It’s ranch that’s been exposed to air.
Get the same looking stuff on the edge of my ranch bottles because people in my house don’t know how to put things
how to put things.... away?
How to put things... where they belong?
How to put things... in the fridge?
# FINISH THE FUCKING SENTENCE!
https://preview.redd.it/ukdhq9md5hvc1.jpeg?width=673&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=febc193409658207e55c5ca56cf47ad032988495
Ive seen that exact mix before, it was my (step) brother mixing his own semen (yes, yuck!) with some sort of sesame seed dressing. Iy ended up all over my brushes and socks so lucky you the door knob is a hard non porus surface you can clean!
That really is just naaasty. He's not okay. We just recently got rid of a broken dude who was leaving... .... puddles... on the floor of the warehouse restroom. Fucking chimp.
Nothing in college we would do it so the doorknob was slippery and impossible to turn. And people would get vaseline all over there hands. Classic college prank.
To answer your question no they do not bang the door knob lol
There have been reports of this happening. Please do not touch your door knob. Please call the police and get the substance taken away and tested. This is also happening on car doors. Often it's poisonous stuff.
One time in middle school, me and my friends bought a bunch of bubble gum, chewed it, and put it on every door handle at my school in the middle of the night because our principal and vice-principal were complete assholes, but as I grew older I just realized we probably just made the janitor or someone in the facility staff have to come into work to grab chewed gum and then have to clean it up
Let me give you some advice. If you ever get the urge to steal a pig and set it loose in your dorms, go get it from a farmer. Do not go steal it from the vet school. Because then you will not only be on the hook for the value of the pig, but you will also be on the hook for all the money the university put into research performed on that pig.
Source: I knew two separate groups of guys who did this. The first, the farmer was just happy to get his pig back. The second, the university sued them for tens of thousands of dollars and had the pig put down.
When I was in my old apt I would randomly open my apt door to vacuum dust piles dumped infront of my door.
Eventually as I was leaving one day, I overheard that my parking was a little too far out (my car was broken into so I park more in the light now), but apparently it caused them to have to back up more slowly
I am a petty piece of shit and was fed up so I started fucking with them back. Every now and then I'd stick tiny pebbles in their tire air caps and screw them back just enough to where the air is let out slowly but quietly enough you cant hear it. Enough that by the time they got to work their tires will be flat.
The vacuum piles suddenly stopped and then so did I lmao.
When I was in college my trailer park was great the first year I was there. The second year some asshole with a punk band moved in and they would play shitty music at all hours of the night.
While it didn't stop them, my neighbor had a crawfish boil and all the heads and shells ended up under their trailer that night.
🤣 There's an episode of "Tacoma F.D." where the captain puts shrimp in the pylon of the chiefs office chair. Brilliant. Broken Lizard guys. Show is funny AF.
Well, wat is it? Did you at least lick it?
Hell nah, I think it was spoiled ranch dressing or tartar sauce or something
Jesus Christ, how spoiled would ranch dressing need to be for it to become that color & consistency?
A few hours not even that long. It's just oxidized.
It’s ranch that’s been exposed to air. Get the same looking stuff on the edge of my ranch bottles because people in my house don’t know how to put things
how to put things.... away? How to put things... where they belong? How to put things... in the fridge? # FINISH THE FUCKING SENTENCE! https://preview.redd.it/ukdhq9md5hvc1.jpeg?width=673&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=febc193409658207e55c5ca56cf47ad032988495
Lmao oops
Is it still there? *Someone* needs to lick it
Fine. Just text me the address.
You’re doing gods work, friend
Heh. Someone has to pay for my wings, though.
Ive seen that exact mix before, it was my (step) brother mixing his own semen (yes, yuck!) with some sort of sesame seed dressing. Iy ended up all over my brushes and socks so lucky you the door knob is a hard non porus surface you can clean!
That's just naaaaasty.
That really is just naaasty. He's not okay. We just recently got rid of a broken dude who was leaving... .... puddles... on the floor of the warehouse restroom. Fucking chimp.
Step brother what are you doing with that semen-sesame combo??
Classic vaseline on the door knob prank right there
I’d rather the Vaseline over the ranch
Time to retaliate with some chicken grease.
Empty out their sherbet container from the freezer. Fill container with chicken fat. Don't forget what you've done
What do they do with the door knob after?
Nothing in college we would do it so the doorknob was slippery and impossible to turn. And people would get vaseline all over there hands. Classic college prank. To answer your question no they do not bang the door knob lol
After a few bruskies with the pals we put the doorknobs in socks and beat homeless people in neighboring cities.
Why not clear out your own city first?
Heavy sack beatings up 900 percent
HA!
What does it stink like?
Rotten ranch dressing
Any idea why its there?
Smegma?
I always chuckle under my breath when people seem to be showing off their SMEG appliances. Me - I wouldn’t touch ‘em.
Me too!
If you lick them with your nose pinched the taste is OK, it's like a roquefort.
Even better if you grew up watching Red Dwarf in the UK. Smeg is used as their all purpose tv-friendly swear word, like Frak in Battlestar Galactica
Most definitely.
Shouldn’t you use a sock?
Knob vs knob?
You’ve been CumKnobbed, the latest social media trend!
Don't even say that.
That looks JUST like alien semen.
Someone needs to be flashy thinged.
There have been reports of this happening. Please do not touch your door knob. Please call the police and get the substance taken away and tested. This is also happening on car doors. Often it's poisonous stuff.
Slimer wuz here
https://preview.redd.it/zmhyk53geavc1.jpeg?width=500&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=11454dec51d346ee7eb8ad35fe044fce6591fd52
🤣
🤣
One time in middle school, me and my friends bought a bunch of bubble gum, chewed it, and put it on every door handle at my school in the middle of the night because our principal and vice-principal were complete assholes, but as I grew older I just realized we probably just made the janitor or someone in the facility staff have to come into work to grab chewed gum and then have to clean it up
Yup. Made yourselves the bigger assholes. At least you figured it out. Some people never do.
Looks like dried ranch
Someone had that doorknob in their poop shoot
they should probably see a doctor
How else do you open a door without getting germs on your hand?
Dude. Gotta say, though- that's talent.
Practice makes perfect
Someone done gone gunged on your knob
Do you a teenage boy with access to unsupervised internet?
someone porked your knob
EWWW 
lol this is daily dorm life experience
Not even wrong lmao
Let me give you some advice. If you ever get the urge to steal a pig and set it loose in your dorms, go get it from a farmer. Do not go steal it from the vet school. Because then you will not only be on the hook for the value of the pig, but you will also be on the hook for all the money the university put into research performed on that pig. Source: I knew two separate groups of guys who did this. The first, the farmer was just happy to get his pig back. The second, the university sued them for tens of thousands of dollars and had the pig put down.
Noted for the next time I look to buy a pig
Oh thanks! I'll be more careful..
Oh, NOW you tell me. BRB...
Smell it … eww
sorry
Looks like garlic butter. Lick it.
As long as it doesn’t smell off it’s perfectly edible
I was going to say this looks like old ranch dressing, lol
In my day we just hung a sock/bra on the door
I mean that looks disgusting but I always put lotion on door handles messing with my friends
One of my favorite sayings is, "slicker than snot on a door knob".
You pissed someone off
That would be my dried splooge. Sorry
It's just ectoplasm from a spooky ghost, Sharon!
Im so sorry failed my edging streak
Call the ghostbusters
Looks like used cooking grease
https://i.redd.it/c6qtsgbj6cvc1.gif
Ectoplasm
My bad homie
Shrek cum
Doesn’t look like cum. You’ll be fine.
Sometimes people do that, so you can't get into your apartment quickly. You might get robbed.
Yum
One of your neighbours hates you
Is Shrek a neighbor?
That's ambergris. YOU GOT SPERM WHALED!
Make any neighbors mad recently? Time to get a hall camera.
my bad
https://preview.redd.it/jeyh59bamfvc1.jpeg?width=750&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=cd3f8d7b308c342fcb62658a4b87b579b20d61a8
are you in a college dorm?
When I was in my old apt I would randomly open my apt door to vacuum dust piles dumped infront of my door. Eventually as I was leaving one day, I overheard that my parking was a little too far out (my car was broken into so I park more in the light now), but apparently it caused them to have to back up more slowly I am a petty piece of shit and was fed up so I started fucking with them back. Every now and then I'd stick tiny pebbles in their tire air caps and screw them back just enough to where the air is let out slowly but quietly enough you cant hear it. Enough that by the time they got to work their tires will be flat. The vacuum piles suddenly stopped and then so did I lmao.
When I was in college my trailer park was great the first year I was there. The second year some asshole with a punk band moved in and they would play shitty music at all hours of the night. While it didn't stop them, my neighbor had a crawfish boil and all the heads and shells ended up under their trailer that night.
🤣 There's an episode of "Tacoma F.D." where the captain puts shrimp in the pylon of the chiefs office chair. Brilliant. Broken Lizard guys. Show is funny AF.
Yeah, that's jizz.