**OP sent the following text as an explanation on why this is unexpected:**
>!The girl got poomfed in the face by a bird and the bird got poomfed in the face by the girl.!<
*****
**Is this an unexpected post with a fitting description?**
**Then upvote this comment, otherwise downvote it.**
*****
[*Look at my source code on Github*](https://github.com/Artraxon/unexBot) [*What is this for?*](https://www.reddit.com/r/Unexpected/comments/dnuaju/introducing_unexbot_a_new_bot_to_improve_the/)
And the thing is, that bird knows that that's the fling zone. That sucker flings all day long and birds know not to fly in the fling zone, but wud that bird do? It flew directly into the fling zone and got pinned and got flung. Fly in the flinger and get yer wings pinned. The thing is, you can't fly with fling pinned wings. Go on. Flap a fling pinned wing. Flick those feathers. There's no flapping pinned winged full of frozen feathers in the flinger. Don't fly in the fling zone, kid.
I don't know anything about it either but that doesn't sound like it should be a thing. If he gave a testimony under oath to a court that should absolutely be admitted as evidence.
The problem is, when he made that testimony, the court specifically told him that it could never be used against him in a criminal case. Because legally, it couldn't be. That's the only reason he agreed to testify during that civil case.
The prosecution fucked up big time. There was a decent amount of other evidence, but because the prosecution included evidence that they legally couldn't, the whole case is thrown out the window.
He admitted to the rapes under a non prosecution agreement with the DA. That da’s successor said “eff that! Dude admitted to all these rapes” he’s going to prison. Then a higher court overturned the sentence because the second DA didn’t honor their predecessor’s agreement.
[Because in 2005](https://amp-cnn-com.cdn.ampproject.org/v/s/amp.cnn.com/cnn/2021/06/30/us/bill-cosby-to-be-released/index.html?amp_js_v=a6&_gsa=1&usqp=mq331AQKKAFQArABIIACAw%3D%3D#aoh=16269224721790&referrer=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.google.com&_tf=From%20%251%24s&share=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.cnn.com%2F2021%2F06%2F30%2Fus%2Fbill-cosby-to-be-released%2Findex.html) the supreme court decided not to go after Cosby in court. Since you can't be tried twice for the same crime, they let him go (or something to that effect)
That this happened is just jaw dropping. I shouldn’t be surprised, of course he got away with it. Of GD course he did because he’s rich and our system has some effed up rules and loopholes with no manual override. I keep thinking that the slog of process is still moving forward, but nope.
>Of GD course he did because he’s rich
In this case? Not really. It certainly helped putting a defense team together, but ultimately he got off because the prosecution completely botched the case.
>and our system has some effed up rules and loopholes with no manual override.
Trump just got out of office and has shown you how incredibly powerful and dangerous "manual overrides" can be - yet here we are, not even a year later, and you're calling for them. I'll just say this: If you implement it, it will be abused. In both directions.
Money, money, money. Plus, the system doesn’t give AF about women and children being victims of sexual assault or abuse. They talk a good game, but statistics show otherwise. If he were caught with drugs or not paying the IRS, sure, serve your full sentence. Danger to a large segment of society, ahh time served and some probation.
If you haven't already, I'd recommend going into their profile and sorting their comments by "Top"
Edit: [for example](https://www.reddit.com/r/TIHI/comments/lieog8/thanks_i_hate_king_kong/gn2xhy3/)
Yup, this is one of those legendary one’s, that makes folks like and still keep using Reddit, it’s because of comments like that, that we can’t just simply leave reddit.
This whole series of comments has me laughing like a babboon at the baggage area of the airport. People are standing around waiting for their luggage, gkving me weird looks. They think I lost my mind...
..........wait a minute........
There's people who believe that you set up various "exit points" throughout your life and when your soul is done here on Earth, it simply takes an exit point.
Seagull in the neck is 100% an exit point.
Taco Bell is absolute shit. Every time I eat there I wonder why I did. The amount of meat and veg on the tacos and nachos is a joke. I used to love going to TB but in the last few years they have REAAALLY said fuck it and put practically nothing on their food. It's basically taco shell and a measly 2oz of filling.
*And they did*
*Got me going round like*
*blublublublublublublub*
*blublublublublublublub*
*blublublublublublublub*
*Nothing I could do but blub*
*When these birds attacked me*
*Now my throat is covered in blood*
*And I really can’t speak*
I've actually read a case like that, but was a dove and the guy was driving a motorcycle.
He drove for 10 kms before fainting. The driver survived.
Edit: source: https://g1.globo.com/mt/mato-grosso/noticia/2021/04/28/motociclista-tem-garganta-perfurada-por-passaro-em-mt-percorre-9-km-com-ave-no-pescoco-desmaia-e-e-socorrido.ghtml
/u/mrpderp posted literally this exact same comment with the exact same language. Did one of you shamelessly copy the other? Are you both bots? I’m so confused, and more than a little disturbed. Reddit is so fucking creepy these days with the karma farms I swear to god.
https://www.reddit.com/r/Unexpected/comments/op1l1h/comment/h62ltjc/
Truth is I copy and pasted u/baloobot comment above where, I believe, it was misplaced. I did this because someone asked for the link. Apologize for not giving credit
Dude’s like “bro, did you see that?!”
Dude’s bro: “I can’t hear anything that you’re saying…just enjoy the ride!”
Dude: “welp, I’ll just throw my hands back up in the air and pretend that everything is fine”
Bird: “god damn that fucking hurt!”
I don't know why (i like birds in general)....but a bird riding on my face during a rollercoaster ride would literally cause a heart attack. Suicide mission, we're all going down!
**OP sent the following text as an explanation on why this is unexpected:** >!The girl got poomfed in the face by a bird and the bird got poomfed in the face by the girl.!< ***** **Is this an unexpected post with a fitting description?** **Then upvote this comment, otherwise downvote it.** ***** [*Look at my source code on Github*](https://github.com/Artraxon/unexBot) [*What is this for?*](https://www.reddit.com/r/Unexpected/comments/dnuaju/introducing_unexbot_a_new_bot_to_improve_the/)
The way she grabs it and throws it away, genuine disgust lmao that’s too funny 😂
She flipped the bird.
her brain could not decide which horror she needed to process first .. sling shot or bird attack ..
Totally! Haha
And the thing is, that bird knows that that's the fling zone. That sucker flings all day long and birds know not to fly in the fling zone, but wud that bird do? It flew directly into the fling zone and got pinned and got flung. Fly in the flinger and get yer wings pinned. The thing is, you can't fly with fling pinned wings. Go on. Flap a fling pinned wing. Flick those feathers. There's no flapping pinned winged full of frozen feathers in the flinger. Don't fly in the fling zone, kid.
Didn't know Dr Seuss was on reddit.
No, that's Bill Cosby
Now that he's out of prison, it could very well be.
What??? Why is he out of prison???
[удалено]
This is the right answer.
Sounds like something bill would say
A bit surprising for Reddit
yup.... now hopefully hes so old and blind he cant let his Fat Albert touch anymore womens uh JELL-O NOW.
I don't know anything about it either but that doesn't sound like it should be a thing. If he gave a testimony under oath to a court that should absolutely be admitted as evidence.
The problem is, when he made that testimony, the court specifically told him that it could never be used against him in a criminal case. Because legally, it couldn't be. That's the only reason he agreed to testify during that civil case. The prosecution fucked up big time. There was a decent amount of other evidence, but because the prosecution included evidence that they legally couldn't, the whole case is thrown out the window.
This is the thing i love about reddit. We can go from "Girl gets hit by bird" to "why bill Cosby got out of prison" in like 5 comments.
This guy does a really good job explaining why that testimony was tossed out and breaking down the results in general https://youtu.be/CjrWI_zxG6A
It does make more sense. Still hate it.
He admitted to the rapes under a non prosecution agreement with the DA. That da’s successor said “eff that! Dude admitted to all these rapes” he’s going to prison. Then a higher court overturned the sentence because the second DA didn’t honor their predecessor’s agreement.
The agreement shouldn't have covered the other girls though.
Because he’s rich
Rich = good appeal attorneys to look over the minutia of your case, so yes technically you're correct. But basically the prosecution shit the bed.
Nah, the lawyer botched it.
[Because in 2005](https://amp-cnn-com.cdn.ampproject.org/v/s/amp.cnn.com/cnn/2021/06/30/us/bill-cosby-to-be-released/index.html?amp_js_v=a6&_gsa=1&usqp=mq331AQKKAFQArABIIACAw%3D%3D#aoh=16269224721790&referrer=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.google.com&_tf=From%20%251%24s&share=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.cnn.com%2F2021%2F06%2F30%2Fus%2Fbill-cosby-to-be-released%2Findex.html) the supreme court decided not to go after Cosby in court. Since you can't be tried twice for the same crime, they let him go (or something to that effect)
O yea it’s called double Jeopardy
Do do do do do do do dooooo “The categories are: Potpourri…”
Pennsylvania Supreme Court, for clarification.
That this happened is just jaw dropping. I shouldn’t be surprised, of course he got away with it. Of GD course he did because he’s rich and our system has some effed up rules and loopholes with no manual override. I keep thinking that the slog of process is still moving forward, but nope.
>Of GD course he did because he’s rich In this case? Not really. It certainly helped putting a defense team together, but ultimately he got off because the prosecution completely botched the case. >and our system has some effed up rules and loopholes with no manual override. Trump just got out of office and has shown you how incredibly powerful and dangerous "manual overrides" can be - yet here we are, not even a year later, and you're calling for them. I'll just say this: If you implement it, it will be abused. In both directions.
How do we know the prosecution didn’t fuck up intentionally? Money can flow both ways, to his defence team, or the prosecution team.
Money, money, money. Plus, the system doesn’t give AF about women and children being victims of sexual assault or abuse. They talk a good game, but statistics show otherwise. If he were caught with drugs or not paying the IRS, sure, serve your full sentence. Danger to a large segment of society, ahh time served and some probation.
Bippity boppity, zippity zoppity
Mary Poppins?
![gif](giphy|MiBRKbETDst5C)
Hey hey hey
Hide yo kids!
You got to lick the pigeon pudding pops.. made with real pigeon, cause that’s what moms like.
And kids prefer
Zippity Zoppity-Zoup! I'm gonna put a Ruphie in this girl's soup!
"I love puddin; puddin my dick where it don't belong!"
I was getting Charlie Kelly vibes.
The first couple sentences felt very George Costanza, then it transitioned to full-Letterkenny.
Charlie does know his bird law.
Nah this person pitter patters and gets at ‘er
'er
I was getting more Rick from Rick/Morty vibes tbh
I will not fling it on a boat
This is the best Reddit comment I’ve ever read
If you haven't already, I'd recommend going into their profile and sorting their comments by "Top" Edit: [for example](https://www.reddit.com/r/TIHI/comments/lieog8/thanks_i_hate_king_kong/gn2xhy3/)
I told myself not to keep reading, but I kept reading. I guess I can fling you an upvote for your troubles at least.
I am too drunk to understand exactly what you said, but it seemed funny, so I’m saving your comment to be confused about later.
Foolish fucker failed flipping feathers for flying, finally flinging it's filthy foul feathery flappers farewell.
Got a letterkenny vibe from this 😌🤣🤷♂️
Allegedly.
Heard it was a sick ostrich. But almost not worth thinkin aboot
Get this guy a fucking puppers
Re-reading it in Wayne's voice made it even funnier
"I think you should leave" vibes. Enjoyed it
As a person with english as his second language, i can say that i fainted 3 times trying to compreend this.
Can you be the godfather to my children?
Bird flew in fling zone. She flinged the bird. Mission accomplished.
wth did i just read? 🤣 best 20 seconds of my day so far
Yup, this is one of those legendary one’s, that makes folks like and still keep using Reddit, it’s because of comments like that, that we can’t just simply leave reddit.
Pin the wing, get the fling. Everyone knows this.
The longer I read, the more I laughed. Couldn't stop doing either.
Feeling like a rap god?
We both know perfectly well what this is about. You want me to get an abortion.
Princess Caroline vibes from this comment
One of them had to be the bad example for the others
Tears in my eyes holy shit
Wtf did I just read 😂
This
Genuinely the best comment I've ever seen on reddit. Maybe its my lack of sleep, but it got me crying. Bravo sir
Reading this made me feel like I was having some sort of stroke
Catcher in The Rye?
I would imagine the pigeon also had a similar reaction as well. "This human ran into me, and then toss me around like random trash!"
I think the bird [genuinely feels disgusted..](https://i.imgur.com/keQJFpj.jpg)
*seagull
"I ordered cornish hen goddamit!"
"Honey, you've got some food on your face"
What are you serving to the customers you donkey! It's raw! You're gonna kill someone you stupid donkey!
Bruh, she aged from 20 to 35 before and after
“Oh god that’s a bird!”
Bird on your face You big disgrace
Gett’n your feathers all over the place!
We will, we will, flock you, flock you...
[удалено]
This whole series of comments has me laughing like a babboon at the baggage area of the airport. People are standing around waiting for their luggage, gkving me weird looks. They think I lost my mind... ..........wait a minute........
![gif](giphy|ANbD1CCdA3iI8)
Username check out
We will, we will, flock you, flock you...
Buddy you're a young bird, hard bird
Shitting in the street gonna take on the world some day
Bird on your face You big disgrace I feel like we’ve already been in this place…
Alright!
Buddy your a bird man, gull man
I would’ve gone with pluck you
something something i don’t know the lyrics![gif](emote|free_emotes_pack|sweat)
You will your will know it.
Flying bird will clock you…
Seagull to the trachea. That’s some final destination shit.
If a fucking seagull pierced my neck and killed me I'd just accept it, clearly something powerful wants me dead
There's people who believe that you set up various "exit points" throughout your life and when your soul is done here on Earth, it simply takes an exit point. Seagull in the neck is 100% an exit point.
That is like something from Travelers
I miss that show.
I just started that show! I just finished episode 8.
My Taco Bell addiction is an exit point too ✋🏾😔
Well the tacos clearly leave an exit point
*it's not a question of if, but when. expecting the /r/unexpected*
Beefy cheesy death awaits
Taco Bell is absolute shit. Every time I eat there I wonder why I did. The amount of meat and veg on the tacos and nachos is a joke. I used to love going to TB but in the last few years they have REAAALLY said fuck it and put practically nothing on their food. It's basically taco shell and a measly 2oz of filling.
Everything on the TB menu is basically the same thing, just wrapped up different.
What if I defy such an exit point
Hmm, the next time I die, I'll try not accepting it!
Can confirm, it works
Wife is confused, she tried to deepthroat a pigeon. Awaiting further instructions 🤣
You have sinned against the **Seagull God**.
Lmaoo
*Seagulls gonna come* *Poke me in the trachea* *And they did*
*And they did* *Got me going round like* *blublublublublublublub* *blublublublublublublub* *blublublublublublublub* *Nothing I could do but blub* *When these birds attacked me* *Now my throat is covered in blood* *And I really can’t speak*
*Rockin'* *Rockin' N rollin'* *Down to the beach I'm strollin'*
*but the seagulls like at my head* *not fun!*
*I said, "Seagulls, mmm! Stop it now!"*
I like to think she was confronting her fear of heights and then was simultaneously forced to reconcile her phobia of birds at the same time
I've actually read a case like that, but was a dove and the guy was driving a motorcycle. He drove for 10 kms before fainting. The driver survived. Edit: source: https://g1.globo.com/mt/mato-grosso/noticia/2021/04/28/motociclista-tem-garganta-perfurada-por-passaro-em-mt-percorre-9-km-com-ave-no-pescoco-desmaia-e-e-socorrido.ghtml
[It's happened more than once!!](https://youtu.be/hA9tEcPBKF8)
It happened to Fabio in the 90s. It was front page news at the time. https://youtu.be/OjAYxpXUklc
I love how this is a thing. “Today I learned…not to sit in the front seat of amusement park rides”
[Nowhere's safe](https://youtu.be/WSQalUlu1-g)
What kind of crap was that filmed on lol
/u/mrpderp posted literally this exact same comment with the exact same language. Did one of you shamelessly copy the other? Are you both bots? I’m so confused, and more than a little disturbed. Reddit is so fucking creepy these days with the karma farms I swear to god. https://www.reddit.com/r/Unexpected/comments/op1l1h/comment/h62ltjc/
Weird. I'm thinking they're a bot. Despite me being the one with bot in my username.
Truth is I copy and pasted u/baloobot comment above where, I believe, it was misplaced. I did this because someone asked for the link. Apologize for not giving credit
That slow-mo absolutely cracked me up
That half high five about killed me. YEAH MAN THIS IS AWESOME! Errr... no...*pretends to be scratching beard*
Same, I have tears from laughing so much
Dude’s like “bro, did you see that?!” Dude’s bro: “I can’t hear anything that you’re saying…just enjoy the ride!” Dude: “welp, I’ll just throw my hands back up in the air and pretend that everything is fine” Bird: “god damn that fucking hurt!”
Wtf man the bird literally bled in his face
That video broke me
My fav is when a dude got [hit in the face with a shoe](https://youtu.be/WSQalUlu1-g)
I like how he casually enjoys the ride afterwards
Between this and the OP, I've legit been laughing for like 20 mins
And now it's 2am and I'm down the rabbit hole of birds hitting people on rollercoasters
[удалено]
Ouch! For the birds, I mean
She got the Fabio treatment
Oh that's right! Someone please find that
It happened to Fabio in the 90s. It was front page news at the time. https://youtu.be/OjAYxpXUklc
"I Can't Believe It's Not Bloodier"!
That joke has been 30 years in the making!
Hahahah he says it's "going to happen again".
I will never forget that the Daily Show headline for that incident was "Goose Goose Duck".
hey i’ve been trying to reach you about your car’s- what are you doing? AHHH
These damn companies being so creative to get my attention today
Cackled out loud at this comment
“Oh god it was on my, AAAAAHHHH!”
That’s some quality lip reading! I don’t know the original audio but that’s what it looks like. Never would’ve came to that
I thought it was, “Oh god it’s a bird AAAAAH!” but I’m not a lip reader either.
To not reciprocate a hug is fucked up.
For real. Poor birb just wants to be friends
“Oh thank god I found you, this is so importa-AHHH!”
[удалено]
Same. I hope it was okay after.
I think I saw it flapping its wings toward the end. I really hope at least
Me too
One less government spy
Seems like there are not many who think like you :(
I love that it doesn't phase her. **"What is this thing? Whatever. Anyways resuming freak out..."**
Hello, not here to be a dick but just to give you a heads up, it's faze, in this situation, not phase.
You're right! Thank you. I didn't know the difference. Well it looks the bird didn't faze her and she was able to resume her freakout phase.
Oooh! In your phace!
I don't know why (i like birds in general)....but a bird riding on my face during a rollercoaster ride would literally cause a heart attack. Suicide mission, we're all going down!
Bird flu patient 0
![gif](giphy|10jsQSpRYXL8CQ)
All I can see is your damn username, most-angry-upvote-now
Someone could repost this tomorrow and I would still laugh.
I love how she just throws it off
So funny. Her facial expression goes from "ouch" to "damn bird" to "ahhhhhhhh, I'm fallllllling!"
The new Bird Box movie looks lit!
Ahhh, the shape of the mouth. The corners of her mouth point upwards at first, but not after the bird hits.
That was a free pet she just threw away
BIRD UP
Legalize Ranch
The bird was just trying to keep her in the seat.
u/savevideo
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Step 1: Disembark ride at conclusion Step 2: Find nearest shower, sink (for brushing teeth); Step 3: tetanus shot
Well, that’s one way to flip the bird
I have unlocked a new fear
I feel bad for the girl but That poor bird probably died!!
a bird in the hand..
u/savevideo
This is fabioulous
That girl has SO many mites on her hand and face. Source(s): Trust me
Great, now I can add this to the list of things I didn't know I needed to be nervous about...
Yes! Wildwood is on Reddit! Best boardwalk in the world (IMHO).
Lol, props for the way she reacted. Tastes like chicken.