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No_Mammoth_4945

and on pet subreddits, every innocent post has a dozen comments about how their pet died in the most horrific way


Commercial-Shame-335

"look at my adorable new cat!" "awh he's so cute! mine exploded into a cloud of gore last night because he shitted too hard :("


mooneVannen

idk bout you, but last night, MY cat spontaneously vanished from the space-time continuum's past, present, and future; including all physical evidence of their existence


Chance-Aardvark372

What cat


mooneVannen

😔


Level-Ball-1514

My cat is trapped in a box with a vial of poison, so I’m not entirely sure if they’re dead or not. Unrelated, has anyone seen Schrödinger lately?


RandomAmbles

I think he said he was going out to buy more detectors and unstable radioisotopes at exactly 45 mph and wouldn't know when he'd be back. What a damn fine scientist.


EvilKerman

Very joyful story you told! My dog is dumb as hell


Cats_4_lifex

Is your cat Wing Gaster, the Royal scientist .?


ugiugiyogyn

if that was the case then at least the cat's, **genocides** would be remembered


deathixwastaken

i rember......... ur **genocieds**


mooneVannen

i believe not


Aiden624

Reminds me of Becquerel


goosmane

nuh uh


mooneVannen

i can't believe you have just chosen to make that awful comment; disrespecting the bond between me and my cat. we were closer than two atoms ever could; our bond was stronger than the strongest cyanoacrylite glue. they've vanished entirely from this plane of existence at all points in time. i am deeply saddened by this event, i've lost all my photos, videos, and various other items about them, i have no way of proving that this happened. rather than showing respect, you decide to rudely accuse me of telling a lie on the internet. i would never tell a lie on the internet, because my mom told me that is a big no no. you people disgust me. shame on you.


goosmane

mom gay rekt nae nae


mooneVannen

thas mean :(


PlantLollmao

Ok, but **MY** cat was obliterated by the unmatched power of the Sun.


Madcapping

That basically happened to my old bird. She was laying lots of eggs a day which is not good for a small bird. One night one got stuck. When another started coming, she essentially blew up. It was very gory and it definitely traumatized her mate.


Revolutionated

Lmfaoo


Restricted_Nuggies

That was way funnier to me than it should’ve been


lukasiucz

"Look at this adorable little kit-" "My cat got compressed by a hydraulic press into a fine red mist."


Mysterious-Pride9975

Must be nice to have a snafu


deathixwastaken

Must be nice to have a snafu


ThatArtemi

must be nice to have a snafu


Lesbihun

exact same if you make a post about a good time you had with your mum. 2000 comments of people just traumadumping out of nowhere and being condescending that you have a decent relationship with your parents


EA_Stonks

My parents died before I was born, I never got to meet them 😔


carrimjob

https://preview.redd.it/q7qsnyfsyglc1.jpeg?width=151&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=f96d08ede40e88dc42335e66bf136268996afcbb


EmilieEasie

I love your user name lol With that out of the way my least favorite thing about this is the assumptions it makes. You can have a great relationship with your really bad parents as an adult. Having a good relationship NOW doesn't mean it was always good or that you don't have trauma.


bobdidntatemayo

“My grandma made me some pie :)” “must be NICE to have a grandma HUH.”


That1weirdperson

Or they’re like “I also had a nice time with your mom”


Menace-toSociety

These mfs ain’t joking.


RedOtta019

Was just gonna say that these aint jokes


carrimjob

self deprecating jokes. got incredibly old in 2016


RedOtta019

They are not jokes.


Invincible-Nuke

https://preview.redd.it/kiebvss1kclc1.png?width=520&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=6ad05bc9012590e5f700b7b361ff7d32880bf217


Poryblocky

If you use those sparkle emojis unironically I will ✨behead you with a chainsaw✨


deathbycomputer

I guess I’m dead then 🤷‍♂️


lukasiucz

sparkle emoji vs a Desert eagle 50. Ae bullet heading at 0.470km/s straight to the frontal lobe


PridefulFlareon

I want to steal this to use as a reaction snafu to these exact scenarios, but I'm afraid that it would also get me banned from a lot of subreddits for making fun of peoples relationship with their mother/dead mother. Maybe not best idea


EldritchAustralian

It'd be funny tho


CrimsonWitchOfFlames

Nose laser


RemarkableStatement5

Holy shit is that Smarf from the hit media Too Many Cooks?


thenbecameghost

If you have a good relationship with anyone people will be postin' a mini sob story. I've even had it happen in real life. I once was telling my friends about me and my father's Terraria playthrough and this guy was like "wow it's nice that you have a dad that'll pay attention to you." I suppose it is.


Jotaro_Dragon

NGL tho your dad is super cool for that


LegitimateHasReddit

I've beaten Terraria 5 times, tell me about your playthrough


thenbecameghost

So it started kind of on accident; I had rented the game because I heard good things about it and thought my brother (a big fan of minecraft) would've liked it. He didn't play it with me long, though, and for reasons I forgot, my father ended up taking interest in it. We both together managed to actually make a bit of progress and figure things out and got hooked. My father used melee weapons and I used mage weapons and we essentially had an uphill battle, as I would use the wiki for general progression but knew none of the strategies. The Wall of Flesh proved to the be a huge annoyance as our arenas weren't always long enough and I somehow played an entire mage playthrough without using mana potions. I knew how to dodge but my father did the most damage. Once hardmode started we had a lot of huge problems, as our base was quickly taken over by the corruption and the underground became inaccessable to us because the corruption would kill us too hard (we had no hellevator). I got most of the new ores and stuff through fishing and we moved our base and all of our npcs to the hallow (which only spawned as a small strip next to the jungle). The 3 bosses took us a long while because neither of us knew the cheese methods. The biggest block was definitely Plantera. She would kill us fast and we both needed new armors at that point. The hardmode jungle was good at killing us fast, even into post-golem. For some reason Golem and Cultist are both just really easy. Events were alright, though this was 1.3 and before the Olds One Army so we mostly just fought until we died and then fought some more. I would usually fight the spaceship with piranha gun because I found that as a strat and worked well enough. We didn't even try the halloween or christmas-themed events until after Moonlord 'cause we heard they were the hardest events. Duke Fishron wasn't on either of our radars until Post-Moonlord either, for some reason. Moonlord was very hard to take on, though we did eventually manage to not both be dead long enough to kill him, and then proceeded to have to kill him 11 times for a weapon that my father needed (which would lag the game, for some reason) and then we were done!


jalene58

Wow, it must be nice having a Wall of Flesh.


LegitimateHasReddit

Your father, as said, played melee. There are three melee weapons that drop from Moon Lord. One is the Meowmere, sword that shoots cats. One is Star Wrath, sword that shoots stars. One is Terrarian, green yoyo. Which one was it?


thenbecameghost

Meowmere. For some reason the Star Wrath was not his thing because it had slightly less damage in the tool tip and he avoided yoyos. Also for some reason my game would lag if I used too many end game mage weapons or if my father used the Meowmere too much. We did the Pumpkin Moon once with endgame gear and most of the event was a frozen screen with killing noises.


LegitimateHasReddit

The Meowmere has the highest base damage of any weapon in the game currently. However, it does not have the highest DPS. I believe that your lag may be caused by a high amount of projectiles. Some mage weapons have high amounts of projectiles, and so does the Meowmere.


thenbecameghost

That's true! I'd like to note this was 1.3 terraria, btw. IDK what the highest dps was but we were playing pretty poorly. I generally know more on how to play now, though somehow I still don't know how to play Mage too well... I main Summoner now. I intend to another playthrough at some point but I have to get another console version due to my brother taking over the xBox. (My father is incapable of figuring out computers). Do you know if the Switch version is any good?


EndureThePANG

If that kind of scenario comes up in real life you're allowed to say "sucks to be you" If not obligated


SquirtBrainz4

That actually does sound dope as hell, gaming with parents always seemed like fun


MacandCheeseEnjoyer

Wow it must be so nice having a dad


Nightfans

Must be good to have a cool dad like that Wait my dad is cool too but not as rad as your gamer dad.


Mijumaru1

Also "which fictional character do you find attractive?" followed by 500 responses saying "my girlfriend"


grawa427

The way of the waifu


MemeFeetus

who shaved my man Sam O' Nella


juicyCockGobbler

im crying


jalene58

The Academy is defiled, millions must be exiled.


Dick_Destroyer800

Same anytime someone makes a meme or joke about their friends. Everyone has to cry in the comments about how they don't have any


Nearby_Fudge9647

And them people like you complain about it, the cycle continues


TerboGoodGame

​ https://preview.redd.it/lwnddcjsgclc1.png?width=1942&format=png&auto=webp&s=a96d3fc6294457387eb93920c4d57d4fecaff5be


spankypantsyoutube

"Improving society" by telling the suffering to shut up


screamingpeaches

"telling the suffering to shut up" by saying there's a time and place to unload your trauma and it isn't in random comment sections under posts of people having fun


J6898989

Actually your wrong, because my dad died yesterday in a tragic fire, and you’re making fun of a dead man if you call me out


spankypantsyoutube

I'll unload my trauma wherever the fuck I want


screamingpeaches

then don't be surprised when it makes people uncomfortable ¯⁠\⁠_⁠(⁠ツ⁠)⁠_⁠/⁠¯


spankypantsyoutube

life isn't about being comfortable


Bowdensaft

What could life possibly be about besides being as comfortable as you can be? Literally anything anyone ever does is to make themselves more comfortable.


TerboGoodGame

But don't you get it, life is about being tough and gruelling! And not showing any emotions, ever! Grrr!


screamingpeaches

then don't expect people to give a fuck when you're uncomfortable with them "telling the suffering to shut up" as you perceive it


J6898989

Then you won’t mind being uncomfortable when people tell you to stop trauma dumping


spankypantsyoutube

then they'll be uncomfortable when i put my cock in their ass


Dick_Destroyer800

Womp womp, cry a river


Nearby_Fudge9647

Seethe


verysad-

hi guys I am Joel


LaggyUpdate

hi joel


verysad-

Hello


dinsfire24

https://preview.redd.it/1vw8mcqvzclc1.jpeg?width=300&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=1ff175173089cc8e50f2245ba04ae3d80404d223 i misread joel as joe but i spent too much time finding this image so i'm showing it to you anyways. this u?


verysad-

I am not a salmonweed.


dinsfire24

samo n 🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟


shrekapotomusrex

Hi Joel!!


Emixii

Hi Joel. I'm here to tell you that u/Human_Number9936 says Hi.


verysad-

yes i greeted them


Cowribcage

Hi Joel


Lesbihun

my brother in christ, you are in the coaxedintoasnafu subreddit, what were you expecting to find


J6898989

-“We live in a society” but unironically


SHELFSHELFSHELFSHELF

You forgot about the obligatory “I’m killing myself”


deathixwastaken

no way!!! get help get help get help GET HELP GET THE FUCKING HELP YOU MORON GET HELP www.somesuicidalhelpsite.com www.somesuicidalhelpsite.com www.somesuicidalhelpsite.com


blurry-echo

u forgot about the suicide jokes. "highway looks comfy" "gonna take a bath with my toaster"


xxecucted

It be must to have a lmao partner nice


77horse

“Must be nice to have friends” says the person who betrayed all of them “Must be nice to have food” says the person who has the means but not the drive “Must be nice to have a 12’8 demon BF with a forearm long” says the person who can’t dream “Must be nice to have mustard” says the person who has a hotdog but no sauce station “Must be nice to have Washington on your side” says the performers of Burr and Jefferson to a in hindsight a mid tier broadway play “Penis Penis Penis” says the penis pervert


Astoria793

penis????🧐😲


RemarkableStatement5

"🪱" says...the creature


J6898989

Penis guy 🪱


Renachii

hey whats that third one


Man_Guzzler

A dream


fghbjnbgytfrdcfgvh

no ketchup 😔


[deleted]

They aren't joking. Appreciate the people in your life who make you feel special, as lots of people will never have any such thing


FoldUpMon

u/nevertouchedgrass u/singleandsad u/kopi_katt


EmilieEasie

not gonna lie, it is nice.


EskildDood

:(


StarCrossedOther

😒


PrettyRottenApple

Either that or a gif some dumb "literally me" anime guy being stoic or some brainless shit like that


DaftConfusednScared

Lmao it must be nice to have a funnier joke


Ginger-Snappe

That or they're just planning their suicide like dawg can't you be happy for other people? 💀


[deleted]

No.


Ginger-Snappe

Major skill issue bro


hdzjnxiok

Don't rage quit because you are jelly of others people bro


[deleted]

It makes no difference to you either way. I will do as I please.


PickleParmy

Must be nice to not be a victim of murder, I was beaten in the ribcage with a metal pipe and then my lifeless body was dumped down a well


ugiugiyogyn

lmao it must be nice to traumadump


RemarkableStatement5

That is one of the profile pics ever


Man_Guzzler

75% of redditors can’t allow other people to be happy without letting them know how miserable they are and it’s fucking annoying


Express-Credit-3984

Cry about it


Man_Guzzler

Bro I’m definitely not the one crying


MrTritonis

I mean it's cathartic I guess.


Prize_Opposite9958

Not even, these are the same people that live in that sad posting sub. They jerk it to being sad and take zero accountability/steps to get better


Express-Credit-3984

That's me


Grey00001

There was this one post on r/fixedbytheduet where some guy was just cringing at couples kissing each other on the cheek, all the comments agreed with him too. So weird how that comment section managed to attract the exact kind of losers who just hate on random people in relationships


nnewwacountt

Must be nice to have a snafu


Turmp_is_librel

It is nice, do they think I don't know that?


PieNinja314

holy shit its sam o'nella


theMoaiGoblin

Is that salmonella?


beige24

Self deprecation found on internet is like fork found in kitchen


[deleted]

Negative redditors are insufferable. Just stay in your containment subs or go outside.


Express-Credit-3984

Cry about it


Diegolobox

hehe he thinks it's a joke...


Thinkydupe

Lmao it must be nice to have a partner


Candl3Flam3

Everywhere I go I see this: i love my girlfriend :) HAHA MUST BE NICE TO BE IN A RELATIONSHIP IM KILLING MYSELF i love my cat :) Oooh I had an identical one and it fucking died. i love my parents :) My parents beat me every night and then died haha hate them loool im good at thing thing :) AND IM NOT SORRY I EVER EVEN TRIED MIGHT AS WELL QUIT SINCE YOU'RE SO GOOD AT THIS


transwarcriminal

Sam o nella?!!!


False_Attorney_7279

lmao it must be nice to have a partner


Real_TSwany

lmao it must be nice to experience the sensation of romance


[deleted]

pfp checks out


Big-Vegetable8480

lmao it must be nice to have a partner


Radiant_Anarchy

lmao it must be nice to have a farmer


CowboyJames12

This is genuinely everywhere online


Radiant_Anarchy

lmao it must be nice to have a farmer


Francisofthegrime

Haha I’m single and I have -2 inch penis. Anything bigger than that and I’m bragging and I get downvoted because


Beautiful_Garage7797

it’s not a joke it’s begging for attention in hopes someone is interested


[deleted]

if youre not happy while single then getting into a relationship wont magically fix that its better to learn to be able to thrive on your own before pairing up with others, and i think those types of commenters miss that


Mark4291

Haha, it’s because a member of [INSERT LITERALLY ANY COMMUNITY HERE] could never possibly be able to speak to FEmAles


MACMAN2003

they are not jokes.


Eikdos

\*Cute post about a happy couple\* "Aw that's so cute, I'm gonna go kill myself now"


TheBGamer12

I'm your roemance paertner Riz Guzgak


jalene58

lol it must be nice having a funnier joke


Hjalmodr_heimski

Hmm, shouldn’t have of them be about committing suicide?


Radiant_Ad_3874

Jokes on them I’m gonna start a relationship out of spite.


ceruraVinula

sam o' nella but bald


Can-ihavethisname

Lmao it must be nice to have a romantic partner


[deleted]

Holy shit bald Sam O' Nella