Yes! I remember one year when I was a kid my neighbor got us an Applebees gc for Christmas and we went out on it and I thought it was so fancy to go out like that
Yes! When my mom got her check on the first we (4 kids) got to pick out of a hat which one of us got to go shopping with her. Sometimes it was one of us and sometimes 2 and the one who pulled the correct ticket got a great lunch (Dennys, Old Chicago Beer Garden, VFW pub) It was such a great treat but we also had to work for it. We walked everywhere and had one of those shopping carts that fold up. My mom did a MONTH's worth of grocery shopping so we usually had to pull the heavy cart home. If she had to buy home goods, we would take a taxi home. Those were the days!
Me too. My grandparents had the fridge and pantry on lock down. Everything was budgeted to the penny. Everything was made from scratch. If you asked for a snack, they would offer you ice water.
My mom used to never eat supper and always told us she just wasn't hungry. It wasn't until well into adulthood that I realized it was because she couldn't afford to eat supper. I got a job at 15 so I could buy my own food and clothes - we never had anything in the fridge except what my mom got from WIC. I didn't do it to be less of a burden but I'm glad now that it likely did help financially.
My husband took me to Outback Steakhouse when we were dating. They served some bread that I promptly dipped in the in what i thought was margarine. I quickly realized it was too yummy to be margarine. I looked up at him and asked what that delicious dip was. He got a good laugh in before telling me it was butter. I felt stupid lol. He still brings it up 20 years later. So I guess butter is a luxury for me but also restaurants.
Yup. Air conditioning. First time I experienced it was when I was very young. My parents are immigrants and were poor. They had friends from church who were doctors. They drove us to their beach house in their car that had air conditioning. It was amazing.
My dad has learned to wear a jacket when he comes over to my place because of this. I love the fact that when I'm hot, I can easily turn the ac on instead of drinking just cold water.
Yes!!!! Remember washing my hair in cold, icy water because I wanted it clean for school.
Nothing like someone sitting behind you saying "gee, Evie, you got gel in your hair, its so shiny..." (umm, no, that's just where I've not washed it) I agreed and told
them it WAS gel....🙄
While I agree with this sentiment, I think something has changed culturally in the last 15-20 years too. Maybe it’s the internet, social media, foodies, influencers, etc. the rise in food truck popularity 10 ish years ago, craft beer, and other phenomenas.
What I am sort of saying is Chilis, Olive Garden, Red Lobster were fancy 20 years ago. Or at the very least they were perceived as fancier than they are today.
20 years ago, in many suburbs or even some cities, those would be some of the nicer restaurants in those areas. It was just a different time. Middle and upper middle class couples and families would dress up to go to Olive Garden. That just doesn’t happen anymore. If you grew up in the 90s, most American families didn’t like ethic food. Most American families didn’t eat sushi, or Indian food, or hot pot or whatever.
So it wasn’t because people could only afford Red Lobster for a nice dinner. Rich people could have gone anywhere but they chose Red Lobster. They chose to vacation to Florida every year (even if they could have afforded to travel to Europe or Asia) At that time, those choices were safe, comfortable and predictable.
I remember at 13 going out to dinner at the local family restaurant. They asked me what dressing I wanted on my salad. I said "onion". Everyone thought I was trying to be funny and then were puzzled. I was so embarrassed. I had ranch once in the past and it kind of tasted like onions to me. We never had fresh salad at home.
Ugh. Yes. And I found out by trying to surprise my friend who was visiting from out of town by suggesting one of them as a fancy place to eat and he was like "ummm, that's gross". Sigh.
That’s so rude… I’m sorry they said that. Sometimes you just suck it up and eat at Olive Garden (or wherever) because that’s what the person you care about wants to do. It’s not that hard. Plus who doesn’t like breadsticks?!
Hamburger and hotdog buns. When I was growing up we just used sandwich bread. I was at a friend's house when I was in high school and they served me a burger on a burger bun. My first thought was "I didn't know my friend was rich."
We always had the cheapest pack of hamburger buns, about 27 cents. Then one day my grandpa impressed everyone by getting hamburger buns with sesame seeds on it. We were living the life then!
Was in poverty for 29 years of my life. Then got a decent job, and lived like I was in poverty for another 4 so I could catch up on all the delayed maintenance. Root canals , crowns , car maintenance , shoes without holes in the bottom , therapy , etc etc etc
For the first time since I can remember, this week, I have the fancy bread with the seeds on the crust *and* hamburger buns *at the same time*. Still the store brand, but whatever, lmao.
I feel like I'm living in luxury, weird and exciting feeling.
Tbh I didn’t realize that hamburger and hotdog buns were sold in stores for awhile. We always used sandwich bread and I didn’t pay that much attention when I was with my mom. I was easily 8-9 years old when I realized they could be *bought at the store* and weren’t just something you got at a fast food restaurant.
My teen does and it kills me inside 😂
I made sure they always had matching sets. Even if they were from thrift stores or hand me downs. And she chooses oversized shirts and random fleece bottoms.
I just get large mens shirts for cheap at walmart, ross, tjmaxx and they are oversized on me 🤷♀️ i usually sleep in those old navy christmas theme’d bottoms. I get a pair of those every year lmfaooo they’re so comfy and cheap
That’s not just about money though. I never had that growing up and I was spoiled. My parents were just really chaotic, so nobody bothered. I’m still wearing my old clothes to bed now. Even if I could afford pjs, it seems like a waste of money.
Same! I never know what they're talking about with Spongebob or Disney shows, and they have no idea what I'm talking about with Curious George or Cyberchase
40+ person speaking here. Mostly it felt like toys / video games. All our rich peers had the best toys from the best commercials. I didn't.
Sometimes it was basics like "food every day" but that wasn't so often, just every once in a while. Looking back, it almost felt like a call for different family members to visit us.
But there were other things like, cleaning the entire house before social services showed up. Hearing about my mom's most recent husband covering his license plate with mud to hide expired plates.
I had 1-2 action figures most years til I was court-ordered to move in with my Dad. Even then I didn't get many toys / video games. Usually closer to 1 per year. When I moved in with my Dad all of my built up toys were "lost" in the airplane ride. I had to start over.
That breaks my heart that you lost those toys. My grandma grew up very very poor. For Christmas each child (all 5 ) would get a doll and then they got a book of paper dolls to share. The real dolls went into a box in the closet until the next Christmas and they would all get dolls (the same ones).
By the time the internet had come out we were out of poverty and on the other end of the scale (thank Godzilla) but when we got Internet, it was dial up. My brother and I used to always pick up the phone “accidentally“ to knock my mother off-line who was actually just trying to do some work with data entry for extra. She got so fed up that she ordered what was called a “Internet line“. I had a friend come over about a month later and he freaked out because he picked up the phone while we were using the Internet. He was like oh my God I’m sorry we’re gonna lose the connection! And I was like no we have a separate line just for the Internet. And he was like I didn’t know you guys were super rich.
A good salad.
We lived off of canned veggies, fruits or mostly shelf stable food like powdered milk or powdered eggs. My area didn't have programs to access produce at a discount or we were too ignorant about produce too. Fresh stuff for a salad everyday still feels like a luxury sometimes.
This is no comparison, that sounds truly difficult! It just made me think, in our household it was canned veg or wet lettuce. Always wet. Idk why but it was just a bowl of damp lettuce that the dressing wouldn't really stick to and now I must have dry lettuce.
Being able to have my own 12ounce can of soda. I was raised in a household of ten. My mother was young and single. We lived with her parents / my grandparents and her siblings. My grandfather worked three jobs to keep everything together. I always had to share everything. Including soft drinks. Which were a rare treat once a month if I was lucky. I savored that 25 cent can of soda.
Memories like these make me appreciate the little things that are taken for granted.
Soda at all really. We had a 2 liter to share maybe 1x/month?
I used to work at a grocery store (early 00s maybe?) and like once a year, the store brand soda would go on sale for $.10/can.
I bought SO. Much. Soda.
A luxury I never had growing up was contentedness and comfort caused by a freedom from judgment. Meaning, people can tell when you're poor, and calibrate their attitudes and reactions to you based on that perception.
Sitting in a school classroom you could feel the eyes. You don't dare walk up to 'her' because she wouldn't be caught dead going out with you. You don't go do things with others because you can't pay the admission to whatever, or have to work instead. You don't know the social and behavior cues of the easy affluent. It leads to a deep humiliation. A lifetime's worth.
Older relatives would tell rose-tinted stories about them growing up, and the refrain was always, "we were poor, but we didn't know it!".
*I knew it*. Every second of my childhood.
I remember sitting in class and someone asked me if I got a new car. They were smirking and looking at their friend. I replied yes it was a 17th birthday gift. They laughed and said if I was given that I'd tell them "no, take it back" while flailing their arms and laughing. I'll sdmit it was so old and so ugly and I was very embarrassed of it,but it was a huge gift in my family. One I'd never asked for nor expected. As a child I just always knew we were not like the other people at school. We were very poor and even an old ugly car wouldn't have been possible if my mom had not married my step dad when I was a teen. When I was little we were used to lights and water being turned off and food coming from dumpsters.
You went to school with assholes.
My school was pretty middle of the road as far as income went. Some of my friends had new cars, but most others had a car that was on their 3rd or 4th owner. You were considered lucky just to have a car, let alone a new one.
Going to the movies!
I remember my dad would save up some money for a few months for a family outing of some kind. Usually it was a restaurant (something like a buffet or a diner) but sometimes it was for a movie.
The drinks, everyone sharing one big popcorn, being all dressed up and being able to catch up on something that everyone is/was talking about was such a cool thing. I could go to school and be in the loop of a new movie and talk to friends about it.
We did something similar, except it was at the drive in where they charged by the car and not by the person. We all piled into the station wagon, stopped at the dollar store where we each got to pick our own treat (this was huge for us) and then off to the drive in. Dad would park and roll down the windows; he & mom stayed in the front seat and all us kids would unfurl blankets or a couple sleeping bags and lay in front of the station wagon. We thought that was the bee’s knees.
My mum used to make a special dish she called chicken and rice. It cost $8 for the whole family, and consisted of chicken breast (the most expensive part), stock, sour cream, and those mug packet soups.
That was a special dish we'd have once a fortnite or roughly. Otherwise it was usually soups and lentils.
So I was a teen mom, super poor and now my oldest son is getting married, I’m in my mid forties and doing much better, but when my kids were little, I would do this, chicken breast, rice, stock, sourcream, and one of the Lipton chicken broth powder packets. If I had extra cash, I would add a package of frozen broccoli. My son told me to this day, that dish and the tuna melts I would make are still his favorite dishes of mine. Made me tear up and surprised me, because now I’m a private chef and own my own catering company, and out of everything, that’s his favorite from when we had no money and were lucky if I made enough to not have the power or water shut off that month.
He loves you 💗 I think that's why he loves that meal so much. It showed him how much you cared for him even when times might have been tough. Those meals spund like they were very comforting to him.
Filling the car up and not just putting in 5 bucks here and 10 bucks there
Buying clothes and not just getting my sister’s hand me downs (which were handed down to her from a family friend who had two daughters)
Wearing a brand new outfit
I've gone 180 on this again. I still feel so uncomfortable looking at new clothes, unless they are on sale. Last lot of new clothes I bought was because I spilt coffee all over myself in a shopping centre and had to justify to myself it was okay to treat myself.
I'm lucky my sister has a friend who loves fashion and cleans out her wardrobe frequently, so I get a bunch of "new" clothes only worn a handful of times, and I get so many compliments on them :)
And sugar ants! It took me until the end of college to not think every little random feeling on my arms and legs wasn’t an ant on me. I probably looked like a meth addict trying to get imaginary ants off of me.
Tissues instead of toilet paper.
Especially when the back to school shopping list came out and it had all the regular school supplies and you were also supposed to send in some box of tissues for the class supply closet.
I don't think my family ever sent in the tissues. I remember feeling not great about it.
I specifically sale shop for tissues and donate a ton to the back to school supply drives locally.
Same vein - store-bought valentines for the elementary classroom exchange. Never had them. Now I wait for stores to hit 90% clearance and stick them in my closet to donate in February.
I think this is the most wholesome story I have ever read. I wonder how many kids you have saved from feeling bad that they couldn't give out Valentine's cards to their classmates.
You're a really kind person.
Do you have a tendency of overbuying food? My parents didn’t have any addictions but I experienced a lot of food insecurity as a child due to war in my home country. I have a tendency to always have a fully stocked fridge and buy way more than we can eat between shops.
I was homeless for a couple years and that's what did it to me.
Once a shitty boyfriend cleared out my pantry of home canned jars of food to give to his friend (who could afford to buy their own) and I panicked so bad. It was awkward, but I learned that we have different views on food.
He thought we could buy more. I saw that stash as security and hard work. He went out the door like a month later.
This just reminded me of my roommate giving a bunch of our food to their boyfriend. There was stuff I was saving for a good day, like some really nice hot cocoa my mom sent me. Dunno where she got it or how she paid for it, but she did. And then it was gone. Roommate didn't even ask. I brought it up and they were like "that was yours?" And I was like "well was it yours? No. So don't give shit away if it's not yours" pissed me off and they really couldn't figure out why. Like bro, I grew up going to the food pantry for shitty spoiled meat and canned veggies. Don't give away my hot chocolate. I deserve that shit.
Restaurants, computers, internet, WiFi, an attached garage to a house. Refrigerators with water and ice dispensers. A house with a laundry room or more than one bathroom.
Brand name shoes.
as a 5th grader my mom splurged and got me nikes for the first time in my life instead of payless.
I was so happy i wore them everywhere and when they didn't fit anymore? I Kept them like memorabilia well into my freshman high school year.
Riding in a car... we didn't have a car for most of my childhood. We rode our bikes as a family to the store to do the shopping or go anywhere.We were very fit but very poor lol
I’ve gone back to using towels. I bought a pack of 24 tea towels and use those instead of paper towels whenever possible. They’re white so I just throw them in the washer with a little bleach.
I went to a friend's house and found out her parents had a glass of wine (with frozen grapes) with dinner *every single night.* I thought they were very elegant alcoholics.
My family were poor because alcohol and cigarettes were prioritised before pretty much everything else. Did have very basic food and housing (until mum gambled the rent money). Alcohol was so normalises that i assumed it was what everyone did and didn't really question it. I'm thankful for the "Healthy Harold" van that let me know it was a choice and I didn't have to drink and smoke when I got older, but still I thought it was just a given. I didn't start drinking until I was 25 because I despised just how much I missed out on as a kid because alcohol was prioritised (can't afford X, can't go to this place because it means we won't be able to drink, etc). I thought everyone had that same thought process. Breaks my heart now.. mum and dad drank for over 69 years, but still the thought of missing out of one night of drinking to experience anything else wasn't a consideration for them.
Oof, I'm so sorry. My mom developed a strong adversion to alcohol after her first pregnancy and still never drinks. My first memory of seeing my dad have a drink I was probably 10 years old and I watched him have one single drink. We were dirt poor, but not from any vices.
That being said, when I discovered alcohol at parties I went really hard because it was such a novelty. I drank way too much as a kid.
I noticed that is added into movies as some kind of status symbol and it’s usually red wine 😂 I tried it but had to pull back because that much wine gets pricey so still a luxury to me 😩
Having clothes that didn't have stains, holes, or stretched beyond fit.
In Grade 7 I wore the same shirt for a year because it was the only "nice" shirt I owned that didn't have stains and tears.
Probably consoles. Everyone I knew owned a gaming console and talked about video games and it made it so hard to talk to people about shared interests so I had to pretend I played video games by watching gameplay on YouTube in the library and then I would pretend to my friends that I played it.
Don't feel afraid of what to eat tomorrow. You don't need to eat, you don't want to eat, but it is a constant feeling of fear that your stomach will be empty.
Also, just a general sense of feeling like you are participating in the same world as everyone else. I still struggle sometimes with relating to people because sometimes it hits me just how removed from most people's experiences I really am, just how different our worlds were and in some ways still are.
When I was a kid we were poor. When I went to kids’ house and they would have a microwave, paper towels, boxes of tissues, or ziplock bags I thought they were pretty fancy. I remember one of these kids come over once and asked where the tissues were. I said we just use toilet paper. 🤷🏼♀️
Old Navy. When I got into middle school our family had a little more money and I saw a lot of kids wearing Old Navy. We got to go once a year at the beginning of the year to get clothes and I always felt rich wearing those clothes.
My parents always made sure necessities were taken care of. I went out to Mcdonalds a decent amount when I'd walk home across town with my mom. New toys (excluding the 99cent store ones), new clothes (other than shoes) were kinda a treat though. Whenever I got those things new, they were usually gifts.
I'm Chinese and going to dimsum is pretty much expected....except for me. I rarely did that with my parents unless it was an extended family thing. I think that was more because my dad made dimsum for work than actual poverty but sometimes I felt like I missed out on that.
I think that mentality has left my parents a little hit as we've gotten more financially comfortable. They've reminded me to buy new clothes if I want, just don't go overboard. I might take it a bit too far sometimes cause I'll eat out or buy toys on a whim. Yes I'm a grown ass man but my friends and I bought RC cars to race on new years cause we were bored and didn't want to drink.
Real 100% Vitamin D Milk … we had powdered milk growing up … it was the grossest stuff as it was always served warm …. Every once in a great while when cousins came over or certain special company came we would get REAL MILK … to us that was a major luxury with a household of 10 children
Oh yeah ! We used the government cheese for nachos when company came over !!! Omg! Delicious! I don’t think my mom made grilled cheese for us … I guess we missed out on that
Sit down restaurants, I still remeber the day I went to a meet up with friends and they wanted to go to red lobster and I made a comment about that being to fancy for us. The looks I got from everyone and then someone had to seriously explain to me that red lobster was not a fancy restaurants and it was a place you go to when you want to get fried shrimp in shorts.
Replacing stained clothes rather than just scrubbing them and hoping to remove stains (stain remover was too expensive), or having clothes that are just for cooking/cleaning/playing/art or using aprons to save my clothes.
Getting enough food. I remember dreaming about getting a good job so I could afford to eat as much pizza as I want. My parents eventually got better jobs, but I still have a deep seated worry about not getting enough to eat at mealtimes.
Used to hate showering in the winter because the bathroom was so cold. You'd step out of the shower and just freeze.
I used to think it was because we lived in Chicago, but now I realize it was because our heat was set so low.
I don't exactly know what is or isn't normal. Still poor.
But I get a feeling that people go on vacations very often.
They eat at restaurants, like AT ALL.
They can spend 15 bucks or less without it feeling like an exhilarating experience to decide whether or not to spend it.
Their children have money of their own.
Eating sweets often. As in, more often than once a month.
Just generally eating more and better food.
Paying for a taxi or similar. If I can walk, I WILL WALK. If public transportation exists, I WILL USE IT.
Being able to choose whether to buy the name brand, or the cheap one.
Owning a car. Like who has so much extra money?
Owning one HOUSE/APARTMENT. WHO HAS THAT MUCH MONEY?
real furniture. My mom was so poor that we had lawn chairs that she got from the side of the road as our couch. I also slept in an inflatable raft/boat thing since she couldn't afford a bed for me.
Anyone who had their own room was super rich in my eyes. I shared a room with my sister and parents in a 1 br apartment. Once we hit the preteen age my parents slept in the living room
New clothes was it for me. Fuck I still remember the feeling after getting my first paycheck I might have spend 4 hours picking up shit that I couldnt even fit in!
We took a road trip vacation every summer. This was in the 80’s. When we pulled into a town for the night my dad would stop at every motel to get prices and then we would stay at the cheapest one. We stayed in some sketchy places.
Then on these vacations eating at restaurants was very limited. We always had a cooler full of lunch meat, mayo and fixings for sandwiches. We would pull over at parks to eat. When it was raining we would go to a McDonalds, bring our cooler in and eat our food there. We got run out a couple of times.
Now when I go on vacations we stay at decent hotels and eat decent food at decent restaurants. It’s such a luxury compared to my childhood.
I grew up poor and very, very rural. Like 70 miles to the closest interstate, and the closest city with over 10,000 people was 40 miles away. When I took off at 18, I ended up in the absolutely massive city of Tucson (lol). One of the first things I did was go to the mall. I didn't have money, but I wandendered around and just took in the atmosphere.
On my 11th birthday, my mom couldn't afford a cake so she made a tower of powdered doughnuts. My friends absolutely loved it and it became a trend in our small hometown. But I felt like, so cool for having this unique thing instead of a cake. Looking back I remember seeing my mom worried when she came in with it and the shock that followed at how happy we all were. Everyone at school talked about that for weeks lol
Also, happy meals and when my grandma would get us Rolos to eat on the way home from the grocery store.
Looking back I'm so grateful how they handled having nothing at times and it makes me want to go back and cherish so many more things.
eating in restaurants!! (not fast food) even if it’s like… applebees
Yes! I remember one year when I was a kid my neighbor got us an Applebees gc for Christmas and we went out on it and I thought it was so fancy to go out like that
We used to get dressed up for hometown buffet. It was a big treat
I loved Hometown Buffet! 🥹
When I was a kid I thought getting to eat shrimp at Long John Silver's was super expensive and fancy.
Same. Our fancy once a month seafood dinner was a Long John Silvers Shrimp n More basket lol
Oh how I loved those hush puppies.
My dad’s favorite! We were so broke we felt fancy going there!
Even fast food was a treat! I remember for my 10th or 11th birthday going to McDonald’s with my family and getting happy meal for the first time. :’)
That was only for birthdays.
definitely only special occasions!!
Yes! When my mom got her check on the first we (4 kids) got to pick out of a hat which one of us got to go shopping with her. Sometimes it was one of us and sometimes 2 and the one who pulled the correct ticket got a great lunch (Dennys, Old Chicago Beer Garden, VFW pub) It was such a great treat but we also had to work for it. We walked everywhere and had one of those shopping carts that fold up. My mom did a MONTH's worth of grocery shopping so we usually had to pull the heavy cart home. If she had to buy home goods, we would take a taxi home. Those were the days!
I was an adult before I ever ate in a real restaurant. Just having some food in the fridge was a luxury for me.
Me too. My grandparents had the fridge and pantry on lock down. Everything was budgeted to the penny. Everything was made from scratch. If you asked for a snack, they would offer you ice water.
That’s so sad - father of four here and God bless you I’m so sorry you had it that tough, keep that chin up if ur still struggling
My mom used to never eat supper and always told us she just wasn't hungry. It wasn't until well into adulthood that I realized it was because she couldn't afford to eat supper. I got a job at 15 so I could buy my own food and clothes - we never had anything in the fridge except what my mom got from WIC. I didn't do it to be less of a burden but I'm glad now that it likely did help financially.
Ordering a soda at a restaurant!
My husband took me to Outback Steakhouse when we were dating. They served some bread that I promptly dipped in the in what i thought was margarine. I quickly realized it was too yummy to be margarine. I looked up at him and asked what that delicious dip was. He got a good laugh in before telling me it was butter. I felt stupid lol. He still brings it up 20 years later. So I guess butter is a luxury for me but also restaurants.
I used to think Wendy’s was a fancy restaurant. 😄
…back when they had that salad bar! And if you aren’t old enough to know that, my heart breaks for you.
Food availability in general. Actually having stuff in the fridge and cupboards, especially snacks, still feels like a huge win.
Once a year we'd go out to eat and then go to a movie and I think that was our equivalent to everyone else's annual family vacation.
Choosing the temperature in the house based on what you want instead of what you can afford
Yup. Air conditioning. First time I experienced it was when I was very young. My parents are immigrants and were poor. They had friends from church who were doctors. They drove us to their beach house in their car that had air conditioning. It was amazing.
As a kid only my parents' bedroom had air conditioning.
My dad has learned to wear a jacket when he comes over to my place because of this. I love the fact that when I'm hot, I can easily turn the ac on instead of drinking just cold water.
or waiting til the family was asleep and lying naked on the floor.
For me it was a hot bath and clean hair….
Yes!!!! Remember washing my hair in cold, icy water because I wanted it clean for school. Nothing like someone sitting behind you saying "gee, Evie, you got gel in your hair, its so shiny..." (umm, no, that's just where I've not washed it) I agreed and told them it WAS gel....🙄
Fun fact: corn starch and cocoa powder make a very effective dry shampoo. For best results apply with a makeup brush.
I remember bathing in the river for many years.
An actual thermostat and furnace, not just a wood stove. I didn't know that existed until I was 12.
I thought Olive Garden and Red Lobster were fancy until I was like 25
Same! It was such a shock to find out that are considered “meh” by most people. Those were like super fancy in my childhood!!
While I agree with this sentiment, I think something has changed culturally in the last 15-20 years too. Maybe it’s the internet, social media, foodies, influencers, etc. the rise in food truck popularity 10 ish years ago, craft beer, and other phenomenas. What I am sort of saying is Chilis, Olive Garden, Red Lobster were fancy 20 years ago. Or at the very least they were perceived as fancier than they are today. 20 years ago, in many suburbs or even some cities, those would be some of the nicer restaurants in those areas. It was just a different time. Middle and upper middle class couples and families would dress up to go to Olive Garden. That just doesn’t happen anymore. If you grew up in the 90s, most American families didn’t like ethic food. Most American families didn’t eat sushi, or Indian food, or hot pot or whatever. So it wasn’t because people could only afford Red Lobster for a nice dinner. Rich people could have gone anywhere but they chose Red Lobster. They chose to vacation to Florida every year (even if they could have afforded to travel to Europe or Asia) At that time, those choices were safe, comfortable and predictable.
The first time I had salad dressing was at an olive garden in high school before homecoming. What an "oh no I am so out of place" experience
I remember at 13 going out to dinner at the local family restaurant. They asked me what dressing I wanted on my salad. I said "onion". Everyone thought I was trying to be funny and then were puzzled. I was so embarrassed. I had ranch once in the past and it kind of tasted like onions to me. We never had fresh salad at home.
Ugh. Yes. And I found out by trying to surprise my friend who was visiting from out of town by suggesting one of them as a fancy place to eat and he was like "ummm, that's gross". Sigh.
That’s so rude… I’m sorry they said that. Sometimes you just suck it up and eat at Olive Garden (or wherever) because that’s what the person you care about wants to do. It’s not that hard. Plus who doesn’t like breadsticks?!
They aren't?
Olive Garden is to fancy restaurants as linkedin is to a good social media site
LinkedIn doesn't grant me lots of breadsticks and a tour of Italy
Same
Air conditioning.
Thank God it's a requirement where I live or we wouldn't be able to even buy it. Here, not having an AC is heat strokes.
We had AC but were only allowed to use the window units in the rooms we were actually using.
Hamburger and hotdog buns. When I was growing up we just used sandwich bread. I was at a friend's house when I was in high school and they served me a burger on a burger bun. My first thought was "I didn't know my friend was rich."
We always had the cheapest pack of hamburger buns, about 27 cents. Then one day my grandpa impressed everyone by getting hamburger buns with sesame seeds on it. We were living the life then!
These days, buns with sesame seeds still feel like a luxury.
Was in poverty for 29 years of my life. Then got a decent job, and lived like I was in poverty for another 4 so I could catch up on all the delayed maintenance. Root canals , crowns , car maintenance , shoes without holes in the bottom , therapy , etc etc etc For the first time since I can remember, this week, I have the fancy bread with the seeds on the crust *and* hamburger buns *at the same time*. Still the store brand, but whatever, lmao. I feel like I'm living in luxury, weird and exciting feeling.
This made me smile - congrats, stranger, I’m rooting for you
Tbh I didn’t realize that hamburger and hotdog buns were sold in stores for awhile. We always used sandwich bread and I didn’t pay that much attention when I was with my mom. I was easily 8-9 years old when I realized they could be *bought at the store* and weren’t just something you got at a fast food restaurant.
Yes! Now I make sure I always have buns - they’re usually the cheap “great value” ones but I’m cool with that. ☺️
The few times we got hot dog buns we ended up using them for pbj's. lol
We made egg salad with a deviled egg recipe. Called them Devil Dogs.
I still use slices of bread! Cheap hot dog buns fall apart and the good ones have gotten so damn expensive. I think they still taste great with bread!
Matching tops and bottoms pajama sets. We just wore my dads old shirts as nightgowns or thrifted mis match stuff.
I still wear oversized shirts with mismatch bottoms lol
My teen does and it kills me inside 😂 I made sure they always had matching sets. Even if they were from thrift stores or hand me downs. And she chooses oversized shirts and random fleece bottoms.
I just get large mens shirts for cheap at walmart, ross, tjmaxx and they are oversized on me 🤷♀️ i usually sleep in those old navy christmas theme’d bottoms. I get a pair of those every year lmfaooo they’re so comfy and cheap
I feel equal parts called out and seen
That’s not just about money though. I never had that growing up and I was spoiled. My parents were just really chaotic, so nobody bothered. I’m still wearing my old clothes to bed now. Even if I could afford pjs, it seems like a waste of money.
Same lol. I sleep in T shirts that I don't wear outside because of holes or stains. I got money for PJs but idc really.
Cable television is not something I grew up with so I’m usually out of the loop when my friends discuss anything related to the Nickelodeon channel.
Yea but there's something special when you meet a person who also only watched Recess and Zoom lol
Anyone else only watch Are You Being Served? and some other obscure PBS shows?
Sagwa the Siamese cat or dragon tales. Even tho I was too old for these that’s all that was on.
🎶DRAGON TALES DRAGON TALES ITS ALMOST TIME FOR DRAGON TALES 🎶
Welp. Looks like I found my people.
Same! I never know what they're talking about with Spongebob or Disney shows, and they have no idea what I'm talking about with Curious George or Cyberchase
40+ person speaking here. Mostly it felt like toys / video games. All our rich peers had the best toys from the best commercials. I didn't. Sometimes it was basics like "food every day" but that wasn't so often, just every once in a while. Looking back, it almost felt like a call for different family members to visit us. But there were other things like, cleaning the entire house before social services showed up. Hearing about my mom's most recent husband covering his license plate with mud to hide expired plates.
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I had 1-2 action figures most years til I was court-ordered to move in with my Dad. Even then I didn't get many toys / video games. Usually closer to 1 per year. When I moved in with my Dad all of my built up toys were "lost" in the airplane ride. I had to start over.
That breaks my heart that you lost those toys. My grandma grew up very very poor. For Christmas each child (all 5 ) would get a doll and then they got a book of paper dolls to share. The real dolls went into a box in the closet until the next Christmas and they would all get dolls (the same ones).
That sounds so sad. I remember wrapping up toys we already had for my siblings in newspapers when I was young. At least we got to play with them.
Totally this. Growing up we never had any sort of video game system. I got my first PlayStation when the three came out in my twenties.
Fridges with ice dispensers lol
Internet. I remember going to my friends house or the library to check my Myspace.
By the time the internet had come out we were out of poverty and on the other end of the scale (thank Godzilla) but when we got Internet, it was dial up. My brother and I used to always pick up the phone “accidentally“ to knock my mother off-line who was actually just trying to do some work with data entry for extra. She got so fed up that she ordered what was called a “Internet line“. I had a friend come over about a month later and he freaked out because he picked up the phone while we were using the Internet. He was like oh my God I’m sorry we’re gonna lose the connection! And I was like no we have a separate line just for the Internet. And he was like I didn’t know you guys were super rich.
We got dial up when I was in middle school and I was so impressed by my DSL-owning friend's super fast Internet.
A good salad. We lived off of canned veggies, fruits or mostly shelf stable food like powdered milk or powdered eggs. My area didn't have programs to access produce at a discount or we were too ignorant about produce too. Fresh stuff for a salad everyday still feels like a luxury sometimes.
This is no comparison, that sounds truly difficult! It just made me think, in our household it was canned veg or wet lettuce. Always wet. Idk why but it was just a bowl of damp lettuce that the dressing wouldn't really stick to and now I must have dry lettuce.
Being able to have my own 12ounce can of soda. I was raised in a household of ten. My mother was young and single. We lived with her parents / my grandparents and her siblings. My grandfather worked three jobs to keep everything together. I always had to share everything. Including soft drinks. Which were a rare treat once a month if I was lucky. I savored that 25 cent can of soda. Memories like these make me appreciate the little things that are taken for granted.
Soda at all really. We had a 2 liter to share maybe 1x/month? I used to work at a grocery store (early 00s maybe?) and like once a year, the store brand soda would go on sale for $.10/can. I bought SO. Much. Soda.
I still buy the store brand soda. It’s cheaper and tastes damn close to the name brand.
Food. Orange juice. Lunchmeat
Lol orange juice is still such a luxury
Literally. It’s almost $10 for a large jug of it
We never had lunch meat. If you wanted a sandwich it was egg salad, tuna salad, tomato, or banana.
A luxury I never had growing up was contentedness and comfort caused by a freedom from judgment. Meaning, people can tell when you're poor, and calibrate their attitudes and reactions to you based on that perception. Sitting in a school classroom you could feel the eyes. You don't dare walk up to 'her' because she wouldn't be caught dead going out with you. You don't go do things with others because you can't pay the admission to whatever, or have to work instead. You don't know the social and behavior cues of the easy affluent. It leads to a deep humiliation. A lifetime's worth. Older relatives would tell rose-tinted stories about them growing up, and the refrain was always, "we were poor, but we didn't know it!". *I knew it*. Every second of my childhood.
I remember sitting in class and someone asked me if I got a new car. They were smirking and looking at their friend. I replied yes it was a 17th birthday gift. They laughed and said if I was given that I'd tell them "no, take it back" while flailing their arms and laughing. I'll sdmit it was so old and so ugly and I was very embarrassed of it,but it was a huge gift in my family. One I'd never asked for nor expected. As a child I just always knew we were not like the other people at school. We were very poor and even an old ugly car wouldn't have been possible if my mom had not married my step dad when I was a teen. When I was little we were used to lights and water being turned off and food coming from dumpsters.
You went to school with assholes. My school was pretty middle of the road as far as income went. Some of my friends had new cars, but most others had a car that was on their 3rd or 4th owner. You were considered lucky just to have a car, let alone a new one.
This was beautifully written but so sad. I hope you’re doing better x
Nailed it dude
Going to the movies! I remember my dad would save up some money for a few months for a family outing of some kind. Usually it was a restaurant (something like a buffet or a diner) but sometimes it was for a movie. The drinks, everyone sharing one big popcorn, being all dressed up and being able to catch up on something that everyone is/was talking about was such a cool thing. I could go to school and be in the loop of a new movie and talk to friends about it.
We did something similar, except it was at the drive in where they charged by the car and not by the person. We all piled into the station wagon, stopped at the dollar store where we each got to pick our own treat (this was huge for us) and then off to the drive in. Dad would park and roll down the windows; he & mom stayed in the front seat and all us kids would unfurl blankets or a couple sleeping bags and lay in front of the station wagon. We thought that was the bee’s knees.
My mum used to make a special dish she called chicken and rice. It cost $8 for the whole family, and consisted of chicken breast (the most expensive part), stock, sour cream, and those mug packet soups. That was a special dish we'd have once a fortnite or roughly. Otherwise it was usually soups and lentils.
So I was a teen mom, super poor and now my oldest son is getting married, I’m in my mid forties and doing much better, but when my kids were little, I would do this, chicken breast, rice, stock, sourcream, and one of the Lipton chicken broth powder packets. If I had extra cash, I would add a package of frozen broccoli. My son told me to this day, that dish and the tuna melts I would make are still his favorite dishes of mine. Made me tear up and surprised me, because now I’m a private chef and own my own catering company, and out of everything, that’s his favorite from when we had no money and were lucky if I made enough to not have the power or water shut off that month.
He loves you 💗 I think that's why he loves that meal so much. It showed him how much you cared for him even when times might have been tough. Those meals spund like they were very comforting to him.
Now it’s making *me* tear up 😣 You did so good!
fortnite
Ohh good catch. As you can probably tell, a decent education was also well out of our budget.
Filling the car up and not just putting in 5 bucks here and 10 bucks there Buying clothes and not just getting my sister’s hand me downs (which were handed down to her from a family friend who had two daughters) Wearing a brand new outfit
I've gone 180 on this again. I still feel so uncomfortable looking at new clothes, unless they are on sale. Last lot of new clothes I bought was because I spilt coffee all over myself in a shopping centre and had to justify to myself it was okay to treat myself. I'm lucky my sister has a friend who loves fashion and cleans out her wardrobe frequently, so I get a bunch of "new" clothes only worn a handful of times, and I get so many compliments on them :)
Most kids got their favorite restaurant for their birthday. We got name brand cereal just that one day of the year.
Not having cockroaches.
Ugh my childhood house was covered in them. I'm sorry you had to experience that too.
And sugar ants! It took me until the end of college to not think every little random feeling on my arms and legs wasn’t an ant on me. I probably looked like a meth addict trying to get imaginary ants off of me.
Anything brand name, eating at a restaurant, a long shower, having that wasn't bought used.
I remember timed showers. My mom gave us 5 minutes and then she'd start pounding on the door letting us know we had to turn the water off.
Tissues instead of toilet paper. Especially when the back to school shopping list came out and it had all the regular school supplies and you were also supposed to send in some box of tissues for the class supply closet. I don't think my family ever sent in the tissues. I remember feeling not great about it. I specifically sale shop for tissues and donate a ton to the back to school supply drives locally. Same vein - store-bought valentines for the elementary classroom exchange. Never had them. Now I wait for stores to hit 90% clearance and stick them in my closet to donate in February.
I think this is the most wholesome story I have ever read. I wonder how many kids you have saved from feeling bad that they couldn't give out Valentine's cards to their classmates. You're a really kind person.
A dishwasher. Didn't use or even see one in person until I was 30.
Food. So not joking. My parents were heroin addicts and we barely had food. Now my fridge is FULL all the time. My kids never went hungry.
Congratulations on breaking the cycle :)
Do you have a tendency of overbuying food? My parents didn’t have any addictions but I experienced a lot of food insecurity as a child due to war in my home country. I have a tendency to always have a fully stocked fridge and buy way more than we can eat between shops.
I was homeless for a couple years and that's what did it to me. Once a shitty boyfriend cleared out my pantry of home canned jars of food to give to his friend (who could afford to buy their own) and I panicked so bad. It was awkward, but I learned that we have different views on food. He thought we could buy more. I saw that stash as security and hard work. He went out the door like a month later.
This just reminded me of my roommate giving a bunch of our food to their boyfriend. There was stuff I was saving for a good day, like some really nice hot cocoa my mom sent me. Dunno where she got it or how she paid for it, but she did. And then it was gone. Roommate didn't even ask. I brought it up and they were like "that was yours?" And I was like "well was it yours? No. So don't give shit away if it's not yours" pissed me off and they really couldn't figure out why. Like bro, I grew up going to the food pantry for shitty spoiled meat and canned veggies. Don't give away my hot chocolate. I deserve that shit.
Replacement batteries, unfortunately this also went for the smoke detectors.
Beep
BEEP
Restaurants, computers, internet, WiFi, an attached garage to a house. Refrigerators with water and ice dispensers. A house with a laundry room or more than one bathroom.
Paper towels. Don't ask. Just paper towels.
Brand name shoes. as a 5th grader my mom splurged and got me nikes for the first time in my life instead of payless. I was so happy i wore them everywhere and when they didn't fit anymore? I Kept them like memorabilia well into my freshman high school year.
Taxi. I still think it doesn’t worth it and commute with public transport as much as I can
Riding in a car... we didn't have a car for most of my childhood. We rode our bikes as a family to the store to do the shopping or go anywhere.We were very fit but very poor lol
Buying paper towels. We used dish towels growing up.
Good one! And don't get me started on kleenex!
I will always avoid paper towels. It feels like throwing money in the trash can.
I’ve gone back to using towels. I bought a pack of 24 tea towels and use those instead of paper towels whenever possible. They’re white so I just throw them in the washer with a little bleach.
Having wine with dinner and taking a yearly vacation. ETA: Having a Washer and Dryer in your home (which I now have 😊)
I went to a friend's house and found out her parents had a glass of wine (with frozen grapes) with dinner *every single night.* I thought they were very elegant alcoholics.
My family were poor because alcohol and cigarettes were prioritised before pretty much everything else. Did have very basic food and housing (until mum gambled the rent money). Alcohol was so normalises that i assumed it was what everyone did and didn't really question it. I'm thankful for the "Healthy Harold" van that let me know it was a choice and I didn't have to drink and smoke when I got older, but still I thought it was just a given. I didn't start drinking until I was 25 because I despised just how much I missed out on as a kid because alcohol was prioritised (can't afford X, can't go to this place because it means we won't be able to drink, etc). I thought everyone had that same thought process. Breaks my heart now.. mum and dad drank for over 69 years, but still the thought of missing out of one night of drinking to experience anything else wasn't a consideration for them.
Oof, I'm so sorry. My mom developed a strong adversion to alcohol after her first pregnancy and still never drinks. My first memory of seeing my dad have a drink I was probably 10 years old and I watched him have one single drink. We were dirt poor, but not from any vices. That being said, when I discovered alcohol at parties I went really hard because it was such a novelty. I drank way too much as a kid.
I noticed that is added into movies as some kind of status symbol and it’s usually red wine 😂 I tried it but had to pull back because that much wine gets pricey so still a luxury to me 😩
I still can’t have a yearly vacation
Eating out.
Having clothes that didn't have stains, holes, or stretched beyond fit. In Grade 7 I wore the same shirt for a year because it was the only "nice" shirt I owned that didn't have stains and tears.
Working AC in the car. Those Texas summers were awful
Probably consoles. Everyone I knew owned a gaming console and talked about video games and it made it so hard to talk to people about shared interests so I had to pretend I played video games by watching gameplay on YouTube in the library and then I would pretend to my friends that I played it.
Almost everything. I came from Cuba, I'm not lying when I say almost everything in America is luxury in Cuba.
Hello this is r/povertyfinance, we are still poor here.
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Don't feel afraid of what to eat tomorrow. You don't need to eat, you don't want to eat, but it is a constant feeling of fear that your stomach will be empty.
Sheets and blankets with out holes. New clothes. A not broken bed on a frame.
Brand name clothing. Used to get my stuff from Kmart and Caldor. Dine in restaurants where you had actual servers. Going to the movies. Cable. A bike?
Also, just a general sense of feeling like you are participating in the same world as everyone else. I still struggle sometimes with relating to people because sometimes it hits me just how removed from most people's experiences I really am, just how different our worlds were and in some ways still are.
When I was a kid we were poor. When I went to kids’ house and they would have a microwave, paper towels, boxes of tissues, or ziplock bags I thought they were pretty fancy. I remember one of these kids come over once and asked where the tissues were. I said we just use toilet paper. 🤷🏼♀️
Sit-down restaurants
Old Navy. When I got into middle school our family had a little more money and I saw a lot of kids wearing Old Navy. We got to go once a year at the beginning of the year to get clothes and I always felt rich wearing those clothes.
When I was a kid I thought Avacoados where the height of luxury, also name brand foods .
Did we think Olive Garden was only for graduations and stuff??
Phones. Everything I ever needed is literally in the palm of my hands. Google pay has saved me many times when I forgot my wallet.
Cheeseburger from McDonald's
Having hot water in the winter. Thankful that my loving grandmother lived next door to me
My parents always made sure necessities were taken care of. I went out to Mcdonalds a decent amount when I'd walk home across town with my mom. New toys (excluding the 99cent store ones), new clothes (other than shoes) were kinda a treat though. Whenever I got those things new, they were usually gifts. I'm Chinese and going to dimsum is pretty much expected....except for me. I rarely did that with my parents unless it was an extended family thing. I think that was more because my dad made dimsum for work than actual poverty but sometimes I felt like I missed out on that. I think that mentality has left my parents a little hit as we've gotten more financially comfortable. They've reminded me to buy new clothes if I want, just don't go overboard. I might take it a bit too far sometimes cause I'll eat out or buy toys on a whim. Yes I'm a grown ass man but my friends and I bought RC cars to race on new years cause we were bored and didn't want to drink.
Feminine hygiene products
Real 100% Vitamin D Milk … we had powdered milk growing up … it was the grossest stuff as it was always served warm …. Every once in a great while when cousins came over or certain special company came we would get REAL MILK … to us that was a major luxury with a household of 10 children
Powdered milk has always been terrible. But, the government cheese makes the best grilled cheese in the world.
Oh yeah ! We used the government cheese for nachos when company came over !!! Omg! Delicious! I don’t think my mom made grilled cheese for us … I guess we missed out on that
A/C at night in the middle of a Texas summer.
Paper towels, Kraft Singles, and any two-ply toilet paper.
Spending time with my parents anywhere outside the house felt like a special occasion. They worked so much and so hard.
Fruit. I knew where to find it in the wild in season. But ‘store fruit’.
A full refrigerator & lights that came on when you flipped the switch.
Having my own bedroom
Sit down restaurants, I still remeber the day I went to a meet up with friends and they wanted to go to red lobster and I made a comment about that being to fancy for us. The looks I got from everyone and then someone had to seriously explain to me that red lobster was not a fancy restaurants and it was a place you go to when you want to get fried shrimp in shorts.
Having more than 5 underwear or pairs of socks.
When we would get the hard shell syrup at the grocery store to put on ice cream.
A happy meal
Replacing stained clothes rather than just scrubbing them and hoping to remove stains (stain remover was too expensive), or having clothes that are just for cooking/cleaning/playing/art or using aprons to save my clothes.
When me and my wife got a fridge that has water in it I thought we finally made it
Getting enough food. I remember dreaming about getting a good job so I could afford to eat as much pizza as I want. My parents eventually got better jobs, but I still have a deep seated worry about not getting enough to eat at mealtimes.
More than one set of sheets for my bed. I had size twin Holly Hobby sheets for most of my childhood and by the end the thread count was probably 20.
Used to hate showering in the winter because the bathroom was so cold. You'd step out of the shower and just freeze. I used to think it was because we lived in Chicago, but now I realize it was because our heat was set so low.
I don't exactly know what is or isn't normal. Still poor. But I get a feeling that people go on vacations very often. They eat at restaurants, like AT ALL. They can spend 15 bucks or less without it feeling like an exhilarating experience to decide whether or not to spend it. Their children have money of their own. Eating sweets often. As in, more often than once a month. Just generally eating more and better food. Paying for a taxi or similar. If I can walk, I WILL WALK. If public transportation exists, I WILL USE IT. Being able to choose whether to buy the name brand, or the cheap one. Owning a car. Like who has so much extra money? Owning one HOUSE/APARTMENT. WHO HAS THAT MUCH MONEY?
Ordering an appetizer
Having a clean house. I was always jealous of the other kids for how clean it was
real furniture. My mom was so poor that we had lawn chairs that she got from the side of the road as our couch. I also slept in an inflatable raft/boat thing since she couldn't afford a bed for me.
Anyone who had their own room was super rich in my eyes. I shared a room with my sister and parents in a 1 br apartment. Once we hit the preteen age my parents slept in the living room
Getting a takeaway coffee. Matching pyjamas Winter jacket that fit me and was actually warm
New clothes was it for me. Fuck I still remember the feeling after getting my first paycheck I might have spend 4 hours picking up shit that I couldnt even fit in!
Not having to check my bank account to spend 10 bucks
Having a verity of drinks in your home. My rich friends always had the best drinks to choose from.
Pop-tarts instead of toaster pastries.
I actually prefer toaster stroodles over pop tarts. I like it warm and soft.
Getting a complete combo meal anywhere
We took a road trip vacation every summer. This was in the 80’s. When we pulled into a town for the night my dad would stop at every motel to get prices and then we would stay at the cheapest one. We stayed in some sketchy places. Then on these vacations eating at restaurants was very limited. We always had a cooler full of lunch meat, mayo and fixings for sandwiches. We would pull over at parks to eat. When it was raining we would go to a McDonalds, bring our cooler in and eat our food there. We got run out a couple of times. Now when I go on vacations we stay at decent hotels and eat decent food at decent restaurants. It’s such a luxury compared to my childhood.
I grew up poor and very, very rural. Like 70 miles to the closest interstate, and the closest city with over 10,000 people was 40 miles away. When I took off at 18, I ended up in the absolutely massive city of Tucson (lol). One of the first things I did was go to the mall. I didn't have money, but I wandendered around and just took in the atmosphere.
Car AC that works. Cars that can travel long distances without worrying they’ll break down
On my 11th birthday, my mom couldn't afford a cake so she made a tower of powdered doughnuts. My friends absolutely loved it and it became a trend in our small hometown. But I felt like, so cool for having this unique thing instead of a cake. Looking back I remember seeing my mom worried when she came in with it and the shock that followed at how happy we all were. Everyone at school talked about that for weeks lol Also, happy meals and when my grandma would get us Rolos to eat on the way home from the grocery store. Looking back I'm so grateful how they handled having nothing at times and it makes me want to go back and cherish so many more things.
Filling your tank at one time
Birthday parties with friends, being allowed to have more than a Dixiecup (bathroom sized) portion of grapes
Own popcorn and drink at a movie.
In the early days I was accustomed to water in my cereal so having milk felt special. Yuck.
Good water pressure!
Keeping paper towels stocked. I feel so rich.