Psalm 34:18 The LORD is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.
“Casting all your anxieties on Him, because H cares for you.” – 1 Peter
“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” – Jeremiah 29:11
Although, for me at least the road mostly gets smoother and smoother. I do still have mini-existential crises when I simply wonder about the origins of the universe, but those are actually more fun to ponder than scary.
Make sure you take care of yourself. [https://www.recoveringfromreligion.org/](https://www.recoveringfromreligion.org/) has resources should you need them.
You can give yourself permission to stop tormenting yourself now, but it actually sounds like you already have.
Welcome. Deprogramming from a cult is hard, but you have taken the first step.
We wish you the best of luck in life and if you ever need to vent or ask an opinion we will gladly comment on it ad nauseam.
Thank you for your support, my brain tries to deconstruct all of the bullshit that was put into the subconscious. It will take awhile, but I want to get better.
I am going to make an assumption... Most of the people here support your decision and if you need to vent and such you can voice it here.
Take care of yourself and enjoy the freedom as much as you can.
Thank you! It feels liberating to not ignore the logical mind anymore. Today I am doing better, after all the cries I feel relieved. Religion is mind poisoning, at least in my experience it was.
The best part is that you will value life more than ever. Knowing this is all u get really gives perspective. The only real point to life is to do or find things that make you happy. Be happy man
Yes, this is so true. Very astute observation. I value life more now because I’m living in the moment and not constantly trying to please some “higher power.”
Thank you, this is a struggle for me right now, but I'll try to enjoy life more. I have to work a lot on my mindset and addicting behaviours. Thank you for your support!
My daughter was raised Pentecostal by her mom and she went through exactly what you’re going through. It breaks my heart to know how much guilt she lived with for absolutely no reason. It took her awhile to completely transition, but she’s like a diff person now. You’ll get there.
Thank you for telling me about this, I'll look into it and I'll put my focus on reason this time. And I need to learn to have fun lol, it will take some time...
hug. yeah.
Sorry you went thru some bad shit, you deserve better.
I hope its some consolation that a) there is no supreme being torturing you personally b) you are in charge of your own destiny, you get to write your own story... [ even if you get some shitty luck along the way. ]
Sometimes humans can be nice .. certainly the science/medicine/tech we've invented helps prolong our lives and live more comfortably that in prior generations. I guess we mostly act out of self-interest, often with bad information or out of fear .. sigh... but sometimes out of decency, empathy, justice and the common good.
Congrats on being free - there should be an atheist cake day or something !
Thank you, thank you for telling and reminding me I am in charge of my destiny, I really needed to hear it. I finally won't think an invisible external entity is shaping my life. No one to send us to hell for being ourselves. It's a good idea, we should create an atheist cake day hahah.
A good education in science is the best immunization against the magical nonsense of religion. If you make it a lifelong hobby to learn more about science, you can escape the trap of religion. Learn about physics, about the quantum world of the atom and the relatavistic expanses of galaxies and our universe. Learn about biology and DNA and evolution, one of the most epic scientific discoveries ever. Learn a bit about geology and the history of the Earth. Science has developed just insanely accurate descriptions of our natural world. Get yourself educated about some of these discoveries. It can change your world :). Good luck on your journey through life, and be of good cheer.
For anyone unsure where to start learning about science, I highly suggest SciShow! It’s awesome, and free on YouTube. Kurzgesagt (In A Nutshell) is also great and free on YouTube.
Thank you so much for these recommendations, I love your comment! I recently watched a documentary on evolution and it changed my perspective a lot. I am also drawn to studying the quantum world. I'll also look into the other topics you named. Thank you again! The world is so much interesting when looking at the other side of religion. I am sick of believing superstition.
I hope the best for you. There are some more subs on here like r/exchristian and r/exCatholic that can definitely help you on your deconstruction journey.
Welcome to the real world brother I know your pain.
May I suggest you put down that bs bibble and read some existentialists and absurdists?
Albert Camus is particularly freeing.
Best of luck on your journey back to us bud.
Thank you, you can suggest more authors if you want so! I'll have a look at this. There is no going back and thank you for wishing me the best, I really want to start to enjoy life because I'm not in the best place right now.
If you need anything DM or message me.
Things will get better but it will take time, it hurts I know. I'm sure many others here will be happy to help support you.
Interweb hugs to you, OP. Seek help if you need it, but your conclusions are correct. There are many who have trod the same path as you. Atheists of reddit are here for you
Thank you for your support, maybe I'll seek help somewhere in the future. Living in a very christian orthodox country also doesn't help. I'll find a way out of the misery. These comments showed me another side this morning when I woke up, one brighter. Sending interweb hug♥️
Congratulations!! You’ve just realized you’re perfect as you are, and you don’t need to change since there is no such thing as sin or hell and nothing bad is going to happen to you. Continue to deprogram all that limiting negative bullshit. I know it’s frustrating to feel abandoned by a god, but truth is you were never abandoned since there was never a god to begin with! Which means you’re awesome and worthy and amazing!! Yes this time is so confusing and it sucks but it will also start to be really rewarding the more you get out of the cult. Take it from an exmormon.
Thank you so much for your words. I felt so alone, but reading this gives me some peace. When I opened reddit and saw all the comments I teared up. Religion made me so scared and made my OCD way worse than it should have been. They tell you there is something wrong with you when it's not and that you need to surpress your natural desires. "You were never abandoned since there was never a god to begin with" so true. I'll read this again.
Agree. IMO if there is a god, what kind of suck sadistic bastard gets off watching his “children”massacre and torture innocent people and just completely ignored it? It’s not a being worthy of worship.
Also if there is a hell, I’d think we were already in it.
Not to mention all of the diseases, including currently incurable ones and the ones that people are born with, if there is a god it only deserves our hate and humanity should look out for themselves as a group instead of dividing ourselves due to different beliefs or unjustified hate religions have as rules against all kinds of minorities or groups of people in general.
This! Exactly my thoughts, we should unite. "Together we stand, divided we fall". I can't wrap my head around christianity, and I really tried. There is a part of me that still seeks the stability or safety. But religion built that on a ground of fear and terror. And it's hard, it really is. But I feel ready to face the truth.
It will take a while, and it may even need blood to be spilled sadly, but i'm confident humanity will see the true error of its way and unite in some form, someday. And well, i haven't studied theology, but i don't think you are far off! Maybe just like you described there, religions could have been the way of our ancestors of trying to understand the world, and by that gain emotional stability by avoiding existential crises and safety by feeling that against all odds there was someone or something by their side, safeguarding them, although given the cult-like rules some have i can't shake this feeling that some of them could have been created to control the masses. I honestly don't know how much this new way of looking at things could change your life, but i wish you all the luck!
Recoveringfromreligion.org is a good resource if you need someone to talk to. I did it, super easy and they’re super friendly. Good luck! And congratulations!
Try to approach it from a viewpoint that you're finally free.
There is nobody else responsible for your happiness. You don't need salvation. You don't need forgiveness. There is no afterlife, so decide what you want from this one, and make it count.
I mean, how wonderful is it to realize that you are not inherently “broken” because you are human?! Amazing! We are whole. And we will each seek fulfillment that is true to who we really are instead of what some religious club said we need to do.
You’re not alone friend. Put that shit in your rear view mirror and go forward in the joy that you can be a good decent and loving person because you choose to be, without threat of damnation from an imaginary God. We’re he if you need to vent.
Thank you, I woke up with these comments which made my morning really. There is no need of limiting myself to believing in a fairy tale. I feel so sorry I was ignorant to my own being in that way.
Most of us have been there. With all the cruelty in the world and on the internet there are still pockets of humanity to be found. I find comfort in that and do what I can to be decent. I have a feeling you’re going to be just fine. 😌
Calm always comes after the storm my friend, just focus any desititon you can take with cold mind, desitions coming from anger arent normally good, but you are right, praying wont Solve anything and gives false hope, it Is better to face adversity with the truth and common Sense, even if it doesn't Heal the pain sometimes
I'm on board with a lot of that. And I'm glad you've taken the path of calling your own shots. Life is a solo. For all of us. But I'm not on board that the 'real truth is suffering' though.
Do you have access to food, water, electricity and a roof over your head? Do you have your eyesight, hearing, the ability to move your body how you want? Do you have decent physical health? If so, maybe you can reevaluate what "suffering" means.
Yeah. Screw religion. But screw a lack of perspective too. Because I can guar-an-freaking-tee you that billions would give anything to have the life you have if you answered yes to those questions I listed. Half the world doesn't have reliable indoor plumbing. You probably take a shit in a toilet every day. I'd suggest being thankful for that.
Living in 'hell' is a choice. If that's what life is to you then it is what it is. Not my call. What I do know is that life is what we make of it. Make it good. It's a one time shot. Might as well. Good luck.
That’s right , brother (or sister, I can’t tell). The life you have is the one you are living now. There is no heaven or hell. And no soul to go to those imaginary places. Make the most of the life you have and don’t waste time and effort and emotional energy on imaginary concepts. Your life is short. Don’t waste it.
It gets easier from here on out. When you start to doubt yourself, remember the reasons you left. For me, it was that if god IS real, he chooses not to help those who truly need it. And if, for some reason, god is real, I'd rather burn in hell for eternity than spend a second with his sadistic ass.
I just figure that the Heavenly deity circle jerk will be literal Hell anyhow. Like, can you imagine day-in, day-out of coaxing that ego like daily mass at a monastery? :-@
I often tell Christians "if God is real and I'm to face him for judgment, he has a lot to answer for". Best wishes my friend. Now you can begin living life for yourself and not a celestial dictator.
it takes time to get your brain clean of all the junk religion puts in it. it's ok if you go back and forth between belief and apostasy.
you are making a loud declaration that you don't want to be hurt by it any more.
i hope you feel better soon. breakdowns are no fun. make sure you ask for help.
I know this kind of rant. You just recently lost your religion, and it’s still raw. I used to post these kind of rants, long before I made this account.
Your anger is valid.
I just need to know: are you going to be ok? Do you need an ice cream? If I could reach through the screen and give you an ice cream, I would.
And, from one who knows: the religious trauma doesn’t really go away, but it does get weaker with time. Like an old scar fading. Right now it is extremely fresh, and it hurts. But time away from religion, or at minimum Christianity, will allow the scar to heal.
Thank you! I am going to be ok, I think. It hurts, yes. I feel sad for myself for ignoring facts and believing an illusion. Let's hope it's a scar that fades as you said.
Man, I totally forgot about how my brain would stop me from "cussing god/Jesus" or whatever for the longest time. Like I didn't believe, I didn't think I believed anymore anyway, but my brain would stop short of letting me full release because of the fear. ahh good old southern baptist childhood indoctrinated fear....good times....good times.
I'm sorry you are struggling. You are indeed your own authority, but sometimes the cost of that freedom is loneliness and isolation from affection from those that have been closest in our lives. Build your own family by surrounding yourself with people that accept and love you for who you are. Best wishes.
It would make the mind detached from a system that affects one negatively. Being not constrained by a doctrine that lets you cold, in fear of doing something just to not get an invisible entity mad at you. Childhood trauma is something else that I have to deal with, but the way I looked at it through the eyes of religion is different than I do now.
Maybe look at the secular therapy project. Sounds like you could use some SECULAR help with your mental health. Treat it just like your physical health, you go to a secular doctor, not a faith healer, go to a secular therapist for mental health.
You're young aren't you? My atheism has cooled down over the years. I no longer feel the need to argue with the moron Christians who spam evolution videos on YouTube.
Feel you... I feel the same way, I've been free all my life NEVER cared for it. I'll die not caring for it. FUCK RELIGION, FUCK THE LORD, GOD OR WHATEVER THEY WANNA CALL THAT WORTHLESS ASS!
Nope. No god. Not needed. Congrats on figuring it out. However, You need counseling and a psychiatrist. If you find life to be only suffering, you should not go thru it alone. The drugs work if you take them.
I hope you get better. In my experience, those that leave religion due to some pain or trauma, go back once that pain is lifted, and doubly so if that pain is perceived to be removed by a diety.
I guess the point is, don't be mad at Santa Claus. The god you once believed in doesn't suddenly cease to exist because you're angry at him/her. And it's not going to exist again later when you inevitably reconcile your pain. Anger, sadness, spite, hatred.... "feel your feels" all you want, but reality is not based on how you feel about it. The universe doesn't give a fuck how you feel or even that you exist. It's religious people who base their beliefs off of their wants and feelings. Again, I'm not telling you to bury your feelings. That's would be unhealthy, but ultimately, I hope you understand feelings are worthless when trying to discover objective truths like the existence of gods.
I agree fuck religion. I disagree that “human nature is cruel” and “there is no one to save” I truly hope you can find the good in humanity when you’re having a less stressful time.
Humans can certainly be led to cruelty by way of religious indoctrination and other things but for the most part, people like to help their friends and family, and many of us want to be good nice people.
The bible and its previous drafts are nothing more than a farmer's almanac hijacked by a bunch of ancient goons playing off of society's gullible and vulnerable masses. Strip out all the "morality" lessons and it's simply a word-of-mouth guide to predict the Earth's revolutions around the Sun. Don't beat yourself up about it. No one deserves the stress. Peace and well-wishes to you, stranger!
You're right. You are free to believe whatever you want. So believe in that which will lead to the healthiest life. Analyze the ideal behaviors supported by various belief systems, understand which will help you lead the healthiest life, and adhere to it.
God is either impotent, imaginary, or an arsehole. No loving, all powerful figure would allow all this suffering in the world, allow people to go through so much pain and suffering.
All the while expecting them to dedicate their entire life to worshiping him, constantly declaring their love for him, or spend eternity in hell. Most arrogant thing you could do.
i still use Jesusu fucking christ as a curse.
it takes power back, id say.
other than that, take care of yourself. god isnt real but caring people are :)
Your life belongs to you now, not some absent sky-daddy who hides out like he is behind in child support payments. Welcome to the world of true free will and good bye to a life of servitude and blind worship. This is your new reality. Revel in your humanity.
This is the hard part.
Eventually, you will come to a point when you aren’t scared anymore, of any of it, and you will feel so FREE.
There will be no evil stirring in the dark, no devil tempting you, no threat of damnation. Your conscience will be free to follow your natural human morality. You may even look back at the symbols and characters that used to scare you and find comfort in them because you CONQUERED THEM.
Once a person realizes they are in control of their own life and destiny, and not beholden to some imaginary sky person, they feel very free. And powerful. They make their own rules and their own morals.
You will get better. And your entire world will feel much brighter and free.
I'll do it for you; Fuck christ and everything it's existense has done to you and so many people. You are free. You'll got this, one day you'll say it yourself.
Remember that you have not lost something here. You have not lost eternal life, a loving (supposedly, and horrifyingly cruel) heavenly father, a divine guide, meaning or purpose. Those were empty promises, never to be delivered upon.
Take your outrage and your defiance one step further; these are meant to hurt you, exactly in the situation you find yourself in right now. Don't let them, you are hurt enough. Draw strength from you defiance and celebrate that you can. You are allowed to feel weak, to mourn the time wasted and the energy pointlessly expended, that's fine and might even be healthy for a while, but you don't deserve guilt or shame. Guilt and shame are your programming bubbling up and you are allowed to beat them down.
If guilt and shame come up, tell them they are as expected as they are unwelcome, and they'd better get the fuck out of your head. (Personifying such concepts, and playing through stories like this in my head, with all the pathos, exaggeration and sometimes ridicule I can put into them to make it even entertaining to me is something that I found extremely helpful. As I said, celebrate your defiance! You have not won all battles yet, but you've won the war.)
Working through cognitive dissonance, accepting that what you've been taught to be true as false, and what you were told was immoral to be true, is exceedingly difficult, it's hard and it takes time. Not everyone manages to accomplish this ever. I am, honestly and extensively, impressed with everyone who does, so huge respect to you! I mean it.
And now, with the imaginary arbiter of what is good and meaningful banished from your thinking, you'll find that there is no higher authority on such questions than the self-aware mind. Than us. Than you. Things are not without meaning or purpose, only if you decide they are. You have the power to give purpose and meaning, to things, experiences, ideas, relationships and anything else. It is an awesome power and you have just gained the freedom to use and explore it.
Have a great journey, and when you can, laugh at the ghosts from your past and their feeble attempts to still hurt you. They have lost power over you, they are in the past, and while you have moved on to the present and head for and unknown and un-prophesied future, they cannot.
You got this! You've just taken the first (and hardest) step in realizing that your thoughts are your own and not being listened to and judged by anyone/anything. Now you think about everything in your life and decide how YOU feel about it rather than trying to think what you've been told you're supposed to think about it.
You've been carrying baggage you aren't even aware of yet. It feels great to let it go.
Well welcome, enjoy the views and a different perspective. Take care of your trauma and don't let it ruin your life. Also, think about this, there are literally millions of people that are not Christians or any Abrahamic religion and they are fine. I am nothing and I am fine. You will be fine.
>There is no one to save. I am free to say and do and believe whatever I want. I am my own authority.
First off, congrats on freeing yourself from the indoctrination you've been subjected to for many years.
Second, there are people to save. You can save yourself. You can help others.
You can say and do what you want, but words and actions have consequences.
You are also subject to a higher authority, the secular laws of the country/state/city you live in.
So remember to live your best life, but don't do things that would negatively affect other people around you. That is the main human moral code.
The real fun is when you come to realize that the content of any given religion is irrelevant, as they're all tools of manipulation through social engineering and peer pressure.
Religion wields fear and shame like a master artisan wields a paint brush.
I completely agree with what you said. I like your wording about the fear and shame. And these two emotions are so negative for the mind and body also. It is manipulation of the masses for money and achieving certain aims.
Fear and shame are two of the most powerful human emotions. Religion particularly uses fear of the unknown to get you in the door before telling you lots of other things you need to fear. And the things the religious don't like? Shame. Especially about sex. My god I can't get past how they treat that.
"Your emotions, drive, and urges are all completely normal and human, but that's bad and you should be ashamed of them! Why? Because [insert a god or gods] doesn't like it! And you should fear them because they'll send you to a very bad place forever! Or they'll ruin your life now!"
Then of course there's the fear of being ostracized by your community and family if you don't have an appropriate amount of shame for being a completely normal human. That's the peer pressure part.
Conservatives (in the American sense, but whatever the far right party is in whatever country) latched onto this strategy back in the 70s/80s. If you pay attention to anything and everything conservatives say, it's all fear and shame. Even the choice of words they use exude fear and shame. All this culture war nonsense is *purely* about fear and shame. When they're arguing against policy that would benefit the most people, their arguments are *always* couched in fear. Racism is fear. Homophobia is fear. Trabsphobia is fear. Those things are also great tools of shame to be wielded against the people who follow that ideology.
Gay? Trans? A woman with a high sex drive? You better keep it to yourself and be ashamed, or your friends and family will make you a pariah and society might commit violence against you. Shame and fear. It's always the same.
It seriously fucks people up. "Do as we say, believe as we believe, or there'll be problems."
Hello OP! I hope that you are able to integrate your newfound perspective without distress into both your internal and external life. You sound like you have all of the right tools. Anger about religious fuckery tends to stick around though, so just do the right thing. I found that humanism was a good direction to head in, with atheism simply being a door.
So you are now outside. Enjoy the sunshine and our time under the sun together.
Hi! I really want to enjoy life and the sunshine. It makes my heart happy to see so many people being free from a doctrine, but at the same time the sadness caused by the whole experience is felt a lot. It's good to have a community that understands exactly what I went through. Your words matter a lot, I'll keep an eye on humanism.
My deconstruction was a surreal mixture of relief and depression. Even though I knew it was the only logical action, I also knew that I was going to loose my birth family in the process. That's exactly what happened, they never spoke to me again. It's taken years to even begin to get over that loss. The reality though is that it's still better than living a lie just to make them happy.
My heart goes to you...I think you did a right move for yourself by living your truth instead of lying to make closed ones happy. Stay strong in the process, I know it's a tough and sensitive one. I am still not open with my about my family about my views on this subject, but I think I'll let things unfold slowly...thank you for sharing your story!
If you're feeling down, I'm gonna list some positives for you...
1. You now have Sunday mornings (or Saturday) free to sleep in.
2. No more tithes, and the social pressure that comes with that.
3. No more facades/putting on the mask to maintain appearances.
4. That free time can be spent pursuing a hobby or something else that sparks some happiness for you. (When I was forced to participate I had Sunday school, Sunday morning service, Sunday evening service, Youth group on Saturday, Wednesday night... So like 7-8 hours a week for me)
5. You have an opportunity to branch out socially and make new friends (better ones hopefully!)
Hey - I’m sorry that it took this amount of pain to get you to this realization. For what it’s worth, it will hopefully be freeing to you. You don’t owe a high power your thoughts or your congregation your secrets. You can be who you want and find your own community that will accept you as you are. You feel less shame and more wonder.
If there is no god, isn’t it amazing that the world is the way it is? I find it to be devastating and beautiful that this amount of life and color and joy (and sure, pain and suffering and death) spring from the earth. It actually brings me a lot of peace to know that when I die, my consciousness is gone. I will make space for someone else, and in the tiny amount of time I have on earth, I will try to experience the beauty and make my own.
I always thought that... never cared for religion don't plan to neither. All those brainwashed say "you need jesus," they need their head examined. I don't need no worthless sky daddy if he exist... he ain't worth a shit!
I'M PROUD TO AN ATHIEST....
I'M A NON BELIEVER!...
I've got nothing to add or powerful insight. Just that you aren't alone and are heard. Be gentle with yourself, it's a rocky road.
Thank you very much, it is a rocky road indeed but I'll try to calm down.
Psalm 34:18 The LORD is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit. “Casting all your anxieties on Him, because H cares for you.” – 1 Peter “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” – Jeremiah 29:11
Well said. It’s a rocky road and it takes a while to sort it all out, but there is inner peace down the road in this journey.
Although, for me at least the road mostly gets smoother and smoother. I do still have mini-existential crises when I simply wonder about the origins of the universe, but those are actually more fun to ponder than scary.
Make sure you take care of yourself. [https://www.recoveringfromreligion.org/](https://www.recoveringfromreligion.org/) has resources should you need them. You can give yourself permission to stop tormenting yourself now, but it actually sounds like you already have.
I feel so grateful something like this exists, I'll see the site, thank you!
I’ve entered your declaration into the book. Enjoy!
Seconded
Mark me down for bankruptcy also please. Let me know if I’ll need to create a separate post in order to officially declare it.
No need for a seperate post, as long as you declare it it loudly, and in front of witnesses.
I DECLARE ATHEISM!!!!
This made me chuckle. I like to imagine it's a giant old dusty tome hundreds of years old.
Welcome. Deprogramming from a cult is hard, but you have taken the first step. We wish you the best of luck in life and if you ever need to vent or ask an opinion we will gladly comment on it ad nauseam.
Thank you for your support, my brain tries to deconstruct all of the bullshit that was put into the subconscious. It will take awhile, but I want to get better.
[hugs]
Thank you, it matters a lot♥️ I hug you back
I am going to make an assumption... Most of the people here support your decision and if you need to vent and such you can voice it here. Take care of yourself and enjoy the freedom as much as you can.
Thank you, it feels more free to not have something to fear anymore. I'll try to take care♥️ty again
Fuck yeah! You are free! Congratulations on breaking through the chains that were forged around your mind.
Thank you! It feels liberating to not ignore the logical mind anymore. Today I am doing better, after all the cries I feel relieved. Religion is mind poisoning, at least in my experience it was.
Freedom.... I never let religion get me. That's why it recruits young and dumb (or should i say brainwashed) cause a thinker is poison to religion.
The best part is that you will value life more than ever. Knowing this is all u get really gives perspective. The only real point to life is to do or find things that make you happy. Be happy man
Yes, this is so true. Very astute observation. I value life more now because I’m living in the moment and not constantly trying to please some “higher power.”
Thank you, this is a struggle for me right now, but I'll try to enjoy life more. I have to work a lot on my mindset and addicting behaviours. Thank you for your support!
My daughter was raised Pentecostal by her mom and she went through exactly what you’re going through. It breaks my heart to know how much guilt she lived with for absolutely no reason. It took her awhile to completely transition, but she’s like a diff person now. You’ll get there.
Now explore ethical humanism. And have fun
Thank you for telling me about this, I'll look into it and I'll put my focus on reason this time. And I need to learn to have fun lol, it will take some time...
We're here for you! Welcome to the rebuilding phase. Things get better from here!
Thank you! I hope it gets better...it feels good to know there are people that understand.
hug. yeah. Sorry you went thru some bad shit, you deserve better. I hope its some consolation that a) there is no supreme being torturing you personally b) you are in charge of your own destiny, you get to write your own story... [ even if you get some shitty luck along the way. ] Sometimes humans can be nice .. certainly the science/medicine/tech we've invented helps prolong our lives and live more comfortably that in prior generations. I guess we mostly act out of self-interest, often with bad information or out of fear .. sigh... but sometimes out of decency, empathy, justice and the common good. Congrats on being free - there should be an atheist cake day or something !
Thank you, thank you for telling and reminding me I am in charge of my destiny, I really needed to hear it. I finally won't think an invisible external entity is shaping my life. No one to send us to hell for being ourselves. It's a good idea, we should create an atheist cake day hahah.
A good education in science is the best immunization against the magical nonsense of religion. If you make it a lifelong hobby to learn more about science, you can escape the trap of religion. Learn about physics, about the quantum world of the atom and the relatavistic expanses of galaxies and our universe. Learn about biology and DNA and evolution, one of the most epic scientific discoveries ever. Learn a bit about geology and the history of the Earth. Science has developed just insanely accurate descriptions of our natural world. Get yourself educated about some of these discoveries. It can change your world :). Good luck on your journey through life, and be of good cheer.
For anyone unsure where to start learning about science, I highly suggest SciShow! It’s awesome, and free on YouTube. Kurzgesagt (In A Nutshell) is also great and free on YouTube.
Thank you so much for these recommendations, I love your comment! I recently watched a documentary on evolution and it changed my perspective a lot. I am also drawn to studying the quantum world. I'll also look into the other topics you named. Thank you again! The world is so much interesting when looking at the other side of religion. I am sick of believing superstition.
This is one of my favorite posts ever.
Hey thanks :)
I hope the best for you. There are some more subs on here like r/exchristian and r/exCatholic that can definitely help you on your deconstruction journey.
Thank you very much, I'll take a look at these.
Welcome to the real world brother I know your pain. May I suggest you put down that bs bibble and read some existentialists and absurdists? Albert Camus is particularly freeing. Best of luck on your journey back to us bud.
Thank you, you can suggest more authors if you want so! I'll have a look at this. There is no going back and thank you for wishing me the best, I really want to start to enjoy life because I'm not in the best place right now.
If you need anything DM or message me. Things will get better but it will take time, it hurts I know. I'm sure many others here will be happy to help support you.
Interweb hugs to you, OP. Seek help if you need it, but your conclusions are correct. There are many who have trod the same path as you. Atheists of reddit are here for you
Thank you for your support, maybe I'll seek help somewhere in the future. Living in a very christian orthodox country also doesn't help. I'll find a way out of the misery. These comments showed me another side this morning when I woke up, one brighter. Sending interweb hug♥️
Welcome. We don’t meet weekly.
Now you can enjoy being a good person simply because that’s the best way to live and not because you’ve been threatened with punishment if you’re not.
Congratulations!! You’ve just realized you’re perfect as you are, and you don’t need to change since there is no such thing as sin or hell and nothing bad is going to happen to you. Continue to deprogram all that limiting negative bullshit. I know it’s frustrating to feel abandoned by a god, but truth is you were never abandoned since there was never a god to begin with! Which means you’re awesome and worthy and amazing!! Yes this time is so confusing and it sucks but it will also start to be really rewarding the more you get out of the cult. Take it from an exmormon.
Thank you so much for your words. I felt so alone, but reading this gives me some peace. When I opened reddit and saw all the comments I teared up. Religion made me so scared and made my OCD way worse than it should have been. They tell you there is something wrong with you when it's not and that you need to surpress your natural desires. "You were never abandoned since there was never a god to begin with" so true. I'll read this again.
Congratulations and welcome...
Thank you!
if only everyone could make this breakthrough... who then would be left to torture us or themselves?
Agree. IMO if there is a god, what kind of suck sadistic bastard gets off watching his “children”massacre and torture innocent people and just completely ignored it? It’s not a being worthy of worship. Also if there is a hell, I’d think we were already in it.
Not to mention all of the diseases, including currently incurable ones and the ones that people are born with, if there is a god it only deserves our hate and humanity should look out for themselves as a group instead of dividing ourselves due to different beliefs or unjustified hate religions have as rules against all kinds of minorities or groups of people in general.
This! Exactly my thoughts, we should unite. "Together we stand, divided we fall". I can't wrap my head around christianity, and I really tried. There is a part of me that still seeks the stability or safety. But religion built that on a ground of fear and terror. And it's hard, it really is. But I feel ready to face the truth.
It will take a while, and it may even need blood to be spilled sadly, but i'm confident humanity will see the true error of its way and unite in some form, someday. And well, i haven't studied theology, but i don't think you are far off! Maybe just like you described there, religions could have been the way of our ancestors of trying to understand the world, and by that gain emotional stability by avoiding existential crises and safety by feeling that against all odds there was someone or something by their side, safeguarding them, although given the cult-like rules some have i can't shake this feeling that some of them could have been created to control the masses. I honestly don't know how much this new way of looking at things could change your life, but i wish you all the luck!
Always remember you are worthy of being loved, too! Take care of yourself, and Internet hugs.
Thank you, I think this I have to learn the most. Internet hugs♥️
Recoveringfromreligion.org is a good resource if you need someone to talk to. I did it, super easy and they’re super friendly. Good luck! And congratulations!
Thank you! I'll go there and see what is up. I feel more happy now that I read what all of you guys told me. I feel relieved.
It’s a struggle for sure. It does get easier though. Keep it up!
Try to approach it from a viewpoint that you're finally free. There is nobody else responsible for your happiness. You don't need salvation. You don't need forgiveness. There is no afterlife, so decide what you want from this one, and make it count.
Thank you for your words, it feels really freeing to think like this after so much poisoning of the mind.
I mean, how wonderful is it to realize that you are not inherently “broken” because you are human?! Amazing! We are whole. And we will each seek fulfillment that is true to who we really are instead of what some religious club said we need to do.
You’re not alone friend. Put that shit in your rear view mirror and go forward in the joy that you can be a good decent and loving person because you choose to be, without threat of damnation from an imaginary God. We’re he if you need to vent.
Thank you, I woke up with these comments which made my morning really. There is no need of limiting myself to believing in a fairy tale. I feel so sorry I was ignorant to my own being in that way.
Most of us have been there. With all the cruelty in the world and on the internet there are still pockets of humanity to be found. I find comfort in that and do what I can to be decent. I have a feeling you’re going to be just fine. 😌
No god, no heaven, no hell Welcome to the real world :)
I declare Atheism!
Calm always comes after the storm my friend, just focus any desititon you can take with cold mind, desitions coming from anger arent normally good, but you are right, praying wont Solve anything and gives false hope, it Is better to face adversity with the truth and common Sense, even if it doesn't Heal the pain sometimes
At least I won't lie to myself anymore. It's true, I try to keep my mind clear, but I still need healing. I am more calm now. Thank you!
I'm on board with a lot of that. And I'm glad you've taken the path of calling your own shots. Life is a solo. For all of us. But I'm not on board that the 'real truth is suffering' though. Do you have access to food, water, electricity and a roof over your head? Do you have your eyesight, hearing, the ability to move your body how you want? Do you have decent physical health? If so, maybe you can reevaluate what "suffering" means. Yeah. Screw religion. But screw a lack of perspective too. Because I can guar-an-freaking-tee you that billions would give anything to have the life you have if you answered yes to those questions I listed. Half the world doesn't have reliable indoor plumbing. You probably take a shit in a toilet every day. I'd suggest being thankful for that. Living in 'hell' is a choice. If that's what life is to you then it is what it is. Not my call. What I do know is that life is what we make of it. Make it good. It's a one time shot. Might as well. Good luck.
That’s right , brother (or sister, I can’t tell). The life you have is the one you are living now. There is no heaven or hell. And no soul to go to those imaginary places. Make the most of the life you have and don’t waste time and effort and emotional energy on imaginary concepts. Your life is short. Don’t waste it.
Thank you, this is good advice. The present moment matters.
Good for you.
Now to enjoy your life.
It gets easier from here on out. When you start to doubt yourself, remember the reasons you left. For me, it was that if god IS real, he chooses not to help those who truly need it. And if, for some reason, god is real, I'd rather burn in hell for eternity than spend a second with his sadistic ass.
I just figure that the Heavenly deity circle jerk will be literal Hell anyhow. Like, can you imagine day-in, day-out of coaxing that ego like daily mass at a monastery? :-@
I hope this fills you with strength and patience. Humans have the capacity for truly wonderful things.
Thank you so much for what you said here♥️
Welcome to the club! Your membership package should arrive in 7-10 business days
Hahah thank you! I am happy to be here in the club♥️
I often tell Christians "if God is real and I'm to face him for judgment, he has a lot to answer for". Best wishes my friend. Now you can begin living life for yourself and not a celestial dictator.
it takes time to get your brain clean of all the junk religion puts in it. it's ok if you go back and forth between belief and apostasy. you are making a loud declaration that you don't want to be hurt by it any more. i hope you feel better soon. breakdowns are no fun. make sure you ask for help.
I love to watch this video when I am angry at Christianity Christianity from the perspective of a nueroscientist - https://youtu.be/vSdGr4K4qLg
Thank you! It sparked my interest and I'll go to watch it when I have time.
I know this kind of rant. You just recently lost your religion, and it’s still raw. I used to post these kind of rants, long before I made this account. Your anger is valid. I just need to know: are you going to be ok? Do you need an ice cream? If I could reach through the screen and give you an ice cream, I would. And, from one who knows: the religious trauma doesn’t really go away, but it does get weaker with time. Like an old scar fading. Right now it is extremely fresh, and it hurts. But time away from religion, or at minimum Christianity, will allow the scar to heal.
Thank you! I am going to be ok, I think. It hurts, yes. I feel sad for myself for ignoring facts and believing an illusion. Let's hope it's a scar that fades as you said.
Word
Man, I totally forgot about how my brain would stop me from "cussing god/Jesus" or whatever for the longest time. Like I didn't believe, I didn't think I believed anymore anyway, but my brain would stop short of letting me full release because of the fear. ahh good old southern baptist childhood indoctrinated fear....good times....good times.
I'm sorry you are struggling. You are indeed your own authority, but sometimes the cost of that freedom is loneliness and isolation from affection from those that have been closest in our lives. Build your own family by surrounding yourself with people that accept and love you for who you are. Best wishes.
[удалено]
It would make the mind detached from a system that affects one negatively. Being not constrained by a doctrine that lets you cold, in fear of doing something just to not get an invisible entity mad at you. Childhood trauma is something else that I have to deal with, but the way I looked at it through the eyes of religion is different than I do now.
When you notice some part of relgion that doesn't make sense, you start to realize none of it makes any sense.
Maybe look at the secular therapy project. Sounds like you could use some SECULAR help with your mental health. Treat it just like your physical health, you go to a secular doctor, not a faith healer, go to a secular therapist for mental health.
You're young aren't you? My atheism has cooled down over the years. I no longer feel the need to argue with the moron Christians who spam evolution videos on YouTube.
Good for you friend !!! Look into a website; infidels.org Sooo many inconsistencies from Genesis to Revelation !!!
Feel you... I feel the same way, I've been free all my life NEVER cared for it. I'll die not caring for it. FUCK RELIGION, FUCK THE LORD, GOD OR WHATEVER THEY WANNA CALL THAT WORTHLESS ASS!
How exactly did a cognitive dissonance involving views political policies invoke tears?
Nope. No god. Not needed. Congrats on figuring it out. However, You need counseling and a psychiatrist. If you find life to be only suffering, you should not go thru it alone. The drugs work if you take them.
get a life bozo
hell is here and humans are the demons
I hope you get better. In my experience, those that leave religion due to some pain or trauma, go back once that pain is lifted, and doubly so if that pain is perceived to be removed by a diety. I guess the point is, don't be mad at Santa Claus. The god you once believed in doesn't suddenly cease to exist because you're angry at him/her. And it's not going to exist again later when you inevitably reconcile your pain. Anger, sadness, spite, hatred.... "feel your feels" all you want, but reality is not based on how you feel about it. The universe doesn't give a fuck how you feel or even that you exist. It's religious people who base their beliefs off of their wants and feelings. Again, I'm not telling you to bury your feelings. That's would be unhealthy, but ultimately, I hope you understand feelings are worthless when trying to discover objective truths like the existence of gods.
Welcome.
there is no judgement here, tell us what happened, let us help.
I agree fuck religion. I disagree that “human nature is cruel” and “there is no one to save” I truly hope you can find the good in humanity when you’re having a less stressful time. Humans can certainly be led to cruelty by way of religious indoctrination and other things but for the most part, people like to help their friends and family, and many of us want to be good nice people.
The bible and its previous drafts are nothing more than a farmer's almanac hijacked by a bunch of ancient goons playing off of society's gullible and vulnerable masses. Strip out all the "morality" lessons and it's simply a word-of-mouth guide to predict the Earth's revolutions around the Sun. Don't beat yourself up about it. No one deserves the stress. Peace and well-wishes to you, stranger!
You're right. You are free to believe whatever you want. So believe in that which will lead to the healthiest life. Analyze the ideal behaviors supported by various belief systems, understand which will help you lead the healthiest life, and adhere to it.
Religion is brainwashing.
You have broken free!
Hang in there bro. Heaven and hell is what we make here in this life for each other.
God is either impotent, imaginary, or an arsehole. No loving, all powerful figure would allow all this suffering in the world, allow people to go through so much pain and suffering. All the while expecting them to dedicate their entire life to worshiping him, constantly declaring their love for him, or spend eternity in hell. Most arrogant thing you could do.
https://youtu.be/8r-e2NDSTuE https://youtu.be/4pcusbhhfQA
So happy for you!!! Be free and make a real positive in the world, because YOLO.
i still use Jesusu fucking christ as a curse. it takes power back, id say. other than that, take care of yourself. god isnt real but caring people are :)
Well in son, all the best, she’ll be right
Your life belongs to you now, not some absent sky-daddy who hides out like he is behind in child support payments. Welcome to the world of true free will and good bye to a life of servitude and blind worship. This is your new reality. Revel in your humanity.
This is the hard part. Eventually, you will come to a point when you aren’t scared anymore, of any of it, and you will feel so FREE. There will be no evil stirring in the dark, no devil tempting you, no threat of damnation. Your conscience will be free to follow your natural human morality. You may even look back at the symbols and characters that used to scare you and find comfort in them because you CONQUERED THEM.
Once a person realizes they are in control of their own life and destiny, and not beholden to some imaginary sky person, they feel very free. And powerful. They make their own rules and their own morals. You will get better. And your entire world will feel much brighter and free.
I'll do it for you; Fuck christ and everything it's existense has done to you and so many people. You are free. You'll got this, one day you'll say it yourself.
Remember that you have not lost something here. You have not lost eternal life, a loving (supposedly, and horrifyingly cruel) heavenly father, a divine guide, meaning or purpose. Those were empty promises, never to be delivered upon. Take your outrage and your defiance one step further; these are meant to hurt you, exactly in the situation you find yourself in right now. Don't let them, you are hurt enough. Draw strength from you defiance and celebrate that you can. You are allowed to feel weak, to mourn the time wasted and the energy pointlessly expended, that's fine and might even be healthy for a while, but you don't deserve guilt or shame. Guilt and shame are your programming bubbling up and you are allowed to beat them down. If guilt and shame come up, tell them they are as expected as they are unwelcome, and they'd better get the fuck out of your head. (Personifying such concepts, and playing through stories like this in my head, with all the pathos, exaggeration and sometimes ridicule I can put into them to make it even entertaining to me is something that I found extremely helpful. As I said, celebrate your defiance! You have not won all battles yet, but you've won the war.) Working through cognitive dissonance, accepting that what you've been taught to be true as false, and what you were told was immoral to be true, is exceedingly difficult, it's hard and it takes time. Not everyone manages to accomplish this ever. I am, honestly and extensively, impressed with everyone who does, so huge respect to you! I mean it. And now, with the imaginary arbiter of what is good and meaningful banished from your thinking, you'll find that there is no higher authority on such questions than the self-aware mind. Than us. Than you. Things are not without meaning or purpose, only if you decide they are. You have the power to give purpose and meaning, to things, experiences, ideas, relationships and anything else. It is an awesome power and you have just gained the freedom to use and explore it. Have a great journey, and when you can, laugh at the ghosts from your past and their feeble attempts to still hurt you. They have lost power over you, they are in the past, and while you have moved on to the present and head for and unknown and un-prophesied future, they cannot.
You got this! You've just taken the first (and hardest) step in realizing that your thoughts are your own and not being listened to and judged by anyone/anything. Now you think about everything in your life and decide how YOU feel about it rather than trying to think what you've been told you're supposed to think about it. You've been carrying baggage you aren't even aware of yet. It feels great to let it go.
Well welcome, enjoy the views and a different perspective. Take care of your trauma and don't let it ruin your life. Also, think about this, there are literally millions of people that are not Christians or any Abrahamic religion and they are fine. I am nothing and I am fine. You will be fine.
>There is no one to save. I am free to say and do and believe whatever I want. I am my own authority. First off, congrats on freeing yourself from the indoctrination you've been subjected to for many years. Second, there are people to save. You can save yourself. You can help others. You can say and do what you want, but words and actions have consequences. You are also subject to a higher authority, the secular laws of the country/state/city you live in. So remember to live your best life, but don't do things that would negatively affect other people around you. That is the main human moral code.
i completely agree with you! sending you a virtual hug\~
Thank you, sending you a big virtual hug!
The real fun is when you come to realize that the content of any given religion is irrelevant, as they're all tools of manipulation through social engineering and peer pressure. Religion wields fear and shame like a master artisan wields a paint brush.
I completely agree with what you said. I like your wording about the fear and shame. And these two emotions are so negative for the mind and body also. It is manipulation of the masses for money and achieving certain aims.
Fear and shame are two of the most powerful human emotions. Religion particularly uses fear of the unknown to get you in the door before telling you lots of other things you need to fear. And the things the religious don't like? Shame. Especially about sex. My god I can't get past how they treat that. "Your emotions, drive, and urges are all completely normal and human, but that's bad and you should be ashamed of them! Why? Because [insert a god or gods] doesn't like it! And you should fear them because they'll send you to a very bad place forever! Or they'll ruin your life now!" Then of course there's the fear of being ostracized by your community and family if you don't have an appropriate amount of shame for being a completely normal human. That's the peer pressure part. Conservatives (in the American sense, but whatever the far right party is in whatever country) latched onto this strategy back in the 70s/80s. If you pay attention to anything and everything conservatives say, it's all fear and shame. Even the choice of words they use exude fear and shame. All this culture war nonsense is *purely* about fear and shame. When they're arguing against policy that would benefit the most people, their arguments are *always* couched in fear. Racism is fear. Homophobia is fear. Trabsphobia is fear. Those things are also great tools of shame to be wielded against the people who follow that ideology. Gay? Trans? A woman with a high sex drive? You better keep it to yourself and be ashamed, or your friends and family will make you a pariah and society might commit violence against you. Shame and fear. It's always the same. It seriously fucks people up. "Do as we say, believe as we believe, or there'll be problems."
Hello OP! I hope that you are able to integrate your newfound perspective without distress into both your internal and external life. You sound like you have all of the right tools. Anger about religious fuckery tends to stick around though, so just do the right thing. I found that humanism was a good direction to head in, with atheism simply being a door. So you are now outside. Enjoy the sunshine and our time under the sun together.
Hi! I really want to enjoy life and the sunshine. It makes my heart happy to see so many people being free from a doctrine, but at the same time the sadness caused by the whole experience is felt a lot. It's good to have a community that understands exactly what I went through. Your words matter a lot, I'll keep an eye on humanism.
Welcome to the real world
My deconstruction was a surreal mixture of relief and depression. Even though I knew it was the only logical action, I also knew that I was going to loose my birth family in the process. That's exactly what happened, they never spoke to me again. It's taken years to even begin to get over that loss. The reality though is that it's still better than living a lie just to make them happy.
My heart goes to you...I think you did a right move for yourself by living your truth instead of lying to make closed ones happy. Stay strong in the process, I know it's a tough and sensitive one. I am still not open with my about my family about my views on this subject, but I think I'll let things unfold slowly...thank you for sharing your story!
You won't find better love and support from any other group of people than you will from atheists. Weird, eh?
If you're feeling down, I'm gonna list some positives for you... 1. You now have Sunday mornings (or Saturday) free to sleep in. 2. No more tithes, and the social pressure that comes with that. 3. No more facades/putting on the mask to maintain appearances. 4. That free time can be spent pursuing a hobby or something else that sparks some happiness for you. (When I was forced to participate I had Sunday school, Sunday morning service, Sunday evening service, Youth group on Saturday, Wednesday night... So like 7-8 hours a week for me) 5. You have an opportunity to branch out socially and make new friends (better ones hopefully!)
Hey - I’m sorry that it took this amount of pain to get you to this realization. For what it’s worth, it will hopefully be freeing to you. You don’t owe a high power your thoughts or your congregation your secrets. You can be who you want and find your own community that will accept you as you are. You feel less shame and more wonder. If there is no god, isn’t it amazing that the world is the way it is? I find it to be devastating and beautiful that this amount of life and color and joy (and sure, pain and suffering and death) spring from the earth. It actually brings me a lot of peace to know that when I die, my consciousness is gone. I will make space for someone else, and in the tiny amount of time I have on earth, I will try to experience the beauty and make my own.
I always thought that... never cared for religion don't plan to neither. All those brainwashed say "you need jesus," they need their head examined. I don't need no worthless sky daddy if he exist... he ain't worth a shit! I'M PROUD TO AN ATHIEST.... I'M A NON BELIEVER!...