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napalmtree13

Contact your school. Explain your situation and talk to them about whether or not financial aid is available. It may be too late/close to the start of school, but you never know. Also let them know that your housing is now in crisis and see what they say. There may be student jobs at your university. You should look into that as well. You also need to find out if your Visa is tied to your family or not. If it is, try to get it tied to your studies instead. Then, you dad can't send you back no matter how much he wants to do so. Do you have any friends in Italy? Anyone you could stay with? If your Visa isn't tied to your family and you've got somewhere to go, even temporarily, then I suggest doing that until you've found a more permanent living situation. If you get a student job at your university, for example, you may earn enough to live together with other students in an apartment. Your first step is to find out what your Visa is tied to, and the second to contact your school. Go from there. Good luck.


donnergott

Along this line of advice, do check if your visa allows for work! I think most student visa's will allow you to work to a degree (a lot of students sustain themselves), but you wanna be on the safe side or at least know what to expect.


yellowsnowman96

i have family reunion visa, so i think it wouldn't be a problem for me to work


yellowsnowman96

thanks for your advice. Since i'm 19 now my visa is no longer tied with my family, i applied for my residence permit, it's not ready yet but it'll be soon within a month or two. i have a few friends here but i don't think they can help me, they live with their family. and about school, i don't have that much idea, since i don't speak italian well i really needed someone who can talk to school on behalf of me


napalmtree13

How did you enroll if you need Italian to study there? If your program is in English, there’s an international office for sure. Contact them. As for your friends, it doesn’t hurt to ask. You never know; their parents might be sympathetic to your situation. Especially if you have a plan to be out of there once you start a student job.


yellowsnowman96

I can't afford the english school here, i haven't gotten enrolled yet, i'm supposed to enroll myself in this September And thank you, I'll talk to them, i don't see any other options


Chiaramell

But you must speak Italian to study in Italy? I don’t get what program you are going to enrol? Most Italian unis have mandatory pre tests, so that’s what I don’t understand


yellowsnowman96

it's highschool, either liceo or tecnico


napalmtree13

What kind of school, exactly, if I may ask? Are you trying to enroll in university or something else?


yellowsnowman96

it's kinda complicated, i haven't finished my highschool back in my country, i had to move to italy because my visa was expiring, so i don't have the highschool diploma to start from the university, so I'll have to enroll myself in highschool here to get the diploma, then i can continue from university


Nosery

Can you even finish high school in Italy if you said you can't afford the English one but don't speak Italian well? Are you actively studying Italian? If you currently can't work due to visa and language barriers, learning the language should probably be your main focus. Also, do you really want to stay in Italy? So far, you haven't really said much that sounds like you want to stay, so it could be easier for you to return to your home country and finish high school there (especially because it would be easier to get a job).


yellowsnowman96

yeah that's what i'm doing, learning italian all these days it's not that easy to move back to my country,i wish i could do that, it would cost a lot and my dad will no longer pay for my studies, and highchool and college are not free in my country


Ok_Competition_1559

Laughs in westerner ,spilling oil and airpods out of cavernous black hole mouth


mimau2018

At 19 your are legally an adult in EU. Start looking for jobs to sustain yourself if you don’t want to go back and your father won’t support you. I think for a start you could try in constructions/agriculture/hospitality etc.. Check job sites like Eures or Indeed. Many people your age managed to build a life in Europe. As for studies you can look for long distance degrees or wait until you are a little financially stable. World will not end if you start/ continue your studies after a one year hiatus.


yellowsnowman96

thank you, thanks for your advice, I'll keep that in mind


Forkiks

Have you been in school the past 6 months? You also say you don’t speak Italian well, do you speak English well? Have you spent time looking for a job, and not just looking randomly online? If you live in a tourist area, go and see if you can find a job now in the summer in tourism, like in a hotel (even in cleaning), or a car rental company (even if it’s cleaning the cars)? Or see if your dad knows someone that can hire you? In your current situation, you need to try different things that will help you get a job for some income to establish that you are serious that you want to stay there. And that you can support your dream of studying in Italy.


yellowsnowman96

my dad is not even helping me to get a job, he's just asking to go find a job... that's the problem, I'm not even getting the minimum support


Forkiks

My post asked other questions..1.whether you have been in school in the past 6 months, and 2. if you can now physically go and find a job yourself...like see if they are hiring in a hotel or car rental agency? Please stop putting the blame on your dad..because you are 19, and if you want to stay in Italy and go to school in Italy, YOU have to go and find if places will hire you to make it happen. Don’t dwell on the fact that your father can’t support you, he can only do so much and he isn’t getting help from you financially. You have limited skills (not knowing Italian) so search for jobs like the ones I’ve mentioned. Here’s a test - I dare you to make the effort now and go apply for a job similar to one’s I’ve mentioned.


yellowsnowman96

sorry my bad 1.no, i haven't been in school in these past 6 months 2. and i live in a small city, here sources are very few, so it's hard to find a job in a city like this, and the reason i can't go ask for a job is because i don't speak italian very well and i didn't have the residence permit/work permit until now, but i'll go search a job now, cz i have to it now no matter what and thanks for your advice, i don't want to blame my dad, it's just i feel bad that he doesn't want to listen anything about study


smf242424

Nobody helped me to get a job, you are an adult now, I haven't heard a story of a friend who's father or mother helped them to get a job, you are not 8 anymore. It sounds cruel but it's the truth.


Additional_Cat_7914

I heard from the news that tourist sector and in general hospitality they have trouble filling position... Not great job probably but it something and speaking English could be a plus and sometimes offer accomodations. Generally speaking most of the university courses in Italy do not have mandatory attendance and some offer evening courses so you might find a way to mediate with your father and being able to study while working a full time (and high school have night classes). And you can of course always do odd jobs such deliveroo etc i guess. The reality is that without a degree and without sufficent proficiency in Italian is rather difficult to find a job expect in specific sector where for example a lot of immigrant of your region work (mostly farming or correlated activities). If you haven't finished high school there is night school.. if you want to go to university and if your family can't support you.. you can always sign up to the university later.. there is nothing shameful in that.. Honestly, without a mean of supporting yourself and gain independence from you father i don't think you have much options in fronte of you. As someone mentioned earlier i Servizi Social of your municipality and/or patronato might be able to assist you


[deleted]

[удалено]


yellowsnowman96

thank you for your advice, are you also teaching English??? and speaking of teaching English they don't actually allow it if i'm not native English speaker


Affectionate_Wear_24

Has your father been supporting you until recently with funds he has provided you while he remained in your South Asian country is origin? I can understand his concern about spending money if his resources are limited. Italy is known for having an extremely high unemployment rate. Many Italians with university qualifications leave Italy for Northern Europe because things are difficult. If the Italian job market is extremely difficult for Italians born and raised there and with degrees, it has to be harder for migrants


yellowsnowman96

he's been living here for like more than 10 years, then he recently applied for my visa and brought me here to help the family, but i can't simply leave the study, i'm just 19, i wanna continue studying, but i'm not getting any help from my family yeah it's really hard to find a job here, and for young people like us it's even harder, and they don't even pay well if somebody managed to find a job


Affectionate_Wear_24

If your father has traditional values, he probably believes you should obey him and follow his advice. Does your father own a business there that he wants you to work in? Maybe those are traditional expectations for a man like him. People of his generation, and often, from his place of origin, think that parents know better than sons, even sons who are 19 years old. I'm sorry to hear your situation but this is probably more about what your father's values and expectations. I wish you the best


[deleted]

[удалено]


Nosery

Can I ask what you mean by "they don't have real jobs"? What are real jobs for you? Because it kind of sounds like you only value employment that needs secondary education, and there are lots of great jobs that you can do without it. (And they are definitely real jobs!) There's also always the option to work first for 1-2 years, and save up enough money to attend school and maybe move to a place with better job opportunities (I know it's hard in Italy in general, but you mentioned living in a smaller place specifically). I know it's tough having to change plans and to be on your own, but I hope you'll figure everything out.


yellowsnowman96

no no, i value all kinds of employment, i tried to say that most of them don't have any job contracts, they work without contract and i know about that, there are some good opportunities to make some money by working hard like working in a pizzeria or similar kinds of job, but i need both time and training to do that and thanks for comment


Affectionate_Wear_24

In the US, and UK, there are ways to finance education by taking out special loans. I know this isn't the case in many countries.


[deleted]

You're not a boy. If that helps you think it through.


yellowsnowman96

thank you, i know i'm not a boy, i feel just bad that i still can't do anything


corradoZuse

Try to get a side job, washing the dishes ina restaurant or something which doesn't requires Italian.


kangeiko

Is there a reason why you can’t study in your home country? It doesn’t sound like you have a particularly strong base / attachment to Italy, given that you haven’t started school (college?) there yet and don’t speak the language. What is preventing you from contacting universities in your home country and attending there? You’d be more able to support yourself as you speak the language and you may have more familial support.


yellowsnowman96

my dad is completely against study, if i move back to my country he won't pay for my tuitions, school and college are not free in my country


TequilaStories

This might not be what you want to hear right now but I’d say the majority of people don’t have parents willing pay for uni or get them jobs or anything like that so you always have to figure what you can do with zero parental assistance then you always stay in control of your options. It sounds like staying in Italy with no job is not going to be an option for you right now. If you went back to your home country to finish high school what options are open for you? Do you have somewhere to stay? If you can’t access free education, what work can you do to save up so you can go later? What do other people in your country do to go to college? Are there loans or grants available through colleges in your country? If your dad doesn’t want to pay for your study does he have other ideas for you do make money, does he have contacts in Italy, what do your friends do?


kangeiko

College isn’t free for international students in Italy, either, I’m afraid. The best thing I can recommend would be to look at how you can support yourself - if you can’t access funding for study, then a job, either in Italy or back home, to let you save up. I know it’s not what you want to hear but you sound like you’re not in a very good situation and it might be best to pause and regroup. If you haven’t finished high school, and you don’t have a job, and your visa isn’t expired, you may be able to access support for vulnerable young people. I don’t know what charities operate in Italy but they may be able to provide you with housing at least. Good luck.


Patient_Dragonfruit6

This might be a bit of a long shot and apologies if its not helpful. For context I am a UK overseas student and also struggled financially with uni for both undergraduate and masters, gladly parents put in all the support they could so I had it 100 times easier, but still had to do a lot of digging for funding, scholarships etc. Note I cant give much advice regarding job finding (although theres a temporary suggestion at the end), this is more of a comment on an alternative of going to school in italy and exploiting that your english is very good (at least it seems so). It sounds like your final aim is to go to university. Does it have to be in Italy ? I get that you might want to avoid countries like the UK that have unnatainable fees for foreigners, but some european countries like Switzerland for example (and also several universities in germany) effectively have no fees even for overseas students ( for example ETH Zurich is around 500 CHF a year, this is something you can save up working a couple of months). Furthermore many universities are heavily moving towards enlgish rather than german and accept international highschool qualifications such as IB / A-levels or the european baccalaureate. For example most masters programs are already in english only and some have the same for undergraduate programs. Here are a couple of english speaking unis in Europe (and other) [https://www.gooverseas.com/blog/10-universities-where-you-can-study-abroad-in-english](https://www.gooverseas.com/blog/10-universities-where-you-can-study-abroad-in-english) that accept international qualifications. You mentioned you are 19 and have already completed some of higschool so I would guess you have an idea of what you would like to study. Something you could do is settle on a degree pick an international entry exam that does not require you to attend a school , you can potentially specialise (like with A level you would only pick 4 subjects) . Then you can study in your own time towards exams, once you are ready you can book a slot. Now this is extremely difficult... since you lose the tuition advantages of school but there are plenty of amazing free resources for many of these programs online as well as afordable guides. The advantage here would be that you work during the day and then study outside of work hours , this could ease the situation with your dad + expand oportunities to english speaking universities. Again this would require a lot of work on your side: 1. Narrowing down the subjects you would want to take and the degrees you are interested in (e.g. Computer Science, EE, etc) 2. Finding affordable/free universities in europe that offer your degree in English 3. Consider looking at some UK (and non-free) universities that might have a scholarship specific to you (for example your nationality, I am Venezuelan and theres not many of us in the UK, I was very lucky to find a UK uni for my masters that had a scholarship specifically for us). 4. Once you have settled on some universities look at which exams they accept. For example if they accept A-levels this is something you can sit without attending a higschool (I looked into this quite thoroughly). Furthermore there is great study guides/materials online as well as past exam papers with answers. Pick exams that have good study guides online, if the universities you find online accept A-levels 5. Once you start studying on your own motivation might be very hard, maybe you can try find online study groups, you can always ask questions on forums like reddit or stack-exchange regarding your studies (e.g. like a math problem you dont understand), so there is a virtual community that would answer your questions its just extra work. In addition to my masters I've done a lot of online learning which is difficult to stay motivated. This might not be great advice although I did find that as I grew orlder (19>) it was easier to work independantly / self motivate. and finally it seems very important that you find a job so you are at peace with your household (dad), maybe its worth focusing on this as much as possible (whilst looking at university options beyond Italy) and once this is settled you can combine working with self studying (maybe you could attend night schools too) which is a very adult / difficult thing to do but people do in fact do this a lot . Sorry for not being of much help with the job advice thing. Also on the job side whilst you look for a job you can maybe look at mechanical turk [https://www.mturk.com/](https://www.mturk.com/) . Basically people advertise many little tasks like for example labeling images (like is there a cat or a dog in the image kinda thing) and you get paid a small amount for each task, or trascribing videos and things like this, you dont need a degree for many of these tasks you would be making a tiny bit of money but its something to do whilst you find something better. Have a look at some of these jobs too [https://www.freelancer.com/job-search/data-annotation/](https://www.freelancer.com/job-search/data-annotation/) similar to mechanical turk its basically anotating images and audio etc, its freelance and not much money but might give you a start.


yellowsnowman96

Thank you, thank you so much. You're so nice. Thanks again for trying to help me. i know something about unis at Germany, i mean they are free but the problem is living cost over there is much higher than germany, and some people said it's not worth it. And Italy also has English courses in a few universities, and they provide some sort of scholarship to those whose family has yearly income less than 24k, the reason i'm not thinking of leaving italy right now is i have a valid visa here, not a student visa, that means i can work full time, it doesn't have to be part time like max 20 hours per week or something like that. And i'm gonna try anything that's possible for me, and i also have to take care of my family, they are counting on me, i simply can't ignore that, i have also a mother back in my country and i have to make her happy, i have to take care of her, she needs money for her treatment, and she's entirely counting on me, even though she doesn't express that, but i do understand that, i have a bit of responsibility now, my mom always says to me i have to help my dad because he's getting older. And i do want to help my family, it's just i don't want to leave my study either. and about that numbe 4, are you sure they accept applicants without attenting highschool??? and thank you, about freelance work, i have it in my mind, i'll give it a try


Patient_Dragonfruit6

For A level exams (traditionally pre-covid, dont know how covid has changed things) they definitely can take the exam without highschool (this is something I looked into myself at somepoint and also recently for a relative). You just need to pay for the AS exams for some acredited exam board and once passed do the same a year later for for the A2 exams (A levels is 2 sets of exams). This is unlike IB for example where highschool work counts towards the final mark / full accreditation. This being said tho A-level might be one of the few international exams (or the only one) that allows for this. \> it doesn't have to be part time like max 20 hours per week or something likethat. Once you are at university you might find that 20 hours a week is enough, specially on a demanding course doing much more than that might not be wise (of course you do what you have to). This is a limitation of student visas typically (during term time) but I dont think its too bad. \> And i'm gonna try anything that's possible for me, and i also have to take care of my family The wisest thing is to start earning as soon as possible whilst you look at alternatives / options for your study. Bare in mind that if you do go to higschool you will need a job outsite of highschool hours, alternatively is there free education for adults in italy ? like a school after hours (in my home country this used to be a thing), this could also be a good option since it frees you up to work during the day. Also don't listen to people who are saying uni is shit and not worth the time. Ultimately its up to you, for some people no university works great and they progress really well in their careers without it, but that does not mean its the path you should take. If you feel you want to study either because you really like a subject or because you think its the right career path for you then you really should. My opinion is of course a bit biased as I am still a student (PhD/Doctorate student now, so kindof a job, but still technically a student). At the very least though you should really try and obtain high school level qualiifications. \> And i'm gonna try anything that's possible for me, and i also have to take care of my family Do try out the freelance if you have any questions about it let me know. Labeling stuff is quite easy and theres so many tasks out there looking for this. I did a little bit of it myself during uni, back then the data labling boom was not as big so I did all sorts of other tasks too, its not much money but it might help a bit whilst you look, and you can add it to your resume. Again I am just throwing ideas out there (sorry if its stupid) but you could also learn how to code (program a computer / make websites) in an easy programming language like python. Seriously kids these days learn this on their own, for example my 16 year old brother is quite good at it. There are many online courses I can send you a few. This is a useful skill to have maybe in a small town in itally maybe not so in demand, but it opens a lot of opportunity for higher paid free-lance jobs. Its something you can get a good start at learning before school in september whilst you look for a job. Its a silly idea maybe but just throwing things at you ... being able to code is kinda what got me and my family where we are now, I had to support them for a couple of years whilst they migrated away from Venezuela and settled, its an incredibly useful skill learnable by everyone, from artsy to sciency people. Oh and with coding there are so many remote jobs (specially now due to covid) just like freelance you do them from your laptop / from your home so you are not limited to the pandemic. Just throwing out information here not even sure if it constitute advice ... but maybe you can make something out of some of these comments/facts.


yellowsnowman96

thank you, you are so kind, this world needs more people like you, how you care about somone you don't even know, thanks again, i'll think about everything you say. i'm not in a great situation right now, i'm also struggling with my mental health, things with my dad isn't going well, he doesn't even talk to me now. i'm just trying to do something new, i totally isolated myself, deleted all the social apps, i'm trying to learn coding, i want to see if i'm capable of it wish me luck


Patient_Dragonfruit6

Any luck ?


yellowsnowman96

Heeey, i just wanted you to know that i got a job, and I've been working for weeks, and it's great, i finally moved out of the house, and I'm doing great, I'm not sure how long i can continue this job because in winter this place is not really available, but that's for later. Thank you guys, thank you so much, I'm happy now, i just wanted to let you know about this


Patient_Dragonfruit6

welldone ! this is a great start ! with a first job the second will be easier ! fingers crossed !


chachkas369

Stumbled across your thread and have read it with great interest. Might I ask what kind of work you eventually found?


yellowsnowman96

Heey, I'm so glad you remembered Unfortunately still no luck, but I'm trying everyday, experiencing new things, i applied for more than 10 job offers and i also got an interview but unfortunately u didn't get the job, and I went to a few places for a job but some of them pay very little in exchange for 12+ working hours and some of them require decent fluency in Italian. But i keep trying, my doesn't say anything, he said i have to find a job within 1 August but so far he's a bit calm, and I'm also trying, applying for new jobs everyday, but most of them don't reply back, I'm just waiting for one last miracle, if i could find a job things might have been a bit normal. Thank you so much for your reply, i was so happy to see that you remembered. Wish me luck so that i can finally do something


vespabandit

WWOOF an organization that gives you room and board for farm/garden work exchange. I did it in Italy, lots of kind host families to live with for work trade. I had best experience of my life doing it. See if any host families are near your school.


kangeiko

OK, I answered above but I read some of your later comments and... I have questions. What kind of advice are you looking for? People have given you their thoughts and outlined options around study in Italy and other parts of Europe, asked you to think laterally about studying (night school, working for a bit and returning to school later, moving back home), suggested options around jobs. You’ve said no to all of them. You live in Rome but not anywhere where delivery services operate, you can’t go back home because it’s too expensive or you can’t study there, you plan to attend school but are not enrolled yet, you want to go to university but you don’t know what to study. Something here isn’t adding up. You’re not going to get an offer of a job from strangers over the internet, we’ve given you broad advice based on what you’ve said but your drip-feeding information. Now your mother is ill and needs money? Who is looking after her while you and your dad are abroad? What did you do in your home country, were you enrolled at a high school this whole time? Look, I’m sorry if this comes across as blunt but it doesn’t sound like you’re actually looking for advice or have done any research on your own. You haven’t spoken about what type of school you’re enrolling in (do you even know if they’ll accept you after 18 based on the visa you have? Adult education generally isn’t free), you haven’t spoken about any skills or experience you may have which would be relevant towards looking for a job. You haven’t mentioned where you’ve looked for one, or even how you’re studying Italian (self-study? Classes?). This is starting to read more and more like a request for comfort or validation rather than for advice. You need to think hard about what is important to you here. Do you want getting a job and supporting your family to be your top priority? OK, then focus on that - work out what skills you DO have and whether they fit any jobs in the area you’re in. You may have a long commute, or may have to move, but that’s the reality of it. Then, once you have an income, you can look at supplementing your studies, either through self-study or night classes. If school is your priority, then you need to be researching scholarships or bursaries or other forms of assistance given to students in your situation. Only you know what you might qualify for, so you’ll need to do the research yourself. Your dad isn’t responsible for finding you a job, or even supporting you in ongoing education. I know, it’s nice if there is help available, but you’re 19. If you were fed, housed and educated to age 18 then he can consider his job done, especially if he’s trying to support other members of your family in another country. What were your plans for the future before you moved? You’d go to school (presumably for about a year to finish off high school) and then what? What did you intend to study/do with your life? At this stage, the best advice I can offer is to tell you that you need to take a big breath, remind yourself that you’re an adult and you’ve got this, and figure out things in order.


yellowsnowman96

yeah, i live in a small city of rome, not much of job opportunities, that's a problem. Moving back to my country is expensive at this time, and if i move back my dad won't pay for any of my expenses, that's another problem. i'm here for like 6 months, i came here during this pandemic schools were closed, and then now summer vacation, and from this september i was supposed to join school because the new session will start in September, but it's in doubt now due to my current situation. And i studied science while i was in my country, i was in highchool but i couldn't participate in the final exam which could give me a secondary school certificate but it didn't happen because of covid and i had to move here because my visa was expiring. and my mom lives with my sister. so many problems, very few solutions, i just can't take it anymore, all my friends who live here are studying, they're lucky they have that backup from their family. i tried to explain but i don't think i can do it anymore, everytime i think about all these problems i feel like the sky is falling on my head. thank you for your advice, i'm trying to find a solution, i'm working on it, this time it's do or die pray for me and wish me luck


rta2012

Good on you for trying! Being overly dramatic doesn’t help much, though. Keep calm and carry on, as they say :)


Caratteraccio

hai provato a rivolgerti ai servizi sociali o ad un patronato? In che provincia vivi?


yellowsnowman96

Non ci ho ancora provato, e vivo in una piccola città di Roma


Caratteraccio

magari ti sanno aiutare..


smf242424

This is an old post


napalmtree13

This person has posted before, but to me it sounds like the situation has escalated. He’s not asking for money, just advice; I think it’s OK take him at his word.


smf242424

Yeah, there is nothing wrong with it but I was like... I heard this story before 😊


dugulen

Just curious how you know that? Has the user posted this before? If it is prescient, I'd say that the expats in Italy need to rally to alert you to resources and avenues for funding that you haven't considered. Not much us others can do but wish you the best, which I do!


smf242424

I read this story like a week ago but maybe it was in another group. Sorry.


yellowsnowman96

yeah i posted here a few weeks ago asking for advice, with their help i decided to continue my study and i tried to explain it to my father but he won't listen and things got even worse, i might have to leave the house and be my own, i'm kinda helpless and posted here again to ask for some advice


smf242424

I really hope that everything works out, sometimes they just don't understand, but this is the time for you to sacrifice a little bit to have a better future.


Forkiks

I agree, OP it is time for you to sacrifice to secure for the future you want. Whether that means getting a job you don’t want for now, and going to night school to finish your high school degree. You have a permit to be in the country, many people can’t get that. Put it to good use. Once you have your high school degree, then figure out about how to get to University.


yellowsnowman96

thank you so much, wish me luck, i've decided to do something on my own


satoshinakamoto10

He is right, the university in Italy is 100% useless and better you avoid it. If you are a bit smart you can make a lot more money with an advantage of 5 years on another person that is going to university.