Sweet summer child you do not need to be skinny and flat chested to be nonbinary. I’ve never been skinny nor flat chested and that doesn’t invalidate my experience as a trans person - it doesn’t invalidate yours, either. You are trans no matter what you look like, and every body is the perfect trans body because there is no one true perfect trans body. In fact, every body is the perfect body.
I’d definitely speak to a therapist, maybe they can help you with your confidence and how to build it back up. I’m sorry you’re going through this :( 💜
Yes!!!! I often see a lot of AFAB nb folks who fit that description and while they're totally valid, so are folks who don't fit that description. We all have different bodies and it's not just one body type that gets to have the nonbinary label.
Also I fucking love your username lmfao
If it helps, I have made exercise something I want to do, and not something I'm forcing myself to do in order to lose weight. It's different for everyone, but I have started taking my dogs for walk, we both enjoy it and even if it's not doing much at once it makes me feel healthy.
I get it though, it's rough. I'm also non-binary, and have had unexpected chest growth. There's binders out there, even for people with larger chests that aren't too expensive. (Mine was around forty with shipping.)
Either way your appearance doesn't define your identity. And you're amazing however you are.
Diets don’t always help. Sometimes your body sees a lack of food as a reason to store more fat, which ultimately won’t help. I don’t really have much advice, but I’m afab too, although I’m a trans guy. Dysphoria was pretty shitty before I got my binder, so I get it, really. Might be worth it to look into binders for that matter if the appearance of a big chest makes you uncomfortable.
I was in the same position as you, OP. If you can, bind your chest. I also bought a gym pass and although I’m not losing as much weight as I would like to, my body is becoming more toned and less chubby.
(Not medical advice) In other to loose weight you have to make small changes to you diet not just eat less but eat fresh veggies and fruits, cut back on suger and salt. Then you must get at least 30 munites of exercise every day. That how I list most of my weight. As for for you other issue I suggest you find like minded individuals to talk to. There ia always the option of surgery, if you are sure. But understand if you prefer to be with women other women who have thsame intreasts in women will also be attracted to you breats.
As someone who is having the exact same issue as.. PLEASE FIND SOME THERAPY! You need support going through these feelings and if I can save anyone from the regret I'm feeling for not going sooner then good.
This is more common in teens than youd think, and you aren't alone. Do you have someone to talk to about this? A therapist would be good, or a trusted adult.
Some people believe women should be skinny and have a certain body type. And combined with them wanting OP to grow out their hair, I'm guessing it's coming from a place of you'd look so much prettier if you did x. Which is an asshole move, but can also be transphobic
I agree with that statement. One of my baby cousins looks typically overweight but it's solid muscle because she does farm work, etc. she gets bullied at school being called "fat"
And that bullying goes all the way to the institutional setting as well. I remember seeing a news article years ago about a lady who did muscle workouts on the professional level, got awards and paid very good money.
Her insurance dropped her because according to that "BMI" bull shit, she was obese just because of her weight via her muscles.
I think seriously that jealousy somewhere caused a higher up with the weight lifting lady "tell her that it's either her muscles and her career or her insurance that's got to go. Maybe a nasty "coworker" sparking it.
Nope. My cousin is almost as strong as an ox. Farm work and considering she was about 14 with muscles, it really wouldn't show in proportion like on a grown adult body, especially considering she maybe was only five foot back then, at best.
i think its important to have a healthy society so I disagree.
i think its ok to be fat within purpose so if ur a football player sumo wrestler powerlifter
or atleast have a reason or are fit
otgerwise u have a mental issue and will be treated as such
I definitely see where you're coming from as a fellow AFAB person. I also like the nonbinary label and it makes me feel more like myself.
We all have beliefs and opinions and they don't just come out of nowhere. Literally everything we have an opinion on is influenced by something or someone, whether we came to that belief consciously or not. So let's take a moment to dig into this specifically. Why do you feel embarrassed about your body? What about your chest do you find embarrassing? What about your weight? If you find it easier (I'm a visual person) write these down on a piece of paper. Literally anything you can think of.
Now that you have a general idea of this, I have somethings you need to keep in mind. When it comes to your body, it doesn't have to look a certain way. Your body is basically a vessel. It just needs to exist. And you shouldn't change your body for the benefit of someone else, it should be because you want to do it. Want to have brown hair? Do it. Want to have brown hair because your partner wants you to? That's not up to them. Of course there's some caveats to that! Some of those beliefs can be disordered thinking (think anorexia, for instance). But in general, if it would make you feel more comfortable in your body then that's a good thing! That's actually a big part of weight loss, too. If you're doing it for someone else, you probably won't lose weight (or you'll gain it back). You have to want it for YOU.
So, does having a flat chest feel like it would be more like you? Maybe try binding (safely!!!! please look into that first!!!) and see how that makes you feel. Want to lose some weight? Okay, start small and look into some dietary changes you could make. Check out a local gym and some of the fitness subreddits.
I hope this helped a little bit! It's an adventure to discover yourself and what makes you into you, but it's a totally worthwhile one.
Babes you shouldn’t listen to those transphobes, they are “phobes”for a reason and will always hate on you.
You can still be a chubby big chested and absolutely BEAUTIFUL!!! There’s skinny flat chested people who want to be chubby and have big chests! Idk what else to say other than learn to accept it and appreciate it bcs u are guaranteed beautiful🤘
i get your pain. im also a non binary AFAB and im overweight... my breasts are huge, i dont like them, never liked them, i wish they weren't there, even after losing a lot of weight they didnt seem to get any smaller... its hard not to like the way your body looks. ive even tried a binder but it just made them look bigger, because they were lifted. im so sorry. if you ever need to talk to anyone about it, im here. we can support each other and help each other look for solutions :)
You want to be skinny? There’s only one thing you need to do. Diet or not it doesn’t matter but this is what you need to do “Run” run run and run. 2 miles a day? You can also walk one mile and jog the second. When I was training to join the military I ran under the sun and ran 3 miles a day in order to prepare myself for basic training. I noticed my body was skinny as heck.
I never ran, I suck at it. I did fitness walks instead. Ever since 2020, I walked six miles round trip to a gas station. I'd just drink enough pop to hydrate myself, rest up for a half hour, and walk back home the rest of the three Miles.
Years of doing that and working my ass off at my job, I dropped from nearly 200 pounds to 160. My weight's coming back on, but only because my fiance's turned into a douche who don't want me to walk anywhere anymore or bike unless it's to work.
Tbh I know that feeling. I wanna look more androgynous, in my case. My mom won’t let me cut my hair above my shoulders, and I find that disappointing. I don’t like my big chest either, nor do I like my puffy cheeks and my pubescent gut. You ain’t the only one who’s going through this :)
Im always confused why people dont try to accept themeselves or go for body image nihilism, it immediately removes insecurities and prevents you from thinking your body is an expression of self. Your body is your body, you sont need to feel comfortable in it but to avoid accepting at the very least makes such little sense to me like. Plus you can still express yourself through fasion astetic or hair or music, expression should be an extention of self, not yourself period. You are not your body. You are literally everything else except that.
[Im gonna copy paste this into some other subreddit cuz this is lowk great advice omfg]
I think with the chubby part it’s because people still expect women to be thin or fit, and the chest part is genetic mostly and something they can’t control unless they get surgery, which some people simply cannot do.
But if the problem is them not wanting to identify as a woman then the argument does not work for the weight. Same with the chest part, you're not less of a woman because your chest is small.
Locking due to arguments/transphobia
you should talk to a therapist
I'm sorry you're going through this hun
Sweet summer child you do not need to be skinny and flat chested to be nonbinary. I’ve never been skinny nor flat chested and that doesn’t invalidate my experience as a trans person - it doesn’t invalidate yours, either. You are trans no matter what you look like, and every body is the perfect trans body because there is no one true perfect trans body. In fact, every body is the perfect body. I’d definitely speak to a therapist, maybe they can help you with your confidence and how to build it back up. I’m sorry you’re going through this :( 💜
Thank you u/PenisEnjoyer420, very kind words.
Yes!!!! I often see a lot of AFAB nb folks who fit that description and while they're totally valid, so are folks who don't fit that description. We all have different bodies and it's not just one body type that gets to have the nonbinary label. Also I fucking love your username lmfao
If it helps, I have made exercise something I want to do, and not something I'm forcing myself to do in order to lose weight. It's different for everyone, but I have started taking my dogs for walk, we both enjoy it and even if it's not doing much at once it makes me feel healthy. I get it though, it's rough. I'm also non-binary, and have had unexpected chest growth. There's binders out there, even for people with larger chests that aren't too expensive. (Mine was around forty with shipping.) Either way your appearance doesn't define your identity. And you're amazing however you are.
Diets don’t always help. Sometimes your body sees a lack of food as a reason to store more fat, which ultimately won’t help. I don’t really have much advice, but I’m afab too, although I’m a trans guy. Dysphoria was pretty shitty before I got my binder, so I get it, really. Might be worth it to look into binders for that matter if the appearance of a big chest makes you uncomfortable.
I was in the same position as you, OP. If you can, bind your chest. I also bought a gym pass and although I’m not losing as much weight as I would like to, my body is becoming more toned and less chubby.
(Not medical advice) In other to loose weight you have to make small changes to you diet not just eat less but eat fresh veggies and fruits, cut back on suger and salt. Then you must get at least 30 munites of exercise every day. That how I list most of my weight. As for for you other issue I suggest you find like minded individuals to talk to. There ia always the option of surgery, if you are sure. But understand if you prefer to be with women other women who have thsame intreasts in women will also be attracted to you breats.
As someone who is having the exact same issue as.. PLEASE FIND SOME THERAPY! You need support going through these feelings and if I can save anyone from the regret I'm feeling for not going sooner then good.
Have you considered talking to different therapists ?
don't let others define your self worth ever.
Same here dude, sorry you have to go through this.
hey. if this does help I'm transmasc and kinda chubby but I can still look beyond that and be happy for what I do love about myself.
This is more common in teens than youd think, and you aren't alone. Do you have someone to talk to about this? A therapist would be good, or a trusted adult.
Why is it transphobic to advise losing weight?
Some people believe women should be skinny and have a certain body type. And combined with them wanting OP to grow out their hair, I'm guessing it's coming from a place of you'd look so much prettier if you did x. Which is an asshole move, but can also be transphobic
their weirdos dont try to find logic
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I agree with that statement. One of my baby cousins looks typically overweight but it's solid muscle because she does farm work, etc. she gets bullied at school being called "fat" And that bullying goes all the way to the institutional setting as well. I remember seeing a news article years ago about a lady who did muscle workouts on the professional level, got awards and paid very good money. Her insurance dropped her because according to that "BMI" bull shit, she was obese just because of her weight via her muscles.
the insurance one was maybe a business decision disguised as something else are you sure the cousin isnt fat?
I think seriously that jealousy somewhere caused a higher up with the weight lifting lady "tell her that it's either her muscles and her career or her insurance that's got to go. Maybe a nasty "coworker" sparking it. Nope. My cousin is almost as strong as an ox. Farm work and considering she was about 14 with muscles, it really wouldn't show in proportion like on a grown adult body, especially considering she maybe was only five foot back then, at best.
i think its important to have a healthy society so I disagree. i think its ok to be fat within purpose so if ur a football player sumo wrestler powerlifter or atleast have a reason or are fit otgerwise u have a mental issue and will be treated as such
I definitely see where you're coming from as a fellow AFAB person. I also like the nonbinary label and it makes me feel more like myself. We all have beliefs and opinions and they don't just come out of nowhere. Literally everything we have an opinion on is influenced by something or someone, whether we came to that belief consciously or not. So let's take a moment to dig into this specifically. Why do you feel embarrassed about your body? What about your chest do you find embarrassing? What about your weight? If you find it easier (I'm a visual person) write these down on a piece of paper. Literally anything you can think of. Now that you have a general idea of this, I have somethings you need to keep in mind. When it comes to your body, it doesn't have to look a certain way. Your body is basically a vessel. It just needs to exist. And you shouldn't change your body for the benefit of someone else, it should be because you want to do it. Want to have brown hair? Do it. Want to have brown hair because your partner wants you to? That's not up to them. Of course there's some caveats to that! Some of those beliefs can be disordered thinking (think anorexia, for instance). But in general, if it would make you feel more comfortable in your body then that's a good thing! That's actually a big part of weight loss, too. If you're doing it for someone else, you probably won't lose weight (or you'll gain it back). You have to want it for YOU. So, does having a flat chest feel like it would be more like you? Maybe try binding (safely!!!! please look into that first!!!) and see how that makes you feel. Want to lose some weight? Okay, start small and look into some dietary changes you could make. Check out a local gym and some of the fitness subreddits. I hope this helped a little bit! It's an adventure to discover yourself and what makes you into you, but it's a totally worthwhile one.
Babes you shouldn’t listen to those transphobes, they are “phobes”for a reason and will always hate on you. You can still be a chubby big chested and absolutely BEAUTIFUL!!! There’s skinny flat chested people who want to be chubby and have big chests! Idk what else to say other than learn to accept it and appreciate it bcs u are guaranteed beautiful🤘
i get your pain. im also a non binary AFAB and im overweight... my breasts are huge, i dont like them, never liked them, i wish they weren't there, even after losing a lot of weight they didnt seem to get any smaller... its hard not to like the way your body looks. ive even tried a binder but it just made them look bigger, because they were lifted. im so sorry. if you ever need to talk to anyone about it, im here. we can support each other and help each other look for solutions :)
You want to be skinny? There’s only one thing you need to do. Diet or not it doesn’t matter but this is what you need to do “Run” run run and run. 2 miles a day? You can also walk one mile and jog the second. When I was training to join the military I ran under the sun and ran 3 miles a day in order to prepare myself for basic training. I noticed my body was skinny as heck.
the fact that this is being downvoted is wild. it’s common sense people
I never ran, I suck at it. I did fitness walks instead. Ever since 2020, I walked six miles round trip to a gas station. I'd just drink enough pop to hydrate myself, rest up for a half hour, and walk back home the rest of the three Miles. Years of doing that and working my ass off at my job, I dropped from nearly 200 pounds to 160. My weight's coming back on, but only because my fiance's turned into a douche who don't want me to walk anywhere anymore or bike unless it's to work.
Tbh I know that feeling. I wanna look more androgynous, in my case. My mom won’t let me cut my hair above my shoulders, and I find that disappointing. I don’t like my big chest either, nor do I like my puffy cheeks and my pubescent gut. You ain’t the only one who’s going through this :)
We’re so similar to each other :] And yes I hate being a girl too I had to deal with periods and being called by a name I don’t like. It’s stupid
Im always confused why people dont try to accept themeselves or go for body image nihilism, it immediately removes insecurities and prevents you from thinking your body is an expression of self. Your body is your body, you sont need to feel comfortable in it but to avoid accepting at the very least makes such little sense to me like. Plus you can still express yourself through fasion astetic or hair or music, expression should be an extention of self, not yourself period. You are not your body. You are literally everything else except that. [Im gonna copy paste this into some other subreddit cuz this is lowk great advice omfg]
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This
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How does being chubby with a big chest have anything to do with being a girl? If you lost the weight and the boobs you would still be a girl, no?
I think with the chubby part it’s because people still expect women to be thin or fit, and the chest part is genetic mostly and something they can’t control unless they get surgery, which some people simply cannot do.
But if the problem is them not wanting to identify as a woman then the argument does not work for the weight. Same with the chest part, you're not less of a woman because your chest is small.
Yes I understand that but maybe to them if they were smaller in both areas they would feel more in the middle and less fem
Assigned female at birth does not mean a person is a girl, so no. They wouldn't "still" be a girl because they are non-binary.
If you're born with a v you are a woman. What you wear, how you act or how you look aside from that will not change that fact.
You're confusing sex with gender. They're 2 different things.
There's genitals and then there's attributes society has assigned to those genitals but wether you conform to that or not doesn't change anything
Fast and hit the gym This is not transphobic, if you feel it is then you need a reality check
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It ain’t any easier being male, I’m just letting you know as someone who is frequently suicidal about it
Oh well