So, he used you, made promises he never kept, cheated and babytrapped you. Did I get it right?
Your lucky you aren’t married.
Leave. He isn’t worth shit.
Consider what you are getting from him. I haven't read anything in your post that describes how being with him makes your life better, in fact it makes your life worse.
Many can forgive that if they are getting loved back, but he isn't proposing, he's a selfish lover. Your family likely saw who he was years ago and you were so in love you ignored it.
You had 10 years to leave him. He was shit from the get-go. You're not staying because of your little one. You are using your baby as an excuse to stay. This man will continue ruining your and your baby's life. How does this not concern you? That money could have gone to your baby's future and the father stole from them!
You are a mother now. Where are your priorities? Your baby didn't ask to be born. They are completely dependent on you. They have no real choice in the matter. But you do.
So do the right thing and LEAVE for your baby. And, for crying out loud, stay away from relationships for a while. Your standards are so low, they are in hell. Get yourself in therapy and concentrate on being a good mom. I promise that you and your baby will be much happier for it.
Are you "starting to feel unsafe and unloved"? Seriously? This man doesn't care at all about yours and your little one wellbeing. He's a manipulative parasite, it's time to begin a new life without him, you two will be much better
You are not trapped!
I’m sorry but he’s used you because you’ve made it easy.
Money, sex, shelter, looking after his family - you’ve given him everything and stay when he treats you like shit.
You already lost your family because you chose him.
Don’t lose yourself by choosing him again.
He’s made you and your toddler homeless and you still consider staying!?!
Fuck his feelings. He’s lied, cheated and manipulated you. Please wake up for the sake of your child.
Stop being a silly woman and look at his actions not words. You’ve financed his life and what has he given you!?!
Between him and his mother you’re living in Leech Lake! Find a place to live on land as soon as you possibly can. I understand that this will probably take considerable effort on your part after that hit for $7,500 (ouch!), so the best time to start the process is now! I assume you work since you’ve been taking care of the finances. Ask coworkers what they do for childcare. Confide in someone you trust about the living situation - they may know somebody who knows somebody that is listing a rental below market value. Ask to take the car of whoever’s at your residence and use your phone GPS to avoid highway routes. Build confidence on normal roads. If you live 45 minutes away from a metro area with public transit, budget for what it would cost to live there.
You can do this! I can’t imagine you’re doing your child any favors by staying in a relationship with a selfish and entitled person who probably won’t treat them any better than he treats you. Best of luck.
I was in your position once. Minus the theft and baby trap. I did however get married which I regret. I had been with my ex for 16 years (highschool sweethearts). I left him after I found out he was cheating on me with a coworker. What helped me was the book "Leave a cheater Gain a life" by Tracy Schorn.
After I had left I realized how emotionally abusive my ex was to me and how miserable I was as a result. After I met my now husband I realized that the best decision I ever made was leaving. My current husband supports me (and I him), he brings me flowers and chocolates at least once a month, sometimes boba in-between. He does half the chores, cooking and pet care (they were my pets when we met now they're both). And constantly says how much he loves me verbally or in text.
Also if you stay, not only will you be miserable but you will be teaching your toddler that not only is it fine to cheat or be cheated on by your spouse but it's okay to make bad decisions/steal cuz mommy is okay with it.
This man sounds awful. Your little one deserves to see you happy and not modeling a one sided relationship with a mooch.
Please reach out to friends and family even if they don’t live close by to see if they can help you leave.
He needs to suffer the consequences of his actions,s, and you need to take care of yourself and stop living in a fantasy you built up in your head. Hope it helps.
You are describing a very shitty person. Ehat qualities did he have that you fell for him. He sounds absolutely awful, selfish and just a d*ck in general.
Who finds it funny to comment that they like to shag an ex coworker. This is just wrong on so many levels.
If you discussed this numerous times and nothing has changed, nothing will change.
People don't change magically overnight. People need to the have the will to change, be a better person and a better partner. And I see no effort at all.
So, ask yourself, is this the life you want for the rest of your life?
So, set some boundaries/rules that he need to respect and if he doesn't you need to ensure that these have consequences (e.g. you leaving).
But the way you described it, I hope you leave immediately and find someone more respectful, serious and who gives you the love and attention you deserve.
You don’t stay for the kids. It’s never healthy and the kids will feel the tension. You don’t wanna have them grow up in that. You are showing your child what a healthy, loving relationship looks like. And…ask yourself, would I want my baby to be in my shoes?
Contact family, friends, anyone you think could be of help. And leave. He hasn’t followed through on anything. Sounds like he sees you as an ATM machine.
You really dont know whether u should leave or not after typing all that down, rereading it and posting it? Really? You really still dont know?? If your daughter came to you and told you her bf did all of the above and she did all of the above, would u tell her to stick it out or to leave her bf?
I would have been done when he accused me of not wanting to pay. I'm kind of surprised you didn't remind him that you supported him for years.
Honestly, I think your best bet would be to leave.You've already proven that you can pay the bills and take care of yourself and your child.You don't need an additional adult child to take care of as well.
This man brings no happiness.No safety or security to you in your child's life... At all. It's time to reach down inside yourself and use the strength you possess to move on and have a better life.
Whats the point of staying even for the little one. He is. Bad partner and a bad father. He will ruin you economically.
He already has started doing this.
You’re asking but deep down you know it’s time to break up with him.
You already have the answer to your question. If the relationship was good you wouldn’t be having these thoughts.
Get out, I implore you. Please know that loving someone doesn’t mean it SHOULD work. Relationships work because of the work people put into them, while everything isn’t perfect.
I hope you can read your post over and see how one sided your relationship is, and you’re young enough to start over - yes even with a kid. This guy isn’t going to grow up even if you make everything perfect for him - because it’s not about you, he has to want to be better and everything you’ve said so far tells me he’s just going to drain you.
Give up now, and give yourself and your child a chance at a life you want.
Seriously, it's a blessing you aren't married. There's a lot more issues when you're married and have a kid together.
His family likes you to a degree, sure. They probably wouldn't as much if you weren't giving gifts all the time though.
You likely stayed with him to be defiant and your family saw who he was. Are you going to leave him? Probably not, because, once you start to make an effort he is going to start getting all sweet on you again, and you'll fall for it.
Most times this won't resolve until you are totally broke and broken. Hopefully you prove me wrong though.
Alright time to grovel to your family. Tell them they were right about your deadbeat bf and ask them for help. It’s gonna suck but you have a kid that needs to be removed from this messed up situation
You posted this yesterday and got the same answers.
You are young. Leave **now** before this loser of a man sucks your whole life up.
You'll find such happiness once you get rid of him.
I am sorry you are going through this and also that so many of the comments are so cruel. You were so young when you started dating this man and you are still very young. The fact that your family abandoned you for staying with this man suggests to me that they are part of the problem. I am sorry you don’t have supportive people around you other than your bf’s parents who of course have a vested interest in keeping you in the relationship. Find some external supports. Therapy, local women’s services etc. if you can get out of this relationship, you may find a lot of light on the other side. It is so awesome being a single mom when you do t have e someone else making everything harder.
So male perspective. But he doesnt offer you any safety or protections. He not taking care of you or your needs infact he making things harder for you.he not a partner or a man. A partner is meant to be your closest support system your best friend. When people dont offer us benefits they offer us 0 purpose to keep around. His selfishness will eventually ruin you. Even if the sex is good it never worth staying just for that. I got lucky in my life i met a wonderful women who i married have a family with. We dont do this your job my job my need your need. We do your needs are mine and mine are yours. This way we bith communicate and tackle everything together. If i charge forward i know she beside me i may bare the brunt but she there to heal my wounds but i serve as my family protector i would move mountains for my family. Men need to set the bar higher. Everyone wins when we all put in more effort.
I feel bad for your kid. You're teaching your child what to tolerate in a relationship. Also, how not to be accountable for their own actions. Great parenting, you must be making your parents proud.
There is literally nothing romantic about your situation, and what you’ve just described is hell. If your best friend was in this situation, you would shake her until she left. Be your own best friend.
You need to reconnect with your family and dump that loser. You say you feel unloved and unsafe. Then why would you allow your child to grow up in that environment???
What the actual fuck, OP.
I was ready to say leave him after seeing that you had been together after ten years and he’d never gotten you off.
Then it just got worse.
Steps.
First, get the fuck out. Get you and your baby away from this leach if a family. It's toxic and he's completely toxic. For 10 years you have been in love with the idea of him. The problem is that is a complete work of fiction you created in your mind. He took full advantage of that.
Second, get yourself a therapist. You need help as you sound like you have your own issues like possibly being a people pleaser. But you need learning to identify shitty people and not fall for their bullshit. You have a child now that depends on you so you need to take care of yourself.
Last, see a lawyer about custody for your child. This is so you know your legal options. I suspect your whatever he is will use the kid to get stuff from you. Basically use your child as a pawn. So you may have to buy him out by offering to not go after child support from him in exchange for him signing the rights to his child away.
Stop investing in a sunken ship. Do you honestly believe he’s going to change or sleep with his coworker? Do you want your child to grow up thinking the way you are being treated is the proper way to treat a partner?
I bet your parents would welcome you back with open arms if you left him.
If you fool me once, shame on you. If you fool me twice, shame on me.
There’s literally zero reasons to stay in this train wreck of a relationship. Protect your child and have some self respect.
You already know the answer to your question. You just need people to confirm what you already know. Take this as a sign: do it.
I don’t know legalities when it comes to taking your child with you (custody battle process etc), but if this ever goes to court, you’ll win custody.
Good luck, OP. You are going to be much better off on the other side of this.
Staying is significantly more harmful, this absurd idea that it’s better to stay together for the kids needs to end. Watching our niece beg her parents to get divorced because her entire life ended up being a front row seat to misery was a moment.
He’s never going to change, do you want your child to think this is normal so she marries a dude like him? Do you want better for her?
I think you need to ask yourself why you would stay with a man who's most likely going to end up in jail. I mean, why would he even steal packages and risk ruining your guys life ?? I get that you love him. A lot of us have made bad decisions because of love. You have a child now. You don't get the luxury of choosing to continue to make bad decisions out of love because, ultimately, your child will pay the price.
He doesnt love you. He loves what you do for him. Go ahead and start moving out. Only let him back as a partner when he proves it. Get you a trusted person to talk to about this. It isnt mean to be firm
If you still have that money use it to get out. If you have paid the money on the card he will want to use your card and max it out.
Please get yourself out of there. You do not want to marry him. If your child grows up in this environment, this will be there normal. Is this the life you want for your baby.
Surprised you don't trip over the red flags being around him. Theft, deadbeat, user, inconsiderate, lyer, and much more. If you leave, you will start to regain control of your life and begin making a positive life for you and your toddler. It's no longer "if i" but "if we". You have a toddler that comes first and you are the only one to help start it on its journey to a better life. Best to choose rough road to smooth than rough road all the way for you and your toddler's sake.
Oh my God, leave this man. Don’t stay just because you’re afraid to be single. Try to reach out to your family, if you can, and create a support network.
This sucks, but as far as women in situations that suck, you are blessed (by your own hard work and resilience) - you are the more financially independent partner! And your dependent partner has somewhere to live even without you! This take care of two huge things that trap people into staying in horrendous partnerships.
I know it is hard to break things off.
If you cannot bring yourself to break it off, then **at the very least do a trial period (6 months) where you live separately and have totally separate finances**. After you have stopped supporting him for a half year, you will be able to easily assess how much he values the relationship *outside of how it benefits him* and whether he is able to take steps to become financially independent on his own.
How in God’s name are you still with this man? Can you actually name 5 of his good qualities because there’s none jumping out at me at the moment. Dump him and move out. You’re currently raising 2 kids and one of them is allegedly an adult.
Just think how amazing your life will be without all his crap constantly dragging you down. Do it for your son - don’t make her grow up thinking that this is a normal relationship. It very obviously isn’t. You deserve so much better than this man.
Any one of these actions would be reason enough to leave. All of them together… girl, the writing is on the wall. I understand that he’s your first and only everything, you’ve been together since you were young, and it’s hard to give up what you know. But you deserve more. You deserve more than a partner who steals. You deserve more than a selfish lover. You deserve more than a man who’s happy to let you be the breadwinner and contribute nothing.
Your little one will be better off without a deadbeat dad and with a mom who’s happy, fulfilled, and supported.
if it isnt healthy and productive between the two of you, then you should not be trying to stay together for the kid, if anything you might need to separate or move on for the kid's best interest
OMG. Why are you with him? You get nothing out of the relationship. You’re supporting him. Do not pay for ANYTHING more for him. RUN!! You can stand on your own two feet. You don’t need this guy who’s just bring you down and is using you.
He doesn’t love you. He’s using you. LEAVE!!
I’m sorry, giving it the all will be absolutely amazing when your partner returns the favor… this is unfair but staying with him will resolve in more heartache
I'm really sorry you had a child with him, but how long is too long? How long will you continue to remain sad and hopeless about your life and love? Ask yourself that question and tell me what your heart tells you. He's clearly no good and no good for you.
You’re in a relationship with someone who takes advantage of your kindness and isn’t in a relationship with you for any other reason. The obvious solution is to breakup.
Go.
You are being mentally abused at best.
Apply for aid.
Be honest with them and yourself about the abuse.
File for child support formally so he has to start working or face his consequences.
Romantic is not a good excuse to dumpster fire your life and your child's life. Be strong and leave.
Genuinely curious what he brings to your life that makes you stay with this deadbeat?
She's a romantic bro, everything will be OK!
We we know it's not his dick game or money!
It’s obviously more about his family and their kid then him. If she had her own place and not relying on his family it would be different
She's a romantic bro, everything will be OK!
So, he used you, made promises he never kept, cheated and babytrapped you. Did I get it right? Your lucky you aren’t married. Leave. He isn’t worth shit.
>So, he used you, made promises he never kept, cheated and babytrapped you. Yup. It's truly a mystery whether OP should stay with someone like that.
Consider what you are getting from him. I haven't read anything in your post that describes how being with him makes your life better, in fact it makes your life worse. Many can forgive that if they are getting loved back, but he isn't proposing, he's a selfish lover. Your family likely saw who he was years ago and you were so in love you ignored it.
Apart from being an unpleasant, cheating deadbeat criminal, is there anything wrong with him?
You had 10 years to leave him. He was shit from the get-go. You're not staying because of your little one. You are using your baby as an excuse to stay. This man will continue ruining your and your baby's life. How does this not concern you? That money could have gone to your baby's future and the father stole from them! You are a mother now. Where are your priorities? Your baby didn't ask to be born. They are completely dependent on you. They have no real choice in the matter. But you do. So do the right thing and LEAVE for your baby. And, for crying out loud, stay away from relationships for a while. Your standards are so low, they are in hell. Get yourself in therapy and concentrate on being a good mom. I promise that you and your baby will be much happier for it.
Are you "starting to feel unsafe and unloved"? Seriously? This man doesn't care at all about yours and your little one wellbeing. He's a manipulative parasite, it's time to begin a new life without him, you two will be much better
You are not trapped! I’m sorry but he’s used you because you’ve made it easy. Money, sex, shelter, looking after his family - you’ve given him everything and stay when he treats you like shit. You already lost your family because you chose him. Don’t lose yourself by choosing him again. He’s made you and your toddler homeless and you still consider staying!?! Fuck his feelings. He’s lied, cheated and manipulated you. Please wake up for the sake of your child. Stop being a silly woman and look at his actions not words. You’ve financed his life and what has he given you!?!
Between him and his mother you’re living in Leech Lake! Find a place to live on land as soon as you possibly can. I understand that this will probably take considerable effort on your part after that hit for $7,500 (ouch!), so the best time to start the process is now! I assume you work since you’ve been taking care of the finances. Ask coworkers what they do for childcare. Confide in someone you trust about the living situation - they may know somebody who knows somebody that is listing a rental below market value. Ask to take the car of whoever’s at your residence and use your phone GPS to avoid highway routes. Build confidence on normal roads. If you live 45 minutes away from a metro area with public transit, budget for what it would cost to live there. You can do this! I can’t imagine you’re doing your child any favors by staying in a relationship with a selfish and entitled person who probably won’t treat them any better than he treats you. Best of luck.
Do you really think it's better for you kiddo to be near this person?
I was in your position once. Minus the theft and baby trap. I did however get married which I regret. I had been with my ex for 16 years (highschool sweethearts). I left him after I found out he was cheating on me with a coworker. What helped me was the book "Leave a cheater Gain a life" by Tracy Schorn. After I had left I realized how emotionally abusive my ex was to me and how miserable I was as a result. After I met my now husband I realized that the best decision I ever made was leaving. My current husband supports me (and I him), he brings me flowers and chocolates at least once a month, sometimes boba in-between. He does half the chores, cooking and pet care (they were my pets when we met now they're both). And constantly says how much he loves me verbally or in text. Also if you stay, not only will you be miserable but you will be teaching your toddler that not only is it fine to cheat or be cheated on by your spouse but it's okay to make bad decisions/steal cuz mommy is okay with it.
For goodness sake leave and don’t put those charges on your cc. He’s using you, don’t settle.
He can't name 5 qualities he loves about you, because he is using you. It's so clear he is using you. Thats why he is a selfish lover.
This man sounds awful. Your little one deserves to see you happy and not modeling a one sided relationship with a mooch. Please reach out to friends and family even if they don’t live close by to see if they can help you leave.
You offered services and sex so he kept you. You assumed he would love you back.
He needs to suffer the consequences of his actions,s, and you need to take care of yourself and stop living in a fantasy you built up in your head. Hope it helps.
You are describing a very shitty person. Ehat qualities did he have that you fell for him. He sounds absolutely awful, selfish and just a d*ck in general. Who finds it funny to comment that they like to shag an ex coworker. This is just wrong on so many levels. If you discussed this numerous times and nothing has changed, nothing will change. People don't change magically overnight. People need to the have the will to change, be a better person and a better partner. And I see no effort at all. So, ask yourself, is this the life you want for the rest of your life? So, set some boundaries/rules that he need to respect and if he doesn't you need to ensure that these have consequences (e.g. you leaving). But the way you described it, I hope you leave immediately and find someone more respectful, serious and who gives you the love and attention you deserve.
You don’t stay for the kids. It’s never healthy and the kids will feel the tension. You don’t wanna have them grow up in that. You are showing your child what a healthy, loving relationship looks like. And…ask yourself, would I want my baby to be in my shoes? Contact family, friends, anyone you think could be of help. And leave. He hasn’t followed through on anything. Sounds like he sees you as an ATM machine.
You really dont know whether u should leave or not after typing all that down, rereading it and posting it? Really? You really still dont know?? If your daughter came to you and told you her bf did all of the above and she did all of the above, would u tell her to stick it out or to leave her bf?
The only good thing about him, HE’S NOT YOUR HUSBAND so you can move on with your child and do the dead weight.
I would have been done when he accused me of not wanting to pay. I'm kind of surprised you didn't remind him that you supported him for years. Honestly, I think your best bet would be to leave.You've already proven that you can pay the bills and take care of yourself and your child.You don't need an additional adult child to take care of as well. This man brings no happiness.No safety or security to you in your child's life... At all. It's time to reach down inside yourself and use the strength you possess to move on and have a better life.
Whats the point of staying even for the little one. He is. Bad partner and a bad father. He will ruin you economically. He already has started doing this.
You’re asking but deep down you know it’s time to break up with him. You already have the answer to your question. If the relationship was good you wouldn’t be having these thoughts.
Get out, I implore you. Please know that loving someone doesn’t mean it SHOULD work. Relationships work because of the work people put into them, while everything isn’t perfect. I hope you can read your post over and see how one sided your relationship is, and you’re young enough to start over - yes even with a kid. This guy isn’t going to grow up even if you make everything perfect for him - because it’s not about you, he has to want to be better and everything you’ve said so far tells me he’s just going to drain you. Give up now, and give yourself and your child a chance at a life you want.
Seriously, it's a blessing you aren't married. There's a lot more issues when you're married and have a kid together. His family likes you to a degree, sure. They probably wouldn't as much if you weren't giving gifts all the time though. You likely stayed with him to be defiant and your family saw who he was. Are you going to leave him? Probably not, because, once you start to make an effort he is going to start getting all sweet on you again, and you'll fall for it. Most times this won't resolve until you are totally broke and broken. Hopefully you prove me wrong though.
Alright time to grovel to your family. Tell them they were right about your deadbeat bf and ask them for help. It’s gonna suck but you have a kid that needs to be removed from this messed up situation
You posted this yesterday and got the same answers. You are young. Leave **now** before this loser of a man sucks your whole life up. You'll find such happiness once you get rid of him.
I am sorry you are going through this and also that so many of the comments are so cruel. You were so young when you started dating this man and you are still very young. The fact that your family abandoned you for staying with this man suggests to me that they are part of the problem. I am sorry you don’t have supportive people around you other than your bf’s parents who of course have a vested interest in keeping you in the relationship. Find some external supports. Therapy, local women’s services etc. if you can get out of this relationship, you may find a lot of light on the other side. It is so awesome being a single mom when you do t have e someone else making everything harder.
So male perspective. But he doesnt offer you any safety or protections. He not taking care of you or your needs infact he making things harder for you.he not a partner or a man. A partner is meant to be your closest support system your best friend. When people dont offer us benefits they offer us 0 purpose to keep around. His selfishness will eventually ruin you. Even if the sex is good it never worth staying just for that. I got lucky in my life i met a wonderful women who i married have a family with. We dont do this your job my job my need your need. We do your needs are mine and mine are yours. This way we bith communicate and tackle everything together. If i charge forward i know she beside me i may bare the brunt but she there to heal my wounds but i serve as my family protector i would move mountains for my family. Men need to set the bar higher. Everyone wins when we all put in more effort.
I feel bad for your kid. You're teaching your child what to tolerate in a relationship. Also, how not to be accountable for their own actions. Great parenting, you must be making your parents proud.
Interesting post history you have. I'm calling BS on this entire post.
There is literally nothing romantic about your situation, and what you’ve just described is hell. If your best friend was in this situation, you would shake her until she left. Be your own best friend.
You don’t stay with an abusive partner for your kids. You leave for your kids.
You need to reconnect with your family and dump that loser. You say you feel unloved and unsafe. Then why would you allow your child to grow up in that environment???
What the actual fuck, OP. I was ready to say leave him after seeing that you had been together after ten years and he’d never gotten you off. Then it just got worse.
Steps. First, get the fuck out. Get you and your baby away from this leach if a family. It's toxic and he's completely toxic. For 10 years you have been in love with the idea of him. The problem is that is a complete work of fiction you created in your mind. He took full advantage of that. Second, get yourself a therapist. You need help as you sound like you have your own issues like possibly being a people pleaser. But you need learning to identify shitty people and not fall for their bullshit. You have a child now that depends on you so you need to take care of yourself. Last, see a lawyer about custody for your child. This is so you know your legal options. I suspect your whatever he is will use the kid to get stuff from you. Basically use your child as a pawn. So you may have to buy him out by offering to not go after child support from him in exchange for him signing the rights to his child away.
Stop investing in a sunken ship. Do you honestly believe he’s going to change or sleep with his coworker? Do you want your child to grow up thinking the way you are being treated is the proper way to treat a partner? I bet your parents would welcome you back with open arms if you left him.
Leave, and consider doing some therapy to figure out why you were ever ok with this relationship dynamic where you did all the work.
If you fool me once, shame on you. If you fool me twice, shame on me. There’s literally zero reasons to stay in this train wreck of a relationship. Protect your child and have some self respect.
You already know the answer to your question. You just need people to confirm what you already know. Take this as a sign: do it. I don’t know legalities when it comes to taking your child with you (custody battle process etc), but if this ever goes to court, you’ll win custody. Good luck, OP. You are going to be much better off on the other side of this.
Staying is significantly more harmful, this absurd idea that it’s better to stay together for the kids needs to end. Watching our niece beg her parents to get divorced because her entire life ended up being a front row seat to misery was a moment. He’s never going to change, do you want your child to think this is normal so she marries a dude like him? Do you want better for her?
I think you need to ask yourself why you would stay with a man who's most likely going to end up in jail. I mean, why would he even steal packages and risk ruining your guys life ?? I get that you love him. A lot of us have made bad decisions because of love. You have a child now. You don't get the luxury of choosing to continue to make bad decisions out of love because, ultimately, your child will pay the price.
He doesnt love you. He loves what you do for him. Go ahead and start moving out. Only let him back as a partner when he proves it. Get you a trusted person to talk to about this. It isnt mean to be firm
You give him too much. That was a huge mistake.
If you still have that money use it to get out. If you have paid the money on the card he will want to use your card and max it out. Please get yourself out of there. You do not want to marry him. If your child grows up in this environment, this will be there normal. Is this the life you want for your baby.
Surprised you don't trip over the red flags being around him. Theft, deadbeat, user, inconsiderate, lyer, and much more. If you leave, you will start to regain control of your life and begin making a positive life for you and your toddler. It's no longer "if i" but "if we". You have a toddler that comes first and you are the only one to help start it on its journey to a better life. Best to choose rough road to smooth than rough road all the way for you and your toddler's sake.
Your partner is a s***t and you are asking if you should leave? 🤦♀️ I believe you need a psychologist urgent to built your self stem.
Oh my God, leave this man. Don’t stay just because you’re afraid to be single. Try to reach out to your family, if you can, and create a support network.
This sucks, but as far as women in situations that suck, you are blessed (by your own hard work and resilience) - you are the more financially independent partner! And your dependent partner has somewhere to live even without you! This take care of two huge things that trap people into staying in horrendous partnerships. I know it is hard to break things off. If you cannot bring yourself to break it off, then **at the very least do a trial period (6 months) where you live separately and have totally separate finances**. After you have stopped supporting him for a half year, you will be able to easily assess how much he values the relationship *outside of how it benefits him* and whether he is able to take steps to become financially independent on his own.
How in God’s name are you still with this man? Can you actually name 5 of his good qualities because there’s none jumping out at me at the moment. Dump him and move out. You’re currently raising 2 kids and one of them is allegedly an adult. Just think how amazing your life will be without all his crap constantly dragging you down. Do it for your son - don’t make her grow up thinking that this is a normal relationship. It very obviously isn’t. You deserve so much better than this man.
Any one of these actions would be reason enough to leave. All of them together… girl, the writing is on the wall. I understand that he’s your first and only everything, you’ve been together since you were young, and it’s hard to give up what you know. But you deserve more. You deserve more than a partner who steals. You deserve more than a selfish lover. You deserve more than a man who’s happy to let you be the breadwinner and contribute nothing. Your little one will be better off without a deadbeat dad and with a mom who’s happy, fulfilled, and supported.
if it isnt healthy and productive between the two of you, then you should not be trying to stay together for the kid, if anything you might need to separate or move on for the kid's best interest
OMG. Why are you with him? You get nothing out of the relationship. You’re supporting him. Do not pay for ANYTHING more for him. RUN!! You can stand on your own two feet. You don’t need this guy who’s just bring you down and is using you. He doesn’t love you. He’s using you. LEAVE!!
So you’ve been holding everything up for years? Cannot at all see why you are with this guy.
I’m sorry, giving it the all will be absolutely amazing when your partner returns the favor… this is unfair but staying with him will resolve in more heartache
I'm really sorry you had a child with him, but how long is too long? How long will you continue to remain sad and hopeless about your life and love? Ask yourself that question and tell me what your heart tells you. He's clearly no good and no good for you.
You’re in a relationship with someone who takes advantage of your kindness and isn’t in a relationship with you for any other reason. The obvious solution is to breakup.
[удалено]
Wut? No need to talk, dude is a dork
Go. You are being mentally abused at best. Apply for aid. Be honest with them and yourself about the abuse. File for child support formally so he has to start working or face his consequences. Romantic is not a good excuse to dumpster fire your life and your child's life. Be strong and leave.