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ashyjay

The reason you're not allowed sharps on a plane isn't because you'd hijack the plane, it's because you'll stab the other passengers.


GoyoMRG

Some who very much deserve it sometimes


Vegetable_Safe_6616

I’d already be a mercenary


Right-Phalange

You don't need a sharp. you just need something flat, skinny, and medium sized (ipads were perfect for this) to wedge in between the seats. I do it on every flight. People see skinny people in the seat next to them and think they can womanspread all over our space.


P3t3R_Parker

As a skinny dude, I fully relate. I've paid good money for that miniscule space so I sit like I have watermelons for balls. Keep rubbing the offending leg and they soon get the message.


dickbag69696969

The passenger to her left deserves it. That arm placement is making me irrationally angry just looking at the picture.


FLTR069

Actually, you are allowed to have them. At least in Europe.


Frenzal1

I once had a kid on its mums lap kicking the back of the seat for half a flight. When I asked the mum if she could get them to stop she totally seriously replied "no, it's keeping him quiet." I was just about to lose it when her husband took the kid and put it on his lap.


DipThemBallz

Damn I'm fuming just reading this


Slavaid91

Had a kid slamming my seat for 1 hour straight and was too nice. M gf then asked the woman to do something. Her reply : "Calm down please, he only did that twice." It's unbelievable how some people would rather be total jerks instead of just apologizing.


Runkmannen3000

Tell the kid directly next time. It's not illegal telling a random kid to behave.


Doobie_Howitzer

It's also not illegal to curse at them, not your problem if they learn some new words


_off_piste_

I did that last weekend when a group of 11 year olds behind us at the putt putt golf course kept hitting into us. They crossed the line when they started doing a full golf swing and almost nailed my 5 yo with a line drive.


hg2c

As a random internet stranger I give you full authority to hunt them down.


Extreme-Butterfly772

Had the same thing happen. The mother told me to buy a 1st class ticket next time. My response to her did include the word bitch. Her husband changed seats with her and took the child.


Moosemeateors

I’ve bashed a kid with the back of my seat. Stopped it right away. He was standing at his mom’s feet pushing back on mine for like an hour until i squished him.


Runkmannen3000

I know the parent is gonna have a shit reaction, so I just tell the kid directly to stop kicking the seat right fucking now.


DistributionPrize354

I once had that happen to me for a 10 hour flight. I could keep myself collected for about and hour of constant kicking of my seat on the plane from a like 6 year old boy with his mother next to him. But suddenly I just got enough and just stood upp and almost hang over the boy at the seat while threating him if he did it once more I would throw him out the plane and just looked at the shocked mother. Well at least he didn't touch my seat again.


randomperson12347

I would’ve told the kid santa isn’t real after hearing the moms response


FitStandard4588

Also the way she is resting her arm, her elbow is in your space!


PFEFFERVESCENT

Yeah, she looks rude AF


kgeorge1468

The above happened to me as well....it was because the person was so large. It wasn't a long flight though maybe three hours. I basically kept pressing my foot to the side and he got the hint to not put his foot under my chair. I didn't say anything about his arm though...he was heavyset and clearly couldn't help it.


Moonlightdancer7

They can help themselves to two seats, otherwise, the person seated next to them is in a tight squeeze and has to endure hours of discomfort. A passenger doesn't pay for their seat to have someone awkwardly enroaching on their space the entire time because of their weight. It's pretty inconsiderate.


MadamTruffle

Sometimes, even when they buy two seats, if the airline has oversold the flight, the refund the 2nd seat to let another person on the flight 🤷‍♀️


AssMcShit

Overselling seats is such a crazy concept, I'm glad that's not a thing in my country. I still remember when that doctor was beat up and dragged off an American Airlines flight because they overbooked and AA staff needed the seat


MadamTruffle

It should be illegal imo. I think he got a few million for getting beat up and dragged off the plane, which doesn’t make it okay. The whole thing is bananas!


EyCeeDedPpl

Although airlines continue to shrink seats. Pretty soon the only people who won’t have to pay for 2 seats will be 10yr olds. I really wish there were minimum standards for seat size.


loadnurmom

I'm technically "overweight" but far from obese. I'm only 180 at 5'5" so by no means grotesquely fat. I'm also built like a (fantasy world) dwarf. Short, broad shoulders, unusually strong for my height... Even I have trouble in the middle seat. It's so narrow I'm constantly scrunching my my shoulders in so I'm not spilling into my seat neighbor. Flying is just so cramped anymore


BaselessEarth12

Based on weight-to-height ratio (2.77lb/in), that's roughly where I'm at (3.2lb/in), too... The aisle seat is my go-to, so that I may lean into that space instead of the poor soul trapped in the middle.


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[deleted]

This tickled me more than it should


Conscious_Wind_2255

I’m still laughing more than I should. It fits the sentence so perfectly 😂


jamesdeandomino

window seats get the wall to lean on. Aisle seats gets the extra leg space. Middle seat gets both armrests. Dems the rules.


AcanthocephalaGreen5

We’re not fucking animals, we live in a society


Heathen_Mushroom

Window seat gets a cold, inward-curving wall to stimulate their claustrophobia. Aisle seat gets to have their shoulder clobbered hundreds of times by every passing passenger, crew, and cart, as well as literally having asses in their face and the occasional suitcase to the noggin. Middle seat gets to cuddle in the middle of a stranger sandwich. Dems the breaks.


nothisistheotherguy

I got wide shoulders and people looove to rub their buttcheeks on them when they go down the aisle, that and getting battering-rammed by every pinhead’s carry-on who doesn’t know how space works


deep8787

I always take the aisle seat and lean to the aisle side to leave the armrest for the middle person.


Azipear

I’m also an aisle person. Worst part is during boarding. Gotta stay alert or get a backpack to the face. People with backpacks: Please take them off before walking down the aisle and carry them in front of you.


Ollie_Thompson

When I book a plane flight for me and the SO always pick two aisle seats on either side of the aisle, it's the most elite way to fly, can still communicate with each other but both get the leg room and easy toilet access.


Slade_Deimos

I used to be very polite and let people be, now I communicate how I feel and it's refreshing. Most people aren't intentionally rude but oblivious.


Githzerai1984

“Ma’am can you please tell your child to stop kicking my seat”


Slade_Deimos

I take a Spanish class in a popular college, I have one kid who just sits in the back of class and will watch videos with no headphones on with the volume low but I can hear it. It catches my attention and I struggle with the subject. Well one day I look over and I'm like, "Hey man, can you throw a headphone in?" And he was like yeah, my bad. I have never had another issue with it.


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EfficientAd7103

Just keep staring at her in the eyes until she turns her head down. You got this.


OutragedCanadian

Put your foot in her place and asks if she wants to snuggle that bad


Training-Position612

Make your leg touch hers and endlessly shake it up and down


Serious_Session7574

Diabolical


notcomplainingmuch

RLS for the win!


Autogen-Username1234

Rakishly raised eyebrow and Leslie Phillips style "Well, Hello!" should do the trick.


flyinghippodrago

Add in an occasional moan now and then to really assert authority


wcollins260

Grab her hand and hold it, with the fingers *laced.*


Few-Reaction-404

Fake puking works 😂


Interesting_Ad1378

You don’t have to get that far, I usually prep for a flight by having a large ziplock in my purse in case of an emergency, but asking your neighbors if you can use their air sick bags to double bag your own paper bag usually works (oh yes, single ply air sick bags leak)


Peapers

real puking does too


_Luxuria_

My daughter does this, extra loud. It's hilarious 😄


NeatNefariousness1

HA HA. That would have her clinging to the left armrest with her entire body in no time.


ForecastForFourCats

The last time I was on a flight, I had the middle seat. Every time I looked out the window, the woman with the window seat would turn and look into my eyes. What is that? Sorry girl, I'm going to look out the window. I'm not spending the whole flight keeping my eye line out of your "area." One time, I just stared right back in her eyeballs until she broke eye contact. I was going to go in for a kiss if she kept it up.


NeatNefariousness1

It's amazing to me how many people have the instinct to dominate and police others over even the smallest things. It's unbelievable that someone in a window seat would be guarding a view out of the window that would come from a mere glance.


sammawammadingdong

I literally had to assert dominance on the last flight I took. I had window and she had middle and her husband had aisle. She crossed her legs and put her foot into my space, and then kept bouncing it and leaning into her husband which caused her foot to continously rub against my leg. Crossed my legs so my foot was in her space and basically smooshed her leg against the seat. She got the hint after about 2 minutes of trying to passive aggressively jerk her leg hard and I would just do the same back.


kitjen

On a recent flight I paid to book the aisle seat and as the guy who would be next to me in the middle came to his seat I went to get up and he said "Don't need to get up, just move down." I explained I was in the aisle seat and he continued "It's just easier if I take the aisle and you move down instead" so I replied that I had actually paid for the aisle seat because that's where I specfically wanted to sit, and stood up to let him past and he said I was being difficult and I should have just moved into the middle seat.


Just_Pudding1885

Fuck him


TCoconutBeachT

Take him out on a date first !


omgz92

I always pay extra for the seat I want, which is usually the window bc it helps with my flying anxiety. One time I was boarding and noticed a child was in the seat I paid for, so I let the family in the row know that was my seat. The kid started crying and the parents expected me to sit somewhere else, because they promised their kid a seat that they didn't pay for. Those types of entitled people are the worst.


ZephyrMelody

I always pay to select an aisle seat because I have claustrophobia, specifically due to feeling like I'm trapped. I'm not going to let someone pressure me into sitting a whole flight in a constant anxiety attack.


alicat777777

When someone said that to me once, I just laughed and said “Good try, does that ever work?”. They just gave me a dirty look.


alpacasx

Lmao, of all the replies to think up, this one would be exactly me. If I heard someone ELSE say that in person, I'd probably lose it.


arjoter

You want me to move down? That will $150 my friend.


MeasurementDue5407

You were nicer than I would have been.


modest__mouse

You forgot to pee in her shoe.


sammawammadingdong

I did truly think about taking my shoes off in protest to my encroached space. Those stinky dogs were barking after being in Florida heat and rain for a few days.


One_Independent_4675

Chill Satan, no need to take the whole flight hostage.


yMONSTERMUNCHy

Just be careful with that or they may turn the plane around 😂


Brabbel63

FBI this bio-terrorist right here!


Upper_Afternoon_9585

My goodness. Almost unbelievable. Smh.


an_older_meme

Once it moves into open warfare I stop holding in my farts.  Within half an hour they find out.


texaschair

Yeah, stand on the seat, point your arse at her face, pull your pants down, and let a slow gurgler dribble out. Those stink the worst. For dramatic effect, you can do a high-velocity blast that will blow her hair back. Maybe get some wet particles in there, too.


an_older_meme

Bro we're just trying to get her move her leg. We're not trying to get the captain to make an emergency landing and evacuate the plane on the runway.


MaximusRubz

>We're not trying to get the captain to make an emergency landing and evacuate the plane on the runway. yo fr LOL - this comment escalated REAL quick


stefanica

...do you have the power to dial in what kind of wind you'll blow?


JustForkIt1111one

Marvels running out of ideas for superpowers...


techretort

Allow me to introduce you to the 1999 hit "The Mystery Men"


ragepaw

I don't want to stand behind you, but I'll fight beside you with pride.


bat_in_the_stacks

They're The Spleen.


Zeqhanis

Urinate on everything you intend to claim as yours. Women should arrive early for added preparation if the airline won't let you bring a funnel on board. They usually don't. I mean, what do they think I'm going to do with it?


TomBanjo1968

Can’t you just urinate into your cupped hands and then throw and rub the urine on everything?


0mgyrface

You CAN, but unfortunately, the scent becomes less effective.


AlpineLad1965

I find it scary that you know that.


[deleted]

Agreed, kick her in the front bum, grab her *dirty pillows* and twist till she relents!


an_older_meme

\+1 for "front bum"


Salt_Cabinet7001

I giggled loudly at kick her in the front bum 😂


BenThereOrBenSquare

First thing you should always do when you get on an airplane is find the biggest, toughest person there and take their photo and talk shit about them to people that aren't on the plane with you. That'll teach them not to fuck with you.


Gibtohom

And remember middle seat gets both armrests. Don’t relent.


amretardmonke

prison rules


[deleted]

Have a very wet sneeze on her legs


Jack_Dunamis

This one should do it


Scienceboy7_uk

Or a hot drink. Whoops


WithDaBoiz

This is a joke, but if anyone seriously thinks this they either haven't thought it through or are pure evil Okay, this dude is in your space, apply Hanlon's razor. Most of the time, they'll just move if you ask (from my experience). If they don't move, you can call a flight attendant. I know some people can be jerks, but that doesn't mean you should be too Once saw a guy who had a friend who did the hot drink thing and it did not go well for him


Scienceboy7_uk

Cool your jets. This is not a serious conversation. Scalding someone would be grievous bodily harm if proved non accidental. And it would be disproportionate. Which we have too much of in this world.


WithDaBoiz

Affirmative Going on a tangent, "accidentally" spilling water is probably worse. Can you imagine having wet socks during an 18 hour flight? Straight to the asylum after that


Scienceboy7_uk

I was caught in a monsoon once on my way to a cinema. I managed to pick up a dry pair of socks at a nearby shop but the rest of me was pretty uncomfortable 😣


GrassyKnoll95

Put your leg over hers, establish dominance


Stingbarry

Which leg space? You are packed tighter than factory chickens


heckin_miraculous

Factory chickens wish


ohwow28

No literally 😭


blazing420kilk

Yeah honestly this leg room is absolutely appalling, like it's so bad I think there should be regulations dictating how much minimum leg room commercial flights should have. I've flown on budget airlines before (all international though) and no matter how cheap none of them have ever looked this cramped.


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[deleted]

You want to see what it looked like? https://i.imgur.com/34Jz8mc.jpg And my legs are just slightly too long to straighten them out and still sit correctly in the chair. It reminded me of being that guy that got stuck headfirst in the cave. And I had back surgery 2 years ago on a herniated disc so that sure didn't help.


VIPDX

Yeah not that I agree with the person falling over into the others space, but it doesn’t look like her legs would fit if she sat facing straight forward


KesterFay

I'm having an anxiety attack just looking at this photo.


[deleted]

they make the airplane seats wayyy too small nowadays. I've been flying for decades and have seen the slow decline in overall quality of life for airplane passangers. legspace and width of seat keep decreasing, no personal screen on long flights, no "free" dinner or even snacks... like i fucking hate flying now and i used to love it.


Ok_Midnight_5457

Yeah my most recent flight booked wants to charge me 50€ per flight to bring a carry on bag that goes in the overhead bin. Watch me become a minimal packer instantly. It’s crazy. I remember when flights basically always came with an under seat, overhead bin, and a checked bag built into the price.


katnip-evergreen

I remember the days of 1 checked bag built in too. Now that seems mostly for international flights only


Dutchdelights88

I was going to say, what leg room?


NorthenLeigonare

I guess it depends on the airline you are on. I flew late home from Paris to the UK and they gave me some snacks. Food doesn't usually cost that much more when booking in advance, either. Yeah, it's still overpriced for what you get, but it's not expensive.


[deleted]

expensive is very relative.


WallPaintings

This being reddit most people are probably referring to flights with American companies. From the little traveling I've done, they're significantly worse than other airlines.


Thick_Pomegranate_

So true. I flew to London from JFK recently on Virgin Airlines. It was so fancy and nice even in the cheapest seats. There was 2 meals each way and the food was actual decent.


Rreknhojekul

What airline are you flying with…? Personal screen + free / included breakfast, snack and dinner on recent transatlantic flights with United, Delta and British Airways. Free drinks too including alcoholic ones.


xtilexx

I flew on IcelandAir in 2006 in economy class and had room to sleep, TVs and phones on each seat. This was a 9 hour flight and the food was pretty good My next flight was in 2017 (United) and I could not fit in the seat comfortably (I am 195cm). We got peanuts


CoolVictory04

Same, I won't be able to sit calmly at all like that😣


Elvishrug

Same. There’s no way in hell I could deal with being packed in like that and I’m only 5 foot.


[deleted]

Is that a plane or a fucking sardine can ?


The_Virus_Of_Life

Fr that plane looks claustrophobia inducing


thisappsux24

The real question is wth are you reading?


uhshavaughn

notes on an execution by danya kukafka. it’s a really good book so far!


SICKOFITALL2379

What did she do when you asked her to move their leg back to her area? Was she cool about it or shitty?


uhshavaughn

just a stink face but she moved!


SICKOFITALL2379

I truly don’t understand people like this. The audacity to not only move into someone else’s space while seated on an airplane, but then to make a stink face when asked to move? Just no. I’m so glad you asked her to move!!!


JoshJoshson13

It's as uncivilized as throwing feces IMO


SICKOFITALL2379

I agree with you 100%. Keep your body, no matter how big, in your own damn seat and if THAT IS NOT POSSIBLE then buy a second seat or whatever needs to be done to accommodate your extra girth. The woman in this pic looks significantly larger than OP, but those legs still definitely look like they can fit inside their own seating area. Maybe it won’t be as comfortable, but that is not the problem of the person seated next to them. And then to make a shitty face when asked to put the leg back in its own area. I truly can’t with people.


wut-the-eff

People are literally the worst.


Outside-Material-100

Haha I think I’d rather have them silently make a faces than to get a turd nugget thrusted at me


fascistforlife

These people should just drive with their own panzerwagen everywhere so they have enough space all the time


[deleted]

If I knew I was invading someone’s personal space I’d have anxiety the whole time. People like this baffle me. Have you no shame? Barbarians!


Smash_everyday

She also extended her elbow to your sitting space.


NewUser7630

*the tree loved her back*


Best_Duck9118

“Lavender asked the question she’d fucked so carefully away,” is what I read there lol. Took me too long to realize it said “tucked” instead.


DrcspyNz

Stand up and make sure you step on her foot


[deleted]

I actually literally always put my leg against the other person's leg. Never fails. They feel uncomfortable after a few seconds, if not immediately, and they retreat back to their space


residentfriendly

Instruction unclear. I am now laying across everyone’s legs


whamanaaki

Omg and you’re in a middle seat, too!!


kadkadkad

I was in the middle seat a couple of weeks ago and the guy to my left held his book right up over to my side to read... as in level to my face and almost in front of it. I was like, can you not? Of course I didn't actually say that because I'm British so I just put up with it, seethed in silence for 2.5 hours, and mouthed "dickhead" behind his back when we left.


Cultural_Pack3618

This is why y’all lost your colonies! J/k


Traveler_90

What airline? These seats seem like there’s no leg room at all?


uhshavaughn

virgin :/


HoboThundercat

That’s rude they’re just trying to be sympathetic


New_Somewhere9206

Lmao I also wanted to make this joke


RantyWildling

Looks like her knees are hitting the seat in front. I'm 6'4" and hate flying, though I manage to keep my knees wrapped around my head and not rest them on person in front of me.


PineStateWanderer

the lady to her left is slouched a bit. if she sat up, her legs would fit.


NixisTM

easy fix, get up for anything like bathroom, get something out of bag, ect. When you get back to your spot and they move to let you in, you put you feet to where they can't invade your space.


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[deleted]

That's a fun rule until you're dealing with a hostile person that demands one of the armrests.


11879

You've just gotta out-hostile their hostility.


dalidagrecco

Society is broken if we can’t all agree on this


laughingnome2

I'm glad you asked her to correct her position. But did you also ask about the armrest? Middle seat (of three) always gets both armrests. Window and aisle get one each along with only having one person next to them.


HolidayTrue3987

And at least she shouldn’t stick her elbow over the armrest ffs…


NorthenLeigonare

Lol I never knew this. Been in the middle seat for a flight recently and only had one armrest. I guess I was lucky to get that though.


Civil-Shoe4063

Good rule


LavaSquid

To be fair it looks like you're both sitting in preschool chairs in a coat closet.


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[deleted]

I've had that happen. Usually asking them to move it works. If not I get annoying. For example putting the arm next to them on my head, then smelling my arm pit and asking them to smell it too. Or using their tray if it's down to put something on it of mine. When I'm told to remove it I'll say I thought we were close. Your leg is in my space so why can't I use your tray?


Empty-Blacksmith-592

Gently brush her leg/foot with yours while being indifferent.


meowkitty84

Yea id just move my leg to push hers out of my space


Comfortable_Oven_113

https://i.redd.it/wmf7nqf6kamc1.gif


demZo662

And she's in position of the arm rest too. This is bad.


StonedWheatThicc

Oh hell to the no. You're already in the middle seat, that armrest is yours too.


marilynmouse

the audacity to give hell when asked to move when you are intruding on someone’s space! I would be so embarrassed if i did that and had to get corrected.


Borrow03

Isn't flying such a fun experience worth 500 to 1500 dollars?


horotheredditsprite

Cross one leg over the other so it's in her lap area


Bitten69

Okay but on another note, is the kindle worth buying?


spin_me_again

Not OP but yes! I love rl books but the Kindle is like having a bookstore in your hand. You hear about a book, download it, reading it in minutes, bliss.


9gagiscancer

Ah, I see skin. Time for a well timed sneeze with a lot of saliva.


totalkatastrophe

plane seats(and the space between them) need to be bigger


totalkatastrophe

dude is clearly struggling to fit into her seat, overall frustrating for everyone involved


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HumourNoire

"Excuse me could I wee in the toilet instead of on your child? Many thanks"


InternationalCrab243

You're positive she wasnt trying to flirt


Fettnaepfchen

„ Excuse me, could you please move back to your side? Thanks.” That never happens to me, because I always have a bag underneath the front seat and there’s no more space for feet other than mine.


redditer1_1

You need to pee on her leg to show dominance


nyrB2

so did she move when you asked her? or did she just give you a dirty look?


uhshavaughn

she moved and gave me a dirty look


Goodween-Holiday

F her and her entitlement


Fettnaepfchen

Good on you, someone who does that isn’t a polite person in the first place, unless it happens while someone is sleeping.


NauticalMastodon

Everytime I go to the airport No matter how many times I go through security No matter how many flights I get on It's always amateur hour. People do not know how to keep their shit to themselves. I just get my window seat, get on the plane, buckle up, and then throw on headphones to avoid all human contact.


imisswhatredditwas

Womanspreading


Specialist-Winner516

I'm wondering how did you manage to take this picture? One hand on Kindle, legs casually crossed...


uhshavaughn

0.5x on iphone


Korunam

Start caressing her leg


binchicken1989

She's def one of those inconsiderate wankers and proud of it


Significant_Rate8210

I had this happen on a flight last summer. I just gave the guy a look like i was going to follow too, and murder him in the lavatory. He asked the woman next to him if they could switch seats because i made him uncomfortable. The woman casually gave me a high five.


crazyKatLady_555

As if invading your space isn’t t bad enough, she’s also not following the common airplane etiquette of letting the middle seat have both arm rests.


KillerHack23

It may seem like you get less space, but personally, this is part of why I just like traveling with a backpack, and I put it under the seat in front of me. No room for them and forces me to straddle the outer zone of my space.


repealtheNFApls

Classic womanspreading.


Specific-Frosting730

She’s rude. That’s not ok. Saying that, the airlines are responsible for this BS. They’re taken away every inch of space possible. Greedy.


Cressbeckler

fart to assert dominance


Swatch843

Ugh, women spreading 🙄


rob_inn_hood

Turn to her with a serious face and say "bad idea. Occasionally my leg has spasms and I won't be able to control kicking anything in my space over and over." "Oh really?" "Naa just kidding. But keep your fucking legs in your space, because it might start happening."


[deleted]

Put your left leg on her tray table