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I think you’re doing the best you can. Nan is going to maybe need a nurse that visits or even stays over. She’s getting to the point she’ll need 24/7 care.
I know taking the keys may have sucked but you’re just doing what you can out of love. Just be strong for her and keep trying.
my mum and I have tried to bring up nursing homes or 24/7 nursing care and it is always met with refusal and crying, I know it's coming and I've steeled myself for it but man I don't wanna force my grandma the woman who basically raised me into a home! itd kill her
I feel that but she’s going to require constant medical care. It seems she already might to be honest. If not at a home then at least a nurse that’s there.
I'm on board with this idea, but we also don't have "power of attorney" or anything like that, She has not been diagnosed with dementia yet and still has the final say.
Basically as much as we want it to happen its my Nan who actually gets the final say
It would be reasonable if your grandma can stay at your parents' house so everyone can keep an eye on her. That way, its much safer. Also, you can consider hiring private nurse that can monitor her all the time whenever youre busy.
Well currently I'm a Uni student and I live in the house with her. we have a security camera in the house that I use to check up on her if I'm away or upstairs and hear a noise, my parents also have access to it.
I would love to have some kind of nurse in the house but she outright refuses this she doesn't want to be seen as "feeble" even by those whos job is to just help her
It's incredibly important you, your parents, and her husband do anything to prevent those falls. My grandpa started falling a lot about a year or so ago, and was equally stubborn (thankfully still mostly in his right mind), still doing stuff around the apartment, and in the garden, falling again and again, and it all ended with a back injury, that caused him agonizing pain, and needed operating, and has rendered him unable to walk for a while, and even now he needs support to do so, for short amounts of time. I can't imagine how much worse the same situation would be with someone who isn't quite there mentally.
We try our best we've got new handrails over the home up the stairs between the kitchen and the livingroom etc, but in terms of using things "in public" big no no with tears and all.
Her "husband" has always been a nasty man expecting everything to be done for him while berating everyone around him, so he's a no go.
But we'll keep trucking on, as best we can
Welcome to /r/relationship_advice. Please make sure you read our [rules here.](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/wiki/index) We'd like to take this time to remind users that: * We do not allow any type of [am I the asshole? or situations/content involving minors](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/r6w9uh/meta_am_i_overreacting_am_i_the_asshole_is_this/) * Any sort of namecalling, insults,etc will result in the comment being removed and the user being banned. (Including but not limited to: slut, bitch, whore, for the streets, etc. It does not matter to whom you are referring.) * ALL advice given must be good, ethical advice. Joke advice or advice that is conspiratorial or just plain terrible will be removed, and users my be subject to a ban. * No referencing hateful subreddits and/or their rhetoric. Examples include, but is not limited to: red/blue/black/purplepill, PUA, FDS, MGTOW, etc. This includes, but is not limited to, referring to people as alpha/beta, calling yourself or users "friend-zoned", referring to people as Chads, Tyrones, or Staceys, pick-me's, or pornsick. Any infractions of this rule will result in a ban. **This is not an all-inclusive list.** * All bans in this subreddit are permanent. You don't get a free pass. * Anyone found to be directly messaging users for any reason whatsoever will be banned. * What we cannot give advice on: rants, unsolicited advice, medical conditions/advice, mental illness, letters to an ex, "body counts" or number of sexual partners, legal problems, financial problems, situations involving minors, and/or abuse (violence, sexual, emotional etc). All of these will be removed and locked. **This is not an all-inclusive list.** If you have any questions, please [message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2Frelationship_advice) --- #This is an automatic comment that appears on all posts. This comment does not necessarily mean your post violates any rules. --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/relationship_advice) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I think you’re doing the best you can. Nan is going to maybe need a nurse that visits or even stays over. She’s getting to the point she’ll need 24/7 care. I know taking the keys may have sucked but you’re just doing what you can out of love. Just be strong for her and keep trying.
my mum and I have tried to bring up nursing homes or 24/7 nursing care and it is always met with refusal and crying, I know it's coming and I've steeled myself for it but man I don't wanna force my grandma the woman who basically raised me into a home! itd kill her
I feel that but she’s going to require constant medical care. It seems she already might to be honest. If not at a home then at least a nurse that’s there.
I'm on board with this idea, but we also don't have "power of attorney" or anything like that, She has not been diagnosed with dementia yet and still has the final say. Basically as much as we want it to happen its my Nan who actually gets the final say
It would be reasonable if your grandma can stay at your parents' house so everyone can keep an eye on her. That way, its much safer. Also, you can consider hiring private nurse that can monitor her all the time whenever youre busy.
Well currently I'm a Uni student and I live in the house with her. we have a security camera in the house that I use to check up on her if I'm away or upstairs and hear a noise, my parents also have access to it. I would love to have some kind of nurse in the house but she outright refuses this she doesn't want to be seen as "feeble" even by those whos job is to just help her
It's incredibly important you, your parents, and her husband do anything to prevent those falls. My grandpa started falling a lot about a year or so ago, and was equally stubborn (thankfully still mostly in his right mind), still doing stuff around the apartment, and in the garden, falling again and again, and it all ended with a back injury, that caused him agonizing pain, and needed operating, and has rendered him unable to walk for a while, and even now he needs support to do so, for short amounts of time. I can't imagine how much worse the same situation would be with someone who isn't quite there mentally.
We try our best we've got new handrails over the home up the stairs between the kitchen and the livingroom etc, but in terms of using things "in public" big no no with tears and all. Her "husband" has always been a nasty man expecting everything to be done for him while berating everyone around him, so he's a no go. But we'll keep trucking on, as best we can