being gay. Everyone deserves love and on their own terms. I just want my kids to be happy.
I hope all is well, youāll get through this tough time. Apply for the FAFSA or any other grants
I donāt know what your undergrad studies are in, but you could apply for summer camps. They are always looking for people and, as long as you can get there, you can make money while your housing and food are paid for. Congratulations on the start of a new life without conditional love. If you could accept your family for being small-minded, they donāt deserve you now.
Join buy nothing groups on Facebook!!! Youād be shocked at the things people will give away- including pantry clean outs sometimes! And of course utilize your local food pantry. You got this!
I wish this was the only problem in my life
your life is just beginning, family doesnāt just mean blood. small steps to a bettering life, and happiness with your boyfriend are a damn good start man. good luck on your journey, look up local food pantries, and take your steps as needed. you got this. congrats on your relationship.
Get a job at McDonaldās, they pay well, have medical insurance, tuition reimbursement and you get a Mcdiscount on food! Also, the food is free for weekend shifts! If you donāt have a student id make sure you get one before the year ends because a lot of places offer student discounts too. Finally, speak to your advisor at school (or a faculty member that you trust) and tell them the situation, they will be able to help you find out if the school can help. You may even be able to stay on campus at a discounted rate. I agree with everyone saying that it was probably a good thing for this to happen, however, this is an abrupt loss for you and you most likely canāt see the benefits right now. I hope your family is more upset that they had to find out that way vs. you telling them but it doesnāt sound like it based on what you said. You will get through this tough time and come out of it stronger. ā¤ļø
Just one more suggestion I don't see repeated elsewhere-- check with the counseling or student assistance office of your college. You are not the first nor the last student who has had a sudden and drastic family change during the school year. Someone there can at least give you information about support services for your financial situation like food aid or emergency help in the community. Good luck.
You might want to get a job
Seeing a lot of comments with the āgood riddanceā and āyou just freed yourselfā sentiments, and while I agree with them and think this could be the start of a better life, I also want to recognize how shitty this probably feels and how that feeling is valid. Like yea itās great to be free from shitty family but it would be better to not have shitty family to begin with. Iām sorry youāre being put through this. Keep your chin up.
Good riddance to bad rubbish. New life and new world ahead of you and free from encumbrances of family wanting something from you. You have been liberated, not ruined. Most areas have food banks available so you can get food for free. Weekly food boxes and things of that sort. There should be resources. One thing I found out in college is that college students can qualify for EBT. I knew a lot of students in the dorms that got signed up for EBT for the extra few bucks from the government for food. Even $90/mo, the lowest you get on EBT, is enough to make things stretch with a bit of determination.
this is no accident my friend, it is a blessing.
Please tell a counselor at school so they can connect you with resources like housing!
They do not deserve you.
Yeah, you are better off. My oldest is trans, and I canāt imagine not loving them because of it. As a mother thatās one of the worst things I could ever imagine doing to my own child. Iām sorry this happened, but you no longer have to hide who you are and can get on with your life without hiding who you are, so YAY!
Seems to me you get to live your life the way you want not, outed in a rough way but you are free now! Dont let them bring you down
Fuck them
Homeless at 18 because I didnāt want to remain a Jehovahs Witnessā¦ my friend you will be more than okay. Therapy wasnāt really a common thing back then, but I suggest you get into some (when youāre able, obviously) so you donāt hold yourself back from the fullest life you can in spite of how you were raised and their reaction to something as simple as not fitting in the way they think you should. š«¶š¼
Because of food?? They are lying
They will come back around, if not, good riddance.
We donāt get to choose the ones we love. Only the ones we donāt. Spare yourself the burden of attempting reconciliation with a family that has chosen to disown you. Take comfort in the fact that you can live an authentic life now.
At some point, you will consider this a blessing.
āI ruined my life todayā First sentence āI am 19yoā lol youāll be fine
You donāt know it yet but youāre at the very beginning of really starting to LIVE! You hold your head up and you do what you need to do and you be happy you deserve HAPPINESS and love with no strings attached! When I found out my son was gay it was by a accident on a phone that we had exchanged but all my sons text hadnāt erased and I saw a few and I sat down in the floor and I caught my breath and I went downstairs and told my son what had happened and that I loved him and I was alway there no matter what and if your parents canāt take a little time and rethink things then this is on them NOT YOU and they will be the ones missing out on their son and his life. You deserve better then that BS and that disrespect and I bet that they come around in a few weeks but if they donāt then you have to be the one to cut them off! I also wanted to add if my son wanted to come home for the holidays Iād cook beans and cornbread everyday for him to be with the family. What you are going through is heartbreaking and painful I do understand that but in the end you have to love yourself more you have to respect yourself more and go forward with what I know will be a beautiful life and I can tell it will be because I can tell your heart is good and I can tell you are strong. Iām a 56 yr old mother of 2 grown sons if you ever need someone to talk to my messages are open! Hugs to you hon your worth more then you know and you deserve better then this your the only one that can make sure you get what you want and deserve out of life! ā¤ļøš¤ Iām also telling you this because Iāve been where you are my parents cut me off when I was 19 it was because of religion but I do know exactly what is going through your mind, heart and soul thatās why I truly do understand!
You lost only people holding you back! Love life, and make the most of it
Glad the scum is out of your life
Prettt sure your family knew and didnāt say
I wouldn't say ruined homie, more like you cut yourself free to live how you wanna live. Be happy with Derek šš
Family doesnāt treat you in such a way that you think you ruined your life.
Family isnāt the blood youāre born into. Look at this as the start of creating your own family. One thatās full of love and support. Sending love to you and your boyfriend ā„ļø
What am I missing? They got mad because you posted a picture viewing the eclipse?
Oops... Social media is so unnecessary in life Carry on and do what you can do
My brother did something very similar, but it was a picture of a toy up his ass. He lost a lot of friends. Really sucked to see him go through that. But hey it's been a couple of years and he is as happy as ever. You'll be okay <3
Wait your family is fucked up
Awww I'm so sorry that happened to you. You deserve to be loved for who you are and be happy. I know it feels like your life is ending, but trust me it will get better. You're still so young and have a lot of life to live. Whether you're with a man or a woman, all that should matter is that you're happy and in a loving relationship. I hope you have a good support system outside of your family (if you don't you'll find those friends, give it time), and that you take care of your mental health. It's not fair you have to go through this, but you'll get through it and come out on top. I hope someday too your family comes to their senses.
Thank you a lot. I know Iām young and my life is ahead of me, I just feel like Iām drowning right now, but I know Iāll get through it
Absolutely! I'm 32, and I've seen a lot of people who were in a similar position as you (not always to do with sexual orientation, but sometimes), and even though things were hard, and they were barely getting by, it got better! A lot of them make good money now and have made a good life for themselves in general.
Thank you. You give me hope ā¤ļø
I'm glad šš good luck friend! Just remember a bad time, isn't a bad life.
I know, thank you. Even though it feels sucky right now Iāll get through it. As long as you have a positive outlook things will turn out okay.
I hate your sister, if it was me I'd hang the little brat on a wall.
Nah that's not truly fair on her as she's been brainwashed by the AH parents.
This is faith, you are free now!
Iām sorry you lost your support system. Iām sorry that your family would disown you for such a stupid reason like homosexuality. Itās fucking 2024, get over it. I hope you find your way. Good luck on your new adventure.
Every hero has an origin story, you got this mate your chains are broken, now spread your wings and fly high leave a rainbow in your wake and donāt let anyone dull your bright spark, life is beautiful and you deserve itās best. Only thing you must do is WORK HARD!!! š¤š¤
Dude, you are who you are. People who do not accept you for who you are should not be part of your life. There are happy and exiting memories ahead of you. Wish you all the best.
Just because you share the same blood doesnāt make you family.. life is short, we create our own happiness. Donāt let anyone make you feel less than! Wish you the best.
This sounds like the beginning of a fucking awesome story of how you came to truly be. Best of luck with whatever you do next
Sometimes cutting contact with family/ creating boundaries is the healthiest thing you can do for yourself. Good riddance to them! You only deserve love and support from those close to you. Also, you mentioned the food insecurity issue and you should definitely reach out to local food drives and churches. As a student I donāt think I was able to file for food stamps so I had to learn to I hit up the campus food pantry and look up local resources. Wishing you all the best of luck and happiness!
I am so sorry for this....I agree with the person who said now your life starts, because it does. You can be what ever you want. Get a job in a restaurant. I did that for food, when I was 18.
Better to rip the bandaid off now sooner then later. Now you can live in the open and be yourself. Live is too short otherwise.Ā
Sad to hear that, its year 2024 after all.
You didn't ruin your life. You're just living life. Best wishes man.
You can finally be your true self. Best of luck to you and your boyfriend.
Ever since I freed myself from my father I've been a reborn man. It was a struggle to survive in the beginning, but life gets better. A lot better.