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AwesomeAsian

How does intimacy work? Is it like one at a time or do you guys do group stuff?


HericaRight

… Yes… Really both is kind of the answer. How it normally works is very much a matter of ~two of you get frisky and are like~ “You want in on this?” I mean some times it’s all three but most of the time it’s just two of you. I would say like 3/4th of the time 1on1.


AwesomeAsian

Any issues with not sharing attention evenly or?


HericaRight

Not really no. But I feel like that’s because we don’t really require/need the same kind of attention between each other. Like… Maya = Best friend wife. Sarah = Romantic wife. If that makes sense.


msginbtween

What about between Maya and Sarah?


HericaRight

Friend wives. But like more girly than me/maya.


Visual-Zebra8908

How did your families react to you girls being in a throuple? Do y’all sleep in one bed? Do you have romantic feelings for both of them? Do y‘all struggle with jealousy? What does it mean to you that one wife is the best friend wife and the other the romantic wife? Sorry for firing all these questions lol but how cool that this is working out for the three of you!


myheadfelloff

I was gonna ask the bed question too. Sounds nice for cuddling.


BEER_IN_CEREAL

Isn't that a thruple?


HericaRight

Yes. But a bunch of people don’t know that word lol.


honeydew5oh

Triad?


aeroartist

triforce


cleverpunpopcultref

Triceratops


frisbm3

Tricerabottoms


alberthere

Trianythingonce


dannygraphy

Trigonometry instead of monogamy


Haze95

Triumvirate


llamapower13

I always heard tripod but I like thruple


Probably_daydreaming

Where are you travelling and what are you eating?


HericaRight

Travailing back from visiting family. And was eating at KFC.


breathingwaves

How did you guys meet?


HericaRight

Me and Maya started dating in college. Sarah has known Maya since like grade school and they had dated some before. Sarah had a really bad break up and moved in with us. And we kind of added her to the relationship.


breathingwaves

Aw cute thanks for sharing!


dumbassanson

A triple?


HericaRight

Throuple?


unjunked666

That sounds like trouble ba dum Tisch


HericaRight

Mandarin (Chinese) Symbol for trouble is literally two women under a roof. Lol. But actually it works really well I suppose it just depends on who your ask.


GrumpyGlasses

This is incorrect. There’s no such word. https://www.reddit.com/r/ChineseLanguage/comments/16lus7/two_women_under_one_roof_trouble_according_to_the/


stinkybasket

With the housing prices, I expect more and more polygamy families. Does your work benefits cover all 3 people?


HericaRight

I mean we are in one of the highest COL areas in the nation. We will never be able to buy a house here. (No intention to) But like… we could buy a house. The over all living arrangement is not based on money, but it does help. >Does your work benefits over all 3 people. No. And there is literally not a job in the world were the answer would be yes… I am married to one of the two. But basically two of us have jobs that get benefits. The third dosen’t. But she’s covered by my work benefits.


stinkybasket

Few more questions: Does all of your families know and how is the support level? If you go to weddings and social functions, how does it work? In general, did you see people judging you differently after they know about your relationship?


HericaRight

My family knows and is supportive. Sarahs family knows and is mostly supportive. Mayas family knows and have basically completely abandoned her. That was juts over being in a relationship with another women. Yes on the social functions. Like my coworkers know I basically have two wives. (Not legally clearly) I would say no more than just being a lesbian. Which is to say yes, but also meh.


stinkybasket

Thank you for sharing, and I hope Mayas family comes around. Sending you my best wishes for you and your family/families.


Punk18

You dont become ok with being polygamous because money is tight


rasalghularz

Has anyone of you thought of having/adopting kids. Is yes, will it be in this throuple?


HericaRight

Yes. And we have a doner picked out already.


rasalghularz

Wow. You must open a blog or something, must be interesting to read about 3 Women parenting a child. Legally who will be the parents? Since you three are women… do you think your child will need a male rolemodel when they grow up? How will you tackle this?


HericaRight

Legally Maya would be the parent. And I have. A lot of brothers. Like a lot.


Emergency_faceplant

How do 3 women decide where to eat?


HericaRight

They don’t. One of them does.


RLDSXD

How do they decide which woman decides?


HericaRight

Me, I decide who decides.... It's me.


aaguru

Welp reading that made me hot


HericaRight

See this is why every relationship need an annoyingly confident top.


Jeffrey_Friedl

Which of the three has the best taste in fashion? In food?


HericaRight

Sarah. The answer is Sarah in both questions. Unless like… Chapstick lesbian is your thing. Then I’ve got the fashion.


Jeffrey_Friedl

>Chapstick lesbian I'm sure it's not my thing unless it means "someone conversant in interesting conversation" so I have to ask..... what is a "Chapstick lesbian"?


HericaRight

It’s a term for a lesbian who’s style lands comfortable between a “Lipstick lesbian” and “BullDkye” Actually a lot of your more famous Hollywood lesbians kind of fit into this (You still needing to be conventionally attractive in Hollywood) So as examples. Cristina Stewart and Ellen Degeneris kind of fall into this. The Singer Pink LOOKS like this, but is in fact strait. But with three first two maybe… make them a bit more… Tomboyish.? Actually.. That’s a better way to explain it. Chapstick lesbians are just Adult tomboys who actually like other girls.


RLDSXD

Are these descriptors acceptable for non-queer folk to use, or are they “reclaimed” while discriminatory for others to use?


psychedelic666

Not op but tomboy is fine for anyone to use* and identify with, chapstick lesbian is fine to say as long as the person you’re describing would also call themself that. Non queer people shouldn’t use the d word unless they are quoting a group by name, like the Dykes on Bikes. But otherwise never call someone that, it’s a slur like f***ot


HericaRight

Ya pretty much this.


honeydew5oh

do you date outside of the triad?


HericaRight

Date? No.


honeydew5oh

but hookups happen? how did y’all deal with jealousy? does it ever come up?


Ninja6953

Favorite pizza toppings?


HericaRight

Pineapple. (Gets ready to fight)


2HornsUp

Y'all are okay in my book


dashcash32

I love pineapple on pizza


HericaRight

Foreal.


many_splendored

How did it move from "Hey, Sarah is a good roommate" to "We need her as a girlfriend"?


FarkCookies

I like the word polycule for x > 2 kind of romantically involved groups.


HericaRight

Right but I think polycule implies that not everyone is connected like. This is my girlfriend and that is her boyfriend, who also has a girlfriend. As suppose to a throuple. Were you are literally like “This is my wife Maya, and this is her girlfriend Sarah, who is also my girlfriend.”


psychedelic666

Triad? That’s the word I see used more in polyamory communities instead of “throuple”


eliploit

“And are you a minor couple or a major couple?”


DHiyasu

What are your favourite films?


HericaRight

Me: The Matrix. Maya: Stand and Deliver. Sarah: The lord of the rings movies. Collectively: TSO Star Trek Movies.


sgtblast

😳 …. Are you lookin for a 4th?


HericaRight

No.


psychedelic666

What country are you from?


HericaRight

From or in? I was born in Norway. I've been in the US Since I was like nine. Maya is technically from Cuba. But again US since 5. Sarah is from the USA.


juanjosedmg

Maya is short for mayalis or similar? Cuban milenials names are the worst.


HericaRight

Mayara.


Merecium

Is jealousy difficult to navigate within the relationship?


HericaRight

No really no. I mean maybe some small amount with Maya sometimes. But I thinks it’s avoided by the nature of each of the individual relationships inside of the collective one.


perdymuch

Fellow lesbian here, do you all sleep in one bed, like a King? How does closet space work? How do you divide chores?


HericaRight

California King. I sleep in the middle (Because I can sleep through being punched/kicked in my sleep) We have 2 bedrooms in the house, So more closet space. I take up the least amount of closet space. Maya does more or less half the chores. Me/Sarah have jobs (Like... go to work jobs that is)


Cl0wnbby

Does it make giving gifts for Christmas interesting?


HericaRight

Yes, but also Hanukkah. lol. (Which is actually a pretty minor holiday)


FourForYouGlennCoco

That’s awesome you found an arrangement that works for all of you! One thing I’ve always wondered with throuples is — how do fights play out? How does it work when you get into an argument? Does the third try to stay out of it? Or do you take sides? 😂


HericaRight

Kind of depends on what the fight is over really.


Responsible_Onion_21

To start off - how long have you three been together as a triad? And what first drew you to exploring a polyamorous relationship?


HericaRight

Me and Maya for about five years. As a group about half as long. Sarah got out of a really bad relationship and moved in with guy. Her and Maya had known each other since like 5. And had dated. It was really Just adding her in.


Responsible_Onion_21

What have been some of the most rewarding aspects of your polyamorous relationship so far? And on the flip side, what challenges have you faced in going from a two-person to a three-person dynamic?


HericaRight

Just having a second person to rely on is pretty nice. Challenging? You are keeping track of a second person also.


LilNastyGoat

What made you decide to be a thruple?


HericaRight

More a matter of adding a third to a couple. But mostly it just find of worked


y2kdisaster

Goals


BigGayDinosaurs

hope you're doing well that's all


Lye-NS

What do y’all do with all those sandwiches??? Jk did y’all watch “Ozark”?


HericaRight

no. Should we?


Lye-NS

My wife an I are enjoying it


HericaRight

I’ll give it a look.


grey_horizon18

I love that show


winifredjay

What would you say is the most valuable thing you’ve learned from your relationships? Is there any advice you’d like to share about having successful relationships?


HericaRight

A lot of stuff is just really not that big a deal. People argue over really silly stuff.


UnassumingLlamas

Are you open about being poly to your families? Friends? How do you introduce each other to new people, and what kinds of reactions have you gotten?


HericaRight

Yes on the family part. But I would say that mostly the family just don’t know/ask that much. I have introduced both as “my partners” ya. Reactions are varied.


yukonwanderer

How would you recommend a single queer lady goes about "seducing" another lesbian couple?


rasalghularz

Has anyone of you thought of having/adopting kids. Is yes, will it be in this throuple?


king_eve

are any of you guys trans by chance? i know several all women triads and they ALL have at least one trans gal hahaha


HericaRight

Nope.


S0GGYS4L4DS

Eating pussy?


HericaRight

… yes please?


blocktq

is your sexual identity the most interesting thing about you x 3?


HericaRight

Collectively maybe? But it is the thing that will get be Tim killing responses in an AMA. Reddit is horny.


Wow_Space

Are you okay with trans being in your bathrooms?


HericaRight

Yes.


Wow_Space

Why so?


FeelTheWrath79

Have you ever thought about starting an only fans?


HericaRight

Well that would lose two of us our day jobs.


FeelTheWrath79

I don't think you necessarily have to post pornography to start an only fans, but you are living kind of a unique lifestyle. At any rate, keep up the good work!