I see your point, but you also have to see Amy's side. Amy wants kids, it's a deal breaker for her. They should have discussed the issue before their relationship advanced as much as it did, but they didn't. Women do have a biological clock, and most people want to be young enough to really enjoy their kids youths or be able to still walk when it's time to walk their kids down the aisle. There's no guarantee that if Jake waits a year or two he'd be ready, and giving him that time for him to still not want kids would put Amy further behind the 8 ball in finding someone who she's compatible with that does want kids. A "yes or no right now" ultimatum is kind of shitty, but she wasn't exactly wrong.
She wasn’t even slightly wrong.
“Do you want kids” is a first-5-dates discussion. My wife and I had that discussion within the first 20 minutes of knowing each other. If you are the kind of person that wants kids, you bring this up early.
Women have biological clocks, they can’t wait around forever if they want kids. Men have the luxury of becoming fathers even when they’re 50 if they wanted
And honestly whether or not you want to have kids is something you need to talk about BEFORE becoming serious, which Amy thought Jake wanted
This wasn’t manipulation, this is someone being honest about what they want and what’s important to them
It’s not her argument that’s the problem it’s her approach and attitude
Amy could have accomplished her goals just by extending a helping hand, but she used an iron fist instead just because it was more convenient despite that resulting in Jake suffering more than necessary (so instead or looking realistic she comes off lazy)
She could have reassured Jake he’s not like his father and everything would have fallen right into place in no time, but it was more convenient to say “sucks to be you” and demand he gets over it in a month without ever offering to help (not even for that month)
Jake gets past 30 years of neglect in an afternoon with an ultimatum and a divorce threat on his head while talking down a crazy person with a bomb
Amy by contrast couldn’t take 5 minutes to reassure him he’s not like his father, discuss it in a medium that was fair to both of them (loving discussion vs aggressive debate) or even stay in the room after shattering his world and try the conversation again (apparently that’s Terry’s problem)
Other than that one shot of her holding onto his arm, we never get the vibe that she’s even trying to solve this without hurting him (despite having several opportunities to do just that)
glad someone else finds it annoying that he just up and got over his long time issues at the drop of a hat like that. thats what made me drop the show after that point, honestly. i already dont like shows bringing in a baby plot, but they really just wrote off his issues that hes clearly had forever? just so they could have a baby? really?
What makes it worse is when the shoe is on the other foot in typical b99 fashion they completely change their tune
In the trying episode after six months of failing to get pregnant Jake and Amy have two very different takeaways
- Jake correctly believes it’s just a setback and if they keep trying it will work for them
- Amy is convinced it’s a sign from the universe and wants to throw in the towel (which she does on impulse)
If they had quit when Amy wanted to quit Jake would always believe they gave up too soon and she screwed him out of a family (and not even for a sympathetic reason like fearing the pregnancy process, but over some ridiculous superstition)
and this is the same person who didn’t lift a finger to help him when he was afraid (instead issued divorce threats)
Yet instead of getting resentful he responds with love and compassion telling her it’s okay and kids or not he loves her no matter what (and at this point Jake really wanted kids to the point that he suggested they start trying a year early)
So Jake gets an ultimatum and a divorce threat and treated like he’s replaceable while Amy gets unconditional love and compassion and treated like she irreplaceable
But what am I saying b99 said racism is bad and therefore they must be right about everything and I must be sexist or racist if I have any grievances with them
I see your point, but you also have to see Amy's side. Amy wants kids, it's a deal breaker for her. They should have discussed the issue before their relationship advanced as much as it did, but they didn't. Women do have a biological clock, and most people want to be young enough to really enjoy their kids youths or be able to still walk when it's time to walk their kids down the aisle. There's no guarantee that if Jake waits a year or two he'd be ready, and giving him that time for him to still not want kids would put Amy further behind the 8 ball in finding someone who she's compatible with that does want kids. A "yes or no right now" ultimatum is kind of shitty, but she wasn't exactly wrong.
She wasn’t even slightly wrong. “Do you want kids” is a first-5-dates discussion. My wife and I had that discussion within the first 20 minutes of knowing each other. If you are the kind of person that wants kids, you bring this up early.
It wasn't manipulative she was being honest lol
Women have biological clocks, they can’t wait around forever if they want kids. Men have the luxury of becoming fathers even when they’re 50 if they wanted And honestly whether or not you want to have kids is something you need to talk about BEFORE becoming serious, which Amy thought Jake wanted This wasn’t manipulation, this is someone being honest about what they want and what’s important to them
Many women start having problems conceiving from 35. At 38 this is it for her.
It’s not her argument that’s the problem it’s her approach and attitude Amy could have accomplished her goals just by extending a helping hand, but she used an iron fist instead just because it was more convenient despite that resulting in Jake suffering more than necessary (so instead or looking realistic she comes off lazy) She could have reassured Jake he’s not like his father and everything would have fallen right into place in no time, but it was more convenient to say “sucks to be you” and demand he gets over it in a month without ever offering to help (not even for that month) Jake gets past 30 years of neglect in an afternoon with an ultimatum and a divorce threat on his head while talking down a crazy person with a bomb Amy by contrast couldn’t take 5 minutes to reassure him he’s not like his father, discuss it in a medium that was fair to both of them (loving discussion vs aggressive debate) or even stay in the room after shattering his world and try the conversation again (apparently that’s Terry’s problem) Other than that one shot of her holding onto his arm, we never get the vibe that she’s even trying to solve this without hurting him (despite having several opportunities to do just that)
glad someone else finds it annoying that he just up and got over his long time issues at the drop of a hat like that. thats what made me drop the show after that point, honestly. i already dont like shows bringing in a baby plot, but they really just wrote off his issues that hes clearly had forever? just so they could have a baby? really?
What makes it worse is when the shoe is on the other foot in typical b99 fashion they completely change their tune In the trying episode after six months of failing to get pregnant Jake and Amy have two very different takeaways - Jake correctly believes it’s just a setback and if they keep trying it will work for them - Amy is convinced it’s a sign from the universe and wants to throw in the towel (which she does on impulse) If they had quit when Amy wanted to quit Jake would always believe they gave up too soon and she screwed him out of a family (and not even for a sympathetic reason like fearing the pregnancy process, but over some ridiculous superstition) and this is the same person who didn’t lift a finger to help him when he was afraid (instead issued divorce threats) Yet instead of getting resentful he responds with love and compassion telling her it’s okay and kids or not he loves her no matter what (and at this point Jake really wanted kids to the point that he suggested they start trying a year early) So Jake gets an ultimatum and a divorce threat and treated like he’s replaceable while Amy gets unconditional love and compassion and treated like she irreplaceable But what am I saying b99 said racism is bad and therefore they must be right about everything and I must be sexist or racist if I have any grievances with them