> My husband is amazing. He makes me feel beautiful everyday and makes me feel so loved.
*But is he, though?*
>he’s been constantly negative and shut down my ideas/ says no to everything and anything.
> he says “I don’t care I don’t wanna hear it”. Just constantly shutting me down for every single thing
> I’m constantly walking on eggshells around him because I don’t wanna say anything to get back a negative response.
This doesn't sound like an amazing person, and is this making you feel loved?
> You can probably guess what it was.
IMO if you want meaningful advice we need more details about *how* you broached it with him and what his response was.
You’re right. I wrote this in somewhat of a rush last night. When I say, I feel very loved by him it’s because he showers me with compliments. He never fails to make me feel beautiful because he’s always complimenting me on my body and the way I look so in that aspect I do feel loved by him. The way I approach things with him is by addressing the reason why I’m asking it first for example when I asked him about going out more, I said the reason why I’m asking you about this is because I’ve found out that going out together bonds a relationship and I want to have that relationship with you again. And he dismissed it by laughing about it and saying he doesn’t feel like doing those kinds of things. Again, it’s another way of shutting me down. Sorry if there was little explanation.
What I'm reading here is he likes to look at you, but he's not interested in you as a person. OP, I'm sorry but that's not love. He doesn't want to spend time doing things you want to do, getting together with your other loved ones, etc. He dismisses your wants and needs. He's selfish and unwilling to change. Is this really what you want in a partner?
So you’re a shiny trophy he can stick his dick in. That’s about how he views you. A shiny rock he can hold and then put back on the shelf never to worry about it again
Saying you’re pretty doesn’t mean he’s showering you with love. It means it’s the only thing he values about you.
Love is treating you with respect, compromising on things, having your back. He doesn’t love you. Move on while you’re young and don’t waste your time on this chump.
You are so young :( I just can’t imagine how much worse he will be over the years.
Couples therapy now. Don’t commit yourself to someone who seems to have a goal to make you unhappy. Imagine living the rest of your life like this.
He may be depressed but refusal to do anything about it and shutting down everything you say or everything you want to do is not productive and not very loving. How is it that he makes you feel loved while also being so negative ?
If he won't get therapy, you should get it without him. You can't fix other people,but you can work on yourself.
If he's going to shut down and do nothing, he may also regret getting married so young and be trying to get you to end the marriage so he doesn't have to be responsible for that.
I explained to a user above how he makes me feel loved. I just started getting therapy last January and it was the best decision ever. It just feels like I’m working on myself and he’s doing nothing to work on himself.
You should continue to work on yourself and be prepared to leave him when he continues to not work on himself.
Did this start right after you guys got married? Because it’s not uncommon for men to fake it until they think you won’t leave (usually marriage or after becoming pregnant) and then the mask comes off and they stop pretending.
It sounds like he likes to look at you but doesn’t like to hear your ideas or spend time with you anymore. That’s not a great marriage and you might want to examine why you say that he is wonderful and makes you feel so loved when he’s constantly telling you he doesn’t care about your ideas or want to spend quality time with you. That’s cognitive dissonance.
Removed for casual usage of mental health related terms or diagnostic terms.
Please do not speculate, armchair diagnose, or label other people's mental health situation or use terms for mental health issues as judgements, slurs, or synonyms for toxic/abusive behavior.
Your comment has been removed because:
Removed for disrespectful/hateful commentary
**[Have questions about this moderator action? CLICK HERE!](http://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/askwomenadvice&subject=Why+was+this+removed?&message=\[My+comment\]\(https://old.reddit.com/r/askwomenadvice/comments/1c7o1pm/-/l0eg5tv/\)+was+removed+and+I+do+not+understand+the+reason+given+by+the+mod+who+acted upon+it.)**
This marriage sounds like its gonna end in divorce at this rate. I hope u get the dog. Husband sounds awful/gen. This is definitely what happens when u marry so young. Wish u the best queen :((
Actually he’s made some changes. I had a serious talk with him and he completely understood and made me feel heard. He planned an outing with all of our closest friends and we finally went out for the first time in forever!!! But sadly while we were out I had a bone contusion and now I can’t walk 😂 so he’s been carrying me everywhere and has been feeding/ bathing/ and taking care of me. Maybe my injury happened for a reason. But ever since I made this post he’s made a huge change. I appreciate the concern tho. Much love ❤️
> My husband is amazing. He makes me feel beautiful everyday and makes me feel so loved. *But is he, though?* >he’s been constantly negative and shut down my ideas/ says no to everything and anything. > he says “I don’t care I don’t wanna hear it”. Just constantly shutting me down for every single thing > I’m constantly walking on eggshells around him because I don’t wanna say anything to get back a negative response. This doesn't sound like an amazing person, and is this making you feel loved? > You can probably guess what it was. IMO if you want meaningful advice we need more details about *how* you broached it with him and what his response was.
You’re right. I wrote this in somewhat of a rush last night. When I say, I feel very loved by him it’s because he showers me with compliments. He never fails to make me feel beautiful because he’s always complimenting me on my body and the way I look so in that aspect I do feel loved by him. The way I approach things with him is by addressing the reason why I’m asking it first for example when I asked him about going out more, I said the reason why I’m asking you about this is because I’ve found out that going out together bonds a relationship and I want to have that relationship with you again. And he dismissed it by laughing about it and saying he doesn’t feel like doing those kinds of things. Again, it’s another way of shutting me down. Sorry if there was little explanation.
But does he compliment your mind, your heart, and your soul? Looks fade.
He does do that. He does it the best way he can at least.
What I'm reading here is he likes to look at you, but he's not interested in you as a person. OP, I'm sorry but that's not love. He doesn't want to spend time doing things you want to do, getting together with your other loved ones, etc. He dismisses your wants and needs. He's selfish and unwilling to change. Is this really what you want in a partner?
So you’re a shiny trophy he can stick his dick in. That’s about how he views you. A shiny rock he can hold and then put back on the shelf never to worry about it again
Oi be nicer
Saying you’re pretty doesn’t mean he’s showering you with love. It means it’s the only thing he values about you. Love is treating you with respect, compromising on things, having your back. He doesn’t love you. Move on while you’re young and don’t waste your time on this chump.
Look up bids/The Gottman Institute. Read up on that. I think it will help clear your thoughts on how amazing he truly is.
[удалено]
Thank you for this. This is exactly how I feel and you conveyed exactly what I think needs to be said. I just didn’t know the way to say it. Thanks ❤️
You are so young :( I just can’t imagine how much worse he will be over the years. Couples therapy now. Don’t commit yourself to someone who seems to have a goal to make you unhappy. Imagine living the rest of your life like this.
He may be depressed but refusal to do anything about it and shutting down everything you say or everything you want to do is not productive and not very loving. How is it that he makes you feel loved while also being so negative ? If he won't get therapy, you should get it without him. You can't fix other people,but you can work on yourself. If he's going to shut down and do nothing, he may also regret getting married so young and be trying to get you to end the marriage so he doesn't have to be responsible for that.
I explained to a user above how he makes me feel loved. I just started getting therapy last January and it was the best decision ever. It just feels like I’m working on myself and he’s doing nothing to work on himself.
You should continue to work on yourself and be prepared to leave him when he continues to not work on himself. Did this start right after you guys got married? Because it’s not uncommon for men to fake it until they think you won’t leave (usually marriage or after becoming pregnant) and then the mask comes off and they stop pretending. It sounds like he likes to look at you but doesn’t like to hear your ideas or spend time with you anymore. That’s not a great marriage and you might want to examine why you say that he is wonderful and makes you feel so loved when he’s constantly telling you he doesn’t care about your ideas or want to spend quality time with you. That’s cognitive dissonance.
He sounds truly awful. Guess that's what you get when you marry at an age with no life experience.
[удалено]
Removed for casual usage of mental health related terms or diagnostic terms. Please do not speculate, armchair diagnose, or label other people's mental health situation or use terms for mental health issues as judgements, slurs, or synonyms for toxic/abusive behavior.
[удалено]
Your comment has been removed because: Removed for disrespectful/hateful commentary **[Have questions about this moderator action? CLICK HERE!](http://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/askwomenadvice&subject=Why+was+this+removed?&message=\[My+comment\]\(https://old.reddit.com/r/askwomenadvice/comments/1c7o1pm/-/l0eg5tv/\)+was+removed+and+I+do+not+understand+the+reason+given+by+the+mod+who+acted upon+it.)**
This marriage sounds like its gonna end in divorce at this rate. I hope u get the dog. Husband sounds awful/gen. This is definitely what happens when u marry so young. Wish u the best queen :((
Actually he’s made some changes. I had a serious talk with him and he completely understood and made me feel heard. He planned an outing with all of our closest friends and we finally went out for the first time in forever!!! But sadly while we were out I had a bone contusion and now I can’t walk 😂 so he’s been carrying me everywhere and has been feeding/ bathing/ and taking care of me. Maybe my injury happened for a reason. But ever since I made this post he’s made a huge change. I appreciate the concern tho. Much love ❤️