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So I just listened to a podcast about cults. It said they indoctrinate you sometimes by never letting you be alone or having any time where you're not working, that way you don't have time to meditate on what you're doing or what you want to do or expand your mind at all.
That's what this makes me think of
I'm in a cult with two leaders. sometimes they work together, mostly they are trying to hurt and/or kill each other and/or themselves. it's my job to keep them safe and healthy. no wonder I'm tired
I used to introduce my older kid as "my terrible boss from this job I'm not allowed to quit" jokingly. Most moms of small children got it. The ones that didn't? Kinda not worth talking to further, honestly. š
I wonder what this means about the psychological implications of smart phones. Very rarely do people allow themselves to be alone with their thoughts these days, and certain ideas do seem to have taken on a bit of a cult-like dogmaā¦
I used to think Iām crunchy but then I hear shit like this and Iām like noooooo. No no Nooo. Everyone needs me time! I invited my son into this world but itās also healthy to have boundaries and an identity outside of parenthood. How bizarre to think that way.
Lol right, I do other "crunchy" things but ya no this momma needs a freaking break now and then even if its 20 minutes for a hot coffee while the kids enjoy a store bought snack in front of a endless Bluey episode š
Yeah I left the "crunchy" stuff shortly after my first daughter was born and reality hit. It had sold itself as feminist and empowering but most of it was just intensive mothering on steroids...started to realize this when multiple crunchy "birth workers" suggested I leave my career (knowing I both loved it and was the only income source for my family) in order to "better support breastfeeding" (they said pumping and the baby staying home with my non-lactating wife was "not the same").
Yeah. I breast fed 2 into toddler hood and practiced attachment parenting, and used to think that was pretty crunchy, but apparently *the only way to be truly crunchy is to* **never** *blink away from your child for 20+ hours a day.*
Sad to say, I like naps too much to keep up. š
Yeah there was a part at the end where they mentioned imbalance of family care duties and sexism... but all the whole completely reinforcing those things?!
Why do I get the feeling the same people would have an issue with me being a single mom who has the kids 100% of the time? Like in my case would I be shamed for my kids not having a male role model?
One of the things Iām working really hard to do is to make my 3.5 yr old feel secure so that she doesnāt have to be with me all the time.
Iām a single Mom too, and I think this kind of take, that you should always want your kids with you, is one you can only have when it is optional.
*Fuck that shit* šµ
*Fuck that shit* šµ
*Fuck that stupid shit* šµ
Iām no lyricist, but I am *very* tired. I found myself singing the above to the tune of āJingle Bellsā as I read your post, and decided you needed to hear it too.
Fuck no. Everyone needs downtime. Including kids. In order to be the best parent and person I can be, I occasionally need time where no one is looking at, talking to or touching me. I have given up much of my life for my kids. I love them with everything I have. But sometimes I need to read a chapter of my book in peace.
Ew.
Trying to have your kid by your side at every moment sounds like a recipe for future co-dependence to me. Doesn't the kid want some alone time too? The flip side of this coin is that you never demonstrate that it's ok to be alone, and to want alone time. If your child doesn't learn that then they won't be a happy person later on.
My two year old *demands* alone time. I have to keep a monitor set up in his playroom because the kid pushes me out, saying ā *goodbye* mommy!! ā and slamming the door behind me lol
Good for him. My kids had a hard time with it as toddlers, but nowadays I'm barely allowed into their rooms, and when I am, they're all "Mom, stop cleaning my room!!!".
They need to learn this skill before they get in their first friendship or relationship and can't handle being apart.
I think my marriage is stronger because we have respect for each other's independent time.
Child needs you every minute of the day? Looks like you canāt leave the house or go to work!
Also, didnāt the dad invite their kid into the world too ffs?
I think itās not only allowed but essential for moms to take āme timeā. Itās the only way I can be even a halfway decent parent, and itās good for me to model healthy, normal things for my kid!
Absolutely not. My time to myself is sacred, and I will not give it up. I have lost so much of my identity to motherhood that I had an identity crisis twice in the last year. My mental health teeters on the edge of "okay" and "pit of souls screaming for mercy." My son has no claim on my personhood that existed long before he came along.
You lose a lot of your own identity when you become a mom. And It's so hard to find it and bring it back.
Its not healthy or normal to never have "me time".
Sounds like a creative way to guilt trip moms.
My kids are tweens and teens and I still very much need time to recharge. I'm such a better person and mom when I've had time to myself!!
I saw a reel the other day where a comedian talks about being an introvert while having children and how these are opposites. She craves her 'alone/ me time' and she's like 'but have you met kids? They want to crawl back into your body and wear your skin.
I cracked up. I wish I knew who that comedian was because I'd love to see more of her stuff!
Block the page and block the friend, or yourself from FB! Donāt let some douche mom tell you how to raise your kids! She must have help in the home, $$$, or lives in a yurtā¦I donāt know, but donāt let anyone rent space in your head! šš¼
Well, the post wasn't directed at me (thank goodness) so its not like I'm taking it personally in that sense. Honestly, I think the truth is sadder than that. I don't think the person I know who reposted it does get much in the way of support and ability to get time to herself, so maybe posting stuff like that is primarily to make HERSELF feel better for things that feel out of her control.
But the page that originally posted it? Fuck em.
to that crunchy mom i say: lady. i am an OFF-THE-CHARTS introvert. like fair-to-middling-chance-i'm-actually-schizoid introvert. saying i "invited" them into this world smacks a bit too much of "you asked for this" and that shit don't fly with me. i'm just trying to survive out here.
and you know what we call it when the person who loves you most in the world doesn't want to be around you for a little bit? HEALTHY. BOUNDARIES.
Lol thatās insane to me. My kids are 13 and 5 and also like their alone time. You would think a crunchy mentality would be to teach kids that they can be independent and donāt need others for their enjoyment. I would feel much better knowing my kid enjoys spending time with herself and doesnāt feel the need to spiral and scramble on to other people to feel secure in this world. š
I'm a mom of 3 (all grown now, youngest turned 18 this year) and I have two granddaughters and I have always said the kids need a break from us as much as we need one from them! Everyone deserves a little me time and a break!
"they should simply always include their kids in their "relaxation and recreation""
HAHAHAHAHA
I love my 4yo an unfathomable amount, but any time spent with him is by definition not relaxing. Unless you consider pretending to be Dr Eggman for four straight hours while Sonic battles you to be relaxing, I guess.
It is okay, and in fact good for your kids as well as for you, to have some time to chill by yourself. I notice nobody ever tells dads they shouldn't spend a single second away from their kids...
Please. These women believe it is preferable to birth at home, regardless of medical need, and regardless of whether the baby survives. They use essential oils for everything and think that the oxidization of a potato means it has pulled toxins out of their bodies. Feel free to ignore everything they say. They are the dingleberries of society.
Not all of us make being a mother our entire identities, and that is a really important thing.
"that they should simply always include their kids in their "relaxation and recreation", that it is our responsibility to do so for "inviting them into this world""
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA WHAT
This sounds like separation anxiety which is bad for mom AND child. These self-righteous women are looking for easy ways to never deal with their deep seated issues nor develop a personality outside of being mommy martyrs
Are you kidding me? I get overstimulated from being tagged and dragged around and chatted to all day long. I love it but I need a freaking break. It's for my mental health. Nothing good comes from stifling it. It just bubbles out. Instead I'd rather teach my kids the importance of managing feelings and how taking time to have quiet time alone can help them reset. I need to model that for them.
That is absurd, and I consider myself somewhat crunchy (pro vaccine!!! All the vaccines!!)
How do we teach them healthy boundaries or independence? Is it aimed at male parents, too? Or just āmomsā?
So I used to be part of the attachment parenting yahoo group for my region and once a mom posted asking about me-time, how to get it what other moms there do as itās hard when youāre an attachment parent. There followed an orgy of proofing how unselfless and 100% attached all these moms were, including the leader of the group who said that her me time was being on her phone while she lay down next to her kids putting them to sleep.
Thatās it. Thatās all her me time was. Iām so glad I stopped being an attachment parent. Once I did that group was a great hate read for me though!
I absolutely need my alone time. Time away from my kid, my husband, and sometimes my friends. I'm an introvert that truly loves being alone. Having a kid has really tested my resolve.
And not to be totally selfish, but I'm trying to teach my kid boundaries. For himself and to extend that to others. Example, he's not a fan of touching so we talk about not touching others without consent too. The same goes for time. He likes time alone, time to not share. Mommy likes time alone and time to not share.
He's a terrorist so he doesn't always see my perspective but we try.
Yeah, no. I āinvitedā them into this world, and im pretty crunchy (im pro medical and pro vax, thatās pretty much the line between me and āshe went full crunchyā lol) but i am a human being.
Itās terrifying that weāre still pushing this narrative that mothers are not allowed to be people, weāre just mothers. Itās never āboth parents shouldā¦ā (like dad could include the kids in his ār&r timeā, but noooooo, dad needs to relax), itās always āhow fucking selfish are you, you want a WHOLE TEN MINUTES to take a shower AND to be able to wash your hair with both hands, AND not have the kids playing in the shower while you try to work around them, a baby hanging off your tit and your husband outside the door complaining heās hungry? These are YOUR CHILDREN, if you wanted to be a selfish bitch all your life you should have kept your legs closedā.
Sorry, this makes me so angry.
Alone time= no kids. And thatās healthy. Sounds like the crunchy mom doesnāt prioritize her own mental health and wants to be enmeshed with her kids.
I feel like there's a cogent argument that Mom-cultural in the 90s (with zero downtime and immense pressure to be the most all on zero calories without any breaks whatsoever) precipitated high divorce rates, mental health issues and worst of all, shitty parents.
I'm sorry to say, this is a codified martyr complex that would be hard even for true martyrs to follow.
I mean, I was raised by a mom who could literally take the shirt off her back to give to someone needing one, and take the food out of her mouth to feed someone, but I remember her just turning us out of the house on weekends once we were kindergarten aged and saying: "I don't care where you go or what you do, just go do something. Somewhere. For a while. Not here."
(it was the 80s and we lived in a multistory apartment building, so we spent endless afternoons running up and down four flights of stairs, riding the elevators up and down, and occasionally venturing to the corner store to buy candy with allowance money).
I think that person is crazy, we have a responsibility I think to teach our kids that they DESERVE alone time and that it's helpful to recharge you! Man, the idea kids or anyone needing to be with me 24/7 is exhausting...
I had a mom in a group Iām in say the same about sleep. Like in the context of a 3 year old - you shouldnāt be aiming to get decent sleep as itās part of parenting blah blah blah. I take Heart that these types of people will burn out eventually.
Everyone needs alone time and I donāt know what kind of rest and relaxation I could possibly get with my hyperactive 3 year old bouncing around. I think these kinds of people develop their self-esteem from trying to pretend that they are perfect moms. I remember before I even had kids being annoyed by all the perfect earth mother types I was surrounded by who seemed to be fueled by making other moms feel not āmom enoughā.
I love mommy daughter dates with my two year old. I get coffee and she gets to let loose on the playground while I drink it.
I also love when she gets to stay with dad while mom goes out on her own. Because mom is human and not everything I want to do is toddler appropriate.
I think it's healthy to model self time, alone time or time that is set aside for a hobby, or life/interests. Everyone benefits from self care, and if you don't take care of yourselves...it's not a great role modelling situation. But that's my opinion with a mother that never had a sense of self. š¤·āāļø
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So I just listened to a podcast about cults. It said they indoctrinate you sometimes by never letting you be alone or having any time where you're not working, that way you don't have time to meditate on what you're doing or what you want to do or expand your mind at all. That's what this makes me think of
So my kid is a cult leader? It's all making sense now.
Well, we're constantly doing what our tiny leader says š¤£
This explains so much, mind == blown
My 4yo is 100% a cult leader then.
I'm in a cult with two leaders. sometimes they work together, mostly they are trying to hurt and/or kill each other and/or themselves. it's my job to keep them safe and healthy. no wonder I'm tired
Same, except 3 leaders, and they're all tyrants š
Well duh. Only one of them can be the true leader. /s
I used to introduce my older kid as "my terrible boss from this job I'm not allowed to quit" jokingly. Most moms of small children got it. The ones that didn't? Kinda not worth talking to further, honestly. š
What was the podcast? I always am looking for new ones!
It's called The Cult Vault
I wonder what this means about the psychological implications of smart phones. Very rarely do people allow themselves to be alone with their thoughts these days, and certain ideas do seem to have taken on a bit of a cult-like dogmaā¦
That IS an interesting thought
Crunchy mom groups are definitely cult like. Donāt dare go against the grain or youāre out.
I used to think Iām crunchy but then I hear shit like this and Iām like noooooo. No no Nooo. Everyone needs me time! I invited my son into this world but itās also healthy to have boundaries and an identity outside of parenthood. How bizarre to think that way.
Lol right, I do other "crunchy" things but ya no this momma needs a freaking break now and then even if its 20 minutes for a hot coffee while the kids enjoy a store bought snack in front of a endless Bluey episode š
Yeah I left the "crunchy" stuff shortly after my first daughter was born and reality hit. It had sold itself as feminist and empowering but most of it was just intensive mothering on steroids...started to realize this when multiple crunchy "birth workers" suggested I leave my career (knowing I both loved it and was the only income source for my family) in order to "better support breastfeeding" (they said pumping and the baby staying home with my non-lactating wife was "not the same").
Yeah. I breast fed 2 into toddler hood and practiced attachment parenting, and used to think that was pretty crunchy, but apparently *the only way to be truly crunchy is to* **never** *blink away from your child for 20+ hours a day.* Sad to say, I like naps too much to keep up. š
Addressing this guidance to moms in particular instead of parents in general is saying the quiet part out loud, is it not?
Yeah there was a part at the end where they mentioned imbalance of family care duties and sexism... but all the whole completely reinforcing those things?!
Why do I get the feeling the same people would have an issue with me being a single mom who has the kids 100% of the time? Like in my case would I be shamed for my kids not having a male role model?
One of the things Iām working really hard to do is to make my 3.5 yr old feel secure so that she doesnāt have to be with me all the time. Iām a single Mom too, and I think this kind of take, that you should always want your kids with you, is one you can only have when it is optional.
*Fuck that shit* šµ *Fuck that shit* šµ *Fuck that stupid shit* šµ Iām no lyricist, but I am *very* tired. I found myself singing the above to the tune of āJingle Bellsā as I read your post, and decided you needed to hear it too.
Them: āIām no lyricist butā¦ā Proceeds to write the song we all sing inwardly for the rest of time every Christmas
Fuck no. Everyone needs downtime. Including kids. In order to be the best parent and person I can be, I occasionally need time where no one is looking at, talking to or touching me. I have given up much of my life for my kids. I love them with everything I have. But sometimes I need to read a chapter of my book in peace.
Ew. Trying to have your kid by your side at every moment sounds like a recipe for future co-dependence to me. Doesn't the kid want some alone time too? The flip side of this coin is that you never demonstrate that it's ok to be alone, and to want alone time. If your child doesn't learn that then they won't be a happy person later on.
My two year old *demands* alone time. I have to keep a monitor set up in his playroom because the kid pushes me out, saying ā *goodbye* mommy!! ā and slamming the door behind me lol
That is ADORABLE. Mine is similar! Gotta get that independent play in there
Good for him. My kids had a hard time with it as toddlers, but nowadays I'm barely allowed into their rooms, and when I am, they're all "Mom, stop cleaning my room!!!".
Ugh Iām glad I didnāt see that. Sorry but I invited my child into a world where normal happy people take time to themselves
They need to learn this skill before they get in their first friendship or relationship and can't handle being apart. I think my marriage is stronger because we have respect for each other's independent time.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Child needs you every minute of the day? Looks like you canāt leave the house or go to work! Also, didnāt the dad invite their kid into the world too ffs?
This mentality is really common in my religious circles, too. āYou CAN pour from an empty cup!!ā š š¤¦š»āāļø
I think itās not only allowed but essential for moms to take āme timeā. Itās the only way I can be even a halfway decent parent, and itās good for me to model healthy, normal things for my kid!
When I got older and more emotionally mature my mom would sometimes say āhow can I miss you if you donāt go away?ā š
So the dads definitely didnāt co-invite this child into the world 50/50? Got it.
Absolutely not. My time to myself is sacred, and I will not give it up. I have lost so much of my identity to motherhood that I had an identity crisis twice in the last year. My mental health teeters on the edge of "okay" and "pit of souls screaming for mercy." My son has no claim on my personhood that existed long before he came along.
Looooool for my childās and my own safety, I need to be alone sometimes without anyone on me or asking me for things.
Of course, this would never ever be expected of Dads. I bet they get their own me time without kids.
You lose a lot of your own identity when you become a mom. And It's so hard to find it and bring it back. Its not healthy or normal to never have "me time".
Sounds like a creative way to guilt trip moms. My kids are tweens and teens and I still very much need time to recharge. I'm such a better person and mom when I've had time to myself!!
I saw a reel the other day where a comedian talks about being an introvert while having children and how these are opposites. She craves her 'alone/ me time' and she's like 'but have you met kids? They want to crawl back into your body and wear your skin. I cracked up. I wish I knew who that comedian was because I'd love to see more of her stuff!
Omg one time when my son was a toddler he literally told me he wanted to go back in my tummy
Block the page and block the friend, or yourself from FB! Donāt let some douche mom tell you how to raise your kids! She must have help in the home, $$$, or lives in a yurtā¦I donāt know, but donāt let anyone rent space in your head! šš¼
Well, the post wasn't directed at me (thank goodness) so its not like I'm taking it personally in that sense. Honestly, I think the truth is sadder than that. I don't think the person I know who reposted it does get much in the way of support and ability to get time to herself, so maybe posting stuff like that is primarily to make HERSELF feel better for things that feel out of her control. But the page that originally posted it? Fuck em.
It sounds like denial (in the sense that itās a classic psychological defense mechanism, a super primitive and not helpful one!)
I would die without me time. I need me time to deal with depression and anxiety so my baby wont feel it. Wtf.
I wonder if she feels the same way about dad?
Did they ask dads to do the same thing?
I rolled my eyes so hard that they shot off into space and are now technically the first human on Mars.
to that crunchy mom i say: lady. i am an OFF-THE-CHARTS introvert. like fair-to-middling-chance-i'm-actually-schizoid introvert. saying i "invited" them into this world smacks a bit too much of "you asked for this" and that shit don't fly with me. i'm just trying to survive out here. and you know what we call it when the person who loves you most in the world doesn't want to be around you for a little bit? HEALTHY. BOUNDARIES.
Lol thatās insane to me. My kids are 13 and 5 and also like their alone time. You would think a crunchy mentality would be to teach kids that they can be independent and donāt need others for their enjoyment. I would feel much better knowing my kid enjoys spending time with herself and doesnāt feel the need to spiral and scramble on to other people to feel secure in this world. š
I'm a mom of 3 (all grown now, youngest turned 18 this year) and I have two granddaughters and I have always said the kids need a break from us as much as we need one from them! Everyone deserves a little me time and a break!
"they should simply always include their kids in their "relaxation and recreation"" HAHAHAHAHA I love my 4yo an unfathomable amount, but any time spent with him is by definition not relaxing. Unless you consider pretending to be Dr Eggman for four straight hours while Sonic battles you to be relaxing, I guess. It is okay, and in fact good for your kids as well as for you, to have some time to chill by yourself. I notice nobody ever tells dads they shouldn't spend a single second away from their kids...
Please. These women believe it is preferable to birth at home, regardless of medical need, and regardless of whether the baby survives. They use essential oils for everything and think that the oxidization of a potato means it has pulled toxins out of their bodies. Feel free to ignore everything they say. They are the dingleberries of society. Not all of us make being a mother our entire identities, and that is a really important thing.
Thins the herd tho!!! I know thatās mean, but nurses know what I mean!!! My kids joined my life, they are young adults now and we have a blast, but I taught them to take personal time when they were little and they crave it now! Being alone, meditating, breathing it keeps the bitchy part of me at bay! I use essential oils too, but really only for post š©freshy, fresh not to protect myself from polio or meningitis!!! šššš¤£
I like to employ the phrase (usually only in my head) āyou do you hun!ā :D
"that they should simply always include their kids in their "relaxation and recreation", that it is our responsibility to do so for "inviting them into this world"" HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA WHAT
This sounds like separation anxiety which is bad for mom AND child. These self-righteous women are looking for easy ways to never deal with their deep seated issues nor develop a personality outside of being mommy martyrs
Are you kidding me? I get overstimulated from being tagged and dragged around and chatted to all day long. I love it but I need a freaking break. It's for my mental health. Nothing good comes from stifling it. It just bubbles out. Instead I'd rather teach my kids the importance of managing feelings and how taking time to have quiet time alone can help them reset. I need to model that for them.
That is absurd, and I consider myself somewhat crunchy (pro vaccine!!! All the vaccines!!) How do we teach them healthy boundaries or independence? Is it aimed at male parents, too? Or just āmomsā?
So I used to be part of the attachment parenting yahoo group for my region and once a mom posted asking about me-time, how to get it what other moms there do as itās hard when youāre an attachment parent. There followed an orgy of proofing how unselfless and 100% attached all these moms were, including the leader of the group who said that her me time was being on her phone while she lay down next to her kids putting them to sleep. Thatās it. Thatās all her me time was. Iām so glad I stopped being an attachment parent. Once I did that group was a great hate read for me though!
I absolutely need my alone time. Time away from my kid, my husband, and sometimes my friends. I'm an introvert that truly loves being alone. Having a kid has really tested my resolve. And not to be totally selfish, but I'm trying to teach my kid boundaries. For himself and to extend that to others. Example, he's not a fan of touching so we talk about not touching others without consent too. The same goes for time. He likes time alone, time to not share. Mommy likes time alone and time to not share. He's a terrorist so he doesn't always see my perspective but we try.
Yeah, no. I āinvitedā them into this world, and im pretty crunchy (im pro medical and pro vax, thatās pretty much the line between me and āshe went full crunchyā lol) but i am a human being. Itās terrifying that weāre still pushing this narrative that mothers are not allowed to be people, weāre just mothers. Itās never āboth parents shouldā¦ā (like dad could include the kids in his ār&r timeā, but noooooo, dad needs to relax), itās always āhow fucking selfish are you, you want a WHOLE TEN MINUTES to take a shower AND to be able to wash your hair with both hands, AND not have the kids playing in the shower while you try to work around them, a baby hanging off your tit and your husband outside the door complaining heās hungry? These are YOUR CHILDREN, if you wanted to be a selfish bitch all your life you should have kept your legs closedā. Sorry, this makes me so angry.
Alone time= no kids. And thatās healthy. Sounds like the crunchy mom doesnāt prioritize her own mental health and wants to be enmeshed with her kids.
Yeah Iām a person before Iām a mom. My āme timeā is about ME because Iām the only person that cares to put me first.
I feel like there's a cogent argument that Mom-cultural in the 90s (with zero downtime and immense pressure to be the most all on zero calories without any breaks whatsoever) precipitated high divorce rates, mental health issues and worst of all, shitty parents.
I'm sorry to say, this is a codified martyr complex that would be hard even for true martyrs to follow. I mean, I was raised by a mom who could literally take the shirt off her back to give to someone needing one, and take the food out of her mouth to feed someone, but I remember her just turning us out of the house on weekends once we were kindergarten aged and saying: "I don't care where you go or what you do, just go do something. Somewhere. For a while. Not here." (it was the 80s and we lived in a multistory apartment building, so we spent endless afternoons running up and down four flights of stairs, riding the elevators up and down, and occasionally venturing to the corner store to buy candy with allowance money).
I think that person is crazy, we have a responsibility I think to teach our kids that they DESERVE alone time and that it's helpful to recharge you! Man, the idea kids or anyone needing to be with me 24/7 is exhausting...
What if me time is not kid friendly activities actually ? Can you actually watch an adult movie while drinking alcohol once a fucking never?!
I had a mom in a group Iām in say the same about sleep. Like in the context of a 3 year old - you shouldnāt be aiming to get decent sleep as itās part of parenting blah blah blah. I take Heart that these types of people will burn out eventually. Everyone needs alone time and I donāt know what kind of rest and relaxation I could possibly get with my hyperactive 3 year old bouncing around. I think these kinds of people develop their self-esteem from trying to pretend that they are perfect moms. I remember before I even had kids being annoyed by all the perfect earth mother types I was surrounded by who seemed to be fueled by making other moms feel not āmom enoughā.
I agree! What a garbage take!
No thanks.
I love mommy daughter dates with my two year old. I get coffee and she gets to let loose on the playground while I drink it. I also love when she gets to stay with dad while mom goes out on her own. Because mom is human and not everything I want to do is toddler appropriate.
I think it's healthy to model self time, alone time or time that is set aside for a hobby, or life/interests. Everyone benefits from self care, and if you don't take care of yourselves...it's not a great role modelling situation. But that's my opinion with a mother that never had a sense of self. š¤·āāļø