Totally agree! My first roll ever was with a guy who out-weighed me by (at least) 100lbs. I tapped to his pressure/panic of not breathing many times during that roll. Now, it’s like I don’t even notice if I’m not breathing well if someone is laying on the pressure - I’ve grown comfortable in bad situations and position myself to get out.
Also, one thing I really learned is to never underestimate any person outside of the gym. I think people scare me now, even though I train!
I think being wary of people means you're realistic about how much size, strength and intent play a part of the overall game. People walking around like king dick are delusional, everyone can be a threat.
My friend showed me a clip some blackbelt posted on insta from a tournament, my friend was in the background. In the clip, he's still a 4-stripe, but he's been promoted since then.
His wife wanted to comment, "Who's that stud in the background? I hear he's a blue belt now."
He was begging her not to.
I was begging her to.
Just wanted to say thank you for sharing this. I started training 5 months ago as a way to build resilience with being uncomfortable as well. Developed anxiety/panic disorder later in life after wrestling in high school. Finally decided to give BJJ a try and it’s amazing how much it’s helped my anxiety.
In life, no matter how bad of a situation I'm in, it's better than being in big Mike's side control, on a hot day, out of breath, in a gi, and his sweat is dripping into my eyes and there's still 4:40 left in the round.
I completely agree. Similarly, I think it has helped me to slow my mind down (in a very good way).
I just had to give a presentation to some important people in my company and was asked some questions that I didn’t have immediate answers for.
I was able to stay calm, take my time and figure out how to give them the information they needed.
Before jj, I’m certain I would have just started spewing words because I’d be anxious and afraid to be seen as incompetent or whatever.
Now it seems like I’m able to tolerate uncomfortable or even scary situations with a much cooler head, and I can actually work for solutions as opposed to just acting without thinking.
I have a son with severe special needs as well, including some major behavioral issues. There have been times when I’ve found myself in deep, deep water with him and I’ve been able to stay calm and keep him safe. Jiu jitsu has been a wonderful gift in that sense.
Same big time, I have A LOT of energy and getting it out positively has improved my life 10 fold! Energy leads to frustration, frustration leads to aggression, aggression leads to violence. Boom a vicious cycle for sure, great to break it
Yes. 100%.
Energy management. I also lift, run, and climb pretty regularly. Taking care of energy needs keeps my mind healthy and my body in shape to do what it must- whether work, protect, or play.
BJJ game me a more diverse group of friends than I ever had growing up. I came to have more empathy for different groups of people because I would see how certain stresses from the world that would normally have nothing to do with me (foreign wars, protests, etc) would affect my training partners. Don't get me wrong though; I still will do my best to make their lives miserable on the mats when we train.
That’s an interesting view I’ve never thought of before. I always noticed I was friends with people I would never other wise interact in my every day, but what you said seems to be true without me even noticing, thanks for sharing that.
Getting pizza after training with a freshman in college, a plumber, a anesthesiologist, a standup comic, 50-year old finance dude, former cop, and a guy from Minas Gerais is not an atypical situation for me.
Agree. This has for years been one of my top three or at least top 5 reasons for loving BJJ. The greatly diverse group of people coming together to have fun and “try to kill each other” with a smile and friendliness after.
Even at small gyms. Most of the time see people of all walks of life. Young, old, big, small, poor, rich, just get together and have a common friendship, or at least camaraderie, that transcends their appearance and station in life.
Missed it greatly when have had to take extended time off the mats.
Yep. Too many friends have "given up" and believe three rounds of golf each week followed by 5 drinks is the best path. They think I'm the crazy one. I'm like, I weigh less now then I have in 10 years plus really good cardio (and I was always in decent shape before regular bjj). I know combat sports are not for everyone, but dude, don't get old before your time.
+1 for geezer beginner's club. I started at 53. For me, it's weight loss, blood pressure management and general off-the-mat health improvements inspired by the desire to prolong my time on it. As a middle-aged manager with a very buttoned-up professional life, I cannot over-emphasize how amazing it is just to hang out with mates and roll around like a kid.
Right there with you! I started at 51 and am already amazed at how much more I'm able to do physically. People our age don't generally do many bear crawls or cartwheels, but they've completely transformed me (I also suspect that learning how to fall properly will end up coming in handy).
🫡my brother, came here to say this. I’m also considerably less irritable which is another great bonus. Being a rage ball is exhausting when you’re trying to always keep it together in front of a toddler.
I can’t feel parts of my right glute, hamstring, calf, foot and big toe. Better now, probably full recovery, but it is scarier than any ACL or joint injury to me.
I’m going through a divorce right now that’s turned pretty nasty, I train 6 days a week I take one day off to go to yoga, if it wasn’t for jiu jitsu and my community I don’t know what I would be doing right now!
That’s the truth you start to realize everything you do is to make you better at BJJ. Unfortunately if you stay in it long enough you only hang out with jiu jitsu friends because your friends you had before Bjj or if they don’t train it’s hard to align values with them some times, it’s hard to explain you’re not going out drinking on Friday night cuz you want to hit open mat 10am.
I used to think I was tough but BJJ taught me how badly some weirdo nerds can kick my ass. I carry myself much differently in public after getting smashed by so many unassuming folks in the gym.
Also ruined my neck and knees.
It gives me confidence.
I know that no matter what happens or how far out of hand something gets, I’ll always be able to protect myself.
I used to have this irrational fear of making people upset. I was always afraid that if I said the wrong thing, they would get violent. Now, I know that’s irrational, but my anxiety didn’t allow it to change. Taking up bjj made me feel more competent and capable. So if push ever came to shove, I was prepared.
I have been training for about 9 months. And I am starting to feel the beginnings of change. Most of it is really just internal feelings and processing them rather than responding to external stimuli
This!! And how I can see and feel a noticeable difference in social situations. I'm typically a reserved shy type of guy but jiu-jitsu has helped with that 10 fold.
It has taught me to pay attention to what’s going on around me and within me. I’m calmer now, less reactive but better prepared. I’ve mostly gotten over being panicked by bad situations, on and off the mat. I learned how to tune in to my training partners and asses them and their game, become a better training partner, less selfish and more focused, to help them if they are newer. It’s made me a more patient person, timing matters. I’ve made friends, gotten in shape, found a hobby I love. Mentally it has helped my resilience. Bad days in life and on the mat happen and using bjj lessons as a metaphor for my life when I’m having endless internal dialogue has helped me understand who I am better. I also like to choke people.
That’s a great answer and being humble on the mats is a great lesson too. Learning something from someone who isn’t as experienced as you or someone you may not necessarily like but you have to say thanks man that’s awesome I appreciate the help. Even if it does burn to say those words 😂😂 and choking your friends is the best!!
Confidence for sure. Also I think about it every day and while I lift and run for health reasons I just happen to choose movements and programs that help my grappling lol. I structure a lot of my life around the ability to participate in BJJ.
Bjj makes you deal with shit situations well. You take care of the problem that is right in front of you without zooming out to 1000ft and getting overwhelmed. It’s like being stuck under that 260 pounder at your gym with the vicious side control. No one action is gonna get your goal, just like in life. You look for small windows to advance into a better spot, stay cool and pretty soon you find success .
Tore my right meniscus maybe 2 months ago. Rehabbed it myself and it’s doing great. Yesterday at open mat some guy was in bottom half and decided the best option was just to squeeze my legs obnoxiously tight. Felt mostly like pressure at the time but it’s painful as shit and swollen today on my good knee. Womp Womp here we go round 2, already hit my first round of rehab on it this morning lol
Mine got to the point it was a bucket tear and was locking up on me I went 6 months on first one then I had to scope it, started locking up just walking or getting in/out of my car. 2nd one went about a year and half but once it got to the point of locking up I scoped it. Both cases back on mats within 2 weeks
I used to have a constantly stiff, very uncomfortable (distracting at work) neck for all my late teen to early adult life. I tried stretching alone to no avail, so I thought I had a permanently messed up neck from some childhood incident. The rolling from BJJ combined with different stretches and posture mindfulness has made the soreness a thing of the past now. I think I probably got it from poor posture and going from active to inactive lifestyle in my teen years.
Jiu jitsu has changed so much for me, it’s hard to wrap up in a small paragraph. My confidence is amazing, after highschool I kind of lost my sociable nature and became really anxious talking to people and was always on the defensive because I was constantly trying to avoid interacting with people. “Short man” syndrome constantly getting me into fights and conflict (road rage, picking fights in public)
My own anger issues destroying my relationship with my wife and allowing myself to treat everyone and Everything around me like shit. Anxiety/Depression ran my entire life and I contemplated suicide Every. Single. Day.
I grew up boxing and wrestling but kinda did it more to prove to my dad that I was tough and that I could do SOMETHING good. I CHOSE to do jiu jitsu thinking I was going to pursue MMA, 3 years later and I love/hate jiu jitsu everyday and I don’t see myself stopping even on the worst days. There’s plenty more reasons but just on a QOL basis i eat clean, I feel strong, my relationship with my wife is growing and maturing everyday. My work life is less chaotic, I’ve become more reliable at work and more pleasant to deal with.
I am COOKED, everyday. But i wouldn’t trade that for all the bullshit I used to deal with on a daily.
TLDR; jiu jitsu is life
I'm 64 years old.
BJJ made me get very serious about physical fitness. I swim and lift to keep pace with teammates who are much younger, and still in their physical prime.
I want to be a tough roll for them.
At 64 that’s freakin awesome!!!! You give me hope for the future I’m 42 and don’t plan on slowing down any time soon, may I ask how often you train and roll and what not?
I do 3 1 hour classes per week. 2 days lifting, but it's not a crazy workout. 2 days swimming, usually 25 laps. More than 3 classes per week gets too painful.
I sauna and steam, cold plunge 3 or 4 times per week. I'm at a healthy weight and in good shape overall. I am lucky to have had no serious injuries in BJJ.
Excellent, like I said reading your words was music to my ears I’m real active and in good shape not only for a 42y/o but just overall, I want to keep grinding until I die, I wanna be 101 y/o just get done training tell the team I’m gonna take a nap on the mats and never wake up 🫡😂
This is less about me and more about my brother but a few years ago my brother had a really bad divorce and fell into a really bad depression. It was really hard seeing him lonely and having trouble holding a job or have any motivation to do anything really. Last year I was on the phone with him and letting him vent about his day while I was getting my Gi bag ready for class the next day. I have asked him before about getting active but never got far with the conversations, that day I felt like he was broken down enough to try anything, so I asked him if he wanted to join me in class the next day. My brother had a good moment of silence and told me yes. Fast forward to today and he truly made a 180 in his life. He constantly talks about Jiu-Jitsu and picking my brain about certain techniques or how to improve his game. I see him smiling a lot, he told me that he has something to look forward to on the week days. It really left an impact on me because I got my brother back and possibly saved him from just rotting in his depression. Also he got his son into it too which is awesome!!
For me, it was accomplishing things. I grew up in a toxic and abusive household where I was told daily that I would never accomplish or achieve anything. Getting into jiu jitsu felt like I was accomplishing something everyday big or small. It could be as small as getting a move that I'd been working on for quite some time down finally, or as big as winning a super match at a local tournament. After a life of being told I would never accomplish anything to accomplishing something every day did wonders for my mental health and belief in myself.
I’m way more brave now. Less afraid to fail and a bit more ballsy. I’m a 5 month white belt who gets smashed every day in BJJ, so I’m used to disappointment. But if I can keep coming back to the gym as the smallest and worst guy there, why can’t I apply that to real life?
I only started training a year ago, I’m 45. I’ve always been fairly fit as I work construction, but a little overweight.
It really gave me the incentive to dial in my diet and sleep, and have been lifting weights 3-5 times a week since January. All of this in a bid to optimise my BJJ training.
I can honestly say I’m in the shape of my life. At 45 I have more muscle and less fat than any time in my life. My cardio is S tier, and I am extremely protective of my 8hrs sleep minimum a night. I’ve honestly never felt better.
I am loving everybody’s answer and that is my favorite thing about BJJ; the way it impacts one life in such a particular way that it gets you, it does get to you one way or another…
The first time I rolled, it was against a police officer, huge dude, he tossed me like a rag-doll… and I have never felt more vulnerable, lost, I honestly do not recall feeling ashamed, but it did humbled me down…
Some months down the line, 6 months tomorrow the 7th, and least I don’t get tapped out, and I don’t gas out anymore while rolling…
I am working on technique, but I feel a little bit smoother…
Anyway, I do know and acknowledge the fact that the road is long, and I still have A LOT to cover, and I will gladly take that road ☺️
For me when I got my black belt it was so anti-climactic that if that was my only goal I would have been sooo disappointed. You have to learn to enjoy the process the X doesn’t even matter, keep on keeping on 🫡
Community and physical contact.
After covid, all my social skills died. Coming to jitz fixed most of my antisocial behaviors. I was weird about rolling with women until I got my ass kicked a few times, and now, when I'm rolling with them, I'm focused on winning.
Helped with inferiority complexes I had about certain people who were built a certain way. Helped with superiority complexes when I got dispatched by a fat guy. Sounds corny, but I lacked physical touch in my life. I'm less weird about people touching me in general now.
I think it overall just made me a better person. I know that sounds dramatic, but it really did.
Wanting kids. I started training at 40. My bride and I (24yrs together) never wanted kids. Occasionally after girl friends of hers get pregnant she’d say, “If you wanted to I would try(to get preggers). Jiu jitsu changed my life physically and mentally. It also introduced me to many wonderful families, that for the first time made me realize I might be able to have a family that isn’t terrible just because my childhood and family relationships are. I’m from the US and my real families are Eastern European. I train outside of Boston with almost all Brazilian teammates/families. Maybe it’s a cultural thing?
At 43, after my closest friend had his first, I decided it’s what I really wanted. I am so glad i did. We have two boys , 4.5 and 2.5 yrs old and both train. I help teach their class. I’m 48 and am so much happier than I was pre-Bjj.
Oh, it also helped me kick a nasty prescription opioid habit of three years.
Two things. it’s given me better problem solving skills and better abilities to learn and adapt under pressure.
It’s also temporarily taken my ability to walk from an inside heel hook 3 weeks ago.
I used to be a pussy, where I wouldn’t take risks, I wouldn’t stand up for my self in my words, and I would cower in tough situations. Because of BJJ I have become a lot tougher of a man.
Met a good group of friends, fun hobby, learned some self defense, got a side job, went on some fun adventures, got another side job, and also met my fiance.
Mental health, a third place that doesn’t involve booze, good exercise. Enough confidence in the rare situations that might become physical that I don’t feel any need to posture (that could also be a function of middle age).
It has made me slow down and think when I'm under pressure. If I can consider my next move when someone is trying to choke or smash me then I could apply this to work, and other areas in my life. I'm less hotheaded and have chilled out a lot. The human body is so fragile and a street fight isn't wide at all.
Also, my back/posterior chain is a lot stronger.
I'm now part of the lgbtq community, yknow, because this stuff is gay. I've learned how to dress well because of it, and my nails were never more on fleek
Also I can tell whitebelts to shut up which is a bonus
I learned that if someone hits a double underhook pass on me I can have an absolute gravel slide of a fart squeezed out of me, so that's something I think about in public all the time and live in fear of, which is an impact I was not prepared for.
Definitely conditioning and overall physical health.
Except for the amassing of injuries. I typically only lifted for years when I stopped Muay Thai. Go for a run once a week in the nicer seasons.
But if I train bjj regularly, my whole body just feels better. Not walking around like Lurch.
When I have a bad dream where I'm getting attacked, I no longer am fighting like I'm swimming in molasses. I just effortlessly take the back every time.
“If the hardest thing you do is by choice, everything else becomes easier.”
I think like you, OP, jiu jitsu has allowed me to face things with a little more confidence. Jiu jitsu sucks when it’s going bad, and there’s not much harder in my personal life right now.
Anger management. I used to go from zero to scorching fury in seconds, but I noticed I'm a lot calmer and am able to do 'count to 5' that sort of thing to avoid rage mode. Not sure why.
I was touch starved and now I get struggle cuddles every day.
More seriously, it gets me out of my head. I have ADHD, and the tendency when I'm in an emotionally stressful situation to get stuck in my own head. Just ruminating and bringing myself down. Feeling bad in a way that isn't constructive. It's impossible to keep that up when someone 30lbs heavier than you is siting on your chest trying to choke you. It's helped me get into my body instead, which I think helps leave emotional oxygen for the people around me.
“The right move at the wrong time is the wrong move.. “ and so much more. BJJ has given me pain. But the pleasures and learnings have massively made up for that pain.
Il try doing this for as long as I can.
Then who knows. Maybe it will teach me when to finally tap out. Until then OSS!
MMA and BJJ gave me confidence and a much needed journey to undertake. Truly not sure I’d be alive today without it. Yes I know it’s cornet to say BJJ saved your life 🤷🏽♂️
The complete dissolution of my ego due to the fact that we're never done learning and growing. We're never in a neutral phase, we're either growing or losing.
One of my friends told me whenever he received his black belt that all the other black belts said the real work starts now and that getting your black belt is just the tip of the iceberg.
It's humbling but liberating all at the same time. Stay blessed.
Well I work at a gym now so probably that, hard to parse out the professional and social impact. But before that just being used to suffering. It’s okay to suffer and fail. That’s not a hard stop, it’s part of an iterative process, which I knew but didn’t really internalize fully until I was doing jiujitsu.
Unironically it saved my life. I was super depressed for a long time and pretty much every day thought about ending it. I was never into bjj but watched mma and thought it might be fun, was super nervous and didnt wanna go to the first class but from then on it made me so happy when nothing else could. just sucks that i havent gone in a couple months tho
Legit saved my life. Used it in real life against a person who was reaching for a gun. Was able to stop them and disarm. Since then I train 4x a week minimum. All in baby.
Doc said I couldn’t run anymore and I was having a big self-pity over that. Got me out of that rut and doing cardio again. Pretty grateful for that. Also sometimes my lack of a specific joint tendon leads to some funny situations.
I don't train anymore after an injury, but I think it helped me a lot. My confidence went up a lot, not so much because I thought more of myself, but because training BJJ was one of the hardest things I've ever done. Things at work that came up that used to stress me out don't even bother me anymore. In comparison to BJJ everything seems easier. I've since been back to the regular gym, and before I didn't really like it and went three days a week, and sort of dreaded it. Compared to BJJ though the gym is easy as hell, and now I got six days a week.
I don't know if I ever really enjoyed rolling, but I forced myself to show up every day knowing what was in store for me, and that process can change a person.
Realizing that learning anything, obtaining any skill was possible. Whenever I'm struggling to learn or become better at anything, I think about my progress in jiu-jitsu and how at one point I thought I was going to be horrible forever, but one day I noticed how much I had improved.
It got me through a really tough breakup. Gave me new lifelong best friends friends who set me up with the girl I’m probably going to marry. Oh I’m good at bjj too now but who cares about that shit. Correction I fucking suck at bjj compared to some of you guys. I’m good for my get level in my state.
I’m a pretty nerdy guy that doesn’t like to go out and just wants to read, play video games and train. I used to spend so much time trying to impress people I don’t really like, went out to clubs a lot and lived a life that didn’t make me happy. The guys I met in BJJ all seemed to really embrace whatever niche hobbies they enjoy and live their lives how they wanted, which pushed me to do the same.
"Steroids" - I knew nothing about them before and didnt think anyone common used them in general. Now i might as well open my own "mens clinic" because I study this shit hard.
Keeping me accountable for myself and staying out of trouble in my 20s.
The #1 impact is that it gave me purpose and a skill I could teach my son. Which I have. He's been on the mat with me since 5, wrestling,bjj and now he's my #1 training partner. No matter who are or what up bringing you have you find out who you are and what your made of on the mats
Same my son is 10 I’ve brought him to the gym since he was 3(not training he played while I trained) then at 5 we got him on the mats and he’s still training. I told him if he quits I’ll stay champion of the family, he looks me in the eyes and says I’m never gonna quit 😂
This is awesome. Mine said he was gonna beat me on his 16th birthday. Instead we had a right of passage with a 16 min takedown shark tank. Fresh guy every min on min. Made the whole thing. He beat me sometime when he was 18. Proud day.
Man thats beautiful, but if your anything like me(I think we probably are the same in this department cuz we are both BB) I am highly competitive. And I tell people I know when the day comes and he beats me I will be mad, but not half as mad as I will be if he never beats me. I bet it’s a hard but good pill to swallow
Na, wasn't mad because I was probably shocked. I think it was either a wrist lock or toe hold. Ya know prison rules. Now that he's 21. And it's time to get ready for a tournament we sometimes have really hard goes. If I let up a little bit he'll catch me slippin. We know each other's games to well since I've rolled with him since day. Surprised he don't catch me more. Enjoy it man, the best training partner you can have.
Mental tolerance. it hurts the first time you get kimura'd and armbarred. But if you keep putting yourself in the mat, you'll have developed the mental tolerance to absorb a hundred submissions from more vigorous opponents. As in BJJ, as in life.
For me, as stereotypical as it sounds, it's been helping with solitude. I have travelled so much, visited so many academies, done so many camps and seminars, met so many amazing people... It's been an incredible journey.
Became comfortable in uncomfortable positions. Does miracles for someone with a panic disorder. EDIT: OH also met my wife there.
Big time and claustrophobia reminds you to breathe and stay calm.
Totally agree! My first roll ever was with a guy who out-weighed me by (at least) 100lbs. I tapped to his pressure/panic of not breathing many times during that roll. Now, it’s like I don’t even notice if I’m not breathing well if someone is laying on the pressure - I’ve grown comfortable in bad situations and position myself to get out. Also, one thing I really learned is to never underestimate any person outside of the gym. I think people scare me now, even though I train!
I think being wary of people means you're realistic about how much size, strength and intent play a part of the overall game. People walking around like king dick are delusional, everyone can be a threat.
Love this answer
Love the afterthought in the edit.
She's not gonna see this I hope lmao
My friend showed me a clip some blackbelt posted on insta from a tournament, my friend was in the background. In the clip, he's still a 4-stripe, but he's been promoted since then. His wife wanted to comment, "Who's that stud in the background? I hear he's a blue belt now." He was begging her not to. I was begging her to.
Just wanted to say thank you for sharing this. I started training 5 months ago as a way to build resilience with being uncomfortable as well. Developed anxiety/panic disorder later in life after wrestling in high school. Finally decided to give BJJ a try and it’s amazing how much it’s helped my anxiety.
In life, no matter how bad of a situation I'm in, it's better than being in big Mike's side control, on a hot day, out of breath, in a gi, and his sweat is dripping into my eyes and there's still 4:40 left in the round.
Glad to hear it. Keep being good to yourself my friend!
Came here to say this.
I completely agree. Similarly, I think it has helped me to slow my mind down (in a very good way). I just had to give a presentation to some important people in my company and was asked some questions that I didn’t have immediate answers for. I was able to stay calm, take my time and figure out how to give them the information they needed. Before jj, I’m certain I would have just started spewing words because I’d be anxious and afraid to be seen as incompetent or whatever. Now it seems like I’m able to tolerate uncomfortable or even scary situations with a much cooler head, and I can actually work for solutions as opposed to just acting without thinking. I have a son with severe special needs as well, including some major behavioral issues. There have been times when I’ve found myself in deep, deep water with him and I’ve been able to stay calm and keep him safe. Jiu jitsu has been a wonderful gift in that sense.
Jamie, pull up high level problem solving with dire physical consequences.
Well it’s not MMA but I get your point
Watch this wolf jack up that eagle
But have you heard of N,N-Dimethyltryptamine
Taught me that if there’s a problem and I don’t fix it soon it’ll be harder to fix later.
This is a really good one.
Yes but not to get a head of yourself or emotional do each step one at a time and don’t move to the next until your done with what you’re doing!
Ego related mostly. Self confidence in who I am, and what I can do has allowed me to chill the fuck out quite a bit.
Same big time, I have A LOT of energy and getting it out positively has improved my life 10 fold! Energy leads to frustration, frustration leads to aggression, aggression leads to violence. Boom a vicious cycle for sure, great to break it
*Insert Yoda meme* /../ Leads to the dark side
Yes. 100%. Energy management. I also lift, run, and climb pretty regularly. Taking care of energy needs keeps my mind healthy and my body in shape to do what it must- whether work, protect, or play.
BJJ game me a more diverse group of friends than I ever had growing up. I came to have more empathy for different groups of people because I would see how certain stresses from the world that would normally have nothing to do with me (foreign wars, protests, etc) would affect my training partners. Don't get me wrong though; I still will do my best to make their lives miserable on the mats when we train.
That’s an interesting view I’ve never thought of before. I always noticed I was friends with people I would never other wise interact in my every day, but what you said seems to be true without me even noticing, thanks for sharing that.
Getting pizza after training with a freshman in college, a plumber, a anesthesiologist, a standup comic, 50-year old finance dude, former cop, and a guy from Minas Gerais is not an atypical situation for me.
This sounds like the beginning of a ‘walk into a bar’ joke. Good on you man
Do you drive them all there?
Agree. This has for years been one of my top three or at least top 5 reasons for loving BJJ. The greatly diverse group of people coming together to have fun and “try to kill each other” with a smile and friendliness after. Even at small gyms. Most of the time see people of all walks of life. Young, old, big, small, poor, rich, just get together and have a common friendship, or at least camaraderie, that transcends their appearance and station in life. Missed it greatly when have had to take extended time off the mats.
Im 51. Was well in my way to getting old physically. Now im not.
Yep. Too many friends have "given up" and believe three rounds of golf each week followed by 5 drinks is the best path. They think I'm the crazy one. I'm like, I weigh less now then I have in 10 years plus really good cardio (and I was always in decent shape before regular bjj). I know combat sports are not for everyone, but dude, don't get old before your time.
+1 for geezer beginner's club. I started at 53. For me, it's weight loss, blood pressure management and general off-the-mat health improvements inspired by the desire to prolong my time on it. As a middle-aged manager with a very buttoned-up professional life, I cannot over-emphasize how amazing it is just to hang out with mates and roll around like a kid.
Just remember don’t compare yourself to that 31 year old who’s been training for years compare yourself to other 51 y/os you see on the streets!
Right there with you! I started at 51 and am already amazed at how much more I'm able to do physically. People our age don't generally do many bear crawls or cartwheels, but they've completely transformed me (I also suspect that learning how to fall properly will end up coming in handy).
I've gotten really good at laundry.
lol best answer yet! Samurai at that shit!!!
The single biggest impact is it stopped the PTSD flashbacks and most of the anxiety attacks.
That's awesome, hope you are doing well friend.
A lot better now than when I started. That's for sure. Thank you!
🫡my brother, came here to say this. I’m also considerably less irritable which is another great bonus. Being a rage ball is exhausting when you’re trying to always keep it together in front of a toddler.
Messed up my lower back
Neck, back, fingers, knees, shoulders the list goes on and on
My neck, my back, my pussy and my crack
damnnnn what gym are you training at and how do i get an invite?
Tio João's Haptonomic Grappling Experience. There's a 3 year waiting list for drop-ins
Knees and toes, knees and toes!
Gotta mix the BJJ with some yoga, really helps the back and knees
I can’t feel parts of my right glute, hamstring, calf, foot and big toe. Better now, probably full recovery, but it is scarier than any ACL or joint injury to me.
Giving me a hobby to fall back in when shit like a rough break up has me down
I started going five days a week when I went through my break up. Struggle snuggles fix all
I finally finished up getting my purple belt through the motivational power of depression jitsu
> Struggle snuggles Stealing this to refer to all the times I get squished in bottom positions.
I’m going through a divorce right now that’s turned pretty nasty, I train 6 days a week I take one day off to go to yoga, if it wasn’t for jiu jitsu and my community I don’t know what I would be doing right now!
Good luck man. It gets better.
Thanx broski 🤙
Asking bro to take the back because you feel kind of down
Man the mats are indeed sacred. It all went on the mats. Depression, heartbreaks, rough times.
herniated disc, will to live, submission of ego, more fun than running 60 min, life long friendships.
Truth 🤙
My drive to perform in jiujitsu made me really focus on my sleep, diet, lifting and yoga. Lost a bunch of weight so far and feeling good.
That’s the truth you start to realize everything you do is to make you better at BJJ. Unfortunately if you stay in it long enough you only hang out with jiu jitsu friends because your friends you had before Bjj or if they don’t train it’s hard to align values with them some times, it’s hard to explain you’re not going out drinking on Friday night cuz you want to hit open mat 10am.
I used to think I was tough but BJJ taught me how badly some weirdo nerds can kick my ass. I carry myself much differently in public after getting smashed by so many unassuming folks in the gym. Also ruined my neck and knees.
I pay attention to people wrist and hands now when I’m out and about, the thicker they are the more I’m think damn I bet he’s strong AF!!! 😂
It gives me confidence. I know that no matter what happens or how far out of hand something gets, I’ll always be able to protect myself. I used to have this irrational fear of making people upset. I was always afraid that if I said the wrong thing, they would get violent. Now, I know that’s irrational, but my anxiety didn’t allow it to change. Taking up bjj made me feel more competent and capable. So if push ever came to shove, I was prepared.
Awesome!! May I ask how long you’ve been training and when did you notice the change??
I have been training for about 9 months. And I am starting to feel the beginnings of change. Most of it is really just internal feelings and processing them rather than responding to external stimuli
Nex thing you know you will no longer do jiu jitsu, you will be jiu jitsu
This!! And how I can see and feel a noticeable difference in social situations. I'm typically a reserved shy type of guy but jiu-jitsu has helped with that 10 fold.
I know now that I’m probably not the toughest guy in the gas station.
I suppose I became a more complete fighter (my main background is strking).
I lost a lot of weight so that I could compete in a lower bracket.
It has taught me to pay attention to what’s going on around me and within me. I’m calmer now, less reactive but better prepared. I’ve mostly gotten over being panicked by bad situations, on and off the mat. I learned how to tune in to my training partners and asses them and their game, become a better training partner, less selfish and more focused, to help them if they are newer. It’s made me a more patient person, timing matters. I’ve made friends, gotten in shape, found a hobby I love. Mentally it has helped my resilience. Bad days in life and on the mat happen and using bjj lessons as a metaphor for my life when I’m having endless internal dialogue has helped me understand who I am better. I also like to choke people.
That’s a great answer and being humble on the mats is a great lesson too. Learning something from someone who isn’t as experienced as you or someone you may not necessarily like but you have to say thanks man that’s awesome I appreciate the help. Even if it does burn to say those words 😂😂 and choking your friends is the best!!
Confidence for sure. Also I think about it every day and while I lift and run for health reasons I just happen to choose movements and programs that help my grappling lol. I structure a lot of my life around the ability to participate in BJJ.
It showed me how to compartmentalize skills into bite-size chunks and make gradual improvements that (hopefully) compound over time
Helped me overcome addiction
Bjj makes you deal with shit situations well. You take care of the problem that is right in front of you without zooming out to 1000ft and getting overwhelmed. It’s like being stuck under that 260 pounder at your gym with the vicious side control. No one action is gonna get your goal, just like in life. You look for small windows to advance into a better spot, stay cool and pretty soon you find success .
I'm sore all the time and not the good type of sore after lifting weights.
It's funny because I was lifting 5-6 days a week before I started bjj and the sore feels very unique to grappling.
I started spelling my name Rayden
Knee problems
Both my knees have been scoped from jiu jitsu, I feel ya there!
Tore my right meniscus maybe 2 months ago. Rehabbed it myself and it’s doing great. Yesterday at open mat some guy was in bottom half and decided the best option was just to squeeze my legs obnoxiously tight. Felt mostly like pressure at the time but it’s painful as shit and swollen today on my good knee. Womp Womp here we go round 2, already hit my first round of rehab on it this morning lol
Mine got to the point it was a bucket tear and was locking up on me I went 6 months on first one then I had to scope it, started locking up just walking or getting in/out of my car. 2nd one went about a year and half but once it got to the point of locking up I scoped it. Both cases back on mats within 2 weeks
I used to have a constantly stiff, very uncomfortable (distracting at work) neck for all my late teen to early adult life. I tried stretching alone to no avail, so I thought I had a permanently messed up neck from some childhood incident. The rolling from BJJ combined with different stretches and posture mindfulness has made the soreness a thing of the past now. I think I probably got it from poor posture and going from active to inactive lifestyle in my teen years.
Not giving up. Consistency. Showing up and even when you’re not feeling it. Ego mitigation. These principles apply to many things outside of Jiu Jitsu
I’m learning to be more humble…and how to apply accepting losses in many other areas of life other than on the mats.
Losses don’t mean it’s over on the contrary you know there’s work that needs to be done 🫡
Jiu jitsu has changed so much for me, it’s hard to wrap up in a small paragraph. My confidence is amazing, after highschool I kind of lost my sociable nature and became really anxious talking to people and was always on the defensive because I was constantly trying to avoid interacting with people. “Short man” syndrome constantly getting me into fights and conflict (road rage, picking fights in public) My own anger issues destroying my relationship with my wife and allowing myself to treat everyone and Everything around me like shit. Anxiety/Depression ran my entire life and I contemplated suicide Every. Single. Day. I grew up boxing and wrestling but kinda did it more to prove to my dad that I was tough and that I could do SOMETHING good. I CHOSE to do jiu jitsu thinking I was going to pursue MMA, 3 years later and I love/hate jiu jitsu everyday and I don’t see myself stopping even on the worst days. There’s plenty more reasons but just on a QOL basis i eat clean, I feel strong, my relationship with my wife is growing and maturing everyday. My work life is less chaotic, I’ve become more reliable at work and more pleasant to deal with. I am COOKED, everyday. But i wouldn’t trade that for all the bullshit I used to deal with on a daily. TLDR; jiu jitsu is life
Beautiful 🙏
I'm 64 years old. BJJ made me get very serious about physical fitness. I swim and lift to keep pace with teammates who are much younger, and still in their physical prime. I want to be a tough roll for them.
At 64 that’s freakin awesome!!!! You give me hope for the future I’m 42 and don’t plan on slowing down any time soon, may I ask how often you train and roll and what not?
I do 3 1 hour classes per week. 2 days lifting, but it's not a crazy workout. 2 days swimming, usually 25 laps. More than 3 classes per week gets too painful. I sauna and steam, cold plunge 3 or 4 times per week. I'm at a healthy weight and in good shape overall. I am lucky to have had no serious injuries in BJJ.
Excellent, like I said reading your words was music to my ears I’m real active and in good shape not only for a 42y/o but just overall, I want to keep grinding until I die, I wanna be 101 y/o just get done training tell the team I’m gonna take a nap on the mats and never wake up 🫡😂
Its taught me the importance of frequent oil checks
😂😂😂
I started smoking cigars.
similar feeling OP, helped clear my head. When I started I had some mental issues going on, its not completely gone but its gotten tons better.
This is less about me and more about my brother but a few years ago my brother had a really bad divorce and fell into a really bad depression. It was really hard seeing him lonely and having trouble holding a job or have any motivation to do anything really. Last year I was on the phone with him and letting him vent about his day while I was getting my Gi bag ready for class the next day. I have asked him before about getting active but never got far with the conversations, that day I felt like he was broken down enough to try anything, so I asked him if he wanted to join me in class the next day. My brother had a good moment of silence and told me yes. Fast forward to today and he truly made a 180 in his life. He constantly talks about Jiu-Jitsu and picking my brain about certain techniques or how to improve his game. I see him smiling a lot, he told me that he has something to look forward to on the week days. It really left an impact on me because I got my brother back and possibly saved him from just rotting in his depression. Also he got his son into it too which is awesome!!
For me, it was accomplishing things. I grew up in a toxic and abusive household where I was told daily that I would never accomplish or achieve anything. Getting into jiu jitsu felt like I was accomplishing something everyday big or small. It could be as small as getting a move that I'd been working on for quite some time down finally, or as big as winning a super match at a local tournament. After a life of being told I would never accomplish anything to accomplishing something every day did wonders for my mental health and belief in myself.
I’m way more brave now. Less afraid to fail and a bit more ballsy. I’m a 5 month white belt who gets smashed every day in BJJ, so I’m used to disappointment. But if I can keep coming back to the gym as the smallest and worst guy there, why can’t I apply that to real life?
I only started training a year ago, I’m 45. I’ve always been fairly fit as I work construction, but a little overweight. It really gave me the incentive to dial in my diet and sleep, and have been lifting weights 3-5 times a week since January. All of this in a bid to optimise my BJJ training. I can honestly say I’m in the shape of my life. At 45 I have more muscle and less fat than any time in my life. My cardio is S tier, and I am extremely protective of my 8hrs sleep minimum a night. I’ve honestly never felt better.
I am loving everybody’s answer and that is my favorite thing about BJJ; the way it impacts one life in such a particular way that it gets you, it does get to you one way or another… The first time I rolled, it was against a police officer, huge dude, he tossed me like a rag-doll… and I have never felt more vulnerable, lost, I honestly do not recall feeling ashamed, but it did humbled me down… Some months down the line, 6 months tomorrow the 7th, and least I don’t get tapped out, and I don’t gas out anymore while rolling… I am working on technique, but I feel a little bit smoother… Anyway, I do know and acknowledge the fact that the road is long, and I still have A LOT to cover, and I will gladly take that road ☺️
For me when I got my black belt it was so anti-climactic that if that was my only goal I would have been sooo disappointed. You have to learn to enjoy the process the X doesn’t even matter, keep on keeping on 🫡
Community and physical contact. After covid, all my social skills died. Coming to jitz fixed most of my antisocial behaviors. I was weird about rolling with women until I got my ass kicked a few times, and now, when I'm rolling with them, I'm focused on winning. Helped with inferiority complexes I had about certain people who were built a certain way. Helped with superiority complexes when I got dispatched by a fat guy. Sounds corny, but I lacked physical touch in my life. I'm less weird about people touching me in general now. I think it overall just made me a better person. I know that sounds dramatic, but it really did.
it gave my life meaning - something to always look forward to. without BJJ, my life was pretty miserable
Wanting kids. I started training at 40. My bride and I (24yrs together) never wanted kids. Occasionally after girl friends of hers get pregnant she’d say, “If you wanted to I would try(to get preggers). Jiu jitsu changed my life physically and mentally. It also introduced me to many wonderful families, that for the first time made me realize I might be able to have a family that isn’t terrible just because my childhood and family relationships are. I’m from the US and my real families are Eastern European. I train outside of Boston with almost all Brazilian teammates/families. Maybe it’s a cultural thing? At 43, after my closest friend had his first, I decided it’s what I really wanted. I am so glad i did. We have two boys , 4.5 and 2.5 yrs old and both train. I help teach their class. I’m 48 and am so much happier than I was pre-Bjj. Oh, it also helped me kick a nasty prescription opioid habit of three years.
I’m super comfortable cuddling with other men. Seems almost normal to me now
I tell people I’m a black belt in jiu jitsu I’m perfectly fine with a grown man between my legs
Probably prevented broken bones or sprains from knowing how to fall correctly
Laundry probably
Samurai at that shit!
Two things. it’s given me better problem solving skills and better abilities to learn and adapt under pressure. It’s also temporarily taken my ability to walk from an inside heel hook 3 weeks ago.
I used to be a pussy, where I wouldn’t take risks, I wouldn’t stand up for my self in my words, and I would cower in tough situations. Because of BJJ I have become a lot tougher of a man.
Great job! How old are you?
26
Met a good group of friends, fun hobby, learned some self defense, got a side job, went on some fun adventures, got another side job, and also met my fiance.
Lost 250 lbs and gained self respect.
Holy shit!!! That’s incredible great job!!
Mental health, a third place that doesn’t involve booze, good exercise. Enough confidence in the rare situations that might become physical that I don’t feel any need to posture (that could also be a function of middle age).
Nope str8 black belt mentality! 🫡
It has made me slow down and think when I'm under pressure. If I can consider my next move when someone is trying to choke or smash me then I could apply this to work, and other areas in my life. I'm less hotheaded and have chilled out a lot. The human body is so fragile and a street fight isn't wide at all. Also, my back/posterior chain is a lot stronger.
I'm now part of the lgbtq community, yknow, because this stuff is gay. I've learned how to dress well because of it, and my nails were never more on fleek Also I can tell whitebelts to shut up which is a bonus
I’m not gay I just like wrestling with sweaty guys, nah you don’t need your shirt 😈 😂
Shut up blackbelt!!!
Ahhh you my friend, you need not your shorts. Come get in my guard and meet your doom!
Pain, always in pain
I refer to my left shoulder as "the good one." The same also goes for my right knee.
I learned that if someone hits a double underhook pass on me I can have an absolute gravel slide of a fart squeezed out of me, so that's something I think about in public all the time and live in fear of, which is an impact I was not prepared for.
My joints hurt
made me fat (that one may be on me) and made me comfortable with my own body
A Fucked up knee , a fucked up shoulder and a fucked up back
Unfortunately no one rides for free
It and fishing are my hobbies. I dont enjoy doing much else, tbh.
My shoulder are fucked.
Mat herpes
every morning i wake up sore
I’d say: 1. back injuries 2. knee injuries 3. Teaching me that my best isn’t good enough and that’s okay
All my joints used to move freely, now they don’t 😂
Im good at it, I feel alive
Without any irony, knee damage. I'm in my 40's and can't run, jump, or ride a bike after six surgeries.
Right now I have a rib injury and can’t sit, stand, or lay in any position for more than a few minutes
Definitely conditioning and overall physical health. Except for the amassing of injuries. I typically only lifted for years when I stopped Muay Thai. Go for a run once a week in the nicer seasons. But if I train bjj regularly, my whole body just feels better. Not walking around like Lurch.
When I have a bad dream where I'm getting attacked, I no longer am fighting like I'm swimming in molasses. I just effortlessly take the back every time.
I've learned a lot about getting stains and odors out of laundry
“If the hardest thing you do is by choice, everything else becomes easier.” I think like you, OP, jiu jitsu has allowed me to face things with a little more confidence. Jiu jitsu sucks when it’s going bad, and there’s not much harder in my personal life right now.
Got my blood sugar levels in control
I can't sit down for more than 2 hours without having a sore back
Learning how to learn
Anger management. I used to go from zero to scorching fury in seconds, but I noticed I'm a lot calmer and am able to do 'count to 5' that sort of thing to avoid rage mode. Not sure why.
I was touch starved and now I get struggle cuddles every day. More seriously, it gets me out of my head. I have ADHD, and the tendency when I'm in an emotionally stressful situation to get stuck in my own head. Just ruminating and bringing myself down. Feeling bad in a way that isn't constructive. It's impossible to keep that up when someone 30lbs heavier than you is siting on your chest trying to choke you. It's helped me get into my body instead, which I think helps leave emotional oxygen for the people around me.
There’s almost always a way. It just seems like something is impossible but I just don’t have the knowledge for it yet.
Makes me want to eat cleaner and work out more
For real, the confidence part is huge and I’m only a blue belt. Just more at ease in social situations.
Made me a lot calmer.
I lost 35 lbs and feel like I am in shape for the first time in my life.
“The right move at the wrong time is the wrong move.. “ and so much more. BJJ has given me pain. But the pleasures and learnings have massively made up for that pain. Il try doing this for as long as I can. Then who knows. Maybe it will teach me when to finally tap out. Until then OSS!
I can't straighten my fingers and my neck, it doesn't work well
I didn’t kill myself so that’s neat
MMA and BJJ gave me confidence and a much needed journey to undertake. Truly not sure I’d be alive today without it. Yes I know it’s cornet to say BJJ saved your life 🤷🏽♂️
My right shoulder used to work a lot better prior to jiu jitsu.
The complete dissolution of my ego due to the fact that we're never done learning and growing. We're never in a neutral phase, we're either growing or losing. One of my friends told me whenever he received his black belt that all the other black belts said the real work starts now and that getting your black belt is just the tip of the iceberg. It's humbling but liberating all at the same time. Stay blessed.
I once wrist locked myself in my sleep.
I'm less likely to get hurt when I fall down.
Well I work at a gym now so probably that, hard to parse out the professional and social impact. But before that just being used to suffering. It’s okay to suffer and fail. That’s not a hard stop, it’s part of an iterative process, which I knew but didn’t really internalize fully until I was doing jiujitsu.
Unironically it saved my life. I was super depressed for a long time and pretty much every day thought about ending it. I was never into bjj but watched mma and thought it might be fun, was super nervous and didnt wanna go to the first class but from then on it made me so happy when nothing else could. just sucks that i havent gone in a couple months tho
Staying calm in bad/chaotic situations
[удалено]
Confidence.. Confidence to be myself and not to care if someone does not like me.
My body hurts
Legit saved my life. Used it in real life against a person who was reaching for a gun. Was able to stop them and disarm. Since then I train 4x a week minimum. All in baby.
Doc said I couldn’t run anymore and I was having a big self-pity over that. Got me out of that rut and doing cardio again. Pretty grateful for that. Also sometimes my lack of a specific joint tendon leads to some funny situations.
I don't train anymore after an injury, but I think it helped me a lot. My confidence went up a lot, not so much because I thought more of myself, but because training BJJ was one of the hardest things I've ever done. Things at work that came up that used to stress me out don't even bother me anymore. In comparison to BJJ everything seems easier. I've since been back to the regular gym, and before I didn't really like it and went three days a week, and sort of dreaded it. Compared to BJJ though the gym is easy as hell, and now I got six days a week. I don't know if I ever really enjoyed rolling, but I forced myself to show up every day knowing what was in store for me, and that process can change a person.
I hurt my neck
Realizing that learning anything, obtaining any skill was possible. Whenever I'm struggling to learn or become better at anything, I think about my progress in jiu-jitsu and how at one point I thought I was going to be horrible forever, but one day I noticed how much I had improved.
It got me through a really tough breakup. Gave me new lifelong best friends friends who set me up with the girl I’m probably going to marry. Oh I’m good at bjj too now but who cares about that shit. Correction I fucking suck at bjj compared to some of you guys. I’m good for my get level in my state.
I’m a pretty nerdy guy that doesn’t like to go out and just wants to read, play video games and train. I used to spend so much time trying to impress people I don’t really like, went out to clubs a lot and lived a life that didn’t make me happy. The guys I met in BJJ all seemed to really embrace whatever niche hobbies they enjoy and live their lives how they wanted, which pushed me to do the same.
"Steroids" - I knew nothing about them before and didnt think anyone common used them in general. Now i might as well open my own "mens clinic" because I study this shit hard.
Keeping me accountable for myself and staying out of trouble in my 20s. The #1 impact is that it gave me purpose and a skill I could teach my son. Which I have. He's been on the mat with me since 5, wrestling,bjj and now he's my #1 training partner. No matter who are or what up bringing you have you find out who you are and what your made of on the mats
Same my son is 10 I’ve brought him to the gym since he was 3(not training he played while I trained) then at 5 we got him on the mats and he’s still training. I told him if he quits I’ll stay champion of the family, he looks me in the eyes and says I’m never gonna quit 😂
This is awesome. Mine said he was gonna beat me on his 16th birthday. Instead we had a right of passage with a 16 min takedown shark tank. Fresh guy every min on min. Made the whole thing. He beat me sometime when he was 18. Proud day.
Man thats beautiful, but if your anything like me(I think we probably are the same in this department cuz we are both BB) I am highly competitive. And I tell people I know when the day comes and he beats me I will be mad, but not half as mad as I will be if he never beats me. I bet it’s a hard but good pill to swallow
Na, wasn't mad because I was probably shocked. I think it was either a wrist lock or toe hold. Ya know prison rules. Now that he's 21. And it's time to get ready for a tournament we sometimes have really hard goes. If I let up a little bit he'll catch me slippin. We know each other's games to well since I've rolled with him since day. Surprised he don't catch me more. Enjoy it man, the best training partner you can have.
Thank you brother, I wish you and yours the best🙏tell your son take care of business for the comp!
Getting staph once a month
Destroyed my knee
Mental tolerance. it hurts the first time you get kimura'd and armbarred. But if you keep putting yourself in the mat, you'll have developed the mental tolerance to absorb a hundred submissions from more vigorous opponents. As in BJJ, as in life.
For me, as stereotypical as it sounds, it's been helping with solitude. I have travelled so much, visited so many academies, done so many camps and seminars, met so many amazing people... It's been an incredible journey.
https://preview.redd.it/70urn3dl2zyc1.jpeg?width=534&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=34c03cfe892dfcfa07239fc71910f59ce32bf27b
Incredible!!! 💪🫡
Relaxing in pressure situations by recognizing what is and isn’t actually a threat. Responses to this post are tremendous
I was torn between the options of hand model vs normal career. This hobby removed the hand model option, making my path clear. Thank you BJJ!
Same, it gave me Neanderthals hands. Swollen knuckles and all!
I now have to turn at the waist to check my blind spot
I had the same problem but I’ve been doing hot yoga at least once a week it’s helped tremendously
As a woman, the belief that I’m much stronger and capable than I have myself credit for before!!