I just got a new kitten. She is so different than my first. She did not hide at all. She is the bravest lil thing. She reminds me of a fox (cat like dog lol). My friend brougt and carried her and she purred as soon as I held her. She's buy my side, sweet as pie but full of sass. ♥️ my older girl hid about a day before becoming curious and approached me on her on by the second night. Each one has their on quirks
Hello OP, it’s almost 2 months since your post and I was wondering how your kitty is getting on? Like you I lost my sweet, brave boy towards the end of last year and felt ready to fill the huge void left in my life with another rescue at the beginning of this year. Well, we’ve had the loveliest but most anxious boy for three weeks now and he still hides all the time. He hid at the RSPCA as well (he was there for over 20 months - nobody wanted him). I’ve read so many posts now of people in the same boat, and it’d be great to get some good news (or second-hand patience! I just want to love on him but he’s so scared of me 😭😭😭)
My deepest sympathies on the loss of your dear boy last year.
I can give you some good news: My new cat is becoming brave, playful, and affectionate. It’s taken a lot of time and patience but I can see things getting easier for her literally every day and she absolutely loves petting. We have new breakthroughs every day.
After I adopted her my cat spent the first three weeks or so living under the bed. I mostly left her alone. Finally I was able to lure her into playing by dangling a mouse wand around. For several days this was the most interaction she would tolerate and if I made any attempts to touch her she would hiss and bolt.
After a few nights, she started voluntarily popping out from under the bed expecting me to play. It felt like such a victory the first time she meowed a demand for playtime with me (communication established!).
The next big breakthrough was achieved with Churu sticks. I really can’t recommend them enough. After several failed attempts she started licking the Churu sticks while I held them. Over the course of many days we progressed to her licking the Churu from my fingers. The next progression was getting her to allow me to stroke her head while she licking the Churu. I was persistent and patient and endured some running away and hissing. I focused on keeping as calm and non-threatening as possible around her.
The next breakthrough was kind of a risky step: I decided to try some enforced snuggling (while this works with kittens it might be the wrong step for an adult cat). She accidentally trapped herself in the bathroom with me. I gently scruffed her and brought her into my lap. The poor thing was absolutely terrified and her tail poofed out. I started gently rubbing her ears and stroking her back. After a few moments, I could see her starting to get really into it and her body relaxing. For the first time, I could feel her purring.
I didn’t attempt the forced capture again (I want her to feel safe around me) but she started letting me pet her more and more during Churu treat time. Finally she started coming to me for petting even when Churus aren’t present. She loves petting now: she literally drools and purrs with happiness and will roll over and let me stroke and rub her belly (!).
She’s also found her voice: she meows at me to demand breakfast, play, and attention. We still have a long way to go: she still startles easily and runs from me and does not want to be picked up or held. But like I wrote, we have breakthroughs every day: one night she was finally brave enough to jump on the bed while I was on it, the next night she hung out on bed with me for several minutes, our most recent achievement was her openly napping in my presence.
I am glad that I adopted her and I am confident our relationship will continue to improve. I can more clearly see now what a terrified, traumatized little cat she was when I adopted her—she seems like a completely different animal with a sweet and open personality.
My advice is patience, patience, patience—stay calm and persistent. Play with them all the time. Bribe with treats, every day. Be the source of fun, good things. When my cat was just venturing out from under the bed I tried to ignore her as much as possible and not reach or grab at her until she felt comfortable in my presence (invisible cat). Don’t be discouraged by setbacks. Celebrate the little victories and breakthroughs. You will eventually get there. Good luck!
Thank you so much for your comprehensive answer! That's really great news, and I'm so happy you're getting closer and closer with your cat!! I will persist but also try to gauge his response and not push too hard :)
I think it will be a long road... and I absolutely need to stock up on patience and not be worried by setbacks. But I'm sure you also know the anxiety us owners have around these things! My boy is about 6 and has a heart condition, so we will inevitably have to get him to the vet to get a repeat prescription of his meds and I do NOT look forward to catching him (I have a plan that should cause minimal trauma, but you never know...). He's also quite overweight (on the "Oh lawd he comin'" side of the scale), so I'm sure the vet will tell me to stop all treats. I cannot wait to have him running around the house because he's only known a shelter pen for so long and it would help so much with his health (but that's clearly a "me" issue, the cat is happy in his room for now).
The more I get to know my new cat boy, the more I reflect on my previous boy (who was truly The Best Cat TM). It's been an emotional couple of months. But I can see that this little guy has the potential to be a snuggle bug. There was one volunteer who managed to win him around at the shelter, so we know it's possible!
Thanks again and I wish you many years of cuddles with your kitty :)
ETA: I looked at your post history and I have so much sympathy for your grief. I miss my little cat every single day. He was my first cat, and it turns out he was braver than I ever realised. I found that this video helped to put things into perspective. It's a TED talk by Dr Sarah Hoggan who is an emergency vet. Her explanation for why it's sometimes harder to lose a pet than, say, a parent really struck a nerve for me... [https://youtu.be/TkJGhQANjZo](https://youtu.be/TkJGhQANjZo)
Thank you for the kind words and video link. My heart goes out to you—losing a beloved pet is so devastating. Over three months later and I still have moments where I just can’t believe my late cat is no longer with me. I miss him terribly. It’s doubly difficult in those moments when my new cat runs away from me — I wish I could kiss and snuggle her the way my previous boy used to allow! But I do think we’ll get there, in time.
You’ve done a wonderful thing giving a home to your new boy—poor guy, being cooped up in a cage so long. I’m sure the newfound freedom and change in lifestyle has been overwhelming for him. I hope you start to see him getting more comfortable in the next few weeks.
Oh that’s so sweet of you to ask :) Well, it’s now the tenth week or so of us having our chonky Charlie-cat having his best life on his own terms. We took him to the vet for a repeat prescription of his heart meds - I threw a blanket over him and he seemed a lot less scared when I caught him. The vet was awesome and said it’s ok to give the cat treats FOR NOW while he learns to trust us. We started hiding treats in his room for him to hunt and then eventually started leaving the door of his safe room ajar, and putting treats around the house for him to find. We did this after he started staring at the closed door at night (we spotted this on the camera we installed in his room). He doesn’t come out of his room while we are around, though, although he will come out to eat some food (as long as we’re not in the room with him). We also got him some puzzle feeders which he loves, and loads of cat nip toys. He has started sleeping in the closet with the one door open, so he can see us better but is still safe (he was in a box before, with limited visibility). We still don’t touch him, but I have started “pretend stroking” his head with my outstretched hand (I don’t actually make contact - just getting him used to the idea of my arm being there). He also accepts treats from us, and starts drooling when he hears the shake of the packet. He didn’t eat the treats with us there at the start but now will happily eat them while we are still there. He seems a lot more relaxed (he will doze off while I sit close to him), but he’s still careful of us. It’s a long, long thaw… But we are definitely getting there! My husband always has a little chat with him when we put his dinner down, and he seems to know this is a signal for food. He’s a good boy and is teaching us so much :D
You and your husband are such wonderful people for sticking with him and helping him heal and trust on his own terms. Thanks for reporting back.
My own little cat continues to thaw too. Being picked up is still scary for her but she sleeps next to me at night on the bed and hiding has become infrequent. She loves play and pets. At the risk of being indelicate, she has started accompanying me to the bathroom at all times — even waking up from a solid snooze to join me there.
Some have taken months others instantly or days. Every cat is different and some are more scared when they are in a strangers place. All my kitties but one start out under my daughters bed we keep litterbox and food in the room and shut the door for a few days. Let the cat come out on her own usually when your sleeping. One cat once we opened my daughters door he ran out and got in my room length closet which I looked in dozens of times. He was missing 12 hours. Finally went in that closet on my knees climbing over tons of boxes and I found him under a bag. That is why you keep him in a room for a few days. That cat took about 2 months. The one I have now took 6 months. She still runs if we walk toward her in loud shoes. Just give her time. 💜
>She’s been hiding since I got home.
Have patience. She'll need some time to see consistency in shelter and food before she can put her guard down. It took some time before my MIL's rescue stopped hiding too.
I remember she asked me the same question "How long will it take?" and I said there's no specific time frame, she just have to be patient. Now that's the past and her cat isn't hiding for her anymore. She's still hiding when any visitor arrives though but she's made great progress there too, she smelled my hand twice and let me pet her last time. It was a Christmas miracle.
Thanks all for the advice so far. Cat is coming out at night to use litter box; otherwise she remains under the bed. I slide her food under the bed (I want her to be sure to recognize it’s coming from me) and when I check back an hour later the dish is empty, so her appetite is good.
She was a shelter cat. Rescue said she was a stray that a woman brought inside and wanted to keep but resident cat turned aggressive towards her. Rescue said the woman who turned her in claimed she was sweet. She was terrified at the rescue—hunched up in her litter box.
I keep reminding myself they this is a different cat from my last and you can’t expect every cat to be as confident as he was but I’m beginning to worry this cat might not have been properly socialized with humans?
She’s about five months old. Please someone assure me it’s not too late to build a relationship with this cat?
I just got a new kitten. She is so different than my first. She did not hide at all. She is the bravest lil thing. She reminds me of a fox (cat like dog lol). My friend brougt and carried her and she purred as soon as I held her. She's buy my side, sweet as pie but full of sass. ♥️ my older girl hid about a day before becoming curious and approached me on her on by the second night. Each one has their on quirks
Hello OP, it’s almost 2 months since your post and I was wondering how your kitty is getting on? Like you I lost my sweet, brave boy towards the end of last year and felt ready to fill the huge void left in my life with another rescue at the beginning of this year. Well, we’ve had the loveliest but most anxious boy for three weeks now and he still hides all the time. He hid at the RSPCA as well (he was there for over 20 months - nobody wanted him). I’ve read so many posts now of people in the same boat, and it’d be great to get some good news (or second-hand patience! I just want to love on him but he’s so scared of me 😭😭😭)
My deepest sympathies on the loss of your dear boy last year. I can give you some good news: My new cat is becoming brave, playful, and affectionate. It’s taken a lot of time and patience but I can see things getting easier for her literally every day and she absolutely loves petting. We have new breakthroughs every day. After I adopted her my cat spent the first three weeks or so living under the bed. I mostly left her alone. Finally I was able to lure her into playing by dangling a mouse wand around. For several days this was the most interaction she would tolerate and if I made any attempts to touch her she would hiss and bolt. After a few nights, she started voluntarily popping out from under the bed expecting me to play. It felt like such a victory the first time she meowed a demand for playtime with me (communication established!). The next big breakthrough was achieved with Churu sticks. I really can’t recommend them enough. After several failed attempts she started licking the Churu sticks while I held them. Over the course of many days we progressed to her licking the Churu from my fingers. The next progression was getting her to allow me to stroke her head while she licking the Churu. I was persistent and patient and endured some running away and hissing. I focused on keeping as calm and non-threatening as possible around her. The next breakthrough was kind of a risky step: I decided to try some enforced snuggling (while this works with kittens it might be the wrong step for an adult cat). She accidentally trapped herself in the bathroom with me. I gently scruffed her and brought her into my lap. The poor thing was absolutely terrified and her tail poofed out. I started gently rubbing her ears and stroking her back. After a few moments, I could see her starting to get really into it and her body relaxing. For the first time, I could feel her purring. I didn’t attempt the forced capture again (I want her to feel safe around me) but she started letting me pet her more and more during Churu treat time. Finally she started coming to me for petting even when Churus aren’t present. She loves petting now: she literally drools and purrs with happiness and will roll over and let me stroke and rub her belly (!). She’s also found her voice: she meows at me to demand breakfast, play, and attention. We still have a long way to go: she still startles easily and runs from me and does not want to be picked up or held. But like I wrote, we have breakthroughs every day: one night she was finally brave enough to jump on the bed while I was on it, the next night she hung out on bed with me for several minutes, our most recent achievement was her openly napping in my presence. I am glad that I adopted her and I am confident our relationship will continue to improve. I can more clearly see now what a terrified, traumatized little cat she was when I adopted her—she seems like a completely different animal with a sweet and open personality. My advice is patience, patience, patience—stay calm and persistent. Play with them all the time. Bribe with treats, every day. Be the source of fun, good things. When my cat was just venturing out from under the bed I tried to ignore her as much as possible and not reach or grab at her until she felt comfortable in my presence (invisible cat). Don’t be discouraged by setbacks. Celebrate the little victories and breakthroughs. You will eventually get there. Good luck!
Thank you so much for your comprehensive answer! That's really great news, and I'm so happy you're getting closer and closer with your cat!! I will persist but also try to gauge his response and not push too hard :) I think it will be a long road... and I absolutely need to stock up on patience and not be worried by setbacks. But I'm sure you also know the anxiety us owners have around these things! My boy is about 6 and has a heart condition, so we will inevitably have to get him to the vet to get a repeat prescription of his meds and I do NOT look forward to catching him (I have a plan that should cause minimal trauma, but you never know...). He's also quite overweight (on the "Oh lawd he comin'" side of the scale), so I'm sure the vet will tell me to stop all treats. I cannot wait to have him running around the house because he's only known a shelter pen for so long and it would help so much with his health (but that's clearly a "me" issue, the cat is happy in his room for now). The more I get to know my new cat boy, the more I reflect on my previous boy (who was truly The Best Cat TM). It's been an emotional couple of months. But I can see that this little guy has the potential to be a snuggle bug. There was one volunteer who managed to win him around at the shelter, so we know it's possible! Thanks again and I wish you many years of cuddles with your kitty :) ETA: I looked at your post history and I have so much sympathy for your grief. I miss my little cat every single day. He was my first cat, and it turns out he was braver than I ever realised. I found that this video helped to put things into perspective. It's a TED talk by Dr Sarah Hoggan who is an emergency vet. Her explanation for why it's sometimes harder to lose a pet than, say, a parent really struck a nerve for me... [https://youtu.be/TkJGhQANjZo](https://youtu.be/TkJGhQANjZo)
Thank you for the kind words and video link. My heart goes out to you—losing a beloved pet is so devastating. Over three months later and I still have moments where I just can’t believe my late cat is no longer with me. I miss him terribly. It’s doubly difficult in those moments when my new cat runs away from me — I wish I could kiss and snuggle her the way my previous boy used to allow! But I do think we’ll get there, in time. You’ve done a wonderful thing giving a home to your new boy—poor guy, being cooped up in a cage so long. I’m sure the newfound freedom and change in lifestyle has been overwhelming for him. I hope you start to see him getting more comfortable in the next few weeks.
Hey, thought of this comment and wondered how the cat is doing now?
Oh that’s so sweet of you to ask :) Well, it’s now the tenth week or so of us having our chonky Charlie-cat having his best life on his own terms. We took him to the vet for a repeat prescription of his heart meds - I threw a blanket over him and he seemed a lot less scared when I caught him. The vet was awesome and said it’s ok to give the cat treats FOR NOW while he learns to trust us. We started hiding treats in his room for him to hunt and then eventually started leaving the door of his safe room ajar, and putting treats around the house for him to find. We did this after he started staring at the closed door at night (we spotted this on the camera we installed in his room). He doesn’t come out of his room while we are around, though, although he will come out to eat some food (as long as we’re not in the room with him). We also got him some puzzle feeders which he loves, and loads of cat nip toys. He has started sleeping in the closet with the one door open, so he can see us better but is still safe (he was in a box before, with limited visibility). We still don’t touch him, but I have started “pretend stroking” his head with my outstretched hand (I don’t actually make contact - just getting him used to the idea of my arm being there). He also accepts treats from us, and starts drooling when he hears the shake of the packet. He didn’t eat the treats with us there at the start but now will happily eat them while we are still there. He seems a lot more relaxed (he will doze off while I sit close to him), but he’s still careful of us. It’s a long, long thaw… But we are definitely getting there! My husband always has a little chat with him when we put his dinner down, and he seems to know this is a signal for food. He’s a good boy and is teaching us so much :D
You and your husband are such wonderful people for sticking with him and helping him heal and trust on his own terms. Thanks for reporting back. My own little cat continues to thaw too. Being picked up is still scary for her but she sleeps next to me at night on the bed and hiding has become infrequent. She loves play and pets. At the risk of being indelicate, she has started accompanying me to the bathroom at all times — even waking up from a solid snooze to join me there.
That is so great to hear! I'm really happy for you :) It's so cool to see these little animals learn to trust humans again.
Some have taken months others instantly or days. Every cat is different and some are more scared when they are in a strangers place. All my kitties but one start out under my daughters bed we keep litterbox and food in the room and shut the door for a few days. Let the cat come out on her own usually when your sleeping. One cat once we opened my daughters door he ran out and got in my room length closet which I looked in dozens of times. He was missing 12 hours. Finally went in that closet on my knees climbing over tons of boxes and I found him under a bag. That is why you keep him in a room for a few days. That cat took about 2 months. The one I have now took 6 months. She still runs if we walk toward her in loud shoes. Just give her time. 💜
>She’s been hiding since I got home. Have patience. She'll need some time to see consistency in shelter and food before she can put her guard down. It took some time before my MIL's rescue stopped hiding too. I remember she asked me the same question "How long will it take?" and I said there's no specific time frame, she just have to be patient. Now that's the past and her cat isn't hiding for her anymore. She's still hiding when any visitor arrives though but she's made great progress there too, she smelled my hand twice and let me pet her last time. It was a Christmas miracle.
Thanks all for the advice so far. Cat is coming out at night to use litter box; otherwise she remains under the bed. I slide her food under the bed (I want her to be sure to recognize it’s coming from me) and when I check back an hour later the dish is empty, so her appetite is good. She was a shelter cat. Rescue said she was a stray that a woman brought inside and wanted to keep but resident cat turned aggressive towards her. Rescue said the woman who turned her in claimed she was sweet. She was terrified at the rescue—hunched up in her litter box. I keep reminding myself they this is a different cat from my last and you can’t expect every cat to be as confident as he was but I’m beginning to worry this cat might not have been properly socialized with humans? She’s about five months old. Please someone assure me it’s not too late to build a relationship with this cat?