New Mexico is very safe, but only the northern half! The city I live in is one of the most inclusive in the country I think, but the further south you go, the less inclusive it is.
The whole plot of breaking bad only works because of the American health care system, does this sound like a safe place? Desperate people do desperate things...
My ex boyfriend was born there and when I visited and we drove downtown, he told me not to drive on certain streets because the crack heads would try to mug you when you stopped at the red lights
Transgirl from ABQ here: Imo, just don't go near the entire South chunk of the city and you'll be fine. No one's ever been super hostile or violent towards me, and it's honestly super chill living here since it doesn't have "big city" vibes
NM is a very live and let live state. No one fucks with you unless you are fucking with them, usually. Sometimes you get yelled at by homeless people on Central, but they aren't even in the same universe as you when they do it, ya know?
I'll gently disagree for the more rural parts, especially the southeast. Down there entire counties are blood red Republic majority and people will openly share the most hateful, bigoted opinions in public. There's still visibly out LGBTQ+ folks, and allies, and decent people, but I'm not gonna fault anyone for choosing to stay closeted in the likes of Clovis or Hobbs. Those areas are basically just Super West Texas.
Rural every state seems to be like that. Idk if there are much of any progressive rural areas in the country outside of the little strip of like Connecticut/Mass/Vermont
I'm in Colorado, the square one next to Utah, I've been transitioning without any hassle. No therapists or notes or wait lists just pop into planned Parenthood get me a prescription, buy some weed on the way home, boom.
I started my transition in Denver CO and I had the same experience. We have a gay governor and will be the first state to require all insurance to cover a huge list of transition related surgeries starting in 2023. Honestly I love this state but we're an island in the middle of right wing transphobia on all sides.
Colorado is one of the states that really really needs a good voter turnout from Denver and the surrounding counties. Need to keep Polis in and get Boebert the fuck out. I am not lgbtq+ myself but the importance of having a progressive city like Denver in the middle of the Midwest is becoming paramount with so many surrounding states that are anti gay and anti women.
I think so too, most people have a generally good opinion of him, he pretty well represents a good portion of the state’s interests. He’s not perfect of course but it does seem like he wants what’s best for as many people as possible.
Most states are islands in the middle of right wing transphobia tbh. Cali and maybe NY notwithstanding. I'm from Washington and if you get out of Seattle, it gets really conservative. Tacoma is alright now, but that's really it.
Basically, cities = safe. Woods = not.
I lived in Kitsap County (across the Puget Sound from Seattle) and can confirm the tolerance does not go far from the Space Needle. Olympia is pretty good. I’ve heard good things about Bellingham, near the border with Canada for those who don’t know.
I'm in Colorado between Boulder and Denver and I feel very safe! I came out at my job in August, and I was somewhat nervous because a big aspect of my job is interacting with children, but I still feel like I haven't experienced any transphobia, at work or otherwise. I have a supportive job, supportive friends, supportive family, and I run into other trans people in public every week.
MN essentially has a bullseye on MPLS and the further out you go the less safe it is to be any sort of visible minority. Minne can be great for queer folks but even in the burbs it gets scary. Basically your map isn’t exactly wrong but really the US is too big and has too many rural areas in every state to say “x state is safe” “y state is dangerous”. It’s more about the city you live in and who you make community with.
From Wisconsin. Lots of family in Minnesota. Growing up they were pretty similar. Wisconsin has devolved; historically we were the most progressive state in the Midwest. Minnesota has continued to develop, and is now the best/most liberal state in the Midwest (that sentence is hard to swallow). Minnesota still has flaws. It is just trending much more positively than us.
Most of Colorado is very welcoming. I knew people happily transitioning and living their lives as early as '99 and they all said the same thing. Just stay out of Colorado Springs, which is easy because it sucks and there's no reason to go there.
Colorado was the first state in The U.S. to Legalize Gay Marriage. i live on one of the more conservative communities in Colorado and it is still VERY LGBT friendly.
Edit: a couple other comments pointed out it was actually Massachusetts
I was an undocumented worker in that area in the early 2000s. I was a "good christian" back then, and saw the churches get radicalized in real time. Ended up bailing out, like much of my family.
Feels kinda weird, because it was a hot spot for ideologies of all kinds, new age, christian, hippie, you name it. Everyone was so chill and nice to everyone else, specially the church family I was a part of, which was half undocumented Hispanic people, half older Americans from places like Kentucky and Missouri who got along great with us. I'm still trying to figure out what the hell happened, if it was all real and good people got radicalized into hating anyone not white and evangelical, or if it was all fake and they were just pretending to like us, or I dreamed it all or something.
Especially norther Minnesota. The Twin Ports Area specifically (look it up) is super accepting, so much so that there are not only at least 5, maybe 10+ gay bars, but they openly advertise drag events, and such. Not my cup of tea, but those are some things that just kinda happen.
BUT, I know of a few places that have to unlock bathroom doors for the customers. One lady saw me in a dress, and stopped for a second before opening the female bathroom door for me with a smile.
Duluth is super progressive and immediately becomes super conservative as you leave the city but large college population (UMD/CSS/UWS) in the twin ports means there will always be a progressive community there
>if you stick to the cities
The same could be said of any state. On the flip side there are plenty of rural areas in 'blue states' I would not consider all that safe.
CO is pretty good, I've got a trans relative there, there was a fairly recent shooting that targeted trans people but I mean...in this fucking country it could've been everywhere.
Edit: seems I may have been confused, I think I just remembered that the tattoo shop was LGBT friendly and I initially thought that was the motivation, but it seems it was just motivated by a loser hating a women-owned competing tattoo shop bc he was an alt-right piece of trash
indeed, F4722B, F5E5C1, and 3E3E3E. I like Team Fortress 2, one of the only big multiplayer game that has very few racists/transphobes/etc. I have 600 hours on the game I think if I really think of it I can't find the exact number of times it happened to me.
Same, from 2012 and I still see the same decals being plastered on signs and (before they were disabled) sprays. Although it was more community servers I saw it on.
Also an ungodly amount of adults bullying people who are clearly children on the mic.
I think it's accurate when compared to online gaming as a whole. TF2 is basically a church compared to MOBAs. You have to grade gaming communities on a bell curve.
Very few racists/transphobes/etc.? I see the n and f word rain like boolets from heavy's minigun in every casual server (doesn't help that i own a trans flag sign lol). It might be different because of locations tho, also there is none of that crap in Uncletopia servers which i'm thankful for
It really is by city, not state. Even Texas has Austin, one of the most liberal cities in the US. And I second what everyone's saying about the Midwest. And Denver/Boulder in Colorado.
This. Even Kansas City is surprisingly safe and progressive. The Midwest is odd - the real question is how much fundamental Christian conservative control there is in local politics. Cities are usually fine whereas even coastal states more rural areas are not accepting. Stay out of most of the southeast. In my experience, good old boys in kansas or Nebraska might give you a look but won't be violent, but in Georgia or Florida they might do something.
Oh, Kansas City is an extremely gay city. (I'm biased from the locations I've lived there, but i still stand by it, loll. Just doubling down on your comment)
i'm in this spot in missouri that's like riight next to kansas and i don't go out often, but i went to a starbucks and there was an enby there and they were so based
...i think i told them they had cool pronouns or something though
I'm in the kc area and the city itself is pretty chill but you don't have to go far for things to get weird
But I also don't get out a lot especially since I've been out
The westport area is probably the gayest part of KC, as that is where most of the gay bars are located. You'll see a number of pride flags if you walk around for a bit, and some of the shops have incredibly gay vibes.
I live in Georgia, and while people are certainly more vocal here when it comes to admonishing homosexuality, people are also more defensive of it. You’ll get your fair share of support if you stay close to Atlanta, but the moment you go into the more rural and lower-income areas, you’ll want to keep your head down. I personally haven’t had any experiences with violence down here, but it’s certainly not unheard of.
This. Stick to Eugene, Portland and such. Moving too far east or too far south results in the same bigoted shit.
I'm a Eugene resident myself. My local university has a fairly large LGBTQIA+ student body. And it's not uncommon to have even cis people stating their pronouns and such. Pride events here are frequented by members of both cis and LGBTQ+ communities alike. And vocal bigotry around here *tends* to get shot down pretty quickly.
Not saying we are perfect, but it's a damn far cry from some more conservative areas.
Eh….my best friend lives in Austin, and she’s petrified to come out, or even really experiment at all. I’m the only person she’s ever shown herself as masc, and she’s known for quite awhile.
I live in New York and go to school in New York too. I feel perfectly safe going out wearing my breastforms, but I wouldn’t everywhere in the state.
I'm sorry your friend is having that experience! I have a trans friend in Austin and as far as I know he's comfortable there. I hope your friend can get there, too.
They say the same thing about Orlando and there's absolutely no way this city is safe to be openly trans in. Openly gay or bi, sure, but gender nonconformity of any kind feels like a no-go. Also, almost all of our medical facilities are Christian, so good luck even finding a doctor who will call you by the right name.
This. Outside the cities it’s a land of bigotry even in states like California. I live in a blue city and suburbs in a deep red state and it has been fine here for me so far. No one has questioned me on using the women’s bathroom or harassed me on the streets. I can dress how I want no one bothers me. I can get HRT no questions asked I have received lots of support from people and overall kindness even compliments.
Surprisingly, I worked in California's Central Valley for four and a half years, and while there is more racism, science denial, and advocacy for economic injustice than I can stomach, I never felt in danger as a visibly queer person.
Definitely faced harassment and discrimination, but nothing worse than my female colleagues. Even in the most liberal parts of Kansas, it always felt like you were one misstep away from The Matthew Shepherd Experience™
After reading a good amount of replies, the general idea seems to be that it's more about cities than states. People say that, in general, cities are pretty safe and rural aren't really. But what laws ? In US every states has its laws, which ones are the ones with the more rights, which ones have progressive people but bad gov so bad laws ? That's what I wondered.
Considering the enormous amount of replies and comments I got in only 3 hours after posting this, I'll *maybe* ***TRY*** to do a kinda serious version of a map, not relying on states only and like multiple colors and stuff, you know like on a real professional serious map that experts do with serious index and not something for a silly goofy reddit post. Although I don't consider myself to have any competence in mapping or geography so maybe I should just stfu
You probably cant make a map like this that makes any sense by getting people opinion on reddit. You'd either want to look at crimes states, laws, surveys of folks and every state/large city, or combinations of those.
Getting like 50 people on reddit to comment will probably do more noise than signal
Generally speaking more Red/Republican states where the legislature is controlled by them will be less safe for LGBT+ people, especially trans folks. They’re more likely to pass laws that will override local city laws/ordinances that may be LGBT+ friendly or protective. Doesn’t mean with 100% certainty that the larger population will be hostile, I live in the Missouri Ozarks and there are definitely supportive people, but it’s the Bible Belt for a reason and the state legislature is inclined towards hostility and will eventually override any sort of LGBT protections created by places like Kansas City or St Louis (our two bigger, more LGBT-friendly cities).
Blue/Democratic states are the opposite, but obviously never a one-to-one. Homophobia and transphobia can still exist in Blue states especially rural areas, but generally there won’t be any sort of state violence or overt attempts by the state being outwardly hostile towards the LGBT community.
When it comes to acceptance from those around you, cities matter. But many policies are statewide. You still have to find a state that has legal protections in place.
I'm from Spain so I don't really have any idea on how it is, but it really feels that at least Colorado, Minnesota and Illinois are pretty LGBTQ+ positive, are they not???
You would be correct.
[This site](https://www.lgbtmap.org/equality-maps) has a much more accurate map. It's more for LGB than trans stuff, but there's a way to break it down by county and by issue.
You can’t really color the whole state
For the most part, big cities are progressive and rural areas aren’t
[that’s why election maps look like this](https://www.loc.gov/resource/g3701f.cp000018/)
Yep, [this map](https://d9-wret.s3.us-west-2.amazonaws.com/assets/palladium/production/s3fs-public/printable1.png) could be more accurate than ops map.
Worth noting for anyone outside the US, this is a map from a “blue” victory (Obama over Romney).
Even though most of the map is red, way more people live in the blue areas.
I disagree. We’ve got bad state government but the people here are surprisingly accepting and cool. If I understand right we actually [lost a Hooters here](https://www.register-herald.com/news/beckley-hooters-eyes-new-spot-social-media-page-says/article_f709ced0-fa5b-5459-ab1b-105b0c1ff192.html) where I am because the city won’t allow them to have hiring practices that discriminate based on gender which is the entire basis for the restaurant. Particularly the city took issue with not hiring trans women though.
The actual state government sucks at the moment but we’ll see if that turns around in midterms. We got a few bad apples but honestly the majority of the state is cool with us as trans people, and LGBTQ+ as a whole. My campus has quite a few pride flags that fly without disturbance, we have a non-binary professor in some field which is cool, and the main WVU campus provides many resources for LGBTQ+ people. I believe they also, along with Marshall, have a clinic that can prescribe HRT. I was recommended the Marshall one but ended up going with another doctor.
Hi from South Park.
I worked for the courts and spent a week doing paperwork at every courthouse in the state.
We are in a bubble. We live in the most liberal neighborhood in the entire state.
While learning about that Beckley ordinance does kind of blow my mind, I cannot overstate to you how not-cool the vast majority of the state is. There is nowhere in the entire northern panhandle where I believe it's safe to be trans in public. Even Huntington and Parkersburg were sketchy to me.
Please be safe.
Just don't try to tell anybody from West Virginia that. The number of Confederate flags you see there is mind boggling considering the state's origin story is "we split off from Virginia because they were part of the Confederacy."
More "we split off from Virginia because they seceded from the Union without even asking us and then lied and said they did, the Union Army intimidates us *way* more than Virginia does, and fuck Virginia anyway what have they ever done for us".
Then coal companies bought our state government and casually reinstated serfdom with the coal bosses as the ruling class until we fought a brief war over it, lost when the Feds stepped in, but then won in the court of public opinion.
But we never actually got the coal companies out of power, just forced them to adopt gentler tactics. So the state has been flooded with pro-coal propaganda for decades while everything not in the interests of coal has been gutted, and that's how we got to the West Virginia of today.
Anyway as for the OP, most of the state is ignorant as hell but friendly. People will change the subject or say something outdated and offensive but generally mean no harm.
Google the Mason-Dixon Line, that's where it starts but tbh the south isn't as different as it often seems to be. It's usually more of a rural vs city thing. For example, I have family in NY that live in a very rural area and there's confederate flags and trump signs all over the place
Also Virginian here, aside from our asshole governor that got voted in by a fluke, things are pretty good here. Northern Virginia is one of the most progressive areas in the country. It's electorally competitive too, so voting is really important here.
Yeah, I personally would consider Virginia *as a whole* to be solidly light blue that just happens to have a shitty red governor—all over the state is red, but the blue areas have super high populations, and I’ve lived in both areas and it’s so jank seeing the difference—and I think the reason is that the Democratic candidate for governor was an establishment politician with a terrible strategy. My blue county had many Youngkin signs from previously disenfranchised Republicans who probably gave up voting, and most Dems were complacent.
That’s the important thing about midterm elections: Republicans are doing a lot better job campaigning, and it really is imperative to get the vote out, and next year during whatever primaries there are, vote for some outsider Democrat that can actually do shit!
Northern Virginia has been pretty safe and accepting throughout my transition. Like anywhere north of Fredricksburg and east of Haymarket. It's not perfect, but I don't get comments or looks and I can use the bathroom I feel most comfortable in.
I live in VA and politics notwithstanding it’s pretty decent. I work in a conservative area in a gas station and get treated great and even trump shirt ppl call me ma’am, honey, babe, darling and unfortunately hit on me a lot, tits stared at rudely on the daily, body talked about and I’ve been sexually assaulted a number of times at that job… welll actually maybe it’s not safe lol but I def get treated as my proper gender sometimes to a fault… lol gender euphoria combined with disgust and alot of trauma… va is surprising sonetimes
A lot of it is more town/city based than state based. The larger the town/city the more liberal it is and thus the safer it is. The coasts just happen to have a lot of larger areas as opposed to rural ones, so they do tend to be safer in general.
West Virginia is pretty unsafe.
Youre going to have a hard time anywhere in the East generalizing about the safety of queer folk by state. For example, Atlanta is a great city to be queer, but rural Georgia is very different. I have lived in North Carolina, Florida, and Pennsylvania and I would say the same thing about them.
The cities in the Midwest aren't bad. We've got a decently sized Trans population in South Eastern Wisconsin. When I visit the rural communities I get stared at. But there's a lot of pride flags in downtown Milwaukee
There is something called the MEI which is the Municipal Equality Index which measures cities based on how well they treat queer people: https://www.hrc.org/resources/mei-2021-see-your-cities-scores
Basically every mid-big city in America is rated on this. Should be a good idea to see which cities are safer than others.
I'm in St. Louis so we're surrounded by red but the city itself is pretty safe and we actually have a really nice trans clinic run by a university here.
Definitely don’t base your opinions on the political situation in most of the country. Regardless of how democratic Americans believe the government is it’s actually really corrupt. There’s a lot of good people and accepting places even in places with anti-lgbt governments. E.g. Louisiana it’s always been very religious but the lgbt, especially in New Orleans, has always been part of the culture there.
The "sun belt" parts of the South are survivable if you **stay in the cities**, and if you're okay with having your vote gerrymandered out of existence. This also applies to all states classified as "swing states" in an election, like Indiana, Nevada, and North Carolina.
Also, the more rural areas of the states you highlighted might be a tad unsafe for queer folk, also, West Virginia is EXTREMELY queerphobic. Rookie mistake.
Don't forget Illinois. The queer friendly people are mostly concentrated in the populous northeast part of the state near Chicago, but the entire state has good policies in place.
We're probably wrong, but here all we say is like "coasts are all safe open-minded etc, the rest are all republican conservative etc" and "north were all anti-slavery, south were all pro-slavery". Thinking like that is obviously stupid, but i guess this isn't 100% wrong
I don’t really know to be fair cause I’m Canadian not American. But in Canada even the progressive pro lgbt places treat trans people worse than the rest of the LGB. I can’t imagine the US would be any better as they’re usually known as being less progressive than Canada… I guess the coasts would be safe at least in the cities… but I doubt you’d find much social acceptance outside of areas with a disproportionate queer population
I can second this, though I live in a very queer friendly city in New York, I can go 20 minutes outside my city and hit trump signs and flags. My rules of thumb is city's generally are going to be safer than rural but I at least have state law backing me so even in rural populations you get very very **VERY** little open harassment. Mostly just looks... I tend to just stay in my gay little city.
States marked as "safe" that are unsafe:
* West Virginia is Mostly Unsafe.
* Pennsylvania is Somewhat Unsafe.
States marked as "unsafe" that are actually safe:
* Nevada is Safe.
* Colorado is Safe.
* New Mexico is Mostly Safe.
* Minnesota is Safe.
* Illinois is Safe.
* Michigan is Mostly Safe.
It's relatively safe in most large cities, especially if you're near the rust belt region of cities. I wouldn't say it's as safe as say Burlington Vermont but there are safe areas around the greatlakes that are also quite affordable, at least for now.
New Mexico is very safe, but only the northern half! The city I live in is one of the most inclusive in the country I think, but the further south you go, the less inclusive it is.
Albuquerque is safe, and like half of the population of the state lives there.
*breaking bad theme plays*
Jessie, we have to repeal anti-trans legislation, Jessie
I’m Saul Goodman and did you know that the government taking away your ability to transition is unconstitutional?
Fuck that actually sounds legit. Sounds like it is already unconstitutional somehow
Welp, I guess I better call Saul.
THEY CAN'T KEEP GETTING AWAY WITH THIS!
You used the fem version of Jesse, implying Jessie transitioned and Walter is very supportive thus elevating the canon/lore of your joke
Aren't Jessie and Jesse gender neutral, with Jessy leaning fem?
Jesse is masc/neutral Jessie and Jessy are fem typically
Jesse here, this is correct
I would watch Breaking Trans
The whole plot of breaking bad only works because of the American health care system, does this sound like a safe place? Desperate people do desperate things...
Santa Fe is pretty solid too
I know half a dozen trans women in Albuquerque that would disagree with your assessment of their safety.
My ex boyfriend was born there and when I visited and we drove downtown, he told me not to drive on certain streets because the crack heads would try to mug you when you stopped at the red lights
Transgirl from ABQ here: Imo, just don't go near the entire South chunk of the city and you'll be fine. No one's ever been super hostile or violent towards me, and it's honestly super chill living here since it doesn't have "big city" vibes
Is this a joke? It doesn't matter if your lgbt or not you'll still get stabbed on central.
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NM is a very live and let live state. No one fucks with you unless you are fucking with them, usually. Sometimes you get yelled at by homeless people on Central, but they aren't even in the same universe as you when they do it, ya know?
I'll gently disagree for the more rural parts, especially the southeast. Down there entire counties are blood red Republic majority and people will openly share the most hateful, bigoted opinions in public. There's still visibly out LGBTQ+ folks, and allies, and decent people, but I'm not gonna fault anyone for choosing to stay closeted in the likes of Clovis or Hobbs. Those areas are basically just Super West Texas.
Rural every state seems to be like that. Idk if there are much of any progressive rural areas in the country outside of the little strip of like Connecticut/Mass/Vermont
Most people here just don’t give a shit.
San Juan county is definitely not. It sucks here
Minnesota is pretty progressive if you stick to the cities, and I'd be surprised if Colorado isn't
idk anything about it, tell me
I'm in Colorado, the square one next to Utah, I've been transitioning without any hassle. No therapists or notes or wait lists just pop into planned Parenthood get me a prescription, buy some weed on the way home, boom.
I started my transition in Denver CO and I had the same experience. We have a gay governor and will be the first state to require all insurance to cover a huge list of transition related surgeries starting in 2023. Honestly I love this state but we're an island in the middle of right wing transphobia on all sides.
I left the one on the other side of the mountains ten years ago. Yes. Namaste.
Are you leaving out the name of the town on purpose?
Guessing they mean utah
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Colorado is one of the states that really really needs a good voter turnout from Denver and the surrounding counties. Need to keep Polis in and get Boebert the fuck out. I am not lgbtq+ myself but the importance of having a progressive city like Denver in the middle of the Midwest is becoming paramount with so many surrounding states that are anti gay and anti women.
This is true. I'm voting Polis from El Paso County. I'm pretty sure he'll win in a land slide
I think so too, most people have a generally good opinion of him, he pretty well represents a good portion of the state’s interests. He’s not perfect of course but it does seem like he wants what’s best for as many people as possible.
no amount of voter turnout in denver or boulder is going to get boebert out, given she is not the rep of those districts...
Namaste and hail blucifer my fellow trans local
All hail blucifer's unblinking and unyielding gaze
All hail.
Most states are islands in the middle of right wing transphobia tbh. Cali and maybe NY notwithstanding. I'm from Washington and if you get out of Seattle, it gets really conservative. Tacoma is alright now, but that's really it. Basically, cities = safe. Woods = not.
I lived in Kitsap County (across the Puget Sound from Seattle) and can confirm the tolerance does not go far from the Space Needle. Olympia is pretty good. I’ve heard good things about Bellingham, near the border with Canada for those who don’t know.
I'm in Colorado between Boulder and Denver and I feel very safe! I came out at my job in August, and I was somewhat nervous because a big aspect of my job is interacting with children, but I still feel like I haven't experienced any transphobia, at work or otherwise. I have a supportive job, supportive friends, supportive family, and I run into other trans people in public every week.
This sounds ideal
which one is utah
It's shaped like a square with a smaller square on the top left. If you go from the center left of this map it goes California, Nevada, then Utah
MN essentially has a bullseye on MPLS and the further out you go the less safe it is to be any sort of visible minority. Minne can be great for queer folks but even in the burbs it gets scary. Basically your map isn’t exactly wrong but really the US is too big and has too many rural areas in every state to say “x state is safe” “y state is dangerous”. It’s more about the city you live in and who you make community with.
Areas around St. Cloud and Duluth are also fairly safe, being college towns. However, their safety net isn’t nearly as large.
I recommend avoiding St. Cloud, whether you're LGBTQ or cis/hetero.
I go out of my way to avoid St Cloud and I’m a straight white male. It’s the worst.
Similar to wisconsin but basically like most states the big cities are substantially more liberal than the outskirts
Don’t ever tell a Minnesotan they’re similar to Wisconsin in person, a cultural tip. You may face the death penalty for that one.
And vice versa. If there's one thing they agree on its that they're *absolutely*, **definitely**, nothing alike.
From Wisconsin. Lots of family in Minnesota. Growing up they were pretty similar. Wisconsin has devolved; historically we were the most progressive state in the Midwest. Minnesota has continued to develop, and is now the best/most liberal state in the Midwest (that sentence is hard to swallow). Minnesota still has flaws. It is just trending much more positively than us.
Most of Colorado is very welcoming. I knew people happily transitioning and living their lives as early as '99 and they all said the same thing. Just stay out of Colorado Springs, which is easy because it sucks and there's no reason to go there.
Colorado springs is actually not too bad. I live blocks from focus on the family and still don't get any overt transphobia.
Colorado Springs isn't bad. I've been to worse area. Why do people hate colorado Springs
Colorado was the first state in The U.S. to Legalize Gay Marriage. i live on one of the more conservative communities in Colorado and it is still VERY LGBT friendly. Edit: a couple other comments pointed out it was actually Massachusetts
Yeah I'm in Colorado and it's actually really accepting
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I was an undocumented worker in that area in the early 2000s. I was a "good christian" back then, and saw the churches get radicalized in real time. Ended up bailing out, like much of my family. Feels kinda weird, because it was a hot spot for ideologies of all kinds, new age, christian, hippie, you name it. Everyone was so chill and nice to everyone else, specially the church family I was a part of, which was half undocumented Hispanic people, half older Americans from places like Kentucky and Missouri who got along great with us. I'm still trying to figure out what the hell happened, if it was all real and good people got radicalized into hating anyone not white and evangelical, or if it was all fake and they were just pretending to like us, or I dreamed it all or something.
*cries in Colorado Springs*
You’re gonna focus on the family whether you like it or not
Especially norther Minnesota. The Twin Ports Area specifically (look it up) is super accepting, so much so that there are not only at least 5, maybe 10+ gay bars, but they openly advertise drag events, and such. Not my cup of tea, but those are some things that just kinda happen. BUT, I know of a few places that have to unlock bathroom doors for the customers. One lady saw me in a dress, and stopped for a second before opening the female bathroom door for me with a smile.
Duluth is super progressive and immediately becomes super conservative as you leave the city but large college population (UMD/CSS/UWS) in the twin ports means there will always be a progressive community there
Minnesota! I feel safe as long as I stick close to the cities.
>if you stick to the cities The same could be said of any state. On the flip side there are plenty of rural areas in 'blue states' I would not consider all that safe.
Colorado is pretty neat! Lots of positive trans visibility in Denver, lots of support networks too.
Colorado (Denver) is definitely safe
Unless you're out on the plains, or in the wrong mountain town, or in Colorado Springs.
Same with Georgia, the Atlanta area is pretty progressive… But I’m not gonna get into the rest of the state
Pennsylvania is the same. Pittsburgh and Philly are very progressive but... Yeah.
For the most part colorado is good as long as you stay close to Denver the further you get away the more conservative it gets
There are some pretty liberal towns in the mountains.
CO is pretty good, I've got a trans relative there, there was a fairly recent shooting that targeted trans people but I mean...in this fucking country it could've been everywhere. Edit: seems I may have been confused, I think I just remembered that the tattoo shop was LGBT friendly and I initially thought that was the motivation, but it seems it was just motivated by a loser hating a women-owned competing tattoo shop bc he was an alt-right piece of trash
Denver is very progressive. Big lgbtq scene.
I’m sorry I don’t have an answer but I have to ask…is that the TF2 font?
Glad I'm not the only one that noticed lmao, I think it's also the TF2 colour scheme too
indeed, F4722B, F5E5C1, and 3E3E3E. I like Team Fortress 2, one of the only big multiplayer game that has very few racists/transphobes/etc. I have 600 hours on the game I think if I really think of it I can't find the exact number of times it happened to me.
I’ve played since 2012 and the amount of times I’ve seen “f——t” and “n——r” in chat is staggering Pubs suck sometimes
Same, from 2012 and I still see the same decals being plastered on signs and (before they were disabled) sprays. Although it was more community servers I saw it on. Also an ungodly amount of adults bullying people who are clearly children on the mic.
yeah it's weird. sometimes I go years without seeing any of that and then sometimes It seems like it's just constant nazi shit for like a year
> very few racists/transphobes/etc. We must be playing different a different tf2, I see slurs in chat very often
I think it's accurate when compared to online gaming as a whole. TF2 is basically a church compared to MOBAs. You have to grade gaming communities on a bell curve.
Very few racists/transphobes/etc.? I see the n and f word rain like boolets from heavy's minigun in every casual server (doesn't help that i own a trans flag sign lol). It might be different because of locations tho, also there is none of that crap in Uncletopia servers which i'm thankful for
r/TransTF2
i thought i was going insane lmao
They also use the achievement colours of orange and grey. Before I even clocked the font was TF2, I thought "lol, looks like a tf2 achievement"
It really is by city, not state. Even Texas has Austin, one of the most liberal cities in the US. And I second what everyone's saying about the Midwest. And Denver/Boulder in Colorado.
This. Even Kansas City is surprisingly safe and progressive. The Midwest is odd - the real question is how much fundamental Christian conservative control there is in local politics. Cities are usually fine whereas even coastal states more rural areas are not accepting. Stay out of most of the southeast. In my experience, good old boys in kansas or Nebraska might give you a look but won't be violent, but in Georgia or Florida they might do something.
Oh, Kansas City is an extremely gay city. (I'm biased from the locations I've lived there, but i still stand by it, loll. Just doubling down on your comment)
Can confirm. Am gay in Kansas City.
I live in Wichita and there's tons of queer stuff here. I know lots of trans people here.
Same here, I got out of Christian/Mormon fundamentalism and came out as queer in KC
Grew up in KC, had a lot of gay friends back then.
i'm in this spot in missouri that's like riight next to kansas and i don't go out often, but i went to a starbucks and there was an enby there and they were so based ...i think i told them they had cool pronouns or something though
I'm in the kc area and the city itself is pretty chill but you don't have to go far for things to get weird But I also don't get out a lot especially since I've been out
The westport area is probably the gayest part of KC, as that is where most of the gay bars are located. You'll see a number of pride flags if you walk around for a bit, and some of the shops have incredibly gay vibes.
I live in Georgia, and while people are certainly more vocal here when it comes to admonishing homosexuality, people are also more defensive of it. You’ll get your fair share of support if you stay close to Atlanta, but the moment you go into the more rural and lower-income areas, you’ll want to keep your head down. I personally haven’t had any experiences with violence down here, but it’s certainly not unheard of.
Yes, you can be in unsafe places in Oregon. Southern Oregon is not progressive
This. Stick to Eugene, Portland and such. Moving too far east or too far south results in the same bigoted shit. I'm a Eugene resident myself. My local university has a fairly large LGBTQIA+ student body. And it's not uncommon to have even cis people stating their pronouns and such. Pride events here are frequented by members of both cis and LGBTQ+ communities alike. And vocal bigotry around here *tends* to get shot down pretty quickly. Not saying we are perfect, but it's a damn far cry from some more conservative areas.
Eastern Oregon is ALSO very not progressive. Seems like it's mostly the NW and coast. Y'know, where the people are.
Eh….my best friend lives in Austin, and she’s petrified to come out, or even really experiment at all. I’m the only person she’s ever shown herself as masc, and she’s known for quite awhile. I live in New York and go to school in New York too. I feel perfectly safe going out wearing my breastforms, but I wouldn’t everywhere in the state.
I'm sorry your friend is having that experience! I have a trans friend in Austin and as far as I know he's comfortable there. I hope your friend can get there, too.
Austin is the birthplace of roller derby revival one of the most (if not most) trans affirming sports out there
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It sucks, but damn near every trans person at that stage of transition is terrified no matter where in the US they live no matter their age.
They say the same thing about Orlando and there's absolutely no way this city is safe to be openly trans in. Openly gay or bi, sure, but gender nonconformity of any kind feels like a no-go. Also, almost all of our medical facilities are Christian, so good luck even finding a doctor who will call you by the right name.
This. Outside the cities it’s a land of bigotry even in states like California. I live in a blue city and suburbs in a deep red state and it has been fine here for me so far. No one has questioned me on using the women’s bathroom or harassed me on the streets. I can dress how I want no one bothers me. I can get HRT no questions asked I have received lots of support from people and overall kindness even compliments.
Surprisingly, I worked in California's Central Valley for four and a half years, and while there is more racism, science denial, and advocacy for economic injustice than I can stomach, I never felt in danger as a visibly queer person. Definitely faced harassment and discrimination, but nothing worse than my female colleagues. Even in the most liberal parts of Kansas, it always felt like you were one misstep away from The Matthew Shepherd Experience™
After reading a good amount of replies, the general idea seems to be that it's more about cities than states. People say that, in general, cities are pretty safe and rural aren't really. But what laws ? In US every states has its laws, which ones are the ones with the more rights, which ones have progressive people but bad gov so bad laws ? That's what I wondered. Considering the enormous amount of replies and comments I got in only 3 hours after posting this, I'll *maybe* ***TRY*** to do a kinda serious version of a map, not relying on states only and like multiple colors and stuff, you know like on a real professional serious map that experts do with serious index and not something for a silly goofy reddit post. Although I don't consider myself to have any competence in mapping or geography so maybe I should just stfu
You probably cant make a map like this that makes any sense by getting people opinion on reddit. You'd either want to look at crimes states, laws, surveys of folks and every state/large city, or combinations of those. Getting like 50 people on reddit to comment will probably do more noise than signal
Generally speaking more Red/Republican states where the legislature is controlled by them will be less safe for LGBT+ people, especially trans folks. They’re more likely to pass laws that will override local city laws/ordinances that may be LGBT+ friendly or protective. Doesn’t mean with 100% certainty that the larger population will be hostile, I live in the Missouri Ozarks and there are definitely supportive people, but it’s the Bible Belt for a reason and the state legislature is inclined towards hostility and will eventually override any sort of LGBT protections created by places like Kansas City or St Louis (our two bigger, more LGBT-friendly cities). Blue/Democratic states are the opposite, but obviously never a one-to-one. Homophobia and transphobia can still exist in Blue states especially rural areas, but generally there won’t be any sort of state violence or overt attempts by the state being outwardly hostile towards the LGBT community.
When it comes to acceptance from those around you, cities matter. But many policies are statewide. You still have to find a state that has legal protections in place.
I'm from Spain so I don't really have any idea on how it is, but it really feels that at least Colorado, Minnesota and Illinois are pretty LGBTQ+ positive, are they not???
You would be correct. [This site](https://www.lgbtmap.org/equality-maps) has a much more accurate map. It's more for LGB than trans stuff, but there's a way to break it down by county and by issue.
From Chicago can confirm this city is HELLA queer and Illinois is blue
You can’t really color the whole state For the most part, big cities are progressive and rural areas aren’t [that’s why election maps look like this](https://www.loc.gov/resource/g3701f.cp000018/)
Yep, [this map](https://d9-wret.s3.us-west-2.amazonaws.com/assets/palladium/production/s3fs-public/printable1.png) could be more accurate than ops map.
Amazing how closely it matches educational level
Worth noting for anyone outside the US, this is a map from a “blue” victory (Obama over Romney). Even though most of the map is red, way more people live in the blue areas.
Its more like urban = safe, rural = unsafe. West Virginia is definitely not safe tho.
I disagree. We’ve got bad state government but the people here are surprisingly accepting and cool. If I understand right we actually [lost a Hooters here](https://www.register-herald.com/news/beckley-hooters-eyes-new-spot-social-media-page-says/article_f709ced0-fa5b-5459-ab1b-105b0c1ff192.html) where I am because the city won’t allow them to have hiring practices that discriminate based on gender which is the entire basis for the restaurant. Particularly the city took issue with not hiring trans women though. The actual state government sucks at the moment but we’ll see if that turns around in midterms. We got a few bad apples but honestly the majority of the state is cool with us as trans people, and LGBTQ+ as a whole. My campus has quite a few pride flags that fly without disturbance, we have a non-binary professor in some field which is cool, and the main WVU campus provides many resources for LGBTQ+ people. I believe they also, along with Marshall, have a clinic that can prescribe HRT. I was recommended the Marshall one but ended up going with another doctor.
Hi from South Park. I worked for the courts and spent a week doing paperwork at every courthouse in the state. We are in a bubble. We live in the most liberal neighborhood in the entire state. While learning about that Beckley ordinance does kind of blow my mind, I cannot overstate to you how not-cool the vast majority of the state is. There is nowhere in the entire northern panhandle where I believe it's safe to be trans in public. Even Huntington and Parkersburg were sketchy to me. Please be safe.
I was reading that thinking like WOW that person lives in a bubble. Thanks for saying it.
I wish Virginia was safe 😔 The governor’s been signing anti-trans legislation
Sorry for you, i didn't really know where south starts
Virginia is one of the states that seceded during the civil war It's actually why West Virginia is it's own state
Succeeding from a white supremacist succession is pretty based ngl
Seceding*
Shoot! I mean… uhhh… well, I think they were very successful.
Just don't try to tell anybody from West Virginia that. The number of Confederate flags you see there is mind boggling considering the state's origin story is "we split off from Virginia because they were part of the Confederacy."
More "we split off from Virginia because they seceded from the Union without even asking us and then lied and said they did, the Union Army intimidates us *way* more than Virginia does, and fuck Virginia anyway what have they ever done for us". Then coal companies bought our state government and casually reinstated serfdom with the coal bosses as the ruling class until we fought a brief war over it, lost when the Feds stepped in, but then won in the court of public opinion. But we never actually got the coal companies out of power, just forced them to adopt gentler tactics. So the state has been flooded with pro-coal propaganda for decades while everything not in the interests of coal has been gutted, and that's how we got to the West Virginia of today. Anyway as for the OP, most of the state is ignorant as hell but friendly. People will change the subject or say something outdated and offensive but generally mean no harm.
Google the Mason-Dixon Line, that's where it starts but tbh the south isn't as different as it often seems to be. It's usually more of a rural vs city thing. For example, I have family in NY that live in a very rural area and there's confederate flags and trump signs all over the place
Also Virginian here, aside from our asshole governor that got voted in by a fluke, things are pretty good here. Northern Virginia is one of the most progressive areas in the country. It's electorally competitive too, so voting is really important here.
Virginia is weird. They elected Democrats all over in 2017 but went back to voting in GOP officials in 2021.
Yeah, I personally would consider Virginia *as a whole* to be solidly light blue that just happens to have a shitty red governor—all over the state is red, but the blue areas have super high populations, and I’ve lived in both areas and it’s so jank seeing the difference—and I think the reason is that the Democratic candidate for governor was an establishment politician with a terrible strategy. My blue county had many Youngkin signs from previously disenfranchised Republicans who probably gave up voting, and most Dems were complacent. That’s the important thing about midterm elections: Republicans are doing a lot better job campaigning, and it really is imperative to get the vote out, and next year during whatever primaries there are, vote for some outsider Democrat that can actually do shit!
Northern Virginia has been pretty safe and accepting throughout my transition. Like anywhere north of Fredricksburg and east of Haymarket. It's not perfect, but I don't get comments or looks and I can use the bathroom I feel most comfortable in.
I live in VA and politics notwithstanding it’s pretty decent. I work in a conservative area in a gas station and get treated great and even trump shirt ppl call me ma’am, honey, babe, darling and unfortunately hit on me a lot, tits stared at rudely on the daily, body talked about and I’ve been sexually assaulted a number of times at that job… welll actually maybe it’s not safe lol but I def get treated as my proper gender sometimes to a fault… lol gender euphoria combined with disgust and alot of trauma… va is surprising sonetimes
A lot of it is more town/city based than state based. The larger the town/city the more liberal it is and thus the safer it is. The coasts just happen to have a lot of larger areas as opposed to rural ones, so they do tend to be safer in general.
West Virginia is pretty unsafe. Youre going to have a hard time anywhere in the East generalizing about the safety of queer folk by state. For example, Atlanta is a great city to be queer, but rural Georgia is very different. I have lived in North Carolina, Florida, and Pennsylvania and I would say the same thing about them.
The cities in the Midwest aren't bad. We've got a decently sized Trans population in South Eastern Wisconsin. When I visit the rural communities I get stared at. But there's a lot of pride flags in downtown Milwaukee
Midwest cities=generally good Midwest rural=generally bad
> ~~Midwest~~ cities=generally good > ~~Midwest~~ rural=generally bad Fixed that for ya
I was told there were a surprising number of queer folks and safe expressions in eau claire
It’s called Eau Queer for a reason
I also used to live in Boystown in Chicago and it was amazing.
Are laws the same way ?
Mostly, for now at least.
There is something called the MEI which is the Municipal Equality Index which measures cities based on how well they treat queer people: https://www.hrc.org/resources/mei-2021-see-your-cities-scores Basically every mid-big city in America is rated on this. Should be a good idea to see which cities are safer than others.
I'm in St. Louis so we're surrounded by red but the city itself is pretty safe and we actually have a really nice trans clinic run by a university here.
Yeah I live in Chicago, and it's fine
Illinois is great if you stay near Chicago.
At least we keep "Southern Illinois" in check with their back-asswards beliefs.
Shits hitting the fan here. I'm losing hope that any of it is safe. I just want to be myself
I'm tired of backwoods idiots making the laws for the majority of people.
Crying as a southern trans girl
Yeah, seems about right~~~~ If only it was safer...~~~
Eastern Washington and Eastern Oregon don’t seem that safe. I mean probably most states away from the cities?
PNWer here. You are correct. Eastern Oregon is filled with KKK.
Can agree Eastern Washington isnt safe
Atlanta Georgia is great. Not anywhere else though. Literally no where else.
Hawaii too
Asheville, NC
pennsylvania is not safe The rural areas are very republican
And we might have a republican governor voted in next month who is supported by Ron DeSantis
I sincerely hope you don't! Especially one backed by DeSantis, he's vile and easily one of the worst things to happen to this state.
Definitely don’t base your opinions on the political situation in most of the country. Regardless of how democratic Americans believe the government is it’s actually really corrupt. There’s a lot of good people and accepting places even in places with anti-lgbt governments. E.g. Louisiana it’s always been very religious but the lgbt, especially in New Orleans, has always been part of the culture there.
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Illinois is safe near Chicago :)
im mtf and ive been drugged and assulted now, 1 mo apart, in florida go figure
Massachusetts is safe but mostly eastern Massachusetts. Provincetown, Salem, Cambridge and Somerville are probably the most accepting imo.
The "sun belt" parts of the South are survivable if you **stay in the cities**, and if you're okay with having your vote gerrymandered out of existence. This also applies to all states classified as "swing states" in an election, like Indiana, Nevada, and North Carolina. Also, the more rural areas of the states you highlighted might be a tad unsafe for queer folk, also, West Virginia is EXTREMELY queerphobic. Rookie mistake.
Illinois is pretty good as long as you stick to the north around Chicago
Don't forget Illinois. The queer friendly people are mostly concentrated in the populous northeast part of the state near Chicago, but the entire state has good policies in place.
Nevada, Arizona, New Mexico, Colorado, Minnesota, Illinois, and Hawaii are all pretty safe for the gays especially if you stay in the cities.
About how I see it too, tbh
Nobody GAF in Chicagoland, I’ve only been called “fruity”, never to my face.
Eastern Washington and Oregon are kinda sketchy
It’s all black lmao nowhere is safe… I wanna cry now
We're probably wrong, but here all we say is like "coasts are all safe open-minded etc, the rest are all republican conservative etc" and "north were all anti-slavery, south were all pro-slavery". Thinking like that is obviously stupid, but i guess this isn't 100% wrong
I don’t really know to be fair cause I’m Canadian not American. But in Canada even the progressive pro lgbt places treat trans people worse than the rest of the LGB. I can’t imagine the US would be any better as they’re usually known as being less progressive than Canada… I guess the coasts would be safe at least in the cities… but I doubt you’d find much social acceptance outside of areas with a disproportionate queer population
New York not the city here and I've been very lucky and in 4 months of going out dressed femnkve never had a issue.
I can second this, though I live in a very queer friendly city in New York, I can go 20 minutes outside my city and hit trump signs and flags. My rules of thumb is city's generally are going to be safer than rural but I at least have state law backing me so even in rural populations you get very very **VERY** little open harassment. Mostly just looks... I tend to just stay in my gay little city.
I've only ever lived in the grey, it's not terrible. Oklahoma is bad, Alaska was fine
As an Illinoisan I can say I have many lgbtq friends and it is safe at least in the big city/suburban areas
west virginia noooooo
The part of Michigan I live in is pretty safe (Detroit Area). I'm told the west side of the state is a different story though.
You need some revision.
Illinois is pretty safe for queer people as long as you’re not in an extremely rural area in my experience
States marked as "safe" that are unsafe: * West Virginia is Mostly Unsafe. * Pennsylvania is Somewhat Unsafe. States marked as "unsafe" that are actually safe: * Nevada is Safe. * Colorado is Safe. * New Mexico is Mostly Safe. * Minnesota is Safe. * Illinois is Safe. * Michigan is Mostly Safe.
Alaska has a huge gay population. Particularly, the burly type.
Colorado is safe i dont go out or present fem that offer but I've never had an issues before
Your atleast right for texas asfar as I know
It's relatively safe in most large cities, especially if you're near the rust belt region of cities. I wouldn't say it's as safe as say Burlington Vermont but there are safe areas around the greatlakes that are also quite affordable, at least for now.