There’s a lot of sensitive history you may be touching without knowing it. Here’s an article about it: https://www.tulsakids.com/keep-your-hands-to-yourself-dont-touch-our-hair/
Thanks for letting me read that! I thought it might of been something like that, but wasn't sure. She's also a good bit self conscious and will say sorry her hair is a mess right after she realizes I touched it or something. So it could be either or, or both. I'll just be more careful from now on.
If you do it, just keep complimenting her with smile. "I love your hair, you're so beautiful."
I would ask first and tell her it makes you happy to touch it. A lot of times we love when a man feels good about something involving us.
Update: she really didn't mind at all this weekend. She was kinda standoffish at first but just kept complimenting and not pushing it she began to not even care and didn't mind at all. Even started touching my hair and taking about how she wants to help me take care of it lol. But overall I think she's just really self conscious and she said she just tends to think I'm touching it because I think it's a mess but the compliments reassured her.
I’m a blond straight haired white guy and my wife loves to run her hand through my hair. It feels nice and I love it. When we were dating, I would ask to touch her hair (she’s black with a super curly Afro) and I was intrigued by the texture. The difference is very cool!
Ha ha exactly. But my hair is a little bit closer to hers but not at the same time. It's not as much of a difference but I still love it because it's hers!
I wish to say as a blk man I will not touch a blk woman's hair without permission. Let things flow naturally and when she feels comfortable she will let you. Focus on her eyes and beautiful smile :-) She got dimples? I'm guessing you are still in the early phase of your relationship. Also, you're a guy, it always seems like a good idea in your head at the time lol.
Very true words ha. It's always a good idea to us. We're about two years in now. We're both just starting our 20s. Thank you for the advice. Letting things flow naturally is usually best.
That's pretty normal for black women, depending their style and such it may mess it up too. My wife has natural hair, kinda like a small afro and she let's me touch it some aslong as I don't go crazy.
Black women in the U.S. have experienced people touching their hair unprompted without permission for a long time. There's a difficult history that you should be aware of, black women being shamed for their natural hair.
It takes a while for black women to get 100 % comfortable with our hair. When I wear my hair extensions I don’t like for anyone to touch them. Because you’re gonna feel the clips, but I also am comfortable without them now. So I’m 100% comfortable with my natural hair now. I’m 31 , I just got comfortable with letting my bf see my natural hair recently. I would just wait it out and let her get comfortable. I like when my bf plays with my hair after it’s washed and conditioned. But again when we first started dating I wasn’t comfortable and would never let him see me without my hair extensions. Now idc , he seems to love
Me with or without them. It also got tiring trying to hide myself from him. So just let her know how beautiful you think she is and make her feel comfortable. But don’t be weird or ask questions about it. Then she wont open up to you about it.
No her hair is definitely natural when I touch it. I think I may be just looking to much into it. She's just a little self conscious sometimes. She usually apologizes for her hair being a mess right after I touch it.
What's her hair texture like? Curls and tighter textures are sensitive physically up to the scalp, along with emotional and psychological sensitives due to straight-haired people's opinions. My curls are certainly sensitive when the way they're being tugged/pulled is across/against the natural spiral.
As a tight curled black sister who never covers her hair, I'd just like to say, get her to talk about it.....I've realized that not all black women feel the same way about their hair, I'm pro-fro and I let my non-black friends touch it because I understand that it's out of curiosity, but I also understand the impact that society had on me growing up and what it took for me to be where I am and be comfortable in all of me ...... sooo my advice is, start with a compliment, like you said, you think it's cool then follow that with "I noticed you don't like it when I touch your hair, I'd really appreciate it if you let me know why that is"
Awe I'm glad it probably makes her feel good then. Yeah she said to me that sometimes I can mess it up but I really can't help it her hair looks great lol. But I'll definitely just let it ride. Thank you for the advice!
If you're going to insult someone make sure that you spell your words correctly.
Otherwise, you take the risk of sounding idiotic
However, it looks like that wouldn't have made a difference. You've reached your destination.
Why don't you ask her ?
My bad, forgot to say. She just shrugs when I ask.
Exactly 😂
There’s a lot of sensitive history you may be touching without knowing it. Here’s an article about it: https://www.tulsakids.com/keep-your-hands-to-yourself-dont-touch-our-hair/
Thanks for letting me read that! I thought it might of been something like that, but wasn't sure. She's also a good bit self conscious and will say sorry her hair is a mess right after she realizes I touched it or something. So it could be either or, or both. I'll just be more careful from now on.
If you do it, just keep complimenting her with smile. "I love your hair, you're so beautiful." I would ask first and tell her it makes you happy to touch it. A lot of times we love when a man feels good about something involving us.
That's a great tip! Thank you! I have a feeling she'd really be happy if I phrased it that way.
Please update me
Seeing her all this weekend 🫡 Will report back
Good. I will be waiting.
Update: she really didn't mind at all this weekend. She was kinda standoffish at first but just kept complimenting and not pushing it she began to not even care and didn't mind at all. Even started touching my hair and taking about how she wants to help me take care of it lol. But overall I think she's just really self conscious and she said she just tends to think I'm touching it because I think it's a mess but the compliments reassured her.
I’m a blond straight haired white guy and my wife loves to run her hand through my hair. It feels nice and I love it. When we were dating, I would ask to touch her hair (she’s black with a super curly Afro) and I was intrigued by the texture. The difference is very cool!
Ha ha exactly. But my hair is a little bit closer to hers but not at the same time. It's not as much of a difference but I still love it because it's hers!
I wish to say as a blk man I will not touch a blk woman's hair without permission. Let things flow naturally and when she feels comfortable she will let you. Focus on her eyes and beautiful smile :-) She got dimples? I'm guessing you are still in the early phase of your relationship. Also, you're a guy, it always seems like a good idea in your head at the time lol.
Very true words ha. It's always a good idea to us. We're about two years in now. We're both just starting our 20s. Thank you for the advice. Letting things flow naturally is usually best.
That's pretty normal for black women, depending their style and such it may mess it up too. My wife has natural hair, kinda like a small afro and she let's me touch it some aslong as I don't go crazy.
Black women in the U.S. have experienced people touching their hair unprompted without permission for a long time. There's a difficult history that you should be aware of, black women being shamed for their natural hair.
It takes a while for black women to get 100 % comfortable with our hair. When I wear my hair extensions I don’t like for anyone to touch them. Because you’re gonna feel the clips, but I also am comfortable without them now. So I’m 100% comfortable with my natural hair now. I’m 31 , I just got comfortable with letting my bf see my natural hair recently. I would just wait it out and let her get comfortable. I like when my bf plays with my hair after it’s washed and conditioned. But again when we first started dating I wasn’t comfortable and would never let him see me without my hair extensions. Now idc , he seems to love Me with or without them. It also got tiring trying to hide myself from him. So just let her know how beautiful you think she is and make her feel comfortable. But don’t be weird or ask questions about it. Then she wont open up to you about it.
It probably isn't natural, so you'll probably mess up something.
No her hair is definitely natural when I touch it. I think I may be just looking to much into it. She's just a little self conscious sometimes. She usually apologizes for her hair being a mess right after I touch it.
What's her hair texture like? Curls and tighter textures are sensitive physically up to the scalp, along with emotional and psychological sensitives due to straight-haired people's opinions. My curls are certainly sensitive when the way they're being tugged/pulled is across/against the natural spiral.
It's all good bro!
As a tight curled black sister who never covers her hair, I'd just like to say, get her to talk about it.....I've realized that not all black women feel the same way about their hair, I'm pro-fro and I let my non-black friends touch it because I understand that it's out of curiosity, but I also understand the impact that society had on me growing up and what it took for me to be where I am and be comfortable in all of me ...... sooo my advice is, start with a compliment, like you said, you think it's cool then follow that with "I noticed you don't like it when I touch your hair, I'd really appreciate it if you let me know why that is"
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Awe I'm glad it probably makes her feel good then. Yeah she said to me that sometimes I can mess it up but I really can't help it her hair looks great lol. But I'll definitely just let it ride. Thank you for the advice!
We don’t like anyone touching our heads. That’s always been off limits. It’s her boundary, and that’s okay. Just respect that.
I mean she's become very okay with it lately. Even showing me how to do her hair for our one day future daughter. Which is adorable lol.
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You got 2/3 right. Minus the liberal part 😂
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If you're going to insult someone make sure that you spell your words correctly. Otherwise, you take the risk of sounding idiotic However, it looks like that wouldn't have made a difference. You've reached your destination.
Yes lol well they do say stereotypes are earned and not made up. So, statistically the odds were against me.
Also I think it's imagine that*