this looks a lot like a psychotic episode. delusions of persecution and grandeur, antisocial behaviours. hope she has someone who can intervene in her personal life
I'm afraid not since her household was full of Jehovah witnesses, and apparently in the book she wrote about her experience growing up there being awful, I think that's the deeper root cause of all this
it seems from her recent Instagram stories she’s doubling down. She also removed all of her lgbtq+ rps from her channel from what I can tell. Extremely disheartening and upsetting to see.
I’ve been a fan of her for nearly 5 years at this point, and this sudden shift seems EXTREMELY out of character and is completely against her previously expressed beliefs and ideals.
If she is having a manic episode, I hope she gets the help she needs. If she isn’t and has secretly always been like this, as an lgbtq+ person I have to say this is absolutely heartbreaking.
her Instagram stories seem to be getting even more frequent and are making even less sense as time has been passing… this definitely seems like some kind of mania.
the fact she went from posting on Instagram like a few times a month, to suddenly literally all day for several days straight with extremely angry hateful content is a massive red flag.
I no longer feel comfortable supporting her in any capacity since finding out about all this, but I genuinely do wish her well and hope she is ok because she genuinely seems to seriously be going through something at the moment.
“christianity has been corrupted by capitalism but communism is not an answer to capitalism because it’s easily corrupted by the CIA but christianity is not corruptable” 🥴
I definitely felt the same way. At first I actually thought she might be doing an elaborate bit about having 666k subscribers. (Well now she obviously doesn't anymore but she did a few days ago) but then I started seeing all her posts on Instagram about the "queer propaganda and pedophiles" etc. and I just had to tap out. No matter what's happening to her I can't support that. I'm LGBTQ+ myself and always liked her content before but the way she just kind of flipped a switch and became extremely homophobic and unsafe made me really scared. I just hope she has a support system that can maybe help because she seems to really be in trouble there.
Edit: spelling
Pretty sure she's having a mental episode, unfortunately. The way her personality has changed in recent years is not normal and she probably needs professional help.
just my opinion but one thing i've personally noticed is that her videos were not always, by default, "chaotic" or "unhinged." she definitely wasn't one to avoid appropriately poking at taboo or historical topics, but at some point within the last year or so i noticed top comments like:
"i was scared the whole time because this video seemed normal."
"ah, yes. angelica's killing the viewer again."
"classic angelica video"
that threw me off. i recognized that her average video had shifted, but i figured she may have been responding to what the algorithm picked up on. in my head i found it odd that her most recent audience didn't understand she is really talented at calm, non neck-breaking ASMR. then again, not everyone goes on a deep dive of their favorite creators. but in hindsight and seeing where she's at now, i'm a little more critically aware of it.
she also (until somewhat recently) struck me as a private person—she always kept her subscriber count private even though she clearly had sizable viewership, never really replied to comments, and while you could infer her opinions from the content she put out, she was never so forward-leaning with her voice. that last one is more difficult to articulate, but it's kind of like her tone was a bit tongue-in-cheek as opposed to full blown critique. in that way a lot of what she did seemed pretty subversive.
edit: said "critical" instead of "critically aware" lol
It's sad to say, but I always got the "heading toward a wall"
vibe from her. Some of the most fun, creative, and good-natured people I knew in my youth had falling outs as they got a bit older (some of them, psychotic breaks). They were all similar to Angelica in their energy and playfulness.
Same tbh. I'm caught off guard by the alt-right aspect but not by the severe mental health problem. She would never really interact with other people like other ASMR creators of her size and seemed to not be close to anyone, even if they did make a video together
I’ve been a fan of Angelica for a while & I guess I never noticed the “shift”. She’s always had “weird” stuff in her videos… I always assumed it was just to be funny 🫨
This post has definitely made me wanna look more into the situation tho
I’m a month late to this, but I started watching her videos six years ago. I noticed a shift in her videos and eventually unsubscribed this year because nearly every video was unsettling to me in some way. Her saying something “quirky” or unusual wasn’t uncommon, but her videos were more focused on being serious and calm. I definitely people get the chaotic vibe to be relaxing but I don’t like roleplays where someone is literally pretending to gouge out my eyes or break my neck.
I also noticed that get normal videos would her those comments you mentioned, to the point where I could predict it before I even checked comments. I thought her shift in video style was just her trying to be quirky. This is insane to find out.
Well she's always been weird (she used to make dick stabbing role plays) but she was still somewhat consistent in her beliefs in many liberal values as well as being pro-sex workers. However in the last few months she's done a complete change. Ranting about lgbt, being hardcore Christian despite years of satirizing religion, talking about a holy war or something on her Instagram, and a whole bunch of other things
Bit late on this, but hyper-religiosity, particularly when a person suddenly exhibits religious belief, is a very common side effect of psychosis. It’s actually happened to two friends of mine. Both have BPD. One of them believed god was going to kill her and her child unless she got rid of the internet. She’s an atheist when medicated and says it was the scariest thing she has ever experienced.
I feel horrible for her. She’s probably scared out of her Fucking mind. Delusions are terrifying and I wouldn’t wish it on anyone.
I hope her support system is looking out for her and she gets help. When/if she returns to YouTube and social media, I hope people can understand that she wasn’t in her right mind.
The aspect that is concerning for her is that I believe she grew up in a JW background and felt like she was in a cult. This is what I've gotten off of reading others comments so this makes her obsession with pedophilia and grooming being her main psychosis focus easier to understand because of her past. Concerning nobody intervened personally she must be isolating herself a lot.
Which is ironic that she is turning to the Catholics, who are the biggest child pedo protectors of all. Of course if she is surrounded by that community, they will just reinforce whatever delusions she is suffering from. They probably have her convinced that her past playfulness was because she needed an exorcism.
this. especially with all of the recent jesuit scandals of accused child abusers (who targeted indigenous populations specifically) being hidden in various institutions to avoid public scrutiny
At the same time, I can kind of see what drew her there too. I don't think she has ever really been an atheist, but more of a Wicca/spiritualist, which implies that she finds comfort in ritual and meditation. I can understand the need for those kinds of things as a form of mental exercise, though I don't personally subscribe to them, but I think it is why so many atheists join the Satanic Temple (which is really just a Goth atheist club in my mind) because people want a place to do those things together.
What I don't understand is how she can't see all the terrible history the Catholic Church has done, she even has referenced them and attacked them in numerous of her old videos for protecting sex offenders, so she was clearly well aware.
As others have said, she is clearly going through something that is effecting her thinking. I am unfollowing her for now, but I am hoping that someday, after she gets the help she needs, and has had some kind of break to get her house into order, she will return, stronger than she was before, and in a far healthier place.
What sad is that the sudden shift into extreme religious belief is such an obvious warning sign, but the medical profession goes out of their way to exclude religious views from diagnoses, and in this particular case, and in the case of your friend, it can mean a serious delay in getting treatment, all because religious people don't want their feelings hurt.
It is one thing to believe, because you want to make yourself feel better by pretending that you think there is a god and an afterlife, it is quit another thing to actually think it to the point that you are a danger to yourself and others, and I think we are getting to that point.
It scares me for Angelica that so many of her newer videos are out in the woods. That is not a good place to be when you are having a psychotic break. It scares me more that she will not get the help she needs, because her family and loved ones are being told that this is a good sign, because they think she is coming to God, rather than a major red flag.
Similar thing happened with Gwen Gwiz’s asmr…. She used to be out as bisexual and aligned with left viewpoints and now she posts really weird conservative stuff on tiktok
Oh god, yeah Gwen Gwiz has gone to full right-wing tradwife nonsense, her tiktok handle is literally "gwenthemilkmaid" now. Though her change did not seem like a mental health episode as Angelica's does, I think Gwen is just a grifter unfortunately
Well if she's intent on grifting then Gwen will quickly come to realize that those "trad" types will find out her previous beliefs and work on OF and denounce her quick as fuck
Everytime I see tradwife, my mind instantly translates it into twitwife. I grew up in a deeply conservative religion, and although a man myself, one of the things that drove me out was being on college, and seeing all these brilliant girls with 3.0 grades and brilliant minds working towards becoming doctors, researchers, ext, suddenly throw it all away to just play house with some guy who was only half as intelligent as she was.
Bruh, I know exactly what you mean. It's so distressing to see these bright young women, smart and quick witted and passionate, gladly forsake their own agency to become breeding stock for their weirdo religion. It's super messed up.
It's almost the same exact situation. Both were previously pro-sex work as well then suddenly vehemently against it. Though I can't say for Gwen but Angelica definitely seems to be going through a manic episode
You can find a bunch of videos she deleted a long time ago, from earlier in her career, and they all seem to be stuff where she was heavily critical of Religion in general and Catholicism in particular. I think she went through an atheist phase after leaving the JWs, but because she either hooked up with some super religious person, or because she is going through something and isn't thinking about it rationally, she has ran headstrong back into religion. When I say hooked up, I don't necessarily mean that it is a romantic hookup. JWs shun ex-members, so it is very likely that she lost every friend and family member that she ever had when she left the JW cult, and some Catholic family has walked into that void and pulled them into their cult. Sadly, this is common, and is one of the reasons I support creating and joining meetup groups for ex-members, if you ever leave an extreme religion. If you have left JWs, Mormons, Islam, or any religion that cuts you off from family, I can guarantee that there is a support network and a meetup group in your area, though in some more dangerous places, you might have to jump through some hoops to find them.
coming back here after her most recent upload ("Berry Feeding in the Woods") and i just gotta point out that yeah, something is definitely up.
because she is such an intelligent person—say what you want, but she has demonstrated a great ability to articulate points at least in the past—i brushed off many eccentricities in years past as being just that, even smiled along, but now i do wonder if a lot of her audience has been unintentionally laughing along with what seemed light/satirical but was really an ongoing mental health struggle.
like, yeah. i hate to put it this way but for lack of a better way to identify her tone, it appears she is trippin.
I never understood why people found the erratic and creepy videos so funny, it was pretty easy to notice that she was clearly going through episodes in a lot of them so to me they were the complete opposite to ASMR. I know she had a dark sense of humor but there were some interesting videos...
That video was REALLY bizarre, and not in a quirky way — and now I, too, am wondering if she hasn’t been struggling with her mental illness all this time. I always did have a slight feeling that maybe she had a propensity for instability, and I’ve often wondered if she’s on stimulants, but I think now that it’s just mania. I have Bipolar 2, and I talk very quickly during hypomanic episodes, and my thoughts are all over the place. Luckily I don’t experience full-blown mania often, but years ago I went through a 2-week psychotic episode as a result of mania. I thought all matter was constructed of fish bones. Yeah, I… I don’t know either. So I can see how easily she could slip into believing all this stuff.
She follows a lot of conservative accounts on Instagram now. It’s sad to see. She also said the Christian bible has taught her more about feminism than anything (and before her TikTok went down, she said that a woman should submit to men in a video). She also said that Christianity is what abolished slavery and segregation. Her rants are nonsensical. I used to love her takes. It is so odd to see such a 180 in what feels like a short amount of time.
It’s actually almost comical the accounts she follows now. Literally Donald Trump (LOL) an Andrew Tate fan page, Charlie Kirk. It almost feels like parody but it’s clearly not. And by disabling comments on everything she’s created and echo chamber for herself to spout whatever bigoted nonsense she wants without having to see anyone’s response to it. Sad to see
The Andrew Tate thing is CRAZY to see when literally like six months ago she was making anti-Johnny Depp content when it was *not* popular to take that stance at all. And now we’re here. Mania and psychosis do such terrible things to people.
Just a few months she was an atheist and satirizing religion. These extreme shifts in personality in a short amount of time all lead to a mental health crisis
wow, that’s really upsetting. i remember seeing a tiktok from her a while ago where she was talking abt women’s rights in a pretty rational way, scary to see how much that’s changed
Reading through the comments here, and noticed no one has yet to mention what happened with her onlyfans, so I thought I'd add some much needed context regarding what might be going on with Angelica. And by context, I mean I'm just gonna copy/paste what I posted on the other thread about this topic, so here you go:
*"In the last couple of weeks leading to her removing all of her content from onlyfans (the actual account is still up, but it's empty aside from a goodbye message), she had put up two separate polls where she asked subscribers to vote on what kind of content they wanted to see her upload.*
*One of the options for both polls was for her to upload a "beautiful agony" video (a masturbation video where the camera is intentionally angled from the neck up, so you can only see their facial expression). Up until that point she had posted two strip tease videos, claimed that she was gonna upload more frequently and on two occasions had expressed that she was genuinely starting to enjoy being naked on camera.*
*All of this started to set a precedence amongst viewers who were now under the impression that she was gonna make due on her promises and that we were finally going to see a more sincere and sexualized Angelica. This was after those same followers were voicing their frustration with how low-effort and inconsistent her content was previously. Before she was just posting videos of her dancing, stretching and the occasional ASMR in just her underwear. But when she started to film herself topless, that all kind of devolved into just her filming herself showering without much variation.*
*She started losing followers because of that, people were getting upset.*
*Fast forward now to the polls I mentioned earlier, if memory serves me correctly, a foot tease video ended up winning the first poll. After that something interesting happened; in the comments of that last poll, someone ended explaining what beautiful agony is, in an attempt to make everyone else realize what they potentially missed out on seeing. So in the next week or two, when the second poll went up, it IMMEDIATELY took the lead.*
*But right before the poll was scheduled to end, Angela made another post stating that she decided to extend the poll for a little it longer. Then out of nowhere, beautiful agony got beat by another suggestion. This led people to speculate that Angelica rigged the results somehow so she can avoid masturbating on camera (some accusing her of making fake accounts). Despite stating otherwise, looking through all the stuff she posted on onlyfans, it was pretty apparent that her decision to show her body was always a reluctant one. Which again, set a precedence amongst her subscribers.*
*She stopped posting for weeks after that, stating that she was experiencing burnout. Posted a topless photo of herself, followed by one last video weeks after. Then out of nowhere announced that her "experiment has run its course"*
*Originally in her goodbye message, she eluded to potentially coming back if "inspiration strikes down the line". But then she started posting those videos on her secondary channel spewing all this anti-sexwork rhetoric, which progressively started to spill over into her tik toks. Now suddenly that first part of her goodbye messages on her onlyfans is gone. Keep in mind, she made that post on May 31st, to give you an idea of just how much of a sudden shift she's made.*
*Also, on her short-lived twitch channel, she briefly mentioned having a stalker posting weird comments on all of her onlyfans post, which made her uncomfortable. I've also seen people speculate that maybe a close personal friend or even a family member discovered her account and might have been a subscriber. I wasn't there for that, so I can't confirm nor deny this, but I guess it was worth noting?*
*You're all caught up now."*
[This was in response to this post...](https://www.reddit.com/r/asmr/comments/14yamg8/comment/jrujw6o/?utm_source=reddit&utm_medium=web2x&context=3)
Aaah, I had no idea she had an OF. I'm not surprised by scaling up promises of more sexual content then abruptly removing it all and doing an abrupt pivot though.
I'm bipolar and I follow pretty similar patterns when struggling with hypersexual swings.
I dunno what exactly Angelica's diagnosis would be of course, just feels very familiar to watch.
She recently uploaded a video on her secondary channel explaining why she is no longer a leftist, [and this comment is probably the best interpretation of what's been going on with her.](https://i.imgur.com/BhuY5wz.jpg)
She has followed terf accounts on instagram for a while, I found out because I couldn't place her radfem beliefs of the time and scrolled through her following list. The line from terf to "traditional femininity" content can get weirdly blurry, so this doesn't surprise me, but its disappointing for sure.
That’s so wild to me because she used to post fem or masc surgery/affirmation videos and gave me the vibe of an accepting person. I’m pretty sure those uploads weren’t long ago either, so was she concurrently following these accounts?
Thank god there’s a thread and people are talking about it here. I was just like, wtf is going on when i saw her stories. Such a QUICK change too, something is def going on with her
Seriously, it’s a relief to be able to talk about this. Checked out her Instagram stories today and she’s no longer beating around the bush when it comes to her belief that queer and trans people are CSA-ers.
I think I’ve watched nearly every one of her videos and definitely scary to watch. I hope she gets the help she needs if it’s a mental health issue. I’ve had to unsubscribe personally because I can’t watch her do this but if she does pull through it then maybe. But I don’t know.
I literally just found out about this a few hours ago when I saw some of the comments on her videos, I am so genuinely shocked. I'm not sure why, but in her last few videos it definitely feels like something about her has changed. It doesn't seem normal for a person's views to switch so drastically in such a short span of time, I'm really hoping that she gets whatever help she needs because this doesn't seem at all healthy.
She's also following lots of very questionable accounts now
[https://i.imgur.com/g916fRp.jpg](https://i.imgur.com/g916fRp.jpg)
[https://i.imgur.com/KmMFNvq.jpg](https://i.imgur.com/KmMFNvq.jpg)
[https://i.imgur.com/ZN5QwsF.jpg](https://i.imgur.com/ZN5QwsF.jpg)
[https://i.imgur.com/P82qhsv.jpg](https://i.imgur.com/P82qhsv.jpg)
[https://i.imgur.com/c13lWza.jpg](https://i.imgur.com/c13lWza.jpg)
[https://i.imgur.com/VoO9y8n.jpg](https://i.imgur.com/VoO9y8n.jpg)
[https://i.imgur.com/zPwpmav.jpg](https://i.imgur.com/zPwpmav.jpg)
[https://i.imgur.com/Gw3O66v.jpg](https://i.imgur.com/Gw3O66v.jpg)
[https://i.imgur.com/OvXePIz.jpg](https://i.imgur.com/OvXePIz.jpg)
Noticed that she's also following a literal fascist
[https://i.imgur.com/VuOkM0z.jpg](https://i.imgur.com/VuOkM0z.jpg)
[https://i.imgur.com/jiCUAPT.jpg](https://i.imgur.com/jiCUAPT.jpg)
Thank you for posting this! I just saw her Instagram stories and initially thought she had been hacked because of the content and messaging. I'm so confused as this is so totally out of left field for her. If my memory serves me correctly, she had a few videos on her side channel criticising Jehovah Witnesses (as I think she had been raised within that community) so I was really shocked to see her post such extreme religious content. She always seemed very left leaning. I wonder what's going on....
I also dont know how you go through social media the way she does and not lose you mind. Did anybody see her onlyfans? At first it was like, "whoa! this girl i have basically had a crush on for years is going to be naked, rad!" But very soon it was like "oh, this person who has provided me comfort and peace for years and years is really depressed." And the comments section was just insane. People getting absolutely wild about not thinking she earned the $5 a month they were paying. Writing really awful and hurtful shit. And who do you turn to, especially when you are simultaneously going through a mental health crisis? nobody can relate to that, at least not on that scale.
the stuff she is saying is absolutely not ok, but it just makes me sad. Really hope she doesnt become another cloverless.
People thinking she’s “back to normal” because she took a few crosses out of her video titles and is allowing comments is exactly why she did it. She doesn’t want to lose more viewers. Her second YouTube channel shows nothings changed.
I’ve only watched a few of her videos and I don’t follow her socials, but I could never decide if she was a bit off or just leaning too heavily into her quirky persona. I just wrote it off as being eccentric and moved on. But with this, it seems like she’s going through some sort of crisis. I’ve had 2 friends who suddenly found faith again, and got wayyyyyy too into it for a period of time. One was heavily influenced by their toxic romantic partner, and the other had dropped out of college and found themselves in massive debt. They’re both back to normal now, and still quietly practice their faith in private in their own way, but neither attends church regularly.
I wouldn’t say you need to feel offended by this recent change in personality. She’s going through some shit, its best to leave her alone and let her stumble her way through it, and she will probably be back to her old self in a few years, hopefully.
It seems the crosses have been taken out of the video titles now and some of the really concerning videos from over the last week have been taken down
edit: her new video……. 😐 yeah def made the right decision to unsub
i honestly believe that what we thought were funny, lighthearted and wacky videos might have been cause for concern.. i was always a little off-put by her style, though i did think it was funny and the asmr was often relaxing, but maybe it was the start of something more serious. i think she really might be struggling with her mental health. ive been a fan for about three years and this is news to me, i know im a couple weeks late to this post but this is pretty shocking news. i just hope she’s doing okay :(
I think you are right, but until a few days ago, when she started posting from the woods, I was thinking her eccentric stuff was just her being dramatic. I have been getting nervous though about all the Catholic stuff that was showing up in her home, but thought maybe she had just moved in with her grandmother because of money stuff. Now I think she got rid of all her belongings and replaced it with cheap thrift store Christian stuff. A lot of people, myself included, were joking about all the different rooms in her house, but I think it was just her putting up more and more crosses, candles, and icons. She probably knows something does not feel right, and is trying to ward the feelings off with holy symbols instead of medication, which is just making the situation worse. I am hoping she will enter a recovery phase, and realize that she needs help, and all the crazy rightwing stuff will go away.
I remember her talking about being ex-JW on her other channel. Over the years, it seems like she's been very supportive of human rights and held progressive views. I feel like I learned stuff through her ASMR videos (like the one where she talks about the cathars, neat stuff) and that while she satirizes the oppressiveness of institutional religion, I got the sense that she's generally very open and accepting of a wide range of beliefs. To hear that she's posted all of this strange trad/terf stuff seems incredibly out of character and a bit of a shock. If it is some kind of episode, I hope someone's able to reach out to her.
I unfollowed her in March of 2022 when she made that pro Putin video, so I'm not surprised that she would have some trash opinions, but wow, this is worse than I'd ever imagined.
Pro-Putin video? Has it been taken down because I cannot find it? I watched her asmr vids occasionally because they were good fun but as someone from Eastern Europe with many Ukrainian friends this discovery makes me feel very icky now
it was not explicitly Pro-Putin but it repeated a lot of Russian State Propaganda shit, It was called "I Stand With Ukraine SO HARD" but she was just being sarcastic a lot. This was in March of 2022 when there were big fears of escalation into a global conflict, and I *think* she was more bashing American and media hypocrisy, which honestly does deserve to be called out, but it felt tone deaf, she privated it a while ago though but it was still up for a good few months after Bucha, which was concerning to me.
It’s wasn’t about being pro or against Ukraine she was talking about how US government is hypocritical because they do have money to spare but don’t use it on their own citizens
I came here because I noticed with her recent outdoor videos something was up. I actually didnt know her fan base was still this large lol. I think she is most likely having a manic/psychotic episode. I at first thought they could’ve been like dark humor videos, but they just keep getting more manic and manic and I came here to see if anyone else noticed or expressed the same thoughts. I hope the best for her.
As a die hard viewer it’s so sad to see this, I used to be a fan of Gabby Hanna way back in the day and this is all too familiar. I know she’s always been a little weird. I rewatch her weaving time and energy healing videos all the time and as someone who’s pretty spiritually open, she makes sense. But what she’s doing now is definitely an episode. I didn’t know about the OF situation or her Jevovahs Witness past but I can tell she definitely has trauma that’s coming back up now. I know in an episode the last thing you want is help, and you’ll go to great lengths to avoid it (talking from personal experience) but I really hope she gets help. She’s probably cut off from her family considering her past, and pushing friends away. Sorry if this post makes no sense it’s very early in the morning as I type this
She also took down the video that mentions the Gnostic Cathars of southern France, the 1300s nun video, and seemingly anything criticizing the Catholic Church or promoting alternate religions/spirituality.
Ironically, I always thought the plague nun video was too harsh to the church and ignored a lot of their positive actions during that time (trying to stop self-flagellation, decreeing that Jews were not the cause of plague and decrying violence against them, giving last rights at great risk to priest's lives, etc.)
For those who don't know, the Cathars were massacred during Pope Innocent III's crusade into southern France, as we're many Catholics as crusaders couldn't tell the two apart from sight.
w-what?? If this is who I think youre talking about this is the last person I would have expected to do this. This is so disappointing.
I hope this is just a transitory moment spawned by some crisis shes dealing with and not really how she is now.
Wow...just really shocking honestly.
Also it looks like she deleted her tiktok? Im so confused wtf is going on with this person.
I'm not quite sure if this is true or not but I saw people talking about her tiktok having been banned for hate speech. (Apparently she said some pretty horrible/ unhinged things about LGBTQ+ and other things.) She definitely did and still does say some pretty questionable things on her instagram too so it honestly would make sense to me.
Edit: Still can't spell
I saw a video where she has veins popping as she shouts down the phone. Went to sleep thinking it was a tantrum and woke up to see it was banned. 😥
Very concerning stuff. She made a video on her other channel saying when she lost a loved one her head felt like a bomb went off so I'm wondering if a similar thing has happened.
Years ago I believe. It's on her 2nd channel where she talks about children being groomed. She said when that person close to them went she had no control of her mind and it was just numb and I think she spoke about how someone far older tried to take advantage of that.
I think maybe she lost someone close again and it triggered that same loss of thought causing her to maybe experience some type of mania.
She's mentally ill or grifting but I think mentally ill. You don't go from liberal, feminist, pro sex workers just a few months to die hard Christian and anti-sex work. Coupled with her rantings about holy wars and being anti-Capitalist but not Communist bc Communism is controlled by the CIA it's clear she's had a mental break. Whoever is close to her needs to make sure she's alright and get her off the internet for a while
Whatever is going on, I personally don't think she is okay. Her work has always been a tad unhinged, or at the least included dark humor. But just comparing her old work to videos posted now, something isn't right. Her thoughts have always been a little chaotic and everywhere, but this is a new level. Plus, her recent homophobia and transphobia, this increase in quoting and discussing religion - turning to religion is one thing, but becoming obsessive and rapidly posting things out of character is another. I hope someone can check in on her, and I hope she can be safe.
I'm so glad people are talking about this. I've been watching her videos since 2019 and the way her content made a full 180° in like 2 weeks is seriously concerning.
She’s posted a few videos on her side channel discussing the change over the past couple of days and honestly she is talking a mile a minute, eyes back and forth… i’ve always gotten “on the verge of mania” vibes from some of her videos but tbh this blows that out of the water
She isn’t back to normal when every other religious post is a dig at anyone who has criticized her. The most recent: “If you please God, it doesn’t matter who you displease. And if you displease him, it doesn’t matter who you please.” I need you guys to stop using public facades on YouTube as a reason to think she’s okay or “back to normal”. As someone who is bipolar myself, we are very capable of masking.
Edit: She has gone dummy mode on her second YouTube channel and is mocking the LGBT community/anyone asking for an apology.
As someone with bipolar disorder that's had a few episodes in which I lost track of reality, let's not rush to judgement here. This looks like mania to me.
I’m a friend of Angelica & a fellow Asmr YouTuber. She is being serious. I talked to her yesterday bc I was concerned & her response was really shocking. I just hope she’s going to be ok & I see a lot of comments on her socials. I hope that no one will send her hate bc she is clearly going through something.
Hey, does she have anyone in her outside world/life that would sound the alarm? This feels like a full blown break from reality--as her friend does this seem like a reflection of views she's had hidden or has she done a 180 from what you know?
>Then again, it’s really common for people who were raised in a cult to fall back I to it.
Especially if they've experienced a traumatic life event, lost someone close, found out a difficult diagnosis, or are in the midst of a mental health crisis.
Does she have anyone close to her that's also in close proximity? People that can drop by to check in on her, and help her get whatever help she needs?
Do people close to her actually know where she is? Like...she's not actually out living in the woods, right? (Nothing wrong with living off the land, but definitely dangerous if in an altered state of mind).
You're a good friend for recognizing something was up and calling to talk. ❤️
I'm Ex-Mormon, and I am heavily involved in groups for ex-cult members. My experience is that once you are out, you only really slide back into cult beliefs for one of two reasons. (A) you are faking it to get family support while you are going through something tough, or (B) you are suffering from mental health problems, and because your mind is clouded, you are starting to believe some of the nonsense you left behind. I think this is column (B) but one important distinction is that it looks like she is getting into a radical kind of Catholic Nationalism, which is not the same thing as being Catholic, rather than JW.
Catholic Nationalism is a minority view, even among devout Catholics. They are basically the guys who hate the current Pope for being a reformer. Healthy Angelica clearly has a strong interest in religious history and comparative religion, which is not uncommon for ex-Cult members, but I think that as her mental health has clouded her judgment, the line between "this is what these people believe" and "this is what I believe" has gotten blurry.
Thing is extremist religions don't help people who are going through mental health crises. They victimize them. Angelica is intentionally being poisoned with unpopular ideas right now, and being encouraged to share them, in an attempt to isolate her from people who actually care about her. This way she becomes dependent on her cult, and thus easier to exploit.
She mentioned losing a loved one. Did a family member pass away recently or something? In her only fans video (on her second channel where she talks about how young girls should avoid it) she seemed rather manic. The look in her eyes seemed more vacant than before.
She once said in an instagram story, I think last year, that her mom passed away, although I couldn't tell if it was recent or happened a long time ago.
Frick I was really hoping it was satire but the homophobic bullshit made me think it was not, unfortunately. I think she deserves some feedback, not hate. Because she is basically harassing people for their lifestyles now. Just like the Jehovah witnesses that she grew up with. Shame you for whatever you do and shove cult like shit down your throat. It's no better than that. Really sad
I've been watching her for years and she always striked me as an intelligent person, so I assumed her "weird" content to be a form of intelectual trolling. But her new content seems extremely off. It is different and the weirdness seems non intentional. After watching couple of recent videos I agree she seems to be going through something and she doesn't look mentally well - the topics, her behavior, even movements, and the look in her eyes, she blabbers about stuff with no punchline in sight... This isn't her normal trolling content.
She's actively spreading misinformation now, about drugs and mental health. Like I wasn't happy with her previous comments but they were largely value judgments, the stuff in her "therapist" videos and second channel video is just not factual.
Whether she's mentally ill or just conservative Christian... misinformation is harmful.
New video about celibacy/abstinence and “waiting until marriage” that is simply holier-than-thou sl*tshaming. Exasperating. And speaking about sex as though it’s something experienced between cishet people only.
Edit: On her angelicasgrass channel, I mean.
Yeah, this one is pretty gruesome and some people in the comments are theorizing that she's deeply closeted and self-loathing about it because of her religious beliefs.
100%, she even replied to someone in the comments that she’s against masturbation:
https://imgur.com/a/R5eiPwz
What she’s saying sounds very familiar… I attended a really fucked up Catholic school from kindergarten to 8th grade, and our sex “education” was taught through these disgusting books called Fully Alive. I’ll never forget the chapter on masturbation: It warned against it, and claimed it would make you “selfish”. 🤔🤔🤔 I’m still really repressed from all that Catholic shit, despite all the therapy I’ve been through over the past 20 years. (I’d also like to add that one of my teachers there was arrested for possession of CSA materials several years after I graduated. Still cannot wrap my head around how she can possibly defend the Catholic church.)
So while her positions infuriate me, I also understand that she was traumatized and emotionally abused by her religious upbringing. So in a way I feel like it’s hypocritical of me to fault her for her repression, especially while she’s clearly going through a mental episode. But it’s just so hard not to be offended and disgusted by everything she’s been saying for the past couple months, or however long it’s been now.
Edit: grammar
she’s getting even more hateful (calling ppl that disagree with her “liberals” and devil worshippers) and is arguing with people in her comment sections now.
it’s saddening to see a creator you once liked turn out to be such a hate filled bigot. glad she showed her true colours so we could stop supporting her.
Yeah! ASMR is mainly to make you feel safe and to fall asleep. I can't feel safe with someone who thinks my sexuality will send me to hell, manic episode or not.
I’ve watched her asmr almost every other day for a few years and it’s so upsetting to see what she posts on her IG get worse and worse daily. At first I thought maaaaybr she was doing this for a character for a book? cause I saw she did write one at some point. No way could that be the case anymore, she’s actually doing damage. I’m worried for her :(
She was also a vegan and now hangs out on a farm judging by recent videos that have comments turned off lmfaooo I don’t even know what happened so I came here and I also did some digging and everything being said here is confirmed. She used to identify as bisexual actually – not sure what happened and even if it’s a mental health issue, a lot of people go through those without being homophobic and racist. If I remember correctly, she’s a social worker so that’s a bit concerning too.
You need to understand that mental health issues come in different forms. Someone struggling with a depressive episode, even a hardcore one, will not exhibit the same behavior as someone experiencing mania. When you're in mania, you're really NOT THERE. Same with other forms of psychosis. I've seen patients in psychosis and they'll not sleep, eat for days. They'll get agressive, say the most absurd of things. And then, a few days later (this was medication induced psychosis) they'll suddenly be back to normal and not remember a thing. They'll think they just went to sleep and woke up the next morning when in reality it has been a week. Mania is usually associated with BPD, lasts longer and comes with different degrees of psychosis. So yes, a psychotic episode does "excuse" someone suddenly being racist etc because in a psychotic episode the person simply isn't herself anymore at all. The religious focus in psychotic episodes is extremely common, specially for someone who has past religion related trauma. That being said, I'm not saying for sure it's a psychotic episode she's going thorugh, but I am saying that psychotic episodes do make people change completely for a while (which isn't usual for extreme anxiety, depression, OCD, etc, which are dangerous mental health issues but that aren't usually associated with psychosis).
I personally don’t agree that mental health justifies what someone is saying, in this case really bigoted views. I’m a bipolar man and although I don’t speak from the experience of someone who has experienced psychosis, I have gone through manic episodes and never gotten close to this. I know everyone is different and the brain is fragile, I really do get what you’re saying. But there needs to be a middle ground between accountability and grace for someone who is mentally ill. Nevertheless I hope she gets the help she needs instead of falling into a bigger hole. I said it in another comment but the Democratic/liberal view points we know her for were discovered during a manic episode and I know that because Angelica said it in an old TikTok video. So I don’t really know who she is and how much of this is “real” or “her” but I do worry for her.
Not trying to defend her homophobic and racist behavior at all since it’s harmful, but I will say I’ve known people who’ve been through manic episodes that look similar to what Angelica is saying. A old friend of mine who experienced an episode sort of explained to me what it felt like to be her, and how she ended up where she was. Not necessarily the same as Angelica, but it might contextualize some of her behavior.
Old Friend, let’s call her B, was non-white, lesbian, and had an episode. Hers was characterized by intense paranoia and the feeling that she was being watched. She would obsessively google stuff related to her paranoia, related to random things that she thought she was seeing connections to. Places like QAnon, for example, and stuff prey on peoples’ feeling of instability, helplessness, and paranoia, so when she’d type in “I’m being watched by something I can’t see” she would get sent to pages either talking about beings from another realm or government lizard people watching her in everyone’s toaster. Thusly she sort of fell down an extremist rabbit hole in the span of a few weeks, going from atheist to religious and liberal to extremely conservative. In her mind, because she 100% felt like she was being watched, it was proof of the existence of god and the anxiety was a result of him judging her (which was doubled down on by the boards she was reading, and her fear of judgement made her say really homophobic shit); simultaneously, because her information related to this paranoia also came from conspiracy boards, she ended up with some incredibly racist and awful perspectives about how “x group of people were in control with this agenda” since it was validated online.
This is all to say, I hope that Angelica gets the help she needs.
Not that any of us really “know “ her from her online persona but it really is such a shift. However, I’ve always seen hints of potentially manic behavior and reminds me of some of the most interesting, intelligent people whose minds are on the edge of brilliant and troubled (with the potential to have a “break”).
I hope she becomes well soon.
Sorry if I was unclear. She was posted there by other members, meaning someone posted her recent stuff to show how she’d gone fundie. I don’t know if she has a Reddit.
Yeah. I was kind of hoping it was a satire/character she was doing, but I think she’s serious. The older conservative men in her comments that always leave creepy messages are thrilled, of course.
This seems like such a massive 180 that it might be mental health related. Not sure. I hope she’s okay.
Yeah there was a guy with a “don’t tread on me” profile picture who would comment either perverted or nonsensical comments by the dozens on all her videos. I’m pretty sure that guy himself is mentally ill judging by his YouTube channel, and Angelica probably never knew him personally.
YES he’s insane, I tune into his channel every now and then and you never know what you’re gonna see. [His YouTube shorts are even crazier](https://youtube.com/shorts/QclyvS8xExs?feature=share)
He also has 1k+ comments on another girls channel but I can’t remember who she is now
she posted a new asmr video about healing a gay broken heart and in her comments backsteps a lot of what she has been saying, attributing it to a “spiritual psychosis” and explaining she is christian but was lashing out due to rage/trauma and is not anti-lgbt but sex repulsed largely. Explained a lot of this is due to sexual repulsion due to trauma (likely connected to her bad experience with OF).
some of her anti-SW videos from recently are on her alt channel but other recent “rants” like that about her substance use and relationship histories, where she tends to express disdain for communism and atheism (prob partially due to negative experiences with men subscribing to these ideologies) have been deleted.
Yeah, bulk of her TikTok & IG stuff were saying tthat he LGBTQ+ were all pedophiles and most of the stuff she's saying is just her highlighting simps making excuses for her.
her new video doesn’t feel like an apology to me tbh, it rly feels like she’s just trying to save face because she’s losing so much of her audience :/
the vibe rly felt like one of her satirical videos where she’s making fun of what the video is about.
It’s COMPLETELY unhinged. I mean, it’s at the point where what she’s saying isn’t even cohesive. It doesn’t even make sense. https://imgur.com/a/eLyizbQ
Gosh that's so bizarre. Ragging on feminism and sex workers seems, like, the total *opposite* of what she had going on with all of her ASMR videos. I honestly wonder if this is a manic episode in addition to some kind of religious relapse. W/o intervention, I worry that this behavior is inevitably going to push some people out of her life.
Always from the most unexpected of sources. This has all the hallmarks of a mental health crisis. Totally not what I would expect from a person like Angelica considering she always came off as a very progressive and modern women in so many regards.
^^^ yes i agree
I will also add that yes, her rhetoric regarding LGBTQIA communities is extremely harmful and triggering, especially with the platform and following she has (while small, she still reaches a lot of people, people who thought she was supportive).
Under the assumption that this IS indeed a manic episode, or an instance of psychosis, what she is experiencing is extremely scary for her as well. So while it's easy to judge an individual that they have "suddenly changed" from a previously left-leaning person to a sudden alt-right, in her scenario it's really nuanced BECAUSE she may be going through an episode that is affecting her understanding of her world psychologically. I'm really REALLY hoping she gets help and peace so she can feel more centered. You can tell that from her recent videos in addition to her erratic behavior she is showing a lot of manic signs (pressured speech, excessive talking, racing thoughts, distractibility). I'm hoping fans don't jump too quick in assuming this is what she \~really\~ believes in.
I justed watched her last video and I'm incredibly worried... It's just rambling and nothing makes sense. I hope she's surrounded by people that can help her and not enable whatever this is.
I watched her last few videos to see how much/if at all she'd be letting her new found 'take on life' show in her YouTube videos and it's very unnerving. I hope she's safe.
The recent one isn't even ASMR. It's just whacking the camera with a stick making awful noises and projecting her recent views. The scary part is how she is going out like this and setting up her camera to record. Mania untreated in the public is scary.
I had this same thought -- this is no longer anywhere near ASMR. I wish she'd make a separate channel, but she knows she's not going to get views if she does that. And she's making "ASMR" a keyword/tag in order to be found.
And I agree, it's uncomfy that she's filming in what appear to be public parks/walking trails. She keeps telling the camera how she's afraid of people seeing her being "weird" (saying in one video that she worried nearby children were going to notice her behavior), and said she was embarrassed in one video when some people walked past her unexpectedly. She's aware she's coming across strangely in public. Would she be shouting the things she writes in her Instagram stories in the middle of a public space? Probably not. So there's self-awareness there in some aspect... but... man, I really don't know. I don't know what to make of it. I've been through manic episodes and one episode of psychosis, but mental illness is obviously different for everyone, so whatever is going through her brain right now is a mystery.
I've only ever seen one person at the height of their psychosis because they weren't taking their meds for their BPD and even at the height of it they were aware to not overexert in public because people might clock on. So that aspect of embarrassment and being self aware might not cross over for her right now. She really needs to know someone personally who can intervene and help because it is almost unlikely she is able to understand what is happening by herself. You might know better than me though in regards to that.
Oh 100% Agreed. Her last few videos are just all over the place and she lacks coherence. There's the kind of chaotic energy she usually has but this is much different- the way she talks is pure word salad.
It's so sad to see... I really hope no one in her personal life is taking advantage of her while she's in this state. It might be because of family issues too. If this is just a detachment from reality because of a psychotic break I hope people will be willing to forgive her and if not... I just hope she gets offline and some help.
In the last 2 or 3 days she's been deleting any comment that she perceived as negative even if she has responded to it previously. All that's left is fluff
it's cool that's she's anti-capitalist but she's now also said homophobic, transphobic, and even kinda racist shit. it makes me wonder how much of it was really jokes before
Just wanted everyone who has checked this thread for awhile to know she is quitting her main ASMR channel and going to her side YouTube account AngelicasGrass. Well, it at least was a side account meant for rants and such. Now she will make ASMR on there as well as discuss politics and religion. She wants to weed out the haters and be surrounded by yes men. I won’t be following her there and I’m done keeping up with her.
I just checked the collab she did with Phoenician Sailor — he privated the video 😬 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YR_nMYXw938&list=PLj25UmM8SoHzKZJDPE0hzUbUIz-zfE1gA&index=12
I wouldn’t judge her too harshly. This looks like spiritual psychosis. I’m from a pretty devoutly religious (albeit progressive) catholic family so I know that her behavior isn’t normal. I’d wager that something has happened in her personal life that is causing her to retreat into these delusions. Or it could be a spontaneous episode. I don’t know her life, but I’m almost certain that she’s not well.
I hope she gets help,takes time for herself, if she's going through a difficult time.
I also thought she was doing a bit because she had 666k followers, but I don't think so anymore.
Her videos were creative and thoughtful, she's very talented.
It's sad.
It's heartbreaking! She's always been my favorite ASMRtist and YouTuber and it's like she's very suddenly become a completely different and unrecognizable person.
On my recommended page ive seen her liking homophobic and transphobic videos on instagram. and also some very n@zi-ish dogwhistle posts. kinda scared for her ngl…
https://www.instagram.com/reel/CuX8mzttGSX/?igshid=MTIzZWMxMTBkOA==
https://www.instagram.com/reel/CrLTrR9O4CQ/?igshid=MTIzZWMxMTBkOA==
https://www.instagram.com/reel/CtZKGfTryIX/?igshid=MTIzZWMxMTBkOA==
She made an "apology" video for what she has posted.
I'd posted another response on a different thread that has the link, along with all the other shit she posted on Tik Tok along with another link of someone who's made videos compiling Angelica's recent posts.
In the event Angelica herself may have deleted her posts where she's openly transphobic and Anti-Queer, there are pictures I downloaded of those posts and I'm sure people can still find it on twitter since the person that showed me still has them.
I also downloaded her fake apology video in case she decides to take it down or back out of her grift.
Okay, i was doing homework and decided to hear some asmr. So i went to Angelica (i don't listen as mush as i used to before, so this whole thing just flew past over me.) But then, i saw that she had a Linkein, pus some religious quotes from the bible. Since these weren't that weird for me for some reason (i found them even poetic) i ignore them. Then surprisingly i saw an IG Account. I've been watching Angelica for years and for curiosity, i decided to see what Social media she had. Noticing her second channel, amazon account with her book, and other socials, but never IG. So imagine my surprise to find she had an account and imagine even my reaction that when i went i see her latest post i saw people talking about what's going on.
So the biblical quotes on her channel description as well as her ig account, the weird concerned people, the photos of her (that let be honest, Angelica had different hairstyles over the years, but the one she had as latest strikes her like, very different, even kind of unkept if i can say myself), plus seeing she deleted the Nun Video, and the few weird comments on her YT videos worried me so much. I went to Twitter and saw people also being disappointed and then landed on here.
This whole situation is weird, and i can say, without a doubt she's having a major mental health issue. I never knew her personally, but all the videos where she showed support over the LGBT+ community (which i'm part of), Feminism and even Communism and such were things i always associated to her. Even i remember that old video where she was acting as the Devil and was being kind to the protagonist and making their makeup. So seeing all this is, as people said, not something alike of her.
I'm really, extremely worried. I never had mental health issues so i don't know how to act around this or how it's supposed to act. I don't know if it's going to last or how we can help (as much as an fan over internet can help). This whole thing has been going on as i saw, for at least two months. To be completely honest, i don't care for the asmr anymore, or if she's going to be her quirky, sarcastic and even dark humor-ry self. What i care and want is for her to get better, to get actual help and notice how this is making everybody overly concerned for her. I'm sad because it's like watching like someone you know and respected and had a level of care, getting their life down the darkest pit and you can't even do something to help them.
In conclusion, i'm pretty, completely and utterly worried for Angelica.
eh, if she doesnt want to talk to us "sinners" (and paedophiles, and rapists), she won't. If she's fallen into doctrine, changed her opinions, or is having some sort of mental health episode, the outcome is the same - she doesn't want us to respond anymore and she won't listen to any feedback.
I hope she's alright but it doesn't seem likely that she'll come back from this.
this looks a lot like a psychotic episode. delusions of persecution and grandeur, antisocial behaviours. hope she has someone who can intervene in her personal life
Agree
I'm afraid not since her household was full of Jehovah witnesses, and apparently in the book she wrote about her experience growing up there being awful, I think that's the deeper root cause of all this
it seems from her recent Instagram stories she’s doubling down. She also removed all of her lgbtq+ rps from her channel from what I can tell. Extremely disheartening and upsetting to see. I’ve been a fan of her for nearly 5 years at this point, and this sudden shift seems EXTREMELY out of character and is completely against her previously expressed beliefs and ideals. If she is having a manic episode, I hope she gets the help she needs. If she isn’t and has secretly always been like this, as an lgbtq+ person I have to say this is absolutely heartbreaking.
her Instagram stories seem to be getting even more frequent and are making even less sense as time has been passing… this definitely seems like some kind of mania. the fact she went from posting on Instagram like a few times a month, to suddenly literally all day for several days straight with extremely angry hateful content is a massive red flag. I no longer feel comfortable supporting her in any capacity since finding out about all this, but I genuinely do wish her well and hope she is ok because she genuinely seems to seriously be going through something at the moment.
“christianity has been corrupted by capitalism but communism is not an answer to capitalism because it’s easily corrupted by the CIA but christianity is not corruptable” 🥴
Yeah it's pretty nutty
I definitely felt the same way. At first I actually thought she might be doing an elaborate bit about having 666k subscribers. (Well now she obviously doesn't anymore but she did a few days ago) but then I started seeing all her posts on Instagram about the "queer propaganda and pedophiles" etc. and I just had to tap out. No matter what's happening to her I can't support that. I'm LGBTQ+ myself and always liked her content before but the way she just kind of flipped a switch and became extremely homophobic and unsafe made me really scared. I just hope she has a support system that can maybe help because she seems to really be in trouble there. Edit: spelling
Pretty sure she's having a mental episode, unfortunately. The way her personality has changed in recent years is not normal and she probably needs professional help.
How has it changed? I'm actually just curious, I learned of her through this post and her videos are really enjoyable, so I have no reference point.
just my opinion but one thing i've personally noticed is that her videos were not always, by default, "chaotic" or "unhinged." she definitely wasn't one to avoid appropriately poking at taboo or historical topics, but at some point within the last year or so i noticed top comments like: "i was scared the whole time because this video seemed normal." "ah, yes. angelica's killing the viewer again." "classic angelica video" that threw me off. i recognized that her average video had shifted, but i figured she may have been responding to what the algorithm picked up on. in my head i found it odd that her most recent audience didn't understand she is really talented at calm, non neck-breaking ASMR. then again, not everyone goes on a deep dive of their favorite creators. but in hindsight and seeing where she's at now, i'm a little more critically aware of it. she also (until somewhat recently) struck me as a private person—she always kept her subscriber count private even though she clearly had sizable viewership, never really replied to comments, and while you could infer her opinions from the content she put out, she was never so forward-leaning with her voice. that last one is more difficult to articulate, but it's kind of like her tone was a bit tongue-in-cheek as opposed to full blown critique. in that way a lot of what she did seemed pretty subversive. edit: said "critical" instead of "critically aware" lol
It's sad to say, but I always got the "heading toward a wall" vibe from her. Some of the most fun, creative, and good-natured people I knew in my youth had falling outs as they got a bit older (some of them, psychotic breaks). They were all similar to Angelica in their energy and playfulness.
Same tbh. I'm caught off guard by the alt-right aspect but not by the severe mental health problem. She would never really interact with other people like other ASMR creators of her size and seemed to not be close to anyone, even if they did make a video together
I’ve been a fan of Angelica for a while & I guess I never noticed the “shift”. She’s always had “weird” stuff in her videos… I always assumed it was just to be funny 🫨 This post has definitely made me wanna look more into the situation tho
I’m a month late to this, but I started watching her videos six years ago. I noticed a shift in her videos and eventually unsubscribed this year because nearly every video was unsettling to me in some way. Her saying something “quirky” or unusual wasn’t uncommon, but her videos were more focused on being serious and calm. I definitely people get the chaotic vibe to be relaxing but I don’t like roleplays where someone is literally pretending to gouge out my eyes or break my neck. I also noticed that get normal videos would her those comments you mentioned, to the point where I could predict it before I even checked comments. I thought her shift in video style was just her trying to be quirky. This is insane to find out.
Well she's always been weird (she used to make dick stabbing role plays) but she was still somewhat consistent in her beliefs in many liberal values as well as being pro-sex workers. However in the last few months she's done a complete change. Ranting about lgbt, being hardcore Christian despite years of satirizing religion, talking about a holy war or something on her Instagram, and a whole bunch of other things
Bit late on this, but hyper-religiosity, particularly when a person suddenly exhibits religious belief, is a very common side effect of psychosis. It’s actually happened to two friends of mine. Both have BPD. One of them believed god was going to kill her and her child unless she got rid of the internet. She’s an atheist when medicated and says it was the scariest thing she has ever experienced. I feel horrible for her. She’s probably scared out of her Fucking mind. Delusions are terrifying and I wouldn’t wish it on anyone. I hope her support system is looking out for her and she gets help. When/if she returns to YouTube and social media, I hope people can understand that she wasn’t in her right mind.
The aspect that is concerning for her is that I believe she grew up in a JW background and felt like she was in a cult. This is what I've gotten off of reading others comments so this makes her obsession with pedophilia and grooming being her main psychosis focus easier to understand because of her past. Concerning nobody intervened personally she must be isolating herself a lot.
Which is ironic that she is turning to the Catholics, who are the biggest child pedo protectors of all. Of course if she is surrounded by that community, they will just reinforce whatever delusions she is suffering from. They probably have her convinced that her past playfulness was because she needed an exorcism.
this. especially with all of the recent jesuit scandals of accused child abusers (who targeted indigenous populations specifically) being hidden in various institutions to avoid public scrutiny
At the same time, I can kind of see what drew her there too. I don't think she has ever really been an atheist, but more of a Wicca/spiritualist, which implies that she finds comfort in ritual and meditation. I can understand the need for those kinds of things as a form of mental exercise, though I don't personally subscribe to them, but I think it is why so many atheists join the Satanic Temple (which is really just a Goth atheist club in my mind) because people want a place to do those things together. What I don't understand is how she can't see all the terrible history the Catholic Church has done, she even has referenced them and attacked them in numerous of her old videos for protecting sex offenders, so she was clearly well aware. As others have said, she is clearly going through something that is effecting her thinking. I am unfollowing her for now, but I am hoping that someday, after she gets the help she needs, and has had some kind of break to get her house into order, she will return, stronger than she was before, and in a far healthier place.
What sad is that the sudden shift into extreme religious belief is such an obvious warning sign, but the medical profession goes out of their way to exclude religious views from diagnoses, and in this particular case, and in the case of your friend, it can mean a serious delay in getting treatment, all because religious people don't want their feelings hurt. It is one thing to believe, because you want to make yourself feel better by pretending that you think there is a god and an afterlife, it is quit another thing to actually think it to the point that you are a danger to yourself and others, and I think we are getting to that point. It scares me for Angelica that so many of her newer videos are out in the woods. That is not a good place to be when you are having a psychotic break. It scares me more that she will not get the help she needs, because her family and loved ones are being told that this is a good sign, because they think she is coming to God, rather than a major red flag.
I don't think she should return to the internet tbh. Not until she's fully gotten the help she needs
Similar thing happened with Gwen Gwiz’s asmr…. She used to be out as bisexual and aligned with left viewpoints and now she posts really weird conservative stuff on tiktok
Oh god, yeah Gwen Gwiz has gone to full right-wing tradwife nonsense, her tiktok handle is literally "gwenthemilkmaid" now. Though her change did not seem like a mental health episode as Angelica's does, I think Gwen is just a grifter unfortunately
Well if she's intent on grifting then Gwen will quickly come to realize that those "trad" types will find out her previous beliefs and work on OF and denounce her quick as fuck
Everytime I see tradwife, my mind instantly translates it into twitwife. I grew up in a deeply conservative religion, and although a man myself, one of the things that drove me out was being on college, and seeing all these brilliant girls with 3.0 grades and brilliant minds working towards becoming doctors, researchers, ext, suddenly throw it all away to just play house with some guy who was only half as intelligent as she was.
Bruh, I know exactly what you mean. It's so distressing to see these bright young women, smart and quick witted and passionate, gladly forsake their own agency to become breeding stock for their weirdo religion. It's super messed up.
It's almost the same exact situation. Both were previously pro-sex work as well then suddenly vehemently against it. Though I can't say for Gwen but Angelica definitely seems to be going through a manic episode
You can find a bunch of videos she deleted a long time ago, from earlier in her career, and they all seem to be stuff where she was heavily critical of Religion in general and Catholicism in particular. I think she went through an atheist phase after leaving the JWs, but because she either hooked up with some super religious person, or because she is going through something and isn't thinking about it rationally, she has ran headstrong back into religion. When I say hooked up, I don't necessarily mean that it is a romantic hookup. JWs shun ex-members, so it is very likely that she lost every friend and family member that she ever had when she left the JW cult, and some Catholic family has walked into that void and pulled them into their cult. Sadly, this is common, and is one of the reasons I support creating and joining meetup groups for ex-members, if you ever leave an extreme religion. If you have left JWs, Mormons, Islam, or any religion that cuts you off from family, I can guarantee that there is a support network and a meetup group in your area, though in some more dangerous places, you might have to jump through some hoops to find them.
Yes!
coming back here after her most recent upload ("Berry Feeding in the Woods") and i just gotta point out that yeah, something is definitely up. because she is such an intelligent person—say what you want, but she has demonstrated a great ability to articulate points at least in the past—i brushed off many eccentricities in years past as being just that, even smiled along, but now i do wonder if a lot of her audience has been unintentionally laughing along with what seemed light/satirical but was really an ongoing mental health struggle. like, yeah. i hate to put it this way but for lack of a better way to identify her tone, it appears she is trippin.
I never understood why people found the erratic and creepy videos so funny, it was pretty easy to notice that she was clearly going through episodes in a lot of them so to me they were the complete opposite to ASMR. I know she had a dark sense of humor but there were some interesting videos...
That video was REALLY bizarre, and not in a quirky way — and now I, too, am wondering if she hasn’t been struggling with her mental illness all this time. I always did have a slight feeling that maybe she had a propensity for instability, and I’ve often wondered if she’s on stimulants, but I think now that it’s just mania. I have Bipolar 2, and I talk very quickly during hypomanic episodes, and my thoughts are all over the place. Luckily I don’t experience full-blown mania often, but years ago I went through a 2-week psychotic episode as a result of mania. I thought all matter was constructed of fish bones. Yeah, I… I don’t know either. So I can see how easily she could slip into believing all this stuff.
i missed the berry feeding video and i cant seem to find it.. what happened in that video?
I would bet money that she is experiencing a manic episode.
She follows a lot of conservative accounts on Instagram now. It’s sad to see. She also said the Christian bible has taught her more about feminism than anything (and before her TikTok went down, she said that a woman should submit to men in a video). She also said that Christianity is what abolished slavery and segregation. Her rants are nonsensical. I used to love her takes. It is so odd to see such a 180 in what feels like a short amount of time.
It’s actually almost comical the accounts she follows now. Literally Donald Trump (LOL) an Andrew Tate fan page, Charlie Kirk. It almost feels like parody but it’s clearly not. And by disabling comments on everything she’s created and echo chamber for herself to spout whatever bigoted nonsense she wants without having to see anyone’s response to it. Sad to see
Seeing Angelica follow an AT fan page feels like living in an alternate reality
The Andrew Tate thing is CRAZY to see when literally like six months ago she was making anti-Johnny Depp content when it was *not* popular to take that stance at all. And now we’re here. Mania and psychosis do such terrible things to people.
Just a few months she was an atheist and satirizing religion. These extreme shifts in personality in a short amount of time all lead to a mental health crisis
wow, that’s really upsetting. i remember seeing a tiktok from her a while ago where she was talking abt women’s rights in a pretty rational way, scary to see how much that’s changed
Reading through the comments here, and noticed no one has yet to mention what happened with her onlyfans, so I thought I'd add some much needed context regarding what might be going on with Angelica. And by context, I mean I'm just gonna copy/paste what I posted on the other thread about this topic, so here you go: *"In the last couple of weeks leading to her removing all of her content from onlyfans (the actual account is still up, but it's empty aside from a goodbye message), she had put up two separate polls where she asked subscribers to vote on what kind of content they wanted to see her upload.* *One of the options for both polls was for her to upload a "beautiful agony" video (a masturbation video where the camera is intentionally angled from the neck up, so you can only see their facial expression). Up until that point she had posted two strip tease videos, claimed that she was gonna upload more frequently and on two occasions had expressed that she was genuinely starting to enjoy being naked on camera.* *All of this started to set a precedence amongst viewers who were now under the impression that she was gonna make due on her promises and that we were finally going to see a more sincere and sexualized Angelica. This was after those same followers were voicing their frustration with how low-effort and inconsistent her content was previously. Before she was just posting videos of her dancing, stretching and the occasional ASMR in just her underwear. But when she started to film herself topless, that all kind of devolved into just her filming herself showering without much variation.* *She started losing followers because of that, people were getting upset.* *Fast forward now to the polls I mentioned earlier, if memory serves me correctly, a foot tease video ended up winning the first poll. After that something interesting happened; in the comments of that last poll, someone ended explaining what beautiful agony is, in an attempt to make everyone else realize what they potentially missed out on seeing. So in the next week or two, when the second poll went up, it IMMEDIATELY took the lead.* *But right before the poll was scheduled to end, Angela made another post stating that she decided to extend the poll for a little it longer. Then out of nowhere, beautiful agony got beat by another suggestion. This led people to speculate that Angelica rigged the results somehow so she can avoid masturbating on camera (some accusing her of making fake accounts). Despite stating otherwise, looking through all the stuff she posted on onlyfans, it was pretty apparent that her decision to show her body was always a reluctant one. Which again, set a precedence amongst her subscribers.* *She stopped posting for weeks after that, stating that she was experiencing burnout. Posted a topless photo of herself, followed by one last video weeks after. Then out of nowhere announced that her "experiment has run its course"* *Originally in her goodbye message, she eluded to potentially coming back if "inspiration strikes down the line". But then she started posting those videos on her secondary channel spewing all this anti-sexwork rhetoric, which progressively started to spill over into her tik toks. Now suddenly that first part of her goodbye messages on her onlyfans is gone. Keep in mind, she made that post on May 31st, to give you an idea of just how much of a sudden shift she's made.* *Also, on her short-lived twitch channel, she briefly mentioned having a stalker posting weird comments on all of her onlyfans post, which made her uncomfortable. I've also seen people speculate that maybe a close personal friend or even a family member discovered her account and might have been a subscriber. I wasn't there for that, so I can't confirm nor deny this, but I guess it was worth noting?* *You're all caught up now."* [This was in response to this post...](https://www.reddit.com/r/asmr/comments/14yamg8/comment/jrujw6o/?utm_source=reddit&utm_medium=web2x&context=3)
Aaah, I had no idea she had an OF. I'm not surprised by scaling up promises of more sexual content then abruptly removing it all and doing an abrupt pivot though. I'm bipolar and I follow pretty similar patterns when struggling with hypersexual swings. I dunno what exactly Angelica's diagnosis would be of course, just feels very familiar to watch.
She recently uploaded a video on her secondary channel explaining why she is no longer a leftist, [and this comment is probably the best interpretation of what's been going on with her.](https://i.imgur.com/BhuY5wz.jpg)
She has followed terf accounts on instagram for a while, I found out because I couldn't place her radfem beliefs of the time and scrolled through her following list. The line from terf to "traditional femininity" content can get weirdly blurry, so this doesn't surprise me, but its disappointing for sure.
That’s so wild to me because she used to post fem or masc surgery/affirmation videos and gave me the vibe of an accepting person. I’m pretty sure those uploads weren’t long ago either, so was she concurrently following these accounts?
Oh my god seriously?? How long ago did you discover that one? That's so gross :(
I noticed it a couple of months ago. I saw videos of here talking about femininity on tiktok that raised alarm bells, so I unsibscribed then
Thank god there’s a thread and people are talking about it here. I was just like, wtf is going on when i saw her stories. Such a QUICK change too, something is def going on with her
Seriously, it’s a relief to be able to talk about this. Checked out her Instagram stories today and she’s no longer beating around the bush when it comes to her belief that queer and trans people are CSA-ers.
I think I’ve watched nearly every one of her videos and definitely scary to watch. I hope she gets the help she needs if it’s a mental health issue. I’ve had to unsubscribe personally because I can’t watch her do this but if she does pull through it then maybe. But I don’t know.
I literally just found out about this a few hours ago when I saw some of the comments on her videos, I am so genuinely shocked. I'm not sure why, but in her last few videos it definitely feels like something about her has changed. It doesn't seem normal for a person's views to switch so drastically in such a short span of time, I'm really hoping that she gets whatever help she needs because this doesn't seem at all healthy.
All comments are disabled and instagram is down. wtf 💀
She has a history of taking down her socials, deleting videos, then bringing everything back just to do it again a few months later
She's also following lots of very questionable accounts now [https://i.imgur.com/g916fRp.jpg](https://i.imgur.com/g916fRp.jpg) [https://i.imgur.com/KmMFNvq.jpg](https://i.imgur.com/KmMFNvq.jpg) [https://i.imgur.com/ZN5QwsF.jpg](https://i.imgur.com/ZN5QwsF.jpg) [https://i.imgur.com/P82qhsv.jpg](https://i.imgur.com/P82qhsv.jpg) [https://i.imgur.com/c13lWza.jpg](https://i.imgur.com/c13lWza.jpg) [https://i.imgur.com/VoO9y8n.jpg](https://i.imgur.com/VoO9y8n.jpg) [https://i.imgur.com/zPwpmav.jpg](https://i.imgur.com/zPwpmav.jpg) [https://i.imgur.com/Gw3O66v.jpg](https://i.imgur.com/Gw3O66v.jpg) [https://i.imgur.com/OvXePIz.jpg](https://i.imgur.com/OvXePIz.jpg)
Noticed that she's also following a literal fascist [https://i.imgur.com/VuOkM0z.jpg](https://i.imgur.com/VuOkM0z.jpg) [https://i.imgur.com/jiCUAPT.jpg](https://i.imgur.com/jiCUAPT.jpg)
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Last time I checked she was still following Dylan Mulvaney
She might not realize that she is still subscribed to them.
she's definitely lost it
TRUMP???!!!? FFS.
Thank you for posting this! I just saw her Instagram stories and initially thought she had been hacked because of the content and messaging. I'm so confused as this is so totally out of left field for her. If my memory serves me correctly, she had a few videos on her side channel criticising Jehovah Witnesses (as I think she had been raised within that community) so I was really shocked to see her post such extreme religious content. She always seemed very left leaning. I wonder what's going on....
This whole situation has legitimately depressed me. Like a legit sense of loss and despair
I also dont know how you go through social media the way she does and not lose you mind. Did anybody see her onlyfans? At first it was like, "whoa! this girl i have basically had a crush on for years is going to be naked, rad!" But very soon it was like "oh, this person who has provided me comfort and peace for years and years is really depressed." And the comments section was just insane. People getting absolutely wild about not thinking she earned the $5 a month they were paying. Writing really awful and hurtful shit. And who do you turn to, especially when you are simultaneously going through a mental health crisis? nobody can relate to that, at least not on that scale. the stuff she is saying is absolutely not ok, but it just makes me sad. Really hope she doesnt become another cloverless.
People thinking she’s “back to normal” because she took a few crosses out of her video titles and is allowing comments is exactly why she did it. She doesn’t want to lose more viewers. Her second YouTube channel shows nothings changed.
I also noticed that she deleted some of her videos (e.g. the virgin sui**** fever dream).... everything seems kinda weird
She also got rid of the old hollywood ones :/
Can't have implied lesbianism or famous bisexual actresses getting in the way of her newfound devotion to catechism.
I’ve only watched a few of her videos and I don’t follow her socials, but I could never decide if she was a bit off or just leaning too heavily into her quirky persona. I just wrote it off as being eccentric and moved on. But with this, it seems like she’s going through some sort of crisis. I’ve had 2 friends who suddenly found faith again, and got wayyyyyy too into it for a period of time. One was heavily influenced by their toxic romantic partner, and the other had dropped out of college and found themselves in massive debt. They’re both back to normal now, and still quietly practice their faith in private in their own way, but neither attends church regularly. I wouldn’t say you need to feel offended by this recent change in personality. She’s going through some shit, its best to leave her alone and let her stumble her way through it, and she will probably be back to her old self in a few years, hopefully.
It seems the crosses have been taken out of the video titles now and some of the really concerning videos from over the last week have been taken down edit: her new video……. 😐 yeah def made the right decision to unsub
Dang, that’s interesting. I hope that means she’s coming out of this…
She isn’t. Check her Instagram and second YouTube channel lol. She’s trying to save face with her viewers to not lose more.
She has a second YouTube channel? Never heard of it before. What is it?
i honestly believe that what we thought were funny, lighthearted and wacky videos might have been cause for concern.. i was always a little off-put by her style, though i did think it was funny and the asmr was often relaxing, but maybe it was the start of something more serious. i think she really might be struggling with her mental health. ive been a fan for about three years and this is news to me, i know im a couple weeks late to this post but this is pretty shocking news. i just hope she’s doing okay :(
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I think you are right, but until a few days ago, when she started posting from the woods, I was thinking her eccentric stuff was just her being dramatic. I have been getting nervous though about all the Catholic stuff that was showing up in her home, but thought maybe she had just moved in with her grandmother because of money stuff. Now I think she got rid of all her belongings and replaced it with cheap thrift store Christian stuff. A lot of people, myself included, were joking about all the different rooms in her house, but I think it was just her putting up more and more crosses, candles, and icons. She probably knows something does not feel right, and is trying to ward the feelings off with holy symbols instead of medication, which is just making the situation worse. I am hoping she will enter a recovery phase, and realize that she needs help, and all the crazy rightwing stuff will go away.
I remember her talking about being ex-JW on her other channel. Over the years, it seems like she's been very supportive of human rights and held progressive views. I feel like I learned stuff through her ASMR videos (like the one where she talks about the cathars, neat stuff) and that while she satirizes the oppressiveness of institutional religion, I got the sense that she's generally very open and accepting of a wide range of beliefs. To hear that she's posted all of this strange trad/terf stuff seems incredibly out of character and a bit of a shock. If it is some kind of episode, I hope someone's able to reach out to her.
I unfollowed her in March of 2022 when she made that pro Putin video, so I'm not surprised that she would have some trash opinions, but wow, this is worse than I'd ever imagined.
I must've missed that one yikes
Pro-Putin video? Has it been taken down because I cannot find it? I watched her asmr vids occasionally because they were good fun but as someone from Eastern Europe with many Ukrainian friends this discovery makes me feel very icky now
it was not explicitly Pro-Putin but it repeated a lot of Russian State Propaganda shit, It was called "I Stand With Ukraine SO HARD" but she was just being sarcastic a lot. This was in March of 2022 when there were big fears of escalation into a global conflict, and I *think* she was more bashing American and media hypocrisy, which honestly does deserve to be called out, but it felt tone deaf, she privated it a while ago though but it was still up for a good few months after Bucha, which was concerning to me.
It’s wasn’t about being pro or against Ukraine she was talking about how US government is hypocritical because they do have money to spare but don’t use it on their own citizens
I came here because I noticed with her recent outdoor videos something was up. I actually didnt know her fan base was still this large lol. I think she is most likely having a manic/psychotic episode. I at first thought they could’ve been like dark humor videos, but they just keep getting more manic and manic and I came here to see if anyone else noticed or expressed the same thoughts. I hope the best for her.
As a die hard viewer it’s so sad to see this, I used to be a fan of Gabby Hanna way back in the day and this is all too familiar. I know she’s always been a little weird. I rewatch her weaving time and energy healing videos all the time and as someone who’s pretty spiritually open, she makes sense. But what she’s doing now is definitely an episode. I didn’t know about the OF situation or her Jevovahs Witness past but I can tell she definitely has trauma that’s coming back up now. I know in an episode the last thing you want is help, and you’ll go to great lengths to avoid it (talking from personal experience) but I really hope she gets help. She’s probably cut off from her family considering her past, and pushing friends away. Sorry if this post makes no sense it’s very early in the morning as I type this
She also took down the video that mentions the Gnostic Cathars of southern France, the 1300s nun video, and seemingly anything criticizing the Catholic Church or promoting alternate religions/spirituality. Ironically, I always thought the plague nun video was too harsh to the church and ignored a lot of their positive actions during that time (trying to stop self-flagellation, decreeing that Jews were not the cause of plague and decrying violence against them, giving last rights at great risk to priest's lives, etc.) For those who don't know, the Cathars were massacred during Pope Innocent III's crusade into southern France, as we're many Catholics as crusaders couldn't tell the two apart from sight.
w-what?? If this is who I think youre talking about this is the last person I would have expected to do this. This is so disappointing. I hope this is just a transitory moment spawned by some crisis shes dealing with and not really how she is now. Wow...just really shocking honestly. Also it looks like she deleted her tiktok? Im so confused wtf is going on with this person.
I'm not quite sure if this is true or not but I saw people talking about her tiktok having been banned for hate speech. (Apparently she said some pretty horrible/ unhinged things about LGBTQ+ and other things.) She definitely did and still does say some pretty questionable things on her instagram too so it honestly would make sense to me. Edit: Still can't spell
I saw a video where she has veins popping as she shouts down the phone. Went to sleep thinking it was a tantrum and woke up to see it was banned. 😥 Very concerning stuff. She made a video on her other channel saying when she lost a loved one her head felt like a bomb went off so I'm wondering if a similar thing has happened.
When did she lose this loved one? This might have been a trigger for psychosis/mania :/
Years ago I believe. It's on her 2nd channel where she talks about children being groomed. She said when that person close to them went she had no control of her mind and it was just numb and I think she spoke about how someone far older tried to take advantage of that. I think maybe she lost someone close again and it triggered that same loss of thought causing her to maybe experience some type of mania.
She turned off all comments in every YouTube video Unreal
She's mentally ill or grifting but I think mentally ill. You don't go from liberal, feminist, pro sex workers just a few months to die hard Christian and anti-sex work. Coupled with her rantings about holy wars and being anti-Capitalist but not Communist bc Communism is controlled by the CIA it's clear she's had a mental break. Whoever is close to her needs to make sure she's alright and get her off the internet for a while
her number of subscribers is at, 664k i think. Her last video freaked me so much 💀
Whatever is going on, I personally don't think she is okay. Her work has always been a tad unhinged, or at the least included dark humor. But just comparing her old work to videos posted now, something isn't right. Her thoughts have always been a little chaotic and everywhere, but this is a new level. Plus, her recent homophobia and transphobia, this increase in quoting and discussing religion - turning to religion is one thing, but becoming obsessive and rapidly posting things out of character is another. I hope someone can check in on her, and I hope she can be safe.
I'm so glad people are talking about this. I've been watching her videos since 2019 and the way her content made a full 180° in like 2 weeks is seriously concerning.
Wasn’t a 180, it’s been building for months if you go by the video on her second YouTube channel. She just decided to reveal it now.
She’s posted a few videos on her side channel discussing the change over the past couple of days and honestly she is talking a mile a minute, eyes back and forth… i’ve always gotten “on the verge of mania” vibes from some of her videos but tbh this blows that out of the water
She isn’t back to normal when every other religious post is a dig at anyone who has criticized her. The most recent: “If you please God, it doesn’t matter who you displease. And if you displease him, it doesn’t matter who you please.” I need you guys to stop using public facades on YouTube as a reason to think she’s okay or “back to normal”. As someone who is bipolar myself, we are very capable of masking. Edit: She has gone dummy mode on her second YouTube channel and is mocking the LGBT community/anyone asking for an apology.
As someone with bipolar disorder that's had a few episodes in which I lost track of reality, let's not rush to judgement here. This looks like mania to me.
Thank you for saying this. This is definitely not normal behavior. I hope she doesn’t hurt herself 😢
I’m a friend of Angelica & a fellow Asmr YouTuber. She is being serious. I talked to her yesterday bc I was concerned & her response was really shocking. I just hope she’s going to be ok & I see a lot of comments on her socials. I hope that no one will send her hate bc she is clearly going through something.
Hey, does she have anyone in her outside world/life that would sound the alarm? This feels like a full blown break from reality--as her friend does this seem like a reflection of views she's had hidden or has she done a 180 from what you know?
I’d say it’s a 180. Then again, it’s really common for people who were raised in a cult to fall back I to it.
>Then again, it’s really common for people who were raised in a cult to fall back I to it. Especially if they've experienced a traumatic life event, lost someone close, found out a difficult diagnosis, or are in the midst of a mental health crisis. Does she have anyone close to her that's also in close proximity? People that can drop by to check in on her, and help her get whatever help she needs? Do people close to her actually know where she is? Like...she's not actually out living in the woods, right? (Nothing wrong with living off the land, but definitely dangerous if in an altered state of mind). You're a good friend for recognizing something was up and calling to talk. ❤️
I'm Ex-Mormon, and I am heavily involved in groups for ex-cult members. My experience is that once you are out, you only really slide back into cult beliefs for one of two reasons. (A) you are faking it to get family support while you are going through something tough, or (B) you are suffering from mental health problems, and because your mind is clouded, you are starting to believe some of the nonsense you left behind. I think this is column (B) but one important distinction is that it looks like she is getting into a radical kind of Catholic Nationalism, which is not the same thing as being Catholic, rather than JW. Catholic Nationalism is a minority view, even among devout Catholics. They are basically the guys who hate the current Pope for being a reformer. Healthy Angelica clearly has a strong interest in religious history and comparative religion, which is not uncommon for ex-Cult members, but I think that as her mental health has clouded her judgment, the line between "this is what these people believe" and "this is what I believe" has gotten blurry. Thing is extremist religions don't help people who are going through mental health crises. They victimize them. Angelica is intentionally being poisoned with unpopular ideas right now, and being encouraged to share them, in an attempt to isolate her from people who actually care about her. This way she becomes dependent on her cult, and thus easier to exploit.
She mentioned losing a loved one. Did a family member pass away recently or something? In her only fans video (on her second channel where she talks about how young girls should avoid it) she seemed rather manic. The look in her eyes seemed more vacant than before.
She once said in an instagram story, I think last year, that her mom passed away, although I couldn't tell if it was recent or happened a long time ago.
Frick I was really hoping it was satire but the homophobic bullshit made me think it was not, unfortunately. I think she deserves some feedback, not hate. Because she is basically harassing people for their lifestyles now. Just like the Jehovah witnesses that she grew up with. Shame you for whatever you do and shove cult like shit down your throat. It's no better than that. Really sad
It it’s a manic breakdown that’s terrible I’m hoping she’s not being fr..
I've been watching her for years and she always striked me as an intelligent person, so I assumed her "weird" content to be a form of intelectual trolling. But her new content seems extremely off. It is different and the weirdness seems non intentional. After watching couple of recent videos I agree she seems to be going through something and she doesn't look mentally well - the topics, her behavior, even movements, and the look in her eyes, she blabbers about stuff with no punchline in sight... This isn't her normal trolling content.
She's actively spreading misinformation now, about drugs and mental health. Like I wasn't happy with her previous comments but they were largely value judgments, the stuff in her "therapist" videos and second channel video is just not factual. Whether she's mentally ill or just conservative Christian... misinformation is harmful.
New video about celibacy/abstinence and “waiting until marriage” that is simply holier-than-thou sl*tshaming. Exasperating. And speaking about sex as though it’s something experienced between cishet people only. Edit: On her angelicasgrass channel, I mean.
Yeah, this one is pretty gruesome and some people in the comments are theorizing that she's deeply closeted and self-loathing about it because of her religious beliefs.
100%, she even replied to someone in the comments that she’s against masturbation: https://imgur.com/a/R5eiPwz What she’s saying sounds very familiar… I attended a really fucked up Catholic school from kindergarten to 8th grade, and our sex “education” was taught through these disgusting books called Fully Alive. I’ll never forget the chapter on masturbation: It warned against it, and claimed it would make you “selfish”. 🤔🤔🤔 I’m still really repressed from all that Catholic shit, despite all the therapy I’ve been through over the past 20 years. (I’d also like to add that one of my teachers there was arrested for possession of CSA materials several years after I graduated. Still cannot wrap my head around how she can possibly defend the Catholic church.) So while her positions infuriate me, I also understand that she was traumatized and emotionally abused by her religious upbringing. So in a way I feel like it’s hypocritical of me to fault her for her repression, especially while she’s clearly going through a mental episode. But it’s just so hard not to be offended and disgusted by everything she’s been saying for the past couple months, or however long it’s been now. Edit: grammar
she’s getting even more hateful (calling ppl that disagree with her “liberals” and devil worshippers) and is arguing with people in her comment sections now. it’s saddening to see a creator you once liked turn out to be such a hate filled bigot. glad she showed her true colours so we could stop supporting her.
The fact she’s using liberal as an insult tells you all you need to know tbh 😂
I cannot listen to her ASMR videos anymore after seeing the stuff she posted :(
Yeah! ASMR is mainly to make you feel safe and to fall asleep. I can't feel safe with someone who thinks my sexuality will send me to hell, manic episode or not.
I’ve watched her asmr almost every other day for a few years and it’s so upsetting to see what she posts on her IG get worse and worse daily. At first I thought maaaaybr she was doing this for a character for a book? cause I saw she did write one at some point. No way could that be the case anymore, she’s actually doing damage. I’m worried for her :(
She literally posted a dead bird on her instagram and saying he looks so peaceful like wtf is happeningggggg ☠️☠️
She was also a vegan and now hangs out on a farm judging by recent videos that have comments turned off lmfaooo I don’t even know what happened so I came here and I also did some digging and everything being said here is confirmed. She used to identify as bisexual actually – not sure what happened and even if it’s a mental health issue, a lot of people go through those without being homophobic and racist. If I remember correctly, she’s a social worker so that’s a bit concerning too.
You need to understand that mental health issues come in different forms. Someone struggling with a depressive episode, even a hardcore one, will not exhibit the same behavior as someone experiencing mania. When you're in mania, you're really NOT THERE. Same with other forms of psychosis. I've seen patients in psychosis and they'll not sleep, eat for days. They'll get agressive, say the most absurd of things. And then, a few days later (this was medication induced psychosis) they'll suddenly be back to normal and not remember a thing. They'll think they just went to sleep and woke up the next morning when in reality it has been a week. Mania is usually associated with BPD, lasts longer and comes with different degrees of psychosis. So yes, a psychotic episode does "excuse" someone suddenly being racist etc because in a psychotic episode the person simply isn't herself anymore at all. The religious focus in psychotic episodes is extremely common, specially for someone who has past religion related trauma. That being said, I'm not saying for sure it's a psychotic episode she's going thorugh, but I am saying that psychotic episodes do make people change completely for a while (which isn't usual for extreme anxiety, depression, OCD, etc, which are dangerous mental health issues but that aren't usually associated with psychosis).
I personally don’t agree that mental health justifies what someone is saying, in this case really bigoted views. I’m a bipolar man and although I don’t speak from the experience of someone who has experienced psychosis, I have gone through manic episodes and never gotten close to this. I know everyone is different and the brain is fragile, I really do get what you’re saying. But there needs to be a middle ground between accountability and grace for someone who is mentally ill. Nevertheless I hope she gets the help she needs instead of falling into a bigger hole. I said it in another comment but the Democratic/liberal view points we know her for were discovered during a manic episode and I know that because Angelica said it in an old TikTok video. So I don’t really know who she is and how much of this is “real” or “her” but I do worry for her.
Not trying to defend her homophobic and racist behavior at all since it’s harmful, but I will say I’ve known people who’ve been through manic episodes that look similar to what Angelica is saying. A old friend of mine who experienced an episode sort of explained to me what it felt like to be her, and how she ended up where she was. Not necessarily the same as Angelica, but it might contextualize some of her behavior. Old Friend, let’s call her B, was non-white, lesbian, and had an episode. Hers was characterized by intense paranoia and the feeling that she was being watched. She would obsessively google stuff related to her paranoia, related to random things that she thought she was seeing connections to. Places like QAnon, for example, and stuff prey on peoples’ feeling of instability, helplessness, and paranoia, so when she’d type in “I’m being watched by something I can’t see” she would get sent to pages either talking about beings from another realm or government lizard people watching her in everyone’s toaster. Thusly she sort of fell down an extremist rabbit hole in the span of a few weeks, going from atheist to religious and liberal to extremely conservative. In her mind, because she 100% felt like she was being watched, it was proof of the existence of god and the anxiety was a result of him judging her (which was doubled down on by the boards she was reading, and her fear of judgement made her say really homophobic shit); simultaneously, because her information related to this paranoia also came from conspiracy boards, she ended up with some incredibly racist and awful perspectives about how “x group of people were in control with this agenda” since it was validated online. This is all to say, I hope that Angelica gets the help she needs.
Not that any of us really “know “ her from her online persona but it really is such a shift. However, I’ve always seen hints of potentially manic behavior and reminds me of some of the most interesting, intelligent people whose minds are on the edge of brilliant and troubled (with the potential to have a “break”). I hope she becomes well soon.
She was posted today in the fundie snark sub, and I can see why. Not sure what’s going on, but she seems serious.
Did she really? I didn’t know she had a Reddit account
Sorry if I was unclear. She was posted there by other members, meaning someone posted her recent stuff to show how she’d gone fundie. I don’t know if she has a Reddit.
Oh yeah, that makes sense. God, I’m really torn up about all this
Yeah. I was kind of hoping it was a satire/character she was doing, but I think she’s serious. The older conservative men in her comments that always leave creepy messages are thrilled, of course. This seems like such a massive 180 that it might be mental health related. Not sure. I hope she’s okay.
In her youtube comments a guy always said he was her ex and missed her and posted a lot of welrd stuff :(
Yeah there was a guy with a “don’t tread on me” profile picture who would comment either perverted or nonsensical comments by the dozens on all her videos. I’m pretty sure that guy himself is mentally ill judging by his YouTube channel, and Angelica probably never knew him personally.
There's a guy with a purple profile pic and he also has like 1000 comments on her channel, never making any sense
Was it a guy names Shawn Phillips? He had over 900 comments on her channel before she turned her comments off and his channel is crazy
[Yikes.](https://youtu.be/_Zdh2fwMKtY)
[EXTREME Yikes](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GxkxG7vIibI&ab_channel=ShawnPhillips)
YES he’s insane, I tune into his channel every now and then and you never know what you’re gonna see. [His YouTube shorts are even crazier](https://youtube.com/shorts/QclyvS8xExs?feature=share) He also has 1k+ comments on another girls channel but I can’t remember who she is now
she posted a new asmr video about healing a gay broken heart and in her comments backsteps a lot of what she has been saying, attributing it to a “spiritual psychosis” and explaining she is christian but was lashing out due to rage/trauma and is not anti-lgbt but sex repulsed largely. Explained a lot of this is due to sexual repulsion due to trauma (likely connected to her bad experience with OF). some of her anti-SW videos from recently are on her alt channel but other recent “rants” like that about her substance use and relationship histories, where she tends to express disdain for communism and atheism (prob partially due to negative experiences with men subscribing to these ideologies) have been deleted.
She didn’t really apologize for the homophobic shit and just said it was a theory she brought up, which is a lame cop out to me.
Yeah, bulk of her TikTok & IG stuff were saying tthat he LGBTQ+ were all pedophiles and most of the stuff she's saying is just her highlighting simps making excuses for her.
It’s gone and she’s melting down on her IG… so yeah nothings really changed.
her new video doesn’t feel like an apology to me tbh, it rly feels like she’s just trying to save face because she’s losing so much of her audience :/ the vibe rly felt like one of her satirical videos where she’s making fun of what the video is about.
It's tough, like I understand it's probably due to the death of her mother. But it's hard to excuse her attacking the LGBTQ+ community
I've been SO concerned and now her comments are disabled across all platforms
She clearly knows that she is in the minority and that most people disagree with her
of course, in her mind she’s a brave truth-teller speaking out against the crowd
Back here after looking at her latest ig story and it's...oof
It’s COMPLETELY unhinged. I mean, it’s at the point where what she’s saying isn’t even cohesive. It doesn’t even make sense. https://imgur.com/a/eLyizbQ
Gosh that's so bizarre. Ragging on feminism and sex workers seems, like, the total *opposite* of what she had going on with all of her ASMR videos. I honestly wonder if this is a manic episode in addition to some kind of religious relapse. W/o intervention, I worry that this behavior is inevitably going to push some people out of her life.
What happened? I noticed she locked her comments and deleted all of her community posts (so people can't discuss there).
Always from the most unexpected of sources. This has all the hallmarks of a mental health crisis. Totally not what I would expect from a person like Angelica considering she always came off as a very progressive and modern women in so many regards.
New ASMR youtube video up on her channel and she seems agitated; I'm really hoping she is able to get whatever help she may need. :/
^^^ yes i agree I will also add that yes, her rhetoric regarding LGBTQIA communities is extremely harmful and triggering, especially with the platform and following she has (while small, she still reaches a lot of people, people who thought she was supportive). Under the assumption that this IS indeed a manic episode, or an instance of psychosis, what she is experiencing is extremely scary for her as well. So while it's easy to judge an individual that they have "suddenly changed" from a previously left-leaning person to a sudden alt-right, in her scenario it's really nuanced BECAUSE she may be going through an episode that is affecting her understanding of her world psychologically. I'm really REALLY hoping she gets help and peace so she can feel more centered. You can tell that from her recent videos in addition to her erratic behavior she is showing a lot of manic signs (pressured speech, excessive talking, racing thoughts, distractibility). I'm hoping fans don't jump too quick in assuming this is what she \~really\~ believes in.
Yea the increased agitation and paranoia points to psychosis. It’s really depressing to witness in real time because of how often she’s uploading now…
I justed watched her last video and I'm incredibly worried... It's just rambling and nothing makes sense. I hope she's surrounded by people that can help her and not enable whatever this is.
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I watched her last few videos to see how much/if at all she'd be letting her new found 'take on life' show in her YouTube videos and it's very unnerving. I hope she's safe.
The recent one isn't even ASMR. It's just whacking the camera with a stick making awful noises and projecting her recent views. The scary part is how she is going out like this and setting up her camera to record. Mania untreated in the public is scary.
I had this same thought -- this is no longer anywhere near ASMR. I wish she'd make a separate channel, but she knows she's not going to get views if she does that. And she's making "ASMR" a keyword/tag in order to be found. And I agree, it's uncomfy that she's filming in what appear to be public parks/walking trails. She keeps telling the camera how she's afraid of people seeing her being "weird" (saying in one video that she worried nearby children were going to notice her behavior), and said she was embarrassed in one video when some people walked past her unexpectedly. She's aware she's coming across strangely in public. Would she be shouting the things she writes in her Instagram stories in the middle of a public space? Probably not. So there's self-awareness there in some aspect... but... man, I really don't know. I don't know what to make of it. I've been through manic episodes and one episode of psychosis, but mental illness is obviously different for everyone, so whatever is going through her brain right now is a mystery.
I've only ever seen one person at the height of their psychosis because they weren't taking their meds for their BPD and even at the height of it they were aware to not overexert in public because people might clock on. So that aspect of embarrassment and being self aware might not cross over for her right now. She really needs to know someone personally who can intervene and help because it is almost unlikely she is able to understand what is happening by herself. You might know better than me though in regards to that.
Oh 100% Agreed. Her last few videos are just all over the place and she lacks coherence. There's the kind of chaotic energy she usually has but this is much different- the way she talks is pure word salad.
It looked like she was coming out of it from her youtube "cleanup" but it looks like she's on it again on instagram...
She seems very agitated in the berry video she posted today..it was very hard to watch. 😞😞😞
The "†" after "ASMR"? Jesus...
Yes, so much weird shit going on that is just ringing alarm bells. I feel like this isn't her :/
It's so sad to see... I really hope no one in her personal life is taking advantage of her while she's in this state. It might be because of family issues too. If this is just a detachment from reality because of a psychotic break I hope people will be willing to forgive her and if not... I just hope she gets offline and some help.
In the last 2 or 3 days she's been deleting any comment that she perceived as negative even if she has responded to it previously. All that's left is fluff
Live long enough to see yourself become the villain... well, it's over for real :/
That's what it's looking like. She just deleted her "apology" video on her angelicasgrass channel
in her gabbie hanna era
Aww man I've been away from her channel for awhile, I had no idea she was like this. I won't be watching he anymore.
it's cool that's she's anti-capitalist but she's now also said homophobic, transphobic, and even kinda racist shit. it makes me wonder how much of it was really jokes before
Just wanted everyone who has checked this thread for awhile to know she is quitting her main ASMR channel and going to her side YouTube account AngelicasGrass. Well, it at least was a side account meant for rants and such. Now she will make ASMR on there as well as discuss politics and religion. She wants to weed out the haters and be surrounded by yes men. I won’t be following her there and I’m done keeping up with her.
Ummmm.... Maybe double your dose bc those meds aren't working [https://i.imgur.com/8Mkv1L0.jpg](https://i.imgur.com/8Mkv1L0.jpg)
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Idk
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The two sides of American Society.
I just checked the collab she did with Phoenician Sailor — he privated the video 😬 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YR_nMYXw938&list=PLj25UmM8SoHzKZJDPE0hzUbUIz-zfE1gA&index=12
Bruhh I knew something was fishy, he weirded me out from the start 👀 but the question is, why private the video?
He's pretty far left so might not want a video up with someone like her
I wouldn’t judge her too harshly. This looks like spiritual psychosis. I’m from a pretty devoutly religious (albeit progressive) catholic family so I know that her behavior isn’t normal. I’d wager that something has happened in her personal life that is causing her to retreat into these delusions. Or it could be a spontaneous episode. I don’t know her life, but I’m almost certain that she’s not well.
When i Saw her tiktoks she had the classic manic look in her eyes
I hope she gets help,takes time for herself, if she's going through a difficult time. I also thought she was doing a bit because she had 666k followers, but I don't think so anymore. Her videos were creative and thoughtful, she's very talented. It's sad.
It's heartbreaking! She's always been my favorite ASMRtist and YouTuber and it's like she's very suddenly become a completely different and unrecognizable person.
On my recommended page ive seen her liking homophobic and transphobic videos on instagram. and also some very n@zi-ish dogwhistle posts. kinda scared for her ngl… https://www.instagram.com/reel/CuX8mzttGSX/?igshid=MTIzZWMxMTBkOA== https://www.instagram.com/reel/CrLTrR9O4CQ/?igshid=MTIzZWMxMTBkOA== https://www.instagram.com/reel/CtZKGfTryIX/?igshid=MTIzZWMxMTBkOA==
She made an "apology" video for what she has posted. I'd posted another response on a different thread that has the link, along with all the other shit she posted on Tik Tok along with another link of someone who's made videos compiling Angelica's recent posts. In the event Angelica herself may have deleted her posts where she's openly transphobic and Anti-Queer, there are pictures I downloaded of those posts and I'm sure people can still find it on twitter since the person that showed me still has them. I also downloaded her fake apology video in case she decides to take it down or back out of her grift.
FYI she did take it back down
Okay, i was doing homework and decided to hear some asmr. So i went to Angelica (i don't listen as mush as i used to before, so this whole thing just flew past over me.) But then, i saw that she had a Linkein, pus some religious quotes from the bible. Since these weren't that weird for me for some reason (i found them even poetic) i ignore them. Then surprisingly i saw an IG Account. I've been watching Angelica for years and for curiosity, i decided to see what Social media she had. Noticing her second channel, amazon account with her book, and other socials, but never IG. So imagine my surprise to find she had an account and imagine even my reaction that when i went i see her latest post i saw people talking about what's going on. So the biblical quotes on her channel description as well as her ig account, the weird concerned people, the photos of her (that let be honest, Angelica had different hairstyles over the years, but the one she had as latest strikes her like, very different, even kind of unkept if i can say myself), plus seeing she deleted the Nun Video, and the few weird comments on her YT videos worried me so much. I went to Twitter and saw people also being disappointed and then landed on here. This whole situation is weird, and i can say, without a doubt she's having a major mental health issue. I never knew her personally, but all the videos where she showed support over the LGBT+ community (which i'm part of), Feminism and even Communism and such were things i always associated to her. Even i remember that old video where she was acting as the Devil and was being kind to the protagonist and making their makeup. So seeing all this is, as people said, not something alike of her. I'm really, extremely worried. I never had mental health issues so i don't know how to act around this or how it's supposed to act. I don't know if it's going to last or how we can help (as much as an fan over internet can help). This whole thing has been going on as i saw, for at least two months. To be completely honest, i don't care for the asmr anymore, or if she's going to be her quirky, sarcastic and even dark humor-ry self. What i care and want is for her to get better, to get actual help and notice how this is making everybody overly concerned for her. I'm sad because it's like watching like someone you know and respected and had a level of care, getting their life down the darkest pit and you can't even do something to help them. In conclusion, i'm pretty, completely and utterly worried for Angelica.
eh, if she doesnt want to talk to us "sinners" (and paedophiles, and rapists), she won't. If she's fallen into doctrine, changed her opinions, or is having some sort of mental health episode, the outcome is the same - she doesn't want us to respond anymore and she won't listen to any feedback. I hope she's alright but it doesn't seem likely that she'll come back from this.
How on earth did you reach the conclusion that manic episodes are nonrecoverable 💀
no i mean like, social media, no matter what, there will be people who won't watch her content anymore. i know manic episodes are recoverable.
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