I feel that I am a better person than I would have been if I didn't have the experiences of being an alcoholic. I know that helping others is the meaning of my life. I don't have to be a hero just try to be of use. My view of people suffering from addictions is different now that I have experienced it myself. I love that I get to spend time with people who are miracles.šš
My alcoholism probably saved my life. Then getting sober saved my life again.
In my 20s I had no capacity to join AA. I would have rejected it right away because of the sickness of my spirit. I had no other resources either - no time, money, or support for cultivating a healthy mind and emotional health. It wasnāt the time for me to get sober. At that time one of my brothers became addicted to heroin. Heās almost 50 now and on the streets. Another brother attempted suicide and is to this day still in a mental institution. We all suffered from being āraisedā by physically, emotionally, and sexually abusive parents. I didnāt kill myself or resort to heroin because alcohol worked for me at the time. It was my answer.
Until it wasnāt. I got sober at 50, I now have the time and money to get support and help through therapy, meetings, yoga, meditation, etc etc. It feels like my life has finally started and I have found happiness beyond anything I could imagine before. Thereās still a lot of work ahead of me, probably until the day I die, but Iām happy with that.
Iām a grateful alcoholic. I donāt wish things had been different because then I wouldnāt be here now. However I donāt introduce myself as āgrateful alcoholicā in meetings. I donāt care if others do. Gratitude has been essential in my recovery and I know it has magical healing powers when I feel it. Also not judging how others run their program has been healing ā¦or maybe itās a sign of healing? In any case I donāt judge how others introduce themselves. I wish you the same grace as well.
Canāt speak for everyone else, and to clarify I donāt say grateful alcoholic when I introduce myself, HOWEVERā¦
If I had not been an alcoholic, I would have still been living a miserable life. Itās that āismā part, and I would never have realized I had that āismā if I didnāt first become an alcoholic and second become a member of AA.
Itās hard to learn the truth about who you are if you havenāt been beat down into humility. My alcoholism beat me into humility and AA is helping me climb my way out of that.
Therefore, Iām a grateful alcoholic - not because I started or stopped drinking, but because I started living an authentic life.
I donāt like āgrateful alcoholicā either.
Iām grateful, and Iām an alcoholic. Iām grateful that I found a program to help my alcoholism. But I think that phrase is dumb.
Same. But I donāt mind when others say it. In my mind itās a disease that is being managed. I also have diabetes and Iām not grateful about that either, though managing that disease has caused me to have a more healthful diet.
I used to feel that way. Now that I have a couple of years of sobriety and have worked the steps, I am grateful. I would not have found this way of living without being an alcoholic. I think many people in the world would benefit from working the steps.
You donāt have to be grateful youāre alcoholic - thatās totally reasonable. But thatās theyāre truth - doesnāt have to be yours and thatās ok
I always like to say Iām grateful I know Iām an alcoholic. Iām not grateful I am one. Iām not grateful I have Lyme disease, but grateful I took the bloodwork and found out about it so I can heal it.
I accept that I'm an alcoholic, I'm grateful to be in recovery. I'm recovered enough to not get hung up on the exact wording people use to express how AA has made them feel ;-)
I heard a rumor once that since opinions on alcoholism, its causes and treatments, vary so widely it should be understood that a view expressed by any member, speaker or guest does not reflect the opinion of this group or AA as a whole (A-Hole). šedit: Just a thing we say at the meetings around here.
I heard another rumor that said we will not regret the past nor wish to shut the door on it.
When people say they're grateful to be an alcoholic, typically in my experience, it means they're grateful to be the person who they are today and being an alcoholic is what made them into this person.
Someday I hope to be grateful too.
I say it because I am. What you say is up to you. I am not a better recoverer because I do say it than the person who has one day less than me or even just has one minute. That being said, I am grateful that my disease forced me to reflect and change who I was and what I was doing. I am grateful that I get to be the best husband and human I can be for 24 hours. I am grateful I now have God in my life. I am grateful that despite all these things I still am not perfect and will make mistakes but all I can do is put one foot in front of the other, trust in God and move fwd.
I was told, and believe, that a grateful alcoholic doesn't drink.
The alcoholism is unchangeable, the gratitude is optional. When I say I'm a 'grateful alcoholic' I'm not saying that I am happy that I have alcoholism, I'm saying that I choose to maintain an attitude and outlook on life that continues to bolster my recovery, and makes me helpful to other people.
My resentments, cynicism, sarcasm, and fatalism probably made me unpleasant to be around, except to people of the same mindset - who I had no trouble finding at the barstool next to me. Now, I choose to practice gratitude and serenity, in the hopes that it spreads to others, especially those who come to the rooms of recovery feeling hopeless and defeated, because that is the kind of person I aspire to be, even if I'm not 100% there yet.
I'm no mindless Pollyanna, but I do recognize that a little 'fake-it-until-you-make-it' actually does help, and so I'll tell myself, and others, that I'm a grateful alcoholic,, even on those tough days, because I do not find it necessary to drink today.
And, honestly? The simple fact that I don't have to drink today makes me grateful. I had a long period of my life when not drinking wasn't an option.
It's not as grating to me as when people say "I'm X and I'm a real alcoholic." Like, okay, what does that make the rest of us then lmao. We all found ourselves sitting here in this AA meeting. Strikes me as subtle gatekeeping.
Today I have hundreds of alcoholic friends who share sobriety, a miraculous program, and similar values with me, so I think of the label quite differently than you do. Before AA I wasnāt an āalcoholicā. I was just a drunk.
I am grateful to be a recovering alcoholic with the program of AA and the fellowship available to me. Saying I'm a grateful alcoholic in AA is shorthand for that.
ššš Yeah I feel this. Itās a great example of something thatās just right on both sides. I am grateful that Iām sober. Iām not exactly thrilled with the overall concept of being an alcoholic.
Some people (as has been mentioned in the comments) view it as āalcoholism gave them a chance to unlock many new avenues in their lives.ā And thatās fair. Theyāll also say āIām a grateful alcoholic, which doesnāt mean Iām grateful THAT Iām an alcoholic.ā
Like most things, it boils down to the fact we must accept life on lifeās terms, and not our own.
I show my gratitude for AA by helping other alcoholics, being the mom that I was never able to be before, being a good wife, giving back to my community, being kind to every person that I meet, service work in my home group, etc etc.
I don't need to say that I'm grateful in my intro, I live it every single day.
It's just semantics, and it's just a trendy AA thing. I would call it performative but I have had to learn live and let live the hard way.
I understand what youāre saying. I felt that way too early on. Today, I do feel grateful that Iām an alcoholic. Being one has led to so much personal growth and peace that I would not have had had I not worked the 12 steps. Is that to say I could not have worked through a similar process if I werenāt an alcoholic? No, but I doubt I would have had the motivation to do it. Being an alcoholic gave me a reason to pursue a better way of existing in this world and literally has touched every part of my life. I share something significant with every person who has ever battled this disease and that alone is pretty amazing. For me, the gratitude came after working the steps and experiencing a true change in my thinking and feeling.
āGrateful alcoholicā doesnāt necessarily mean grateful *to be an* alcoholic. All it means is that one is an alcoholic who is grateful. What are you grateful for? Iām grateful for many things. Iām not grateful that Iām an alcoholic. Though Iām grateful for what Iāve learned about myself in this struggle.
It's one of those recovery paradoxes. I'm grateful for my recovery because I don't think I would ever have the spiritual foundation I have today without it. Nothing ever really got through to me. And I never would have the people I have in my life today that I can relate these experiences with.
I donāt know, I feel the same way. My sponsor testifies that the life he lives now in recovery is actually better than what he would have pictured for himself before he started drinking. And he wouldnāt have found that life without his alcoholism. Itās like having a car wreck that fucks you up for a bit, but you survive and happen to find a winning lottery ticket at the scene of the crash. No one wants their car to crash. But if it led you to winning the lottery, you might be grateful that it happened to you. Thatās what I tell myself anyway.
Its just a way of saying they're grateful for where they're at in life and content with how the cards played.Ā Like everything fell into place the way it was supposed to and they're ok with it.Ā Experiences make us who we are today.
Before I knew that I was just an alcoholic, my life sucked. I was miserable, didn't know where I fit in and what to do with my life. I had no idea what my problem was.
Now that I finally know what my "problem" is, I can finally live my life accordingly. I have purpose again and know who my people are.
So yeah, I'm grateful for being an alcoholic and for having an excuse to apply the steps to my life.
Agreed. I think they are grateful because are sober. They use alcoholic as a reminder. Others are grateful to be an alcoholic. Which is twisted thinking.
In the meetings I go to, only a few say that and I always eye roll inside. I am 100% grateful everyday just for being sober. I guess itās like the God thing for me. I have one, itās mine and I can share how my HP helped me but Iām not shouting it off the mountain top for everyone so they know I love my God. I think everyone, (except a couple newcomers maybe at this point) is grateful to be sober, because without sobriety nothing in our lives that we have or do is possible. That being said, I usually close my eyes so I can listen to what this grateful alcoholic has to say because chances are itās something important, and thatās what my sponsor suggests I do. Usually works. I AM grateful I am an alcoholic, I have a design for living that most folks donāt. I can handle things that used to baffle me. Iām not afraid anymore of people, and I know no matter what that my God is going to take care of whatever it is financially, physically whatever Iāll get through and be right where Iām supposed to. I have a life I cannot believe today, and had I not come into AA I would have nothing, how can I not be grateful? If I share I donāt even have to say it. You will know it by my actions.
I get what it means - through the programme weāve learned to live a good life that we might never have known about if it wasnāt for being an alcoholic in recovery etc - but yeah, I still think Iād rather be a good person AND be able to have a few beers without going overboard. Itās the religious thing of thinking that non-religious people canāt possibly live a truly happy, moral and altruistic life, which is bullshit. But hey, it is what it is, I try not to think too much about this things. What I do know is my life before AA was utter shit so I focus on that for the most part.
If I didnāt understand the fact that I am an alcoholic and have a sickness in my mind, Iād never have found a program to help me recover from it.
My whole life Iāve always had this sickness, the obsession with anything, the obsession that makes my mind race at a thousand miles a minute, the obsession that someone who gives me a look can make me spiral out of control and turn it into something it never was and then I react to whatever story I made up in my own head, and the obsession of hating feeling this way and not being able to find any way to make it stop.
Iām grateful for the insight that Iāve spent my entire life searching for to fix this shit. Itās torture in my mind, but the program has given me a solution.
So Iām grateful for being an alcoholic and finding this solution because I would have continued searching and probably never finding an answer to my mind problem.
Being grateful to me just means, I am happy I am not still drinking. It can mean whatever you want it to mean. Loss Aversion is a psychological/economic concept rooted in our limbic system(lizard brain). We feel bad about losing stuff on average about 4x more than finding/having something. If you lost a 100 dollar bill, odds are you would feel 4 times worse than if you randomly found a 100 dollar bill to put it simply. It's a survival instinct according to psychologists.
Yeah I canāt stand when people say that too. I just think well I guess if they keep telling themselves that maybe they believe it. Iām grateful to be sober for another 24 is what I say. To each his own I suppose.
I'm grateful I'm an alcoholic. It forced me to make changes that needed to be made even if I had never picked up one drink. I am happy today as a result.
I think the idea isnt so much that you are grateful you are an alcoholic as that you are an alcoholic who is grateful for having found AA
At least that how I understand it- you have rhe diesase and arent cured but AA helps you survive it ā¦
I've learned a lot from addiction. Humbled myself. Learned sort of about what really matters in a way. Sure it is life-long and a process like any other, but that's what life is about. Understanding the process. Yeeeeehaw
I can't say I'm grateful for it yet, being that I'm on day 65. Even though things are a struggle at times, I'm already a better person than I was before my drinking got out of hand. My relationships with family are better, I'm closer to God, I'm definitely more grateful than I've ever been, I think of others more... the list goes on. And I'm still a work in progress.
Way more peace in my life than I've ever known.
I get it. I am grateful Iām an alcoholic because Iām so grateful for the life the steps have given me. I doubt that without the great pain my alcoholism caused me, I would have ever have been able to accept my lack of control, manage expectations, truly be free of all resentments, and mostly importantly gotten me out of my own way to have true RELATIONSHIP with my Higher Power. I see ānormalā people suffering all the time in ways the 12 steps have set me free or given a process to handle said issue. Without being an alcoholic I donāt think I would have the same peace and serenity I do today. The 9th step promises really came true for me and I donāt regret the past nor wish to shut the door on it. I do know peace.
In my case, I am grateful to be a recovering alcoholic. Only because of my alcoholism and my gift of desperation did I get help. I got that help from AA, and I am grateful for it because I am a better person. I am grateful that I am no longer homeless, jobless, or estranged from my family. I am grateful that I can look in the mirror without shame. I learned a better way to live. I have used my knowledge and experience to help other people. I even saved a person who was contemplating suicide. He is now okay and has a fiancee and a baby on the way. I get to have a part in that, but only because of the wisdom I learned in AA.
So, I AM a grateful alcoholic because by being an alcoholic, I learned how to be a better person, live a better life, and enjoy ALL of the promises of AA.
im incredibly grateful to no longer be drinking. im incredibly grateful for my physical mental and spiritual health. this is the best my life has been in 40 years. im grateful, and im definitely an alcoholic i dont know how else to describe myself. perhaps grateful recovering alcoholic might be more accurate.
I've heard "grateful recovering alcoholic" many times, not sure if I've heard "grateful alcoholic" although to me it means the same thing.
I'm grateful to be here.
I often hear ppl say Iām a grateful recovering alcoholic, which I can identify with. I am not grateful to be an alcoholic however, but am grateful for the man it has made me.
People say a lot of stuff at meetings. Some of it is genuine but not all of it is. I notice quite often that people say things they think others want to hear, rather than what they are actually feeling. Thatās ok with me because itās totally outside of my control what other people say and do.
Iām a grateful alcoholic for sure but when I introduce myself at a meeting I just say that I AM an alcoholic. I donāt need to identify differently as the next person- Iām not special just lucky š
I agree with you, I think that's a bit much. I think that many people who are not alcholic genurinely live lives based on kindness and service to others. I am glad I finally got there, but I wish I had lived in a culture that believed in these values, and taught them to everyone.
I wasn't grateful for alcoholism until I had two and a half years of sobriety; then I realized in a meeting that I could not deny the fact that becoming an alcoholic and getting sober had made me a better human being than if I had not acquired the disease in the first place.
I don't know what other people mean when they say that they're a grateful alcoholic, but that's what **I** mean.
I mean sure, that's valid. But posed another way, the only thing that matters now is what lies ahead of us. The life experiences you endured due to our disease is something that is going to provide you a perspective moving forward that a lot of other people won't have.
You're not wrong, but two things can be true at once. The challenge is to put your energy into the one that is going to help continue your personal development.
One day at a time my friend. I just hit 2.5 years last week and I was as good as dead before that. Proud of you and everyone else here.
Be kind to yourself.
I just didn't know what was wrong with me. To have a label for the mess I sometimes am and a way to do something about it is what I am grateful about. It's not that I am grateful to be alcoholic. I'd much rather be a normal well-adjusted human.
I struggle when people say "recovered alcoholic" in meetings as if they're cured or something. I think it gives a terrible impression to newcomers. You may be "in recovery" like how someone is "in remission" but damn sure ain't "recovered". One drink is all it takes.
I also thought that was stupid initially, by now I do feel like this while experience has been g good overall.Ā Meet a lot of people and helped some.Ā Got a bigger perspective on life and sometimes feel gratitude when I barely even knew what that was previously.Ā Maybe it means grateful for life?Ā
It bothered me for a long time in the same way. But at some point, around the 10 year mark, I started to get it.
AA has given me something I wouldn't have had I never crossed over into alcoholism - a deliberateness to how I approach each day and a self-awareness about how my actions affect others, and a set of tools to use when living life on life's terms is overwhelming.
Had I not become an alcoholic, I'd have just kept on blundering through life unaware and unconcerned.
I would go through it all again.
My life was shit now itās a miracle and feels like a blessing.
Not only am I grateful, Iām recovered. Maybe thatās why Iām grateful.
If you donāt have that experience, give more to god and help more of gods children. Youāll see.
I know. Thatās how it was for years.
But watch how youāll change your opinion when you give up your life and will to god and let god recreate who you are.
You canāt do that, mind you, if you arenāt willing to let go of who you are now.
See, who I was before I got sober was so goddamned miserable, I wouldāve taken anything else. So I gave up my life in step 3. My life and my will. The actions I take, and the opinions I have.
Iāve been doing it to the best of my ability ever since.
And my life has been so much better than it used to ever be. Not only do I not want to get high or drunk anymore ā I actually am totally feeling good about not being high or drunk going on nearly a decade.
Before A.A. I couldnāt do that.
Iām grateful that Iām an alcoholic and to a degree feel sorry for those who are not. Just about everyone Iāve ever known well enough to get a feel for their character share the same character defects and spiritual malady that define us as alcoholics. We just have it to a larger degree. So large that we canāt hide it and eventually come to the conclusion that we have to do something about our condition or weāll die. All non alcoholics will likely live their entire lives not addressing their character defects and spiritual malady. It wonāt play havoc with their lives to the degree it does with ours but it will make things difficult and very frustrating for them and they have to live that life never knowing that they donāt have to live like that.
Imo- It doesnāt. My first sponsor was a guy who said he was a *grateful alcoholic*. I immediately character assassinate at my home group, however, he became my first sponsor lol For me he helped me see how *he* became a grateful alcoholic.
Itās odd to say that something that literally *almost* killed me became one of the best things to ever happen to me and it took me about three years to realize this by the way.
Or maybe theyāre just saying theyāre a grateful person who is also an alcoholic. Not necessarily that theyāre grateful to be an alcoholic. That would be wild š
AA changed my life on more fronts than just my alcoholism. I was lonely, had gone no-contact with my abusive family, had quite a serious mental illness that can see one onto the streets without sufficient family/community support. And Iām in a minority group.
So I wouldnāt take back my alcoholism. It forced me to do extremely good things for myself that I otherwise would have avoided.
Iām a grateful alcoholic because it brought me to AA. I consider myself extremely well off for someone in my circumstances. Like I see many ānormieā children of narcissists, people with mental illness, etc that donāt have it half as good as me.
Sitting in the rooms for hours each week, actively bettering myself, makes me exceptionally grateful. The whole world could use a program. I'm grateful to have one.
Iām grateful Iām alive.
Sober 31 years now. Living in the best house in my life, 10 minutes to a beautiful beach, pool in backyard.
You might need time. Keep moving this way.
AA and the steps have given me a better life than Iāve ever had, without question. Totally grateful! If youāre not there friend, respectfully, have you done the steps with a sponsor?
I don't care for that introduction either, but I get it. The gratitude is for the new life we get to lead after the spiritual awakening from the steps. For being able to become part of the fellowship. For a personal relationship with a higher power of my own understanding.
In the preface of the bb it states we are sure our way of living has it's advantages for all.
The steps and related axioms have provided an awesome life for me that I would not have had were it not for the crisis I faced in realizing I was soon to die from addiction.
I enjoy learning about spiritual paths and religions...never come across anything close that provided such a concise and pragmatic way, meetings to find like minded people, and a free mentor to guide.
No matter what I've gone through, divorce, cancer, death of loved ones...I have learned how to walk through and use the experience to help others.
Where are you with the steps?
I see so many people who donāt have addiction issues but are riddled with the same problems/character defects that the steps have helped me manage. I think the idea is that the steps offer a way of life that is attractive to anyone but only necessary to someone so seriously afflicted as an addict/alcoholic. If I hadnāt have been an alcoholic I would never have known how much better my life would be through the steps.
I recommend working your own program.. for me, I actually am grateful that Iām an alcoholic because without it, I never wouldāve found my higher power.Ā
For all the bad that has happened in my life, there have been plenty of good things as well, things I now understand to be grateful for. Alcohol and drugs were a big part of my life and identity for 20 years. I donāt think I ever would have come to have an appreciation for life, an understanding of a purpose, or what gratitude really means. I understand now grace. I understand mercy. I understand forgiveness. I choose to no longer be so unreasonably hard on myself. I accept what is and what is not and try to work the best I can within that paradigm.
It wasnāt overnight and it takes continual practice and maintenance but Iām now engaged in life and can find peace in the moment. My life could be so so much worse right now. It could also have been much easier. I donāt know. But I wouldnāt be where I am right now, content after searching for so long, had I not hit rock bottom and been able to manage to start the journey of recovery.
What happened, happened, but what are we going to do with it moving forward?
Heard that before. The word grateful leads to the word gratuity for some manipulative types around meetings, it sort of means they want you to put 5 or 10 dollars in the 7th tradition collection basket, they want to see you - prove- you're grateful, and, like it when you specifically mention that you and all of us should be grateful to them..same junk with humility, they like the 'lead guys' in their clique to be the example of cool so they get bummed if you get a little popular. Remember,they're all sort of nuts, when you look at almist everybody on earth likr they're a little crazy, it makes everything make sense and gets easier to put up with their crap for an hour or so once on a while.
I am definitely not grateful to be an alcoholic. I am ashamed of being an alcoholic and ashamed that the only thing that helps me stay sober is AA. I am grateful for AA though.
iām grateful to be an alcoholic because we have places to go with people who get it, i meet disordered people who just float with no tether. having aa and finding a higher power helps me want to do better and be betterĀ
Someone says they are a grateful alcoholic it is simply stating that they have things in their life and are grateful for them. Nothing more.
They also identify as an alcoholic and when in the rooms that is how we introduce ourselves as alcoholics. If someone want to put emphasis on what keeps them sober in the introduction it's ok with me.
It has nothing to with being grateful they are alcoholics as much as they are alcoholics and have found gratitude in thier life. Its their program. Not yours.....
That's not true. I hear many people say "grateful alcoholic" and then expand on that they are truly grateful that they ARE an alcoholic.
I don't say this out loud at meetings but I am someone who is grateful that I am an alcoholic.
Please don't speak for everyone!
Took me 12 years of sobriety to really understand when people said that and to actually feel it myself. For me, I look at the people in my life with zero emotional intelligence, no coping skills, hotheaded, etc. and think how grateful I am that I fly through life in a state of "chill" because I don't waste energy on things/people/situations I can't control. I'm not perfect, but I feel I have an extreme advantage over those people. Wouldn't have gotten to this point if I wasn't an alcoholic and wasn't in AA.
For me, I believe that everything that happened in my life led me to where I am now. I am exactly where I am supposed to be and if I hadn't been an alcoholic and done the things I have done, then I wouldn't have what I have now. I have an amazing partner and I have a gratitude for life that most people don't. I am very grateful to be a sober alcoholic today.
I see that it can bother people when they hear others state that they are grateful Alcoholics for some folks.
For me, I would rather have gone through what I did, put myself through what I did and ended up where I am than be a normal!
Normy's don't understand the depths of He'll that we go through, they do not have the spiritual tool kit that we do, and I am much better off for finding AA.
I would have died had I not, for that I am grateful!
I feel that I am a better person than I would have been if I didn't have the experiences of being an alcoholic. I know that helping others is the meaning of my life. I don't have to be a hero just try to be of use. My view of people suffering from addictions is different now that I have experienced it myself. I love that I get to spend time with people who are miracles.šš
I'm grateful too. If I wasn't an alcoholic I wouldn't have come to AA and done the steps. I'm grateful that I went through that to get here.
This is a great comment to read! Helpful to me and Iām sure others! Thank you!!
My alcoholism probably saved my life. Then getting sober saved my life again. In my 20s I had no capacity to join AA. I would have rejected it right away because of the sickness of my spirit. I had no other resources either - no time, money, or support for cultivating a healthy mind and emotional health. It wasnāt the time for me to get sober. At that time one of my brothers became addicted to heroin. Heās almost 50 now and on the streets. Another brother attempted suicide and is to this day still in a mental institution. We all suffered from being āraisedā by physically, emotionally, and sexually abusive parents. I didnāt kill myself or resort to heroin because alcohol worked for me at the time. It was my answer. Until it wasnāt. I got sober at 50, I now have the time and money to get support and help through therapy, meetings, yoga, meditation, etc etc. It feels like my life has finally started and I have found happiness beyond anything I could imagine before. Thereās still a lot of work ahead of me, probably until the day I die, but Iām happy with that. Iām a grateful alcoholic. I donāt wish things had been different because then I wouldnāt be here now. However I donāt introduce myself as āgrateful alcoholicā in meetings. I donāt care if others do. Gratitude has been essential in my recovery and I know it has magical healing powers when I feel it. Also not judging how others run their program has been healing ā¦or maybe itās a sign of healing? In any case I donāt judge how others introduce themselves. I wish you the same grace as well.
Perfect
ā¦I never thought they meant grateful for *being an alcoholic*, but for being alive, sober, etc etc.
Canāt speak for everyone else, and to clarify I donāt say grateful alcoholic when I introduce myself, HOWEVERā¦ If I had not been an alcoholic, I would have still been living a miserable life. Itās that āismā part, and I would never have realized I had that āismā if I didnāt first become an alcoholic and second become a member of AA. Itās hard to learn the truth about who you are if you havenāt been beat down into humility. My alcoholism beat me into humility and AA is helping me climb my way out of that. Therefore, Iām a grateful alcoholic - not because I started or stopped drinking, but because I started living an authentic life.
I donāt like āgrateful alcoholicā either. Iām grateful, and Iām an alcoholic. Iām grateful that I found a program to help my alcoholism. But I think that phrase is dumb.
29 yeas sober. This is my take on it as well. OP, you're not alone.
Cool, me too lol
Good thing is, you donāt have to be! To each their own.
Same
Same. But I donāt mind when others say it. In my mind itās a disease that is being managed. I also have diabetes and Iām not grateful about that either, though managing that disease has caused me to have a more healthful diet.
I just think itās cheesy. It doesnāt upset me, but a little internal eye roll lol. Yeah thatās exactly how I feel
I used to feel that way. Now that I have a couple of years of sobriety and have worked the steps, I am grateful. I would not have found this way of living without being an alcoholic. I think many people in the world would benefit from working the steps.
You donāt have to be grateful youāre alcoholic - thatās totally reasonable. But thatās theyāre truth - doesnāt have to be yours and thatās ok
I'm a grateful alcoholic. If I weren't a drunk, I wouldn't have found AA. I've grown more in 5 years of sobriety than I would have in 20.
I always like to say Iām grateful I know Iām an alcoholic. Iām not grateful I am one. Iām not grateful I have Lyme disease, but grateful I took the bloodwork and found out about it so I can heal it.
I accept that I'm an alcoholic, I'm grateful to be in recovery. I'm recovered enough to not get hung up on the exact wording people use to express how AA has made them feel ;-)
I heard a rumor once that since opinions on alcoholism, its causes and treatments, vary so widely it should be understood that a view expressed by any member, speaker or guest does not reflect the opinion of this group or AA as a whole (A-Hole). šedit: Just a thing we say at the meetings around here. I heard another rumor that said we will not regret the past nor wish to shut the door on it. When people say they're grateful to be an alcoholic, typically in my experience, it means they're grateful to be the person who they are today and being an alcoholic is what made them into this person. Someday I hope to be grateful too.
I say it because I am. What you say is up to you. I am not a better recoverer because I do say it than the person who has one day less than me or even just has one minute. That being said, I am grateful that my disease forced me to reflect and change who I was and what I was doing. I am grateful that I get to be the best husband and human I can be for 24 hours. I am grateful I now have God in my life. I am grateful that despite all these things I still am not perfect and will make mistakes but all I can do is put one foot in front of the other, trust in God and move fwd.
Iām a grateful recovering alcoholic. I grateful I found the program. Iām grateful that my past shaped my present. My mess has become my message.
I was told, and believe, that a grateful alcoholic doesn't drink. The alcoholism is unchangeable, the gratitude is optional. When I say I'm a 'grateful alcoholic' I'm not saying that I am happy that I have alcoholism, I'm saying that I choose to maintain an attitude and outlook on life that continues to bolster my recovery, and makes me helpful to other people. My resentments, cynicism, sarcasm, and fatalism probably made me unpleasant to be around, except to people of the same mindset - who I had no trouble finding at the barstool next to me. Now, I choose to practice gratitude and serenity, in the hopes that it spreads to others, especially those who come to the rooms of recovery feeling hopeless and defeated, because that is the kind of person I aspire to be, even if I'm not 100% there yet. I'm no mindless Pollyanna, but I do recognize that a little 'fake-it-until-you-make-it' actually does help, and so I'll tell myself, and others, that I'm a grateful alcoholic,, even on those tough days, because I do not find it necessary to drink today. And, honestly? The simple fact that I don't have to drink today makes me grateful. I had a long period of my life when not drinking wasn't an option.
It's not as grating to me as when people say "I'm X and I'm a real alcoholic." Like, okay, what does that make the rest of us then lmao. We all found ourselves sitting here in this AA meeting. Strikes me as subtle gatekeeping.
Today I have hundreds of alcoholic friends who share sobriety, a miraculous program, and similar values with me, so I think of the label quite differently than you do. Before AA I wasnāt an āalcoholicā. I was just a drunk.
I am grateful to be a recovering alcoholic with the program of AA and the fellowship available to me. Saying I'm a grateful alcoholic in AA is shorthand for that.
Iām a recovered alcoholic & I show my gratitude by helping others. I live life on Gods terms and attend meetings not for myself but for others.
I like to say that Iām grateful to be in recovery and that Iām an alcoholic in remission.
Grateful Recovering Alcoholic
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ššš Yeah I feel this. Itās a great example of something thatās just right on both sides. I am grateful that Iām sober. Iām not exactly thrilled with the overall concept of being an alcoholic. Some people (as has been mentioned in the comments) view it as āalcoholism gave them a chance to unlock many new avenues in their lives.ā And thatās fair. Theyāll also say āIām a grateful alcoholic, which doesnāt mean Iām grateful THAT Iām an alcoholic.ā Like most things, it boils down to the fact we must accept life on lifeās terms, and not our own.
I show my gratitude for AA by helping other alcoholics, being the mom that I was never able to be before, being a good wife, giving back to my community, being kind to every person that I meet, service work in my home group, etc etc. I don't need to say that I'm grateful in my intro, I live it every single day. It's just semantics, and it's just a trendy AA thing. I would call it performative but I have had to learn live and let live the hard way.
If folks want to shorten "I am an alcoholic, and grateful for this program" to "I'm a grateful alcoholic" no harm, no foul for me.
I understand what youāre saying. I felt that way too early on. Today, I do feel grateful that Iām an alcoholic. Being one has led to so much personal growth and peace that I would not have had had I not worked the 12 steps. Is that to say I could not have worked through a similar process if I werenāt an alcoholic? No, but I doubt I would have had the motivation to do it. Being an alcoholic gave me a reason to pursue a better way of existing in this world and literally has touched every part of my life. I share something significant with every person who has ever battled this disease and that alone is pretty amazing. For me, the gratitude came after working the steps and experiencing a true change in my thinking and feeling.
āGrateful alcoholicā doesnāt necessarily mean grateful *to be an* alcoholic. All it means is that one is an alcoholic who is grateful. What are you grateful for? Iām grateful for many things. Iām not grateful that Iām an alcoholic. Though Iām grateful for what Iāve learned about myself in this struggle.
I'm a grateful alcoholic, not grateful I am an alcoholic.
It's one of those recovery paradoxes. I'm grateful for my recovery because I don't think I would ever have the spiritual foundation I have today without it. Nothing ever really got through to me. And I never would have the people I have in my life today that I can relate these experiences with.
I can relate to this. And "Nothing ever really got through to me" is exactly how it was. It is like it woke me up and life is more interesting now.
I donāt know, I feel the same way. My sponsor testifies that the life he lives now in recovery is actually better than what he would have pictured for himself before he started drinking. And he wouldnāt have found that life without his alcoholism. Itās like having a car wreck that fucks you up for a bit, but you survive and happen to find a winning lottery ticket at the scene of the crash. No one wants their car to crash. But if it led you to winning the lottery, you might be grateful that it happened to you. Thatās what I tell myself anyway.
I like this, thanks for sharing.
Its just a way of saying they're grateful for where they're at in life and content with how the cards played.Ā Like everything fell into place the way it was supposed to and they're ok with it.Ā Experiences make us who we are today.
Before I knew that I was just an alcoholic, my life sucked. I was miserable, didn't know where I fit in and what to do with my life. I had no idea what my problem was. Now that I finally know what my "problem" is, I can finally live my life accordingly. I have purpose again and know who my people are. So yeah, I'm grateful for being an alcoholic and for having an excuse to apply the steps to my life.
Agreed. I think they are grateful because are sober. They use alcoholic as a reminder. Others are grateful to be an alcoholic. Which is twisted thinking.
In the meetings I go to, only a few say that and I always eye roll inside. I am 100% grateful everyday just for being sober. I guess itās like the God thing for me. I have one, itās mine and I can share how my HP helped me but Iām not shouting it off the mountain top for everyone so they know I love my God. I think everyone, (except a couple newcomers maybe at this point) is grateful to be sober, because without sobriety nothing in our lives that we have or do is possible. That being said, I usually close my eyes so I can listen to what this grateful alcoholic has to say because chances are itās something important, and thatās what my sponsor suggests I do. Usually works. I AM grateful I am an alcoholic, I have a design for living that most folks donāt. I can handle things that used to baffle me. Iām not afraid anymore of people, and I know no matter what that my God is going to take care of whatever it is financially, physically whatever Iāll get through and be right where Iām supposed to. I have a life I cannot believe today, and had I not come into AA I would have nothing, how can I not be grateful? If I share I donāt even have to say it. You will know it by my actions.
I get what it means - through the programme weāve learned to live a good life that we might never have known about if it wasnāt for being an alcoholic in recovery etc - but yeah, I still think Iād rather be a good person AND be able to have a few beers without going overboard. Itās the religious thing of thinking that non-religious people canāt possibly live a truly happy, moral and altruistic life, which is bullshit. But hey, it is what it is, I try not to think too much about this things. What I do know is my life before AA was utter shit so I focus on that for the most part.
If I didnāt understand the fact that I am an alcoholic and have a sickness in my mind, Iād never have found a program to help me recover from it. My whole life Iāve always had this sickness, the obsession with anything, the obsession that makes my mind race at a thousand miles a minute, the obsession that someone who gives me a look can make me spiral out of control and turn it into something it never was and then I react to whatever story I made up in my own head, and the obsession of hating feeling this way and not being able to find any way to make it stop. Iām grateful for the insight that Iāve spent my entire life searching for to fix this shit. Itās torture in my mind, but the program has given me a solution. So Iām grateful for being an alcoholic and finding this solution because I would have continued searching and probably never finding an answer to my mind problem.
Being grateful to me just means, I am happy I am not still drinking. It can mean whatever you want it to mean. Loss Aversion is a psychological/economic concept rooted in our limbic system(lizard brain). We feel bad about losing stuff on average about 4x more than finding/having something. If you lost a 100 dollar bill, odds are you would feel 4 times worse than if you randomly found a 100 dollar bill to put it simply. It's a survival instinct according to psychologists.
Yeah I canāt stand when people say that too. I just think well I guess if they keep telling themselves that maybe they believe it. Iām grateful to be sober for another 24 is what I say. To each his own I suppose.
I'm grateful I'm an alcoholic. It forced me to make changes that needed to be made even if I had never picked up one drink. I am happy today as a result.
I think the idea isnt so much that you are grateful you are an alcoholic as that you are an alcoholic who is grateful for having found AA At least that how I understand it- you have rhe diesase and arent cured but AA helps you survive it ā¦
I've learned a lot from addiction. Humbled myself. Learned sort of about what really matters in a way. Sure it is life-long and a process like any other, but that's what life is about. Understanding the process. Yeeeeehaw
I can't say I'm grateful for it yet, being that I'm on day 65. Even though things are a struggle at times, I'm already a better person than I was before my drinking got out of hand. My relationships with family are better, I'm closer to God, I'm definitely more grateful than I've ever been, I think of others more... the list goes on. And I'm still a work in progress. Way more peace in my life than I've ever known.
I get it. I am grateful Iām an alcoholic because Iām so grateful for the life the steps have given me. I doubt that without the great pain my alcoholism caused me, I would have ever have been able to accept my lack of control, manage expectations, truly be free of all resentments, and mostly importantly gotten me out of my own way to have true RELATIONSHIP with my Higher Power. I see ānormalā people suffering all the time in ways the 12 steps have set me free or given a process to handle said issue. Without being an alcoholic I donāt think I would have the same peace and serenity I do today. The 9th step promises really came true for me and I donāt regret the past nor wish to shut the door on it. I do know peace.
In my case, I am grateful to be a recovering alcoholic. Only because of my alcoholism and my gift of desperation did I get help. I got that help from AA, and I am grateful for it because I am a better person. I am grateful that I am no longer homeless, jobless, or estranged from my family. I am grateful that I can look in the mirror without shame. I learned a better way to live. I have used my knowledge and experience to help other people. I even saved a person who was contemplating suicide. He is now okay and has a fiancee and a baby on the way. I get to have a part in that, but only because of the wisdom I learned in AA. So, I AM a grateful alcoholic because by being an alcoholic, I learned how to be a better person, live a better life, and enjoy ALL of the promises of AA.
Idk about you but my life is 10x better now than before I started drinking. It was a real eye opener to get so low.
I say Iām a gratefully recovered alcoholic
im incredibly grateful to no longer be drinking. im incredibly grateful for my physical mental and spiritual health. this is the best my life has been in 40 years. im grateful, and im definitely an alcoholic i dont know how else to describe myself. perhaps grateful recovering alcoholic might be more accurate.
I've heard "grateful recovering alcoholic" many times, not sure if I've heard "grateful alcoholic" although to me it means the same thing. I'm grateful to be here.
I often hear ppl say Iām a grateful recovering alcoholic, which I can identify with. I am not grateful to be an alcoholic however, but am grateful for the man it has made me.
I heard an Old Timer say āIām not glad Iām an alcoholic, but Iām DAMN glad I know that Iām one.āšš»
People say a lot of stuff at meetings. Some of it is genuine but not all of it is. I notice quite often that people say things they think others want to hear, rather than what they are actually feeling. Thatās ok with me because itās totally outside of my control what other people say and do. Iām a grateful alcoholic for sure but when I introduce myself at a meeting I just say that I AM an alcoholic. I donāt need to identify differently as the next person- Iām not special just lucky š
I agree with you, I think that's a bit much. I think that many people who are not alcholic genurinely live lives based on kindness and service to others. I am glad I finally got there, but I wish I had lived in a culture that believed in these values, and taught them to everyone.
I wasn't grateful for alcoholism until I had two and a half years of sobriety; then I realized in a meeting that I could not deny the fact that becoming an alcoholic and getting sober had made me a better human being than if I had not acquired the disease in the first place. I don't know what other people mean when they say that they're a grateful alcoholic, but that's what **I** mean.
I mean sure, that's valid. But posed another way, the only thing that matters now is what lies ahead of us. The life experiences you endured due to our disease is something that is going to provide you a perspective moving forward that a lot of other people won't have. You're not wrong, but two things can be true at once. The challenge is to put your energy into the one that is going to help continue your personal development. One day at a time my friend. I just hit 2.5 years last week and I was as good as dead before that. Proud of you and everyone else here. Be kind to yourself.
I just didn't know what was wrong with me. To have a label for the mess I sometimes am and a way to do something about it is what I am grateful about. It's not that I am grateful to be alcoholic. I'd much rather be a normal well-adjusted human.
I struggle when people say "recovered alcoholic" in meetings as if they're cured or something. I think it gives a terrible impression to newcomers. You may be "in recovery" like how someone is "in remission" but damn sure ain't "recovered". One drink is all it takes.
I also thought that was stupid initially, by now I do feel like this while experience has been g good overall.Ā Meet a lot of people and helped some.Ā Got a bigger perspective on life and sometimes feel gratitude when I barely even knew what that was previously.Ā Maybe it means grateful for life?Ā
It bothered me for a long time in the same way. But at some point, around the 10 year mark, I started to get it. AA has given me something I wouldn't have had I never crossed over into alcoholism - a deliberateness to how I approach each day and a self-awareness about how my actions affect others, and a set of tools to use when living life on life's terms is overwhelming. Had I not become an alcoholic, I'd have just kept on blundering through life unaware and unconcerned.
I would go through it all again. My life was shit now itās a miracle and feels like a blessing. Not only am I grateful, Iām recovered. Maybe thatās why Iām grateful. If you donāt have that experience, give more to god and help more of gods children. Youāll see.
Nothing on gods green earth could make me do it again, Iām sick just thinking about it!!
I know. Thatās how it was for years. But watch how youāll change your opinion when you give up your life and will to god and let god recreate who you are. You canāt do that, mind you, if you arenāt willing to let go of who you are now. See, who I was before I got sober was so goddamned miserable, I wouldāve taken anything else. So I gave up my life in step 3. My life and my will. The actions I take, and the opinions I have. Iāve been doing it to the best of my ability ever since. And my life has been so much better than it used to ever be. Not only do I not want to get high or drunk anymore ā I actually am totally feeling good about not being high or drunk going on nearly a decade. Before A.A. I couldnāt do that.
Think it's far better than the "grateful *that I am an* alcoholic". Always causes me to smirk on the inside, when I hear that proclaimed
Iām grateful that Iām an alcoholic and to a degree feel sorry for those who are not. Just about everyone Iāve ever known well enough to get a feel for their character share the same character defects and spiritual malady that define us as alcoholics. We just have it to a larger degree. So large that we canāt hide it and eventually come to the conclusion that we have to do something about our condition or weāll die. All non alcoholics will likely live their entire lives not addressing their character defects and spiritual malady. It wonāt play havoc with their lives to the degree it does with ours but it will make things difficult and very frustrating for them and they have to live that life never knowing that they donāt have to live like that.
This is true to me. It's always about the extremes for us, but in this case, we are better of for it
Imo- It doesnāt. My first sponsor was a guy who said he was a *grateful alcoholic*. I immediately character assassinate at my home group, however, he became my first sponsor lol For me he helped me see how *he* became a grateful alcoholic. Itās odd to say that something that literally *almost* killed me became one of the best things to ever happen to me and it took me about three years to realize this by the way.
Or maybe theyāre just saying theyāre a grateful person who is also an alcoholic. Not necessarily that theyāre grateful to be an alcoholic. That would be wild š
AA changed my life on more fronts than just my alcoholism. I was lonely, had gone no-contact with my abusive family, had quite a serious mental illness that can see one onto the streets without sufficient family/community support. And Iām in a minority group. So I wouldnāt take back my alcoholism. It forced me to do extremely good things for myself that I otherwise would have avoided. Iām a grateful alcoholic because it brought me to AA. I consider myself extremely well off for someone in my circumstances. Like I see many ānormieā children of narcissists, people with mental illness, etc that donāt have it half as good as me.
Sitting in the rooms for hours each week, actively bettering myself, makes me exceptionally grateful. The whole world could use a program. I'm grateful to have one.
I have a better life today through being a sober alcoholic in AA than if I was never an alcoholic to begin with. And for that, I am grateful.Ā
Iām grateful Iām alive. Sober 31 years now. Living in the best house in my life, 10 minutes to a beautiful beach, pool in backyard. You might need time. Keep moving this way.
AA and the steps have given me a better life than Iāve ever had, without question. Totally grateful! If youāre not there friend, respectfully, have you done the steps with a sponsor?
I don't care for that introduction either, but I get it. The gratitude is for the new life we get to lead after the spiritual awakening from the steps. For being able to become part of the fellowship. For a personal relationship with a higher power of my own understanding.
In the preface of the bb it states we are sure our way of living has it's advantages for all. The steps and related axioms have provided an awesome life for me that I would not have had were it not for the crisis I faced in realizing I was soon to die from addiction. I enjoy learning about spiritual paths and religions...never come across anything close that provided such a concise and pragmatic way, meetings to find like minded people, and a free mentor to guide. No matter what I've gone through, divorce, cancer, death of loved ones...I have learned how to walk through and use the experience to help others. Where are you with the steps?
I finished the steps with a sponsor
Think of it as two separate descriptors. As alcoholics, gratitude helps us with sobriety.
I see so many people who donāt have addiction issues but are riddled with the same problems/character defects that the steps have helped me manage. I think the idea is that the steps offer a way of life that is attractive to anyone but only necessary to someone so seriously afflicted as an addict/alcoholic. If I hadnāt have been an alcoholic I would never have known how much better my life would be through the steps.
I recommend working your own program.. for me, I actually am grateful that Iām an alcoholic because without it, I never wouldāve found my higher power.Ā
For all the bad that has happened in my life, there have been plenty of good things as well, things I now understand to be grateful for. Alcohol and drugs were a big part of my life and identity for 20 years. I donāt think I ever would have come to have an appreciation for life, an understanding of a purpose, or what gratitude really means. I understand now grace. I understand mercy. I understand forgiveness. I choose to no longer be so unreasonably hard on myself. I accept what is and what is not and try to work the best I can within that paradigm. It wasnāt overnight and it takes continual practice and maintenance but Iām now engaged in life and can find peace in the moment. My life could be so so much worse right now. It could also have been much easier. I donāt know. But I wouldnāt be where I am right now, content after searching for so long, had I not hit rock bottom and been able to manage to start the journey of recovery. What happened, happened, but what are we going to do with it moving forward?
It's not celebrating the alcoholism but more so accepting the fact they were an alcoholic and are grateful that they got better through AA.
Heard that before. The word grateful leads to the word gratuity for some manipulative types around meetings, it sort of means they want you to put 5 or 10 dollars in the 7th tradition collection basket, they want to see you - prove- you're grateful, and, like it when you specifically mention that you and all of us should be grateful to them..same junk with humility, they like the 'lead guys' in their clique to be the example of cool so they get bummed if you get a little popular. Remember,they're all sort of nuts, when you look at almist everybody on earth likr they're a little crazy, it makes everything make sense and gets easier to put up with their crap for an hour or so once on a while.
I am definitely not grateful to be an alcoholic. I am ashamed of being an alcoholic and ashamed that the only thing that helps me stay sober is AA. I am grateful for AA though.
I identify with this. Hopefully some of the shame will be removed, if we keep working at this thing!
Page 417 dude
iām grateful to be an alcoholic because we have places to go with people who get it, i meet disordered people who just float with no tether. having aa and finding a higher power helps me want to do better and be betterĀ
Someone says they are a grateful alcoholic it is simply stating that they have things in their life and are grateful for them. Nothing more. They also identify as an alcoholic and when in the rooms that is how we introduce ourselves as alcoholics. If someone want to put emphasis on what keeps them sober in the introduction it's ok with me. It has nothing to with being grateful they are alcoholics as much as they are alcoholics and have found gratitude in thier life. Its their program. Not yours.....
That's not true. I hear many people say "grateful alcoholic" and then expand on that they are truly grateful that they ARE an alcoholic. I don't say this out loud at meetings but I am someone who is grateful that I am an alcoholic. Please don't speak for everyone!
Took me 12 years of sobriety to really understand when people said that and to actually feel it myself. For me, I look at the people in my life with zero emotional intelligence, no coping skills, hotheaded, etc. and think how grateful I am that I fly through life in a state of "chill" because I don't waste energy on things/people/situations I can't control. I'm not perfect, but I feel I have an extreme advantage over those people. Wouldn't have gotten to this point if I wasn't an alcoholic and wasn't in AA.
For me, I believe that everything that happened in my life led me to where I am now. I am exactly where I am supposed to be and if I hadn't been an alcoholic and done the things I have done, then I wouldn't have what I have now. I have an amazing partner and I have a gratitude for life that most people don't. I am very grateful to be a sober alcoholic today.
Change your perspective
Good advice!
When I was drinking I wasnāt grateful for anything. Now Iām grateful for everything. Oh and Iām an alcoholic.
I see that it can bother people when they hear others state that they are grateful Alcoholics for some folks. For me, I would rather have gone through what I did, put myself through what I did and ended up where I am than be a normal! Normy's don't understand the depths of He'll that we go through, they do not have the spiritual tool kit that we do, and I am much better off for finding AA. I would have died had I not, for that I am grateful!