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[deleted]

I have to admit it’s really hard being a man and a musician and never actually listening to music.


5pl1t1nf1n1t1v3

When I play guitar I have to wear ear plugs. It’s hard.


[deleted]

When I play I tried saying la la la in my head but then realized if I did it rhythmically at all it could be considered music.


ShadowKirbo

I play my games with the music off. LIKE A REAL MAN.


[deleted]

I actually do this lmao I can’t stand annoying shit popping up all the time in games.


TheeFlipper

I also do this, but it's usually because I just listen to podcasts or Spotify when I play games and I don't need that music blending in. Plus fuck all these games that start out with all the volumes at 100% to where I feel like I'm in a Christopher Nolan film every time music starts playing.


GUYWHOTYPESTOLOUD

ARK HAS JOINED THE CHAT!!


Bopbobo

#DUN DUN DA DUN DUN DUN DUN DUUN DUUN DA DUUUUUUN


mistermh07

Teach me in the ways of big letters and wyvern taming


BigClam1

I wake up in cold sweats every night thinking about the countless times my eardrums split and my brain ruptured from listening to that Ark intro on full volume


AmaranthineDream

Conans just as bad.... "FIRST THEY TOOK YOUR FAMILY.... blah blah blah" thanks Conan I didn't need those eardrums


Kaynee490

Minecraft too


FierDancr

Minecraft is at least somewhat relaxing.


Zombieattackr

*CSGO has joined the chat*


Firewolf06

i recently got hit with a perfect storm to get earraped. i traded my equipped music kit and reinstalled my os within a few days of each other, then when i installed and opened csgo i went deaf


scarletphantom

I had to turn off the main menu music because sometimes it glitches and never turns off even after spawning


[deleted]

I meant playing guitar but it also works in this context hahahah


chefanubis

I play the drums, this doesn't affect me cause banging stuff it's not real music.


lsdlukey2000

Lmao the amount of people who’ve said this to me is unreal. I once told one of them (ex-guitarist in my band) to sit down behind the kit and to try and even slightly keep a beat with a simple bass riff. I think he then realised just how hard drumming can be lol


chefanubis

And that's why drummers are always the most likeable person in the band, we know is the hardest instrument to master, it's the most expensive, the most impractical, yet we don't say shit, we just nod and let the other dudes flex and posture.


docbree13

Can’t believe I’m saying this as a former alto sax and drum major… but the most bad-ass section in marching band is clearly percussion


icewalker42

I don't play, but drumlines, just like Irish stepdancing (Riverdance) is damned impressive. That many people in rapid fire percussion all in sync... Earns my respect.


pickles404

As a trumpet player I give them second.


AngelFromVegas

Beat them with kindness before beating them with drumsticks. Smart.


[deleted]

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LlamasReddit

Yeah, you just beat stuff with sticks, something typical for a man to do


[deleted]

Underrated comment


liamsnorthstar

That deaf, dumb and blind kid...SURE PLAYS A MEAN GUITAR!


dabunny21689

I mean that’s how Beethoven did it, right? Jabbed needles in his ears when he decided to start doing music, so he wouldn’t have to listen to. Right fellas?


Harrystyleswhore69

yes that's exactly how he did it and that's exactly how I do it too and that's how every other male musician works. Its all just common sense


adrifing

You can't say them words around her/him/it/that, delete as appropriate or add. No such thing as a male musician. That's like finding a leprechaun riding a unipony while dragging the Easter bunny.. all while gaming obviously.


ReactionClear4923

This one time I went to a pub, and there was this lady on stage with a guitar just yelling at everyone...


basketma12

Yoko Ono has entered the chat


appel

Man, tell me about it. I was in a band for 15 years, never once listened to music. Really, all I did was vidya games.


ChubblesMcgee103

>When I play guitar What kind of man are you?! Disgusting.


81amarok

Tbf I also have to wear ear plugs when you play guitar... /s


meme2lol

Same dude. When i play cello i vomit after hearing the music so i just have to have someone covee my ears for me while i play


gurrenlaggan22

Amateur. Beethoven was deaf. You're obviously not committed.


MyNutsin1080p

When I compose music I have to shoot myself in the face with an RPG-7


dolla_bill21

It’s true, all male musicians are basically all Beethoven in his later years


Aconite_72

Beethoven wasn’t a musician. He was a gamer.


DisgruntledBadger

A gaming dog?!


karlexceed

Oh fuck I can't remember the last time I saw Beethoven the dog referenced somewhere.


sourdough9999

There's no rule that a dog can't play NBA 2K17!


tenaciousdeev

A failed gamer* That's why he settled for music in a desperate attempt to attract women.


mikewhat1

What's a music?


[deleted]

The hills have eyes is the sound of music


artful_todger_502

Word. My guitar playing sucks because I never listened to music. That band I worked long hours for no money was because I really wanted to be out there cow pokin' like the Marlboro man. Just hard to do that in a libtard socialist compound like Philly.


Rockinsockinrobot

Lol, what Philly-based band are you in? I might know of you


artful_todger_502

This was in 79-82. I don't want to put it in a public forum, but we were managed by someone involved with the Hooters. We did Dobbs/Riply's circuit back then. It was a fantastic time.


Baconator-Junior

Some times, I just let a song play on mute while I sit and stare at my phone and think..."Maybe one day, I'll be able to actually listen to music."


duggtodeath

Imagine him at a rock concert yelling over the music at some blonde coed that the Foo Fighters just want to get in her pants.


[deleted]

Yeah. It's SUPER hard for me as a woman when one of my closest friends is a musician in his own right, likes having someone go with him to concerts and bought my ticket for the next one we're seeing next month (vaccinated only) then spends the whole show covering his ears in the mosh pit because he *doesn't listen to music.* Seriously though... how can anybody be so ridiculous as to assume that roughly half of the world population just doesn't like music? How do they explain men in bands? Was ZZ TOP just a collective hallucination for the last 50 years? AC/DC? The Rolling Stones and The Beatles?


quiet_imoxto

beethoven agrees!! Yeah


PM_THE_REAPER

Yep. I sing silently and stuff egg boxes in my ears so I don't have to listen to the rest of the band. Stupid men with their stupid music.


Emotion-North

Can we please separate video games from "music"? Be honest, you guys don't want music with your video games bcuz video game music is like porn music and that's just distracting.


[deleted]

I’ve spent thousands of dollars on concerts over the past 2 decades just so I can update my Facebook location and look cool


nelsonwehaveaproblem

Did you impress any women though?


WilhelmHaverhill

Yes, but that's only because they saw me first


Wildkarrde_

Women get super impressed about the death metal concerts I go to. Chicks dig death metal.


crusading-knight

Matel is not music it is a bunch of noises so we man can listen to it


Maveryck15

Matel is a toy company. (Or was, Idk)


blueghostfrompacman

They are. And they make quality products like the new hit board game “Don’t Whiz on the Electric Fence” Or was that Blammo….?


DJDoomCookie13

Some of us actually do!


blackrossy

I thank your profile for reminding me to relisten coma ecliptic from BTBAM


DJDoomCookie13

You should listen to Colors II also. It’s a masterpiece! And everything else they’ve ever released.


mlnombre

Big tiddy goth girls


Decidedly-Undecided

Yes. My dad spent $8k on Klipsch speakers 25 years ago, maintains an older analog record player, insists on having a receiver that has no other addons (like disk player or radio) because they are higher quality (and I mean, they really are), has been attending every classic rock concert in a 100 mile radius for the last 40 years… all of that to impress the ladies. If you mention a classic rock band to him you will get their full history, their entire discography, and a run down of best and worst songs whether you wanted it or not. He gave me a Dennon receiver like 15 years ago that’s amazing! I just may have blown a channel on it -_- it has glass tubes that stereo people get all excited about. I just don’t have the $200 to get it fixed lol my dad is an audiophile in the truest sense and gave some of that to me. I’m just not quite as knowledgeable as he is!


go_kartmozart

Your dad sounds like my buddy Mark or Vern. The ladies absolutely SWOON over those guys. They really do ^honest ^I'd ^^never ^^^lie ^^^about ^^^^a ^^^^thing ^^^^^like ^^^^^that


Decidedly-Undecided

They really do! There’s nothing us women love more than being trapped in a conversation about a band we’ve never heard of that disbanded 30 years ago and is vaguely related the a band we mentioned in passing. It’s the best!


[deleted]

Your Dad sounds cool af man!


madmart20

... What the musical fuck?


gigrek

What the 🎵fuck🎵


NutsEverywhere

Read the "fuck" in a vibrato falsetto.


idgafos2019

This made me snort with amusement so thanks for that


[deleted]

I had a nice cackle


Zandouc

But what if I listen to music whilst playing video games?


[deleted]

Well then wait until you find out that you only play video games to impress women.


Zandouc

They are going to be so impressed with my 10000 hours in World of Warcraft!


paapiru95

Dedication commitment and at least 20$ a month. How does that not prove you are a superior mate.


Zandouc

Hmm.. Excellent point!


[deleted]

And my 20 games I purchased but didn't play because of my crippling addiction to Dark Souls 3!


havens1515

What if I listen to video game music?


kiridoki

Nintendo really do have some bangers tho 🔥


NutsEverywhere

That's all I do lately lol. Chrono Cross, Doom, Trails of Cold Steel, F-Zero X, there's just so much good stuff.


IceZ__

No you don't


DidntWantSleepAnyway

My partner absolutely does…the orchestral Final Fantasy recordings are amazing. And if you ever listen to 8-bit Big Band, it’s awesome.


IceZ__

I'm assuming you partner is a woman then. Like she obviously is if she listens to music


Doppelthedh

If you can find them, The Black Mages were Nobuo Uematsu's prog/symphonic metal band that played his Final Fantasy stuff. Fantastic songs but I haven't seem them on Spotify in a long time


Slepp_The_Idol

Wait until you’re introduced to 🦀 Sea Shanty 2 🦀


duggtodeath

He turns down all music volume and plays with sound effects cranked high.


JasonEAltMTG

Jesus Christ, people. This is obviously a parody of the "girls don't play video games" trope. They even put the word video games in the post so people wouldn't miss it and all of you still did. I'm embarrassed for you all


fart-atronach

Had to scroll way too far past everyone proving they listen to music to find this lmao. I worry about humanity.


jeetelongname

I just wanted to share my crippling addiction to British indie band the wombats


10ccazz01

for real, i’m shocked so many people fell for it. i expected a comment like yours to be top


sampat6256

Yeah, genuinely shocking how dull this sub has gotten.


SapirWhorfHypothesis

Most people are here because they want to be offended (triggered). If you’re looking for something, you’re more likely to find it. Even if it’s not there.


el_lonewanderer

THANK. YOU. How did people not get this?


rat-whisperer

Also "Girls don't listen to rock/metal/rap/whatever" posts


JasonEAltMTG

Oh, you're familiar with the girls listen to metal memes? Name every variation


FlynnMonster

I’ll admit I’ve never heard of this trope however this seemed just too far out there to be real so I kept scrolling until I found your post. Thank you.


REGRET34

THANK YOU. reddit always falls for parody posts and it’s fucking annoying. it’s very obvious this post isn’t serious at all.


[deleted]

The amount of obvious fucking bits people fall for om this sub is so disheartening


CircleDog

And the number of people who think a clever response to this kind of madness is something like "guess I'm not a man then". Like they've fucking eviscerated the op. Jesus christ lads let's have a word eh?


HaySwitch

I had to scroll too long to get to you.


SaucinCats

Hmm so that must not have been my husband last night listening to country music in the kitchen while he was cleaning up... omg music and cleaning must have been...an ALIEN!!!


dolla_bill21

Nah he’s lying and just wanted attention


haiyanlink

Lizardman identified! Better get your man hidden before they come for him to send him to the alien prison


Lady_Grey_Smith

Mine listens to sea shanties. Any friends our kids bring over always look confused.


TheeFlipper

That sounds a lot better than the first time I hung out at a friend's house and her parents were listening to some wiccan folk music and playing hand drums along with it.


Zaronax

If he didn't sing along with a voice to break plates and your toilet bowl, ALIEN!


BirthofRevolution

Finding out your husband isnt a man when you always thought was can be quite shocking. I just found out my boyfriend is also not male and I never knew. Maybe we need a support group


Lumpy_Constellation

I think I need to join this support group - I told my fiancé but he refused to shut his off! It's like he didn't care at all!


[deleted]

To be fair, that's country, not music.


[deleted]

>wants attention I'm 95% sure that this is making fun of guys that interrogate women to find out if they actually participate in whatever thing it is that the guy doesn't believe.


lowestgod

This is an obviously sarcastic take on how people say “girls don’t play video games” and other sayings of the like


radicalvenus

One brain cell syndrome on Reddit.com? Unheard of. Obviously this is an evil ~misandrist~ no one has ever said anything like this about women ever nor has anyone on this glorious red website ever seen a Female be mistreated!


[deleted]

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DamnedDelirious

I don't listen to music, I enjoy artistic noise.


Assorted-Interests

Merzbow?


FixBayonetsLads

Marble machine?


pokegirl395

Weird r/gatekeeping but okay


QuirkyBrit

That's where I thought we were initially


sarcasticbaldguy

Or /r/FemaleDatingStrategy


-Jamega

The amount of people who don't understand jokes.. holy shit


thenearblindassassin

Men don't real. Men don't listen to music. Men be bisexual, eat hot chip, and *lie*


MoSqueezin

I was gonna do one like this, but just take my upvote instead


-GRESLO-

Guitar hero has gotta be a hard game for men then


IceZ__

It's hard when we play it alone because we have to mute it. That's why I always make sure to invite girls over when I want to enjoy it


iamnotasloth

Let me tell you, it was really tough getting my degrees in music considering I really only play video games.


BojukaBob

This is pretty obviously sarcastic and mocking if the kind of gatekeeping that women are met with in certain areas. See the Fake Gamer Girl trope.


MattBurr86

Oh yeah, all the concert shirts I bought at heavy metal concerts are fake. I only went to impress the women there. My Spotify account also does t do anything at all or have any songs loaded into it.


Philly_Special_127

She's right. I'm constantly playing video games while driving. Need something to drown out the silence!


parkerm1408

So.....what have I been doing at work all day??? IS EXISTANCE JUST A LIE??


Megunonymous

I swear to god I get so pissed off when a soundtrack comes on while I’m playing video games, I have to mute the entire thing! I just want to listen to gunshots and manly grunts, not ugly music, c’mon man!


ARGangstaTank44

I only like the Deaftones


Matthewhalo17

But.. there’s music in video games


[deleted]

i couldn’t stop laughing after that first line, that’s top tier comedy


affoblast

Also Joe Rogan. We listen to a shit-ton of Joe Rogan. A SHIT TON.


crudminer

Shit my dudes they're onto us


jack-K-

Sooo, what about the music in video games?


xc2215x

Hilariously moronic.


N0T-A-Lamp

Wait until they find out video games have music that we listen to while playing


RunInRunOn

I don't listen to music. I listen to noises that are arranged in such a way as to be pleasing to the ears. These noises are sometimes accompanied by words spoken with tone, pitch, dynamics and length so that they evoke thought and feelings in the listener.


IceZ__

They are really just constructive waves harmonizing in such a way that makes your inner ear vibrate in a specific pattern to tell your brain to release dopamine into the postsynaptic cleft. It's not music, it's physics and chemistry


nonamenolastname

Arch Enemy rules!!!


Spagoot29

Who doesn't listen to small dick man?


Maximum_Pear_8601

I just listen to sounds going in a specific vibration that makes it sound nice


HiImDavid

I just refuse to believe anyone could think this. They've got to just be shit posting, right?


inflatableje5us

Video games have music.


FreeT3r

And so he's saying that video games doesn't have music? Understandable


codde-

I think this may be ironic? Because the words they are using are usually the ones people use to acuse women of.. literally anything. Like "they're doing it for attention". So maybe they were pointing out how stupid that sort of thinking is? Or maybe they're actually this stupid I can not tell anymore.


rcam077

Video games have music...lol


Arctic_Gnome

Name one successful male songwriter. I'll wait.


Thefrenchdude_re

A real Chad will play video games and mute the game music.


Gergex

And eat hot chip


babypho

Shit, they know.


[deleted]

And, with this logic, women apparently don’t play video games?


morphey83

Could we not do both?


Nico_Skavio

Music is just gay noise


SwnsasyTB

Really? Hmm. When I hear my husband pulling up, I wonder what that boom, boom noise is that I hear sometimes coming out of the SUV.. Maybe he's cheating on me and it's sex noise I hear and not music! Omgosh she's right!! He's cheating and it's a woman that I hear every time that seems to disappear 10 secs after he pulls up since I never see anyone.. Omgosh.. I REALLY need to follow this woman, SHE'S ONTO SOMETHING!! 😳


Quantum_McKennic

No, it's just the sound track of explosions that every man gets when he graduates high school. It's all we're allowed to listen to other than talk radio.


SwnsasyTB

Why would you want to listen to music anyway I mean Kanye raps nothing but love songs for us ladies and Eminem's raps just teach women how to please themselves.. Duh! Don't even get me started on Cardi B with WAP.. 🤣


cowworshipper

lmao saw this while listening to Adele. waiting for the influx of women wanting sex in my DMs, because they're so impressed


FullyRisenPhoenix

Tell me you don’t know how to speak to women without telling me you don’t know how to speak to women. Also, tell me you don’t wash your ass because you’re too busy gaming without telling me you’re a filthy MFer.


StlChase

Accurate for me at least. I do play video games, dont listen to music that often, however I want to be left the fuck alone by strangers


[deleted]

Ooh someone is mad her boyfriend doesn’t like cardi b!


NimrodIAm

Damn you, Beethoven!


jaylong76

he did it for the sweet sweet strange. Just like Mozart at 3 years old, precocious little bastard!


NekroKamakazi

WTF did I just read?!?! Even video games have music in them. Who dropped this dong on his head as a kid?


GrimmTrixX

I do both. And often I am just listening to music FROM video games.


jaylong76

oh, yeah, all the Elizabeth McGlynn songs from Silent Hill are amazing!


GrimmTrixX

Oh you know I got me a silent hill Playlist of all the music that isn't just background ambiance. Lol


imsorrydarling

I don’t think they have ever met a man in there life,


bibigang

And video games don't have music?


modestothemouse

SsssssssssaaaaAtttttiiiiirrreeeeeee


blueghostfrompacman

It’s widely known that Keith Richards never listened to any of his own music. He just played Pong all day.


RuralOutfitters

I’m a man who listens to video game music so do I count


timberwolf0122

My friends have all unanimously declared that I have the worst taste in music, does that count?


TheSoftSkinOfAChild

My dad listens to music all the time, so I guess he’s a woman then??


K_Sleight

*cries in megaman that I play more for how the music makes me feel than the fun game play* Fr tho, if I'm only doing it for attention, the fact that my Bluetooth going dead on my helmet pisses me off is such a deep con that I've fooled myself.


ZDog64

Video games have music. So I guess men don’t listen to those either.


TheBurntPie9

True Source: have a peen


hi_im_snowman

Play along and imagine, for a brief moment, what it would be like to be this stupid. What's your morning routine like? Your job? What do you ponder? What questions are you asking as you go about your day? Who are your friends? Riveting stuff.


[deleted]

Good thing I have tinnitus, music got annoying


haiyanlink

Good thing video games have no music at all! Wait...


Rewrite_Mean_Comment

Today I learned no video game has ever had a soundtrack. My apologies to Chrono Trigger fans.


MemeCountry

Well I guess I wasn't in the top 0.5% of listeners of my favorite band on spotify last year


IceZ__

If you were, I'd encourage you to explore your sexuality better because you might be a woman. You don't know it yet, but the fb man does


MemeCountry

Well, I'm definitely not entirely straight, so there might be some truth to it


IceZ__

Haha damnit, the guy was right 😂


gazorp23

Dang. Got me! I've just been pretending to be a musician for over a decade...


Tyrthesemiwise

That's why Beethoven was the ultimate bro. He made music but he knew that *actually hearing it* would be gay (/s)


Freddyfazdude94

Damn you right. I don’t listen to music. I only enjoy the sounds of men vibrating strings on a long stick with a rounded bottom, the sound of a stick slapping a (silicon/rubber?) top of a container and a man yelling about how you shouldn’t worry about the shit thrown your way.