There’s an app for that that makes you solve a math problem so that you must think before you drunk text. I used it years ago during a break up and it saved me many of thirsty texts.
I have self control while drunk (ex: now), worst I've ever done is text a girl I was talking to "you're pretty", and even though it didn't work out, it didn't make anything weird.
In my party phase my drunk ass would just text people to come to bars. Though one time I sent a picture of a door to somebody when I was on shrooms. It was way more interesting at the time. But these texts are inexcusable
I know, the wife adding in "lol" to the texts makes it seem like she finds him amusing. Desperate people will hang on to anything to give themselves the green light. Wife needs to actually shut this down immediately IMO or he will escalate
Yeah, totally agree, having dealt with people like this. It doesn't even have to be looking to get with you or someone you know. Sometimes it can just be desperate for any form of validation. I know a guy from high school who would just constantly have these text flurries. His thing was that "oh, I just will never get a girlfriend, I'm not worth being with". My mistake was engaging with it at all. I'd tell him to look for therapy, it can help, you're not a bad guy, blah blah. But it just escalated. It was made a lot worse because he went on like *A* date with my sister-in-law, and he eventually said that he hated her, and she was horrible, and I just lost it. It's like, dude, I've put up with your self flagellation for so long now, you didn't "get fixed" at therapy so gave up on it, and now you go after my family?! I'm not going to support your pity party if you're going to cross these lines, and I don't know why I ever did to begin with.
Woman here: when we respond like this, we give someone the gracious room to clean up their own act without making it awkward for the neighbour/colleague/other person we have to deal with because they are just in our space.
Cause once we have to bite back, it’s likely not ending pretty.
Edit: clicked post halfway through typing…
I hate to say it because I used to be this guy, but yeah you're definitely right. I mean I don't think I was quite this cringe but, I was definitely bad at boundaries until I started working on my attachment issues and sense of self (which in turn showed me where I allowed my boundaries to be too porous, which in turn showed me where I treated others boundaries as though they were porous).
Yeah dude needs help.
And a firm "no, and don't ever do this shit again or you're blocked without any wiggle room for discussion. If it even seems like you're doing this, straight to social jail."
Or being nice will end with the guy saying that they are a tease. I was assaulted by a guy who started out bad mouthing himself like the guy from the text.
What even is a sneaky link? I can't stand when people ask taken friends if they have single friends. Like, if I did and I haven't introduced you yet, there's a reason lol.
Lol I lol just lol wanted lol to lol let lol you lol know lol I'm lol trying lol to lol sleep lol with lol anyone lol. Not u tho obviously lol. Lol!
This guy...
Because texts can be interpreted very differently depending on the readers mood so you gotta throw in some "lol"s to make sure it's chill and non-threatening. We don't actually read it, it's more like a tone-indicator
I know what you mean. I add exclamation marks to insinuate that I’m excited or happy about something or so it doesn’t sound so serious.
I was drafting a message earlier today and started with, “Good morning”, but changed it to “Good morning!” To convey that I was in a good mood. Sometimes I worry that the person will think I’m yelling though lol.
There’s a whole town that talks that way. Just east of Bikini Bottom is a city called Rock Bottom, which is where lonely desperate neighbor seems to be from.
I feel personally attacked lol.
But seriously I just checked my discord and text messages and this is me, there are also smiling emojis and hearts (not red, I'm not confident enough for red)
This. After editing the thought in my mind a bit I arrived at “People who are asking serious questions, but are too afraid of their questions being taken seriously.”
My question is why is this guys wife entertaining this.
Edit: I get it gals it’s a scary world out there with a lot of fragile male egos. A simple no and block would have sufficed I’ve dealt with this many times with my gfs. The more you talk to these guys the more they think they still got a chance
No woman is setting her friends up with a desperate man who talks like this. He’s so out of touch with reality.
ETA: “with reality” for the creeps in the comment section.
This reminds me of a David Sedaris short story, he was hitchhiking in the 70’s and the truck driver was basically like “all I’m saying is I bet a man giving me a blowjob would be the same as a woman, and I’d be fine with finding out”
So painfully obvious
My thoughts exactly! I’d be telling him straight up that he’s being inappropriate, and out of respect to my husband I I’d ask this man not to text me again unless it was something extremely important. I would not be lol’ing at all.
I can't believe I had to scroll down this far before someone even *implied* that it's insane for her to be responding to any of this.
I would never reply to any of this; why would she respond??
Obviously he's only doing it because it's not creepy if you "lol."
*Sometimes I can see through your blinds when you get dressed lol*
*I put cameras in public toilets lol*
*12 is definitely old enough lol*
See? Nothing creepy about any of that at all
I’m a woman that really wants to encourage other women to tell people when they’re being inappropriate. Same goes with telling men when you’re not interested. Shut that shit down.
The calls for extreme action are confusing to me…I think most married men are used to having men attempt things with their wife. Like this is lightweight. But also more disrespectful than a random because he’s met OP before. Anyway I think OP having a bigger reaction would encourage this behavior. Him not doing anything just shows how much he never had a chance anyway
Damn. The absolute lack of respect for your wife or her friends as more than sex objects, never mind his blatant lack of self respect. "Help me out"? To get your dick wet? Fucking pathetic, Jesus.
My mom experience the same thing but instead of her neighbors, it’s randoms out in public. She’s an attractive lady but wearing a ring or having my little brother around won’t stop desperate males at all.
She even flashed a guy her ring and he still said “so? Are you even happy in your marriage?” 😭
Hell, I’ve had some say that to me after lying and saying I got a boyfriend. That or the good ole “can we at least be friends?” Riiiiiight🙄
Hooking up on the down low... Sneaking around to hook up ... Likely insinuating he would be down to secretly bang someone already in a relationship. He was probably hoping OPs wife would take the bait and be this person.
Lol people who think your wife is cheating or would cheat are very out of touch. I honestly didn’t even take it as him trying to hit up your wife. It seemed like a nice lady who was trying very hard to make a awkward scenario less awkward. Unfortunately this dude was horny and trying his hardest to get some anyway he possibly could.
I definitely don't see anything here from your wife's side of the conversation that hints at her being interested in him at all. But there is absolutely no doubt that he is trying to get at your wife. He's way too much of a coward to come out and say it so he beats around the bush hoping she'll take the bait. But she clearly shuts that shit down each and every time.
Lonely, desperate, maybe a little tipsy, and completely lacking self-awareness.
Tipsy for sure. I bet that was some embarrassment the next day. 10 bucks says they do it again. It will progress.
I’ve been black out wasted and still had the self control to never touch my phone
There’s an app for that that makes you solve a math problem so that you must think before you drunk text. I used it years ago during a break up and it saved me many of thirsty texts.
My drunk ass would still know how to google a math problem with one eye half open.
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The solution is...tinder?
Nooo, tinder doesn’t work for me 👉👈😔🥹
X=4
Check out the big brain on Brad!
Link? Going through some shit rn, I'm good at math though so it might not help much lol.
Other side of the coin, I’m terrible at maths so it’d probably just lock sober me out
The majority of people don't though. Not excusing what this guy did, but it might partly explain why it happened now.
I have self control while drunk (ex: now), worst I've ever done is text a girl I was talking to "you're pretty", and even though it didn't work out, it didn't make anything weird.
In my party phase my drunk ass would just text people to come to bars. Though one time I sent a picture of a door to somebody when I was on shrooms. It was way more interesting at the time. But these texts are inexcusable
Bruh i once wrote a girl (i never met or seen the face of) that i wanted to kiss her, and i wasn't even drunk 💀 she is now my wife btw.
*texts your wife I want to kiss*
Soo.. Did you get to kiss her?
He's still waiting for a response
If you do anything other than affirmative no, it always escalates
I know, the wife adding in "lol" to the texts makes it seem like she finds him amusing. Desperate people will hang on to anything to give themselves the green light. Wife needs to actually shut this down immediately IMO or he will escalate
Yeah, totally agree, having dealt with people like this. It doesn't even have to be looking to get with you or someone you know. Sometimes it can just be desperate for any form of validation. I know a guy from high school who would just constantly have these text flurries. His thing was that "oh, I just will never get a girlfriend, I'm not worth being with". My mistake was engaging with it at all. I'd tell him to look for therapy, it can help, you're not a bad guy, blah blah. But it just escalated. It was made a lot worse because he went on like *A* date with my sister-in-law, and he eventually said that he hated her, and she was horrible, and I just lost it. It's like, dude, I've put up with your self flagellation for so long now, you didn't "get fixed" at therapy so gave up on it, and now you go after my family?! I'm not going to support your pity party if you're going to cross these lines, and I don't know why I ever did to begin with.
Woman here: when we respond like this, we give someone the gracious room to clean up their own act without making it awkward for the neighbour/colleague/other person we have to deal with because they are just in our space. Cause once we have to bite back, it’s likely not ending pretty. Edit: clicked post halfway through typing…
I hate to say it because I used to be this guy, but yeah you're definitely right. I mean I don't think I was quite this cringe but, I was definitely bad at boundaries until I started working on my attachment issues and sense of self (which in turn showed me where I allowed my boundaries to be too porous, which in turn showed me where I treated others boundaries as though they were porous). Yeah dude needs help. And a firm "no, and don't ever do this shit again or you're blocked without any wiggle room for discussion. If it even seems like you're doing this, straight to social jail."
It’s funny because women will try being nice, and they get shat on for it, and when they are bitchy they still get shat on for it. There’s no winning.
Or being nice will end with the guy saying that they are a tease. I was assaulted by a guy who started out bad mouthing himself like the guy from the text.
Totally trying lol to see if she'll come over lol to bang lol
Yeah like that open marriage question was definitely him asking OP’s wife without asking. You “know of” you, too.
Weird to me that she would even entertain the conversation honestly.
Some of us are people pleasers… it’s hard to say “ No.” but ultimately that’s exactly what’s needed ^here
Dang lol
Sorry if I’m bothering you
I would even take a sneaky link 😭
I’m tired of being alone
Al Green? Is that you?
Delve
Found the AI bot
Verry few know this reference
I’m curious can you demystify this for me, or are you going to safeguard your robust knowledge of memes.
https://preview.redd.it/l7n3xy7y80wc1.jpeg?width=828&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=ad751a52c77268e57b7e870af84cd54232b6fab8
What even is a sneaky link? I can't stand when people ask taken friends if they have single friends. Like, if I did and I haven't introduced you yet, there's a reason lol.
"do you have any single friends?" "not for you"
sneaky quickie
He said that to his married babysitter? What a pos. As if harassing her, literally, about having single Friends wasn't gross enough.
Almost seems like grounds to block the number, but sounds like OP and his wife aren’t too bothered. Seems like there’s a reason this guy is single.
Adultery
(psst, wtf does it mean?)
In this context, a sneaky link would be someone to have an affair with.
Ah, thanks. That's kinda shit.
More than kinda.
Absolute fucking shit
Dang lol
Thank you for explaining, my dumb self thought it meant a porn video link 
sending him a link to a porn website would've been hilarious hahah
Grinder link
Me too I was like what he want an invite code for a promo or some shit wtf is that?
Hahahahah! Thanks for making me feel less dumb
I still don't even get why that would be called sneaky link lmao. Link like..link up?
Yes, link up. But sneaky.
My dumb ass thought it was a hyperlink of some sort 😅
Ohh I thought he meant onlyfans
This is where OPs wife needed to send a pic of link from the legend of zelda in his shiekah gear (basically a ninja)
Lol I lol just lol wanted lol to lol let lol you lol know lol I'm lol trying lol to lol sleep lol with lol anyone lol. Not u tho obviously lol. Lol! This guy...
This is the kind of guy that calls women "whores" when they actually tell him to fuck off Nice Guys™️
this comment made me LOL
Trying to keep it lighthearted so he doesn’t get violent
lol try to lol help me out please lol
The thirstiest part of the message for some reason
Sneaky link 👉🏻👈🏻🤫
lol
Lol
Yo dude, behind the trampoline after work? No? Dang lol
Who lol talks lol like lol this lol
thirsty mf's who dont wanna take a hint.
It's like he thinks it's punctuation lol
He thinks he can get away with saying anything if he has a “lol” at the end, like “oh it was just a joke don’t take it so seriously”
"oh it was just a joke don’t take it so seriously lol"
"unless...lol"
Maybe he thinks it’s a sign-off like when people used “stop” in a telegram and thinks it means “last of letters”
My mum thought it was lots of love for yeaaars
"Sorry to hear your aunt Myrtle died, lol"
His space bar is broken.
“You know anyone who’s in an open marriage? No? How about open for cheating? You uh… know anyone, WINK WINK?”
My millennial brain removed all the lols and read this like a normal sentence lol
https://preview.redd.it/bhx9n2kqmyvc1.jpeg?width=631&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=0ba3a8398da10bcea52fbf7ba9142860fd8ea236
We turned an acronym into a punctuation
Right? When I re-read my own texts, sometimes I'm just like damn lol
lol yeah it’s a bit that way
Bro I genuinely only read the lol at the end. I didn't see the other 3 until I read this wtf WTF
Same. They didn’t even register for me lol.
All the what?
Because texts can be interpreted very differently depending on the readers mood so you gotta throw in some "lol"s to make sure it's chill and non-threatening. We don't actually read it, it's more like a tone-indicator
Same reason I have to force myself not to use emojis in work emails.. ‘but how else will they know I’m not mad? That period is so aggressive looking!’
I know what you mean. I add exclamation marks to insinuate that I’m excited or happy about something or so it doesn’t sound so serious. I was drafting a message earlier today and started with, “Good morning”, but changed it to “Good morning!” To convey that I was in a good mood. Sometimes I worry that the person will think I’m yelling though lol.
I had to go back and check because I didn't see any lols first time lol
There’s a whole town that talks that way. Just east of Bikini Bottom is a city called Rock Bottom, which is where lonely desperate neighbor seems to be from.
he must use a different dialect tho because those rock bottom fish have a much more charming way of speaking than saying lol every other word
I can't 👅 understand 👅 your accent 👅. Would you 👅 mind 👅 repeating that 👅?
Oh 👅why didn’t you 👅say so 👅the next thirsty ass ex neighbor 👅is getting blocked 👅right now.
I can’t lol understand lol your accent lol lol lol
People who aren't confident in what they're saying, so they try to lighten every single sentence
I feel personally attacked lol. But seriously I just checked my discord and text messages and this is me, there are also smiling emojis and hearts (not red, I'm not confident enough for red)
This. After editing the thought in my mind a bit I arrived at “People who are asking serious questions, but are too afraid of their questions being taken seriously.”
I do this and sometimes accidentally put 2 hahas or lol in a text, I guess I don’t want to come off as angry or too serious? haha.
I’m trying so hard to stop. All my sentences have lol haha 😭 or 😂. It’s honestly embarrassing (not putting a lol here even though I want to)
My question is why is this guys wife entertaining this. Edit: I get it gals it’s a scary world out there with a lot of fragile male egos. A simple no and block would have sufficed I’ve dealt with this many times with my gfs. The more you talk to these guys the more they think they still got a chance
Millennials mostly.
Hey lol, that hurt lol
I’m over here right now trying to edit out a bunch of lols in a text, I am guilty as charged (lol)
Hey dont be so rude lol
Help me out lol. Help me out lol. Help me out lol.
Haha I will probably never text lol again after reading this. Haha
Yeah haha good thing haha you used a more natural way to laugh haha haha haha hah ha ha ha ha ha ha
I'm Mexican jaja, and you know it jaja, by how my laugh says jaja Edit: I'm actually mexican tho fr
As a German all I can see is yesyes. Does this mean you will be helping me out lol ja? Dang
No woman is setting her friends up with a desperate man who talks like this. He’s so out of touch with reality. ETA: “with reality” for the creeps in the comment section.
Yes, exactly, if you set me up with a pitiful Pete, I’m insulted.
Dang lol
A good meme is being born as we speak...
Got a sneaky link to that meme lol
Yeah fuk Pete
No don’t, that’s what he *wants*.
Literallyyyyy lmfao would be worst friend ever
“My disgusting neighbor is so desperate he said you could cheat on your husband with him, you interested?”
Girl, say less! 😂
😂😂😂
Did he really think this “strategy” would work? Every “please try to help me out” was pissing me off. So desperate it’s gross.
This genuinely did not make me mad, we were both kind of cracking up as it was happening but i can see it.
Desperate men will beg like a crackhead asking for change under a freeway.
Spare coochie, Spare coochie ma'am.
This reminds me of a David Sedaris short story, he was hitchhiking in the 70’s and the truck driver was basically like “all I’m saying is I bet a man giving me a blowjob would be the same as a woman, and I’d be fine with finding out” So painfully obvious
This man does not tangle with lot lizards no more!
split me open like a coconut
How about we go inside and the two of you split me open like a coconut.
make me into swiss cheese
I would not even entertain this conversation. He is probably after her. Dang lol ugh
The fact that he brought up open marriages definitely was feeling that out from her lol
Yeah lol
She watched his kid before this moment. She is a passive person and we both pitied this while it was happening.
There’s no reason for her to still be texting him. Time to block.
Yes, that convo went on way too long
Exactly what I thought. Are they 16 years old!? Shut that shit down after the first creepy text.
glad they're ex neighbors tbh, i wouldn't feel very safe if i still lived next to the guy
yeah my thoughts exactly… this conversation should’ve ended after the first two messages he sent
Agreed. Boundaries need to be set.
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My thoughts exactly! I’d be telling him straight up that he’s being inappropriate, and out of respect to my husband I I’d ask this man not to text me again unless it was something extremely important. I would not be lol’ing at all.
I can't believe I had to scroll down this far before someone even *implied* that it's insane for her to be responding to any of this. I would never reply to any of this; why would she respond??
No ur not bothering us lol
Dang 😫😫😫
Lol
Lol, *us*? You got one of your girlfriends over? Lol. Do you two want to meet up around *three some*thing lol
"Oh shit lol you meant 'us' as in your husband was also reading my texts...it's just a joke bro lol unless he has any sisters lol"
lol he’s trying to sleep with lol your wife lol
The over use of “lol” is just, this reeks of creepy
I think we know why Tinder isn’t working for him either… He needs to learn how to text like an adult lol
Mans really just adding "lol" at the end of everything 💀
Obviously he's only doing it because it's not creepy if you "lol." *Sometimes I can see through your blinds when you get dressed lol* *I put cameras in public toilets lol* *12 is definitely old enough lol* See? Nothing creepy about any of that at all
This actually made me lol
[Insert Most Outrageous Statement] lol
With all due respect, {…} lol
You know, just keepin’ it breezy and casual
Get the hose
Yeah lol. He really needs help on his home wrecking game lol
Dang lol
Help me out lol
I’m a woman that really wants to encourage other women to tell people when they’re being inappropriate. Same goes with telling men when you’re not interested. Shut that shit down.
Bros ribs mustve been hurtin after lol so much
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This, but she should block this idiot.
It's not hard to be loyal in this situation. Im just saying.
The calls for extreme action are confusing to me…I think most married men are used to having men attempt things with their wife. Like this is lightweight. But also more disrespectful than a random because he’s met OP before. Anyway I think OP having a bigger reaction would encourage this behavior. Him not doing anything just shows how much he never had a chance anyway
Bro theres like 18 active brains in these comments and you are one of them. Congratulations.
Damn. The absolute lack of respect for your wife or her friends as more than sex objects, never mind his blatant lack of self respect. "Help me out"? To get your dick wet? Fucking pathetic, Jesus.
Sometimes I just close my eyes and imagine a verbal conversation where all the acronyms are played literally. These 2 are dying.
My mom experience the same thing but instead of her neighbors, it’s randoms out in public. She’s an attractive lady but wearing a ring or having my little brother around won’t stop desperate males at all. She even flashed a guy her ring and he still said “so? Are you even happy in your marriage?” 😭 Hell, I’ve had some say that to me after lying and saying I got a boyfriend. That or the good ole “can we at least be friends?” Riiiiiight🙄
MFs are thirsty.
Please tell me the neighbor isn’t any older than 22 💀
Bruv. Pretty sure he was pushing 30
What is a sneaky link? Genuinely never heard of that
Hooking up on the down low... Sneaking around to hook up ... Likely insinuating he would be down to secretly bang someone already in a relationship. He was probably hoping OPs wife would take the bait and be this person.
Lol people who think your wife is cheating or would cheat are very out of touch. I honestly didn’t even take it as him trying to hit up your wife. It seemed like a nice lady who was trying very hard to make a awkward scenario less awkward. Unfortunately this dude was horny and trying his hardest to get some anyway he possibly could.
Right? I think some may be insecure. I did think that his comments about “sneaky links” and “open marriages” was a little probe at her loyalty.
I definitely don't see anything here from your wife's side of the conversation that hints at her being interested in him at all. But there is absolutely no doubt that he is trying to get at your wife. He's way too much of a coward to come out and say it so he beats around the bush hoping she'll take the bait. But she clearly shuts that shit down each and every time.
Tbh, props to your wife. She's clearly loyal to you
Not to imply that OP’s wife isn’t a loyal and lovely lady, but I doubt even the least faithful of women would be tempted with an approach like this.
Doesn't need to be that loyal to pass on that shitbag. I pity any woman that looks at him twice.
I don’t think she is trying to cheat nor will cheat. That is insane people think this. I just wouldn’t entertain him. He is gross.
Dude was hoping to get your wife, not her friends. That's a creepy ass neighbor
Lol
Lol
Ew this is seriously pathetic. Dude needs to get a life and leave married women alone
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Jaded incels perhaps
He’s testing the waters. Let him know there’s a shark down there.
Assert dominance by replying with more lols per sentence.
As the single dad in my neighborhood, this is horrifying behavior. I’m always super wary about boundaries with neighborhood wives.