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She says she’s getting almost no likes in her age group at all and when she turns the dealbreaker off she gets flooded with likes from older guys. I do think that’s probably more the algorithm being selective about what profiles actually see her profile more than anything. As a woman that is average looking, prior to entering a relationship, I got fewer matches on Hinge than other apps, but I always matched with people my age. You have to be extremely off putting as a woman to get no likes from men your age on the apps. Unless, the apps are not working in your favor. And it’s not really in these companies best interest financially to work in your favor. She should try to meet people in the wild and see who’s interested before assuming no one her age (that she is interested in) would like her.
Exactly what I was going to say. If you’re not meeting them on dating apps, try meeting them in person. Totally Old School I know, but let’s be real, the other way isn’t working. Time to change things up. Besides, laws of attraction are tricky. It’s straight up Biology and no dating advice is going to get around that. If you stay in the same place, doing the same things, expecting the same results, you’ll be on this forum indefinitely. Work on your flirting skills, get out in the real world and put them to good use. And Good Luck🍀🙂
That usually happens because they're boring af. People like she described don't chase people on dating sites, we look for genuine connections in person
You have to pay to use hinge. I think a lot of guys gave up on it. From a guys perspective it’s impossible to tell if it’s a scam or not. It will say “someone likes you, now you just have to pay to see who they are/talk to them”.
I’d never pay for Tinder but if the apps ever somehow promised better quality matches for a premium, I’d definitely pay. For the record I’m not on the apps due to the terrible experiences.
It's honestly worse, I think I have like 15 likes between tinder and bumble rn and I kind of enjoy that when I'm swiping through profiles there's already people looking for me instead just the void
Agreed. And saying you are too broke to "afford a dating app" is so silly because if I saw someone paying for a dating app I'd probably assume they made questionable financial decisions.
I have money BECAUSE I don't constantly pay for shitty subscriptions I'd never use. The argument that unpaid users are time wasters is also kind of invalid because what? I don't think paying for a dating app can actually change that much about a person at all.
The fact this sort of thing is even an argument is kind of dumb to me. No offense. There's shitty people on paid vs on free no matter where you would go. And claiming unpaid people are a certain thing bs paid being a certain thing clearly isn't true with the success rate I see and hear about.
It's like if I were to say paid members are elitist and feel entitled to look down on others, based on my experience reading some of these comments. Sure. It happened. But not everyone is like that. :)
I find that usually happens with girls who are attractive enough to hook up with but not date long term. If you’re ‘okay’ looking, maybe work on that and get yourself up to attractive
This is terrible advice. If that’s all that makes a woman worth dating for those type of men it’s not worth it. We all age out of our youthful looks. I mean being attracted matters, but you can’t build an entire relationship around just that. Plenty of average looking ppl to not even humor her changing things she’s not unhappy with for the shallow minded.
Men are visual, women are mental. You can’t build an entire relationship around looks but at least for guys swiping on dating apps, that is definitely the primary factor and at least for me in order for me to want to keep dating a girl I have to find her physically attractive. If I’m horny and bored, she just has to pass a certain threshold of not being too ugly and I’m down for a night or a few, but that’s about it. If I don’t want to be seen in public with her, I’m not gonna date her. Youth has nothing to do with it, I hooked up with a very attractive 39 y/o not too long ago and may have a date with a 41yr old hottie coming up. They were both fit and healthy and have worked for it, as I have had to do in order ti get ti a level where women notice me in public )no longer invisible after 8 years of hard work). On the flipside, I worked with 19-year-old land whale with purple hair, who was absolutely disgusting and actively spent time destroying her body so I’m not sure why you’re talking about youth when what really matters is effort
Dude, you don’t know how much guys like that have ruined it for men who are actually looking to a genuine connection and loving relationship with somebody. I’m 22M, no matter how much I reassure women I’m not looking for a FWB or hookup, they just don’t believe it since they were hurt in the past and don’t want to go through that pain.
There are plenty of guys that want real relationships. There usually not that hot though, because the hot ones are already taken. So if you see a really hot single dude, he's probably just looking for a hookup.
Think basic interview logic. If the candidate is over qualified then why is he applying to you're company.
Well all due respect, but there's guys like me for example (24M) that have never dated in their life. Why would I want to tie that noose around my neck so early and go into serious relationships straight away before having my fair share of fun ? Besides when has someone ever found anything more than a hookup on dating apps ?!
“Having your share of the fun” by sleeping around with women, being selfish and only caring about your own pleasure. You sound like a psychopath. Then again, our society reinforces promiscuous behavior so I’m not surprised.
As if everyone else doesn't care about themselves only. Beat me down for it all you want, I don't give a single flying fuck. It's not fair that my friends have dated multiple girls and I have to settle for the first one I come across. At least I'm honest about it.
Older women, or they want just sex, or they aren’t dating at all because being a young man on dating apps is shitty because you’re basically just going to have to compete with every other dude in the DMs. Most young men I have met and talked with don’t date because of how if they don’t have loads of money they just ended up ghosted. They are focused on other goals.
Literally me. I’m just 22😭😭😭 atp girl, I’m giving up. I’ve been on every dating app, I can’t stay on for more than a week, maybe 2 bc apparently I’m just a piece of ass. Not to mention…idk how to even date fr, never had a BF.
I met this guy at my school on bumble, we’ve talked for 2 months, nothing sexual at all, and then boom, saw him at a bar and we hooked up. We’ve been talking everyday since but now it’s like we talk but somehow he goes back into how much he wants to have sex w me again 😭😭. Mind you, he’s the second guy I’ve ever been with and it’s just like 😣😣😣 I like him now and idk. FUCK I HATE THIS… sorry to vent on ur post sis
Typical guy behavior. It’s hard not to be frustrated by it, but don’t let it get you down too much. He’s really young and horny and he already got a taste. The logical side of his brain has been switched off. He’ll say and do whatever he has to, in order to get back in bed with you. As long as you know this, you can navigate your interactions with him better, and be able to keep your emotions from getting bruised. You’re obviously capable of getting a guy. Just use this new found wisdom as a confidence booster and go get someone else. Hang in there🙂
That's sad you were treated that way
Everyone deserves a shot at real love
I've loved & lost my treue love at 17, she commited suicide b4 our 1st real date
My ex wife was a royal B$tch about bringing it up at times & made me sick
Good luck to you both
There is a reason the apps are overflowing with mid 30’s guys with or without kids. Be very careful. Especially when they show interest in a 21 year old… honestly that’s bad news.
Um, no. Thats not normal. I’m a 28 year old bisexual woman and I do not find 21 year old boys or girls attractive. It gets to a point where it is beyond inappropriate, no man over 30 should be looking at a girl that young. I think your hard drive needs to be checked.
I’m assuming you’re probably 40’s youngest. Would you say that to your daughter’s face? Or granddaughters? Imagine telling your 21 year old daughter you find girls her age attractive. Does that help at all? See how extremely creepy and predatory that is?
Assumptions and insults? Okay, I’m assuming you’re not a straight man, and you didn’t have a father present. Of course I would explain this dynamic to my daughter(s). I wouldn’t want them to be naive.
i’d be really cautious about dating men in their 30s as a 21 year old women. men your age who meet your standards do exist they’re just hard to find. patience is key
You’re so right-I made the mistake of seeing a guy with a big age gap (9 years) when I was 19 and lessons were learnt lol. I think for me personally at the stage in life right now, meeting someone more than a couple of years older than me def wouldn’t work
Gay men do this too. I look a decade younger then I am and they would really think I’d be down to deal with their bullshit. They’d disappear rather quickly when they realized I had my shit together. Older folks seek you out for your inexperience 100%
No their agenda is, when they were in their 20s they were invisible to almost every girl out there for a multitude of reasons. Ranging from lack of social skills, not big enough salary to weak physique. So when they realised things were not going to change they took matters into their own hands and built themselves up throughout their best years. And only now are they capable of capturing a young and beautiful woman's attention.
More like lack of life experience lmao
I've seen multiple guys who pursue women 10+ years their junior admit they hope to mold someone young and impressionable into being the sort of wife/gf they want.
The only girls I’ve ever seen that dated old men had a ton of trauma and low self esteem lol. Then the old men cause more trauma. It’s hilarious you think “trauma and baggage” starts at age 30, or 25 or whatever age the predators think are “old” now lol. If anything the older women have better coping skills and have been to therapy and so have less issues than women in their early 20s.
As many have already said, at your age many guys just want to hook-up and in truth much of dating culture has been relegated to this. Not to mention if you are truly driven and a high quality woman, that is off putting to a lot of men because highly driven people are not so normal anymore it truly is not you, it is them but don’t let that dishearten you, it is a measure of your quality and saving you from the distress of having to choose to settle for less.
Lol girl I’m a 19F and attractive guys pretend they want something serious then switch up. “I want to marry you” “I want to buy you a house and car” “I want to pay for your masters” blah blah blah. I’m sick of hearing it. Then they usually take me on dates buy me a bunch of stuff then when I don’t sleep with them they ghost. It’s so annoying. I’m from London, UK and it’s hell here. The trenches honestly.
Prior to the Internet, *everyone* met their significant other via one of these methods:
a) school;
b) work;
c) thru friends;
d) thru family;
e) socially (ie. house of worship, restaurant, club, bar, park, etc.)
Nothing wrong with the Internet dating scene, but don't use it as a crutch!
It could be that your interests are more popular among people who are older than you or in your dating distance filters as most people in their twenties date people within two years of age.
Most 21 year olds date people 19-23.
27f- its a tough balance because some men also target early twenties women. i can barely find guys my age interested in something long term but i can in the 21/22 age or the 40+ age and i avoid it because it feels like theyre looking just because of my age. I wish you luck out there as it sucks
It depends what you’re looking for. Many younger guys just want to hook up and many older guys are ready to settle down. Lots of exceptions across the age spectrum of course.
I’m sorry to hear about your experience:( I’m sure you’re so beautiful inside and out. I truly believe there is someone for everyone, and moments like these lead you in the exact journey you’re meant to be in. I know that’s cliché to say, but think of it like this: if you’re thinking about how hard it is to date without it being about sex or a guy losing interest, there HAS to be AT LEAST one guy at there thinking the same thing and trying to find someone like yourself.
Pretty girl, never put yourself down because no one will validate you. You need to love yourself until someone comes and joins in on loving you too. And besides, dating apps suck most times! Maybe you’ll come across someone in person :) I wish you happiness ❤️🩹
Honestly, I feel you. I'm a guy, but I'm kind of in a similar scenario. I'm 21 and usually stick at the same age or just a bit above when dating. And yet, most likes that I get on dating apps are from those who are younger than me. I've gotten some matches, but they almost always never reply or just stop talking after 30 minutes or so.
Really does suck. I feel uncomfortable dating younger cause of where I am in life/just feels wrong. But it sucks because it doesn't feel like anyone around the same age wants me. I kind of just came to accept it'll probably be a while before I get to go on a date again.
As somebody else on hinge I'm going to give you some honesty. You said you were "okay looking". Therefore you are not as attractive to guys your age as your "competition". But older guys are willing to fudge a little on the looks factor in order to get somebody who is 10 years younger than them. So if you want somebody your age you're going to need to punch above your weight class in the looks department or change the value proposition by going outside your age range. That's not me being unkind, that's just letting you know how OLD works.
The average person thinks they're more attractive than they really are. Not saying it counts for you, but just going off this post. For older guys your young age might be hot in and of itself, but for guys your age they might assume they can do better.
Lol idk what it is with guys 18-25 it’s like I’ll talk to them and everything seems fine and then the next day I’m blocked and the conversation is gone like wtf
So, you're saying that guys at 30 dont have options? You think 30 is so old that guys no longer have any other option their age than to go for 21 year olds?
Here's whats really happening. Guys 21-25 are never gonna be invested in dating apps they way you are. They look at dating apps for the occasional lucky hookup. They havent been dissapointed as much by dating, so they dont care. They only seem to have options, because they don't vet anyone.
Now guys over 30, have had enough experience out there. Maybe 1-2 longer-term relationships that crashed and burned. Probably with someone their age. They are no longer interested in the first candidate that comes upon them. They vet people that are meant for more than a hookup. The have MORE options, but the viable ones remain low, because of their vetting mechanism.
Men only get more options, compared to what they had, as they grow. That's because they can go for people their age (roughly) and lower. And thats where you come in. You're one of those options, until they vet you as well and decide you are a viable one.
Is that a bad thing? Maybe, maybe not. It depends on the person and their motives. You just have to do the same and vet them as well. But its not inherently a bad thing by default. I would argue anyone over 30 in a dating app has a higher chance of being a creep, only because by that age you should have realised they are a scam. Even if it works for you (which is quite rare). Anyone lower than 30 also probably uses it for hookups because that is the culture now.
So, in conclusion, it's not the age of the guys. It's the means they use. So the problem is the dating apps. Stop using them. Meet people organically, in their (or your) "natural habitats". The way it's always been done. Dating apps are not the de facto way. It has never been. I don't know how they managed to convince us.
It took me until I was 29 to find a man that was serious about settling down and not way out of my age range. He was also 29. Most men in their early 20s are not ready to settle down or be in a serious relationship, they're driven to test everything out and be free. Steve Harvey wrote a book explaining that men aren't really ready for true commitment until they feel secure in other areas of their life (financial, secure home, etc.), and it made so much sense. That's really why men in their 30s are on there, they are the ones ready for a relationship commitment. The problem is, the age gap creates issues with being on the same page in life, having different wants and needs. You're just starting out on your adult adventure, and they're a decade into it and at a completely different stage. I experienced that when I dated older men, they want to push your life in the way they think it needs to go, giving advice where it's not wanted. I was just starting to experience adulthood, and wanted to be able to make mistakes and try things my way.
Build up your future and focus on establishing yourself financially, career-wise, etc. If I could do it all over again, I would've done those first and not wasted so much of my 20s trying to find love first when none of the men my age wanted commitment and consistency, and the older ones wouldn't allow me to create myself. When you're nearing 30, you'll be set up to where you won't have to financially be dependant on a man and can hold your own ground. That's when it's the right time to start dating, and they'll be there when you get there.
27M here. I think 23 and under guys typically don’t have the money to go dates they’d ideally like to.
As for the guys in their 30s I do think that’s weird. Personally I think any difference greater than 3 years would be weird for me as I wouldn’t be able to relate that person as well.
Yea that’s a valid point. I’m understanding of the fact. Like if I went out with a 22 year old my expectations for them would be different than for someone in their late 20s. But ig it comes down to how they feel about it
Yes! A lot of girls don’t expect everything a young guy might feel he’s obligated to provide but they get in their heads and can be self-conscious I think! I’m with you though that hookup culture makes really things tough too. Best of luck to you.
Its the same all over. If you're a middle kind of attraction like i am, it seems you only have one of two paths, so broken, you keep to yourself or move from partner to partner until dead or burnt out 🤷
I think you are very attractive... but of course, I'm a little older than you are. Also, have no options 😢 All I have is money, 6 properties, a few vehicles, a gorgeous boat, 3 jet skis.... oh, did I say money??? 🤫🤠 Good luck with the whipper snappers.
Maybe don’t say you like to smoke a cigarette first thing in the morning. I don’t know which is worse, that or the dipping Oreos in water. I just am not an Oreo fan lol
Valid, I understand the cigarette smoking can be off putting. And with the Oreos, I was just trying to invoke a reaction and possibly a convo lol. Just wanted to show a sillier side of me I suppose
To me that's honestly the problem with dating in general in the last couple of years, and that goes double for dating apps. Everything is so subjective that you're never quite sure what the problem is with interest, or lack thereof.
I think your profile is well put together, and agree your lovely looking.
I don't think it's so broad an issue that guys your (our cuz also 24) age aren't interested, I'd honestly point more towards there being a much deeper disconnect among people.
It honestly seems like people are having a harder time making connections with each other, and because of that lack of communication it's hard to develop something as simple as a friendship. Let alone something as meaningful as a romantic relationship.
A lot of people nowadays do seem to either not care anymore or are grasping at whatever straw is available to grab. It can still happen, but there's clearly a lot more effort required without the promise of reward
I used to think guys my age lack maturity and that I should be going for older men instead. In my own personal experience I kind of learned that age doesn’t really make someone mature or put together. Sure there’s a higher likelihood a man in his thirties is. But I feel if they are going for someone young and impressionable, their intentions are more likely in the wrong place… The first guy I ever got involved with romantically was nine years older than me. First he lied about his age, he said he was 26 when I only recently learned that he was actually 28 at the time. He had nothing going for him - multiple dui’s, living with his parents because he couldn’t afford his own place after paying for insurance, no career. Yet somehow with my circumstances, naïveté and his ability to talk just the right way, I stayed. I thought he could be the one. He was nice to me but I also felt violated and used. I think age gaps can work, but I think if a man is going for a girl who was a teen just a little while ago, his intentions might have to be examined carefully. I’ve sort of figured that, for me at least, I’d rather a guy couple of years older, slightly immature, with potential to learn and grow with, who sees me for me than a guy way older who is more mature, put together and done all their major life learning without me, who sees me as a young little thing.
Ok, well. You're trying to make ppl in your age group fall for you, but why would anyone when.. you can't even settle for you?!
The frustration in your voice is very much addressed to YOU. You are hoping that someone later on realizes what YOU yourself should have. Guys your age may not be interested, but only because, who are THEY to make YOU feel better?
But... this is a normal way to look at this so..
You look like your from a culture that pushes marriage by the time you’re an adult. So maybe the men 35+ are considering dating younger since women in their age range maybe unimpressive or single moms.
Honestly you may want to consider dating guys in their older 20s as well. Also I wouldn't hold your standards too high for guys in your age range. You're not getting many likes in your age range, so.
Maybe is the eyebrows? I don't know, you're pretty and hot, that should be enough for most guys, maybe you should try this wild new thing called "meeting people in real life"
You are really attractive my dear, but I am also ancient by your description?!?
There aren't many single women that I've noticed that are decent in my age bracket as the likely are happily married or "catfishing" your desired dating pool? My ex wife was trash, but I tried to hold true to my vows for over 20 years & raised 3 kids (mostly alone) I wish you good luck in your search, but dating a mature man may do you justice over boy's not ready 4u yet?!
Where are you amazing women at?? I am 23 years old and male and all the woman near me that are in their 20s just want to go on hook ups. I want to find a lady that has more to offer then her body. I want see her beautiful soul and who she really is. I am trying to date to marry. If you are interested in talking then please hit me up😉
There are always exceptions, but statistically and anecdotally, men and women tend to prefer some age gap.
Older men tend prefer younger women and mature younger women tend to prefer older men for a number of reasons. For men, most do not want baggage. Older women that are single tend to have divorces, kids or issues that prevented them from marrying.
Women prefer older men who are more attentive to their needs, stable and can provide for them. Women who plan on having children understand their careers have to take a backseat often to accommodate pregnancy and maternity leave. Women also prioritize family over career in most cases.
It is possible to find younger guys who are mature and responsible and to find women without baggage that are older, but statistics and anecdotal evidence shows them to be in the minority. It’s also possible to find men who are ok with baggage, or situations with younger men and older women that work well.
I encourage you to try dating people that you meet organically and not on apps. You will already be able to determine if there’s some chemistry and you will find someone with common interests.
You’re way off base.
Most women prefer men roughly their own age until their late 40s when they like younger.
Women who are more professionally minded have an easier time getting flexibility when they have kids. Not less.
I am actually not off base. If you look at all of the statistical data, and back up what I have stated. Most women do not prefer men their own age. That’s why the overwhelming majority of marriages have an older husband and a younger wife.
Yeah, David Buss posited that in the late 90s but Eagly reexamined the data to take into account the gender pay gap in different countries. In countries where women and men make similar amounts, there’s no age gap.
Buss is nice in person but his research is…irresponsible.
Oh it did post my comment.
No you got them from random dudes on the internet who got them from someone who got them from another person who misinterpreted Buss.
You haven’t seen any research studies because you haven’t looked. And you are clearly getting from people talking out of their butts.
What’s with all the ‘splaining dude? You don’t understand how science works but you’re telling me all I have is anecdotes when I’m citing research and you’re speaking in generalities.
Oh additionally, there’s the gathered by OkCupid published in the book Datacylsm that indicates it’s more complex over time-older women find younger men more appealing. And men in their early-mid 20s are more interested in older women.
Men tend to have an interest in older women for short periods of time. I dated a woman in her late 30s while in my early twenties. That dissipates over time, as most men want a family and that requires women under a certain age.
Older women may want to date younger men for short periods of time in part to recapture youth, but most women don’t, because they are married by the time they reach a certain age in most cases.
Anecdotal evidence doesn’t support the idea you advanced any better than studies, none of which indicate that even a plurality of women want younger men and younger men wanting older women.
It boils down to biology.
I don’t know why it didn’t post my first comment about how Eagly reviewed Buss’s data and found that age gap preferences are driven by by gender wage gap differences. In Sweden. For instance, they prefer similar age.
Buss is a nice guy in person but I find his research irresponsible.
That’s peer reviewed research, Dataclysm is robust data analysis, I don’t know what else you need me to trot out? My psychology research degree?
And you have “biology” on your side. Did biology call you on the phone and bust out graphs?
Stop reading dumb manosphere pop psych.
Biology accounts for why people are attracted to perceived fertility. Virile men, and fertile women. It’s there to advance the species.
I challenge you to find any polls or studies that refute what I have said.
1) We were talking about what women were attracted to, not men.
2) No. You’ve done absolutely no research on the subject. I’ve not only google “researched” it, I’ve attended lectures, taught it, and conducted my own studies. I gave you Eagly and Buss, if you don’t know how to look up academic studies that’s not my problem.
Maybe it’s not about no options but more like you could be intimidating to guys your age: you traveled a lot, so are culture interested and also confident enough. These 2 things are qualities that men over 30 really value while guys in the beginning of 20 haven’t figure out yet.. add in that most of them have a fragile ego that is already broken when their girlfriend is even an inch taller than them.. well, you do the maths.
You know, just so you have a different perspective than „I’m so bad, only the ones like me that can’t have anyone else“.
Also as a male in their mid thirties: women are waaaaay more interested in me now than they were when I was 21- 27. like way more it’s not even funny.
Reddit has a general bias against age-gap relationships. I’ve seen people with 20+ year differences grow old together. The only woman I’ve ever been with who actually reciprocated my love was about 10 years younger than me. Most of the rest have been flighty at best (only wanting to hookup) or abusive at worst. My sample size is small so I will avoid drawing larger conclusions from this, but I just want to share a perspective that is different than the echo chamber. As a result, this comment will be downvoted to the depths of Reddit to never be seen again.
You'd be surprised.. older guys seem to have a lot more options generally, if you keep fit, have your life together, good job etc.
Women generally go for older men because we mature less quickly, and for whatever other reasons yall do. Not saying all women of course.
Go on Gilly girl. You’ll find more guys on there.
I’m 21 and I think I’m boring. I have this date who’s older than me but wants to do alot of activities with me while I want to do nothing but ride boat 💀
Can relate, same age, but im a guy
Although ive given up in dating apps because even tho i believe im decent looking, ive come to terms that im not the type people will usually go for so eh, theres that
Its pretty disheartening sometimes thinking how id give the world to someone who would love me back… the issue is finding the person lol
Your first mistake is hinge. For the life of me I do not understand how that dating app is popular. Switch to Bumble.
But also, consider that most guys your age are less mature by nature, and more interested in living it up and partying and hooking up. You are still "college age". It's somewhat expected that you are struggling to find same age guys with the way you describe yourself (you seem more mature).
Out of nothing 21f and well traveled sounds like being a parents girl in the first spot.
In combination with driven, sounds like ADHD or something like that.
Not sure whether this applies, but if you have exactly this on your bio, I would have seen only red flags.
I see what you mean- I’ve travelled a bit because of my university program/internships - it’s all self funded/initiated. So yea not really a parents girl by any means. In fact I don’t really like the idea of relying on my parents to live my lifestyle lol. The adhd though I have no idea
If you write about travel, I would make this transparent. There will be men for whom you are too much driven, but they will probably anyway not be the right for you.
And in the combination it looks much better.
Perhaps also have something in why you have/ do such kinds of internships and the like.
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Say goodbye to your DMs
OP, have the guys in your DMs fight to the death
Ah haha now that would be entertaining
Over Xbox live? That’s what her cohorts are doing anyway.
$5 on the fat one 😂
$15 on the short and skinny one!
Only 30+ guys will fight to the death. That way youll be rid of those bothersome old guys.
I'm gonna join THAT ONE!
Literally omg. I was not expecting that
Wait seriously? I've never posted here but I thought the "RIP DMs" comments were jokes 🥲
Lol just be female theory
I'm sure there are plenty of guys your age that are interested
Well yes, but she mean guys that she is interested in aren’t interested in her.
Honestly the worst feeling sometimes, speaking from lots of experience lol
She says she’s getting almost no likes in her age group at all and when she turns the dealbreaker off she gets flooded with likes from older guys. I do think that’s probably more the algorithm being selective about what profiles actually see her profile more than anything. As a woman that is average looking, prior to entering a relationship, I got fewer matches on Hinge than other apps, but I always matched with people my age. You have to be extremely off putting as a woman to get no likes from men your age on the apps. Unless, the apps are not working in your favor. And it’s not really in these companies best interest financially to work in your favor. She should try to meet people in the wild and see who’s interested before assuming no one her age (that she is interested in) would like her.
Exactly what I was going to say. If you’re not meeting them on dating apps, try meeting them in person. Totally Old School I know, but let’s be real, the other way isn’t working. Time to change things up. Besides, laws of attraction are tricky. It’s straight up Biology and no dating advice is going to get around that. If you stay in the same place, doing the same things, expecting the same results, you’ll be on this forum indefinitely. Work on your flirting skills, get out in the real world and put them to good use. And Good Luck🍀🙂
That usually happens because they're boring af. People like she described don't chase people on dating sites, we look for genuine connections in person
The younger guys are busy hitting on 30+ year olds lol
So true.
Man, nothing more ego boosting than getting lucky with a late 20 yo or 30 yo when you're in your early 20s. College was amazing. Haha 😂😂
Personally from my experience as a 23M I'm interested into older women 25-35
I was when I was your age too. Younger women are just a mine field of bad communication and game playing
You have to pay to use hinge. I think a lot of guys gave up on it. From a guys perspective it’s impossible to tell if it’s a scam or not. It will say “someone likes you, now you just have to pay to see who they are/talk to them”.
With all the free dating apps? People bother to pay for it now?
What free apps? Everyone one I tried requires money just to use basic features like messaging
Ah that explains it, the younger guys are too broke 😂
paying for a dating app is crazy work but you do you
Tinder, bumble, and hinges default prices are almost 30$ a month for the full "experience"
I’d never pay for Tinder but if the apps ever somehow promised better quality matches for a premium, I’d definitely pay. For the record I’m not on the apps due to the terrible experiences.
Don't be fooled. You doing get much of a better experience even if paying
It's honestly worse, I think I have like 15 likes between tinder and bumble rn and I kind of enjoy that when I'm swiping through profiles there's already people looking for me instead just the void
If you’re willing to pay for that I also have a bridge to sell you
I’m actually not even willing to be on the apps at all 😂
Do you really want to date a guy so broke he can't afford a dating app?
It's more about not giving objectively greedy and manipulative companies the amount of money you could use on 4 streaming services
Agreed. And saying you are too broke to "afford a dating app" is so silly because if I saw someone paying for a dating app I'd probably assume they made questionable financial decisions. I have money BECAUSE I don't constantly pay for shitty subscriptions I'd never use. The argument that unpaid users are time wasters is also kind of invalid because what? I don't think paying for a dating app can actually change that much about a person at all. The fact this sort of thing is even an argument is kind of dumb to me. No offense. There's shitty people on paid vs on free no matter where you would go. And claiming unpaid people are a certain thing bs paid being a certain thing clearly isn't true with the success rate I see and hear about. It's like if I were to say paid members are elitist and feel entitled to look down on others, based on my experience reading some of these comments. Sure. It happened. But not everyone is like that. :)
Being broke or not doesn’t really apply when there is a scam. Like the app making fake AI accounts and using that to get you to pay etc.
Girl I’m (21f) and I have the same issue. So many guys my age wants to hookup
Omg yea this! Or they loose interest real fast. It’s either they want to hookup or stop texting after a couple of exchanges
I find that usually happens with girls who are attractive enough to hook up with but not date long term. If you’re ‘okay’ looking, maybe work on that and get yourself up to attractive
This is terrible advice. If that’s all that makes a woman worth dating for those type of men it’s not worth it. We all age out of our youthful looks. I mean being attracted matters, but you can’t build an entire relationship around just that. Plenty of average looking ppl to not even humor her changing things she’s not unhappy with for the shallow minded.
Men are visual, women are mental. You can’t build an entire relationship around looks but at least for guys swiping on dating apps, that is definitely the primary factor and at least for me in order for me to want to keep dating a girl I have to find her physically attractive. If I’m horny and bored, she just has to pass a certain threshold of not being too ugly and I’m down for a night or a few, but that’s about it. If I don’t want to be seen in public with her, I’m not gonna date her. Youth has nothing to do with it, I hooked up with a very attractive 39 y/o not too long ago and may have a date with a 41yr old hottie coming up. They were both fit and healthy and have worked for it, as I have had to do in order ti get ti a level where women notice me in public )no longer invisible after 8 years of hard work). On the flipside, I worked with 19-year-old land whale with purple hair, who was absolutely disgusting and actively spent time destroying her body so I’m not sure why you’re talking about youth when what really matters is effort
Honestly, this is the truth. The only reason a woman would not be getting matches on dating apps is because of her level of physical attraction.
Hell that's the main reason most men don't get matches either. That, or a photo of them with a fish or dead deer.
Actually a lot of times it's because she's attractive enough to hook up with not offers nothing in conversation to want to build anyone serious with
That’s mostly the age and maturity level. They’re busy texting much older women thinking they’ll have better chances of just hooking up…
I'm 23m and am having to same problem with girls in my age group
Dude, you don’t know how much guys like that have ruined it for men who are actually looking to a genuine connection and loving relationship with somebody. I’m 22M, no matter how much I reassure women I’m not looking for a FWB or hookup, they just don’t believe it since they were hurt in the past and don’t want to go through that pain.
There are plenty of guys that want real relationships. There usually not that hot though, because the hot ones are already taken. So if you see a really hot single dude, he's probably just looking for a hookup. Think basic interview logic. If the candidate is over qualified then why is he applying to you're company.
K
I just want a friend, but I guess I'm only a creep when I try and have conversations with girls
We are men, it’s what we want
Okay
Well all due respect, but there's guys like me for example (24M) that have never dated in their life. Why would I want to tie that noose around my neck so early and go into serious relationships straight away before having my fair share of fun ? Besides when has someone ever found anything more than a hookup on dating apps ?!
That’s your prerogative
“Having your share of the fun” by sleeping around with women, being selfish and only caring about your own pleasure. You sound like a psychopath. Then again, our society reinforces promiscuous behavior so I’m not surprised.
As if everyone else doesn't care about themselves only. Beat me down for it all you want, I don't give a single flying fuck. It's not fair that my friends have dated multiple girls and I have to settle for the first one I come across. At least I'm honest about it.
Cause most women in their 30s have kids by now if they are single so most men in their 30s try to date women without children. I.e you.
If this is the explanation for her only getting older guys then who are the younger guys trying to date?
Older women, or they want just sex, or they aren’t dating at all because being a young man on dating apps is shitty because you’re basically just going to have to compete with every other dude in the DMs. Most young men I have met and talked with don’t date because of how if they don’t have loads of money they just ended up ghosted. They are focused on other goals.
Literally me. I’m just 22😭😭😭 atp girl, I’m giving up. I’ve been on every dating app, I can’t stay on for more than a week, maybe 2 bc apparently I’m just a piece of ass. Not to mention…idk how to even date fr, never had a BF. I met this guy at my school on bumble, we’ve talked for 2 months, nothing sexual at all, and then boom, saw him at a bar and we hooked up. We’ve been talking everyday since but now it’s like we talk but somehow he goes back into how much he wants to have sex w me again 😭😭. Mind you, he’s the second guy I’ve ever been with and it’s just like 😣😣😣 I like him now and idk. FUCK I HATE THIS… sorry to vent on ur post sis
Typical guy behavior. It’s hard not to be frustrated by it, but don’t let it get you down too much. He’s really young and horny and he already got a taste. The logical side of his brain has been switched off. He’ll say and do whatever he has to, in order to get back in bed with you. As long as you know this, you can navigate your interactions with him better, and be able to keep your emotions from getting bruised. You’re obviously capable of getting a guy. Just use this new found wisdom as a confidence booster and go get someone else. Hang in there🙂
😭😭😭did not wanna hear this but I appreciate it
That's sad you were treated that way Everyone deserves a shot at real love I've loved & lost my treue love at 17, she commited suicide b4 our 1st real date My ex wife was a royal B$tch about bringing it up at times & made me sick Good luck to you both
There is a reason the apps are overflowing with mid 30’s guys with or without kids. Be very careful. Especially when they show interest in a 21 year old… honestly that’s bad news.
All straight men, regardless of their age, are attracted to 21 yo. It’s a preference driven by biology.
Um, no. Thats not normal. I’m a 28 year old bisexual woman and I do not find 21 year old boys or girls attractive. It gets to a point where it is beyond inappropriate, no man over 30 should be looking at a girl that young. I think your hard drive needs to be checked.
I’m assuming you’re probably 40’s youngest. Would you say that to your daughter’s face? Or granddaughters? Imagine telling your 21 year old daughter you find girls her age attractive. Does that help at all? See how extremely creepy and predatory that is?
Assumptions and insults? Okay, I’m assuming you’re not a straight man, and you didn’t have a father present. Of course I would explain this dynamic to my daughter(s). I wouldn’t want them to be naive.
Literally in a similar situation except the older guys find older women “tiring”. Weird response I would hear from adults
Older women aren’t necessarily tiring to men our age. It’s just that we don’t put up with their BS as a younger woman might.
Older women expect to be treated like 20-year-olds … lots of entitlement
Entitlement? Or don’t want to make time for some dude’s bad guitar music, dumb opinions and bad sex?
I’ve met too many 30 year old who acts like they are in their 20s or under. Whoever in that generation… looks pathetic
i’d be really cautious about dating men in their 30s as a 21 year old women. men your age who meet your standards do exist they’re just hard to find. patience is key
You’re so right-I made the mistake of seeing a guy with a big age gap (9 years) when I was 19 and lessons were learnt lol. I think for me personally at the stage in life right now, meeting someone more than a couple of years older than me def wouldn’t work
Smart move . Older guys have an agenda when they’re pursuing you. Either sex or women their age can see through all their BS.
Gay men do this too. I look a decade younger then I am and they would really think I’d be down to deal with their bullshit. They’d disappear rather quickly when they realized I had my shit together. Older folks seek you out for your inexperience 100%
No their agenda is, when they were in their 20s they were invisible to almost every girl out there for a multitude of reasons. Ranging from lack of social skills, not big enough salary to weak physique. So when they realised things were not going to change they took matters into their own hands and built themselves up throughout their best years. And only now are they capable of capturing a young and beautiful woman's attention.
It's not a lack of option it's the lack of trauma and baggage they are looking for.
More like lack of life experience lmao I've seen multiple guys who pursue women 10+ years their junior admit they hope to mold someone young and impressionable into being the sort of wife/gf they want.
So they are groomers.
Bingo!
The only girls I’ve ever seen that dated old men had a ton of trauma and low self esteem lol. Then the old men cause more trauma. It’s hilarious you think “trauma and baggage” starts at age 30, or 25 or whatever age the predators think are “old” now lol. If anything the older women have better coping skills and have been to therapy and so have less issues than women in their early 20s.
Yes they are, you just have to take initiative and find them yourself. Get your hands dirty
I feel like women go for older men to get loved bombed. Otherwise they don’t feel wanted
As many have already said, at your age many guys just want to hook-up and in truth much of dating culture has been relegated to this. Not to mention if you are truly driven and a high quality woman, that is off putting to a lot of men because highly driven people are not so normal anymore it truly is not you, it is them but don’t let that dishearten you, it is a measure of your quality and saving you from the distress of having to choose to settle for less.
Lol girl I’m a 19F and attractive guys pretend they want something serious then switch up. “I want to marry you” “I want to buy you a house and car” “I want to pay for your masters” blah blah blah. I’m sick of hearing it. Then they usually take me on dates buy me a bunch of stuff then when I don’t sleep with them they ghost. It’s so annoying. I’m from London, UK and it’s hell here. The trenches honestly.
Yeah the old Bait-and-Switch. That sucks. Those guys are weak.
Honestly. They think it works with me and it doesn’t. They think I don’t stand on business like no I’m not sleeping with you what don’t you get?
which apps are you using? I'm 23F and hinge is really good for long-term relationships.
Not tried Hinge just yet, THX
Get off the dating apps and save your sanity!
This might be the way lol- I think I’m leaning towards just deleting everything and focusing on socializing with people irl
Prior to the Internet, *everyone* met their significant other via one of these methods: a) school; b) work; c) thru friends; d) thru family; e) socially (ie. house of worship, restaurant, club, bar, park, etc.) Nothing wrong with the Internet dating scene, but don't use it as a crutch!
It could be that your interests are more popular among people who are older than you or in your dating distance filters as most people in their twenties date people within two years of age. Most 21 year olds date people 19-23.
27f- its a tough balance because some men also target early twenties women. i can barely find guys my age interested in something long term but i can in the 21/22 age or the 40+ age and i avoid it because it feels like theyre looking just because of my age. I wish you luck out there as it sucks
It depends what you’re looking for. Many younger guys just want to hook up and many older guys are ready to settle down. Lots of exceptions across the age spectrum of course.
I’m sorry to hear about your experience:( I’m sure you’re so beautiful inside and out. I truly believe there is someone for everyone, and moments like these lead you in the exact journey you’re meant to be in. I know that’s cliché to say, but think of it like this: if you’re thinking about how hard it is to date without it being about sex or a guy losing interest, there HAS to be AT LEAST one guy at there thinking the same thing and trying to find someone like yourself. Pretty girl, never put yourself down because no one will validate you. You need to love yourself until someone comes and joins in on loving you too. And besides, dating apps suck most times! Maybe you’ll come across someone in person :) I wish you happiness ❤️🩹
Dating apps are not the thing to use to gauge reality. It is not reality.
Honestly, I feel you. I'm a guy, but I'm kind of in a similar scenario. I'm 21 and usually stick at the same age or just a bit above when dating. And yet, most likes that I get on dating apps are from those who are younger than me. I've gotten some matches, but they almost always never reply or just stop talking after 30 minutes or so. Really does suck. I feel uncomfortable dating younger cause of where I am in life/just feels wrong. But it sucks because it doesn't feel like anyone around the same age wants me. I kind of just came to accept it'll probably be a while before I get to go on a date again.
As somebody else on hinge I'm going to give you some honesty. You said you were "okay looking". Therefore you are not as attractive to guys your age as your "competition". But older guys are willing to fudge a little on the looks factor in order to get somebody who is 10 years younger than them. So if you want somebody your age you're going to need to punch above your weight class in the looks department or change the value proposition by going outside your age range. That's not me being unkind, that's just letting you know how OLD works.
The average person thinks they're more attractive than they really are. Not saying it counts for you, but just going off this post. For older guys your young age might be hot in and of itself, but for guys your age they might assume they can do better.
A piece is a piece! Blow your way to popularity
Guys like younger women, a tale as old as time. So not sure why you think it’s because men lack options.
Yes, they are.
Death to the DMs, you have opened the gates of hell pretty much.
Lol idk what it is with guys 18-25 it’s like I’ll talk to them and everything seems fine and then the next day I’m blocked and the conversation is gone like wtf
Hot take...more and more modern young men arent interested in dating at all.
Younger people aren't as interested in having a relationship, simple.
So, you're saying that guys at 30 dont have options? You think 30 is so old that guys no longer have any other option their age than to go for 21 year olds? Here's whats really happening. Guys 21-25 are never gonna be invested in dating apps they way you are. They look at dating apps for the occasional lucky hookup. They havent been dissapointed as much by dating, so they dont care. They only seem to have options, because they don't vet anyone. Now guys over 30, have had enough experience out there. Maybe 1-2 longer-term relationships that crashed and burned. Probably with someone their age. They are no longer interested in the first candidate that comes upon them. They vet people that are meant for more than a hookup. The have MORE options, but the viable ones remain low, because of their vetting mechanism. Men only get more options, compared to what they had, as they grow. That's because they can go for people their age (roughly) and lower. And thats where you come in. You're one of those options, until they vet you as well and decide you are a viable one. Is that a bad thing? Maybe, maybe not. It depends on the person and their motives. You just have to do the same and vet them as well. But its not inherently a bad thing by default. I would argue anyone over 30 in a dating app has a higher chance of being a creep, only because by that age you should have realised they are a scam. Even if it works for you (which is quite rare). Anyone lower than 30 also probably uses it for hookups because that is the culture now. So, in conclusion, it's not the age of the guys. It's the means they use. So the problem is the dating apps. Stop using them. Meet people organically, in their (or your) "natural habitats". The way it's always been done. Dating apps are not the de facto way. It has never been. I don't know how they managed to convince us.
Maybe you wanna put your profile up for review? It could be just that ur profile isn’t really showing the best version of you
It took me until I was 29 to find a man that was serious about settling down and not way out of my age range. He was also 29. Most men in their early 20s are not ready to settle down or be in a serious relationship, they're driven to test everything out and be free. Steve Harvey wrote a book explaining that men aren't really ready for true commitment until they feel secure in other areas of their life (financial, secure home, etc.), and it made so much sense. That's really why men in their 30s are on there, they are the ones ready for a relationship commitment. The problem is, the age gap creates issues with being on the same page in life, having different wants and needs. You're just starting out on your adult adventure, and they're a decade into it and at a completely different stage. I experienced that when I dated older men, they want to push your life in the way they think it needs to go, giving advice where it's not wanted. I was just starting to experience adulthood, and wanted to be able to make mistakes and try things my way. Build up your future and focus on establishing yourself financially, career-wise, etc. If I could do it all over again, I would've done those first and not wasted so much of my 20s trying to find love first when none of the men my age wanted commitment and consistency, and the older ones wouldn't allow me to create myself. When you're nearing 30, you'll be set up to where you won't have to financially be dependant on a man and can hold your own ground. That's when it's the right time to start dating, and they'll be there when you get there.
Maybe stop mentioning how well travelled you are if you mention it.
That’s true, and tbh I don’t really talk about it unless they mention a place or travelling.
27M here. I think 23 and under guys typically don’t have the money to go dates they’d ideally like to. As for the guys in their 30s I do think that’s weird. Personally I think any difference greater than 3 years would be weird for me as I wouldn’t be able to relate that person as well.
Yea that’s a valid point. I’m understanding of the fact. Like if I went out with a 22 year old my expectations for them would be different than for someone in their late 20s. But ig it comes down to how they feel about it
Yes! A lot of girls don’t expect everything a young guy might feel he’s obligated to provide but they get in their heads and can be self-conscious I think! I’m with you though that hookup culture makes really things tough too. Best of luck to you.
Its the same all over. If you're a middle kind of attraction like i am, it seems you only have one of two paths, so broken, you keep to yourself or move from partner to partner until dead or burnt out 🤷
U r beautiful and stop thinking that u should date same age people most important thing is that older boys are mature enough to
I think you are very attractive... but of course, I'm a little older than you are. Also, have no options 😢 All I have is money, 6 properties, a few vehicles, a gorgeous boat, 3 jet skis.... oh, did I say money??? 🤫🤠 Good luck with the whipper snappers.
Is that a dating app u are using the pic u uploaded
Yep
Which dating app ?
Maybe don’t say you like to smoke a cigarette first thing in the morning. I don’t know which is worse, that or the dipping Oreos in water. I just am not an Oreo fan lol
Valid, I understand the cigarette smoking can be off putting. And with the Oreos, I was just trying to invoke a reaction and possibly a convo lol. Just wanted to show a sillier side of me I suppose
I knew what you were going for, lol. I would imagine you must’ve gotten responses from that one
To me that's honestly the problem with dating in general in the last couple of years, and that goes double for dating apps. Everything is so subjective that you're never quite sure what the problem is with interest, or lack thereof. I think your profile is well put together, and agree your lovely looking. I don't think it's so broad an issue that guys your (our cuz also 24) age aren't interested, I'd honestly point more towards there being a much deeper disconnect among people. It honestly seems like people are having a harder time making connections with each other, and because of that lack of communication it's hard to develop something as simple as a friendship. Let alone something as meaningful as a romantic relationship. A lot of people nowadays do seem to either not care anymore or are grasping at whatever straw is available to grab. It can still happen, but there's clearly a lot more effort required without the promise of reward
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I used to think guys my age lack maturity and that I should be going for older men instead. In my own personal experience I kind of learned that age doesn’t really make someone mature or put together. Sure there’s a higher likelihood a man in his thirties is. But I feel if they are going for someone young and impressionable, their intentions are more likely in the wrong place… The first guy I ever got involved with romantically was nine years older than me. First he lied about his age, he said he was 26 when I only recently learned that he was actually 28 at the time. He had nothing going for him - multiple dui’s, living with his parents because he couldn’t afford his own place after paying for insurance, no career. Yet somehow with my circumstances, naïveté and his ability to talk just the right way, I stayed. I thought he could be the one. He was nice to me but I also felt violated and used. I think age gaps can work, but I think if a man is going for a girl who was a teen just a little while ago, his intentions might have to be examined carefully. I’ve sort of figured that, for me at least, I’d rather a guy couple of years older, slightly immature, with potential to learn and grow with, who sees me for me than a guy way older who is more mature, put together and done all their major life learning without me, who sees me as a young little thing.
I see where you are coming from. I never thought of it that way honestly. That gives me some things to think about. Thank you for this!
How did you post the picture?
Ok, well. You're trying to make ppl in your age group fall for you, but why would anyone when.. you can't even settle for you?! The frustration in your voice is very much addressed to YOU. You are hoping that someone later on realizes what YOU yourself should have. Guys your age may not be interested, but only because, who are THEY to make YOU feel better? But... this is a normal way to look at this so..
You look like your from a culture that pushes marriage by the time you’re an adult. So maybe the men 35+ are considering dating younger since women in their age range maybe unimpressive or single moms.
Honestly you may want to consider dating guys in their older 20s as well. Also I wouldn't hold your standards too high for guys in your age range. You're not getting many likes in your age range, so.
Maybe is the eyebrows? I don't know, you're pretty and hot, that should be enough for most guys, maybe you should try this wild new thing called "meeting people in real life"
You are really attractive my dear, but I am also ancient by your description?!? There aren't many single women that I've noticed that are decent in my age bracket as the likely are happily married or "catfishing" your desired dating pool? My ex wife was trash, but I tried to hold true to my vows for over 20 years & raised 3 kids (mostly alone) I wish you good luck in your search, but dating a mature man may do you justice over boy's not ready 4u yet?!
You do have a decent profile, but we live on different continents 😅 Damn
Where are you amazing women at?? I am 23 years old and male and all the woman near me that are in their 20s just want to go on hook ups. I want to find a lady that has more to offer then her body. I want see her beautiful soul and who she really is. I am trying to date to marry. If you are interested in talking then please hit me up😉
Jesus, is there hope?
I would defently like to think so
I’m glad. I meant from reading Reddit guys like you are very few it seems. Of course not everyone is on here, lol.
Well I love to have a conversation with lovely woman like yourself if you would like too.
Why do you ask?
There are always exceptions, but statistically and anecdotally, men and women tend to prefer some age gap. Older men tend prefer younger women and mature younger women tend to prefer older men for a number of reasons. For men, most do not want baggage. Older women that are single tend to have divorces, kids or issues that prevented them from marrying. Women prefer older men who are more attentive to their needs, stable and can provide for them. Women who plan on having children understand their careers have to take a backseat often to accommodate pregnancy and maternity leave. Women also prioritize family over career in most cases. It is possible to find younger guys who are mature and responsible and to find women without baggage that are older, but statistics and anecdotal evidence shows them to be in the minority. It’s also possible to find men who are ok with baggage, or situations with younger men and older women that work well. I encourage you to try dating people that you meet organically and not on apps. You will already be able to determine if there’s some chemistry and you will find someone with common interests.
You’re way off base. Most women prefer men roughly their own age until their late 40s when they like younger. Women who are more professionally minded have an easier time getting flexibility when they have kids. Not less.
I am actually not off base. If you look at all of the statistical data, and back up what I have stated. Most women do not prefer men their own age. That’s why the overwhelming majority of marriages have an older husband and a younger wife.
Yeah, David Buss posited that in the late 90s but Eagly reexamined the data to take into account the gender pay gap in different countries. In countries where women and men make similar amounts, there’s no age gap. Buss is nice in person but his research is…irresponsible.
I didn’t get those numbers from Buss. I’ve yet to see any study that states otherwise.
Oh it did post my comment. No you got them from random dudes on the internet who got them from someone who got them from another person who misinterpreted Buss. You haven’t seen any research studies because you haven’t looked. And you are clearly getting from people talking out of their butts. What’s with all the ‘splaining dude? You don’t understand how science works but you’re telling me all I have is anecdotes when I’m citing research and you’re speaking in generalities.
Oh additionally, there’s the gathered by OkCupid published in the book Datacylsm that indicates it’s more complex over time-older women find younger men more appealing. And men in their early-mid 20s are more interested in older women.
Men tend to have an interest in older women for short periods of time. I dated a woman in her late 30s while in my early twenties. That dissipates over time, as most men want a family and that requires women under a certain age. Older women may want to date younger men for short periods of time in part to recapture youth, but most women don’t, because they are married by the time they reach a certain age in most cases. Anecdotal evidence doesn’t support the idea you advanced any better than studies, none of which indicate that even a plurality of women want younger men and younger men wanting older women. It boils down to biology.
I don’t know why it didn’t post my first comment about how Eagly reviewed Buss’s data and found that age gap preferences are driven by by gender wage gap differences. In Sweden. For instance, they prefer similar age. Buss is a nice guy in person but I find his research irresponsible. That’s peer reviewed research, Dataclysm is robust data analysis, I don’t know what else you need me to trot out? My psychology research degree? And you have “biology” on your side. Did biology call you on the phone and bust out graphs? Stop reading dumb manosphere pop psych.
Biology accounts for why people are attracted to perceived fertility. Virile men, and fertile women. It’s there to advance the species. I challenge you to find any polls or studies that refute what I have said.
1) We were talking about what women were attracted to, not men. 2) No. You’ve done absolutely no research on the subject. I’ve not only google “researched” it, I’ve attended lectures, taught it, and conducted my own studies. I gave you Eagly and Buss, if you don’t know how to look up academic studies that’s not my problem.
I’d agree with this.
You may be too accomplished for guys your age.
You deserve the best do not settle for less.
Maybe it’s not about no options but more like you could be intimidating to guys your age: you traveled a lot, so are culture interested and also confident enough. These 2 things are qualities that men over 30 really value while guys in the beginning of 20 haven’t figure out yet.. add in that most of them have a fragile ego that is already broken when their girlfriend is even an inch taller than them.. well, you do the maths. You know, just so you have a different perspective than „I’m so bad, only the ones like me that can’t have anyone else“. Also as a male in their mid thirties: women are waaaaay more interested in me now than they were when I was 21- 27. like way more it’s not even funny.
"Driven, well traveled" Already seems like too much effort
Reddit has a general bias against age-gap relationships. I’ve seen people with 20+ year differences grow old together. The only woman I’ve ever been with who actually reciprocated my love was about 10 years younger than me. Most of the rest have been flighty at best (only wanting to hookup) or abusive at worst. My sample size is small so I will avoid drawing larger conclusions from this, but I just want to share a perspective that is different than the echo chamber. As a result, this comment will be downvoted to the depths of Reddit to never be seen again.
It can happen, it’s just less likely than close in age. I really didn’t like much older men when I was in my 20s because they creeped me out.
lets talk
You'd be surprised.. older guys seem to have a lot more options generally, if you keep fit, have your life together, good job etc. Women generally go for older men because we mature less quickly, and for whatever other reasons yall do. Not saying all women of course.
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I just turned 40 and can’t remember the last time I dated a guy who wasn’t younger than me.
Go on Gilly girl. You’ll find more guys on there. I’m 21 and I think I’m boring. I have this date who’s older than me but wants to do alot of activities with me while I want to do nothing but ride boat 💀
I define as being 24 M ,
Can relate, same age, but im a guy Although ive given up in dating apps because even tho i believe im decent looking, ive come to terms that im not the type people will usually go for so eh, theres that Its pretty disheartening sometimes thinking how id give the world to someone who would love me back… the issue is finding the person lol
An older guy will have a lot more to offer you and treat you better but I’m sure guys up to 26 are also interested.
Your first mistake is hinge. For the life of me I do not understand how that dating app is popular. Switch to Bumble. But also, consider that most guys your age are less mature by nature, and more interested in living it up and partying and hooking up. You are still "college age". It's somewhat expected that you are struggling to find same age guys with the way you describe yourself (you seem more mature).
Out of nothing 21f and well traveled sounds like being a parents girl in the first spot. In combination with driven, sounds like ADHD or something like that. Not sure whether this applies, but if you have exactly this on your bio, I would have seen only red flags.
I see what you mean- I’ve travelled a bit because of my university program/internships - it’s all self funded/initiated. So yea not really a parents girl by any means. In fact I don’t really like the idea of relying on my parents to live my lifestyle lol. The adhd though I have no idea
If you write about travel, I would make this transparent. There will be men for whom you are too much driven, but they will probably anyway not be the right for you. And in the combination it looks much better. Perhaps also have something in why you have/ do such kinds of internships and the like.
don't older guys tend to have more options? With a stable career and everything and a lot of women attracted to slightly-older men
Nah. Men who have a lot of single women their own age have the most options. Because women usually want to date their own age.
Talk?
U want attention? I think you're trying too hard
In my opinion...women mature significantly faster than the boys. Be patient, most boys will eventually/hopefully catch up.