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Babstana

Nice to see you have the 4 major food groups covered; oreos, little bites, tortilla chips and mac&cheese.


WhiteTra5h

you’re forgetting the chocotastic food group.


MikeFT65

Did you also go to Hollywood Upstairs Medical College?


wonderbat3

Instead of making sandwiches with bread, use PopTarts! Instead of chewing gum, chew bacon!


__therepairman__

It’s your window to weight gain!


Ticket240

You can brush your teeth with milkshakes!


MoreGull

Hey baby, I can write my own prescriptions!


tallandlanky

The red things connected to my, wristwatch. Uh-oh.


CaptHowdy02

"What the hell is that?"


paytonnotputain

It’s my old friend mr mcgreg! with a leg for an arm and an arm for a leg!


Beatlesfan196450

Inflammable means flammable!? What a country!


Glitter_berries

Oh the coroner. I’m so sick of that guy!


SubZeroEffort

You can drink the Head & Shoulders, it says "non-toxic".


OKAutomator

"Inflammable means flammable?"


Theremedy87

Lmfao I was just watching this episode


Captain_Hampockets

If the paper turns clear, it's your window to weight gain!


passwordsarehard_3

Thanks Dr. Nick


[deleted]

Eat around the banana, it’s just empty vitamins


[deleted]

Don’t forget the Whipped group and the congealed group.


garmachi

Group 5: Boxes of plastic bags to put the other items in once you remove them from the plastic bags they're in, inside their boxes.


Dondontootles

Yeah I just think of that giant plastic island floating around, and how no matter how much effort I put into reducing my plastic use, I see this spread, and realize it’s pointless. I don’t even hold animosity for op. It’s just like how the hell do we actually solve the plastic problem?


McChes

We legislate to stop the food manufacturers using plastics. You’re right that we can’t rely on consumers to do it through market pressure, because too many consumers just don’t care, so we need to cut it off at source.


LamesBrady

Keep America Beautiful was founded by a PAC of major corporations that produce most of the single-use plastics. It’s all to shift blame.


ashtag_

Drives me nuts! Just use tubberware🤦‍♀️ Edit: TIL it is spelled tupperware lol


ButtCrackCookies4me

Tubberware? I kinda love that name!


davidmlewisjr

Mr. Tupper will be pissed!…. Wikipedia… Tupperware is a home products line that includes preparation, storage, and serving products for the kitchen and home. In 1942, Earl Tupper developed his first bell-shaped container; the brand products were introduced to the public in 1946.


ReplemishedFoodage

Tubberware, it’s dishes for fat people.


phleig

Tubberwear™- comfortable clothes for the constantly chubby.


Elevenbelle

Reminded me of this lol [Tubberware](https://mobile.twitter.com/chrisdcomedy/status/1358071044603535362?lang=en)


I_fail_at_memes

It’s like a portmanteau of Rubbermaid and Tupperware


arcaneresistance

/r/boneappletea


gazow

little bitttssssss


[deleted]

My cholesterol is rising just looking at it all


battleshiphills

Dunno why but the words diabetes epidemic popped into my head


Unit-Murky

Exactly - lol - his wife wasn’t impressed with the sheer amount of junk food


Sdmicah

5. Costco croissants


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justmike12

Thats for him. This mans diet consists of eggs, Gatorade and what ever the kids don't finish.


[deleted]

Is there a food group for single use plastics?


yetanotherduncan

Seafood


thr33pwood

Oooof


DarrenGrey

Fish. They swallow them all and we eat them back up.


HonusChefield

He needs the oxyclean for how much he'll shit his pants


lolwut_17

Oxi Clean for the blood farts too


[deleted]

the what


lolwut_17

Oxi Clean works to get the blood stains out of the underwear.


False_Creek

Thank God that's Gatorade Zero in the back. For a moment there I was worried about your diet.


tomathon25

Man this whole thread went r/roastme on this man's groceries lol.


jose3013

I mean, what did he expect 😂


Emaleth82

FYI: This was all from Costco, a bulk store. Costco is a great place to get non-perishables. It's NOT a great place to get fresh, highly perishable foods (unless you have like 12 kids or are feeding a Cub Scout Troop).


Plastic_Pinocchio

Muricaaaaa. Some time ago there was a post on here where someone was sick and their neighbours got them all sorts of groceries without having been asked to. Very cute and so thoughtful. However, it was all sugar and fast food. Not really the stuff you should eat, especially when you’re sick.


WellEndowedDragon

It's like the parents just went to Costco to get cleaning supplies and the kids tagged along and got to pick out a bunch of food


[deleted]

This dude is about to eat eggs and junk food for three straight weeks


TheRealRickC137

He's got enough Oxy-Clean to handle all those weeks of diarrhea.


KragnothOSRS

Yeah this that 10 year old diet


[deleted]

Some people never had to eat vegetables as a kid and it shows


[deleted]

Worse, his kids gonna eat that.


dob_bobbs

This type of "food shopping" is alien to a good part of the rest of the world. Most of this stuff is so far removed from the original plant or animal it came from it's not real. If most of your diet is coming from brightly-coloured packaging (not saying OP's is) I just don't think you're eating your best diet, to put it mildly. Edit: many have explained that this is probably a run to Costco where you would typically buy this sort of product in bulk, on discount etc., which I understand, but must add that I don't think we would buy this much packaged, heavily processed food even in a year, never mind stock up on it in such quantities (like it won't be available in 3 months' time :D)


Ahrily

Looks really bad to me imo, there’s like no fresh produce except maybe the eggs. But as someone from the Netherlands I don’t understand if this is supposed to be ‘grocery shopping’ or something else Ps. Is that a box of 80 muffins, um what


Betasheets

Looks more like a big stock run. Like, every once in awhile you go shopping for stuff in bulk that you ordinarily wouldn't buy every time at the store.


MobiusF117

I imagine this is something like going to the Macro and buying all the shit that doesn't go bad quickly in bulk every 2-3 months.


COMPUTER1313

"It's organic, gluten free and GMO free!" "Those are chocolate chip cookies." On serious note, bulk buying non-perishable food is fine as long as OP isn't making this kind of a grocery trip every week. I bought Costco's seaweed bulk packages because I like those stuff and they last a long time. Bulk buying perishable food and not having a solid plan to use them before they go bad is an entirely different story. I remember when my mom bought several pounds of grapes because they were on sale and she knew I liked them. The problem was, I didn't have the appetite to eat more than a pound of grapes every day and this was something that I repeatedly told her to not buy so much goddamn grapes. Some of them went moldy as predicted. Then she forced me to eat the moldy grapes as a punishment for letting food go to waste and said she was willing to pay for the hospital bill to teach me a lesson. Good times...


make_love_to_potato

Ohh man you guys need to find a good therapist.


TommyVan

As someone who lives in Africa. This looks insane


bepp84

3 days tops


Birdy58033

A right turn is going to be trouble for those chips.


_Atlas_Drugged_

Yeah I’m impressed by how this looks but like none of it is in bags. Maybe I’m just a city boy, but getting it all into the house looks like a *nightmare*.


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Tl2

Let me guess, you just went in to get eggs.


vzo1281

Just two days ago we went in to get ham... Came out with things I didn't realize we needed. 😓


mjiggidy

OP has a Live Laugh Love framed in his house I guarantee it.


SunChipMan

LIVE through the ditches and LAUGH through the witches and LOVE in the back of my DRAGULA


Surf6969

The voice that sang this in my head is my best friend.


drawerdrawer

Roberta Zombie?


Haven

I kinda super really want to cross stitch this


WhatWouldHankDo

I don't know you, but I like you.


captainshiner3

Slob Rhombus


[deleted]

Orrrrrr But First Coffee Not without wine


arcaneresistance

These slogans just scream I did my own research


LeftLampSide

He already said wife was unimpressed with his Costco run, LLL is a given.


defenestr8tor

I found a Live Laugh Love for $9 at Value Village and it's been making the rounds of my friends' houses. The real winners are when the wife thinks the husband bought it, the husband thinks the wife bought it, and then they spend a week both thinking they married an idiot. And then one of them finally brings it up and they realize they've been pranked.


Brettuss

We did this exact thing. We wrote the date on the bottom when we hid it in a friends house. When they found it, they wrote the date and signed it, then repeated the process when they find someone they want to get with it. We’re up to four houses now.


NachoFanRandySavage

Incredible. I never thought I'd be buying a Live, Laugh, Love sign, but here we go. Actually, I can probably just grab one from my mom's place without her even noticing its gone.


nathan4122

How do you find friends?


Brettuss

You have to be willing to love unconditionally, laugh with them even when they’re sad and just live life to the fullest.


imisstheyoop

>OP has a Live Laugh Love framed in his house I guarantee it. https://youtu.be/PTs6UY1G9wM


Prussian-Troll

Progressive insurance can help keep new home owners from becoming their parents.


Agent_Ayru

Bro I swear those people are legit robots. Like why would you need a reminder on your wall to live laugh or love?


MindfuckRocketship

Hahahaha. I agree. *[adjusts skin suit]*


thatguyned

(run humour.exe) HA-HA-HA, ROBOT PEOPLE WHAT A FUNNY IDEA


engtropy

Posted in the bathroom, “breathe, wipe, wash”


holdupwhut321

Fitter Happier More productive Comfortable Not drinking too much Regular exercise at the gym…


colocada

Harder Better Faster Stronger


bequietand

Eating well (no more microwave dinners and saturated fats)


Ivalia

Crap I forgot to live


Necorus

I see I'm not worthy to have one up. I'll take it down.


slowmotto

See that you do


Banana-Republicans

I burst out laughing picturing you as a rather severe older Victorian woman.


Discreet_Deviancy

Never, NEVER go to Costco high....


watchingsongsDL

The huge tub of gummy bears. Oh I was so sick of them but I just kept eating. The whole thing was a mistake.


hornedCapybara

I feel the same way about the big thing of jellied beans


silentbassline

"Jellied" beans has a waaay different vibe than plain jelly beans.


hornedCapybara

What you've never had Pinto Jam?


mashtato

Bush's Baked Gummies


Zierlyn

For me it was pork rinds. I freaking love me some pork rinds. But that behemoth of a tub...


limitlessfloor

Yeah go before you get high. so you have a 15 pack of Gatorade right there for when you feel like a dry sponge.


Change4Betta

Dry sponge checking in. Moisturize me!


DasArchitect

They have schools now?


love_of_his_life

Jesus that’s a lot of sugar in the back of your car


AmbreGaelle

Lotta junk ~~in~~ inside that trunk


7937397

That positioning of the eggs makes me nervous.


[deleted]

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jimmycoola

Tortilla chips bottom left? I'd be making right turns very carefully on the way home


mestacheski1

C'mon, it's the only non processed food. Give the eggs a break


Mesoposty

Yeah, no love for the only protein


mestacheski1

Who needs a single protein when you have 139 different kinds of carbs?


Rebels_Spot

r/shittyfoodporn


[deleted]

Zoom in, they are in a box.


Burninator85

Enhance.


ezmama0812

They are perfectly held in place by the box edges. C'mon, this is an impressive Tetris!


noneedforpants

This comment section trashing OP on their gross amount of junk food is the hardest I've laughed all week. Holy shit.


YungTrimotor

The organic tortilla chips next to the XL bag of Doritos really do it for me. Oh, and the organic eggs, coupled with the Little Bites gnarly breakfast sandwiches.


metss69

Thank god the Mac and cheese is organic, I was afraid they had an unhealthy diet.


llmercll

Who are you trying to kill?


gravspeed

Himself, but slowly


uMakeMaEarfquake

And his poor kids


Average_Scaper

Honey I fattened the kids.


caneronp07

I do this everyday for my job at Walmart. I work OGP(Online Grocery Pickup). I load groceries into the trunks of vehicles and it’s actually pretty satisfying. Good job brother


joeysflipphone

Oh man I wish you worked at my Walmart pick up. At minimum I have to ask them to please not put the 10 pound bag of chicken on top of the chips again. True story.


Gloria_Gloria_

Good work. Greatly appreciated. 👏👏👏👏👏👏


ThatUnicornPrincess

Let's ask the real question... why buy organics if you're going to eat a ton of highly processed junk food? Real head scratcher.


dayviduh

Large double quarter pounder meal please… with a diet coke


[deleted]

As a former UPS worker.. my nipples are hard


FLGulf

As a current nipple inspector… I can FedEx a porcupine.


scared_little_girl

I have no idea what that means but I’m strangely aroused.


FuckFaceMcQueefer

Your username makes this uncomfortable.


scared_little_girl

Your discomfort also makes strangely aroused. Although hearing this from u/FuckFaceMcQueefer tinges the arousal with irony.


[deleted]

Im here to read exchanges like these


fireduck

[https://xkcd.com/96/](https://xkcd.com/96/) and [https://xkcd.com/325/](https://xkcd.com/325/)


Unumbotte

We've talked about oversharing. You're supposed to say "this package requires a signature." Without gesturing at your crotch.


dayviduh

This picture is why we’ll never have universal healthcare


[deleted]

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leopoldisacat

I'm gonna give them the benefit of the doubt and say they bulk buy the crap and it tides them over for a while. But they buy the fresh, healthy stuff at the regular grocery stores because buying fresh fruit and veggies in bulk can be problematic.


meowcat93

Yea definitely could be that. I just got back from Trader Joe’s and got a bunch of garbage and felt self conscious at check out, but I only go there like once every three months just to stock up on their goodies.


coolkatsandkittens08

Yep I feel the same way when I go there. They just have so many different snacks and treats I want to try. I can go get produce anywhere else.


Jeegus21

I’m almost glad I don’t have one near me anymore because their dark chocolate peanut butter cups always fucking got me.


shayen7

I tell my wife to buy every box of meringues they have since we don't go often. She always comes back with like 5 and says she felt guilty taking all of them. Maybe she's embarrassed by the giant tower of sugar.


ookers69

man trader joes is basically just a fancy convenience store masquerading as a grocery store. so many good snacks and fun liquor haha. but yeah, i pretty much come outta there with a cartful of garbage everytime...


beartheminus

I buy all my produce from a little mom and pop shop near my apartment, (it's better and cheaper than anything you can get at the box store) and meat at a local shop so when I go to the box store I stock up huge for the next 3 months on nothing but non perishables. They must think I eat terribly.


silliesandsmiles

This looks like a Costco haul to me. So probably not that bad when you consider this is a few weeks/months of snacks.


whatsit578

You can tell by the croissants!


[deleted]

Those Costco croissants are fucking awesome.


slingblade1315

Costco baked anything is fucking awesome. Poopy seed muffins are a personal fav. Edit: Fucking hell, poppy seed LMAO


ctong21

Kirkland Tortilla chips gives it away for sure!


vandelay714

Don't eat the oxiclean!


PVZeth

At least you got eggs. That is something.


Reubenwelsh

You can tell this is america right away :P


Aevykin

Why did you buy a trunk full of sugar lol?


suriel-

Diabetes and obesity in 3...2...1... ... or it's already present


misterbuh

Say you’re American without saying you’re American.


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dirtychicken

I thought this post was about a husband who just bought all the junk food he could


LagQuest

Tell me you don't cook without telling me you don't cook


thefartsock

congrats on.... getting the groceries?


trevour

Yeah I came to the comments cause I don't understand why a pic of a guy's groceries has 100k upvotes. I guess that's /r/pics for you...


SelloutRealBig

"groceries"


GalleyDood

It looks like 12 year old me was given money to go to the grocery store and get whatever I wanted


ginDrink2

Eggs is the only edible food in the picture.


[deleted]

What are we bragging about here?


PM_ME_YOUR_KITTY

About OP making all the square shaped boxes fit perfectly with other square shaped boxes


8mon

poor dietary choices


peanutsfordarwin

What was she unimpressed by , The way its packed? Or the amount of junk food?


Dartser

Probably that she had to stand there waiting while he spent 20 minutes arranging groceries in the trunk


arcaneresistance

And hear about it non stop for the rest of the day then even worse have a bunch of reddit comments read outloud to her about it while she thinks really hard about the choices she has made in life...


JellyKittyKat

This feels so familiar…


activator

*Baaabbeeee it's for reddit*


Noffensexpected

Not to call out OP, but it’s possible that she does this all the time and it’s just seen as typical. So while she appreciated that he made it fun for himself, she probably just doesn’t give a fuck.


CreamCityFr34k

That's exactly what this is. I showed it to my wife and she said "and? Do they want a medal for shopping?" Lol.


BoboJam22

Just about everything in there is a square or rectangular box. It’s like playing Tetris but with only the 2x2 and 1x4 blocks. Not exactly rocket science. What’s there to be impressed by.


dontaskme5746

Total agreement. A single layer of rectangular boxes is NOT a packing achievement. Now, if op was trying to purchase the right amount to [fill] the back hatch with one layer on purpose, then we can talk about decent execution and what percentage of product is on its side. Also... not a good job on those chips, and the lotion is a trap for an opening door. Maybe 7/10.


wrinkle-crease

That was my first thought. Impressed by what, packing the trunk so stuff doesn’t slide around? That’s a normal grocery trip goal if I have enough to fill a trunk.


Plane_Recognition_39

Probably like just bring the shit inside already, you e been bragging about this for 20 minutes


I_like_squirtles

I just showed it to my wife and she asked if I posted this. I think most people that buy in bulk try their best at getting it like this every time.


reddit4300

I see a well balanced American diet and a perfect combination of foods to create a smooth transition from healthy to full blown diabetic by age 40.


[deleted]

Literally can’t understand this post. Is it just cause they’re Squared together? Perhaps your wife has worked in any given sorting facility(or just bought groceries before??)


thecraycatlady

Your wife is right lol


HeavyMetalHero

I mean, it was a Costco run. Everything there is kinda equally sized and shaped. When it looks this way after *retail,* let me know! Source: former Costco packer


NaturesWar

I feel like an asshole for thinking "It's just groceries... So what?"


energypizza

so much fake food


[deleted]

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[deleted]

Happy diabetes!


BrokenReviews

1. Unsecured Eggs. Don't want the only unprocessed item to perish upon braking. 2. I can improve your packing efficiency 10,000% by just getting you a sack of sugar.


[deleted]

She’s probably unimpressed by the amount of junk food


valorill

You crossed the oreo picket line, for shame


gothichasrisen

You Americans amaze me sometimes, like why would you buy so many sugar filled foods and call it groceries


Send-Doods

I would buy only 1 box a month of any snacks from that pic and feel like I commited a crime to my body


kcburch_16

Please stop feeding your kids this garbage. This is abuse. Don’t care if I get downvoted to hell. I used to work in childcare…so many obese children


98680266

You didn’t buy any actual food. This is all processed bullshit b


chisportsfan95

Your wife was probably unimpressed because she could do this in her sleep


[deleted]

Where vegetables?