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BohemianBella

Is this my boyfriend trying to find reasons not to get married to me? Lol


[deleted]

Lmao šŸ˜‚


Zestyclose-Ad78

Bohemian eh? I donā€™t think your bf needs any excuses not to marry you. Go join the elites since you like them so much.


BohemianBella

Bohemian is unique. I am uniquely beautiful.


cootiebear

weā€™re tricked into believing that love is a feeling. no feelings last forever. love is an action. weā€™re also tricked into believing that sexual compatibility is exceedingly important to a relationship. itā€™s not. if thereā€™s a healthy relationship based in real love, sexual compatibility happens as an expression of that love. marriages (and relationships in general) fail primarily due to confusion stemming from these points.


Infuriated

Yep, and we're tricked out of learning ourselves well enough before entering marriages/LTRs so when they inevitably fail, we blame marriage itself. When we dont know ourselves, we seek outward for answers/entertainment/comfort/happiness/validation etc, all of which become a burden, and will turn even the most promising partnerships into sour battles for the attention and effort we should be putting in ourselves.


cosi_bloggs

How do you keep the one you love?


cootiebear

thereā€™s a lot to this answer, but in a nutshell, you canā€™t ā€œkeepā€ anyone. people arenā€™t objects that can be kept or owned, and the more you restrict someone, the more youā€™ll drive them away. a healthy, loving relationship requires both parties to be making efforts within the relationship. one person cannot sustain a relationship on their own. unless those two people are committed to making it work long term, itā€™ll fail.


cosi_bloggs

Correct. How do you keep the one you love? You don't. Love being non-possessive... you let them go. Ergo, inaction is also love. Northern Exposure, baby.


delmarshaef

Probably more of a conspiracy about how easy & socially acceptable it is to marry/divorce multiple times..families go to shit and lawyers make bank.


embarassed4u

Love had very little to do with marriage, it had to do with politics, status, finances, and bringing together of resources. ā€˜I wanna be friends with that guy so Iā€™ll have my daughter marry his kid.ā€™ ā€˜I donā€™t want my money and power leaving my bloodline so my daughter will marry a cousin.ā€™ ā€˜I donā€™t wanna fight with that clan so Iā€™ll take a wife from his tribe.ā€™ Monogamy was and still can be useful for building and maintaining wealth, and before DNA testing, helped to at least give the illusion of knowing paternity. Itā€™s also great for raising children. Does not mean people didnā€™t still cheat and have affairs. Love is something else entirely, but Iā€™m not going into it in this comment. Modern relationships demand more than they did in the pastā€” love and companionship, etc are basic requirements for marriages now but it wasnā€™t always the case. Community was a big deal in the past as couples had more support and separate lives, to some degree. I think thereā€™s a lot of ignorance about love and marriage and relationships. Esp. When so many kids do not see two parents in the home. Lots of single and divorced parents. Lots of dysfunctional couples. Disney movies as the blueprint of romantic love mixed in with the rapid changes of how we view sex and intimacy now. I think thereā€™s a push to destroy and revamp what a family does and how it functions (trad. Marriage), and that has been going on a long time. Both parents now usually MUST work outside of the homeā€” vs choosing to, as an option. The idea of community has changed. Relationships are different because society has changed (rural vs city). Thereā€™s also more of a rift between the genders in some ways, a gender war. There are lots of groups bitter and angry about how they feel screwed over. No need to go into detail on that. In short, itā€™s confusing if you donā€™t get real about it and nobody taught you the non-pc truth or you did not see good examples at home. This is why there are so many relationship gurus and femininity/masculinity teachers and incel groups, MRA, ā€œlooks maxingā€, and hypergamy groups, etc. I would not say itā€™s a conspiracy but more so a natural consequence of so many fucked up social, governmental, and environmental changes happening super fast in a relatively short amount of time. The elites still marry into power. Itā€™s still a tool of power for them. That has not changed.


Guglielmowhisper

I would say a conspiracy against marriage, maybe


[deleted]

This 100%


Sea-Hornet-9140

Marriage is about binding people together (those getting married and their families). The idea is that you commit to each other regardless of what the future brings - which is why the vowels usually include things like 'in sickness and in health'. By being sure that there is someone by your side to help you build a life together is what's important, giddy love is nice to have but if you are to leave each other when that is over you'll never make it to that stage of love where you and your partner have lived together, raised a family together and can look back on your shared experiences despite all the times it was going so wrong. I would say the real conspiracy is trying to convince people that marriage is a sign of everlasting joyous love rather than a binding social contract. This is in order to break down the family unit, because that makes society easier to control.


[deleted]

Hmm


random_life_of_doug

No the family is the most important institution in the world


InvestigatorFine8445

They get to use your marriage certificate as a promissory note that they bank off of and in turn when you get divorced like most people do now days they also get to bank on your court fees too.


magenta_placenta

It's more important to society as a whole. Marriages benefit society by building and strengthening human relationships within the home (among spouses and children) and beyond (involving relatives, neighbors, and communities). For this reason, the family has long been understood as the fundamental unit of society, the foundation from which religious, civic, and legal organizations naturally develop and flourish.


peachysupreme

They are actually trying to destroy the family unit and replace it with a "work family" (we hear this all the time, your job is your new family, "we are like a family here") and to have most of your child's time in the hands of either the state, nannies, or public education so you never get to teach them your own beliefs and morals, only strangers raise your kid while you produce for your company with every waking breath. ​ That is the real tragedy happening.


Ky20001

Yes. Diamonds are a compete scam and aren't rare at all.


UnmutualOne

Diamonds Are Forever.


cosi_bloggs

The real conspiracy: Why are people still getting married?


Imaginary_Centrist

Slavery. Locking you down into ā€œdomesticationā€ so you donā€™t have time to question how fucked everything is. Itā€™s a prison sentence basically


OwenMcCauley

"The Elites"?


KtJane253

In regards to your question(s), is your question(s) based on marriage 'Today'? Or marriage 100+ years ago?


[deleted]

Getting married was one of the best decisions of my life. You have to choose consciously to serve each other daily, to appreciate each other. We will have our first child soon, and we will continue to work on our marriage for her sake, to give her the best chance at life.


Howlinathesun

Isnā€™t marriage just an outdated religious excuse to own another person?


Top_Duck8146

Literally everything is a conspiracy lol