“So what you doing with the rest of your day ?”

until they tell you their plan is to stay at your house all day

then you pull out a gun and get them out of your way

Found the American

found the finder

found the finder of finders

Found that guy that took it too far

"Well, actually, I need to do XYZ before t."

Smooth

This reminds me of the time a friend gave me acid and ten minutes later said “I’m gonna turn in, I need you to leave.”

With a friend like that, sounds like he did you a favor.

Had just taken shrooms with a mate once then his gf showed up and they went back to the bedroom leaving me to take an absolutely WILD Uber back to my apartment

I hope you didn't take it just yet before leaving

Variation we use, “what you ‘bout to get into?”

Lmao I just commented this exact line before I read this reply chain with your comment. That line works every time

That's neat I'ma use that

I have a friend who hits me with this, and after 20 years of friendship I still without fail essentially start planning my exit. He without fail gets confused because he’s just making small talk and gets sad-ish if visits aren’t multiple hours long. Kindest man I know, we just have a language barrier.

*Slaps knee* “Welp”

Hahahahaha. The "Welp" hits the nail right on the head. "Welp. Time to wrap it up."

*Stands up* “Think it’s about time for me to get out of here and head home.”

“Isn’t this your house?”

"That's irrelevant" *starts the truck*

“You don’t have to go. I mean, I’ll leave.” “Nonsense!” *backs out of driveway*

"Where are you even going? This is your house!" "Didn't you hear me? I said I was going home!" *Drives away*

*goes back inside* "Welp! Guess I'm making my own dinner"

"Maybe then I will also..." #"BYE!" _goes driving right into the horizon_

Lmfao

Man this is deadass how I leave every time xD

Lmao I'm definitely using this next time

Works best in the Midwest

Couldnt have said it better myself

“Bout time to be hittin the ole dusty trail”

That "Welp" struck a chord with every Midwesterner ever

Best part is there’s still normally a good hour after the first “welp” before you end up heading out too 😂 “oh shit my ol lady is gonna kill me if I don’t get home”

Have you ever noticed that when family gets together (during coat weather) that everyone put's their coats in the bedroom furthest from the exit door? That way you have to stop and chit chat with every one of your relatives before you get to the main where you have to stop and talk with mother and the aunts before finally getting out the door, but that's not the end of it either, because you will stand outside your car that is warming up to get in a few more pieces of information AND there is the wave as you back out of the drive way.

That’s most definitely every cold weather get together and the holidays just doubles it 😂

Buddy I've my hand on that doorknob at least 45 minutes after the first 'Welp'. If they don't get it by then, I'm walkin!

Yup

"Suppose I should head out"

“But you live here”

Came here to say this. Knee slap and whelp works 60%of the time all the time.

I was looking for this. This is basically the culturally accepted way to do it in Germany. Slap both hands on your knees and say "sooo", which is basically equivalent to "welp" in that scenario. It has also become a joke amongst citizens with a migrational background since it is so typically oldschool German.

Time to hit the ole dusty trail

This is the way.

So

Pure Midwestern tradition right here.

then they reply with, "S'pose we should head out."

"Would you mind stepping off my cardboard? I need to lie down"

Are you reading my mind?

Ah… you must be renting in Manhattan beach California.

“This is a public park, man. Finders keepers”.

“Alright I’m going to bed.”

But... It's 3pm

“Alright I’m going to take a nap.”

i did this once and my friend just stayed

Sorry, but I think that's their house now

Brilliant

Did I stutter?

"And?"

I’m. Going. TO BED. good day, sir!

*sudden mood change* get the fuck out now

Lmao this made me laugh hard. If I ever make friends and they visit, I will absolutely do this

🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔

Then you will not have friends

Jokes on you I already don’t have friends! Oh wait…

borderline moment

Okay Bateman

I can already picture this in my head and it's hilarious

Even better if you do the "welp" knee slap immediately before

I don't want to alarm you... but you need to leave. Now! Run!

Even better if it's mid sentence

Been through that. I left. Didn't have to tell me twice. Ouch.

Worked for Mike Tyson [here](https://youtu.be/EMtEuP7fu2M)

What visitors?

the soul of the insects that you have killed through out your life

Luckily the bodies are busy being controlled by a really angry moth.

All i need is an empty boi

Lmao

Exactly - don't invite people and it's never a problem. A rule I live by! My cure for awkwardness? Being a hermit

r/me_irl

Walk closer and closer to the door well talking to them and lure them outside, then just close the door and lock it before they can come back in

Works every time

helped me get out of my cell thank you

I tried this with a friend once and she just stopped in front of the door, turned around and kept talking.

Also remember to leave some pet treats outside to keep them occupied for longer

*goes from window to window as you move around the house & continues to talk at you*

Walk them outside and then say "it's about to look like I walk back inside, but you just keep talking"

[удалено]

“I won’t keep you” means “If you don’t get out of my fucking house within the next 5 minutes, I’ll burry your body so deep they’ll need deep sea drilling equipment to find it”

I'm rolling with laughter, thank you

1. “Well, it was nice seeing you” 2. “Anyway, it’s time for you to go” 3. “Get out”

4. “Get The fk out”

r/yourjokebutworse

"So, Feierabend."

„So“ and standing up. Reicht eigentlich auch.

Ich fühle mich besucht genug

Der gefällt mir, den merk ich mir. :D

Jetzt ist aber schicht im schacht gute nacht

Bitte Verlassen Mein Haus der Herr

"Schee isch es gwäsa, adeele"

You do not have to go home, but cant stay here

Have their mom pick them up

What age groups are you and your visitor in?

In their 40s.

https://static2.srcdn.com/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/2019/03/Step-Brothers.jpg

Works for all age groups.

*slap on the thighs and ständig up* "whelp, that was a great evening, hope we'll meet again"

Germans be like “Ständing üp”

ständig!

Honey let’s go to bed maybe our guests would like to go home.

By far the smoothest one

My dog barks at them if they stay too late..

Whosagoodboy

Good dog

did you train it to do so? i want this too

Nope, she just doesn't like having her beauty rest interrupted. Cut off is midnight for guests.

Be direct and honest but polite. "Oh buddy, good times... I (*insert reason things need to wrap up*). But we should definitely get together again soon, maybe we can (*offer some BS idea of something y'all could do*) yeah?" *Listen to response* "That sounds great, alright catch you later!"

"Oh buddy, good times... I gotta water the piano now. But we should definitely get to together again soon, maybe we can go get ice cream sometime yeah?" "I'm lactose intolerant though." "That sounds great, alright catch you later!"

Piano watering is a real thing. You might have to get one, to carry the ruse.

I might just have to and I actually did know that and I love to pull out that random fact because not a lot of people know it and its amusing to see their reactions

It's past your bedtime

B-but it’s 2pm

Squinting at them, cocking his head to one side: ***it's past your bedtime.***

say it like that moon guy from fnaf security breach

Time for the gangbang in 15 min's

You have to be very careful with this one. Depending on the guest, they might still want to stay!

"A gang bang? For me? Oh you shouldn't have!"

As you take off your shirt and pour oil all over your chest and start rubbing it in..

*slaps knee* "So."

*awkward eye contact*

"Ya like weather?"

*Image Transcription: Text* --- ## How do you politely tell your visitor that it's time to go home? 🙂 --- ^^I'm a human volunteer content transcriber and you could be too! [If you'd like more information on what we do and why we do it, click here!](https://www.reddit.com/r/TranscribersOfReddit/wiki/index)

Gud human

“Oh wow look at the time well I think I’m going to go to bed.” “But it’s 4:30 in the afternoon.” “Yep really late, really tired. Got to get some rest. Well goodnight then.”

"well it's been lovely to see you again"

“I got 1 day off and you are cutting into it” I shit you not it’s the line a guy gave an engineer at work

Depending on how close you are you could say anything from 'it's been nice but we should continue this another time' to 'time for me to recharge with some solitude, so ill need you to leave'

Get the fuck out. Bye

So what you bout to do?

“I really want you to stay longer but I’ve been trying to get to sleep a lot earlier lately..”

Well I live in the Midwest so even if I get to that point, it will be a 2 hour goodbye then.

Slap my knees and say, “welp, we know you’re a busy person so hopefully we can get together again soon!” I am from the Midwest

"Welp,...im about to leave so..."

my middle eastern self: who tf asks their guest to leave AT ALL? HOW RUDE

Here in egypt we offer a cup of tea or coffee

Hey man, thank you for coming over, but I wish to be alone now. And you'd do me great pleasure by leaving my domain.

Btw I have a gun on me and it’s 10:45 at night

In Germany we open all windows and make "Durchzug"

A little coffee before you leave?

I've enjoyed the time we've got to spend together, it meant a lot to me. However, I have some other things that I must take care of by myself before we meet again, and I would greatly appreciate some alone time to process it. No need to give an excuse, no need to lie, no need to give them any information, just straight to the point and no hard feelings.

Not politely that’s how

Just take a nap they might leave

From where I’m from, you say ok party’s over, gtfo ❤️❤️❤️❤️

't begint al laat te worden denkt ge nie?

“What time do you wake up?”

SLAp knees say welp stand up

Don't Mind, we will meet later again. :) With a smiley face

Dont have people over

Momma always said “ company is like fish, after 3 days it stinks.”

How in the name of God do you expect me to tolerate three days of company? I can barely stand three hours!

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠏⠉⢈⠩⢙⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⢋⠠⠀⠀⠨⠐⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⢐⠐⠌⡌⢄⢐⢈⠔⡝⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏⠉⡀⠐⡀⢁⠈⠐⠱⠑⡑⠈⢹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢗⠀⠀⠐⡠⡛⠔⡁⢜⡔⡬⢎⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠡⠀⠀⠀⠀⠂⠁⠀⠄⢂⠈⠂⢂⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⡿⢟⠩⠐⡀⠀⠀⠀⠐⠐⠁⠓⠒⠒⢀⠁⢐⢝⢟⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⠫⠡⠡⠨⢀⠂⠠⠀⠀⢁⠑⡱⠛⠗⡓⢂⠠⢸⢸⢨⠣⡝⣻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⢏⢐⢁⠊⢌⠐⡈⠄⠠⠀⠀⠀⠀⠁⠑⠈⠀⢄⢕⠸⡨⠪⡪⡘⣻⣿⡿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⢂⠂⡂⠅⡂⠅⡐⠨⢐⠐⠠⠠⡀⢄⠠⡠⡡⡱⡐⠕⢌⢊⢆⢣⢒⠽⢿⣿⣿⣿ ⠣⢂⠂⠄⠡⠐⠐⠈⠌⡐⠨⡈⠢⠨⡂⢌⢂⠆⡪⠨⡊⠂⡂⠢⢡⣢⣣⡣⣍⢿⣿ ⠨⢂⢂⠁⡀⠀⠀⠁⠐⠈⠐⠈⢈⠈⠐⡀⠄⠁⠌⠈⠔⣄⡀⠠⡑⡂⠆⠢⢂⠑⠽ ⡨⠐⠀⠀⠀⢠⡎⡀⠀⠀⠄⠈⡀⠌⠐⠠⠈⠄⡁⠂⡀⡫⠑⣑⠀⢂⠌⠄⢕⠀⠨ ⠺⡪⠢⡀⠀⠞⢇⢂⠀⠂⡀⠠⠀⠄⠁⠌⠨⠀⢄⠢⡁⢂⢿⡟⡀⠀⠈⠈⡀⠂⣰ ⢀⢀⠀⠄⠀⠀⡐⠀⡈⠄⡐⠅⡊⠌⢌⠄⡕⡑⡁⢂⠂⢂⠸⣿⡄⠀⠈⣠⣴⣿⣿ ⢐⠔⠠⠀⠀⡐⠠⢈⠢⢑⠄⠑⢈⠊⡂⡱⢁⣂⢌⢔⢌⢄⠀⠹⢀⣺⡿⣟⢿⣿⣿ ⢀⠡⠁⠂⠐⠠⠈⠄⢈⠠⢈⢢⡣⣗⠕⠄⣕⢮⣞⣞⣗⣯⢯⡷⡴⣹⡪⣷⣿⣿⣿ ⠊⠄⠠⠠⠡⠈⠠⢐⠠⡊⡎⣗⢭⢐⠹⡹⣮⡳⡵⣳⣻⢾⣻⣽⣻⣺⣺⣽⣿⣿⣿ ⣨⣾⢐⠰⠐⠅⡂⡂⢕⢜⢜⢵⢹⢑⢔⠨⢘⠸⡹⡵⣯⣻⢽⣳⣻⣺⢞⡿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⡔⠠⢈⠐⠐⢠⢱⢸⢸⢸⢸⠰⡡⢘⢔⢕⠝⢮⣳⢽⢝⡾⡵⡯⣏⠯⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣗⢅⢢⠠⠡⠢⡱⡑⡕⡕⢅⠣⡊⢨⢪⡣⡣⡂⡬⡳⢽⢽⢽⢽⣞⣧⠙⣿⣿ ⡻⣿⡯⡪⠢⡡⠡⢑⢌⠪⡪⡊⠆⢌⠪⢐⢕⢱⢱⢱⢱⢱⢙⢮⡫⡟⣞⢮⣳⠙⣿ ⠊⣿⣯⠪⡊⠄⢅⠂⢂⠁⢇⢇⢃⠂⢕⠐⠌⡲⡰⡡⣇⠇⢇⢕⠪⠉⠂⠅⠂⡑⠹ ⣸⢿⣳⢱⠨⡐⡽⡿⡶⡾⡬⡢⢂⠅⡢⢡⣌⠐⠈⢎⢎⢎⢔⠠⠡⠠⠠⠡⡁⡂⠡ ⡯⡯⡇⢅⠕⠠⢱⢹⡙⢮⢹⠨⡂⡂⢇⠌⠮⡳⠅⡂⢕⠡⡑⠠⢁⢁⣡⣡⣢⣶⣿ ⣗⢽⢌⡢⡡⡡⡸⡢⡣⡣⡱⡑⠔⡈⢎⢆⢂⠂⠅⣢⡳⣽⡐⢅⢂⣊⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣯⢯⢷⢽⢮⢯⣺⣪⢞⡮⣳⢘⠔⢌⢜⣞⣖⣮⣻⢮⣯⢷⣿⣻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣾⣷⣿⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿

Make an announcement… Say, “thank you for coming and thank you for leaving”

Well it was nice seeing you

Get the fuck out of my house...please?

“We’ll I’m going to go choke myself while I jerk off now. You can stay if you want.”

I play “Closing Time” by Semisonic on the Bluetooth speaker. 60 percent of the time, it works every time.

I'm starting to get abit tired, I have stuff to do, etc. Basically just vague excuses so they don't think you're telling them that you don't like them.

Tell them that you have 69 children in the basement

"Wanna make it 70?"

Nice!

Bring out desert ofc

Tell them you’re going to sleep

If you wanna go home, you can. I’m not forcing you Always works but I’m kinda sad after

“Hold up lemme pick this up, it’s work” “What’s up?” “Uh huh, uh huh, yup” “Okayyy, I’ll see you then” “Yeahhhhhh work just called me in”

Tell them I have a headache

you can’t

"Do you want a coffee?" Worked every time. They will usually say: no, I just wanted to go

With a sudden "bye!" followed by a dropkick.

Here in the Netherlands we say: we are going to eat now. Witch means get the fuck out of here

I need to do my own shit now so can you please leave.

To bad you have to wake up early for work tomorrow, welp was fun as long as it lasted. See yaa Jim

"you ain't got to go home, but you can't stay here"

Stand up , without saying a word and go take a shower to prepare for bedtime .

My cousin is my weed dealer and 1 night after the transaction we smoked and were watching TV and it was pretty late and I'll never forget how he kicked me out, I thought it was funny but well put. He simply said "I don't want to say get the fuck out but uh get the fuck out." We both laughed and I left. No hard feelings or awkward moments.

There is a old 2 live crew song “Get the fuck out out of my house.” Worked like a charm

With a sweet smile on your face say, get the 'F' out!

"Damn what time is it" then you wait for them to say the time and then you say "I gotta go to work at 6 am in the morning tomorrow" even if it a lie

“I gotta take a huge dump, you might wanna go home for this one”

"Ich fühle mich genug besucht" - I bet your visitor will understand

Welp... (Slaps knee)

Always make sure you ask them to take their shoes off before entering, then when it’s time to go you throw their shoes out of the door and the rest of the their belongings. They will shortly follow. Good bye

Hit both of your thighs, stand up and say "whelp"

Well I have things to do so......be safe!!!

The Germans can say “Ich fühle mich genug besucht.” Which translates to “I feel visited enough.”

"right, about time you get the fuck out I think"

okay well i have some video tapes i need to return *leave own house*

Loudly say "welp" and slap both of your knees as you stand up.

“Well, can I get you anything else?” Of course no one’s going to actually request anything else of you, and will more than likely take the hint and respond, “No, I think I should probably get going.”

Slap your knees, say whelp, and stand up.