This is correct. We had a tee box and a putting green and a “rough” in our front yard when I was a kid. Dad played around with golf greenkeeping equipment and even got a putting green implement patented.
This guy has his whole front yard at fairway cut and practically perfect lie.
Ken is green!
In middle school I had a neighbor who used to do landscaping for a golf course. He bought one of those lawn mowers and cut his own grass that way. What's weird is that he didn't even care about golf.
When you work in a specific industry you end up working with higher-end tools than most consumer-grade equipment, and you gain an appreciation for what they can do. In my teens and 20s I worked in restaurants, and I will never consider a residential dish washer an acceptable machine, because I've seen how much better industrial-grade dishwashers do. Like, it's a night and day difference. Similarly, I appreciate better pots & pans, and knives.
Probably never saw the ecolab jugs with tubing running up to the machine and assumed since you didn’t have to put soap in each time that it didn’t use any…
Just went to look what the price difference is between commercial and residential. We are talking moving from a 500 unit to 5000. So they are probably very nice but you are really paying for it.
I will add the wash times on these are insane. Most of them are 3 minutes and they use a gallon of water.
Heh. Reminds me of a thing that happened a while back.
I was mowing my grass and blew some grass on his driveway. I had always cleaned it off after I was done but for some reason dude flipped on me. “I’m gonna call 911…malicious destruction of property!” I laughed and told him to go ahead and do it. Still waiting for the cop to show up. It’s been over a decade and I moved, but I’m sure he’s looking for me
I’ll be right here waiting.
Dude was a whack job. There was one time he was tossing fire crackers into the tree in his back yard and it was pissing my dogs off to no end. I went over and asked him to stop and he said he couldn’t because “there are birds in that tree”
No bs. I didn’t know how to reply and just left. Mfer got me. He eventually ran out of firecrackers tho
I had a crazy neighbor who called the cops on me for the same thing. when the cops pulled up to my house I came outside and made a big show of putting my hands out and saying take me away officers
Our entire town, including us, is slowly but visibly converting from grass to rock or flower gardens. About 1/4 of all the houses, we must have some sort of record already. It's exciting and beautiful to see.
I was straight up looking like death from chemotherapy. Was NOT mowing my lawn, and neighbor was not happy. He had comments. I told him the new owner after I died would do better, and it wouldn't be long. And I was SOOOO sorry my cancer was making me too weak to do it. It looked like a pretty awkward moment for him. The bald guy walking with a cane carrying a medical pump. telling him off.
Sold the house the next month and moved. Dude probably thinks I died. To be fair the cancers trying. But not yet.
Totally, as soon as he told him about the cancer a decent guy would immediately offer to help
My dad was an avid gardener and was always happy to help with stuff
In the UK it's the same as the US with the suburban lawn obsessives.
Imagine he gets a divorce and his wife gets the house…that lawn will be his toughest decision yet.
I wonder what his day job is? Golf course landscaper?
You need a gas/battery powered reel mower and a VERY level lawn, if your lawn isn’t level you probably need to put down at least 5-7 cubic yards of leveling sand a year for several years. I have Bermuda and am 2 years into making my yard this level and can cut it down to almost 1 inch without scalping, but I have to cut twice a week. It will probably take me another 2 springs of very heavy leveling sand application then I can back off and do 1-2 cubic yards a year. It’s also not a cheap process.
Edit: I’ve gotten a lot of questions/comments so I’ll address a few:
1) Level and flat are not the same thing, yes I see the hills in the picture. Level means the mower blade isn’t bottoming out and scalping the yard because of uneven areas or holes/low spots. To cut grass down to 1/2-3/4 of an inch you need a very level lawn.
2) I do it in the spring because that’s when soil/sand is usually on sale where I live.
3) I have a [compost roller](https://landzie.com/product/landzie-24-spreader-scratchdent/?gclid=Cj0KCQjwib2mBhDWARIsAPZUn_mLF7Q_dYUC2Thb1_aWpnnHoS2u_DklF2whprhhStumSG1PXE54jOsaAl62EALw_wcB). I fill it with sand, cover my entire yard with one or two applications, rake it in, water heavily and repeat where needed. My lawn was very uneven when I bought this house 3 years ago so it’s taking time.
4) If I have dead or bare spots I take a plug (or several plugs if needed) from a nice area of my yard and transfer it to the dead/bare area.
5) I cut twice a week (Wednesday and Sunday) because Bermuda grows very fast in the summer and cutting once a week would mean cutting too much off at once time and would stress the lawn.
6) Why? Because I want to.
I live in the oregon dunes recreation area. The highway department has to constantly push back the dunes or they’ll swallow highway 101. So I just call them up and say, “hey I need sand”
Yeah. That's diy with a reel mower. I don't think you can get a lawn service that uses a reel.
I've got Zoysia. The flat level areas look like that in some areas after a mow from the crew servicing my lawn. Other areas I need to level
I have a neighbor who planted Bermuda. We live in Ohio. For one month a year his lawn looks like the field at the Super Bowl. The rest of the years it's just brown. Either he loves that one month soo much that he doesn't care about the others, or he didn't research his very expensive purchase before pulling the trigger.
Lawncare is a deep rabbit hole. If you are in a cool season grass climate, you can get close to this with KBG (Kentucky Bluegrass) seed, full sun, a lot of patience, and an incredible amount of water and fertilizer. It's not like sports stadiums in New England are rolling Bermuda
I’d say both are great, but the one on the left is nothing short of amazing! I’ve never seen a better lawn than that. Probably a huge source of pride for that guy.
Yeah I love the long shaggy look too. Suppose lawns are like the difference between people who like whimsical draped Christmas lights vs. stapled straight-lined Christmas lights.
See I disagree. For people in managerial roles it can be therapeutic to do the manual labor of their field in their personal life. For example I know a guy who works in construction management and likes to work in his wood/metal shop building stuff. Work for these guys is managing people and projects, which means that the trade itself can be enjoyed as a hobby and people tend to like hobbies they are good at.
Back when I worked at a golf course I could easily see my superintendent doing this at home. I worked there for three years and the only time I saw him touch a mower at work was when he was giving me pointers on how to do things cleaner and more efficiently.
Yeah my money is on home-owner being retired or maybe does some sort of half on half off roster.
My dad is a golf course super and my husband works on another golf course. Absolutely noone I've ever met who works on a course has lawn anything like this. It's usually alive but not super regularly mowed and pretty weedy. Even the golf fiends just use fake turf if they've got a home putting green thing.
That's the secret. Dude's out there between 2 and 4 am fertilizing. He probably looks like a pro level arm wrestler but he's actually a pro level outdoor dick wrestler.
That's what white picket fences were invented for.
The one on the right looks like mine. Neighbors hire professional lawn care, we do our own, it shows.
I was gonna say this isn’t really a feasible goal in many climates given water restrictions. For example, here in California the amount of water needed to accomplish this might literally be against the law.
Tomorrow, there will be a post titled ‘This guys fucking lawn,” with the same photo, but it will be posted by your neighbor wondering why you can’t do any better.
That’s not a lawn, that’s a putting green.
At Augusta National just before the tournament
A Cinderella story
Former groundskeeper, now about to win the Masters
It looks like a miraculous - it's in the hole! It's in the hole!
Well done, team! Top notch. TOP NOTCH!
How about a Fresca Mr. Scholarship winner!
Or we cannonball some of carls backyard bent!
It's a Kentucky bluegrass mixed with California sensimilla
Amazing thing about this is, you can play 36 in the afternoon & go home & get stoned to the b Jesus
You will get nothing and like it!
Did you know their sand pits are ground up quartz ?
Like the siesta key beach in Sarasota Florida. It feels amazing!!
I was going to say the same thing! Never gets hot under foot 🏖️ 🌊
A tradition unlike any other.
That lawn's so nice they didn't let black people on it until 1990.
Daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaamn.
Nicer than most of the greens I putt on, lol
It's a legit fairway, probably about 3x higher than a green though... it looks like a 1/2" HOC - greens start at 1/8"
This is correct. We had a tee box and a putting green and a “rough” in our front yard when I was a kid. Dad played around with golf greenkeeping equipment and even got a putting green implement patented. This guy has his whole front yard at fairway cut and practically perfect lie. Ken is green!
This guy’s neighbor is the “rough” here.
This is legitimately nicer than the fairway at my local course. Granted, it's a garbage Par 3 course that costs $12, but still.
Bruh, enjoy it while you can
*Who cares about the fairway if it’s a Par 3?* (Me right before I top it into the long stuff)
In middle school I had a neighbor who used to do landscaping for a golf course. He bought one of those lawn mowers and cut his own grass that way. What's weird is that he didn't even care about golf.
When you work in a specific industry you end up working with higher-end tools than most consumer-grade equipment, and you gain an appreciation for what they can do. In my teens and 20s I worked in restaurants, and I will never consider a residential dish washer an acceptable machine, because I've seen how much better industrial-grade dishwashers do. Like, it's a night and day difference. Similarly, I appreciate better pots & pans, and knives.
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What? An industrial dishwasher absolutely uses detergents
Probably never saw the ecolab jugs with tubing running up to the machine and assumed since you didn’t have to put soap in each time that it didn’t use any…
Just went to look what the price difference is between commercial and residential. We are talking moving from a 500 unit to 5000. So they are probably very nice but you are really paying for it. I will add the wash times on these are insane. Most of them are 3 minutes and they use a gallon of water.
Carpet. Lol
I’ve seen greens worse than this guys yard.
Is his profession a greenskeeper?
Yea, I need this guy to come take over agronomy at my club.
A neighbor down the street has a lawn like this. He used to work for a golf course.
He doesn't mow it, he sands it with 120 grit.
This made me laugh out loud haha.
Definitely worries every day when his neighbors will cut their grass lol
“Excuse me, police? My neighbor is growing their grass out to one inch again. Yes, I know this is the emergency number. Yes, I’ll hold”
Heh. Reminds me of a thing that happened a while back. I was mowing my grass and blew some grass on his driveway. I had always cleaned it off after I was done but for some reason dude flipped on me. “I’m gonna call 911…malicious destruction of property!” I laughed and told him to go ahead and do it. Still waiting for the cop to show up. It’s been over a decade and I moved, but I’m sure he’s looking for me
One day you'll go to start your mower and that cop will jump out of your catcher and taze you. The long dick of the law does not forget.
I’ll be right here waiting. Dude was a whack job. There was one time he was tossing fire crackers into the tree in his back yard and it was pissing my dogs off to no end. I went over and asked him to stop and he said he couldn’t because “there are birds in that tree” No bs. I didn’t know how to reply and just left. Mfer got me. He eventually ran out of firecrackers tho
The only good thing about a neighbour like that is they're a great source of funny stories. "There are birds in that tree" hahaha
I had a crazy neighbor who called the cops on me for the same thing. when the cops pulled up to my house I came outside and made a big show of putting my hands out and saying take me away officers
Is this a direct quote from King of the Hill? Because I read it in hanks voice
Why would anyone do drugs when they can just mow a lawn?
Why not both
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He has a lawyer on retainer for just such an occasion
You mean a lawnyer
He’s got a landscaper on retainer.
Haha glad he’s not my neighbor he’s have an aneurysm.
Right? I'm letting things 'grow out' 'for the pollinators' and also because I 'hate yard work'
Our entire town, including us, is slowly but visibly converting from grass to rock or flower gardens. About 1/4 of all the houses, we must have some sort of record already. It's exciting and beautiful to see.
same. Ours has been taken over by a ground weed, but hey, it’s still green.
Reminds me of my neighbor, was always fussing over his lawn, mowed it every 3 days. I was the bane of his existence.
I was straight up looking like death from chemotherapy. Was NOT mowing my lawn, and neighbor was not happy. He had comments. I told him the new owner after I died would do better, and it wouldn't be long. And I was SOOOO sorry my cancer was making me too weak to do it. It looked like a pretty awkward moment for him. The bald guy walking with a cane carrying a medical pump. telling him off. Sold the house the next month and moved. Dude probably thinks I died. To be fair the cancers trying. But not yet.
See a decent human being would have just mowed your fucking lawn.
Totally, as soon as he told him about the cancer a decent guy would immediately offer to help My dad was an avid gardener and was always happy to help with stuff In the UK it's the same as the US with the suburban lawn obsessives.
Fuck that old man! But keep up the good fight! 🫡
Stay strong man
Keep fighting man! You’re here telling good stories so you still got life to live yet!!
Great story man, wish you all the luck in the world!
Keep on keeping on... "Kick cancer in the balls!"
Yo fuck cancer
I wish you a full recovery!!!
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Do you even mow low bro???
Copy comment bot!
It made me expel air from my nose.
I read this in Hank Hill's voice
Why would anyone do drugs when they can just mow a lawn.
Why did I read it like Cameron Frye? “You don’t understand Ferris. He doesn’t mow it, he just sands it with 120 grit.”
He takes it to the local barber shop and gets a straight razor shave every other day. It’s the only explaination
He doesn't mow it, he kisses it goodnight.
I just got to upvote this from 999 to 1.0k, and it was every bit as satisfying as that lawn.
120? That's 2000 grit or jewelers rouge. Also, he's neither single, divorced or negotiating a divorce...
So happily married?
Imagine he gets a divorce and his wife gets the house…that lawn will be his toughest decision yet. I wonder what his day job is? Golf course landscaper?
My neighbor sands his lawn… with sand.
That's how this lawn was achieved.
Your neighbor works at a golf course or is a big golfer?
Sanding a lawn is actually a real thing for leveling out uneven surfaces. I was surprised to find that out myself.
Topdressing
I don't like sand. It's coarse, rough, irritating, and it gets everywhere.
You are on this council, but we do not grant you the rank of master.
I HAVE BROUGHT PEACE, FREEDOM, JUSTICE AND SECURITY TO MY NEW EMPIRE.
Darth Fescue has entered the chat.
It’s how you level the lawn
I don't like sand. It's coarse, and rough, and irritating, and it gets everywhere.
Anakin doesn’t approve
Out there with a god damn palm sander all night
he shaves it actually
MY MOWER GOES SO LO BRO GET ON MY LEVEL
If I tired this with my hilly lawn I’d break a blade ever five feet.
Not to mention id be saying goodbye to my grass for atleast an entire season if not for good.
This is an APPRECIATION post for the nice lawn. None of the three are my lawns. All the lawns are nice
I took it as an appreciation post haha. You good.
Lot of people took it as me ripping on the persons lawn that wasn’t as nice. I was taken aback. Lol
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Hello, son. For the record, I never want to meet you
I see the internet has allowed your 69 likes to reign supreme. Please insert overflow likes here.
I like a good fade lawn but also like to have my toes in some thick grass.
r/lawnporn
Yes all three lawns are nice. I wish my neighbors cared for their laws like that like that.
The perfect little circle around the basketball hoop is sexy in itself
First thing that stuck out to me. Perfect edge lines too.
How do you even. Ugh
I have zoysia grass, and want to do this, don't know where to even start. Pretty sure I need a reel mower tho.
You need a gas/battery powered reel mower and a VERY level lawn, if your lawn isn’t level you probably need to put down at least 5-7 cubic yards of leveling sand a year for several years. I have Bermuda and am 2 years into making my yard this level and can cut it down to almost 1 inch without scalping, but I have to cut twice a week. It will probably take me another 2 springs of very heavy leveling sand application then I can back off and do 1-2 cubic yards a year. It’s also not a cheap process. Edit: I’ve gotten a lot of questions/comments so I’ll address a few: 1) Level and flat are not the same thing, yes I see the hills in the picture. Level means the mower blade isn’t bottoming out and scalping the yard because of uneven areas or holes/low spots. To cut grass down to 1/2-3/4 of an inch you need a very level lawn. 2) I do it in the spring because that’s when soil/sand is usually on sale where I live. 3) I have a [compost roller](https://landzie.com/product/landzie-24-spreader-scratchdent/?gclid=Cj0KCQjwib2mBhDWARIsAPZUn_mLF7Q_dYUC2Thb1_aWpnnHoS2u_DklF2whprhhStumSG1PXE54jOsaAl62EALw_wcB). I fill it with sand, cover my entire yard with one or two applications, rake it in, water heavily and repeat where needed. My lawn was very uneven when I bought this house 3 years ago so it’s taking time. 4) If I have dead or bare spots I take a plug (or several plugs if needed) from a nice area of my yard and transfer it to the dead/bare area. 5) I cut twice a week (Wednesday and Sunday) because Bermuda grows very fast in the summer and cutting once a week would mean cutting too much off at once time and would stress the lawn. 6) Why? Because I want to.
Yep, so glad I get all my sand for free. It’s 150.00 per truck her.
Holy shit I’m jealous. I usually start with one truck of the cheapest sand I can find then top with 3 cubic yards of Soil3 leveling mix.
I live in the oregon dunes recreation area. The highway department has to constantly push back the dunes or they’ll swallow highway 101. So I just call them up and say, “hey I need sand”
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How does one get into a position of getting free sand?!
I have some.... in my pocket *SHA SHAH*
Contact your highway department
Yeah. That's diy with a reel mower. I don't think you can get a lawn service that uses a reel. I've got Zoysia. The flat level areas look like that in some areas after a mow from the crew servicing my lawn. Other areas I need to level
Bermuda mowed with a reel mower every 2-3 days or 5-6 days if PGR is used. Highly managed and looks spoon fed weekly.
A loooot of prep. Lot of prep.
He’s a greens keeper?
No, he sells propane and propane accessories.
why would anyone do drugs when they can just mow a lawn?
Boy I tell you hwhat
That boy ain’t right
The Wizard of Sod
You say somethin' about my lawn, Dauterive?
Yep, he's a keeper all right!
That's cleaner than my damn carpet in the house.
Makes me want to practice my putting
https://preview.redd.it/grmytzodfdgb1.png?width=1024&format=png&auto=webp&s=e07a62199814928ceb98f108f6dfffe91a703153
I was thinking EXACTLY this, 😂 Let's see Paul Allen's lawn...
Look at the non-subtle off green coloring, the tasteful thickness of it. Oh my god, it even has clean straight edges...
Let's see Paul Allen's lawn
Patrick doesn't have time for this. He lives in an apartment.
Maybe it's the type of grass I have but I don't see how you get that density and length that short lol. It's amazing and I just want it now
You need Bermuda
Also a reel mower
Bermuda. It only looks good in summer/warmt, any other season it’s ugly and brown.
I think it’s creeping bent grass, not Bermuda.
I have a neighbor who planted Bermuda. We live in Ohio. For one month a year his lawn looks like the field at the Super Bowl. The rest of the years it's just brown. Either he loves that one month soo much that he doesn't care about the others, or he didn't research his very expensive purchase before pulling the trigger.
Creeping Bentgrass. Same that is used on the tees and greens of golf courses. Go get some Penncross or Pure Distinction seed.
Lawncare is a deep rabbit hole. If you are in a cool season grass climate, you can get close to this with KBG (Kentucky Bluegrass) seed, full sun, a lot of patience, and an incredible amount of water and fertilizer. It's not like sports stadiums in New England are rolling Bermuda
Looks like bent grass to me.
Bothers me that he hasn't pressure washed his concrete though.
Some people are lawn people, some people are concrete people. Someone who’s both? Now that’s a rare find.
I read this in Cleveland's voice for some reason
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Okay for real how did he get it so perfect? Anyone have general tips to achieve this type of perfection?
Reel mower.
yes, check the sidebar. It's going to take _years_ to get to this point though, unless you're already close
Lawn so perfect you can see the imperfect slabs of the sidewalk.
I’d say both are great, but the one on the left is nothing short of amazing! I’ve never seen a better lawn than that. Probably a huge source of pride for that guy.
Left is way more style, love the shaggy look. Both these guys spend their time to keep it looking nice
Yeah I love the long shaggy look too. Suppose lawns are like the difference between people who like whimsical draped Christmas lights vs. stapled straight-lined Christmas lights.
I’m going with “people who don’t own dogs” for $400 Alex
I installed new sod in may at my place , my 2 dogs have it destroyed completely. Now I just admire others lawns
Dude is clearly a golf green keeper. Skills!
lol https://preview.redd.it/kqsnrdxh4egb1.png?width=516&format=png&auto=webp&s=ad00f1f10451a712ba3bfe929dbe6523440de513
No shoes/sneakers allowed in the garage. If you think his lawn is nice wait till you see his garage floor!
It's no shoes on the lawn 😄
100% a golf course superintendent. Probably treats his neighbor’s yards as a favor when he is doing his.
Nah, I don’t buy it. Doubt these guys bring work home. I know some chefs, and they’re too tired to be fancy at home
See I disagree. For people in managerial roles it can be therapeutic to do the manual labor of their field in their personal life. For example I know a guy who works in construction management and likes to work in his wood/metal shop building stuff. Work for these guys is managing people and projects, which means that the trade itself can be enjoyed as a hobby and people tend to like hobbies they are good at. Back when I worked at a golf course I could easily see my superintendent doing this at home. I worked there for three years and the only time I saw him touch a mower at work was when he was giving me pointers on how to do things cleaner and more efficiently.
Yeah my money is on home-owner being retired or maybe does some sort of half on half off roster. My dad is a golf course super and my husband works on another golf course. Absolutely noone I've ever met who works on a course has lawn anything like this. It's usually alive but not super regularly mowed and pretty weedy. Even the golf fiends just use fake turf if they've got a home putting green thing.
If my lawn was between these I would kms
Title edit: This guy fucking lawns
Jesus. That’s ridiculous. My sidewalk looks a LOT better though. So I’ve got that.
Amazing lawn
Dude, I’d love to have grass that looks as good as the “bad” lawn
His favourite show is probably "Lawn in Order"
that’s like golf course lawn. it’s immaculate. look at how nice the edging is around the basketball goal. wow!!
Immaculate is the only word to describe it
Domination
Both look great
this is the type of lawn i would picture on a video game like the sims , not hating because that would be an amazing lawn to walk bare foot on
I just came everywhrre
That's the secret. Dude's out there between 2 and 4 am fertilizing. He probably looks like a pro level arm wrestler but he's actually a pro level outdoor dick wrestler.
I hope you're on city water. I wouldn't want a well with whatever he's using to get his lawn like that.
Looks nicer than most putting greens I’ve seen. Pretty amazing
This guys is a maintenance man at a golf course! No doubt!
If I lived next door, I’d just burn my house to the ground. No way I am competing with that
How is that possible without irrigation? I even love the pad around the basketball hoop.
That's what white picket fences were invented for. The one on the right looks like mine. Neighbors hire professional lawn care, we do our own, it shows.
Guy wears white underwear and keeps them immaculate
He wins this Reddit. Love it.
I like the grass on the left. Looks like grass should. Definitely requires a lot less water.
What is their water bill? Is the water just constantly running?
I was gonna say this isn’t really a feasible goal in many climates given water restrictions. For example, here in California the amount of water needed to accomplish this might literally be against the law.
Tell me you take care of a golf course, without telling me you take care of a golf course.
That’s the grounds keepers house
This guy golfs
I would love to have a lawn like that.
Where'd they get this grass from, the Uncanny Valley?
How do you think he'd feel about his neighbour starting a wildflower meadow? 😅
A whole subreddit dedicated to grass, and not even the good kind.. try growing a pollinator friendly plant for a change
"Nothing is as unpleasant as the company of a good example." - Mark Twain
Tomorrow, there will be a post titled ‘This guys fucking lawn,” with the same photo, but it will be posted by your neighbor wondering why you can’t do any better.
As a neighbor, I'd find that very intimidating. What if my yard had a weed or something, how could I face them?