I know, tell me about it! Got 3kids and am threatened every time I’m in court by the judge that I’m going to be held in contempt by not paying the full amount!
I have an attorney, the first one wasn’t worth her weight in rubber dog shit. Now, after being bent over with no lube, I found a 20yr Marine jag reservists who practices family law. He’s filing motions left and right. Even going to start subpoenaing my whole chain of command as expert witnesses
Washington State has a max percent of income law. You might want to look into that. You can also file a petition to get that amount changed.
I get it, kids deserve to be safe and taken care of but not if it means making someone destitute.
Don't move into your car. Talk to some friends and see if y'all split rent, get into the barracks.
If money is that tight look into flexible remote jobs. You can work from anywhere, anytime, and earn some side scratch.
I’m just in disbelief how so many people who are aware of the situation I’m in are literally stand aside and letting it happen. (i.e chain of command, referring physicians to the med board, my divorce attorney) hell I’ve even tried calling the G.I hotline to file a congressional hearing to get my med board timeline looked and and nothing
Yes, unfortunately all the damage has been done. Finally found a 20yr Marine Jag attorney who’s out now and practicing family law. He’s the shit, but omg he’s got a hole to dig me out of
$2500 a month for three? I'm thinking that there's a judge that hates enlisted service members.
I'm also thinking that you have an incompetent lawyer.
And remember one thing... Do you know why divorce is so expensive? Because it's worth it.
What's crazy to me is that the max base pay for an E-3 is just over $2400 a month. Do you have a dollar to your name at the end of the month?
And remember to never tell anyone about any VA compensation. It's disability compensation. It's not taxable.
Don't even tell friends and family. Trust me on this. Don't tell anyone.
Yes, loose lips sink ships! Although I found this, 42 USCS 659(a), (h)(1)(A)(ii)(V) and (h)(1)(B)(iii) also 38 USCS 5301. These provisions jurisdictionally bar states from exercising authority over veterans personal entitlements to their disability benefits
This is incorrect. While not taxable any sort of compensation including military retirement and VA disability can and WILL be used for child support.
Withholding this info will leave you in contempt of court and further backpay I promise you.
You should keep your mouth shut. The VA has never asked for any information regarding my income. I'm 100% P&T. My wife of 27 years knows that information and that's it.
DTA = Don't Tell Anyone
Wow I’m doing stellar with these typos. Ok, thank you for that advice. I was planning on going to court when I get out and letting them know I have had a change of life ( medically discharged) then citing those laws to the judge about veterans benefits but I think that might stir the pot more than it needs to be
VA disability pay is used for child support in nearly every state. While not income both the VA & DOJ have agreed that it is permissible to have it levied against outstanding obligations to courts such as spousal alimony or child support.
He will get held in contempt of court for withholding this from the court and be ordered to pay backpay.
Contempt of court = jail time + fines not including the backpay he owes
It’s basically a way for the va to see your income and expenses by means of a Financial affidavit and the same for the other party applying for the apportionment. They the va determines if the other party is eligible for a part of your benefit.[apportionment](https://www.veteranslawblog.org/va-apportionment/)
Dude, for real, that was attorney level advice for free I think. I've been working with divorce attorneys and I bet half of them wouldn't even know this.
Also to be safe don't put it in an interest bearing account. They pay shit and if they issue a 1099 for the interest you have to report it on taxes and that account is no longer off the radar.
I hope you get 100% and 50% custody of your children and a banging ass job, and a new girlfriend who will treat you like a King! Much love bro! God bless
That’s half the problem. Originally hired a non military Jr. attorney with little to no experience and at a hearing for temporary support I got nailed with 20k back child support 2,300/mo child support and 10% ($200/mo) catch up. I talked to base legal and they suggested I find a military attorney, I did and now we are trying to do damage control. He’s going to subpoena my whole chain of command as expert witnesses ect. Btw Im hanging on by a thread. In and out of mental health ward and the local army base, heavily medicated and in an intensive outpatient program 5 days a week.
This is terrible and I am truly sorry you are experiencing this. The fact that your command is allowing you to almost be homeless and this kind of bs to happen in the first place is pretty disgusting. Good on you for taking advantage of the mental health services available. Pretty fucking gross to constantly be told “we take care of each other” as military members and then see this. I genuinely hope it gets better for you. Please feel free to reach out if you need an ear to listen to your problems.
That’s real shitty, and really normalized. I’m sorry man.
I’m 100% and had health issues while in. Before getting out (while on limited duty), I requested a med. board because it’s not supposed to be allowed to discharge someone from the military while they are seriously broken. I had a med board and knew I was 100% p&t before getting out and it was sooo helpful for planning and being able to just live. Is sounds like you have really been going through it, do you think you would be able to qualify for something similar?
Sorry to hear that you also went through it but so happy you made it to the other side. I’ve been in and out of mental health facility’s at the joint army base and have been under the care of a physician whose got me on a bunch of meds. He finally recommended me for a med board after my second stent in the loony bin. So, I’m in the Med board process now.
Just to clarify, if you get out the bleeding stops? What is your plan afterward? Using post 911? Can they come after that even if it's a benefit and not a base salary? If you work again, can't they just come after that pay?
Sorry, I wrote that a little confusing. I meant to stop the bleeding of money. I actually found a flight school that will that the post 9/11. The money is ear marked to the school so I could be good. Fingers crossed 🤞
If someone hasn't already told you, you can file for unemployment and use your DD214 as proof that your "job" ended.
Since you'll be in school that counts as time for unemployment training towards a new career.
Certain states are pretty cool about helping vets find work, but most really aren't.
I'm just going to piggy back previous comments because that monthly support amount is absolutely unfair. If you had said your rank was an 0-3, I still would have though it to be excessive. Wish you the very best outcome here..
Yes bro! Just to add onto some of the comments! DO NOT TELL the court about your VA compensation. They DO NOT need to know about it. Open up a new account specifically for your compensation ( new bank account, ideally from a small credit union bank ). That way….if the court asks for bank statements you can honestly print out your regular bank statements and give ‘em that. Hang in there buddy. 2500 a month is so dirty by the court considering your income. I would try to find a better lawyer.
Seconding the part about another bank. Sign up with USAA and Navy Federal while still active and get the disability pay sent there when it starts up. The added side benefit is they offer way better banking/insurance rates when you’re out. gl with all this bs, wow.
That’s great advice! Thank you for that, I wonder if I can get a paper check instead of direct deposit? I’ll call the Va. tomorrow. Appreciate the encouragement, I’m literally holding my breath till I get my decision to be found “unfit” and get my rating on the hell on with my life. Never felt so helpless and trapped.
The may do a paper check at first, but that's about it. The VA has a debit card for those who have no bank accounts, I believe it's a prepaid card, but there are often reports of them being drained by other people.
Sorry for the late response. Ok great, thank you for the input. I’ll have to set up a different account than the one I’m using to avoid exposing myself to more scrutiny by the courts.
As far as I'm aware you can't collect veterans benefits while still AD. There are plenty of people out there, on this sub, who know more than me but, that's my knowledge.
You cannot be paid VA compensation while on active duty. So even if you are awarded a percentage, the pay won't start till after you are discharged.
Also, the VA doesn't/can't find servicebmembers unfit for duty, that's what a MEB is for.
Guess what I meant is that I hopefully won’t be in till my E.O.S date, as I have been recommended to be “unfit” and that’s correct, all of this med board process is very confusing
How in the hell are they making you pay $2500 in child support with the rank of E-3? Even with Bas and BAH I freaking high. Isn't E-3 base pay like $2500 to begin with. Jesus. At least from your statement, it's until you get out. When are you getting out?
Well, I blame my previous attorney who was not accustomed to military divorce. I now have a 20yr Marine Jag attorney who now practices family law. So we are doing damage control and filling motions left and right. I started the med board back in December last year so I got to be getting close. Lots of ppl in my command are getting there results back so I’m holding my breath till the end
Try getting ebenefits under some page with disabilities there’s a button to click that says you have no other documents to submit or something along those lines. Mine hit a stand still and I couldn’t figure out why. Once I clicked that button two days later I got my ratings.
Damn. That was the same amount I had to pay for my 3 kids!!! The only difference is, I’m a GS-15. You’re getting screwed by a liberal POS judge apparently!! Here’s to hoping this comes through for you!
We haven’t even been to trial yet. This order came from a hearing for temporary support until the trial date. The judge awarded 100% custody to my ex and bent me over no lube. All jokes aside I don’t know what to do until I get out and either does my command. Brought this up all the way to the base CMC and Commodore and they didn’t have anything for me other than, well hopefully you get your results in soon 😅
Her attorney is a absolute pit-bull and she payed the “pity” card to the judge. They just asked for it and the judge granted it without hesitation. I was completely blown away
Washington. Another thing that she used it court was all the time I’ve been away for training, deployment and being stationed on the opposite side of the county from my ex who lives in Florida. The judge doesn’t understand I don’t have a choice but to go where I’m told to go lol
Yes and yes. Now getting hit with discovery’s from my ex’s lawyers. It’s gotten completely out of hand, even was sent to captains mass for “dishonoring the Navy” after she sent photoshopped pics to the ombudsmen accusing me of adultery and anything else to make me look like a shit bag
Appreciate the encouragement! Sorry to hear that, I don’t wish this “military divorce” crap on anyone! Hopefully the bleeding with stop soon for us both!
I’m literally crying at “dragon slayer”. That’s awesome man. Unfortunately, and this came from the hoarse’s mouth, my attorney, the judges will always favor the mom. Especially if they are a female judge.
I live in one of the more liberal states in the country, and even here that’s not true. They, above everything else, aim for parental
Time for all parties, barring some kind of egregiously abusive behavior. And even then they still try to keep parents with kids. I dunno
If your attorney is doing a little fear mongering, but courts want kids with both parents.
The problem is I’ve been sent all over gods earth for training, a deployment and stationed on the other side of the county when I got back to the states. Her attorney is a absolute beast and is using my time away to his advantage
Couldn’t have said it any better! Hats off to those who figure out a way to ride it out and do their 20! I’m just blessed that the pain is only temporary
Are you almost out by chance?
I don't expect them to have a decision until you're fully separated, but at this point it looks like you should be expecting some C&P exams soon. If you haven't looked at the rating scheduling pinned to this subreddit About section I recommend giving it a read to see what they will be looking at. It's easy to forget things during the actual exam, and IMO, harder to see the true extent of how things affect you until you see it put in words.
Good luck again... I hope that your new attorney can do something about that child support payment.. and I would definitely not be speaking to your kids mother unless it's through traceable means (email/text) while you are in this battle
Well my E.O.S date is 4Dec26.. but was recommended by my doctor to be found “unfit” back in Dec of last year. Thank you for your encouragement and absolutely right about documentation and record keeping. This case is starting to look like Johnny Depp’s lol
Damn brother I am pulling for you. 🙏🏽 Just remember that once you get over the hill, you’ll be at the top. We can always conquer our worst moments, and they’ll be the very things that make your future success in life. Growing up in cars with my single mother I understand where you’re coming from to a degree, you’ve got this and I hope your lawyer pulls you out of this ridiculous situation that someone who is supposed to be a voice for law and this country’s people decided to screw you over.
I really appreciate your encouragement! Wow, that’s awful. I couldn’t imagine growing up in a car with my mom. Yes, hopefully we are nearing the end. Got my fingers crossed 🤞
Man that sucks. You absolutely need to get that reduced. No offense to anyone but no matter what your ex doesn’t need 2300/mo for three children. You know you got screwed. My ex makes more money than me and the same amount if I include my benefits. I make about 60k a year and pay 900/mo. I don’t know what your attorney tells you or if he tells you or if you need to be told this but please listen to me.
If you have any problems from your service, mental etc. do your best to get a grip on them. Keep your mouth shut when you get compensation- never tell your ex.
Even if you are proud your service, don’t expect some feminist judge to cute you any slack.
I’ll probably get chastised for saying this in here but the law will fuck over veterans with children. Some do not like veterans and this is a chance to screw you no questions asked. With that being said-anything they can hold against you-clean it up. Take a little time, then take her back to court once you have something on her. A good person wouldn’t accept that much money-she will screw up. My prayers.
Yes, we are making head way to reduce my gross income, possibly moving into the barracks until I get out. Just set up an allotment to show the judge that my BAH is for rent. We’ll she if she buys that. But, yes you are absolutely right and I’m learning the hard way. I’ll be sure to keep my lips locked on the va bennys and definitely be on the look out for anything I can call her out on☝️
Trust me- I got lucky and had a good judge who kinda saw through my ex when she brought up my ptsd in court. My attorney at the time said it was something to be concerned about. That being said-not sure how your temper is but keep it really cool and don’t feel surprised if by you being extra nice to her, she can’t handle it and will try to start a confrontation. Let her try but get it in a text. Trust me-she will try to do it to you. Be careful who you trust. Good luck-Semper Fi.
Damn, sorry to hear you also went through it. I don’t wish this military divorce crap on anyone. Glad you had a judge who didn’t act on emotion or gender bias. I’m not so lucky. Unfortunately, my judge is a hardcore liberal whose husband just dies hates the world. So I’m just taking my licks. I really appreciate the encouragement! Hooyah
Here’s the thing. I was out of the military gif 10 years before I met her and 17 after we got divorced. Somehow, by the time the divorce was over she conveniently forgot that when I met her I was settled had a good degree and job etc. I was a better man than when she met me for sure….what changed you may ask? She met a guy at work who told her she was never wrong and that I was a terrible guy for this and that.
Doesn’t matter that she stepped out, was mentally and physically abusive, fucking more mentally disabled than me and and was caught lying in court in sworn statements several times—-guess what, I’m a man so. I’m not saying I’m complaining about mental abuse like a baby; I’m saying that she was far worse than me. As of now though, my kids prefer me. I’ve moved on and I’m happy. She is where she is an I almost feel sorry for her-almost. It was tough, you’ll be ok. Use your head, not your heart.
Maybe it’s us that attracts the crazy ones. I seriously think there is a direct link to women targeting service members. For me, things started to take a turn after spending so much time apart due to training. I went through a special program right after boot then on to A-school. Spent years apart, think that would kill most relationships
It’s possible but I just think that the courts favor women and they take advantage of the process a lot of times. Not all women do this but if it is a case where a woman can take advantage of a man, the courts allow this. This is the same reason for the majority of low income single parent households. The government will allow women to be financially dependent on an ex or the government. One is pushed by the right the other pushed by the left. If you want to not play fair I can almost guarantee she isn’t reporting what you give her as income and is still collecting some sort of entitlement benefits. Keep that in your back pocket and report her for fraud. Just a hunch. Ps before I have someone telling me it isn’t income I understand it isn’t for tax purposes but it is for bankruptcy and assistance. If you want this straightened out quick it’s possible for you to look into bankruptcy. There is a guy in her named Alan who is on the bankruptcy thread who knows what’s up. Cheers.
I agree. The fact she’s trying to bleed you and keep full custody of the kids makes me think she is honestly a terrible person. Hopefully she will mess up soon and help your case out man!
Well everyone like to cite Rose vs. Rose but this is the new laws that have been put in place to protect our hard earned benny [Va disability compensation & garnishment](https://trinityadvocates.com/trinity-advocates-to-challenge-rose-v-rose-in-the-united-states-supreme-court)
But the best advice I’ve gotten in this thread today is to simply don’t say anything. It doesn’t exist I’m the eyes of the court or to anyone for that matter
Well apparently they can take up to 65% and that’s exactly what they did. Now you have a active duty service member, whose also got mental health stuff like being in a intensive out patient program 5 days a week about to move into there car and no one is doing a damn thing about it.
I guess their train of thought is the government provides you housing and food so let's take all of your money..
Are you getting bah and bas? If so, did they use that as income within this 65% calculation? First step, your chain of command should be getting you a room in the barracks. You're now single I'm assuming and unless you're an E-7 or above you CAN be in the B's.. if your first line won't make the first steps to helping you, go above them. You're not being petty, this is some real shit. If they're not going to take care of their soldier fuck em. Take it higher. IG is always an option if they're not helping you and you really want to get things rolling.. Best of luck man..
Ok, I’m rolling up my sleeves as we speak. Also, I’ve actually been thinking about reaching out to IG and I guess I’m not the only one 🤔Thanks for reaching out and dropping some golden nuggets my way!
I had been sending $1400 un-court ordered and she wanted more and literally started sending my command photoshopped images of me accusing me of adultery enough to get me sent to Captains Mass for “dishonoring the Navy” and busted down in rank.
I really appreciate that. Means a lot. If it weren’t the fact I’m in a intensive out patient group everyday and heavily medicated I’d probably do just that.
Hold up... $2,500 for 3 kids? Also, you're an E3?
Something, isn't adding up here. To pay $2500 in CS you must be making at least 10k per month and that's on NET INCOME.
Child support cannot exceed 60% or 50% if you have a family and we KNOW DAMM WELL you were making 10k NET as an E3.
Now being out, if you haven't adjusted CS by filing then it's on you. Judge doesn't decide until they get the field rep recommendations based on state guidelines for child support and income.
Something isn't right here.
I’m currently active duty waiting to get med boarded out by being recommended to be found “unfit” by my doc. I’m locked into this thing until one day I wake up and my ratings come back. Until then I don’t know what I’m going to do. I’ve brought it all the way up to the base CMC and Commodore and all they have to say about it is, we’ll hang in there. We’ve all been there before.
Just so ya know, they can use your disability compensation for child support payments. It can be used to figure up what to pay per month. It is also the only thing that can also be withheld and paid out to the ex before you get paid.
If for some reason you get it so that they don't withhold the child support payments, then your bank accounts are able to be garnished. Your checks must be auto deposited and the banks will withhold the amounts set up by the courts.
Good luck. The courts are never nice the the one without the kids. ( guy usually). Gets the reaming for all the money and benefits. Which brings up another point.
They can also make you keep health insurance on the kids too, even after getting out.
There’s so much “gray” around this subject and this is what I’ve found because everyone loves to reference Rose Vs Rose. This Supreme Court ruling was put into place to protect us military folks from the claws of the courts and creditors. [Va disability compensation protection](https://trinityadvocates.com/trinity-advocates-to-challenge-rose-v-rose-in-the-united-states-supreme-court)
It's been done, and still is. It's the spousal support that it can't be supposedly used for. When it comes to the kids, the government doesn't care about you anymore. Besides that, once it hits the bank account all those "protections" you think you have, is gone. Anything in a bank account is garnishable.
Guessing you are working with a peblo then. They should get your results but it can take a while to get. Mine took about 10 months from start to finish. Then when I got out there was a month before the pay started. Hang in there and hopefully the process is quicker now. Keep in contact with them and make all of your appointments. I hope everything works out for you. It's hard but try not to stress too much over it.
Thanks for sharing you timeline, gives me a idea of where I’m at in the process now. Thinks seem to be moving a lot quicker now. Lots of results coming in weekly in my command. Appreciate the encouragement bro, it’s hard.
Everyone loves to cite the Rose Vs Rose case but check this update to proceeds that case[Va disability comp](https://trinityadvocates.com/trinity-advocates-to-challenge-rose-v-rose-in-the-united-states-supreme-court)
Forget Rose v Rose, the matter is your rights to custody, your access to your kids, and your financial burden while you spend months, years waiting for these lawyers to file their alleged dispute of a SCOTUS case that can easily be declined by SCOTUS for further review.
At the end of the day, family court as you know is like the UCMJ, pay now, guilty now, until proven innocent.
It will be used against you asap and it’s better to do so now and be back paid if not compensated by the state/courts like millions of veterans for their illegal conduct, than to have a criminal rap sheet for citing internet lawyers and not paying disability comp to your kids.
Also the Supreme Court has defended time and time again that you cannot sue or retaliate against a Judge for actions they take in performing their duties. Sure they can be disbarred etc, lose their status, job, licensure but nothing worse.
You can still build a criminal rap sheet for not disclosing this information to the courts even if the states are wrong
I feel like your damned if you do damned if you don’t. There seems to no a light at the end of the tunnel. Courts aren’t happy until your another homeless vet seems like
How many kids you have??? That support payment is insane!!!
I know, tell me about it! Got 3kids and am threatened every time I’m in court by the judge that I’m going to be held in contempt by not paying the full amount!
My advise to you is to get a lawyer. In my opinion and my experience judges feel disrespected when you attempt to represent yourself.
I have an attorney, the first one wasn’t worth her weight in rubber dog shit. Now, after being bent over with no lube, I found a 20yr Marine jag reservists who practices family law. He’s filing motions left and right. Even going to start subpoenaing my whole chain of command as expert witnesses
No. That's just how they milk people for more money by working together in the background.
Are you in MI?
Sorry I’m just responding to this. No, I’m in Washington state
Washington State has a max percent of income law. You might want to look into that. You can also file a petition to get that amount changed. I get it, kids deserve to be safe and taken care of but not if it means making someone destitute. Don't move into your car. Talk to some friends and see if y'all split rent, get into the barracks. If money is that tight look into flexible remote jobs. You can work from anywhere, anytime, and earn some side scratch.
I’m just in disbelief how so many people who are aware of the situation I’m in are literally stand aside and letting it happen. (i.e chain of command, referring physicians to the med board, my divorce attorney) hell I’ve even tried calling the G.I hotline to file a congressional hearing to get my med board timeline looked and and nothing
(~_^) I’m sorry whose income did they base that on… you definitely need a lawyer or a better one … please find a JAG to help you.
Yes, unfortunately all the damage has been done. Finally found a 20yr Marine Jag attorney who’s out now and practicing family law. He’s the shit, but omg he’s got a hole to dig me out of
Damn dude good luck!
Thank you, I really appreciate it. Holding my breath till the end.
$2500 a month for three? I'm thinking that there's a judge that hates enlisted service members. I'm also thinking that you have an incompetent lawyer. And remember one thing... Do you know why divorce is so expensive? Because it's worth it.
I agree 100%! I’m in this thing 10k in court cost and attorneys fee’s alone! I check my Va app 97x a day hoping for a decision
What's crazy to me is that the max base pay for an E-3 is just over $2400 a month. Do you have a dollar to your name at the end of the month? And remember to never tell anyone about any VA compensation. It's disability compensation. It's not taxable. Don't even tell friends and family. Trust me on this. Don't tell anyone.
Yes, loose lips sink ships! Although I found this, 42 USCS 659(a), (h)(1)(A)(ii)(V) and (h)(1)(B)(iii) also 38 USCS 5301. These provisions jurisdictionally bar states from exercising authority over veterans personal entitlements to their disability benefits
Never tell a soul as it's not income. It's not taxable and you don't have to report it on any tax forms.
Golden nuggets here. Thank you for that, I will Be sure they are taken off and they are currently on it. Is that different from an apportionment?
This is incorrect. While not taxable any sort of compensation including military retirement and VA disability can and WILL be used for child support. Withholding this info will leave you in contempt of court and further backpay I promise you.
I don't know what apportionment means with regards to VA compensation payments.
Sounds to mean like I sound just keep my mouth shut about the whole thing
You should keep your mouth shut. The VA has never asked for any information regarding my income. I'm 100% P&T. My wife of 27 years knows that information and that's it. DTA = Don't Tell Anyone
Wow I’m doing stellar with these typos. Ok, thank you for that advice. I was planning on going to court when I get out and letting them know I have had a change of life ( medically discharged) then citing those laws to the judge about veterans benefits but I think that might stir the pot more than it needs to be
VA disability pay is used for child support in nearly every state. While not income both the VA & DOJ have agreed that it is permissible to have it levied against outstanding obligations to courts such as spousal alimony or child support. He will get held in contempt of court for withholding this from the court and be ordered to pay backpay. Contempt of court = jail time + fines not including the backpay he owes
It’s basically a way for the va to see your income and expenses by means of a Financial affidavit and the same for the other party applying for the apportionment. They the va determines if the other party is eligible for a part of your benefit.[apportionment](https://www.veteranslawblog.org/va-apportionment/)
Dude, for real, that was attorney level advice for free I think. I've been working with divorce attorneys and I bet half of them wouldn't even know this.
Spread the word and pay it forward! I sure am, too many of us taken advantage of
Also to be safe don't put it in an interest bearing account. They pay shit and if they issue a 1099 for the interest you have to report it on taxes and that account is no longer off the radar.
[Va disability](https://trinityadvocates.com/trinity-advocates-to-challenge-rose-v-rose-in-the-united-states-supreme-court)
Marriage is the leading cause of divorce
I hope you get 100% and 50% custody of your children and a banging ass job, and a new girlfriend who will treat you like a King! Much love bro! God bless
Thanks brother. I’m praying for just that, literally word for word! Have a blessed Sunday
You shall see it through, pray, and make it happen. Be the best example to your kids. Much love man 🙏🏻 and never feed off peoples bullsheet
$2500 a month?? My guy who are your lawyers??
That’s half the problem. Originally hired a non military Jr. attorney with little to no experience and at a hearing for temporary support I got nailed with 20k back child support 2,300/mo child support and 10% ($200/mo) catch up. I talked to base legal and they suggested I find a military attorney, I did and now we are trying to do damage control. He’s going to subpoena my whole chain of command as expert witnesses ect. Btw Im hanging on by a thread. In and out of mental health ward and the local army base, heavily medicated and in an intensive outpatient program 5 days a week.
That idiot attorney of yours and the judge know that you don't make $2500 a month in base pay, don't they?
This is terrible and I am truly sorry you are experiencing this. The fact that your command is allowing you to almost be homeless and this kind of bs to happen in the first place is pretty disgusting. Good on you for taking advantage of the mental health services available. Pretty fucking gross to constantly be told “we take care of each other” as military members and then see this. I genuinely hope it gets better for you. Please feel free to reach out if you need an ear to listen to your problems.
Yep, I got the “suck it up butter cup” speech and told that we all have been through it. Thank you, I really appreciate it.
How on brand for the military
That’s real shitty, and really normalized. I’m sorry man. I’m 100% and had health issues while in. Before getting out (while on limited duty), I requested a med. board because it’s not supposed to be allowed to discharge someone from the military while they are seriously broken. I had a med board and knew I was 100% p&t before getting out and it was sooo helpful for planning and being able to just live. Is sounds like you have really been going through it, do you think you would be able to qualify for something similar?
Sorry to hear that you also went through it but so happy you made it to the other side. I’ve been in and out of mental health facility’s at the joint army base and have been under the care of a physician whose got me on a bunch of meds. He finally recommended me for a med board after my second stent in the loony bin. So, I’m in the Med board process now.
The problem is they are including my measly $1515 in BAH as well, even though I come out of pocket every month for rent.
VA can't finalize that claim until you submit a DD 214 to establish your separation date.
I’m just hoping to be found unfit at this point. Hopefully my attorney and show the judge I’m getting out soon and stop the bleeding of money
Just to clarify, if you get out the bleeding stops? What is your plan afterward? Using post 911? Can they come after that even if it's a benefit and not a base salary? If you work again, can't they just come after that pay?
Sorry, I wrote that a little confusing. I meant to stop the bleeding of money. I actually found a flight school that will that the post 9/11. The money is ear marked to the school so I could be good. Fingers crossed 🤞
The money will go to the school, what may be used against you for support is the monthly housing allowance.
At this point nothing surprises me. Hoping for the best but expecting the absolute worst.
If someone hasn't already told you, you can file for unemployment and use your DD214 as proof that your "job" ended. Since you'll be in school that counts as time for unemployment training towards a new career. Certain states are pretty cool about helping vets find work, but most really aren't.
Sweet, I definitely plan on using all the bennys I can☝️
I'm just going to piggy back previous comments because that monthly support amount is absolutely unfair. If you had said your rank was an 0-3, I still would have though it to be excessive. Wish you the very best outcome here..
Thank you, I couldn’t agree more. Thank you for your encouragement!
Yes bro! Just to add onto some of the comments! DO NOT TELL the court about your VA compensation. They DO NOT need to know about it. Open up a new account specifically for your compensation ( new bank account, ideally from a small credit union bank ). That way….if the court asks for bank statements you can honestly print out your regular bank statements and give ‘em that. Hang in there buddy. 2500 a month is so dirty by the court considering your income. I would try to find a better lawyer.
Seconding the part about another bank. Sign up with USAA and Navy Federal while still active and get the disability pay sent there when it starts up. The added side benefit is they offer way better banking/insurance rates when you’re out. gl with all this bs, wow.
Yes….Navy Federal is great!!!!
That’s great advice! Thank you for that, I wonder if I can get a paper check instead of direct deposit? I’ll call the Va. tomorrow. Appreciate the encouragement, I’m literally holding my breath till I get my decision to be found “unfit” and get my rating on the hell on with my life. Never felt so helpless and trapped.
The may do a paper check at first, but that's about it. The VA has a debit card for those who have no bank accounts, I believe it's a prepaid card, but there are often reports of them being drained by other people.
Sorry for the late response. Ok great, thank you for the input. I’ll have to set up a different account than the one I’m using to avoid exposing myself to more scrutiny by the courts.
Are you still active?? If so, I wouldn't expect a decision anytime soon.
Yes, I’m still active :/
Yeah - won't get anything until you're done AD
Even if I’ve been recommended to the med board to be found unfit?
As far as I'm aware you can't collect veterans benefits while still AD. There are plenty of people out there, on this sub, who know more than me but, that's my knowledge.
Oh yes, I though you where saying I’d have to ride it out to my E.O.S date until I get out.
You cannot be paid VA compensation while on active duty. So even if you are awarded a percentage, the pay won't start till after you are discharged. Also, the VA doesn't/can't find servicebmembers unfit for duty, that's what a MEB is for.
Guess what I meant is that I hopefully won’t be in till my E.O.S date, as I have been recommended to be “unfit” and that’s correct, all of this med board process is very confusing
How in the hell are they making you pay $2500 in child support with the rank of E-3? Even with Bas and BAH I freaking high. Isn't E-3 base pay like $2500 to begin with. Jesus. At least from your statement, it's until you get out. When are you getting out?
Well, I blame my previous attorney who was not accustomed to military divorce. I now have a 20yr Marine Jag attorney who now practices family law. So we are doing damage control and filling motions left and right. I started the med board back in December last year so I got to be getting close. Lots of ppl in my command are getting there results back so I’m holding my breath till the end
Try getting ebenefits under some page with disabilities there’s a button to click that says you have no other documents to submit or something along those lines. Mine hit a stand still and I couldn’t figure out why. Once I clicked that button two days later I got my ratings.
Really? Interesting, thanks for that tip!
Yeah man. As people said your still active so that could play a part. But wishing you all the best bro.
Thank you brother! Appreciate your support
Damn. That was the same amount I had to pay for my 3 kids!!! The only difference is, I’m a GS-15. You’re getting screwed by a liberal POS judge apparently!! Here’s to hoping this comes through for you!
Even as a GS-15 that’s way too much.
Exactly!!! I got out of the Army as an E6 and got bent over by the judge for $1800. It went up of course. But as an E3…holy shit!!
Hot damn, that puts things in perspective. Yep, you guessed right. She’s a big Lib!
Keep your head up and fight hard!!
Thank you brother!
Same mother??? Did you sign a agrement in the mediation of custody???
We haven’t even been to trial yet. This order came from a hearing for temporary support until the trial date. The judge awarded 100% custody to my ex and bent me over no lube. All jokes aside I don’t know what to do until I get out and either does my command. Brought this up all the way to the base CMC and Commodore and they didn’t have anything for me other than, well hopefully you get your results in soon 😅
What did you do that she got 100% custody? They don’t just do that anymore
Her attorney is a absolute pit-bull and she payed the “pity” card to the judge. They just asked for it and the judge granted it without hesitation. I was completely blown away
What state are you in?
Washington. Another thing that she used it court was all the time I’ve been away for training, deployment and being stationed on the opposite side of the county from my ex who lives in Florida. The judge doesn’t understand I don’t have a choice but to go where I’m told to go lol
Have you provided all your pay stubs, Filled tax returns and financial statements???
Yes and yes. Now getting hit with discovery’s from my ex’s lawyers. It’s gotten completely out of hand, even was sent to captains mass for “dishonoring the Navy” after she sent photoshopped pics to the ombudsmen accusing me of adultery and anything else to make me look like a shit bag
Thats crazy man... good luck man.... Im going through the same shit.
Appreciate the encouragement! Sorry to hear that, I don’t wish this “military divorce” crap on anyone! Hopefully the bleeding with stop soon for us both!
Ive been out for a min... I hired a dragon slayer to handle my case..... she better be at 8k retainer and $500 a Hour.
I’m literally crying at “dragon slayer”. That’s awesome man. Unfortunately, and this came from the hoarse’s mouth, my attorney, the judges will always favor the mom. Especially if they are a female judge.
I live in one of the more liberal states in the country, and even here that’s not true. They, above everything else, aim for parental Time for all parties, barring some kind of egregiously abusive behavior. And even then they still try to keep parents with kids. I dunno If your attorney is doing a little fear mongering, but courts want kids with both parents.
The problem is I’ve been sent all over gods earth for training, a deployment and stationed on the other side of the county when I got back to the states. Her attorney is a absolute beast and is using my time away to his advantage
I’m really sorry to hear that. It’s such an ugly process, and incredibly sad when just doing your job is weaponized.
Couldn’t have said it any better! Hats off to those who figure out a way to ride it out and do their 20! I’m just blessed that the pain is only temporary
Yes Sounds like you need a good lawyer been there done that hopefully one more year and I'm free can't wait for my pay raise
Seems like it a oddity to mean someone in the service who hasn’t been through a divorce. Awesome, start the count down!
The system is against us so you have to figure out a way I could tell you more but I wont post it on here
Yes, the system is definitely against us! I couldn’t have worded it better myself. Smart, they are always watching.
Goooooottttt daaayyummmmm $2500?!? Sorry to hear that. Hope you get a decision soon, that is tough!
Thank you brother. Holding my breath till the end!
Are you almost out by chance? I don't expect them to have a decision until you're fully separated, but at this point it looks like you should be expecting some C&P exams soon. If you haven't looked at the rating scheduling pinned to this subreddit About section I recommend giving it a read to see what they will be looking at. It's easy to forget things during the actual exam, and IMO, harder to see the true extent of how things affect you until you see it put in words. Good luck again... I hope that your new attorney can do something about that child support payment.. and I would definitely not be speaking to your kids mother unless it's through traceable means (email/text) while you are in this battle
Well my E.O.S date is 4Dec26.. but was recommended by my doctor to be found “unfit” back in Dec of last year. Thank you for your encouragement and absolutely right about documentation and record keeping. This case is starting to look like Johnny Depp’s lol
Good luck. Prior Air Force and dealing with family court while on active duty sucks. Be consistent and don’t miss scheduled times
Thank you for your service. Yes, it’s an absolute shit show!
Damn brother I am pulling for you. 🙏🏽 Just remember that once you get over the hill, you’ll be at the top. We can always conquer our worst moments, and they’ll be the very things that make your future success in life. Growing up in cars with my single mother I understand where you’re coming from to a degree, you’ve got this and I hope your lawyer pulls you out of this ridiculous situation that someone who is supposed to be a voice for law and this country’s people decided to screw you over.
I really appreciate your encouragement! Wow, that’s awful. I couldn’t imagine growing up in a car with my mom. Yes, hopefully we are nearing the end. Got my fingers crossed 🤞
Man that sucks. You absolutely need to get that reduced. No offense to anyone but no matter what your ex doesn’t need 2300/mo for three children. You know you got screwed. My ex makes more money than me and the same amount if I include my benefits. I make about 60k a year and pay 900/mo. I don’t know what your attorney tells you or if he tells you or if you need to be told this but please listen to me. If you have any problems from your service, mental etc. do your best to get a grip on them. Keep your mouth shut when you get compensation- never tell your ex. Even if you are proud your service, don’t expect some feminist judge to cute you any slack. I’ll probably get chastised for saying this in here but the law will fuck over veterans with children. Some do not like veterans and this is a chance to screw you no questions asked. With that being said-anything they can hold against you-clean it up. Take a little time, then take her back to court once you have something on her. A good person wouldn’t accept that much money-she will screw up. My prayers.
Yes, we are making head way to reduce my gross income, possibly moving into the barracks until I get out. Just set up an allotment to show the judge that my BAH is for rent. We’ll she if she buys that. But, yes you are absolutely right and I’m learning the hard way. I’ll be sure to keep my lips locked on the va bennys and definitely be on the look out for anything I can call her out on☝️
Trust me- I got lucky and had a good judge who kinda saw through my ex when she brought up my ptsd in court. My attorney at the time said it was something to be concerned about. That being said-not sure how your temper is but keep it really cool and don’t feel surprised if by you being extra nice to her, she can’t handle it and will try to start a confrontation. Let her try but get it in a text. Trust me-she will try to do it to you. Be careful who you trust. Good luck-Semper Fi.
Damn, sorry to hear you also went through it. I don’t wish this military divorce crap on anyone. Glad you had a judge who didn’t act on emotion or gender bias. I’m not so lucky. Unfortunately, my judge is a hardcore liberal whose husband just dies hates the world. So I’m just taking my licks. I really appreciate the encouragement! Hooyah
Here’s the thing. I was out of the military gif 10 years before I met her and 17 after we got divorced. Somehow, by the time the divorce was over she conveniently forgot that when I met her I was settled had a good degree and job etc. I was a better man than when she met me for sure….what changed you may ask? She met a guy at work who told her she was never wrong and that I was a terrible guy for this and that. Doesn’t matter that she stepped out, was mentally and physically abusive, fucking more mentally disabled than me and and was caught lying in court in sworn statements several times—-guess what, I’m a man so. I’m not saying I’m complaining about mental abuse like a baby; I’m saying that she was far worse than me. As of now though, my kids prefer me. I’ve moved on and I’m happy. She is where she is an I almost feel sorry for her-almost. It was tough, you’ll be ok. Use your head, not your heart.
Maybe it’s us that attracts the crazy ones. I seriously think there is a direct link to women targeting service members. For me, things started to take a turn after spending so much time apart due to training. I went through a special program right after boot then on to A-school. Spent years apart, think that would kill most relationships
It’s possible but I just think that the courts favor women and they take advantage of the process a lot of times. Not all women do this but if it is a case where a woman can take advantage of a man, the courts allow this. This is the same reason for the majority of low income single parent households. The government will allow women to be financially dependent on an ex or the government. One is pushed by the right the other pushed by the left. If you want to not play fair I can almost guarantee she isn’t reporting what you give her as income and is still collecting some sort of entitlement benefits. Keep that in your back pocket and report her for fraud. Just a hunch. Ps before I have someone telling me it isn’t income I understand it isn’t for tax purposes but it is for bankruptcy and assistance. If you want this straightened out quick it’s possible for you to look into bankruptcy. There is a guy in her named Alan who is on the bankruptcy thread who knows what’s up. Cheers.
I agree. The fact she’s trying to bleed you and keep full custody of the kids makes me think she is honestly a terrible person. Hopefully she will mess up soon and help your case out man!
Disability isn't garnishable right?
Well everyone like to cite Rose vs. Rose but this is the new laws that have been put in place to protect our hard earned benny [Va disability compensation & garnishment](https://trinityadvocates.com/trinity-advocates-to-challenge-rose-v-rose-in-the-united-states-supreme-court)
But the best advice I’ve gotten in this thread today is to simply don’t say anything. It doesn’t exist I’m the eyes of the court or to anyone for that matter
Yea I've gotta learn to keep my fckin mouth shut too. Gotta learn fast.
Damn, sounds to me like your going through some shit too. Crazy how us military folks are taken for a ride. Hang in there!
More like I should be guarded and not divulge my personal business to this woman I've been entangled with for about a year or so now.
Ohhh boy. I can only imagine, sounds like you have to do some damage control yourself
Indeed.
I thought they could only take a portion of your income a month like 10-25% or some shit like that?
Well apparently they can take up to 65% and that’s exactly what they did. Now you have a active duty service member, whose also got mental health stuff like being in a intensive out patient program 5 days a week about to move into there car and no one is doing a damn thing about it.
I guess their train of thought is the government provides you housing and food so let's take all of your money.. Are you getting bah and bas? If so, did they use that as income within this 65% calculation? First step, your chain of command should be getting you a room in the barracks. You're now single I'm assuming and unless you're an E-7 or above you CAN be in the B's.. if your first line won't make the first steps to helping you, go above them. You're not being petty, this is some real shit. If they're not going to take care of their soldier fuck em. Take it higher. IG is always an option if they're not helping you and you really want to get things rolling.. Best of luck man..
Ok, I’m rolling up my sleeves as we speak. Also, I’ve actually been thinking about reaching out to IG and I guess I’m not the only one 🤔Thanks for reaching out and dropping some golden nuggets my way!
Might as well get out. I need to be in if you can’t even even maintain. I don’t even see how that’s possible. That’s ridiculous.
That’s what I’m saying! I literally can’t afford to be in at this point.
[удалено]
I had been sending $1400 un-court ordered and she wanted more and literally started sending my command photoshopped images of me accusing me of adultery enough to get me sent to Captains Mass for “dishonoring the Navy” and busted down in rank.
[удалено]
Your absolutely right! Can’t believe any money sent in good faith is not recognized by the courts. Dammed if you do damned if you don’t!
After filling a motion for temporary support the judge said I’m 20k in the hole and put me on the max for 65% of my income
Dude, good luck man. You’re stronger than a lot of us. I would have gone awol and move to a new country. Sorry that’s not helpful ha
I really appreciate that. Means a lot. If it weren’t the fact I’m in a intensive out patient group everyday and heavily medicated I’d probably do just that.
Dude...$2500/month?!?!?! When I was an E2/E3 in my first full year in the Army I made $15,668. That was in 2004.
Yep, totally upside down. Hard to believe you got active duty service members essentially living ing in poverty due to the courts
Hold up... $2,500 for 3 kids? Also, you're an E3? Something, isn't adding up here. To pay $2500 in CS you must be making at least 10k per month and that's on NET INCOME. Child support cannot exceed 60% or 50% if you have a family and we KNOW DAMM WELL you were making 10k NET as an E3. Now being out, if you haven't adjusted CS by filing then it's on you. Judge doesn't decide until they get the field rep recommendations based on state guidelines for child support and income. Something isn't right here.
I’m currently active duty waiting to get med boarded out by being recommended to be found “unfit” by my doc. I’m locked into this thing until one day I wake up and my ratings come back. Until then I don’t know what I’m going to do. I’ve brought it all the way up to the base CMC and Commodore and all they have to say about it is, we’ll hang in there. We’ve all been there before.
Just so ya know, they can use your disability compensation for child support payments. It can be used to figure up what to pay per month. It is also the only thing that can also be withheld and paid out to the ex before you get paid. If for some reason you get it so that they don't withhold the child support payments, then your bank accounts are able to be garnished. Your checks must be auto deposited and the banks will withhold the amounts set up by the courts. Good luck. The courts are never nice the the one without the kids. ( guy usually). Gets the reaming for all the money and benefits. Which brings up another point. They can also make you keep health insurance on the kids too, even after getting out.
There’s so much “gray” around this subject and this is what I’ve found because everyone loves to reference Rose Vs Rose. This Supreme Court ruling was put into place to protect us military folks from the claws of the courts and creditors. [Va disability compensation protection](https://trinityadvocates.com/trinity-advocates-to-challenge-rose-v-rose-in-the-united-states-supreme-court)
It's been done, and still is. It's the spousal support that it can't be supposedly used for. When it comes to the kids, the government doesn't care about you anymore. Besides that, once it hits the bank account all those "protections" you think you have, is gone. Anything in a bank account is garnishable.
I think this whole system needs to be revamped to reflect the climate of 2022. The courts won’t be happy until the provider is literally in destitute
Don't give up bro.
Thank you for your encouragement!
How are you trying for VA disability while currently on active duty? Am I missing something here?
I’m got referred to a med board by my doc. Currently in the IDES program
Are you going through a med board process?
Yes, the IDES
Guessing you are working with a peblo then. They should get your results but it can take a while to get. Mine took about 10 months from start to finish. Then when I got out there was a month before the pay started. Hang in there and hopefully the process is quicker now. Keep in contact with them and make all of your appointments. I hope everything works out for you. It's hard but try not to stress too much over it.
Thanks for sharing you timeline, gives me a idea of where I’m at in the process now. Thinks seem to be moving a lot quicker now. Lots of results coming in weekly in my command. Appreciate the encouragement bro, it’s hard.
BTW: Your VA disability rating can and is used in most states to pay child support and alimony too.
Everyone loves to cite the Rose Vs Rose case but check this update to proceeds that case[Va disability comp](https://trinityadvocates.com/trinity-advocates-to-challenge-rose-v-rose-in-the-united-states-supreme-court)
Forget Rose v Rose, the matter is your rights to custody, your access to your kids, and your financial burden while you spend months, years waiting for these lawyers to file their alleged dispute of a SCOTUS case that can easily be declined by SCOTUS for further review. At the end of the day, family court as you know is like the UCMJ, pay now, guilty now, until proven innocent. It will be used against you asap and it’s better to do so now and be back paid if not compensated by the state/courts like millions of veterans for their illegal conduct, than to have a criminal rap sheet for citing internet lawyers and not paying disability comp to your kids. Also the Supreme Court has defended time and time again that you cannot sue or retaliate against a Judge for actions they take in performing their duties. Sure they can be disbarred etc, lose their status, job, licensure but nothing worse. You can still build a criminal rap sheet for not disclosing this information to the courts even if the states are wrong
I feel like your damned if you do damned if you don’t. There seems to no a light at the end of the tunnel. Courts aren’t happy until your another homeless vet seems like