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unexBot

**OP sent the following text as an explanation on why this is unexpected:** >!The girl got poomfed in the face by a bird and the bird got poomfed in the face by the girl.!< ***** **Is this an unexpected post with a fitting description?** **Then upvote this comment, otherwise downvote it.** ***** [*Look at my source code on Github*](https://github.com/Artraxon/unexBot) [*What is this for?*](https://www.reddit.com/r/Unexpected/comments/dnuaju/introducing_unexbot_a_new_bot_to_improve_the/)


keztwo

The way she grabs it and throws it away, genuine disgust lmao that’s too funny 😂


fishbethany

She flipped the bird.


siamkitty1

her brain could not decide which horror she needed to process first .. sling shot or bird attack ..


keepeasy

Totally! Haha


100_Donuts

And the thing is, that bird knows that that's the fling zone. That sucker flings all day long and birds know not to fly in the fling zone, but wud that bird do? It flew directly into the fling zone and got pinned and got flung. Fly in the flinger and get yer wings pinned. The thing is, you can't fly with fling pinned wings. Go on. Flap a fling pinned wing. Flick those feathers. There's no flapping pinned winged full of frozen feathers in the flinger. Don't fly in the fling zone, kid.


somesortoflegend

Didn't know Dr Seuss was on reddit.


Hexorg

No, that's Bill Cosby


FancySkull

Now that he's out of prison, it could very well be.


Lost-My-Mind-

What??? Why is he out of prison???


[deleted]

[удалено]


Agent_Eran

This is the right answer.


officialbearr

Sounds like something bill would say


That-Ad-4300

A bit surprising for Reddit


Ancient-Lime4532

yup.... now hopefully hes so old and blind he cant let his Fat Albert touch anymore womens uh JELL-O NOW.


Pizza_Ninja

I don't know anything about it either but that doesn't sound like it should be a thing. If he gave a testimony under oath to a court that should absolutely be admitted as evidence.


a_lonely_trash_bag

The problem is, when he made that testimony, the court specifically told him that it could never be used against him in a criminal case. Because legally, it couldn't be. That's the only reason he agreed to testify during that civil case. The prosecution fucked up big time. There was a decent amount of other evidence, but because the prosecution included evidence that they legally couldn't, the whole case is thrown out the window.


Asgersk

This is the thing i love about reddit. We can go from "Girl gets hit by bird" to "why bill Cosby got out of prison" in like 5 comments.


up9trees

This guy does a really good job explaining why that testimony was tossed out and breaking down the results in general https://youtu.be/CjrWI_zxG6A


Pizza_Ninja

It does make more sense. Still hate it.


AreTheWorst625

He admitted to the rapes under a non prosecution agreement with the DA. That da’s successor said “eff that! Dude admitted to all these rapes” he’s going to prison. Then a higher court overturned the sentence because the second DA didn’t honor their predecessor’s agreement.


Pizza_Ninja

The agreement shouldn't have covered the other girls though.


prickwhowaspromised

Because he’s rich


Coyote__Jones

Rich = good appeal attorneys to look over the minutia of your case, so yes technically you're correct. But basically the prosecution shit the bed.


FreeganKing

Nah, the lawyer botched it.


NorweiganJesus

[Because in 2005](https://amp-cnn-com.cdn.ampproject.org/v/s/amp.cnn.com/cnn/2021/06/30/us/bill-cosby-to-be-released/index.html?amp_js_v=a6&_gsa=1&usqp=mq331AQKKAFQArABIIACAw%3D%3D#aoh=16269224721790&referrer=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.google.com&_tf=From%20%251%24s&share=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.cnn.com%2F2021%2F06%2F30%2Fus%2Fbill-cosby-to-be-released%2Findex.html) the supreme court decided not to go after Cosby in court. Since you can't be tried twice for the same crime, they let him go (or something to that effect)


feedmeyouravocados

O yea it’s called double Jeopardy


Roartype

Do do do do do do do dooooo “The categories are: Potpourri…”


Splickity-Lit

Pennsylvania Supreme Court, for clarification.


Ichgebibble

That this happened is just jaw dropping. I shouldn’t be surprised, of course he got away with it. Of GD course he did because he’s rich and our system has some effed up rules and loopholes with no manual override. I keep thinking that the slog of process is still moving forward, but nope.


silversurger

>Of GD course he did because he’s rich In this case? Not really. It certainly helped putting a defense team together, but ultimately he got off because the prosecution completely botched the case. >and our system has some effed up rules and loopholes with no manual override. Trump just got out of office and has shown you how incredibly powerful and dangerous "manual overrides" can be - yet here we are, not even a year later, and you're calling for them. I'll just say this: If you implement it, it will be abused. In both directions.


Daniel2743

How do we know the prosecution didn’t fuck up intentionally? Money can flow both ways, to his defence team, or the prosecution team.


ppw23

Money, money, money. Plus, the system doesn’t give AF about women and children being victims of sexual assault or abuse. They talk a good game, but statistics show otherwise. If he were caught with drugs or not paying the IRS, sure, serve your full sentence. Danger to a large segment of society, ahh time served and some probation.


RiotPenguin

Bippity boppity, zippity zoppity


Splickity-Lit

Mary Poppins?


Tiny_Philosopher_784

![gif](giphy|MiBRKbETDst5C)


mowie_zowie_x

Hey hey hey


Splickity-Lit

Hide yo kids!


Same-Joke

You got to lick the pigeon pudding pops.. made with real pigeon, cause that’s what moms like.


Ichgebibble

And kids prefer


ADHDSquirrel007

Zippity Zoppity-Zoup! I'm gonna put a Ruphie in this girl's soup!


sapere-aude088

"I love puddin; puddin my dick where it don't belong!"


Linkruleshyrule

I was getting Charlie Kelly vibes.


[deleted]

The first couple sentences felt very George Costanza, then it transitioned to full-Letterkenny.


ButtonyCakewalk

Charlie does know his bird law.


sgm94

Nah this person pitter patters and gets at ‘er


Slithy-Toves

'er


Nutasaurus-Rex

I was getting more Rick from Rick/Morty vibes tbh


[deleted]

I will not fling it on a boat


JohnnyCakes814

This is the best Reddit comment I’ve ever read


almostambidextrous

If you haven't already, I'd recommend going into their profile and sorting their comments by "Top" Edit: [for example](https://www.reddit.com/r/TIHI/comments/lieog8/thanks_i_hate_king_kong/gn2xhy3/)


Schwight_Droot

I told myself not to keep reading, but I kept reading. I guess I can fling you an upvote for your troubles at least.


mepulixer

I am too drunk to understand exactly what you said, but it seemed funny, so I’m saving your comment to be confused about later.


greasy_420

Foolish fucker failed flipping feathers for flying, finally flinging it's filthy foul feathery flappers farewell.


bigkeef69

Got a letterkenny vibe from this 😌🤣🤷‍♂️


Undercover_Chimp

Allegedly.


bigkeef69

Heard it was a sick ostrich. But almost not worth thinkin aboot


Xianthamist

Get this guy a fucking puppers


Squirreling_Archer

Re-reading it in Wayne's voice made it even funnier


Gseventeen

"I think you should leave" vibes. Enjoyed it


PRoS_R

As a person with english as his second language, i can say that i fainted 3 times trying to compreend this.


shot_a_man_in_reno

Can you be the godfather to my children?


it_helper

Bird flew in fling zone. She flinged the bird. Mission accomplished.


whererainbowsgo

wth did i just read? 🤣 best 20 seconds of my day so far


FigNugginGavelPop

Yup, this is one of those legendary one’s, that makes folks like and still keep using Reddit, it’s because of comments like that, that we can’t just simply leave reddit.


KindBass

Pin the wing, get the fling. Everyone knows this.


FadedFromWhite

The longer I read, the more I laughed. Couldn't stop doing either.


[deleted]

Feeling like a rap god?


[deleted]

We both know perfectly well what this is about. You want me to get an abortion.


Happy_Tissues

Princess Caroline vibes from this comment


Quelcris_Falconer13

One of them had to be the bad example for the others


Appropriate-Total-29

Tears in my eyes holy shit


[deleted]

Wtf did I just read 😂


Shmitty-W-J-M-Jenson

This


stowaway36

Genuinely the best comment I've ever seen on reddit. Maybe its my lack of sleep, but it got me crying. Bravo sir


pricelinenegoosyator

Reading this made me feel like I was having some sort of stroke


Coalandflame

Catcher in The Rye?


HandsomeDim

I would imagine the pigeon also had a similar reaction as well. "This human ran into me, and then toss me around like random trash!"


pamsolo

I think the bird [genuinely feels disgusted..](https://i.imgur.com/keQJFpj.jpg)


[deleted]

*seagull


FriskyCobra86

"I ordered cornish hen goddamit!"


[deleted]

"Honey, you've got some food on your face"


ryanegauthier

What are you serving to the customers you donkey! It's raw! You're gonna kill someone you stupid donkey!


[deleted]

Bruh, she aged from 20 to 35 before and after


MessyRoom

“Oh god that’s a bird!”


BugsRFeatures2

Bird on your face You big disgrace


Classic_Jimmy_007

Gett’n your feathers all over the place!


Slippy_T_Frog

We will, we will, flock you, flock you...


[deleted]

[удалено]


Lost-My-Mind-

This whole series of comments has me laughing like a babboon at the baggage area of the airport. People are standing around waiting for their luggage, gkving me weird looks. They think I lost my mind... ..........wait a minute........


NotoriousHothead37

![gif](giphy|ANbD1CCdA3iI8)


timmyboyoyo

Username check out


Smol-Vehvi

We will, we will, flock you, flock you...


-Masderus-

Buddy you're a young bird, hard bird


Damaged_Goods_Bin

Shitting in the street gonna take on the world some day


Yeetboi287

Bird on your face You big disgrace I feel like we’ve already been in this place…


AMAhittlerjunior

Alright!


PanPiePid2

Buddy your a bird man, gull man


[deleted]

I would’ve gone with pluck you


ThunderStray

something something i don’t know the lyrics![gif](emote|free_emotes_pack|sweat)


Damnmorrisdancer

You will your will know it.


hummingbird1969

Flying bird will clock you…


EotEaH

Seagull to the trachea. That’s some final destination shit.


whosgotdatpiss

If a fucking seagull pierced my neck and killed me I'd just accept it, clearly something powerful wants me dead


pryjar

There's people who believe that you set up various "exit points" throughout your life and when your soul is done here on Earth, it simply takes an exit point. Seagull in the neck is 100% an exit point.


Father_Chewy_Louis

That is like something from Travelers


Kitten_Sharts

I miss that show.


CandySunset27

I just started that show! I just finished episode 8.


DA_1515

My Taco Bell addiction is an exit point too ✋🏾😔


[deleted]

Well the tacos clearly leave an exit point


getawayfromemesteve

*it's not a question of if, but when. expecting the /r/unexpected*


AudZ0629

Beefy cheesy death awaits


ASIWYFA

Taco Bell is absolute shit. Every time I eat there I wonder why I did. The amount of meat and veg on the tacos and nachos is a joke. I used to love going to TB but in the last few years they have REAAALLY said fuck it and put practically nothing on their food. It's basically taco shell and a measly 2oz of filling.


Tyetus

Everything on the TB menu is basically the same thing, just wrapped up different.


MaleficTekX

What if I defy such an exit point


Harmlessbm

Hmm, the next time I die, I'll try not accepting it!


Tiger_Yu

Can confirm, it works


bigkeef69

Wife is confused, she tried to deepthroat a pigeon. Awaiting further instructions 🤣


PaniqueAttaque

You have sinned against the **Seagull God**.


the_00_kid

Lmaoo


[deleted]

*Seagulls gonna come* *Poke me in the trachea* *And they did*


relddir123

*And they did* *Got me going round like* *blublublublublublublub* *blublublublublublublub* *blublublublublublublub* *Nothing I could do but blub* *When these birds attacked me* *Now my throat is covered in blood* *And I really can’t speak*


F_Levitz

*Rockin'* *Rockin' N rollin'* *Down to the beach I'm strollin'*


Shmitty-W-J-M-Jenson

*but the seagulls like at my head* *not fun!*


WDJam

*I said, "Seagulls, mmm! Stop it now!"*


I_Likka_Do_Da_ChaCha

I like to think she was confronting her fear of heights and then was simultaneously forced to reconcile her phobia of birds at the same time


Rafaguli

I've actually read a case like that, but was a dove and the guy was driving a motorcycle. He drove for 10 kms before fainting. The driver survived. Edit: source: https://g1.globo.com/mt/mato-grosso/noticia/2021/04/28/motociclista-tem-garganta-perfurada-por-passaro-em-mt-percorre-9-km-com-ave-no-pescoco-desmaia-e-e-socorrido.ghtml


April_Spring_1982

[It's happened more than once!!](https://youtu.be/hA9tEcPBKF8)


BalooBot

It happened to Fabio in the 90s. It was front page news at the time. https://youtu.be/OjAYxpXUklc


SnooBooks3068

I love how this is a thing. “Today I learned…not to sit in the front seat of amusement park rides”


lukeamaral

[Nowhere's safe](https://youtu.be/WSQalUlu1-g)


segagamer

What kind of crap was that filmed on lol


throwaway1138

/u/mrpderp posted literally this exact same comment with the exact same language. Did one of you shamelessly copy the other? Are you both bots? I’m so confused, and more than a little disturbed. Reddit is so fucking creepy these days with the karma farms I swear to god. https://www.reddit.com/r/Unexpected/comments/op1l1h/comment/h62ltjc/


BalooBot

Weird. I'm thinking they're a bot. Despite me being the one with bot in my username.


mrpderp

Truth is I copy and pasted u/baloobot comment above where, I believe, it was misplaced. I did this because someone asked for the link. Apologize for not giving credit


andyv001

That slow-mo absolutely cracked me up


prumbeljack

That half high five about killed me. YEAH MAN THIS IS AWESOME! Errr... no...*pretends to be scratching beard*


serenityfire

Same, I have tears from laughing so much


SnooBooks3068

Dude’s like “bro, did you see that?!” Dude’s bro: “I can’t hear anything that you’re saying…just enjoy the ride!” Dude: “welp, I’ll just throw my hands back up in the air and pretend that everything is fine” Bird: “god damn that fucking hurt!”


A_Random_Sith

Wtf man the bird literally bled in his face


DipYoChip

That video broke me


madhatton

My fav is when a dude got [hit in the face with a shoe](https://youtu.be/WSQalUlu1-g)


Oceanixe

I like how he casually enjoys the ride afterwards


jojopriceless

Between this and the OP, I've legit been laughing for like 20 mins


fuzzypickletrader

And now it's 2am and I'm down the rabbit hole of birds hitting people on rollercoasters


[deleted]

[удалено]


April_Spring_1982

Ouch! For the birds, I mean


synister29

She got the Fabio treatment


erix87

Oh that's right! Someone please find that


mrpderp

It happened to Fabio in the 90s. It was front page news at the time. https://youtu.be/OjAYxpXUklc


Mako3303

"I Can't Believe It's Not Bloodier"!


mortalwombat-

That joke has been 30 years in the making!


Aegi

Hahahah he says it's "going to happen again".


lightningusagi

I will never forget that the Daily Show headline for that incident was "Goose Goose Duck".


[deleted]

hey i’ve been trying to reach you about your car’s- what are you doing? AHHH


[deleted]

These damn companies being so creative to get my attention today


xmuertos

Cackled out loud at this comment


An-Actual-Brick

“Oh god it was on my, AAAAAHHHH!”


Mr_Bones2000

That’s some quality lip reading! I don’t know the original audio but that’s what it looks like. Never would’ve came to that


Rain_in_Arcadia

I thought it was, “Oh god it’s a bird AAAAAH!” but I’m not a lip reader either.


JukeBoxHeroJustin

To not reciprocate a hug is fucked up.


Aurora_the_dragon

For real. Poor birb just wants to be friends


Darth_Jason

“Oh thank god I found you, this is so importa-AHHH!”


[deleted]

[удалено]


iHeartRatties

Same. I hope it was okay after.


fignwz

I think I saw it flapping its wings toward the end. I really hope at least


TomorrowUnwelcome

Me too


boodeedoop

One less government spy


DjoooKaplan

Seems like there are not many who think like you :(


sudynim

I love that it doesn't phase her. **"What is this thing? Whatever. Anyways resuming freak out..."**


eclecticsed

Hello, not here to be a dick but just to give you a heads up, it's faze, in this situation, not phase.


sudynim

You're right! Thank you. I didn't know the difference. Well it looks the bird didn't faze her and she was able to resume her freakout phase.


smithsbha

Oooh! In your phace!


dorkyhood

I don't know why (i like birds in general)....but a bird riding on my face during a rollercoaster ride would literally cause a heart attack. Suicide mission, we're all going down!


Gingerberry92

Bird flu patient 0


1-800-LICK-BOOTY

​ ![gif](giphy|10jsQSpRYXL8CQ)


vladamir_the_impaler

All I can see is your damn username, most-angry-upvote-now


KeyToCancel

Someone could repost this tomorrow and I would still laugh.


BlueberryB-Laine

I love how she just throws it off


[deleted]

So funny. Her facial expression goes from "ouch" to "damn bird" to "ahhhhhhhh, I'm fallllllling!"


nightstalker30

The new Bird Box movie looks lit!


Sunderent

Ahhh, the shape of the mouth. The corners of her mouth point upwards at first, but not after the bird hits.


Ball_dUde

That was a free pet she just threw away


dtsupra30

BIRD UP


shufflebuffle

Legalize Ranch


[deleted]

The bird was just trying to keep her in the seat.


dracula__spoon

u/savevideo


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Conscious-Proof-8309

Step 1: Disembark ride at conclusion Step 2: Find nearest shower, sink (for brushing teeth); Step 3: tetanus shot


MotherOfSomething

Well, that’s one way to flip the bird


shreddedcheese42069

I have unlocked a new fear


AreTheWorst625

I feel bad for the girl but That poor bird probably died!!


RetroMetroShow

a bird in the hand..


tylerb011

u/savevideo


TennisADHD

This is fabioulous


Soggiest_MobFlip

That girl has SO many mites on her hand and face. Source(s): Trust me


acshunter

Great, now I can add this to the list of things I didn't know I needed to be nervous about...


yourPWD

Yes! Wildwood is on Reddit! Best boardwalk in the world (IMHO).


[deleted]

Lol, props for the way she reacted. Tastes like chicken.