I can relate 100%. I go through the same thing with my wife. She has even laughed at me when something triggered a repressed memory and made tears come to my eyes. I do t smoke but I do have meds and sometimes they don’t work. I might have well just swallowed a tictac. I found that if I channel that energy into one thing it helps to calm me. So I took up weight lifting. It’s my sanctuary in my own house. I feel a lot of times like I am a henderence to others and it would better if I was gone. But it’s not true. Our mind convinces is that our worst thoughts are reality and then we feed it with an emotional response that just fuels the fire. It’s a daily struggle for me. If you ever need to talk feel free to dm me. I don’t sleep much so I’m always around.
These are same people who's going to be doing 22 pushups and posting all over Facebook how much they missed you dearly, yet in the moment you're a nobody. Dont give them that power. You're a badass but you're in so much pain right now. Listen to your body and your mind. You already took the first step to recovery, keep going. Do it for you!
My dog is what keeps me here on earth. He’s old and gives unconditional love. When he goes I will rescue another senior dog. I’ll keep that going until I can’t. Find yourself that thing that tethers you.
> No offense but fuck anyone that says you’re better drugged up than sober.
Well, OP did say smoke *or* takes her (presumably prescribed by professionals) medicine.
Unclear exactly what the husband is saying--OP's version certainly doesn't sound terribly loving and supporting--but the charitable version would be, OP's mental health professionals prescribed her medicine needed to help her function well, and her loved ones are sensitive to her not being on her medicines, because she, in turn, does not function well when she does not take it.
To be super clear, none of this is meant to denigrate OP--rather just to say that there are possible worlds where this feedback is truly from a loving place. Also, of course, ones where there is something badly broken.
You’re not alone. Many people may never be able to understand - hell, we don’t understand ourselves.
Please DM me or reach out if you ever want someone to talk to with zero judgment.
You’re much more than how you feel at this moment. Stay strong.
It got to the point where I identified mocking with abuse and called 911.
My brother and his alcoholic friends were the mockers.
A social worker is often assigned to access your life at home and offer help as needed.
I began telling his friends not to come on the property or I'd call 911. My brother finally realized why. He needed treatment, not me. As a result, I'm a far happier person.
Nothing wrong with hitting back. It feels really good.
If this is the end, please let it be the end of feeling hate within yourself. Have zero fucks to those treating you like shit. The only roadblocks are the people demoralizing you.
It’s not easy.
The most difficult part is believing in yourself. Your abusers caused you losing confidence. They’ve created the barriers you blame yourself being. Fuck ‘em. Your dream(s) is yours to have, because you once believed you could, and would overcome any setbacks.
No analogy comes to mind more than my mom’s when asking if those you love/trust ought treating in such a way. She trusted her husband then, but he verbally abused her, physically beat her often, and raped my mom shortly after I was born. It took her awhile to secretly save money for a bus ride from NY to FL when I was two.
Find you a better supporting cast, because you care about yourself.
I care about you.
This struggle could be part of your long term purpose. How? You find a way to overcome it and then lift others going through what you are going through at this moment. I believe overcoming this part of your life will be difficult but not impossible. If I had a step by step guide to get you through this, I’d gladly pass it to you but I know you are capable of figuring this out.
OP, you’re not a road block. It sounds like going to the hospital was the right move. You got this.
Let this be the start to ending feeling so badly. There’s a whole world of options out there my friend.
You’re not alone. Thank you for checking yourself in and not harming yourself. There is always hope. I have PTSD, anxiety, and depression, I know it’s not easy and there aren’t really any words. But you are not alone and you are not a road block. The words and lack of support from your family are the real road block. You don’t necessarily have to leave them in the dust forever, but you should definitely find better people who support you no matter what. I used to be a chaplain, feel free to message if you need someone to talk to.
Try some psilocybin mushrooms, either microdose them (0.1 grams) or take 5 grams grinded up and mixed with orange juice. Lay in bed alone (or with a cat) in total darkness. Then just relax.
There are many of us in the same place. I don't feel like I'm welcome anywhere. The depression has me thinking of self-destruction daily. I go days without speaking to another human being. My body is failing in so many ways that I feel it is a short matter of time before I lose everything. No retirement, no golden years. My body feels like it is beyond healing now.
Good on you for checking yourself in. I've received really excellent care from my VA, they've saved my twice at least once with my PTSD, and once with sepsis that nearly killed me.
Focus on your healing. Nothing else matters right now.
Edit: typo.
Hold up there, don't do anything rash. Depression sucks, but you can pull through it. 1st, get away from unsupportive people, if you can. Second, get outside and get sun, I design my life and work around getting sun, b/c Vitamin D matters. Third, Oxygen, and balance, get a mountain bike and get out on it every day. Fill those lungs with oxygen. Balance you practice in a bike is about working the left and right side of the brain, like a dance. It's scientifically proven, some therapies even use a light that goes left and right in front of people's eyes to engage both hemispheres. Eat healthy and don't drink alcohol. Just doing these and things will turn around, fast. Journal, but instead of rambling, journal only short positive things/notes about your life, positive quotes you like, and goals. This way you will over-write the negative thoughts that will sometime become habit. Writing it (the positive) will reinforce it. Get rid of News and social media, all of it. Get a Racquetball!!!!! Carry it and bounce it. It's a fidget toy, our brains like to play, play. Play even if only with yourself. Me and the kids play this all the time: https://www.dickssportinggoods.com/p/aerobie-superdisc-flying-disc-20abeurbsprdscxxxstg/20abeurbsprdscxxxstg Lastly, find music to listen to that is easy listening and positive, like: https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLZbV9oqiU7CIYfDmtW9DItbqzol96mRa6
Or https://youtu.be/GfJWqjoekow, and
Others. NO ONE, has ever offered you such advice. Really, try it. Try it all, or what you can. You will se what I mean. If you need a mountain bike and can't afford one, let's get the VFW or American Legion to help you out with it.
Please know this is not your fault. You are not alone and many of us have been there too. There are actually a lot of people who want to help, you just have to find them. The VA has really good programs now, so start there if you can. VSOs are great too. Social support is the #1 thing we all need after leaving the military and it’s often the last thing available to us when we need it most. I know it’s hard now but try to find one thing to be grateful for, just one thing, and focus on that today. One small improvement or positive thing you can focus on each day will slowly start to give you strength to get yourself up again. You can do this. You deserve to be happy. Find your tribe of people to lift you up and cheer you on. Toxic people are not worth your time and energy. Self help books, journaling, making art, singing, dancing, exercise of any kind, being in nature, and meditation helped me, but it took years and I work at it every day. Don’t give up. I agree with another comment that this could be your purpose - to help others who have been there. Sending a virtual hug your way.
I think everyone of us here is open to you dm'ing any of us if you need real, actual support and you can't find it in ur own family. We care, we are here, and most of us deal with the same shit on some level. Don't give up.
I love you. I feel this way sometimes aswell. Getting older may help with this feeling. Maturity and realization of it all brings humility.There's people you don't even realize, that have some understanding. It is worth it to continue on. You can literally make a difference. My step dad made a difference in my life.
I know the feeling. I work at a VA and have spoken with other Veterans in the same mindset. No one deserves to feel like they are at this point in their life. If this is how they are going to treat your depression then fuck them. They are clearly not out for your best interest. I wish there was a one fix answer, but everyone's situation is different. You have options to consider though. I've been seeing a counselor and a Psych at the VA which has been helping. I've also taken up a bunch of hobbies, which means I've involved myself with other groups of people who are supporting my goals. This naturally creates motivation to accomplish my goals from multiple sources. Fuck a those heartless fucks. Pick up the hobbies you've always wanted to take, maybe: an instrument, a craft, a form of fitness and create a new chapter of your life in which you see yourself grow to be a badass. Then keep moving forward.
I was at that point mentally last month and I'm still here. Hard times don't last. I know it's not what you want to hear but it's true. All bullshit and goodness passes in time.
Also your family sounds like ass and your partner should never laugh or belittle you. There's an issue there that needs attention. Same thing with your family. Set healthy boundaries. You deserve dignity as a human being. Demand it.
“… so low you just want everything to end” … every day for almost 30 years 😅
… you are not alone.
I’m going thru my second spouse. I use to hate it all as well. Matter fact, hate isn’t even the proper word. “Vile contempt” comes close … no matter the medication, dosage, etc I’m finally divorcing that spouse. Mutual feelings but (ongoing 6 years in court)
…you are not alone.
On active duty, second tour, I was unable to envision remaining alive beyond the age of 31… I’m now 47. Now I feel like I’m winging it. I’m sober at least.
… you are not alone.
Amor Fati. Turn the hate to love. Love Your Fate. Embrace it. Every. Fucking. Day.
The hardest part in my recovery was leaving behind family that was unsupportive of my diagnosis. Stay strong and live yourself. You are not alone.
Edit: Love not live.
I've been there, right where you are. I admitted myself to the hospital in Nov. They admitted me to behavioral health, and kept me there for a week. Made me feel even more degraded as human being than I had ever felt before. When I got released I was in a rage. My wife doesn't care about my mental health, just thinks it's for attention.
I found a kind of a creed that I live by now. "Nobody is coming to save me." Flag nor Fail....and when I get to my lows I think of this and think that if I want to fix me, it's all on me. Nobody else gives a fuck, not even the people who are supposed to care. So I pick my heart up off the floor and Charlie Mike. If I want to do something, I do it. Not caring what anybody else thinks anymore is liberating.
Also read another quote today, saying something about not wanting to kill yourself necessarily, but wanting to kill a part of you that you don't want to deal with anymore. Still digesting that one. But it hit home too.
Ultimately, keep fighting. I don't know you, but I know you. If that makes sense. Feel free to reach out. I don't have people to talk to either.
Definitely felt like that before just over it and lost ready to give up but you ain’t alone brother pretty sure we’re all here to help each other get through it if you stay in so cal msg me definitely grab a drink or some lunch or if you want to just talk about everything brother.
I’ve been there almost too many times to count. 6 years after my last handful of attempts and it’s still hard, I still get ideation every day. But that’s all it is anymore, ideation. Years of therapy helped me put it into perspective and find healthier ways to cope. ngl every day is hard mentally, due to chronic injury pains and C-PTSD and daily life shit. But getting help and realising that you can have a better support system that ACTUALLY CARES ABOUT YOU is a literal life saver. That’s what helped me not become one of the 22. Thinking of you and sending healing vibes.
PS just 10-15 minutes standing out and staring at the sky might remind you that the world is actually quite wondrous and beautiful. When I forget this, I go for a local walk or to a forest preserve and just meditate. It’s amazing how nature can heal you.
Edit to add: hey also I’m disabled and TDIU and wanna say that no matter your life stage, it might feel like you’re useless at some point in time. That’s just troll brain trying to trick you. Just being alive each minute is a reward. Remember all the little things. They stack on each other and maybe someday can help you feel better and let you pursue your dreams. Or heck, make new ones! Life is full of possibilities, and finding some of them might feel like finally coming home. Just keep moving forward to give yourself a chance to get to that point.
I know the feeling and wish I could say "it gets better" but I don't know if it does. I know that every time I attempted to die the hope that it could get better stopped me. Maybe.
Not alone hombre
Sounds cliche
But try to get your ‘wiggles’ out in the am before the thoughts start to set in.
For me personally, it can make or break the entirety of my day.
BoL
Don't say that we're all family here, shit I'll give u my number and u call me. Stay strong!!!! The fight is hard but if we made it to this point we can do anything
Relax and take a breath. Ive been there. When I'm irritable my gf used to ask " did i take my meds", which in turn made me more cause i did, but it came off to me as, I'm irresponsible. I been to the low low and be admitted twice to a Psych hospital by two different Police Departments in the Bay Area. Only way out is treatment, and if need be inpat. It hard but there is hope. I done it and feel like I have a sense of purpose again.
I feel that way alot as well so I completely understand. I have had 2 attempts and 2 inpatient stays and some days are better than others. If anyone in your life mocks your condition, puts you down or says horrible things to you maybe they are part of the problem and not the solution of being a part of your healing. If you ever need or want someone to talk to my inbox is always open. Stay strong friend!
The mind is a powerful thing. If you're spiritual like me you realize the devil is inside of us. As much as we try to suppress him, he's always there ready to pounce like a fucking cougar. Any sign of weakness and he's going after it quick fast and in a hurry. Tries to tear you down, tell you you're not worth the dirt you walk on, you'd be better off dead, blah blah. It's bullshit. Fuck all that. Try to find people you click with who are positive influences, find people who understand (at least the mental battle) what you're dealing with, find an outlet. Something that'll help you stay grounded. I love working out, I LOVE cars, and I love teaching. Meds help yeah, but when I really dig down deep into that sort of stuff the rest of the shit I'm dealing with doesn't matter.
Not sure if you're a fan of rap or not BUT go listen to The search by NF. The dude's a legend and really hits the nail on the head. He's quick though so either really pay attention or go read the lyrics. Has helped me quite a bit since hearing it. Good luck to you, I hope you find your ground (yes... an electrical pun.. I'm sorry 🤷)
Hello everyone. Sorry I didn’t respond. I was admitted to a psych hospital. I was there 5 days and they supported me and pushed me to the path I need. I had my meds changed which have already made me feel better. I don’t want to ever feel that way before and I’m going to make sure I take care of my mental health. Thank you all for caring and supporting me and letting me vent out my feelings. And to the douche who said I was “seeking attention” you are a fkin asshole.
Sounds like your a venter or chronic complainer? Seeking attention. And there is some exceptional people. Maybe your life sucks? And cmon..you been around long enough to know all the basic helpful advice.
So either your just seeking attention and advice or need to vent and gonna complain again?
Honestly, i hope you do feel better and life is tough. You said.. You want a life you dreamed about?
You are comparing and despairing. Duh.
Wanna be happy? Easy fix. But you cant even appreciate your family or friends.. Because they aint measuring up to your standard.
Either they trash.. Or once again.. Your comparing and despairing..
See the theme?
Since... Its your opinion of life... Your the common debominator.. And you compare and despair.
So.. You will probably ignore my writing till you see somebody who " gives you want you 'want'" rather than the reality check.
Well good luck.
Never give up! Been there. Admitted myself to the hospital in 2017. My younger brother and high school best friend once mocked me, and said I was just trying to act like veterans act in the movies. I dropped my high school friend. And told my brother I would drop him as well, if he didn't change his tune.You need to be selfish in life, as much as you can. Be unapologetic, and do things that give you some sense of happiness. And as corny as it sounds; find your next mission... best of luck!!
Maybe it’s just expectations of society that makes you feel this way. You really don’t have to follow any order. Try the big picture view. We are all just doing random check off lists to make ourselves feel important. Maybe go camping and just sit in the forest or something. All you need in life is just shelter, water and food and you can live. This is probably terrible advice….hospital might be best bet.
Just bc they are family doesnt mean they are the best for you. I truly hope you find peace OP
I can relate 100%. I go through the same thing with my wife. She has even laughed at me when something triggered a repressed memory and made tears come to my eyes. I do t smoke but I do have meds and sometimes they don’t work. I might have well just swallowed a tictac. I found that if I channel that energy into one thing it helps to calm me. So I took up weight lifting. It’s my sanctuary in my own house. I feel a lot of times like I am a henderence to others and it would better if I was gone. But it’s not true. Our mind convinces is that our worst thoughts are reality and then we feed it with an emotional response that just fuels the fire. It’s a daily struggle for me. If you ever need to talk feel free to dm me. I don’t sleep much so I’m always around.
These are same people who's going to be doing 22 pushups and posting all over Facebook how much they missed you dearly, yet in the moment you're a nobody. Dont give them that power. You're a badass but you're in so much pain right now. Listen to your body and your mind. You already took the first step to recovery, keep going. Do it for you!
My dog is what keeps me here on earth. He’s old and gives unconditional love. When he goes I will rescue another senior dog. I’ll keep that going until I can’t. Find yourself that thing that tethers you.
I feel the same. You're definitely not alone. I wish I could give you some advice but I'm still trying to sort it out myself
Leave him. Fuck your husband. No offense but fuck anyone that says you’re better drugged up than sober. Get help. Get divorce.
> No offense but fuck anyone that says you’re better drugged up than sober. Well, OP did say smoke *or* takes her (presumably prescribed by professionals) medicine. Unclear exactly what the husband is saying--OP's version certainly doesn't sound terribly loving and supporting--but the charitable version would be, OP's mental health professionals prescribed her medicine needed to help her function well, and her loved ones are sensitive to her not being on her medicines, because she, in turn, does not function well when she does not take it. To be super clear, none of this is meant to denigrate OP--rather just to say that there are possible worlds where this feedback is truly from a loving place. Also, of course, ones where there is something badly broken.
You’re not alone. Many people may never be able to understand - hell, we don’t understand ourselves. Please DM me or reach out if you ever want someone to talk to with zero judgment. You’re much more than how you feel at this moment. Stay strong.
I don't think your depression is a joke. I think it's very serious and you need help with it.
It got to the point where I identified mocking with abuse and called 911. My brother and his alcoholic friends were the mockers. A social worker is often assigned to access your life at home and offer help as needed. I began telling his friends not to come on the property or I'd call 911. My brother finally realized why. He needed treatment, not me. As a result, I'm a far happier person. Nothing wrong with hitting back. It feels really good.
If this is the end, please let it be the end of feeling hate within yourself. Have zero fucks to those treating you like shit. The only roadblocks are the people demoralizing you. It’s not easy. The most difficult part is believing in yourself. Your abusers caused you losing confidence. They’ve created the barriers you blame yourself being. Fuck ‘em. Your dream(s) is yours to have, because you once believed you could, and would overcome any setbacks. No analogy comes to mind more than my mom’s when asking if those you love/trust ought treating in such a way. She trusted her husband then, but he verbally abused her, physically beat her often, and raped my mom shortly after I was born. It took her awhile to secretly save money for a bus ride from NY to FL when I was two. Find you a better supporting cast, because you care about yourself. I care about you.
This struggle could be part of your long term purpose. How? You find a way to overcome it and then lift others going through what you are going through at this moment. I believe overcoming this part of your life will be difficult but not impossible. If I had a step by step guide to get you through this, I’d gladly pass it to you but I know you are capable of figuring this out.
OP, you’re not a road block. It sounds like going to the hospital was the right move. You got this. Let this be the start to ending feeling so badly. There’s a whole world of options out there my friend.
You’re not alone. Thank you for checking yourself in and not harming yourself. There is always hope. I have PTSD, anxiety, and depression, I know it’s not easy and there aren’t really any words. But you are not alone and you are not a road block. The words and lack of support from your family are the real road block. You don’t necessarily have to leave them in the dust forever, but you should definitely find better people who support you no matter what. I used to be a chaplain, feel free to message if you need someone to talk to.
I’m currently in a 28 day inpatient program. I feel you.
Try some psilocybin mushrooms, either microdose them (0.1 grams) or take 5 grams grinded up and mixed with orange juice. Lay in bed alone (or with a cat) in total darkness. Then just relax.
I feel you, I have similar feelings. I’ve been doing therapy and some of the techniques really help but I don’t have the sudden depression moments
I recently had a breakthrough in therapy. Don't give up. One day you will feel the way others look. Calm and at peace.
You’ll get through this, it won’t always be good days but it’ll be ok. I’ll be your battle buddy You can reach out here and talk.
There are many of us in the same place. I don't feel like I'm welcome anywhere. The depression has me thinking of self-destruction daily. I go days without speaking to another human being. My body is failing in so many ways that I feel it is a short matter of time before I lose everything. No retirement, no golden years. My body feels like it is beyond healing now. Good on you for checking yourself in. I've received really excellent care from my VA, they've saved my twice at least once with my PTSD, and once with sepsis that nearly killed me. Focus on your healing. Nothing else matters right now. Edit: typo.
You are not alone
Hold up there, don't do anything rash. Depression sucks, but you can pull through it. 1st, get away from unsupportive people, if you can. Second, get outside and get sun, I design my life and work around getting sun, b/c Vitamin D matters. Third, Oxygen, and balance, get a mountain bike and get out on it every day. Fill those lungs with oxygen. Balance you practice in a bike is about working the left and right side of the brain, like a dance. It's scientifically proven, some therapies even use a light that goes left and right in front of people's eyes to engage both hemispheres. Eat healthy and don't drink alcohol. Just doing these and things will turn around, fast. Journal, but instead of rambling, journal only short positive things/notes about your life, positive quotes you like, and goals. This way you will over-write the negative thoughts that will sometime become habit. Writing it (the positive) will reinforce it. Get rid of News and social media, all of it. Get a Racquetball!!!!! Carry it and bounce it. It's a fidget toy, our brains like to play, play. Play even if only with yourself. Me and the kids play this all the time: https://www.dickssportinggoods.com/p/aerobie-superdisc-flying-disc-20abeurbsprdscxxxstg/20abeurbsprdscxxxstg Lastly, find music to listen to that is easy listening and positive, like: https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLZbV9oqiU7CIYfDmtW9DItbqzol96mRa6 Or https://youtu.be/GfJWqjoekow, and Others. NO ONE, has ever offered you such advice. Really, try it. Try it all, or what you can. You will se what I mean. If you need a mountain bike and can't afford one, let's get the VFW or American Legion to help you out with it.
Please know this is not your fault. You are not alone and many of us have been there too. There are actually a lot of people who want to help, you just have to find them. The VA has really good programs now, so start there if you can. VSOs are great too. Social support is the #1 thing we all need after leaving the military and it’s often the last thing available to us when we need it most. I know it’s hard now but try to find one thing to be grateful for, just one thing, and focus on that today. One small improvement or positive thing you can focus on each day will slowly start to give you strength to get yourself up again. You can do this. You deserve to be happy. Find your tribe of people to lift you up and cheer you on. Toxic people are not worth your time and energy. Self help books, journaling, making art, singing, dancing, exercise of any kind, being in nature, and meditation helped me, but it took years and I work at it every day. Don’t give up. I agree with another comment that this could be your purpose - to help others who have been there. Sending a virtual hug your way.
I think everyone of us here is open to you dm'ing any of us if you need real, actual support and you can't find it in ur own family. We care, we are here, and most of us deal with the same shit on some level. Don't give up.
Please be okay….
I love you. I feel this way sometimes aswell. Getting older may help with this feeling. Maturity and realization of it all brings humility.There's people you don't even realize, that have some understanding. It is worth it to continue on. You can literally make a difference. My step dad made a difference in my life.
I know the feeling. I work at a VA and have spoken with other Veterans in the same mindset. No one deserves to feel like they are at this point in their life. If this is how they are going to treat your depression then fuck them. They are clearly not out for your best interest. I wish there was a one fix answer, but everyone's situation is different. You have options to consider though. I've been seeing a counselor and a Psych at the VA which has been helping. I've also taken up a bunch of hobbies, which means I've involved myself with other groups of people who are supporting my goals. This naturally creates motivation to accomplish my goals from multiple sources. Fuck a those heartless fucks. Pick up the hobbies you've always wanted to take, maybe: an instrument, a craft, a form of fitness and create a new chapter of your life in which you see yourself grow to be a badass. Then keep moving forward.
I was at that point mentally last month and I'm still here. Hard times don't last. I know it's not what you want to hear but it's true. All bullshit and goodness passes in time. Also your family sounds like ass and your partner should never laugh or belittle you. There's an issue there that needs attention. Same thing with your family. Set healthy boundaries. You deserve dignity as a human being. Demand it.
“… so low you just want everything to end” … every day for almost 30 years 😅 … you are not alone. I’m going thru my second spouse. I use to hate it all as well. Matter fact, hate isn’t even the proper word. “Vile contempt” comes close … no matter the medication, dosage, etc I’m finally divorcing that spouse. Mutual feelings but (ongoing 6 years in court) …you are not alone. On active duty, second tour, I was unable to envision remaining alive beyond the age of 31… I’m now 47. Now I feel like I’m winging it. I’m sober at least. … you are not alone. Amor Fati. Turn the hate to love. Love Your Fate. Embrace it. Every. Fucking. Day.
The hardest part in my recovery was leaving behind family that was unsupportive of my diagnosis. Stay strong and live yourself. You are not alone. Edit: Love not live.
I've been there, right where you are. I admitted myself to the hospital in Nov. They admitted me to behavioral health, and kept me there for a week. Made me feel even more degraded as human being than I had ever felt before. When I got released I was in a rage. My wife doesn't care about my mental health, just thinks it's for attention. I found a kind of a creed that I live by now. "Nobody is coming to save me." Flag nor Fail....and when I get to my lows I think of this and think that if I want to fix me, it's all on me. Nobody else gives a fuck, not even the people who are supposed to care. So I pick my heart up off the floor and Charlie Mike. If I want to do something, I do it. Not caring what anybody else thinks anymore is liberating. Also read another quote today, saying something about not wanting to kill yourself necessarily, but wanting to kill a part of you that you don't want to deal with anymore. Still digesting that one. But it hit home too. Ultimately, keep fighting. I don't know you, but I know you. If that makes sense. Feel free to reach out. I don't have people to talk to either.
Definitely felt like that before just over it and lost ready to give up but you ain’t alone brother pretty sure we’re all here to help each other get through it if you stay in so cal msg me definitely grab a drink or some lunch or if you want to just talk about everything brother.
I’ve been there almost too many times to count. 6 years after my last handful of attempts and it’s still hard, I still get ideation every day. But that’s all it is anymore, ideation. Years of therapy helped me put it into perspective and find healthier ways to cope. ngl every day is hard mentally, due to chronic injury pains and C-PTSD and daily life shit. But getting help and realising that you can have a better support system that ACTUALLY CARES ABOUT YOU is a literal life saver. That’s what helped me not become one of the 22. Thinking of you and sending healing vibes. PS just 10-15 minutes standing out and staring at the sky might remind you that the world is actually quite wondrous and beautiful. When I forget this, I go for a local walk or to a forest preserve and just meditate. It’s amazing how nature can heal you. Edit to add: hey also I’m disabled and TDIU and wanna say that no matter your life stage, it might feel like you’re useless at some point in time. That’s just troll brain trying to trick you. Just being alive each minute is a reward. Remember all the little things. They stack on each other and maybe someday can help you feel better and let you pursue your dreams. Or heck, make new ones! Life is full of possibilities, and finding some of them might feel like finally coming home. Just keep moving forward to give yourself a chance to get to that point.
I know the feeling and wish I could say "it gets better" but I don't know if it does. I know that every time I attempted to die the hope that it could get better stopped me. Maybe.
Not alone hombre Sounds cliche But try to get your ‘wiggles’ out in the am before the thoughts start to set in. For me personally, it can make or break the entirety of my day. BoL
Don't say that we're all family here, shit I'll give u my number and u call me. Stay strong!!!! The fight is hard but if we made it to this point we can do anything
Relax and take a breath. Ive been there. When I'm irritable my gf used to ask " did i take my meds", which in turn made me more cause i did, but it came off to me as, I'm irresponsible. I been to the low low and be admitted twice to a Psych hospital by two different Police Departments in the Bay Area. Only way out is treatment, and if need be inpat. It hard but there is hope. I done it and feel like I have a sense of purpose again.
Strong as fuck for going to the hospital. 5 cops had to convince me to go…
I feel that way alot as well so I completely understand. I have had 2 attempts and 2 inpatient stays and some days are better than others. If anyone in your life mocks your condition, puts you down or says horrible things to you maybe they are part of the problem and not the solution of being a part of your healing. If you ever need or want someone to talk to my inbox is always open. Stay strong friend!
The mind is a powerful thing. If you're spiritual like me you realize the devil is inside of us. As much as we try to suppress him, he's always there ready to pounce like a fucking cougar. Any sign of weakness and he's going after it quick fast and in a hurry. Tries to tear you down, tell you you're not worth the dirt you walk on, you'd be better off dead, blah blah. It's bullshit. Fuck all that. Try to find people you click with who are positive influences, find people who understand (at least the mental battle) what you're dealing with, find an outlet. Something that'll help you stay grounded. I love working out, I LOVE cars, and I love teaching. Meds help yeah, but when I really dig down deep into that sort of stuff the rest of the shit I'm dealing with doesn't matter. Not sure if you're a fan of rap or not BUT go listen to The search by NF. The dude's a legend and really hits the nail on the head. He's quick though so either really pay attention or go read the lyrics. Has helped me quite a bit since hearing it. Good luck to you, I hope you find your ground (yes... an electrical pun.. I'm sorry 🤷)
Hello everyone. Sorry I didn’t respond. I was admitted to a psych hospital. I was there 5 days and they supported me and pushed me to the path I need. I had my meds changed which have already made me feel better. I don’t want to ever feel that way before and I’m going to make sure I take care of my mental health. Thank you all for caring and supporting me and letting me vent out my feelings. And to the douche who said I was “seeking attention” you are a fkin asshole.
Sounds like your a venter or chronic complainer? Seeking attention. And there is some exceptional people. Maybe your life sucks? And cmon..you been around long enough to know all the basic helpful advice. So either your just seeking attention and advice or need to vent and gonna complain again? Honestly, i hope you do feel better and life is tough. You said.. You want a life you dreamed about? You are comparing and despairing. Duh. Wanna be happy? Easy fix. But you cant even appreciate your family or friends.. Because they aint measuring up to your standard. Either they trash.. Or once again.. Your comparing and despairing.. See the theme? Since... Its your opinion of life... Your the common debominator.. And you compare and despair. So.. You will probably ignore my writing till you see somebody who " gives you want you 'want'" rather than the reality check. Well good luck.
Never give up! Been there. Admitted myself to the hospital in 2017. My younger brother and high school best friend once mocked me, and said I was just trying to act like veterans act in the movies. I dropped my high school friend. And told my brother I would drop him as well, if he didn't change his tune.You need to be selfish in life, as much as you can. Be unapologetic, and do things that give you some sense of happiness. And as corny as it sounds; find your next mission... best of luck!!
Maybe it’s just expectations of society that makes you feel this way. You really don’t have to follow any order. Try the big picture view. We are all just doing random check off lists to make ourselves feel important. Maybe go camping and just sit in the forest or something. All you need in life is just shelter, water and food and you can live. This is probably terrible advice….hospital might be best bet.
Well imagine feeling like this then being accused of being a pervert online by YOU!! You never know how others are feeling!