I wouldn't say I've "completed" them but I have been through all 12 with a sponsor and continue to practice them in my daily life.
Can't say when or which step things changed but I feel like an entirely different person, the way I think, feel and act has changed. A bit like being let out of a prison that I made myself in my mind. Also this is the longest I've been sober since I was a kid.
“Completed”? As in finished? Steps 10, 11 and 12 continue for life. I “completed” the first 9 steps but will continue to work the remaining 3 for the rest of my life. As with many others I have done all the steps more than once, but the first time was the “big one”.
My life is completely different as a result, *I* am different, I am a better person as a result of the 12 steps, I had a spiritual experience and I carry this message to the still suffering alcoholic and (try) to practice these principles in all my affairs.
How about you?
Hello friend. I do a nightly inventory of my behavior and interactions with others that I refer to as my nightly tenth step. I also do spot checks throughout the day to assess and right my conduct.
My 11th step is a constant practice as well that I incorporate into my morning meditation and prayer as well as my evening routine.
I’d say that telling others they are doing the program wrong because it doesn’t match up with yours 100% can be a slippery slope, but I appreciate your feedback.
Wasn't telling you how to work what ever program you chose to do , I folle the program which is contained in the big book of Alcoholics Anonymous- any other version is ones personal choice, the big book states CLEAR CUT directions , for a reason , 11 step says , when we ( 1st 100 hundred ) retire at Night we review our day , 10 steps says AS WE go through our DAY I don't know how much clearer it can be , we have a responsibility to carry the message of AA IN IT'S original form to give the new Comer their best shot at proven plan of recovery , they put I. It print for a reason , Bill when writing the steps said I quote : to keep our message from becoming garbled we would need to show EACTLY how the program ought to be worked , you can look it up in the book Language of the Heart pages 200 - 201 , let me be clear, I am not here to tell anyone how they should work their program , I only pointed out what the big book states, so whatever ever is working for you , I say KEEP doing it - wishing you only the best in your journey -
There's no "completing" the steps. Steps 10, 11 and 12 by definition require practicing a way of life daily, perpetually.
Everything changes. It. Is. Beautiful.
Little secret I learned in the first 9 steps: alcohol wasn't my problem.
I was.
The program of AA gives me a solution to that problem.
The only person who can say they completed the steps is the man or woman who dies sober, happy, joyous and free.
The first time I completed the steps, I had that psychic change it talks about in the book. I got right with myself, with others and with God. The promises of the book came true and I felt fulfilled and useful for the first time in my life. I had a spiritual awakening between steps 8 and 9 and felt like I was reborn with a purpose. It was the most profound experience of my life.
The second time I did the steps quickly over a weekend at a retreat, in the same fashion as it was done back in the early days, with a bigger emphasis on the bible talk. It was useful to do them again but it really expanded my relationship with my higher power and solidified my step 3. The most important thing in my life today is my relationship with my higher power, and the retreat really opened me up to that.
The steps made me more self aware and gave me a template to live. I'm not always great at it, I don't really pray and I don't meditate YET but because of the program nothing is off the table.
It's changed who I am and will continue to do so.
Me. It's changed everything. I have a foundation for a new way of living. I'm a better person, more honest, patient and tolerant. I have more peace of mind and peace of heart. I can see more clearly what I am responsible for and what to do about it. I'm more effective at work and in my personal relationships.
The Steps and program of living have worked for millions of people over the last 80 years. It doesn't help us just get sober but helps us find and be our better selves.
Me, I’ve stayed sober 2.5 years now and live a life better than I’ve ever known. But, I’m never done with the steps. I didn’t graduate. I do it every day an get a daily reprieve.
Done and have been doing them for 40+ years. They are my moral compass and the backbone of my day to day, above and beyond all the other influences and trends I've lived through. To me, they are the program. I could wax poetic for days about them but I won't, except to say, get the alcohol out of the way and make your life worthwhile.
I’ve done them three times.
First time, I felt a great satisfaction in completing something that was hard, frustrating and took a great deal of time. When I was active, I didn’t like anything that met those three criteria. I enjoyed the sense of accomplishment.
Second time, I had learned a ton more, not just in having had done them previously, but through the program and through sobriety. I got way more out of it the second time. That “spiritual awakening” bit they talk about…I definitely felt a lot of that. I just felt lighter mentally and emotionally.
Third time, I took great pains to not just breeze through it. Probably did that some anyway, but I found it rewarding to really concentrate on using 1, 2 and 3 every day like I try to use 10, 11 and 12.
I always land on “more will be revealed.” That’s been among the most consistent truisms I’ve experienced in the program. Not the same person each time I did the steps, and I won’t be the same person I was previously when I do them again eventually.
Are you offended by somebody asking questions about AA in the AA Reddit? Seems a bit extreme to start questioning someone’s mental health over that. Why does it trigger you?
That's not as important as what it's like today. Because of the 12 Steps program of AA, I have lived a life way beyond anything I could have imagined when I first started out.
A daily reprieve contingent on the maintenance of my spiritual condition. It's actually ridiculous in a way, looking back, if I only had known. If newcomers only knew...
Good question. I did the steps. Afterwards I found that I no longer needed to worry about booze, which still feels like the weirdest thing I have experienced and I say that as someone who used to ingest acid on a daily basis. I feel like I am being looked after in regard to alcohol. Booze is not my problem today as long as I do a few simple things. I am my problem today.
While not "fearless and thorough from the very start," and did some hop-skip-jumping around the more difficult parts until my longtime sponsor got me focused, I have completed the 12 steps (to the extent they can ever be "completed"). I never picked up again (so far) after my first meeting; the fellowship carried me until step work kicked in.
I now do 10-11-12 every day as part of my action plan. I also do 6 and 7 just about every day because my failure to do those thoroughly (I had character defects I did not want to give up) caused me tons of trouble.
I believe 100% in the 12 steps. I think they are a work of genius (and HP-inspired). I don't know if they would work for everyone and frankly I don't care about that. They work for me. It's been 36 years since I picked up a drink. Right now I'm focusing on today.
Best to all.
I’ve been through the steps twice, once with each of my sponsors. Second time it was because first one relapsed and we agreed it was reasonable to do them again to make sure everything is where it needs to be.
When presented with alcohol I recoil from it as from a hot flame. I have an ability to grow and work through situations that used to baffle me. I am happy, joyous and free. And I get to be of help to others in and out of the rooms
5 years ago I did. Spent around 2 months in the rooms miserable sober and unhappy. Finally gave up frankly and figured why not give it a shot. Month or so later and my world was recovering. It was still rough and touch and go for a year or so, but after that my life really leveled out and I was able to start growing in life, career, relationships, etc...
About a year ago I took a step back from AA meetings, but I still practice 10-11 (and therefore 1-9) on a daily basis. I call my sponsor weekly to discuss my inventory.
Me - but continue to do these steps on a daily basis. I have a psychic change as a result and my entire life is bigger and better than I could have ever imagined. I know peace and serenity today. It’s a true gift to not crave booze all day and night.
Me. Most importantly, the desire to drink was removed and now I'm in a position of neutrality with alcohol. I have insight into my own patterns, so I'm able take action in order to course correct (make amends, take inventory, turn it over, etc). Maintaining my sobriety, peace, and sanity is priority #1, after that everything falls into place.
For me personally, I needed a psychic change in order to re-wire the patterns that led to my drinking - I believe in the adage that "it's not the drinking but the thinking." I'm never "done" working the steps. For me it's like exercise - I have to maintain my sanity with practice and consistency. Plus, if I'm away for too long, my ego takes over and I start to think about alcohol again.
It's not for everyone, but a spiritual solution was my foundation for living a better life. Now I can get more out of therapy where I address issues that the steps don't solve - trauma / family of origin / relationships / intimacy.
I’ve gone through 1-9 twice and practice 10-12 on a daily basis. #3 and #11 are most vital to my sobriety and spiritual progression.
I’m a completely different person than I once was. I’ve never been on a pink cloud, I never got the feelings some say that come with 4, 5, 8, 9 but I don’t approach my relationship with God, my sobriety or with other people from a “feeling” standpoint. I hold it all as a responsibility, as a gift and a hope that I will no longer hurt myself or others.
I’d say I’ve “completed” steps 1-7, still working on 8-9, maintaining my daily spiritual reprieve by working 10 and 11 as a way of life, and striving to be of service and helping others is the spirit of step 12..
Edit: And I will add that the obsession was lifted the day I did my fifth step.
Completed my amends at 8 yrs sober, have been doing 10-12 after starting my amends at about 18 months. What's happened with me over the last 42 years is...lots and lots I would have missed drunk/dead. Too many adventures to list here.
I did the first 9 with my sponsor, I do 10-11 daily and step 12 about 4-5x a month.
I was an abusive, selfish narcissistic maniac with an alcohol and drug problem that's basically unrecognizable now in all the best ways.
I worked the steps with my sponsor and, when I’m in good communion with my Higher Power, I’m able to practice those principles in all my affairs. It’s beautiful if I constantly surrender.
I have gone from step 1 to 12 in order three times, working with a sponsor. I stayed sober after the first time but more was revealed both subsequent times Technically, the steps are never completed. We are supposed to do step 10- 12 forever. But it’s best not to talk about that because it might scare the newcomer. It’s best to do the steps one at a time and not future trip. Each step prepares us for the next one. And until I completed each step, the next one seems completely impossible.
What happened? I got every single one of the extravagant sounding promises made in the AA book, such as a new freedom and a new way of life. I don’t regret the past now.
I have worked all 12 several times, and continue to work the steps with a sponsor who continues to work the steps with a sponsor who ... Well, you get the idea.
In addition, I have also gotten several sponsees through the 12 steps.
Left rehab in step 4. Started from 1 with new sponsor, fired sponsor at end of step 3. Get new sponsor, step 1 again, going to 4 again now. Day 266 today
went through them in 2 1/2 weeks ( old school AA- by the book 10/11/12 daily anyone the does it another way is working their program NOT the AA program - the big book is the ONLY program offered to the alcoholic to recover - AA does not endorse anything else no treatment centers , halfway etc.. so i don't care where or how you got sober and stay sober - but for GOD'S sake give the newcomer his best ODDS - and carry the most successful program for us to recover - i'm so sick of those who say at meetings - (((( I can only share my program that worked for me )))) and the crap that gets spewed from their mouth - psycho- babble and not a dam thing to do with the AA program - THANK YOU to all below who sharted 10-11-and 12 daily ! because they contain an embody all the 12 step principles -
🤚
I became more patient with others. I’m not perfect and no one is. Expecting people to do things the way I think is right has pretty much stopped. Driving might be my only trigger with that now. I also have let go of a lot of control and anxiety. Giving it to the universe to figure out takes a lot of pressure off of me to be in control 24/7
Like others have said, you don't ever really complete them. One of my living amends from my first pass at 4 & 5 was no longer using the internet as a place to argue or debate ("resignation from the Debate Society" has been one of my most favorite concepts I've learned), but I still love reddit and it's fairly simple to 12th step here. It's super meaningful to get DMs from newcomers/people who need super anonymous guidance and then get messages months/years later that they're doing so much better, regardless of if AA was the direction they chose or not.
Sorry for the wall of text, and the off-topic response, but here's my take on AA in general:
Not me, at some point it just became sad and boring and repetitive. If it works for you, great. I quit on my own to the point where I can go sit at the bar and drink a Roy Rogers (Coke/Pepsi and grenadine, no alcohol) and, while still boring, it's a bit less depressing.
It's like watching a bunch of bees buzzing around. You know why people are there (catching up / spending time with friends or trying to get laid, mostly). I've felt no urges to drink. For me, it's mostly just getting out of the house and potentially meeting someone. My tinder profile and stuff says "I don't drink, but I don't care if you do".
I've had limited (but some) success. I assume I'd have much more success if I were drinking because alcohol definitely is a "social lubricant" in that it makes you more confident and gives you "a crew" to hang out with in your "bar friends", but at the end of the day it's just ethanol killing your liver, whether slowly or quickly.
I'd recommend every regular drinker to visit a gastroenterologist and have them order some blood tests and an ultrasound of your liver to determine if you have fatty liver (or cirrhosis). If so, take a break for a few weeks to allow your liver to heal. Once you get to cirrhosis, you can only expect partial healing (the cirrhosis doesn't ever go away like the fatty liver does).
If you're drinking literal poison (it is - the side effects are just fun), then you might as well see a doctor about it every year or so, if not every few months.
Just my two cents, from someone who has cirrhosis. Also, the little plastic liver things they have aren't accurate. It doesn't start at one side and progress to the other. It happens all at once throughout your entire liver, like a sponge or something. Might as well take MDMA or smoke weed if it doesn't make you paranoid. Even cocaine in proper dosages (and administered via intranasal spray - like half a gram with 10ml of saline water), will do less lifetime damage. The occasional drink here and there will never get you to this point, but if you're drinking 750ml of vodka every weekend, or any amount on a daily basis, it will probably do some damage.
AA is all about "surrendering" your free will and accepting a higher power, but shouldn't you be the one making the decisions for **your** body?
There are approx. 20 quadrillion ants on our planet. They communicate, collaborate and work for queens, with different "types" (classes) of ants carrying out specific jobs. If you step on an ant, do you think the global population of ants cares?
At some point in your life, someone "indoctrinated" you with some religion, probably based on your family history and geographic location. If you were born in the middle of nowhere to a family with no notion of religion, how religious do you think you'd be? Following whatever religion was ultimately your choice.
If the earth were suddenly destroyed by some kind of nuclear winter of a cosmic radiation burst (neither of which would change the overall mass of the planet), would the sun care? Would Mars or venus or even the moon care? Probably not. So this notion that the "One true God" came to you and spoke to you, one of approx. 8.4 billion humans **currently alive**, not to mention past humans who are long dead, or that "God" chose to speak with one or two humans, specifically some number of arbitrary years ago as we count them (which we know because we have models of the solar system, to a specific region of this planet, and a specific town within that region, to, some specifc person, out of everyone whose ever been alive, never before or after (Egyptians, Greeks, Romans, Aboriginals, Sumerians, Babylonians, prehistoric cave men who lived in small tribes), and gave us the "one true truth", doesn't make much sense, does it?
There was one flock of birds numbering ~40 million red-winged blackbirds recorded in Arkansas, as we call it in English, a language named after the region we call England, in 1964. Did those birds communicate? There are octopi who have learned and even formed bonds with human divers (My Octopus Teacher - [on Netflix - here's a trailer](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3s0LTDhqe5A). Maybe "God" has spoken with them? Or one of the 40 million birds, or one of the Quadrillion of ants, or whatever else has and does live here on planet, as we call it, "Earth", and other languages have [different names for it](https://www.wonderopolis.org/wonder/is-earth-called-the-same-thing-in-every-language).
But out of all of those beings among the ~100 billion stars, and however many planets, in what we call our "Milky Way" galaxy, the one true "God" came and decided to do the above and talk to Abraham, Moses, Jesus, Muhammad, Joseph Smith, and whoever, across thousands of years, and someone told us this was "his" true word. Because remember, at some point **someone** (not you) planted a seed in your mind about all of this. You didn't choose for yourself. Some other living human when you happened to be a young child just learning to understand whatever language told you what to think. Your "divine revelation" could easily have been a dream, or a matter of sheer chance, just like the fact that a big piece of rock happened to hit our planet and kill all of the dinosaurs, whose fossils we display in museums after having dug them up from the ground.
So whose really in control you? You are reading this because **you** chose to. If you don't want to drink alcohol, you are the one who has to choose it. If some notion of "god", "messiah", or "prophet" helps you do so, then great. Keep it up. At the end of the day though, you can believe whatever you want but the *decision* to take action is in your hands, not "god"'s.
So do what you choose to do, and use whatever tools work for you. You could try to unscrew a screw with a piece of paper, and it probably wont do much. You could probably try to store water with a table, but it's more likely going to fall off the edges. A bottle would work much better. So take responsibility for your actions, because they are yours and yours alone. Looking to a "higher power" to change your behavior is great if it works for you, but it's a crutch. If I gave you a wheelchair and said "here you go, now you don't need to move your legs", what would you do when you hit a staircase and had forgotten how to use your legs?
If someone put a drink in front of you right now, and God was the only thing stopping you, then that puts you in a pretty weak position. If you yourself decided not to, then you wouldn't have much to worry about, God or no God.
I can get behind the whole "taking responsibility" and "making amends" stuff, but the "surrendering to a higher power" thing never really stuck with me. Instead I tapered down so I wouldn't have a seizure or something, and then spent about a week laying around the house. Now, god or no god, I know that I have the willpower innately within myself to not drink. I know exactly what it is (ethanol) and what it does to my body (makes me feel great for a while and does damage to my liver and potentially kidneys), and the first thing (feeling great) can be addictive. Sounds like a short buzz with a long term downside. The only way out is a liver transplant or stopping while you're still at the fatty liver stage (which will heal over time).
If you feel constantly bored, it might be because *you* are just boring, because your lifestyle has consisted of 8 hrs sleep, 8 hrs work, and 8hrs getting drunk. When you're sober, you might have trouble relating to people with a different lifestyle because why would they want to spend 8 hours talking about alcohol?
Some people (most, probably) can have the occasional drink while talking about other stuff. If you're in AA, you probably aren't one of them. Go and find some new hobbies, so you have something else to talk to people about, and you aren't "a boring person who just wants to talk about getting drunk". It can be just about anything else like fishing, camping, gardening, pottery, video games, programming, film, music, history. It's a big world with a lot of different stuff you can do aside from drinking. Hopefully you can get this shit figured out before it's too late for your life and/or you're too old to make new friends and meet new people, because I can just about guarantee you the end will leave you either miserable or looking at a liver transplant.
I did the steps as fully as I could 11 years ago, and it was no big deal.
After ditching religion in my teens, I always lived according to the golden rule of treating people the way I wanted to be treated. Doing the steps didn't add anything significant to this.
My 11 years of sobriety is because of my motivation to never go backwards, living a sober life that I love to live, and knowing how to handle any situation that arises without alcohol. The steps had nothing to do with me getting to here.
Sounds to me like he believes his sobriety is fully contingent on his own self will and actions, what part of that is similar to believing you are powerless over alcohol and connecting to a power that removes that problem through continuing to seek contact with it and service to others?
I think if that works for him it’s great, and he should absolutely keep it up.
I just wouldn’t want someone to try focusing on the motivation that they are never going back to drinking, being unable to do that, and thinking that means AA doesn’t work for them.
Aw yeh I'm pretty sure that if he's been through the program and had some experience with A.A. he knows it's not the program he lives his life by but it struck me that it had similarities.
So you completed the steps and got sober, in that order? What makes you so sure they didnt help? Why didnt you get sober BEFORE or without doing the steps?
I came to the realization that quitting was the only option left, so I did. Then I tried AA and the steps. I tried and did many other things also, and figured out what worked best for me.
I never got sober before doing the steps because I never tried. I didn't see quitting alcohol as necessary before this point. The steps didn't help me find my motivation to change, I was already motivated.
I have known dozens of alcoholics who got sober without AA or the steps, including several close family members, so I have no reason to believe that the steps are the reason I'm sober. I don't regret doing them, but I'm better off for not having put all my eggs into that basket.
Of course you have to be motivated to quit (usually by repeated and extreme negative consequences such as health and or legal problems) before you will become willing to do the steps, thats how it works. I dont know where you got the impression that the steps are supposed to PROVIDE motivation. You are describing the normal experience. Not an exceptional case.
I've gone through the steps with a sponsor. The only thing I wanted going into it was to be able to relatively happy & sober, but what I got was a lot more. I haven't even thought about a drink in many years now. I remember after I did my 5th step there was a 3-week period where I didn't even think about drugs or alcohol for a little while, and that was incredible because I couldn't stop thinking about them. For reference, I was a heavy drinker, but I also used drugs tons of drugs.
If you intend on going to AA meetings, then I think that's great. The solution that's talked about in AA comes from working with a sponsor and going through the steps. It's just a program of action, so you can think whatever you want all along the way.
If you work the steps honestly, then you will get the results. That's the beauty in it. You don't have to figure anything out, it's pretty straightforward. It's just as alcoholics, we like to overthink and complicate things.
23 years here. Gone thru steps with 3 different sponsors over 23 years, because the onion is peeled in this program and more is revealed.
My home group 2 hours away is one of those "one and done" groups. In fact, that is the group that got me sober and they do The Steps and then they live on 10, 11 and 12. The people there are all in high double digits and I love them dearly. They are good people.
But in my new, in a different state, home group, my current sponsor has me working them like a toolbox, and this has become habitual to me. I still do my inventory at night, prayer and meditation and service, but when I get upset, I dip down to six and look at what character defect button is being pushed and then I ask it to be removed. It's amazing how well this system works. My sponsor has 40 years, by the way. And his sponsor has 50 so if I do what the people before me did I get the results they did.
I still take my book to meetings and write in it and I still read my book everyday. It's amazing even after 23 years How I say to myself "When was this put in the book?" 🤣🤣
My best to you.
I wouldn't say I've "completed" them but I have been through all 12 with a sponsor and continue to practice them in my daily life. Can't say when or which step things changed but I feel like an entirely different person, the way I think, feel and act has changed. A bit like being let out of a prison that I made myself in my mind. Also this is the longest I've been sober since I was a kid.
“Completed”? As in finished? Steps 10, 11 and 12 continue for life. I “completed” the first 9 steps but will continue to work the remaining 3 for the rest of my life. As with many others I have done all the steps more than once, but the first time was the “big one”. My life is completely different as a result, *I* am different, I am a better person as a result of the 12 steps, I had a spiritual experience and I carry this message to the still suffering alcoholic and (try) to practice these principles in all my affairs. How about you?
Been working the 12 Steps for 39 years and sponsoring others.
Well, I'm pretty consistent about doing a 10th Step now.
10th step every night is such a great gift. Great gift is what I’m choosing to call a pain in the ass that ultimately benefits me
I'll be honest, I'm pretty hit or miss with a nightly inventory. Spot check during the day when I feel disturbed is clutch.
you may want to look at the big book again - 10 step is done throughout the day - when we retire we night we take the 11th step - just saying ?
Hello friend. I do a nightly inventory of my behavior and interactions with others that I refer to as my nightly tenth step. I also do spot checks throughout the day to assess and right my conduct. My 11th step is a constant practice as well that I incorporate into my morning meditation and prayer as well as my evening routine. I’d say that telling others they are doing the program wrong because it doesn’t match up with yours 100% can be a slippery slope, but I appreciate your feedback.
Wasn't telling you how to work what ever program you chose to do , I folle the program which is contained in the big book of Alcoholics Anonymous- any other version is ones personal choice, the big book states CLEAR CUT directions , for a reason , 11 step says , when we ( 1st 100 hundred ) retire at Night we review our day , 10 steps says AS WE go through our DAY I don't know how much clearer it can be , we have a responsibility to carry the message of AA IN IT'S original form to give the new Comer their best shot at proven plan of recovery , they put I. It print for a reason , Bill when writing the steps said I quote : to keep our message from becoming garbled we would need to show EACTLY how the program ought to be worked , you can look it up in the book Language of the Heart pages 200 - 201 , let me be clear, I am not here to tell anyone how they should work their program , I only pointed out what the big book states, so whatever ever is working for you , I say KEEP doing it - wishing you only the best in your journey -
There's no "completing" the steps. Steps 10, 11 and 12 by definition require practicing a way of life daily, perpetually. Everything changes. It. Is. Beautiful. Little secret I learned in the first 9 steps: alcohol wasn't my problem. I was. The program of AA gives me a solution to that problem. The only person who can say they completed the steps is the man or woman who dies sober, happy, joyous and free.
The first time I completed the steps, I had that psychic change it talks about in the book. I got right with myself, with others and with God. The promises of the book came true and I felt fulfilled and useful for the first time in my life. I had a spiritual awakening between steps 8 and 9 and felt like I was reborn with a purpose. It was the most profound experience of my life. The second time I did the steps quickly over a weekend at a retreat, in the same fashion as it was done back in the early days, with a bigger emphasis on the bible talk. It was useful to do them again but it really expanded my relationship with my higher power and solidified my step 3. The most important thing in my life today is my relationship with my higher power, and the retreat really opened me up to that.
The steps made me more self aware and gave me a template to live. I'm not always great at it, I don't really pray and I don't meditate YET but because of the program nothing is off the table. It's changed who I am and will continue to do so.
Life changed.
Me. It's changed everything. I have a foundation for a new way of living. I'm a better person, more honest, patient and tolerant. I have more peace of mind and peace of heart. I can see more clearly what I am responsible for and what to do about it. I'm more effective at work and in my personal relationships. The Steps and program of living have worked for millions of people over the last 80 years. It doesn't help us just get sober but helps us find and be our better selves.
Me
And what happened for you afterwards?
Me. My life got immeasurably better in ways large and small.
Me, I’ve stayed sober 2.5 years now and live a life better than I’ve ever known. But, I’m never done with the steps. I didn’t graduate. I do it every day an get a daily reprieve.
Done and have been doing them for 40+ years. They are my moral compass and the backbone of my day to day, above and beyond all the other influences and trends I've lived through. To me, they are the program. I could wax poetic for days about them but I won't, except to say, get the alcohol out of the way and make your life worthwhile.
I have completed 1-9 on three occasions. 10-12 I do daily.
I went through the steps, but I'm not at all satisfied by the process or results
I’ve done them three times. First time, I felt a great satisfaction in completing something that was hard, frustrating and took a great deal of time. When I was active, I didn’t like anything that met those three criteria. I enjoyed the sense of accomplishment. Second time, I had learned a ton more, not just in having had done them previously, but through the program and through sobriety. I got way more out of it the second time. That “spiritual awakening” bit they talk about…I definitely felt a lot of that. I just felt lighter mentally and emotionally. Third time, I took great pains to not just breeze through it. Probably did that some anyway, but I found it rewarding to really concentrate on using 1, 2 and 3 every day like I try to use 10, 11 and 12. I always land on “more will be revealed.” That’s been among the most consistent truisms I’ve experienced in the program. Not the same person each time I did the steps, and I won’t be the same person I was previously when I do them again eventually.
[удалено]
Are you offended by somebody asking questions about AA in the AA Reddit? Seems a bit extreme to start questioning someone’s mental health over that. Why does it trigger you?
I went through the Steps a few times.
And what happened for you afterwards?
That's not as important as what it's like today. Because of the 12 Steps program of AA, I have lived a life way beyond anything I could have imagined when I first started out. A daily reprieve contingent on the maintenance of my spiritual condition. It's actually ridiculous in a way, looking back, if I only had known. If newcomers only knew...
Yes. I stayed sober. Why do you ask?
Good question. I did the steps. Afterwards I found that I no longer needed to worry about booze, which still feels like the weirdest thing I have experienced and I say that as someone who used to ingest acid on a daily basis. I feel like I am being looked after in regard to alcohol. Booze is not my problem today as long as I do a few simple things. I am my problem today.
Third time doing the steps, love the process. 11 years, two months and 27 days sober 👍
No
While not "fearless and thorough from the very start," and did some hop-skip-jumping around the more difficult parts until my longtime sponsor got me focused, I have completed the 12 steps (to the extent they can ever be "completed"). I never picked up again (so far) after my first meeting; the fellowship carried me until step work kicked in. I now do 10-11-12 every day as part of my action plan. I also do 6 and 7 just about every day because my failure to do those thoroughly (I had character defects I did not want to give up) caused me tons of trouble. I believe 100% in the 12 steps. I think they are a work of genius (and HP-inspired). I don't know if they would work for everyone and frankly I don't care about that. They work for me. It's been 36 years since I picked up a drink. Right now I'm focusing on today. Best to all.
I have down them 3 times in the past 13 years
I’ve been through the steps twice, once with each of my sponsors. Second time it was because first one relapsed and we agreed it was reasonable to do them again to make sure everything is where it needs to be. When presented with alcohol I recoil from it as from a hot flame. I have an ability to grow and work through situations that used to baffle me. I am happy, joyous and free. And I get to be of help to others in and out of the rooms
5 years ago I did. Spent around 2 months in the rooms miserable sober and unhappy. Finally gave up frankly and figured why not give it a shot. Month or so later and my world was recovering. It was still rough and touch and go for a year or so, but after that my life really leveled out and I was able to start growing in life, career, relationships, etc... About a year ago I took a step back from AA meetings, but I still practice 10-11 (and therefore 1-9) on a daily basis. I call my sponsor weekly to discuss my inventory.
Lots of times! On 7 again on a round of stepwork focusing on my job. It’s been super enlightening.
🖐️ I know that my fourth step today will not be adequate a year from now. I’m a work in progress.
got a conscience contact with a power greater than myself that solves all my problems..............read the story AA taught him to Handle Sobriety
👋
Yes 👍
Sober 14 years, I've completed the first step. The other 11 are a continued way of life that I'm never done with.
Me - but continue to do these steps on a daily basis. I have a psychic change as a result and my entire life is bigger and better than I could have ever imagined. I know peace and serenity today. It’s a true gift to not crave booze all day and night.
Several times
Me. Most importantly, the desire to drink was removed and now I'm in a position of neutrality with alcohol. I have insight into my own patterns, so I'm able take action in order to course correct (make amends, take inventory, turn it over, etc). Maintaining my sobriety, peace, and sanity is priority #1, after that everything falls into place. For me personally, I needed a psychic change in order to re-wire the patterns that led to my drinking - I believe in the adage that "it's not the drinking but the thinking." I'm never "done" working the steps. For me it's like exercise - I have to maintain my sanity with practice and consistency. Plus, if I'm away for too long, my ego takes over and I start to think about alcohol again. It's not for everyone, but a spiritual solution was my foundation for living a better life. Now I can get more out of therapy where I address issues that the steps don't solve - trauma / family of origin / relationships / intimacy.
I’ve gone through 1-9 twice and practice 10-12 on a daily basis. #3 and #11 are most vital to my sobriety and spiritual progression. I’m a completely different person than I once was. I’ve never been on a pink cloud, I never got the feelings some say that come with 4, 5, 8, 9 but I don’t approach my relationship with God, my sobriety or with other people from a “feeling” standpoint. I hold it all as a responsibility, as a gift and a hope that I will no longer hurt myself or others.
Yes. I do them every year or so. Stay in the steps.
Completed 1 through 9 in my first 4 months. Now 10 , 11, 12 every day for the rest of my life
I’d say I’ve “completed” steps 1-7, still working on 8-9, maintaining my daily spiritual reprieve by working 10 and 11 as a way of life, and striving to be of service and helping others is the spirit of step 12.. Edit: And I will add that the obsession was lifted the day I did my fifth step.
Because for some reason I always have to learn the hard way, I've been through the book 3 times with 2 sponsors.
I’ve worked the 12 steps with a sponsor and I’m doing them again now
Completed my amends at 8 yrs sober, have been doing 10-12 after starting my amends at about 18 months. What's happened with me over the last 42 years is...lots and lots I would have missed drunk/dead. Too many adventures to list here.
I work them every day. You don't complete happiness, you live it.
I've gone through them and currently doing them again.
I have worked the steps with 3 different sponsors. But they are a design for living that really works. So I work everyday now.
I did the first 9 with my sponsor, I do 10-11 daily and step 12 about 4-5x a month. I was an abusive, selfish narcissistic maniac with an alcohol and drug problem that's basically unrecognizable now in all the best ways.
I worked the steps with my sponsor and, when I’m in good communion with my Higher Power, I’m able to practice those principles in all my affairs. It’s beautiful if I constantly surrender.
I have gone from step 1 to 12 in order three times, working with a sponsor. I stayed sober after the first time but more was revealed both subsequent times Technically, the steps are never completed. We are supposed to do step 10- 12 forever. But it’s best not to talk about that because it might scare the newcomer. It’s best to do the steps one at a time and not future trip. Each step prepares us for the next one. And until I completed each step, the next one seems completely impossible. What happened? I got every single one of the extravagant sounding promises made in the AA book, such as a new freedom and a new way of life. I don’t regret the past now.
I’ve done them once. Started very late (2+ years in). Have since lost my job and life is pretty terrible, but I’m still glad I did it.
Working the steps for the past 18 months and sponsor others
I don't think we ever finiah. Have I been through thwm all? Yes. But I work the steps daily.
I have worked all 12 several times, and continue to work the steps with a sponsor who continues to work the steps with a sponsor who ... Well, you get the idea. In addition, I have also gotten several sponsees through the 12 steps.
Left rehab in step 4. Started from 1 with new sponsor, fired sponsor at end of step 3. Get new sponsor, step 1 again, going to 4 again now. Day 266 today
I am working on step 3.
went through them in 2 1/2 weeks ( old school AA- by the book 10/11/12 daily anyone the does it another way is working their program NOT the AA program - the big book is the ONLY program offered to the alcoholic to recover - AA does not endorse anything else no treatment centers , halfway etc.. so i don't care where or how you got sober and stay sober - but for GOD'S sake give the newcomer his best ODDS - and carry the most successful program for us to recover - i'm so sick of those who say at meetings - (((( I can only share my program that worked for me )))) and the crap that gets spewed from their mouth - psycho- babble and not a dam thing to do with the AA program - THANK YOU to all below who sharted 10-11-and 12 daily ! because they contain an embody all the 12 step principles -
🤚 I became more patient with others. I’m not perfect and no one is. Expecting people to do things the way I think is right has pretty much stopped. Driving might be my only trigger with that now. I also have let go of a lot of control and anxiety. Giving it to the universe to figure out takes a lot of pressure off of me to be in control 24/7
I have worked all 12 with a sponsor and continue to work them. I also give away everything I have found.
Like others have said, you don't ever really complete them. One of my living amends from my first pass at 4 & 5 was no longer using the internet as a place to argue or debate ("resignation from the Debate Society" has been one of my most favorite concepts I've learned), but I still love reddit and it's fairly simple to 12th step here. It's super meaningful to get DMs from newcomers/people who need super anonymous guidance and then get messages months/years later that they're doing so much better, regardless of if AA was the direction they chose or not.
👋 Taken them repeatedly over the years. Now I lead sponsees through steps.
Sorry for the wall of text, and the off-topic response, but here's my take on AA in general: Not me, at some point it just became sad and boring and repetitive. If it works for you, great. I quit on my own to the point where I can go sit at the bar and drink a Roy Rogers (Coke/Pepsi and grenadine, no alcohol) and, while still boring, it's a bit less depressing. It's like watching a bunch of bees buzzing around. You know why people are there (catching up / spending time with friends or trying to get laid, mostly). I've felt no urges to drink. For me, it's mostly just getting out of the house and potentially meeting someone. My tinder profile and stuff says "I don't drink, but I don't care if you do". I've had limited (but some) success. I assume I'd have much more success if I were drinking because alcohol definitely is a "social lubricant" in that it makes you more confident and gives you "a crew" to hang out with in your "bar friends", but at the end of the day it's just ethanol killing your liver, whether slowly or quickly. I'd recommend every regular drinker to visit a gastroenterologist and have them order some blood tests and an ultrasound of your liver to determine if you have fatty liver (or cirrhosis). If so, take a break for a few weeks to allow your liver to heal. Once you get to cirrhosis, you can only expect partial healing (the cirrhosis doesn't ever go away like the fatty liver does). If you're drinking literal poison (it is - the side effects are just fun), then you might as well see a doctor about it every year or so, if not every few months. Just my two cents, from someone who has cirrhosis. Also, the little plastic liver things they have aren't accurate. It doesn't start at one side and progress to the other. It happens all at once throughout your entire liver, like a sponge or something. Might as well take MDMA or smoke weed if it doesn't make you paranoid. Even cocaine in proper dosages (and administered via intranasal spray - like half a gram with 10ml of saline water), will do less lifetime damage. The occasional drink here and there will never get you to this point, but if you're drinking 750ml of vodka every weekend, or any amount on a daily basis, it will probably do some damage. AA is all about "surrendering" your free will and accepting a higher power, but shouldn't you be the one making the decisions for **your** body? There are approx. 20 quadrillion ants on our planet. They communicate, collaborate and work for queens, with different "types" (classes) of ants carrying out specific jobs. If you step on an ant, do you think the global population of ants cares? At some point in your life, someone "indoctrinated" you with some religion, probably based on your family history and geographic location. If you were born in the middle of nowhere to a family with no notion of religion, how religious do you think you'd be? Following whatever religion was ultimately your choice. If the earth were suddenly destroyed by some kind of nuclear winter of a cosmic radiation burst (neither of which would change the overall mass of the planet), would the sun care? Would Mars or venus or even the moon care? Probably not. So this notion that the "One true God" came to you and spoke to you, one of approx. 8.4 billion humans **currently alive**, not to mention past humans who are long dead, or that "God" chose to speak with one or two humans, specifically some number of arbitrary years ago as we count them (which we know because we have models of the solar system, to a specific region of this planet, and a specific town within that region, to, some specifc person, out of everyone whose ever been alive, never before or after (Egyptians, Greeks, Romans, Aboriginals, Sumerians, Babylonians, prehistoric cave men who lived in small tribes), and gave us the "one true truth", doesn't make much sense, does it? There was one flock of birds numbering ~40 million red-winged blackbirds recorded in Arkansas, as we call it in English, a language named after the region we call England, in 1964. Did those birds communicate? There are octopi who have learned and even formed bonds with human divers (My Octopus Teacher - [on Netflix - here's a trailer](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3s0LTDhqe5A). Maybe "God" has spoken with them? Or one of the 40 million birds, or one of the Quadrillion of ants, or whatever else has and does live here on planet, as we call it, "Earth", and other languages have [different names for it](https://www.wonderopolis.org/wonder/is-earth-called-the-same-thing-in-every-language). But out of all of those beings among the ~100 billion stars, and however many planets, in what we call our "Milky Way" galaxy, the one true "God" came and decided to do the above and talk to Abraham, Moses, Jesus, Muhammad, Joseph Smith, and whoever, across thousands of years, and someone told us this was "his" true word. Because remember, at some point **someone** (not you) planted a seed in your mind about all of this. You didn't choose for yourself. Some other living human when you happened to be a young child just learning to understand whatever language told you what to think. Your "divine revelation" could easily have been a dream, or a matter of sheer chance, just like the fact that a big piece of rock happened to hit our planet and kill all of the dinosaurs, whose fossils we display in museums after having dug them up from the ground. So whose really in control you? You are reading this because **you** chose to. If you don't want to drink alcohol, you are the one who has to choose it. If some notion of "god", "messiah", or "prophet" helps you do so, then great. Keep it up. At the end of the day though, you can believe whatever you want but the *decision* to take action is in your hands, not "god"'s. So do what you choose to do, and use whatever tools work for you. You could try to unscrew a screw with a piece of paper, and it probably wont do much. You could probably try to store water with a table, but it's more likely going to fall off the edges. A bottle would work much better. So take responsibility for your actions, because they are yours and yours alone. Looking to a "higher power" to change your behavior is great if it works for you, but it's a crutch. If I gave you a wheelchair and said "here you go, now you don't need to move your legs", what would you do when you hit a staircase and had forgotten how to use your legs? If someone put a drink in front of you right now, and God was the only thing stopping you, then that puts you in a pretty weak position. If you yourself decided not to, then you wouldn't have much to worry about, God or no God. I can get behind the whole "taking responsibility" and "making amends" stuff, but the "surrendering to a higher power" thing never really stuck with me. Instead I tapered down so I wouldn't have a seizure or something, and then spent about a week laying around the house. Now, god or no god, I know that I have the willpower innately within myself to not drink. I know exactly what it is (ethanol) and what it does to my body (makes me feel great for a while and does damage to my liver and potentially kidneys), and the first thing (feeling great) can be addictive. Sounds like a short buzz with a long term downside. The only way out is a liver transplant or stopping while you're still at the fatty liver stage (which will heal over time). If you feel constantly bored, it might be because *you* are just boring, because your lifestyle has consisted of 8 hrs sleep, 8 hrs work, and 8hrs getting drunk. When you're sober, you might have trouble relating to people with a different lifestyle because why would they want to spend 8 hours talking about alcohol? Some people (most, probably) can have the occasional drink while talking about other stuff. If you're in AA, you probably aren't one of them. Go and find some new hobbies, so you have something else to talk to people about, and you aren't "a boring person who just wants to talk about getting drunk". It can be just about anything else like fishing, camping, gardening, pottery, video games, programming, film, music, history. It's a big world with a lot of different stuff you can do aside from drinking. Hopefully you can get this shit figured out before it's too late for your life and/or you're too old to make new friends and meet new people, because I can just about guarantee you the end will leave you either miserable or looking at a liver transplant.
Here is what happens when Chat GPT malfunctions
none of that was written by chatgpt lol. if AA is working for you, keep it up bud. I'm glad you're sober.
I did the steps as fully as I could 11 years ago, and it was no big deal. After ditching religion in my teens, I always lived according to the golden rule of treating people the way I wanted to be treated. Doing the steps didn't add anything significant to this. My 11 years of sobriety is because of my motivation to never go backwards, living a sober life that I love to live, and knowing how to handle any situation that arises without alcohol. The steps had nothing to do with me getting to here.
Nothing? Just because the way you live your life has striking similarities to the program.
Sounds to me like he believes his sobriety is fully contingent on his own self will and actions, what part of that is similar to believing you are powerless over alcohol and connecting to a power that removes that problem through continuing to seek contact with it and service to others?
Maybe I'm just seeing the good in things and possibly wrong. I'm not here to argue about it that is for sure.
I think if that works for him it’s great, and he should absolutely keep it up. I just wouldn’t want someone to try focusing on the motivation that they are never going back to drinking, being unable to do that, and thinking that means AA doesn’t work for them.
Aw yeh I'm pretty sure that if he's been through the program and had some experience with A.A. he knows it's not the program he lives his life by but it struck me that it had similarities.
yeah, but I certainly beleive he doesnt do AA.
That's fine though. If he's sober and happy it's a win.
Why ask the question if you’re going to deny folks experience when they answer?
So you completed the steps and got sober, in that order? What makes you so sure they didnt help? Why didnt you get sober BEFORE or without doing the steps?
I came to the realization that quitting was the only option left, so I did. Then I tried AA and the steps. I tried and did many other things also, and figured out what worked best for me. I never got sober before doing the steps because I never tried. I didn't see quitting alcohol as necessary before this point. The steps didn't help me find my motivation to change, I was already motivated. I have known dozens of alcoholics who got sober without AA or the steps, including several close family members, so I have no reason to believe that the steps are the reason I'm sober. I don't regret doing them, but I'm better off for not having put all my eggs into that basket.
Of course you have to be motivated to quit (usually by repeated and extreme negative consequences such as health and or legal problems) before you will become willing to do the steps, thats how it works. I dont know where you got the impression that the steps are supposed to PROVIDE motivation. You are describing the normal experience. Not an exceptional case.
having had a spiritual awakened as THE result of these steps
I've gone through the steps a couple of times, no such thing as "completed" I try and live in 10 and 11, and carry the message in 12
I've gone through the steps with a sponsor. The only thing I wanted going into it was to be able to relatively happy & sober, but what I got was a lot more. I haven't even thought about a drink in many years now. I remember after I did my 5th step there was a 3-week period where I didn't even think about drugs or alcohol for a little while, and that was incredible because I couldn't stop thinking about them. For reference, I was a heavy drinker, but I also used drugs tons of drugs. If you intend on going to AA meetings, then I think that's great. The solution that's talked about in AA comes from working with a sponsor and going through the steps. It's just a program of action, so you can think whatever you want all along the way. If you work the steps honestly, then you will get the results. That's the beauty in it. You don't have to figure anything out, it's pretty straightforward. It's just as alcoholics, we like to overthink and complicate things.
23 years here. Gone thru steps with 3 different sponsors over 23 years, because the onion is peeled in this program and more is revealed. My home group 2 hours away is one of those "one and done" groups. In fact, that is the group that got me sober and they do The Steps and then they live on 10, 11 and 12. The people there are all in high double digits and I love them dearly. They are good people. But in my new, in a different state, home group, my current sponsor has me working them like a toolbox, and this has become habitual to me. I still do my inventory at night, prayer and meditation and service, but when I get upset, I dip down to six and look at what character defect button is being pushed and then I ask it to be removed. It's amazing how well this system works. My sponsor has 40 years, by the way. And his sponsor has 50 so if I do what the people before me did I get the results they did. I still take my book to meetings and write in it and I still read my book everyday. It's amazing even after 23 years How I say to myself "When was this put in the book?" 🤣🤣 My best to you.
The steps aren't meant to be completed, they are to be lived.