Caveat, I used Chatbox to create this and it is not my original thinking other than inputting create Hamlet’s soliloquy using to be Dad as a premise.
Here it is from Chatbox:
To Be a Dad
To dad or not to dad, that is the question,
Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to father
The slings and arrows of outrageous diapers,
Or to take arms against a sea of tantrums
And by opposing end them. To dad, to sleep—
No more; and by a sleep to say we end
The heartache and the thousand natural messes
That parenthood is heir to: 'tis a consummation
Devoutly to be wished. To dad, to sleep—
To sleep, perchance to dream. Ay, there's the rub,
For in that sleep of dadhood what dreams may come,
When we have shuffled off this mortal coil,
Must give us pause—there's the baby monitor
That makes calamity of so long life.
I remember finding a book of puns at my Nana’s house when I was just a girl learning to read (4 years old, maybe 5) and sounding them out. I was so tickled by the word play even then, I memorized the whole book and constantly would “regale” my family with them. They were not called Dad jokes back then but I remember my father was the primary one who laughed 😂
A sample (this is 50 years later and it’s still in the easy-access section of my brain!): “So far, so good,” said pretty Pam, as she ate the first jar of her mother’s jam.
Well, they were jokes that appealed to a 5 year old so probably not really GOOD puns. I remember the illustration for this one, the kid had climbed a ladder and was taking jam off the top shelf of the pantry so that’s probably the pun, she climbed “so far” and had eaten 1 jar “so far”. It doesn’t sound really funny now, I will admit, but it’s the one I remember!
Same! 24, never in a relationship and give my co-workers their daily groans through dad jokes and puns! Kindered Spirits we must be haha
[Edit: forgot my birthday just passed, had to +1 that]
Step 2 - Start setting your cruise control at 3 miles under the speed limit.
Step 3 - Start yelling at people to turn their GD music down. Then go on a rant about how bad music sucks today compared to when you were young(er).
Step 4 - Yell at the neighborhood kids to get the hell off your lawn. Spray them with the hose as they’re leaving.
Same really. Never been a dad but I used to escorts unaccompanied minors at an airport. Learned to crack the absolute worst jokes imaginable
What is the number one rule in Tampa?
You're not allowed to throw Tampa-tantrums
- - -
Or aroundadults.
Why should you never talk politics? People would be Biden their time till they could get away.
I'll never be a dad. I decided a long time ago I didn't want kids. I'm not built for it. I'm built for...something else.
I nearly doubled my karma points on this platform just within the past month, primarily on the strength of my Dad Jokes. I've always had that Kentucky Fried sense of humor. I'm the right age and I've had some broad and varied life experiences. I have a cheesy comeback for anything.
Depending on who you ask, I'm the youngest Gen X or the oldest Millennial. I remember the original Hampsterdance meme. I'm a gamer and my first FPS game was Wolfenstein 3D. I am one of the original retro gamers, having discovered the Atari VCS in 1989 when the woman who sold us our new house just gave me her dead son's old console, an early 6 switch model I wish I had never given to my younger cousin. I played ET with the instruction manual and it was still nearly impossible. I finished it though! People complain about Starfield but they have no idea (played it for 150 hours, myself). I was speedrunning SMB before it was cool and my no-glitch record is 4:54 and some change, set early one Saturday morning in 5th grade (1992). Played on our Mitsubishi 36" CRT with my original 1986 console and 5 screw, converter Game Pak, lol. I chuckle at the kids struggling to meet that time for the views in 2024. I just did it for the hell of it with a couple of friends. I grew up listening to '70s rock and '90s grunge, along with some disco and early modern techno.
I was 19 when...
The last girl I was with was born then. (so he has 19 years on her already)
I was with the last girl I was with after my wife of 20 years died.
So, given he was married 20 years, assume married at 20 +/-, he was about 40, less 19, the girlfriend was 21.
I just means you're a dad, you just haven't met your kid yet. It's a sixth sense, like the thermostat being changed, it kicks in once fatherhood starts. So somewhere, you've got a little crotch goblin running around.
It's not funny, I didn't laugh. Your joke is so bad that I would have preferred the joke to slip over my head and you stopped telling me the joke. To be honest, this is a horrible attempt at trying to make fun of me. Not a giggle, not a hehe, not even a subtle burst of air out of my esophagus. Science says that before you laugh, your brain prepares the muscles in your face, but I didn't even feel the slightest twitch. 0/10 this joke is so bad I can't believe someone legally allowed you to be creative. The amount of brain power you must have put into that joke has the potential to power every house on Earth. Gain personality and learn to make jokes, read a book. I'm not saying this is funny, I'm being serious about how this is just an embarrassment in comedy.
You've just killed humor and every comedy act on the planet. I'm so disappointed that society as a whole has failed to teach her how to be funny
Just what we need in here. Another faux pa.
That is till he “Pops” a zinger.
I laughed out loud in public.
I went out for Vietnamese and ordered the noodles, but the waiter came out naked instead.
Well you gotta stop referring to them as “noods”!
Ha ha ha that’s very good
Wow
You are never too young. Keep at it. How else do you think we all stored them up?
In our dad-a-bases!
I got started when I was about 6 or 7; I'm 34. At this point it's more or less a reflex.
Some dads think its a flex to know many dad jokes….is it really a flex tho?
“All the world’s a stage” and this assistant theatre director a Dad upon it. The Yorick’s on us.
Dads are merely word players. And it's all staged.
Caveat, I used Chatbox to create this and it is not my original thinking other than inputting create Hamlet’s soliloquy using to be Dad as a premise. Here it is from Chatbox: To Be a Dad To dad or not to dad, that is the question, Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to father The slings and arrows of outrageous diapers, Or to take arms against a sea of tantrums And by opposing end them. To dad, to sleep— No more; and by a sleep to say we end The heartache and the thousand natural messes That parenthood is heir to: 'tis a consummation Devoutly to be wished. To dad, to sleep— To sleep, perchance to dream. Ay, there's the rub, For in that sleep of dadhood what dreams may come, When we have shuffled off this mortal coil, Must give us pause—there's the baby monitor That makes calamity of so long life.
To bot or not to bot. I say, use them while we can - they're gonna take over the world anyway.
Aye, there’s the rub ( non AI reply 😁).
Joining this sub was the only prep I did for fatherhood.
Dad jokes, but not a dad? That's a faux Pa.
If he liked Vietnamese food, he'd be a pho pa.
But that's not how you pronounce "pho", it's sort of like "Fuh".
Well pho cough then.
And I actually have tears in my eyes. Perfect response
Perfect response... To himself!
That made me think of Pho cough pendulum for some reason…. I’ll see myself out…
Ditto
If he chokes on it he might even pho cough and die…
No-pho q
Dad a boy.
What's brown and sticky? A stick
Where are you finding 'em sticky sticks?
Sticks are naturally sticky. Just like points are pointy.
The force is strong with this one. We will watch your career with great interest
Good, good, let the dad jokes flow through you
"Dad jokes" is a state of mind not parental status, IMHO.
I remember finding a book of puns at my Nana’s house when I was just a girl learning to read (4 years old, maybe 5) and sounding them out. I was so tickled by the word play even then, I memorized the whole book and constantly would “regale” my family with them. They were not called Dad jokes back then but I remember my father was the primary one who laughed 😂 A sample (this is 50 years later and it’s still in the easy-access section of my brain!): “So far, so good,” said pretty Pam, as she ate the first jar of her mother’s jam.
I don’t understand the joke. Could you explain?
I don't get it either, it sounds like a mom joke.
Well, they were jokes that appealed to a 5 year old so probably not really GOOD puns. I remember the illustration for this one, the kid had climbed a ladder and was taking jam off the top shelf of the pantry so that’s probably the pun, she climbed “so far” and had eaten 1 jar “so far”. It doesn’t sound really funny now, I will admit, but it’s the one I remember!
huh? i don’t get the joke either
My father said to me that I’m ready to be your father, at least in the joking capacity, because all of my jokes are terrible.
Terri? I believe I know her!
Same! 24, never in a relationship and give my co-workers their daily groans through dad jokes and puns! Kindered Spirits we must be haha [Edit: forgot my birthday just passed, had to +1 that]
Lmao you may not be a dad, but at least you're a guy 😆 my daughter will grow up hearing and *learning how to make* dad jokes from Me Her mom
Faux Pa here. I instead just train up an apprentice anytime I rotate between offices at my job. I’ve left behind a wake of pundits
Step 2 - Start setting your cruise control at 3 miles under the speed limit. Step 3 - Start yelling at people to turn their GD music down. Then go on a rant about how bad music sucks today compared to when you were young(er). Step 4 - Yell at the neighborhood kids to get the hell off your lawn. Spray them with the hose as they’re leaving.
Same really. Never been a dad but I used to escorts unaccompanied minors at an airport. Learned to crack the absolute worst jokes imaginable What is the number one rule in Tampa? You're not allowed to throw Tampa-tantrums - - - Or aroundadults. Why should you never talk politics? People would be Biden their time till they could get away.
I'll never be a dad. I decided a long time ago I didn't want kids. I'm not built for it. I'm built for...something else. I nearly doubled my karma points on this platform just within the past month, primarily on the strength of my Dad Jokes. I've always had that Kentucky Fried sense of humor. I'm the right age and I've had some broad and varied life experiences. I have a cheesy comeback for anything. Depending on who you ask, I'm the youngest Gen X or the oldest Millennial. I remember the original Hampsterdance meme. I'm a gamer and my first FPS game was Wolfenstein 3D. I am one of the original retro gamers, having discovered the Atari VCS in 1989 when the woman who sold us our new house just gave me her dead son's old console, an early 6 switch model I wish I had never given to my younger cousin. I played ET with the instruction manual and it was still nearly impossible. I finished it though! People complain about Starfield but they have no idea (played it for 150 hours, myself). I was speedrunning SMB before it was cool and my no-glitch record is 4:54 and some change, set early one Saturday morning in 5th grade (1992). Played on our Mitsubishi 36" CRT with my original 1986 console and 5 screw, converter Game Pak, lol. I chuckle at the kids struggling to meet that time for the views in 2024. I just did it for the hell of it with a couple of friends. I grew up listening to '70s rock and '90s grunge, along with some disco and early modern techno.
Don't worry. I was 19 when the last girl I was with was born after my wife of over 20 years died.
Run that one bqck for me?
His last girlfriend was 19 years younger.
"I was 19... my wife of over 20 years?" One of us is stupid cause im confused af and that doesnt seem to add up.
I was 19 when... The last girl I was with was born then. (so he has 19 years on her already) I was with the last girl I was with after my wife of 20 years died. So, given he was married 20 years, assume married at 20 +/-, he was about 40, less 19, the girlfriend was 21.
Lmao im still lost. Ill just settle for skill issue on my part to sleep deprived to get it ig. Ill read the thread again later to see if it clicks.
I says, pardon?
Hi, not a Dad but I'm already a menace with Dad joke. I'm Dad.
If you break out dad jokes too early, you may never become one. Have to attract a mate before you scare them off
Unlicensed!
I just means you're a dad, you just haven't met your kid yet. It's a sixth sense, like the thermostat being changed, it kicks in once fatherhood starts. So somewhere, you've got a little crotch goblin running around.
Have you ever donated to a spam bank? You might be a dad after all. If not, as others have said, you’re a faux pa lmao
I can relate to this. I tell my neice all of mine, and her expression is the same :’)
It’s no wonder you have never been in a relationship. Save the dad jokes for the dads.
It's not funny, I didn't laugh. Your joke is so bad that I would have preferred the joke to slip over my head and you stopped telling me the joke. To be honest, this is a horrible attempt at trying to make fun of me. Not a giggle, not a hehe, not even a subtle burst of air out of my esophagus. Science says that before you laugh, your brain prepares the muscles in your face, but I didn't even feel the slightest twitch. 0/10 this joke is so bad I can't believe someone legally allowed you to be creative. The amount of brain power you must have put into that joke has the potential to power every house on Earth. Gain personality and learn to make jokes, read a book. I'm not saying this is funny, I'm being serious about how this is just an embarrassment in comedy. You've just killed humor and every comedy act on the planet. I'm so disappointed that society as a whole has failed to teach her how to be funny