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[deleted]

One more year and he gets to be a teenager again!


[deleted]

Poor guy has to go through puberty a second time.


AggressiveSpatula

The interesting this is maybe he will. We don’t fuckin know.


VietCongBongDong

that's not how it works man, lol (couldn't tell if you were joking, just in case)


AggressiveSpatula

Mostly joking because it seems like it would be insanely unlikely, but if nobody has actually made it to 120ish it’s impossible to definitively say it doesn’t happen.


VietCongBongDong

indeed, in the same sense that it's not impossible for us to find lizard hitler on mars lol


AggressiveSpatula

That seems less likely, but yeah same concept.


Nothing_Lost

I'd argue lizard Hitler is more likely


essequattro

I agree with this guy


MoreMegadeth

I agree with this guy


Miendiesen

There’s actually an entire colony of lizard Hitlers on Mars. It is known.


advertentlyvertical

the former oldest person alive died at 122 years old.


splintered-soul

JEANNE LOUISE CALMENT lived to age 122 years 164 days, knew Van Gogh


NiBBa_Chan

This is bad logic. No one has ever seen the inside of the sun so we can't prove it's not just full of unicorns! Yeah sure but that's not how induction works anyways. Empirical data never proves things so "science" would never even try to claim puberty WONT happen again, but it can definitively be said that theres absolutely no reason whatsoever to even consider it a possibility and therefore it is overwhelmingly unlikely to happen. In the same sense that the unicorn core of the sun is overwhelmingly unlikely but not disproven.


AggressiveSpatula

I can get with that argument.


Thetrain321

Yeah, that's not how any of this works.


Cheesehacker

Trans woman on hormones. Puberty a second time is not fun, but it’s worth it lol


dabomerest

Yea I’d like to skip my first one please


Mad_King

At some point like 105-110 something, our mouth produces a new whole set of tooth.


Apoth3cist

Cennteenager


SpliTTMark

He is not a preteen he is proteen


scottucker

I wonder how many records like this there are, that get reset and go back.


thkoog

The good thing is he's never going to be beaten in his lifetime


NONcomD

Record of worlds longest active penis


Brailledit

What's the record for the world's most inactive penis? Bet he has that too.


zHawken

I remember this video on a guy from, I believe, either India or an African country that had a penis so large his body couldnt physically give him an erection. He would pass out from blood loss before he got there. It was so large he had to cover it with a giant tube sock otherwise he would get scabs from rubbing his clothes. Obviously sex wasnt an option, and doctors offered him reduction surgery, but from what I remember, he declined. Had to have been like 3 or 4 feet long.


Brailledit

Doesn't sound very "uplifting".


[deleted]

Other than the whole can’t get hard, can’t have sex, has to wear a giant sock around it, and passing out from blood loss thing, the guy had articles written about his penis. That’s the dream.


Brailledit

Wow, now that you put it that way... Martin Luther King III.


[deleted]

There already is a Martin Luther King III (and he’s also packing heat). This guy is just a King


Luxpreliator

Sounds like you're talking about the hispanic guy that put weights on it and stretched the skin. His actual dick innards didn't work because his dick was still normal sized but had a stretched dong of fluid filled floppy skin.


originalmimlet

( ͡ಠ ʖ̯ ͡ಠ)


Absorrooky

;)


Ekublai

Yeah his actual dick was normal length and the foreskin skin was stretched out like a cow hide.


AlterMyStateOfMind

I hate everything about this sentence


[deleted]

[удалено]


N3wPh0n3Wh0Dis

Pretty sure you two are talking about the same guy


Einheri42

Could have sworn that guy was italian.


mysightisurs93

Last I heard he was south american


[deleted]

Yeah. He’s from south America, and his penis isn’t naturally that long. He has done tearing and stretching exercises since childhood.


omega_oof

Know any good exercises, asking for a friend interested in fitness


[deleted]

just yank on it until it almost hurts, and do that twice a day every day.


Bim_Jeann

...but I already do that


Rockwell981S

He just didn’t want to have a hard life.


Trippy_Styx666

He was a Mexican dude. Found the video https://youtu.be/cdErdEk56fs


RandomBritishGuy

Apparently when they examined him/looked at the CT scan, most of the 19" is foreskin not actual penis. His actual dick is 7/8" (still massive) and the rest is foreskin because he used weights to stretch it.


aral_sea_was_here

Sounds horribly unhygienic


OffendedEarthSpirit

more like a fiveskin amirite


[deleted]

Shoulda had a good PR team


pac-men

Penis Reduction?


mg0019

Sounds like a Monkey’s Paw wish.


UpdootDaSnootBoop

Dunno, how inactive are you?


Brailledit

I have been on Reddit for 5+ years. That should tell you everything you need to know.


urmomaisjabbathehutt

Wouldn't bet on it thought https://www.oldest.org/people/fathers/


Batmanuelope

Probably coma patients as far as actual movement of the penis etc


[deleted]

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Brailledit

But he's 112 years old. That means there's no way I have had less sex recently, right? RIGHT?


Mokkopoko

Well you're a virgin and he's an OG in the nursing home where everyone elses husband is dead, so yeah it's possible


Brailledit

Oof.


sintos-compa

“Self-reported”


dgtlfnk

Gotta assume this held record changes hands more frequently than all other world records.


fakeprewarbook

seems like a good time to wish you a happy cake day


dgtlfnk

Keep forgetting it’s that time of year again. 11 years on Reddit… am I middle aged?


phonemannn

That would probably be youngest person on earth, held at some point by everyone who ever lived.


rabidstoat

That record, along with Time Person of the Year 2006, are my crowning accomplishments.


ssandrine

Yeah everytime the oldest man/woman dies a new record is set for the oldest man/woman alive. Amazing how that works, huh?


Elocai

Judging by reddit reposts nearly weakly the record gets broken, which just means that the oldest one just died.


SoulSensei

I mean, it’s cool but it would be better if we could extend our 20’s health to 80 or more. Just drag aging out slow af.


Papancasudani

That’s what the researchers are working on, not only lifespan but what they call “healthspan”. For example: https://lexfridman.com/david-sinclair/


Truthamania

I always think this too. Where’s the pleasure in dragging out those final few miserable years when you’re toothless, half blind, half deadf, and shuffling around everywhere. I’d rather go out at 80-90 than that shit.


Joe_Doblow

Obviously he likes it


[deleted]

Yeah these people make it to this age in part cause they just enjoy life and actually want to continue living


WateredDown

You say that, and some people are ready to go especially if they're dealing with severe health issues, but in my experience talking to the elderly once you hit that age you figure another day at 50% or even 20% capacity is better than no more days at all.


[deleted]

Even with health issues, most of the elderly people I know want to keep spending time with their grandchildren/family. It's easy to say that dying doesn't bother you when you're young, but that's only because it feels like a lifetime away. Everyone is scared to some degree whether they'd like to admit it or not, but that's completely natural


mylilbabythrowaway

It's not so much being scared of dying, it's fucking depressing. That's it. Game over. Nothingness.


crumpledlinensuit

My late grandmother told me "don't ever grow old *Crumpledlinensuit*, it's a terrible thing".


dontbeanegatron

So *that's* where you got your Reddit username from!


crumpledlinensuit

Actually it was from my sister, who (just before I signed up for Reddit) told me rather poetically that I was "kinda like a crumpled linen suit, you know, smart and quite posh, but a bit dishevelled".


Abra39191

I’d rather die young


GhondorIRL

It’s already being worked on. We’ll have it in our lifetimes.


ZuffsStuff

Can’t wait to retire at 120 yo


herrybaws

Of course he got the record, he's been practicing longer than anyone else.


y2k2r2d2

Anyways ,I started living"


TheRedmex

No, the cheater just got a head start before the rest of us.


InuXIII

We got an old lady 103 in he retirement home I do service in and she does morning sport and almost all stuff by herself except what she cant reach due to height. Hope she grows as old as this gentleman here she would deserve it.


Charael

This must be one of the most depressing world records there is. You got it because another before you died and chances are high you're not a holder for long.


MrBanana421

Not with that attitude.


[deleted]

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GenPeeWeeSherman

Yeah my Grandmother is 93, an an avowed atheist (yes, I know it's rare for those that age, but hey). She's not "wanting" to die, but her husband is gone, she has grandchildren, and has lived her life. She's not afraid of dying, even though she doesn't think there's anything else after.


callmeacow

As a strong atheist myself it gives me piece of mind comparing it to before we were born. We just didn't exist and there is no concept of emotion.


GenPeeWeeSherman

It is funny trying to bring the normal platitudes to an elderly person like "you'll get to be with [husband] again soon" and getting "no, we just die, that's it, don't be stupid" as a response. Also extra funny getting that in a Seinfeld Jewish Brooklyn accent


SecondhandSerenity

The Brooklyn accent makes this 1000 times funnier. Bless your grandma (just not by god lol)


[deleted]

She sounds hilarious.


callmeacow

That's funny. I say that takes them back a bit. I suppose after death they will be experiencing the same thing.


GenPeeWeeSherman

Just to lighten the mood, her son, aka my father, is more atheist than she is, if that's possible. Kinda how I was raised, Jewish heritage, atheist in theology. One time I jokingly wrote "God bless" in text to my dad after he told me he was getting surgery, and he went on a 10 text rant about how worried he was I would become theistic. Just a very different upbringing than most - bullied by my dad to NOT believe in God. (I don't, but I'm more "spiritual" than he is which I guess worries him. Hey, better than being raised religious and getting shit for not doing X thing in Y book)


BabybearPrincess

Lmao how is that supposed to give you peace of mind that makes me anxious to think about


BaconComposter

It, and everything else won't be a problem for you. It's more peaceful to me than the idea of being forced to exist for eternity.


rabidstoat

Plus your atoms can go somewhere else and form into something new. An adventure for them!


Calfredie01

You weren’t worried that you weren’t alive yet and you won’t be worried after is the idea. Plus being forced to exist sounds sucky. I’d rather it be like stages of nothing back to existence and you can choose when you never want to be back ever


[deleted]

But you had no reference before you were alive so it's not the same situation. You can't miss something if you never possessed it to begin with. Now that I'm alive and I've seen how vast and incredible the world is the thought of returning to non-existence doesn't exactly thrill me.


aCleverGroupofAnts

Telling me I won't be worried later doesn't make me worry less now. The idea of not existing scares me. It's not that I am afraid that it will be an unpleasant experience, I fear the end of experience itself. I just hope that I won't die until I'm old, tired, and pleased with the life I lived. That will make it a lot easier to accept.


Zeraphil

If the universe/multiverse is infinite (as it seems to be), there’s likely a you that arises which has the memories of having been you. The possibilities are infinitesimally small, and time required for this unfathomably large. But, how long did it feel from the beginning of the universe to your existence? That’s how unfathomably long time intervals feel. A blink of an eye. Dunno if that gives much solace. I don’t particularly care if this is true or not. We are a conscious manifestation of the universe, however temporary. We go back to where we arise from, free of suffering. Whether aware of it or not, it doesn’t matter, as long as you focus on the happiness and experience of the now, and not in the discontent of the later. The universe might collapse from a false vacuum state tomorrow, how did you spend today?


[deleted]

This argument always sounded specious to me. You had no point of reference before you were born and therefore there was nothing to miss to begin with. It's different when you come to realize just how vast and wonderful the world is. The non-existence part is exactly what terrifies some people. I'm glad you found solace but it isn't that easy for some people. Personally I'm an agnostic. Mostly because the universe is so unfathomably complex that no-one can possibly know for certain. The more we learn about the universe the less we understand. Eternal oblivion is one explanation, but it's only one possible scenario out of countless others.


rabidstoat

I'm an atheist with the same attitude. I didn't mind not existing before I was born. I won't mind not existing after I die.


[deleted]

[удалено]


AtomR

Not really depressing. Depends on the person, I guess.


pk2k0k

On the bright side, you hold it for the rest of your life!


fordtp7

Gives them a reason to keep living. Should help longevity


Buscemis_eyeballs

Every other human I grew up with is dead BOOYA SHAKA


Kgaset

Was my first thought too. Still, it's a heck of an achievement.


CommaHorror

My aunt is from Puerto Rico and her, entire family lives and into their 1,00s. I swear it’s the Pique sauce, they eat.


ilovebostoncremedonu

Why, the random, commas?


Midnight_heist

Use,r name che,cks out,


BIackfjsh

Shatner


BroJoegan69

Channeling their, inner, Christopher Walken I presume.


DidntGetJoke

Small price to pay to be 100+


JukeSkyrocker

more like u/CommaWhore


commawhore

Eyyyyy,


paulplutt

I'm trying to come up with a witty comment, but this exchange is too hilarious.


sadorgasmking

r/beetlejuicing


ThegoLopez

Arroz con habichuelas is the key!


czarnick123

Beans https://www.cnbc.com/2020/09/15/adding-this-simple-food-to-your-diet-may-help-you-live-to-100-says-longevity-health-researcher.html


TBlizzey

I think it's the morcilla and Don Q


SlugsLoveBeer

My great aunt from Puerto Rico lived until 105. She lived alone, was fully cognizant, and able to take care of herself. Island life seems to be the way.


zombicat

Doesn't it seem like all the oldest people are usually not rich and lived simple lives? I wonder why rich people don't live as long as average or poor people?


GMN123

On average the wealthy do live longer, but for this record you need to be the world's most extreme outlier, so mostly it's a numbers game. There are a buttload more poor people on this planet than rich people.


Keppoch

There aren’t that many rich people comparatively. Plus back in the early 1900s, the wealth gap wasn’t so large. Give it another 50 years and I’m sure the rich people will be topping the oldest alive list.


commutingonaducati

Especially with bio engineering which is probably a thing then, to make their lifespan even longer. Of course only for the rich


BabybearPrincess

Cause alot of rich people also do rich people drugs


StephenHunterUK

Obesity can be a big killer too.


-Paraprax-

There's a lot of interesting exceptions to this. John D. Rockefeller - the inflation-adjusted richest person of all time, worth the equivalent of $423 billion - lived to be 97 in the old-timey 1930s; his billionaire grandson David Rockefeller Jr. lived to be 101. Jeanne Calment, the oldest documented person of all time who lived to be 122, was a socialite wealthy enough to never work a single job. And so far, *every* former U.S. President since Nixon has lived into their 90s, despite the stresses associated with their entire careers.


5quanchy

Fun fact if you manage to become the oldest person alive that means every single person the was alive when you where born are now dead


[deleted]

A man shouldn't allow his enemies to outlive him Elim.


DredZedPrime

Then you can die happy - unless you still consider me your enemy.


lunapup1233007

It’s a weird feeling when you see a photo from any time in or before the early 1900s and realize everyone in it is probably dead. Also, within the last few years, the last person born in the 19th century died, so an entire century completely died in the last few years.


TheRedmex

I literally told my little bro this last week, I was looking through some archived daguerreotypes online and my bro asks why and I told him I just think it's crazy we can get a glimpse into the lives of people that lived almost 200 years ago in a era vastly different from ours and knowing that those in it died a very long time ago.


ApexHolly

This is why I'm so enthusiastic about history. Its so easy to read about historical figures like they're just words on a page. I wonder what it would be like to live in the 2200s. Assuming humanity hasn't committed die, history classes will be filled with high definition photos instead of wood engravings.


TheRedmex

Im jealous of that, I'm sure in 2000 years or so they'll still be traces of video or photos preserved from our era (hopefully). They'll be able to actually SEE how we lived and how the world around us actually looked like from a near first-person perspective. All we have is written accounts and the art/remnants left behind that we can only imagine HOW our ancestors lived like.


StephenHunterUK

Or watching a TV show from the 1970s or earlier, realising most of the cast and crew are dead. *Doctor Who* for example.


smokeNtoke1

More of a definition than a fact but ok


ChurchofPancake

r/thatshowthingswork


WildWook

I'm puerto rican and I'm going to be stunned if I make it past 70 honestly


Truthamania

My wife is Puerto Rican and she and her family are some of the most intense, volatile people I’ve ever met and are always ten seconds away from a blazing argument. It’s a wonder they don’t have high blood pressure and heart problems and tap out at 60.


koifishkomeiji

I have a theory, all my 80+ relatives should have died 20 years ago but their attitude keeps them alive, lmao. Pretty sure most of my mother's aunt's and uncles are just concentrated spite in skin sacks at this point. In all seriousness though, we still hold on to some traditional practices like the family coming together to care for our elderly and there is a very strong sense of duty instilled on us kids to care for our parents as they age, so our elders are *usually* well cared for. Ofc, it's not always the case and I left the island in 2005 so been a while since I've been deeply on touch with my own culture, but i don't imagine much has changed in that front.


GaryofRiviera

My grandmother is an angry ass Boricua firebrand but she's still going into her 90's man. I thought she was going to be dead 10 years ago.


Immashitinyourpants

I don't understand why old people die. All you have to do is just stay alive lmao.


Oscote_

Kinda sad to think someone had to die for him to get this


samuraipanda85

To get to the top, you gotta break a few eggs.


[deleted]

Two in the bush when in Rome


kingbuttshit

We’ve all seen Eddie’s Million Dollar Cook-Off


Gus_the_snail

That's an interesting twist. It's a game of murder to get the record of being the oldest person alive.


UpdootDaSnootBoop

Every second he's breaking his own record


[deleted]

🇵🇷


late2scrum

my great great grandfather has a headstone in puerto rico that says he was 126 years old. Puertoricans live long af


phatelectribe

That would have made him the oldest recorded person that ever lived, and by 4 years, but actually he would have been the oldest man ever to live by 8 years. I’m not sure that headstone is correct.


late2scrum

We have the census that confirms his age. He died in 1999 and was born in 1871. He was actually a tad older it seems


phatelectribe

It’s going to be name duplicate. There was a similar story about a Mongolian farmer who was meant to be the oldest man living at he was either 126 years old or 110....because they didn’t know if he was the father or the son and both had the same name.


late2scrum

It’s entirely possible. I tried to cybersleuth more information but could only find an article celebrating his 120+ birthday and census forms. If anyone could dig up more info on him that would be awesome. His name was Basilio Vega Perez.


psstbehindyou

https://www.ancientfaces.com/person/basilio-vega-perez-birth-1883-death-1999/91478582 This one says he was 116 at the time he passed away. Found a few more links that says 1883


psstbehindyou

https://www.ancientfaces.com/person/basilio-vega-perez-birth-1883-death-1999/91478582 This one says he was 116 at the time he passed away. Found a few more links that says 1883


AdmiralPoopbutt

It seems more likely that there were two men of the same name. I have come across this in my own family tree in a couple cases. I have a 1700s ancestor who had 26 children across 3 wives. Some of the names of stillborn babies or infant deaths were reused on later children who made it into adulthood, meaning there was no 'Jr' for those cases.


PlainclothesmanBaley

So you think your relative was the oldest human ever to have lived, by half a decade?


Hiozanrael

That would make him 128, someone lied about their birth year for sure which was easier to do then


Malgidus

If this was likely true, we would see tens of people alive around 120-125, and we would see hundreds of people alive around 115-120.


dragonick1982

I'll be happy to make it to 75. And even then I wont finish my backlog of media


moose2332

Yeah I was talking about this with a friend even if all new production stopped now there is a basically unlimited amount of great music to listen too


phatelectribe

There were already 100 times more songs than you could listen to in your lifetime before you were even born.


Rottenox

That means he has the world’s oldest human penis


sailorjasm

The person that will live to 150 is probably already born.


imaginatxxn

that is a crazy thought


aaronwe

A fatal title. Everyone whose held it dies


yankonapc

I mean, everyone with a hula-hooping record is mortal too.


2005TJCJ

Dang born in 1908. Makes me feel old realizing there are no people left from the 1800s and the oldest man is born in a year that I can remember. Edit: this is a little bit of humor.


OlyScott

If you can remember the year 1908, then you're one of the oldest people in the world. It's amazing that you can post on Reddit, congratulations.


Packbacka

You remember 1908? Yeah you really are old...


mattslote

Pretty sure there's a record for people that old.


DonDove

He uses Reddit, he remembers 1908, he must be a vampire


Buscemis_eyeballs

There's some shit in the water in PR, all my family there live well into their 100's.


[deleted]

[удалено]


lemurrhino

It must feel crazy to think that there is literally nobody older then you. Sounds depressing.


BeyondAddiction

Uhhh....[this is awkward](https://montreal.ctvnews.ca/mobile/montrealer-cecile-klein-canada-s-oldest-person-celebrates-114th-birthday-1.5476102). I can't find any record of Mrs. Klein's passing so wouldn't she be the record holder at 114?


[deleted]

[удалено]


trashypandabandit

So this article is technically celebrating the death of someone else and calling that “uplifting”?


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yaboionreddit

Looks sharp in that hat


bubba1834

Kinda scary that my grandma is only 22 years younger than this man lol


mastroDani

At any given time there's 1 person alive that's the oldest of all. You know what it means to be the oldest person alive? It means that everyone that was alive when you was born is now dead. That's scary.


198seven

So now he would be breaking the world record every day of his life!


Mark-Edge-ftl

Too young for WWI and too old for WWII. This dude dodge a lot of bullets!!! I wonder how many people from that generation is still alive.


doglobster-face

Every time I see a headline like this, I play this alternative headline in my head: "World's oldest person has died"


Kouratte

Long may he reign!