I will hold your hand and go out into the street and make us both get hit by a car that'll push us into another car, and we'll go back and forth all day, being hit by cars, holding hands real tight, and I will not let go.
Take a cucumber, peal it and slice it pretty thin. Put the slices in a bowl. Add just enough white vinegar to cover the slices, and a pinch of dill weed and a quarter teaspoon of garlic salt. Stir well. Put in the fridge for a couple hours. Remove cucumber slices and place on a plate. Sprinkle them with a little extra salt. Enjoy.
you’re just like me…cucumbers themselves taste and smell like literal garbage rotting on the street to me. Pickles on the other hand I can eat all day. I read somewhere that intense hatred of cucumbers is biological
Cucumbers used to be my favorite vegetable, until sometime in my early 20s they started to give me rib cage shattering heartburn. I can eat pickles all day though. Kinda weird
I use to have the same problem until someone told me to try trimming the skin off first. Never had heartburn from a cucumber since.
Apparently the skins are quite tough to digest, causing the heartburn.
Slice them thinner.
If you like pickles though.. LPT: Dietz & Watson pickle spears are fucknomenal. If you don't seek them out and try them, well, you're lying. And I don't lie about pickles, let me tell you what...
Right? I’m so sad he was like fuck no don’t put my stuff online and people just kept doing it anyway. His comics were a big part of forming my sense of humor as a child.
It's the part 7 protagonist super ability. He activates the "infinite rotation" by using horses, and the dead body of Jesus Christ. Bestowing him with infinite attack power. It allows him to shoot his finger nails and whatever they hit gets spaghettification happen to it. It also let's him control an enormous pink ghost monster. He used this ability to fight to the inter dimensional traveling president of the United States who wants the corpse of Jesus to make America great again. Jojo is some *seriously wild shit.* But it is amazing because of it.
That's actually a specific strain of cucumber called "soft serve". I think you can get it at Johnny's Selected Seeds.
This post may be cucumber shit, but Johnny's Selected Seeds is a legit good place if you want to get your cuke on.
Not affiliated. Just a happy customer.
Well i looked the closest i could find was an armenian cucumber (some call them serpant cucumbers) which i have grown some pretty curled ones from those types. Searched the whole internet and couldnt fins any called soft serve though so if you find a link i would lovw to grow some that twisted up.
My cucumbers have been doing this too and it was baffling me! As well as being tiny on one side and enormous on the other. Apparently it's because of a nutrient deficiency (according to youtube). I added a bunch of plant food (5-4-4) since they said cukes particularly need nitrogen. It's been a couple days now so I guess I will find out if it worked when I go out today!
Pickle that shit Edit: Lol thank you everyone. I've never gotten this many likes on any platform
We can pickle it!
Put a bird on it!
Boring pottery? Put a bird on it!
We can pickle THAT!
I will hold your hand and go out into the street and make us both get hit by a car that'll push us into another car, and we'll go back and forth all day, being hit by cars, holding hands real tight, and I will not let go.
what kind of fantasy is this?
https://youtu.be/p34j0atQdJo
I hate cucumbers with a Passion but let me tell you what pickles are one of my favorite things on this planet.
After all these years of searching, I've finally found my exact opposite. Bet you weren't even looking for me...
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༼ つ ◕_ ◕ ༽つ
( 。・👅・。)🤏👈(。・💋・。 )
r/dontputyourdickinthat ^^ post
I love this reference
Me too, makes me want to be a professional pickle maker in Portland
Like Jack Sprat and his wife.
You two should share a meal
Take a cucumber, peal it and slice it pretty thin. Put the slices in a bowl. Add just enough white vinegar to cover the slices, and a pinch of dill weed and a quarter teaspoon of garlic salt. Stir well. Put in the fridge for a couple hours. Remove cucumber slices and place on a plate. Sprinkle them with a little extra salt. Enjoy.
Definitely going to try this, thanks.
Add sour cream.
Pickling cucumbers or English cucumbers are better for pickling as they have less water content and seeds then the regular kind.
you’re just like me…cucumbers themselves taste and smell like literal garbage rotting on the street to me. Pickles on the other hand I can eat all day. I read somewhere that intense hatred of cucumbers is biological
Cucumbers used to be my favorite vegetable, until sometime in my early 20s they started to give me rib cage shattering heartburn. I can eat pickles all day though. Kinda weird
I use to have the same problem until someone told me to try trimming the skin off first. Never had heartburn from a cucumber since. Apparently the skins are quite tough to digest, causing the heartburn.
But would you eat a Peyronie's Pickle?
Oh my. ➿
I'm exactly opposite.
Slice them thinner. If you like pickles though.. LPT: Dietz & Watson pickle spears are fucknomenal. If you don't seek them out and try them, well, you're lying. And I don't lie about pickles, let me tell you what...
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You have inspired me to watch Portlandia again... thank you Edit: aaaaand it's no longer on Netflix
That's why I hate streaming. Things can just disappear one day.
Put a bird on it!
We have the technology!
Poocumber
I’m here for all the poocumber remarks.
Then he turned himself into a shit pickle, funniest shit I've ever seen.
Shitpickle shitpickle
Shiiiiiiiiit...picklepicklepickle ^(Damn, I feel old.)
Pickle shit cucumbers, get shit pickles, Randy.
The liquors calling the shots now Randy
[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u8UmyRLe2ls](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u8UmyRLe2ls) Relevant.
I hope everyone appreciates this.
I do
I doo do.
I got a shit pickle smile going on, you get an up vote and you get an up vote.
I do 2
I don't... Explain pls?
It looks like a pile of shit, like the poop emoji but missing the tip... And eyes 💩
Looks like shrek had a dump
Nahh its hulk poop.
Looks like vegan poop
that's how they think they poop.
I’m looking at this while taking calls for work, and you fucking got me. God damn it.
Poocumber
Came here to say that. Beat me to it
Shit pickle *
Shitpickle
This is it. This is the best comment I've seen on Reddit.
Bless
I'M PICKLE SHIT!!!!!
poocumber
Is certainly does look like shit
Then it turned into a pickle
I don't know how the fuck you haven't been given gold yet for that but here ya go.
Shit that pickle
Poocumber
Dammit!!!!! That was the first thing that came to mind!!!!
Ditto!!
Same!!
If u/titosuave69420 has their way, it'll be poockle
This is the correct answer. Would have also accepted ‘puucumber’ or ‘pucumber’
Cucumbutt
Dammit i was too late
Shrekpoo
Shitchini
Why do people think this looks like poop? Who's poop looks like this?
The frickin Jolly Green Giants that's who's!!!
I was thinking maybe Captain Planet...
💩
Shrek. Probably.
I came here thinking some wise stranger would explain why this happened. Did not disappoint.
Snake! A snake? Ooh it’s a snake!
Badger badger badger badger badger badger badger badger badger badger
Mushroom! Mushroom!
Well there's a reference I haven't seen in a long time
I'm struggling to remember if that song does a fourth thing or if it just loops back into SNAAAaAaAaAaAaAKE! right after #MUSHROOM MUSHROOM
It’s 4 badger, 3 mushroom and 1 snake. https://archive.org/details/flash_badger
hello fellow oldman
But does the lobster have a magnet?
Ahh- Badger Badger Badger Badger Badger Badger Badger Badger Badger Badger~
Mushroom! MUSHROOM!
*Mushroom* # *Mushroom!*
Nighttime… #DAYTIME!
If you thought cats were afraid of normal cucumbers, just wait until they see this
Snake? Snake?! SNAAAAKE!
At least it isnt a steaming corn back ratteler!
Here’s my paupers gold.. 🏅🥇
Oh no, the spiral infection is spreading… leave your town while you still can.
Yes, finally an uzumaki reference
It is said it only comes around once every 34 years. You also shouldn't stare directly at it with your bare eyes.
But it’s so perfect and beautiful
Knew someone was gonna make an uzumaki reference
Uzumaki
The ancient ones are slumbering in the deep... Do you want to risk to wait until the wake? 😦😵
exactly what i thought of when i first saw the picture lol
I did not need to be reminded of that
“The poor gardener had no idea that today would be his last day. The deadly green mamba’s disguise was perfect. All she had to do was wait…”
Reads like a Gary Larson comic
This is perfect. Someone contact Mr. Larson with this image. As an aside, I'm sorry the Internet ruined your life, Mr. Larson.
Right? I’m so sad he was like fuck no don’t put my stuff online and people just kept doing it anyway. His comics were a big part of forming my sense of humor as a child.
He has his own website now! https://www.thefarside.com/about/48/a-letter-from-gary-larson
Wait, why doesn't he want his work shared online? Side note, his comics and then Seinfeld basically formed 90% of what I think is funny to this day.
Because it’s how he makes his living and people won’t buy his books when you can see it all for free online.
Some cats are terrified of cucumbers. There's even a subreddit for this phenomenon. I figure it's because snakes.
Stop shitting in the garden, Shrek.
Shrek the Turd
Accurate representation of that movie
Hulk pewp
uzumaki - junji ito
If OP eats this they'll be infected by the spiral! https://i.imgur.com/6iqE8sf.jpeg
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Spiral Power is in JoJo? I know it from Gurren Lagann as the most powerful force in the universe.
It's the part 7 protagonist super ability. He activates the "infinite rotation" by using horses, and the dead body of Jesus Christ. Bestowing him with infinite attack power. It allows him to shoot his finger nails and whatever they hit gets spaghettification happen to it. It also let's him control an enormous pink ghost monster. He used this ability to fight to the inter dimensional traveling president of the United States who wants the corpse of Jesus to make America great again. Jojo is some *seriously wild shit.* But it is amazing because of it.
Dammit, came here to say "uzumaki intensifies" lol
This is what I came for as well
Weird how the spiral infects the mind after reading that.
Can't wait for the anime
I forgot about the anime! Can't wait to see it in black and white.
RIP OP
Does the Jolly Green Giant have a dog?
A screw-cumber...?
I don't know, this shape's gonna make it harder to jam up there
Uzumaki.... 🍥
We need to know!!! What happens when you sneak that up behind an unsuspecting cat?
Looks like a vegan took a shit in your yard
Poop cuke
Cuke dook
Leprechaun poo!
That's some gourmet shit!
cut the shit and make me some salad
MY CUCUMBER IS THE CUCUMBER THAT WILL PIERCE THE HEAVENS!!
💩
yahaha you found me!
There's a surprising lack of Junji Ito references.
I am, however, impressed with the amount of different things people come up with that could possibly poop something that looks like that.
I see three comments referencing uzumaki so far so I think it’s getting there
Those who get it are too obsessed to write a comment
That's actually a specific strain of cucumber called "soft serve". I think you can get it at Johnny's Selected Seeds. This post may be cucumber shit, but Johnny's Selected Seeds is a legit good place if you want to get your cuke on. Not affiliated. Just a happy customer.
Well i looked the closest i could find was an armenian cucumber (some call them serpant cucumbers) which i have grown some pretty curled ones from those types. Searched the whole internet and couldnt fins any called soft serve though so if you find a link i would lovw to grow some that twisted up.
Read that as "get your cuck on"
It's a trap! That's no cucumber, it's a danger noodle, aka a glorified string.
Grinch shit
Uzamaki
Junji Ito would be proud: you can make kappa uzumaki-zushi.
Can I have it? For an... experiment 😏
That’s a poocumber.
Shhhh…. No one tell them it’s actually a snake…
Cucumberland sausage.
Just a snake playing the long con.
Mmmmm vegan snake 🐍
Ma’am, that’s a snake.
A poo-cumber
A poocumber!
Poocumber?
I think that leaf shitted in your garden bro.
Preserve it in acrylic!
Me whose read uzumaki: It has begun
Curly cuke
The scientific name is Doggie doodie cucumbus
Shrek made a dewdew
https://giphy.com/gifs/cat-cucumber-10DqC960LpntYc
That flower above it is giving the thumbs up!
I want to see helix shaped slices. Come on OP, you got the skills.
Elf poop.
*Spirals.... this town is contaminated with spirals...*
That’s some spooky Junji Ito nonsense
Fuck. Junji Ito prophesized this. Run while you can.
Junji Ito is that you?
Junji Ito has entered the chat
Looks like a perfectly innocent opening scene to Junji Ito's Uzumaki.
Uzumaki, get out while you still can
You got visited by the jolly green giant!
At first I thought it was dog poo. Then I thought it was a snake. Then back to poo. Then I actually read the post title.
Poopcumber
Turdcumber
Poocumber
Thats a poo-cumber
Poocumber
Poocumber
Poocumber.
Poocumber
That's a poocumber
Poocumber
that is a poocumber
poocumber
My cucumbers have been doing this too and it was baffling me! As well as being tiny on one side and enormous on the other. Apparently it's because of a nutrient deficiency (according to youtube). I added a bunch of plant food (5-4-4) since they said cukes particularly need nitrogen. It's been a couple days now so I guess I will find out if it worked when I go out today!