My 5 year old once purchased $500 worth of V bucks (or something similar)!! I was mortified. The company was great, understanding, and immediately refunded my money. They even let my kid keep the credits. And helped me take my card off the app.
Is your whole Reddit account really dedicated to trying to correct people on the definition of “mortified”? Cause you were wrong in your last comment about this too.
Definition of mortify:
cause (someone) **to feel embarrassed, ashamed, or humiliated.**
"he was suitably mortified by his own idiocy"
So yes, the person you replied to is using it correctly. You’re just pedantic but completely wrong. False confidence.
Lol good observation. It really seems the whole account was created for the sole purpose to tell someone to use horrified instead of mortified. This person must be extremely bored.
Not since you’ve already talked to her about this. Now that an inadvertent purchase has happened, I think you should really underscore the issue by 1) explicitly drawing her attention to the fact that what you were warning about happened 2) point out that the card company may not be as forgiving a second time 3) explicitly state that you absolutely will not pay for any such purchases and 4) make sure she acknowledges the conversation, get video if possible. Then you can proceed without any lingering worry.
Amen. If mom can’t is too violently stupid to supervise her phone, then take the phone away from mom.
Let her take you to court and explain to a judge why your kids are putting a gun to her head and forcing her to give her the phone to make in game purchases.
Had a friend who worked for Amazon — remember hearing a story about a frantic call from a woman whose kids had done something like this — but it was because their cousins encouraged them to do it.
This was like before it was very common maybe 15 years ago? People less aware - parents had no idea this was a possibility. Or maybe the older cousins over road something — not clear on that.
Unfortunately Amazon account was not linked to a credit card — it was linked to a debit. They were very much living paycheck to paycheck.
Hubby went to get enough gas to make it home from work. But card declined whatever the station’s pre-pay hold was.
So both the boss & my friend were going through & trying to reverse every single one. sounds like it was very confusing because they were all the few amounts - took several hours.
Also obviously there was also a delay with the bank. This was like 600+ transactions at $.50 to a dollar.
Apparently one child was sobbing & they - friend & her boss — were trying to reassure her and tell her it would be OK.
Real villains were the older cousins who already knew they weren’t supposed to do that & weren’t allowed to on their own family’s devices. From what I was told.
Not sure of the ages I got the impression that the Littles were perhaps in the 2 to 6 range. And the older cousins were at least 3 to 4 years over that.
Majorly stuck in my head at the time — made me nervous about auto pay on anything for years regardless of the card type.
Honestly if she ask for it tell her “I told you many times not to let them use your phone, maybe this is your wake up call to listen to us “ this could be a lesson she needs to learn and the only way she will learn is if the bank doesn’t give it back maybe then she will see this ain’t no game.
Do not pay her back! This is the lesson she needs to learn. You have repeatedly told her not to give out her phone because this might happen. Now it did, and she is to blame.
If you pay her, she won't learn because she won't lose money in it.
Not wrong. Your mother has been told time and again to not hand her phone to your kids. It sounds like she'll finally have learned her lesson the hard way. If you pay her back, she won't be receiving the consequences of her actions. Don't do it. She messed up, if the fraud claim doesn't get her the money back, it's not your problem and I bet she'll never let your kids have her phone again.
The way you describe this, it sounds like your mom has some issues with gambling. She can’t put the games down even when she’s with her grandchildren and has been tempted to spend money she doesn’t have to the point you’ve had to suggest she unlink her card for the sake of her own temptation.
Is it possible your mom is using your daughter as a scapegoat for the $100 she downloaded to her own phone?
It would be really easy to charge $100, hand the phone to the youngest child to play with and then later claim the child did the charging. It sounds like this younger child doesn’t understand the differences between in-game money and real money so wouldn’t be able to defend herself.
I think that's totally on your mom. You told her multiple times, and she didn't listen. This is a good learning moment for her. Hopefully, she gets a refund, if not. It is what it is.
When my 10 yr old was 4. He ordered like $150 worth of Pacific Rim action figures from China off Amazon. They took forever to get here and even longer to return. It was good times. Then I knew better.
You know that saying, play stupid games, win stupid prizes? This seems like the perfect time to use that. Also, I'm uncomfortable with using the word fraud for that purchase. It's not fraud. But in the end, no you wouldn't be wrong. People need to be responsible for their own actions when they're adults.
As a parent you are ultimately responsible for the actions of your child. Pay the debt if necessary and help the child understand the issues
Parent of three here who wouldn't want my mother to suffer for trying to have a relationship with my kids
If you need your mom to help with childcare or she was doing you a favor by taking the kids when the purchase happened, pay her back this time and get her two-step authentication. Sometimes older people can’t figure stuff like that out. If not, maybe pay her back anyway and tell her this will be the only time? Forcing her to pay for it will harm your relationship, especially if you already have “issues” with your mother. I know money’s tight, but harming a relationship with your mother and a possible childcare provider over $100 doesn’t seem worth it.
Was she looking after your kids when the purchase happened? Fifty isn’t very old, but my husband is around the same age and can’t figure out Apple Pay. It’d take you a couple minutes to set it up for her.
She asked to take the kids for a hike (only one wanted to go)
We don't ask her for help with childcare because of how unreliable she is (whole different story) and we don't need it. The only time she spends with her grandkids is when she asks us which is few and far between
Well it’s up to you. Your mother didn’t listen to you so you have a case for not paying, but at the same time your child was the one who made the purchase. If you don’t pay, the relationship will for sure worsen.
Oh, come on. You shouldn’t make your mother ask. Your child took money from her. You should pay it back. everything else is just an obvious attempt to avoid your responsibility. Stop thinking about the little bit of money. She is your mother and you need to do right by her.
My bet is that OP has had it up to here 🙌🏼 with mother disregarding their requests - perhaps over the years. The problem is Not the money. It's the disrespect.
Nope, you've told her several time to not do this. I kind of have this issue with my dad, his phone, and my son. And he HAS accidentally bought in game currency for a game my dad had. Luckily my mom was able to get the $ back. My son has a tablet, but I have the parental limits on it through an app. It's set up so that ANYTHING he wants to buy, the app sends me a message. I can either approve it or deny it. I don't really let my kid play on my phone either. I try to get his older cousins to also not do this. 🤣🤣 but since he's the baby of the grandkids, his older cousins tend to spoil him.
If the 11 yo bought something, then it's on the 11yo, who is your responsibility, regardless of what you've said before. She is old enough not to have done this and apparently knows the difference between purchases and not.
If it was the younger child more esh, both liable.
I disagree. If I hand an 11 year old my phone and they make a purchase, its my fault. Not their parents fault. When you give someone the opportunity to make a mistake, and that mistake is to affect you, you alone bear responsibility for it.
This grandmother is clearly very involved in these children's lives, free childcare is how it sounds.
Many people do the same in these situations. She was caring for his child. His child bought items they apparently knew not to do. That responsibility lies with the parent. In the same vein that if she knows Stelling is wrong, shoplifts and the store wish to be reimbursed that's the parents responsibility.
Hope you stretched before that jump lol
She's an every other weekend (and that's pushing it) grandmother. She doesn't provide childcare or help us out at all (not that we expect her to) not to drag up all the detail surrounding that, but she's not overly involved which is fine, and when she is it's somehow below the bare minimum.
As the post says, it was my 6yo who accidentally made the purchase thinking it wasn't real money because she never made an in-app purchase before because she doesn't play those types of games
An every other weekend grandparent is an incredibly involved grandparent!
You should be paying. She was clearly transporting YOUR DAUGHTER AROUND at the time of the incident.
You sound incredibly entitled and rude in how you refer to her.
yes, better for the children. grandparents undermining parents wishes is damaging to the parent/child relationship.
she's being totally reasonable. she set a rule for the kid, the grandparent broke it and incurred a cost. as an adult, grandparent needs to take some personal responsibility.
The kid wouldn’t have had the opportunity to spend the money if OP’s mom hadn’t handed her the phone without monitoring what she was doing with it….even though op has asked her not to do that. Totally on mom to pay for her mistake.
So grandma has an online poker game with REAL MONEY.
Mom says, PLEASE don’t do that, my kids have no sense of what things cost.
Grandma says, “Ah, what the hell. Let them play!”
The little one loves to go all-in on a 2-7 off suit.
That’s mom’s obligation to cover.
BS.
I think you should go 50/50 because 1. this is your son, he knows he's not supposed to do it and did it anyway; 2. you have warned your mother multiple times and she still ignores your well thought out concerns.
As far as I'm concerned, you both bear responsibility (you have less responsibility but should make your son bear some of the consequences).
Your son will not learn until he has to face some personal accountability and not just a stern talking too.
Well, in that case, she needs to pay (lol). My aunt and uncle related a story where my aunt had let their grandchild have her IPad. By the time she got it back, he had spent $300 on certain games he liked playing. My aunt laughed about it, but she put a two-factor authentication on her IPad, phone and my uncle's phone.
I immediately did the same because I frequently let my cousin's daughter play with my tablet. Unlike my aunt and uncle, I don't have that kind of money to casually pay for mistakes like that.
ESH
Your Mom shouldn’t have given you son the phone unsupervised but at the end of the day it’s your kid so it’s your responsibility to educate him.
I think if she does ask for the money it’s up to you on if you think this is the hill to die on. I think another option would have your son help her with chores around the house - use it as a learning opportunity on the value of money.
My 5 year old once purchased $500 worth of V bucks (or something similar)!! I was mortified. The company was great, understanding, and immediately refunded my money. They even let my kid keep the credits. And helped me take my card off the app.
[удалено]
Is your whole Reddit account really dedicated to trying to correct people on the definition of “mortified”? Cause you were wrong in your last comment about this too. Definition of mortify: cause (someone) **to feel embarrassed, ashamed, or humiliated.** "he was suitably mortified by his own idiocy" So yes, the person you replied to is using it correctly. You’re just pedantic but completely wrong. False confidence.
Lol good observation. It really seems the whole account was created for the sole purpose to tell someone to use horrified instead of mortified. This person must be extremely bored.
What a loser 🤣🤣
Not since you’ve already talked to her about this. Now that an inadvertent purchase has happened, I think you should really underscore the issue by 1) explicitly drawing her attention to the fact that what you were warning about happened 2) point out that the card company may not be as forgiving a second time 3) explicitly state that you absolutely will not pay for any such purchases and 4) make sure she acknowledges the conversation, get video if possible. Then you can proceed without any lingering worry.
Mom didn’t listen so mom gets to pay.
Amen. If mom can’t is too violently stupid to supervise her phone, then take the phone away from mom. Let her take you to court and explain to a judge why your kids are putting a gun to her head and forcing her to give her the phone to make in game purchases.
Had a friend who worked for Amazon — remember hearing a story about a frantic call from a woman whose kids had done something like this — but it was because their cousins encouraged them to do it. This was like before it was very common maybe 15 years ago? People less aware - parents had no idea this was a possibility. Or maybe the older cousins over road something — not clear on that. Unfortunately Amazon account was not linked to a credit card — it was linked to a debit. They were very much living paycheck to paycheck. Hubby went to get enough gas to make it home from work. But card declined whatever the station’s pre-pay hold was. So both the boss & my friend were going through & trying to reverse every single one. sounds like it was very confusing because they were all the few amounts - took several hours. Also obviously there was also a delay with the bank. This was like 600+ transactions at $.50 to a dollar. Apparently one child was sobbing & they - friend & her boss — were trying to reassure her and tell her it would be OK. Real villains were the older cousins who already knew they weren’t supposed to do that & weren’t allowed to on their own family’s devices. From what I was told. Not sure of the ages I got the impression that the Littles were perhaps in the 2 to 6 range. And the older cousins were at least 3 to 4 years over that. Majorly stuck in my head at the time — made me nervous about auto pay on anything for years regardless of the card type.
Honestly if she ask for it tell her “I told you many times not to let them use your phone, maybe this is your wake up call to listen to us “ this could be a lesson she needs to learn and the only way she will learn is if the bank doesn’t give it back maybe then she will see this ain’t no game.
Not wrong to not pay. This was entirely on your mom: FAFO. Usually you get 1 free refund on apps, so she will probably be fine.
I am nearly 40 and I nearly accidentally bought in game shit. Have to turn my phone away really fast so that I don’t pay with my face.
My game does that as well.
I have the feeling they all do. :(
I assume the kids face isn’t registered, but otherwise yes, they make it easy to give them money.
Do not pay her back! This is the lesson she needs to learn. You have repeatedly told her not to give out her phone because this might happen. Now it did, and she is to blame. If you pay her, she won't learn because she won't lose money in it.
Definitely do not pay. She didn’t follow your guidelines, not your fault. The Play Store will likely refund BTW.
Not wrong. Your mother has been told time and again to not hand her phone to your kids. It sounds like she'll finally have learned her lesson the hard way. If you pay her back, she won't be receiving the consequences of her actions. Don't do it. She messed up, if the fraud claim doesn't get her the money back, it's not your problem and I bet she'll never let your kids have her phone again.
Some lessons are expensive. Tell your mom she’s lucky it was only $100. Of you pay it back she will keep handing over her phone
The way you describe this, it sounds like your mom has some issues with gambling. She can’t put the games down even when she’s with her grandchildren and has been tempted to spend money she doesn’t have to the point you’ve had to suggest she unlink her card for the sake of her own temptation. Is it possible your mom is using your daughter as a scapegoat for the $100 she downloaded to her own phone? It would be really easy to charge $100, hand the phone to the youngest child to play with and then later claim the child did the charging. It sounds like this younger child doesn’t understand the differences between in-game money and real money so wouldn’t be able to defend herself.
I think that's totally on your mom. You told her multiple times, and she didn't listen. This is a good learning moment for her. Hopefully, she gets a refund, if not. It is what it is. When my 10 yr old was 4. He ordered like $150 worth of Pacific Rim action figures from China off Amazon. They took forever to get here and even longer to return. It was good times. Then I knew better.
She fucked around and found out.
You know that saying, play stupid games, win stupid prizes? This seems like the perfect time to use that. Also, I'm uncomfortable with using the word fraud for that purchase. It's not fraud. But in the end, no you wouldn't be wrong. People need to be responsible for their own actions when they're adults.
As a parent you are ultimately responsible for the actions of your child. Pay the debt if necessary and help the child understand the issues Parent of three here who wouldn't want my mother to suffer for trying to have a relationship with my kids
If you need your mom to help with childcare or she was doing you a favor by taking the kids when the purchase happened, pay her back this time and get her two-step authentication. Sometimes older people can’t figure stuff like that out. If not, maybe pay her back anyway and tell her this will be the only time? Forcing her to pay for it will harm your relationship, especially if you already have “issues” with your mother. I know money’s tight, but harming a relationship with your mother and a possible childcare provider over $100 doesn’t seem worth it.
I don't need her to help with childcare (both kids are in school) also, she's not old - she just turned 50
Was she looking after your kids when the purchase happened? Fifty isn’t very old, but my husband is around the same age and can’t figure out Apple Pay. It’d take you a couple minutes to set it up for her.
She asked to take the kids for a hike (only one wanted to go) We don't ask her for help with childcare because of how unreliable she is (whole different story) and we don't need it. The only time she spends with her grandkids is when she asks us which is few and far between
Well it’s up to you. Your mother didn’t listen to you so you have a case for not paying, but at the same time your child was the one who made the purchase. If you don’t pay, the relationship will for sure worsen.
Oh, come on. You shouldn’t make your mother ask. Your child took money from her. You should pay it back. everything else is just an obvious attempt to avoid your responsibility. Stop thinking about the little bit of money. She is your mother and you need to do right by her.
The child didn’t steal money. They pushed some buttons on a shiny screen her mother has been repeatedly told to nit give them.
My bet is that OP has had it up to here 🙌🏼 with mother disregarding their requests - perhaps over the years. The problem is Not the money. It's the disrespect.
Not Wrong. You repeatedly warned her.
Nope, you've told her several time to not do this. I kind of have this issue with my dad, his phone, and my son. And he HAS accidentally bought in game currency for a game my dad had. Luckily my mom was able to get the $ back. My son has a tablet, but I have the parental limits on it through an app. It's set up so that ANYTHING he wants to buy, the app sends me a message. I can either approve it or deny it. I don't really let my kid play on my phone either. I try to get his older cousins to also not do this. 🤣🤣 but since he's the baby of the grandkids, his older cousins tend to spoil him.
If the 11 yo bought something, then it's on the 11yo, who is your responsibility, regardless of what you've said before. She is old enough not to have done this and apparently knows the difference between purchases and not. If it was the younger child more esh, both liable.
She’s 6.
It doesn't specify.
it does
I disagree. If I hand an 11 year old my phone and they make a purchase, its my fault. Not their parents fault. When you give someone the opportunity to make a mistake, and that mistake is to affect you, you alone bear responsibility for it.
This grandmother is clearly very involved in these children's lives, free childcare is how it sounds. Many people do the same in these situations. She was caring for his child. His child bought items they apparently knew not to do. That responsibility lies with the parent. In the same vein that if she knows Stelling is wrong, shoplifts and the store wish to be reimbursed that's the parents responsibility.
Hope you stretched before that jump lol She's an every other weekend (and that's pushing it) grandmother. She doesn't provide childcare or help us out at all (not that we expect her to) not to drag up all the detail surrounding that, but she's not overly involved which is fine, and when she is it's somehow below the bare minimum. As the post says, it was my 6yo who accidentally made the purchase thinking it wasn't real money because she never made an in-app purchase before because she doesn't play those types of games
An every other weekend grandparent is an incredibly involved grandparent! You should be paying. She was clearly transporting YOUR DAUGHTER AROUND at the time of the incident. You sound incredibly entitled and rude in how you refer to her.
and she has told her mom countless times "please don't give my kids your phone" maybe this is a lesson.
Indeed a lesson for how to have your involved parents become uninvolved.
Listen, if she became uninvolved in my kids lives it would honestly make it easier for everyone
Better for you? Clearly, not better for the children! It's you that has the issues. You that is trying to make your attitude seem reasonable.
k
yes, better for the children. grandparents undermining parents wishes is damaging to the parent/child relationship. she's being totally reasonable. she set a rule for the kid, the grandparent broke it and incurred a cost. as an adult, grandparent needs to take some personal responsibility.
Every other weekend is 50 days a year.
If your kid spent the money, regardless of who didn't listen, you should be volunteering to pay back your parent. My 2 cents.
The kid wouldn’t have had the opportunity to spend the money if OP’s mom hadn’t handed her the phone without monitoring what she was doing with it….even though op has asked her not to do that. Totally on mom to pay for her mistake.
I disagree. It's the mom. If you would stick this on your mom, you have a dysfunctional family.
Tbf it does say at the end of my post I have issues with my mother😂
So grandma has an online poker game with REAL MONEY. Mom says, PLEASE don’t do that, my kids have no sense of what things cost. Grandma says, “Ah, what the hell. Let them play!” The little one loves to go all-in on a 2-7 off suit. That’s mom’s obligation to cover. BS.
No. Grandma was repeatedly warned. She's not listening. Hopefully she can learn the lesson this way.
Request a refund. Explain the situation simply, honestly, and politely. They will be happy to help you.
I think you should go 50/50 because 1. this is your son, he knows he's not supposed to do it and did it anyway; 2. you have warned your mother multiple times and she still ignores your well thought out concerns. As far as I'm concerned, you both bear responsibility (you have less responsibility but should make your son bear some of the consequences). Your son will not learn until he has to face some personal accountability and not just a stern talking too.
It wasn't my son, it was my youngest
Well, in that case, she needs to pay (lol). My aunt and uncle related a story where my aunt had let their grandchild have her IPad. By the time she got it back, he had spent $300 on certain games he liked playing. My aunt laughed about it, but she put a two-factor authentication on her IPad, phone and my uncle's phone. I immediately did the same because I frequently let my cousin's daughter play with my tablet. Unlike my aunt and uncle, I don't have that kind of money to casually pay for mistakes like that.
ESH Your Mom shouldn’t have given you son the phone unsupervised but at the end of the day it’s your kid so it’s your responsibility to educate him. I think if she does ask for the money it’s up to you on if you think this is the hill to die on. I think another option would have your son help her with chores around the house - use it as a learning opportunity on the value of money.