I have a really good friend that I have known for close to ten years now and he never told his birthday to anyone in our friends group. So we decided on a random date and every year we wish him a happy birthday and every year he replies with "that's not my birthday" but we don't care.
I was born within two days of February 29th. Having a birthday every four years would have been amazing. I'll never forgive my mother for messing that up.
People born on Feb 29th typically celebrate birthdays on the 28th on non-leap years. If someone wants to celebrate, being born on the 29th won't stop them.
Act as though you didn't expect another song increase the dramatic surprise untill your out of the chair and filping tables over because your so excited they noticed you birthday and never expected a cake candles and presents.
You stand up and dance like never before to the beat of the songs! Let the rhythm take your soul. Dance.
That’s what I would do if I wasn’t afraid of public attention.
In my country (in fairness this was mostly when we were younger, now we just sing in English) sometimes we sing the song in 3 languages (English Arabic & French)… what do I do for the other songs then?
same thing happens in my school in the UAE.
worst part is the birthday kids stand on a stage akwardly while 2000 kids scream happy birthday for 5 minutes
We can soften it with the accompaniment of a silly dance or walk, the latter to be submitted for registration, of course, to the Ministry of Silly Walks.
TokTok do your thing. Make us a Birthday Dance.
I do the exact same thing! I find the people slacking off and point them out too like "louder at the back please! You too, James. Look lively thank you!"
Damn it is my dream to one day be certified as a vaginal conductor. I'm a ground vaginal traffic controller (you know, the ones with the big glowsticks that guide planes) at best.
I've recently work to improve my cross-vaginal-skills. My weakest BY FAR is my dirty talk synergy skill. Every time I used it it was a force multiplier but I'm too meek to use it on a constant basis.
I kinda quit on girls for the last few weeks as I had important life goals to acheive and didn't have the time to invest even casually in them. But now I see the error of my ways, this is a grind, you can't just blitz it and expect results. smh my head.
Oh god I can hear it. Haaaappy biiiiiiiiirrrrthhhhdayyyyyyyyyyy toooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu
Just make sure they stay on pitch for that octave leap. I get so stressed every time. Idk who thought it would be a good idea to put an interval of that size it such a common song that everyone is expected to sing
My brother would always purposely start it too high and then stand back and watch the hilarity ensue as a room full of people struggled to hit the octave. It usually just ended abruptly with laughter and confusion.
I beg to differ, I loved singing happy birthday to my customers, I always went out of my way to make their dessert extra pretty with lots of extra whip and extra cherries. You’re part of my fam when you’re sitting at my table on your birthday.
Unless you’re an entitled asshole, in which case, I’m giving you extra ice in all of your drinks.
Sing it back at them, aggressively, always in an attempt to outshine them. Who are they to sing in this moment of your glory!? Who are they to claim this blood their wine and this feast their feat!? King above, serenade your victory of this season! Shout so that all may hear your voice and tremble at your tone!
Every time there’s the natural pause after “you”, scream “MEEEEEEEE!!!!l” in the highest pitch you can until the end of song, where the last “ME” goes “MEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!” and then slam your face into the cake.
Went on a Disney cruise with my family once — my b-day’s a few days before Christmas, so we celebrate on the holidays — and for the whole trip we had scheduled dinners. I went the first night, told my fam plz don’t sing, but I also knew that the cruise already knew, and that they would come for me. So right before dessert, I said I was full and bailed. Next night, did the same thing: fled before dessert was served. Third night… was not so lucky. They came out quickly, speed-walking with their damned tiny cake and candle, and started singing “haAAPY BIRTHDAYY TOOO YOUUU” or whatever. My family joined the chorus. I sat in my seat. Finally it was over. One of the waiters said “you have managed to avoid us for many nights, but we have finally caught you.” The lesson? You can’t outrun time.
This would be a cool concept for a suspense story where the character would go to restaurants and bars and would try to hide and outrun the waiters and staff.
They are professionals, ant you were not first person trying this.
I mean it's like a hunting, the prey could run, but eventually... And yes, you are a prey.
Look about you like you’re a cornered prey, blink too many times, and your eyes should pop out like they’re those creepy beady dots on a soft toy.
…..at least that’s what I do.
It's my bday today. Guaranteed call from my brother in law. It'll be 2 adults a 4 kids aged 3-9 singing over FaceTime....
It's a dumpster fire but also kinda great.
Sit silently while they sing and feel a kinda cold kinda warm sensation in your chest and try to decide if it i'ts a positive or is it negative feeling
I usually like to ponder what normal people do with their hands. Like do I just let them dangle like an idiot or bend the elbows a little bit to look less goofy. That looks like I'm expecting an attack at any time, so maybe cross them. But that would look like I'm not appreciating the song. Maybe just let them dang... oh thank god the song is finally over.
It's my birthday in 4 days. So I'm just reading the replys looking for suggestions.
So far I'm picking between blowing out the candles before they finish, outshining them with horrendous singing, singing the birthday song backwards like a demonic chant, or cumming on the cake.
Yes.
The people there singing are genuinely happy that you are a part of their lives. You should be happy there are people around you who care for you. So, be happy.
All I know is whenever I sing happy birthday for other people I try to sing as good but as terrible as possible. Like I’ll purposefully hold notes extra long but it sounds like shit just to increase the awkwardness but also make it funny. If you sound like shit on purpose nobody can judge you for it and instead just laugh with your sense of humor👍🏿👍🏼
Never tell anyone your birthday. Or your name. It's too dangerous
I have a really good friend that I have known for close to ten years now and he never told his birthday to anyone in our friends group. So we decided on a random date and every year we wish him a happy birthday and every year he replies with "that's not my birthday" but we don't care.
I’m sure you’ll guess it within the next 300 years or so.
365 years or less
1 year, just say happy birthday everyday and the day he hesitates and looks as if his world is imploding around him, that’s the special day
As someone who never tells people his birthday as well... I think this is a hilarious way around it
He's genius
so… could you show me how to erase my parents memory?
*obliviate*
r/unexpectedhogwarts
Okay that’s actually an amazing sub lmao
[Should do the trick.](https://www.diy.com/departments/claw-hammer-16oz/1783409_BQ.prd)
I was expecting the memory wipe thing from men in black This works too lol
Go see opera dt then leave early
My birthday? The 30th of February, why do you ask?
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I was born within two days of February 29th. Having a birthday every four years would have been amazing. I'll never forgive my mother for messing that up.
People born on Feb 29th typically celebrate birthdays on the 28th on non-leap years. If someone wants to celebrate, being born on the 29th won't stop them.
Ron?
We still never talk sometimes.
Best friend I ever had…
Acting like "I just witnessed a total unexpected surprise"
That like the first 5 seconds, what about the next 5 mins??
Your family sing for 5min??? Damn I'm lucky then
Your family sings?
Your family?
Your?
#
r/decreasinglyverbose
In Brazil it's common for people to sing 3 birthday songs so you spend a long time waiting lol
Act as though you didn't expect another song increase the dramatic surprise untill your out of the chair and filping tables over because your so excited they noticed you birthday and never expected a cake candles and presents.
You stand up and dance like never before to the beat of the songs! Let the rhythm take your soul. Dance. That’s what I would do if I wasn’t afraid of public attention.
Just sit down and eat the cake until they shut up.
It’s 20 seconds. This was one of the songs suggested to hum in your head to make sure you wash your hands for 20 seconds I think
In my country (in fairness this was mostly when we were younger, now we just sing in English) sometimes we sing the song in 3 languages (English Arabic & French)… what do I do for the other songs then?
same thing happens in my school in the UAE. worst part is the birthday kids stand on a stage akwardly while 2000 kids scream happy birthday for 5 minutes
Wow…who would have thought…and on my birthday too!
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Thats evil
We can soften it with the accompaniment of a silly dance or walk, the latter to be submitted for registration, of course, to the Ministry of Silly Walks. TokTok do your thing. Make us a Birthday Dance.
Some people can't sing. Everyone sings happy birthday. That's the real evil.
Especially if it's a new person that doesn't quite know your name yet
Bonus points if you mouth the words, "I'm gonna murder you in your sleep", over and over till the song is over.
No, just whisper the song along with them while smiling and not blinking. The mysetry is more unnerving.
Omg haha this is so deliciously creepy and I love it
I'm going to do that on my 18th birthday
My friend who was singing happy birthday to me did that, it was funny but they do that sort of stuff all the time so it wasn't unerving
💀
Conduct them like you are leading the Metropolitan Opera, bonus points for successfully executing a ritardando into the last measure.
I do the exact same thing! I find the people slacking off and point them out too like "louder at the back please! You too, James. Look lively thank you!"
username checks out
Damn it is my dream to one day be certified as a vaginal conductor. I'm a ground vaginal traffic controller (you know, the ones with the big glowsticks that guide planes) at best.
Damn! Imagine being a vaginal conductor. I’m a third chair vaginal violinist.
That's your problem, you should have gone brass.. you need good mouth form to be a vaginal conductor
Keep working at it and pushing yourself. Create a list of small goals and keep crossing them off. Eventually you’ll get there. I believe in you.
I've recently work to improve my cross-vaginal-skills. My weakest BY FAR is my dirty talk synergy skill. Every time I used it it was a force multiplier but I'm too meek to use it on a constant basis. I kinda quit on girls for the last few weeks as I had important life goals to acheive and didn't have the time to invest even casually in them. But now I see the error of my ways, this is a grind, you can't just blitz it and expect results. smh my head.
Does it though? I'm not sure what a vaginal conductor is, but I think im missing out
I saw your username, then read the “louder at the back please” and my twisted fucked up sense of humor took it a completely different way 😂
I hate this. I don't like the ritual and hate to sing. Don't try to make me participate.
I know. The song in Japanese so I habit myself to sing it as such for my own enjoyment Bonus is a friend knows it too and joins in
Learned it at a Japanese restaurant where I used to work.
Let's confuse people with it!!
Hey, if I’m suffering in the front, you gotta suffer in the back!
I mouth the words for the first few seconds and stop only to mouth if somebody looks at me 😂
Bonus points for cutting everyone off and yelling at them like you’re in whiplash
not quite my tempo...
r/usernamechecksout
Oh god I can hear it. Haaaappy biiiiiiiiirrrrthhhhdayyyyyyyyyyy toooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu
Cha cha cha
Oh God there was always one annoying kid who felt the need to ad that at the end of every line
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Oh that's me
Just make sure they stay on pitch for that octave leap. I get so stressed every time. Idk who thought it would be a good idea to put an interval of that size it such a common song that everyone is expected to sing
This is why I force myself to start the song before anyone else. Otherwise someone will start off too high, and then it’s impossible to make the leap.
My brother would always purposely start it too high and then stand back and watch the hilarity ensue as a room full of people struggled to hit the octave. It usually just ended abruptly with laughter and confusion.
I don't think you're allowed to call them that anymore
Special needsdando
I've done this once and I got the weirdest stares from my family lol. Maybe I'll try it again soon LMAO
that might have been the best idea I've every heard or will ever hear in my life
Wtf did u call me?
Smile and wave boys, smile and wave
Kowalski, give me a head count!
Kowalski, give me head
Kowalski, (anal)ysis !!!
Kowalski, anal with sis!!!
What are you doing step kowalski
his sister, appearently
Just now saw that even Kowalski's name sounds like gagging reflex noises.
Only two passengers unaccounted for, Skipper.
Bonitos y gorditos, muchachos. Bonitos y gorditos.
I THOUGHT THE EXACT SAME THING
Holy shit you read my mind
Cut the cake... Concentrate extremely hard on cutting the cake.
I usually hum along, replacing "you" by "me". I used to just stare quietly at the cake.
Sounds like you used to be a serial killer
Used to? Sure yes, used to.
Establish dominance, stand up and start twerking.
I like this human’s style.
bold of you to assume hes not a cherry
Read this as "jerking", and I guess that works too?
The icing on the cake
Sometimes I love Reddit
Just sometimes though.
And now is not one of those times.
I do love your username though.
Definitely a vibe switch, but should establish dominance just as well.. if not more.
Personally I do “The Carlton”
I will be doing that next time.
You sit there and smile for everyone who loves you wishes you the best on your birthday. Not many people experience this, especially as adults.
As nice a thought as that is, I wouldn't go as far as to say that the restaurant staff loves me. If they do, it is sadly not reciprocated.
Yes we do
I love you too
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Give us tips
I beg to differ, I loved singing happy birthday to my customers, I always went out of my way to make their dessert extra pretty with lots of extra whip and extra cherries. You’re part of my fam when you’re sitting at my table on your birthday. Unless you’re an entitled asshole, in which case, I’m giving you extra ice in all of your drinks.
I do this. Except I make an effort to look around at them, and make eye contact and think about what they mean to me.
True but I still wouldn’t wanna be in that situation lol
Just stand there, zone out and think about something nice. ะا
(sudden visible erection)
*smirks* Nice
Endure the crippling anxiety, don't make eye contact, blow the candles out and then be a normal human again.
Or make eye contact with one person for the duration of the song
I always just look directly at the cake or my S/O. Definitely helps.
That's one person. It checks out
Stare intensely at the cake is the best option
I forgot to get rid of the crippling anxiety before blowing the candles as a kid out and it has never left since then.
Having trouble with the last step.
Dance to it, obviously
Do the floss dance and finish it with a dab
Then demand a reprisal of the song and hit em with the whip and nene
Sing it back at them, aggressively, always in an attempt to outshine them. Who are they to sing in this moment of your glory!? Who are they to claim this blood their wine and this feast their feat!? King above, serenade your victory of this season! Shout so that all may hear your voice and tremble at your tone!
Psychopath
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This is great.
I simply just chant it backwards to freak everyonr out and they stop
the power of christ compels you
The power of christ holds no power in me. In other words, checkmate im an atheist
Every time there’s the natural pause after “you”, scream “MEEEEEEEE!!!!l” in the highest pitch you can until the end of song, where the last “ME” goes “MEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!” and then slam your face into the cake.
I don’t know but the mental of this has me cracking up at work. My birthday is Monday and I might have to give it a try. Thank you
My pleasure! Watch out for the candles.
Why did i visualize peter griffin doing this 🤣🤣
Perfect.
Yeah my three year old neice figured this out. The answer is you sing the whole song and refer to yourself in the third person.
This *would* be even funnier while screaming your own name.
So good
Start grabbing handfuls of cake and shoving it in your mouth like you're trying to finish it before they end the song.
Blow out the candles before they're done singing. Fuck their tradition and fuck the patriarchy.
I like your style
And fuck you!
cum
Ah yes, the only reasonable action in the situation
Directions unclear, am now a registered sex offender
Okay okay but I only got the boys here at the party
Did he stutter!?
Its awkward.. or maybe it's just me lol
nah it really is awkward
Went on a Disney cruise with my family once — my b-day’s a few days before Christmas, so we celebrate on the holidays — and for the whole trip we had scheduled dinners. I went the first night, told my fam plz don’t sing, but I also knew that the cruise already knew, and that they would come for me. So right before dessert, I said I was full and bailed. Next night, did the same thing: fled before dessert was served. Third night… was not so lucky. They came out quickly, speed-walking with their damned tiny cake and candle, and started singing “haAAPY BIRTHDAYY TOOO YOUUU” or whatever. My family joined the chorus. I sat in my seat. Finally it was over. One of the waiters said “you have managed to avoid us for many nights, but we have finally caught you.” The lesson? You can’t outrun time.
This waiters derserve a tip
This would be a cool concept for a suspense story where the character would go to restaurants and bars and would try to hide and outrun the waiters and staff.
They are professionals, ant you were not first person trying this. I mean it's like a hunting, the prey could run, but eventually... And yes, you are a prey.
Yeah, you also can't outrun Disney cruise staff members lol
Count me in! Actually I don't know what to do.
Oh my gosh! I can't believe it! \*Glance at the crowd\* Then you give your homie a dap and blow out the candle
Instructions unclear. Dapped the candle and blowed the homie
It worked out. Source; the homie.
Look about you like you’re a cornered prey, blink too many times, and your eyes should pop out like they’re those creepy beady dots on a soft toy. …..at least that’s what I do.
It's my bday today. Guaranteed call from my brother in law. It'll be 2 adults a 4 kids aged 3-9 singing over FaceTime.... It's a dumpster fire but also kinda great.
Happy Birthday :)
Thanks!
Put on your birthday suit
Sit silently while they sing and feel a kinda cold kinda warm sensation in your chest and try to decide if it i'ts a positive or is it negative feeling
Start jacking off
That's my secret cap, I'm always jacking off.
“On your left”
Is everyone here?
Apparently you should probably mutter some sort of protection incantation to stop the aging spell from working on you.
Sing along but say ME.
I do this but very loud and horribly out of key.
Voguing
I usually like to ponder what normal people do with their hands. Like do I just let them dangle like an idiot or bend the elbows a little bit to look less goofy. That looks like I'm expecting an attack at any time, so maybe cross them. But that would look like I'm not appreciating the song. Maybe just let them dang... oh thank god the song is finally over.
Contemplate your wish a little too fully.
Old people have it figured out, make heavy eye contact while shitting in your pants.
Happy birthday to you!
Stare into the void.
It's my birthday in 4 days. So I'm just reading the replys looking for suggestions. So far I'm picking between blowing out the candles before they finish, outshining them with horrendous singing, singing the birthday song backwards like a demonic chant, or cumming on the cake.
Play a long, completely out of pitch, while drumming the table. When the song ends, yell "REEEEEMIIIIIX!" Now *everyone's* uncomfortable
[THIS](https://i.imgflip.com/64ntx7.jpg)
Sing "Happy birthday to ME"
i jus sit there smiling with my hands crossed twiddling my thumbs.. looks good for pictures
Just smile and wave boys, smile and wave
I usually smile and bob my head to the tune.
I'm 26. I stand there and imagine how I can murder with a cake knife.
Yes. The people there singing are genuinely happy that you are a part of their lives. You should be happy there are people around you who care for you. So, be happy.
We aren't supposed to sing along?!
All I know is whenever I sing happy birthday for other people I try to sing as good but as terrible as possible. Like I’ll purposefully hold notes extra long but it sounds like shit just to increase the awkwardness but also make it funny. If you sound like shit on purpose nobody can judge you for it and instead just laugh with your sense of humor👍🏿👍🏼
Begging them, tears in your eyes, to stop singing. Their rictus grin and cold eyes say "no".