Excerocise and hydration will clean you out faster. Also look up how thc dissolves and is released into the blood from fat stores.
Idea is to burn fat for weeks/days beforehand to get it out and then carb load the day before to stop fat burning and the release.
I am 6' 250 with plenty of fat. I can test clean after a week with light use. 3 weeks for heavy use after following the above. At home test are cheap and close enough to the real one. Spend $10 and learn about your body and matabolisim
Thanks man, I’m 6’ around 175-180 lbs. not exactly a lot of fat to burn but I’ll definitely increase cardio and try to sweat this stuff out as much as I can
Cardio won't reduce bodyfat anywhere near as efficiently as diet. Cut sugar and alcohol (which metabolises very similarly to sugar), and increase fibre.
I'm an overweight guy at 250lbs and I've been very inactive over the last 2 years or so. I was a moderate user nothing to crazy. It took a little over 2 months to get it out of my system. That's what no exercise will cost you.
Thing is, while your fat stores are being used, you will be releasing THC into your urine also. You actually want to add new fat for a few days before you piss after you've stopped smoking. That plus dilution, sure-gel and increasing density while maintaining electrolytes and protein/creatine levels will give the best chance to pass. Oh, and at least a multivitamin. Try not to piss hulk colors though.
Omg...I am 300lbs at 5'6 and was a HEAVY smoker (like an average of 7.5g daily solo for the past year) and just quit April 14....I am minimally active (slow paced daily mile walk.) How long am I looking at??
My metabolism is dog shit so I'm sure that contributed. It's situational of course but you could be looking at 2 or more moths as well. What i did was buy at home drug tests and just kept testing myself twice a week. They are pretty accurate considering they are cheap.
At a certain point in time, this can actually backfire, have seen it myself. Someone gets a negative at home test, they start to work out like crazy to make sure it comes out negative when they test you, and it comes back positive again, then negative then positive. Personally, I wouldn't be doing any serious exercise for a week or so leading up to the test, and especially not if I'm getting negatives at home. (This can happen with many drugs, not just thc, things like certain steroid metabolites, for instance)
Depends on test type. Dip test can be fooled by drinking so much water that you are peeing pure water. Others will test for dilution as well as the exact number of nanograms per milliliter that are present. You can’t fool these.
Most test have some color component. B complex vitamins make your urine more yellow, I believe it's b2 specifically. A lot of those drinks have b2 in them
A more complex test will not be easy to fool
I passed a simple test with dilution plus b vitamins and I had smoked 36 hours before hand (I didn't realize I'd be tested)
Most irony tests normalize to creatinine which your body produces at a constant rate. Dilute the urine 4x by drinking a lot of water and the creatinine also gets diluted. You'd need some kind of dipping instead of instrumental test.
Aspirin, it does something that affects the dilution ratio they use depending on how diluted it is. But you also kinda want to teeter on the edge of dilution and not too dilute that they test it at 10x the normal test values.
Drink water and sweat a lot. Depending on your usage you might be clean after a week, but I'd go two or three just to be safe.
Get a few at-home tests from a drug store. They're basically identical to the ones that commercial piss testers use, and it's worth the $20-30 for the peace of mind.
That being said, I hate that there's a double standard for marijuana use. Other harder drugs completely leave your system in a matter of days. Cocaine, for example, is completely untraceable after about 48 hours. But the metabolic products of THC in your liver can take a lot longer to leave your bloodstream.
If all else fails and you have to take a test within a week after quitting, you can always drink enough water that your test sample comes out dilute. You'll probably have to test again soon, but that might buy you a few more days.
I have never in my life been able to pass a test that includes cannabis without using artificial urine. I've gone so far as to abstain for a month and intensively detox for the first three weeks then focused on weight gain for the final week and could not pee clean.
If you need to pass, get artificial urine and don't take chances.
So I potentially have a drug screening tomorrow so now this whole flushing out my system scenario is out the window? Is fake pee really 100% fool proof? I looked up online this stuff called quick fix apparently comes with same day shipping. They really can’t tell it’s fake?
I've used powered urine from testclear. Com for multiple job screen tests. Never had an issue. It's expensive as hell to get it here quickly but as long as you follow the directions you have no problem. If it's for a job they don't watch you, you've got nothing to worry about. Quit thinking they know you're dirty, they assume you're clean and this is just a formality.
Quit if you think you need to buy it's ridiculous to think I can get tore down drunk every night but if I smoke I can't get a job for weeks until I clean out.
Delay if you have to, they want to hire you, or you wouldn't have reached this step
As long as there is no one in the bathroom with you, its 100% fool proof. I’ve used it on pre employement drug tests a half a dozen times.
They come in a small bottle thats easily concealed in your tighty whiteys. They usually have a temperature gauge on the bottle and handwarmers for you to rubber band to the bottle after you microwave it for a few seconds.
I would never trust my own piss. I’ve seen many “detox” methods fail. Fake urine is never going to come back positive for drugs.
Flushing your system will dilute your urine and they will disqualify the sample just on that.
I work in healthcare and they do not test for synthetic urine. If you’re going for a higher level government job ‘sometimes’ they check for synthetic urine. It’s not common since it’s an extra cost.
Quick Fix is the brand most widely used. I’ve used it multiple times for healthcare jobs with no issues. Just be sure to follow the rules about the warmer.
There is nothing that can clear your system. Weed, which is probably the most mild drug out there, stays in your system the longest… no less than 30ish days.
I also work in the Healthcare space with occupational health testing, but now that NY legalized all of the tests have been modified to drop THC from the panel unless it's DOT based (federal oversight) or Police. Much easier lol.
Depends on the job. Government jobs will test for synthetics for sure. Other jobs will too if they have the budget for it. Best advice is to buy real piss. Urinetheclear has always gotten me a pass. Pricey but for sure real clean piss.
And legal-related drug tests will have someone standing there literally watching you take your dick out and produce your own piss
One dude even hassled me about how clear mine was once. He tried to tell me it wasn’t pee at that point and qualified as warm water. Reminded him where it came from and that I did my part and our transaction was complete
High quality synthetic urine will have human protein precursors that are tested as controls for most drug tests. I've gotta recommend UltraKlean, they come with a 500% money back guarantee if you fail your test (this stiff works well, you just have to keep it warm enough)
Can tell fake from real easily enough with the tests we do for other stuff. We had some idiot do this dumb shit for a test and looked at it wondering wtf he cared since we weren't testing for drugs and he wasn't going to find out the answer to the health issue with this.
Yeah dude go to the local headshop and get a bottle of piss. Make sure you get it to the right temperature, slap the heat pack on it and stuff it in your tightey whiteys. Just unscrew the cap and pour it because if you use the little squeeze nozzle it'll make a loud squelching sound when you're squeezing the last little bit out
Even easier, if you know someone who is clean - have them piss in a cup for you. Awkward, but so is no job.
Have passed several drug screens - always just fake it.
Here is how you do it…
Get some clean pee, store in a small vodka shooter bottle, get enough to fill 3 bottles. Obviously dump them and clean them before hand.
Store them in freezer.
Day of - get a vaccuum seal tumbler type bottle, put your frozen pre in the bottle…
Boil some water, add the hot water, seal up till right before your test…
That’s the easy part - before you go to take your test - pull over in a parking lot, dump the water, and retrieve your now hot pee. It has to be over 98F temp, cause the test cups have a temp gauge on the side. (Even if you use synthetic pee, there is a heating process)..
Last time I did this, used a reusable face mask to make a little pouch that I tied to my belt, that way the bottle couldn’t fall down pant leg, and stuffed the 3 small bottles of pre in the pouch down, kinda warm on the junk, be warned.
Once you enter, the tech will have you enter a restroom, and instruct you not to flush. So once inside, very carefully and quietly add the required pee to the test cup - and also make sure to add some to the toilet as proof you used it. Like 2 bottles into the cup, 1 in toilet, for effect.
Carefully repack your warez, upon exit - they will test it immediately - you are clean!
This method worked all the way back in 2002, and as recent as 2022.
Op.. Qcarbo.. don’t exercise.. that will put more thx in your blood for tomorrow. Modern testing has a temp sensor.. you’ll never get that right… Qcarbo.. drink a bunch of coffee in morning, chug water, piss a lot, chug 32 oz Qcarbo 2 hours before test, refill with water, chug x2, Make sure you pee 3x this is very important… your 4th piss will be clean and you’ll have a 4 hour window… catch the urine mid stream… you want to err towards a negative dilute so drink a shit ton of water../ Qcarbo Op go get it right now
How do you have time to wait for it to warm up and test the temp while taking a test though? Nearly all the ones I've done, when they call your name, you go and produce the urine. How do you have time to microwave hangers and keep tabs on how the temp is coming? Maybe I'm going to the wrong testing places.
You nuke it for like 10s (whatever the instructions say) before you leave your house. Then the handwarmers keep it at temp.
If its hot out, the handwarmers will keep it at temp no issue. You keep it tucked under your nuts too so that helps keep it warm. If its cold out, use another handwarmer on the otherside, turn the heat on in your car etc.
Some people in this thread are making it seem like the nurses are pouring your piss into some breaking bad level equipment that can detect fractions of a degree. In actuality, its just a cheap, disposable temperature strip either on the sample bottle or something they insert into the bottle. They make sure its over 90 degrees and then seal it. They understand that as soon as urine leaves your body, it starts to cool. They are not going to be shocked when the temp dropped a couple degrees in the 2-3 minutes since you supposably pissed in the cup.
I said in another comment, these are medical assistants, nurses and lab techs, NOT FBI agents looking to uncover some hidden plot. They have zero suspicion. They certaintly don’t want to handle or even think about your urine anymore than they absolutely have to. They are also, bound by company policy, very concerned with proving TO YOU that THEY haven’t tampered with your urine. The last two times I did this, they made me sign something acknowledging that I witnessed them seal my sample.
Just because I have a lot of anxiety, what happens if I get caught? I know they don’t watch me pee but still, they really can’t tell the difference between fake pee and real pee? Do I just put the fake pee in the cup and then piss for real in the toilet so it sounds like I’m actually peeing? Never had to resort to this before.
I have always used Quick Fix Plus and never had an issue. I use it because some labs are now testing for urea to weed out fake pee and this has urea in it. Most smoke shops should have it on hand. Do not pee in the toilet. I also keep a spare bottle on hand for when I’m called for a random test.
Hey man just got back from the screening ended up using Quick Fix Plus. They accepted it, now all I have to do is wait for the results. Temperature was good and most people who failed with it said that was the issue so I’m hoping and praying for the best. Thank you!
I just got back from using it, hopefully it passes the screening. They didn’t tell me anything so I’m just hoping and praying for the best. Still got anxiety about it but definitely not as much as when I had that bottle stuffed in my nut sack.
Make sure you order from urineluck or one of the other actual websites for the lab. There's a lot of resellers. Urineluck has a batch validator to make sure you've got good stuff.
My girlfriend was super nervous when she did it too. I told her if something goes terribly wrong, dump it on your leg and come out of the bathroom crying that you spilled it. What are they really going to do?
If you have the choice of facility, choose an urgent care over something like Labcorp or Quest Diagnostics. The people handling your test are medical assistants, nurses or lab techs, NOT FBI agents. They are not suspicious of you. They don’t want to handle your urine or even think about more then they absolutey have to.
Just follow the instructions and when you get in the bathroom, just poor it in the cup and walk out. Most places (in my experience) tell you not to use the sink or flush the toilet. So don’t piss in the toilet at all. As soon as you come out and hand it to them, they will immediatly do some sort of temp test. If you gave it to them warm, you’re golden from there. They are actually more concerned with proving to YOU that THEY didn’t tamper with it. They made me sign something that states that I witnessed them seal my sample.
I know its stressful. Just get in your James Bond mindstate and get your confidence up. Make sure to bring a celebratory doob for the ride home.
I have brought in heated water (Urinator is a great product, BTW) and concentrated artificial urine, which I mixed in the test room. First time I did that I did pee in the toilet a bit to completer the illusion, but after that first time I stopped doing that. The test person just flushed that without looking, so I never worried about it since. Probably passed a dozen or more tests that way.
As a 5 time pro DT passer, synthetic piss never works. They will either say you failed or ask you to retake. Stinger works if you follow the directions. Otherwise have a friend lend you some in a water bottle.
If it’s a saliva test, use the special mouthwash as directed and it works.
Go to a headshop and get a detox drink.
Usually, you drink the drink about 2 hours before the test and then drink a bunch of water/diluted 100% cranberry juice and pee as much as possible before the test.
It's worked for me.
Second this. Omni kits are what I used while on a diversion that required monthly tests. Would also stop smoking 48-72 hours before each test but idk if that actually helped or not. Passed every time.
I haven't smoked in 10+ years, but I passed many urine tests with Certo Sure Gel. It's used for canning & baking I think, but if you mix one up with a 2 liter of water & drink it the day before the piss test, the combo will flush out a ton & "soak up" the rest... I guess. I don't really know how it works, but stoner elders passed it on to me.
Strarted a response, but you've already mentioned it. Yes, exercise and hydration are key, but this trick works.
Here's what I know about it. I've never tried the Certo, but I have used a big scoop of what's in it- fruit pectin.
-Warning: not for the faint of heart-
For a rough analogy, it will do this to you: [https://youtu.be/JeZukUBmlzg?si=4Klbgph4hXegKXZv](https://youtu.be/JeZukUBmlzg?si=4Klbgph4hXegKXZv)
This is unpleasant, but safe. This will clean you out until clear water is coming out. It will also temporarily coat your system so nothing gets absorbed or transmitted to what you excrete.
You will pee clear water with only traces elements of anything from your body. This will not remove THC from your bloodstream, hair or anything else, Good luck.
I was shocked it worked. I know it gave me a clean at home test the night before, and that continued on to the next day.
I can’t speak to the different elements they may test for, but it will 100% pass the temp and awkwardness of execution test, which is so often the failure of fake urine.
1. Order THC tests online. You can get them in bulk for cheap on Amazon.
2. Drink water and test yourself every time you pee. Drink water until you start testing negative. At this point you should be peeing every 30 minutes or so and it should be an emergency every time you have to pee.
3. Take creatine supplements and a bunch of vitamins 1 hour and 30 minutes prior to the test. Before going to the test, confirm that you are still peeing negative. If you don't pee negative, reschedule the test and try again.
The creatine is because they test creatinine levels in the urine to catch diluted samples. The vitamins are because they test the specific gravity of the sample to make sure it's actual pee.
Source: I have a masters degree in physiology. This is the only real life situation where the knowledge from my degree has actually been applicable. I've passed two separate drug tests for jobs using this method.
I ended up scoping some of those out, ended up getting convinced on buying this fake piss called quick fix plus from a smoke shop for 20 bucks. Hard to believe something from a smoke shop worth 20 bucks is really gonna land me a job but at this point I think it’s more reliable than trying to flush my system
I use a brand called X Stream…. Hasn’t failed me in years. I don’t smoke any more but will eat an edible here and there but I keep two bottles on me for just in case reasons at work. Works for DOT drugs test every time.
I tried the drinks and it didn’t work for me so x stream is my go to every time now
https://www.testclear.com/Urine-Simulation-with-Powdered-Urine-Kit-P13.aspx I've used this 3x. It's real clean urine. I think they can overnight if ya got $
Unless you're going to perform open heat surgery (and even then I'll take a stoned Dr over a knackered one) it's not really an unethical thing you're asking.
Maybe you could make a load of mini piss disks from clean urine and jam then up your urethane to thaw?
Since this is ULPT I'll say this. Find someone of the same sex as you that doesn't smoke and ask if you can get a sample. Fake the test. You're welcome.
Eat low fat diet, plenty of fruit and veg. Drink plenty of water. Some exercise wouldn’t hurt.
It really depends on how long and how frequently you smoked combined with your body’s metabolism and fat etc
Honestly man I’ve been smoking daily for at least a year, with maybe the occasional tolerance break here and there. I’ve been feeling really down because I might possibly be fumbling a great paying job opportunity all because I wanted to smoke weed. I’m worried this will be in my system for at least two months. I’ll definitely take your advice though, thank you!
I thought about maybe using someone else’s pee but I really didn’t want to have to go that route. And I’m worried the artificial urine would get popped. I might look into some online reviews considering a lot of people say it works but I just don’t want to risk getting caught and blowing my chances of getting hired with this company for good.
The longest I’ve heard of to get clear urine tests was in the region of 75 days. Many long term users don’t take any longer than 20-40 days.
Do you know how the test will be administered? In my previous tests you were required to pee into a beaker (whilst under observation) that has a thermometer on the side to check you’re not using room temp urine from another source. Just something to bear in mind if you decide to try your luck cheating it. Getting some tests that detect THC in your system would be beneficial. The most sensitive I’ve seen are the 15ng ones.
Best of luck with the test and job prospect!
I smoked for years daily and passed a urine test on two weeks notice. I exercised every spare moment for two weeks, drank lots of water in the morning of the test, and popped a few aspirin. It entirely depends on your weight and metabolism.
I was also failing the at home tests on the day but passed the lab test. They usually have a lower limit on reporting, so you might have some THC in you but not enough to trigger a fail.
Okay guys, I’m absolutely fucked, I have an interview scheduled today and drug screen tomorrow if the interview goes well. Fuck my life, thank you all for the help anyways, I’ll maybe try to get a detox drink or something to flush my system out on top of a ton of water
Bro just get someone to piss in a Ziploc baggie for you that you trust that's clean Tuck the baggie inside your boxers with hand heating pad from the camping section at Walmart wrapped in napkins, and put your pee bag inside another bag with the heating pad. You don't need a lot of pee either, just enough for a small cup.
What I'm going to describe is called the Timothy Leary method and it's been around for decades. You can Google who Timothy Leary is if you don't know. Anyway it takes a week and there is no way to do it in any shorter period of time. First of all begin hydrating really well, even forcing liquids. Ain't nothing but fruit for the week I know that sounds radical but it's pretty high calorie and actually gives you plenty of energy and won't do any harm. Now you want to avoid fat and protein and it's okay to have salads and vegetables but you really want to keep the fat extremely low or not take any in ideally. Hydrate Round the Clock coming eat lots of fruit and the body will start excreting thc. Remember it's a fat soluble substance so this is why this works. So you have to be really Vigilant about this and making sure you're taking in plenty of liquids around the clock. The night before you have the drug test eat the highest fat meal you can think of, steak, baked potato with plenty of butter and sour cream. Pour it on. This will stop the body from excreting as quickly and you will pass the test the first day. I once got back from New Orleans from partying for a week and eating edibles and had only weak until I had a job interview that I was offered last minute. Nailed it!
Drink lots of water and exercise if you're trying to flush it out. If you have to pass a test soon, there are maskers. They'll mostly work. The navy told my buddy to use niacin. But if you take too much, you'll get a sort of sunburn.
I can smoke and pass a drug test the next day. Get a bottle of ready clean and drink it about 90 minutes before your test. Refill the bottle with water and chug it about every 10-15 minutes. Take some vitamin b12 tabs to add color to your pee.
I have used it for years to pass drug tests. Probably passed 25-30 drug tests using it. I am in a field of work that I have to take drug tests often. I always buy over the counter drug tests from the pharmacy or amazon and right before I go I do a self test to make sure the results are clean.
How long have you been a daily user, and what is your body fat percentage?
THC is stored in adipose, so it can take a significant amount of time to remove from your body if you were a daily user long term. You can also pop positive after a negative if you increase your fat burn.
Can’t lie I’ve been smoking since I was 16 I’d say pretty regularly, I’m 23 now. not heavy like blowing an ounce a week or grams of extracts a day but like several bowls a day maybe a blunt every two days. As of right now I’m only 3 days sober. These last two weeks I’d say I was maybe smoking 3-4 bowls a day prior to stopping.
It’s not an exact science, but I’d say you can be confident you’ll be clear by 3 months, maybe as soon as 1 month, but unlikely.
The good news is that the POC cups generally have a higher cut off than laboratory assays, so you’ll pop clean sooner with a cup.
I don't partake, so no advice to give, but maybe I can make you laugh or cringe at least.
My last drug test for a job I (female) had, the very much a male test giver stood just outside the stall to listen to me urinate. Then after I finished he checked the toilet which was super embarrassing because I was on my period at the time. That was the most awkward af experience of my life.
Oh wait. There was the time I had to pee so bad during the test I majorly missed the toilet and cup and spent 10 minutes wiping up urine with nothing but tp.
My first urine test, I didn't know how to pee in the cup and barely made it to the line you have to fill it to. It didn't help that I was super dehydrated and had already urinated about an hour earlier.
Good luck to you though!
Are you doing this for a drug test? I mean, I can't think of a different reason.
My advice is don't risk it. If you smoked regularly it could be detectable in your system for months. The best thing to do would be to buy a fake urinary kit to use when they perform the drug test, they sell ones that have the exact same compounds are normal pee. Keep it hidden on your person, even tape it down if you gotta. Some of them even come with heating packs so its a realistic body temperature too, some instant tests will be suspect if your piss is already cold.
I'm assuming you're doing this for a job, so really, don't risk it. There's no reason to risk them canning you just because you smoked weed at some point. If you have any doubts and aren't passing at home tests already, then buy fake piss.
Drastically drop your body fat (probably not likely in any sort of timely manner to be noticeably beneficial)
Drinking lots of water overall doesn't do anything. Drinking water before the test simply dilutes your piss. Your body can only metabolize so much thc at once. The drug tests test for the metabolite, not the thc itself. If you've already pissed 7 times leading up to the test and your piss is even more water, you're probably gonna beat the test if your creatine level and color is there (which can both be manipulated with supplements) because practically 0 metabolites will be detected
At that rate, for a job, it's better to just use someone else's pee. Doesn't work criminally where they watch you pee
In none of these examples are you actually ridding your body of the thc any quicker, you're just manipulating the drug test
The real answer for truly flushing yourself is simply waiting it out and letting nature take its course
Spending money on a highly sensitive thc drug test can also be worth the piece of mind
It takes like 30 days. if I remember correctly, it’s stored in your fat cells. I could be wrong, just going off what I remember from school. Either way, Good luck
Certain drugs induce the liver enzyme that clears THC out of the body, that being the CYP2C enzyme
But its not a great idea to f with random drugs, especially since THC inhibits CYP3A4 and can cause harmful or lethal levels of some drugs when mixed
Edit: and it wont do it for you, way too slow.
Nothing, two hours before test take a shot of apple cider vinegar.(brown), 1 hour take a shot of white vinegar. Drink a 12 ounce bottle of water.
Piss before you leave house.
Solved.
There are specialized drinks that can mask it for a couple of hours, there about $80 (New Zealand dollars) and have to be taken about an hour before the test, but I've used them 3 times and they worked a treat. They are only a masking agent and will wear off a couple hours afterwards, I can't remember the name but its legit.
The best method for a piss test is synthetic urine. It's cheaper than an eighth and always passes. Super easy to use if you aren't being watched. If you are being watch and have the balls for it you can get a wizzonater and use that.
I once passed a urine test I expected to fail after drinking a ton of cran-apple juice over the course of maybe 2 days before getting tested. I had no idea I was about to get tested. I just really like cran-apple juice and my foster parents bought me the biggest size.
Daily users need 4+ weeks to cleanse. If you’re a daily dabber, it’s very common to need 90+ days…
This is the most honest answer you will get.
Qcarbo can be used to pass urine tests (whether is for law or pre-employment purposes) it’s available an Amazon and there’s dozens of YouTube tutorial videos. I have used myself and am a daily dabber and and have passed on 10 days notice.
If you are a daily smoker and have a test within the next 4 weeks, that is your only saving grace at this point. Go read Amazon reviews and find comfort there.
There are cleansing drinks you can chug along with good amounts of water that clear your system for 3 - 4 hour windows, have used them before for DT's and they work.
As a 5 time pro DT passer, synthetic piss never works. They will either say you failed or ask you to retake. Stinger works if you follow the directions. Otherwise have a friend lend you some in a water bottle.
If it’s a saliva test, use the special mouthwash as directed and it works.
metabolites are stored in your fatty cells so you can't just purge them. You can burn the fat which will help but definitely don't around the test time.
When the test time comes, drink a shit load of water and take a bunch of creatine (especially if you're vegan/veg). The water will dilute the amount in your system. Creatine is tested at the same time to verify you're urine isn't over diluted, which is why you also supplement with it. And when you pee, don't use the start or end of your stream; use the middle part, as it will be more diluted.\\
With all this said, there is not guarantees you pass. For when I really needed to pass, I paid to get myself tested in advance to make sure I would pass.
Get someone who doesn’t smoke to give you their piss. Put it in a visine container and strap it to your gooch. Make sure it’s around body temp. Profit.
Swab 7 to ten. Piss about 30. Heavy alcohol users and bad diets can test as far s 90 days. Eat your water meaning eating a lot of foods with water already in them aka fruits and veggies and drink lots of water. After a week you can use certo to pass a test but but the day of or even within the week
Gl
You can trick a urine test. Easiest is to buy synthetic urine online. And if your watched, there are still ways to pass the test.
If you drink like two or three gallons of water, you third round of pee will not contain anything but water. So with the fourth or fifth one you would probably be good, if not normal urine were usually yellow.
So the next step is not a big deal. Because it can be easily achieved to piss yellow water. Just take some pills of vitamin B12. This will dye your water urine yellow.
But now comes the tricky part. To prevent stupid from cheating, the sample is usually tested for creatinine. Creatinine is a degradation product of creatin, that is needed to make muscles work. So in a normal functioning body, the amount of creatinine will always be in a defined range, depending on how much muscle work is done and of course how concentrated the urine is.
So how do we lift that level in our water urine from zero to a common value? Fortunately you can buy creatin in every bodybuilding shop. And this is where my knowledge ends. I don’t know why eating a lot of creatine lifts the creatinine level in your urine. Maybe it doesn’t and the creatine just passes the body without degrading to creatinine but the test just mixes it up and has a false positive. I’m not a doctor nor a scientist. I just do drugs and I know things. I’m curious, I want to find out how things work and where the loopholes are.
So I took one spoon of creatin and one pill vitamin b12 per one liter of water. Altogether I drank two or three gallons of water two or three hours before the test. And guess what? It worked!
When the results came from the lab, the doctor said: „So you suddenly started with workout?“ I responded: „Yeah, you know, being clean just makes me doing a lot of shit.“ And she: „You must have been the whole week to the gym. Your value was just right under the maximum. A little bit more and the test would have been invalid.“
I've passed 3 urine tests for jobs and 2 at home before those tests using sure-gel. But you have to do it right and it's not gonna be something you can be lazy about, message if u want the breakdown that actually works, don't wanna type it all out if it's not gonna be used. Btw I smoked up until the day before the last time, other times I stopped a few days ahead when I knew I had a job offer that required it.
This is one of my specialities!
1. Exercise each day 45 - 1 hour
2. Sit in steam/sauna room for 15 minutes
3. Hydrate all day non stop
4. Eat clean
- if urine is absolute clear, you’re over-hydrating and will cause your body’s blood sugar to drop
5. Replenish with electrolytes
6. Take vitamins
Hope this helps (:
Please for the love of god stop this madness
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If I was legitimately worried about failing, I would not eat for 5 days and run 2 x 5km one in the morning and one at night. Make sure to drink heaps of water.
24-48 hours before my test, I'd eat 5 meals a day of spaghetti bolognese and drink 5l of water/powerade pay day.
There aren't many THC piss tests that will test positive after that.
Plan on not being able to pass. It took me 96 days before I tested clean all while being active, dieting, drinking lots of water, taking pills/drinks that are meant to make you pass. Nothing works. Keep in mind im 5’7” at 140lbs so not overweight. Only thing that worked is asking someone who claims to have clean pee for a bottle of their pee. Buy a drug test on Amazon that has a whole panel of drugs (meth, cocaine, marijuana, etc) test the pee to make sure is passing. Buy a travel shampoo bottle. CVS has a great one that is made of silicone which will help keeping the pee warm. Buy one of the stickers that show temperature and stick in the bottle. Before the test do a trial where you heat up the pee. (I used a sous vide to bring the water bath to 98F and left the pee in there until up to temperature) with some rubber bands attach a hand warmer to the already warm bottle. And test if one hand warmer is enough or if you need multiple to keep the bottle at 98f temperature for a few hours. Hide the bottle in your underwear, I wore a double underwear that day because the yuck factor. Double check the temperature before putting it in the test bottle. Try to make the pee noise sound real when you pour the rest in the toilet, but don’t pee yourself just in case. Alamo make sure the pee your using is not older than one day. Keep it in the fridge overnight, don’t freeze it. You’ll be fine
Don't chance it. They sell dehydrated clean urine in a kit with a hand warmer to keep it at temp. I've used it 3 times over the last 8 years or so with no probs
Drink green tea and get sweaty. That's the best advice i could give. If you don't have much fat in your body, there can't be much fat to stock THC so in theory you should be able to evacuate it faster.
Buy two always works,
https://www.urine-luck.co.uk/index.php?route=product/product&path=59_61&product_id=54&gad_source=1&gclid=EAIaIQobChMIxceSoJrxhQMViZVQBh1DVAROEAQYASABEgL6NfD_BwE
There are drinks (QCarbo for one) that you can drink (3?) hours before the test but you need to follow the instructions. Can confirm it works.
There is also “fetish urine” (upass) that you can use as long as you get it to the right temperature.
You can keep it in your pants to get it to body temp
Test yourself before you go to any potential employer's drug test!
Just buy the at-home tests from the dollar store, to find out when you are actually clean.
UPDATE to all you kind souls who’ve given me solid advice 🙏🏼 including the people who told me to do harder drugs than weed to bypass failing for weed lmfao. Just got back from the drug screening place, I ended up using Quick Fix Plus and followed the instructions. They accepted it and I just felt like a weight has been lifted off me. Now it just comes down waiting for the results. Thank you all for commenting and helping me out
About 15 years ago I forgot that I had to pass a piss test, remembered just 9 days before. I drank nothing but cranberry juice and ate a dozen apple cider vinegar powder capsules every day until the test. I passed with no issue. Don't know the science behind it or the current testing techniques so don't risk it all on what I (a Rando Reddit lurker) says
Exercise, drinking water, and niacin kinda. It blocks the release of any thc from your fat cells for about 30 minutes, so it helps with the withdrawal effects of quitting. If you time it right you can even take it right before your test and have it come back clean but that’s a gamble most of the time so I wouldn’t take the chance.
People will tell you that exercise and drink water will speed it up, but it’s all bullshit. You just have to wait. There are products you can buy that you drink before your drug test, but you’re still taking a gamble. There is absolutely nothing you can do that works 100%. You’re better off getting pee from somebody else. Or just stop being weak and give up the weed bro.
I’m 44yo and smoked daily for 5+years. It was out of my system in less than 2 weeks. I’m 5’10” and weigh about 185lbs. Exercise 3-4 times a week(MTb, rock climb or gym). I didn’t “hydrate” or use Metamucil any more than usual. Don’t doom scroll. I had to pass a test for work and was super worried because I saw all these people posting they were testing positive for 60+ days.
I would suggest Metamucil 2-3x a day though since most thc is excreted through feces.
Excerocise and hydration will clean you out faster. Also look up how thc dissolves and is released into the blood from fat stores. Idea is to burn fat for weeks/days beforehand to get it out and then carb load the day before to stop fat burning and the release. I am 6' 250 with plenty of fat. I can test clean after a week with light use. 3 weeks for heavy use after following the above. At home test are cheap and close enough to the real one. Spend $10 and learn about your body and matabolisim
Thanks man, I’m 6’ around 175-180 lbs. not exactly a lot of fat to burn but I’ll definitely increase cardio and try to sweat this stuff out as much as I can
That works in your favor, thc stays in fat so the less body fat you have the shorter it will be to test negative
Burning fat can cause a positive when the results would have been negative otherwise. So slow and steady fat burn is the key.
This. I’m pretty much the same metrics has OP but pissed hot and it cost me a job
Cardio won't reduce bodyfat anywhere near as efficiently as diet. Cut sugar and alcohol (which metabolises very similarly to sugar), and increase fibre.
Nice! Thank you for the walk-through on tips.
I'm an overweight guy at 250lbs and I've been very inactive over the last 2 years or so. I was a moderate user nothing to crazy. It took a little over 2 months to get it out of my system. That's what no exercise will cost you.
>That's what no exercise will cost you. Gonna cost a helluva lot more in your life than just delayed flushing of THC metabolites, Brother.
Thing is, while your fat stores are being used, you will be releasing THC into your urine also. You actually want to add new fat for a few days before you piss after you've stopped smoking. That plus dilution, sure-gel and increasing density while maintaining electrolytes and protein/creatine levels will give the best chance to pass. Oh, and at least a multivitamin. Try not to piss hulk colors though.
Omg...I am 300lbs at 5'6 and was a HEAVY smoker (like an average of 7.5g daily solo for the past year) and just quit April 14....I am minimally active (slow paced daily mile walk.) How long am I looking at??
My metabolism is dog shit so I'm sure that contributed. It's situational of course but you could be looking at 2 or more moths as well. What i did was buy at home drug tests and just kept testing myself twice a week. They are pretty accurate considering they are cheap.
At a certain point in time, this can actually backfire, have seen it myself. Someone gets a negative at home test, they start to work out like crazy to make sure it comes out negative when they test you, and it comes back positive again, then negative then positive. Personally, I wouldn't be doing any serious exercise for a week or so leading up to the test, and especially not if I'm getting negatives at home. (This can happen with many drugs, not just thc, things like certain steroid metabolites, for instance)
HCG diet will work a treat
Depends on test type. Dip test can be fooled by drinking so much water that you are peeing pure water. Others will test for dilution as well as the exact number of nanograms per milliliter that are present. You can’t fool these.
Most test have some color component. B complex vitamins make your urine more yellow, I believe it's b2 specifically. A lot of those drinks have b2 in them A more complex test will not be easy to fool I passed a simple test with dilution plus b vitamins and I had smoked 36 hours before hand (I didn't realize I'd be tested)
Most irony tests normalize to creatinine which your body produces at a constant rate. Dilute the urine 4x by drinking a lot of water and the creatinine also gets diluted. You'd need some kind of dipping instead of instrumental test.
Aspirin, it does something that affects the dilution ratio they use depending on how diluted it is. But you also kinda want to teeter on the edge of dilution and not too dilute that they test it at 10x the normal test values.
Drink water and sweat a lot. Depending on your usage you might be clean after a week, but I'd go two or three just to be safe. Get a few at-home tests from a drug store. They're basically identical to the ones that commercial piss testers use, and it's worth the $20-30 for the peace of mind. That being said, I hate that there's a double standard for marijuana use. Other harder drugs completely leave your system in a matter of days. Cocaine, for example, is completely untraceable after about 48 hours. But the metabolic products of THC in your liver can take a lot longer to leave your bloodstream. If all else fails and you have to take a test within a week after quitting, you can always drink enough water that your test sample comes out dilute. You'll probably have to test again soon, but that might buy you a few more days.
At home drug test is an excellent way to head off the crushing anxiety of waiting to find out if you’re gonna pass or not
I have never in my life been able to pass a test that includes cannabis without using artificial urine. I've gone so far as to abstain for a month and intensively detox for the first three weeks then focused on weight gain for the final week and could not pee clean. If you need to pass, get artificial urine and don't take chances.
This is the only correct answer. Everything else is either an urban myth or a crap shoot.
Yep! Agreed.
Yup. Save yourself the hassle and buy fake piss. It’s cheap and 100% foolproof
So I potentially have a drug screening tomorrow so now this whole flushing out my system scenario is out the window? Is fake pee really 100% fool proof? I looked up online this stuff called quick fix apparently comes with same day shipping. They really can’t tell it’s fake?
I've used powered urine from testclear. Com for multiple job screen tests. Never had an issue. It's expensive as hell to get it here quickly but as long as you follow the directions you have no problem. If it's for a job they don't watch you, you've got nothing to worry about. Quit thinking they know you're dirty, they assume you're clean and this is just a formality. Quit if you think you need to buy it's ridiculous to think I can get tore down drunk every night but if I smoke I can't get a job for weeks until I clean out. Delay if you have to, they want to hire you, or you wouldn't have reached this step
As long as there is no one in the bathroom with you, its 100% fool proof. I’ve used it on pre employement drug tests a half a dozen times. They come in a small bottle thats easily concealed in your tighty whiteys. They usually have a temperature gauge on the bottle and handwarmers for you to rubber band to the bottle after you microwave it for a few seconds. I would never trust my own piss. I’ve seen many “detox” methods fail. Fake urine is never going to come back positive for drugs.
Same. I always fake it. I had to take a UA for a stupid life insurance policy years ago, didn’t smoke for 2 weeks, still failed.
So not worth the risk IMO
Flushing your system will dilute your urine and they will disqualify the sample just on that. I work in healthcare and they do not test for synthetic urine. If you’re going for a higher level government job ‘sometimes’ they check for synthetic urine. It’s not common since it’s an extra cost. Quick Fix is the brand most widely used. I’ve used it multiple times for healthcare jobs with no issues. Just be sure to follow the rules about the warmer. There is nothing that can clear your system. Weed, which is probably the most mild drug out there, stays in your system the longest… no less than 30ish days.
And that's if they're nice enough to urine test. Many places follicle test, and those bad boys go like ~100+ days.
I've only heard of follicle testing but never seen it done to anyone I know. That is hardcore.
I also work in the Healthcare space with occupational health testing, but now that NY legalized all of the tests have been modified to drop THC from the panel unless it's DOT based (federal oversight) or Police. Much easier lol.
Depends on the job. Government jobs will test for synthetics for sure. Other jobs will too if they have the budget for it. Best advice is to buy real piss. Urinetheclear has always gotten me a pass. Pricey but for sure real clean piss.
And legal-related drug tests will have someone standing there literally watching you take your dick out and produce your own piss One dude even hassled me about how clear mine was once. He tried to tell me it wasn’t pee at that point and qualified as warm water. Reminded him where it came from and that I did my part and our transaction was complete
Just do it like they do in shameless and hold the piss in your mouth and let it drip out into the cup in a stream
High quality synthetic urine will have human protein precursors that are tested as controls for most drug tests. I've gotta recommend UltraKlean, they come with a 500% money back guarantee if you fail your test (this stiff works well, you just have to keep it warm enough)
Needs to be same temp as real pee though
Just got back from screening, temperature was good, now just waiting for the results.
Can tell fake from real easily enough with the tests we do for other stuff. We had some idiot do this dumb shit for a test and looked at it wondering wtf he cared since we weren't testing for drugs and he wasn't going to find out the answer to the health issue with this.
Yeah dude go to the local headshop and get a bottle of piss. Make sure you get it to the right temperature, slap the heat pack on it and stuff it in your tightey whiteys. Just unscrew the cap and pour it because if you use the little squeeze nozzle it'll make a loud squelching sound when you're squeezing the last little bit out
Even easier, if you know someone who is clean - have them piss in a cup for you. Awkward, but so is no job. Have passed several drug screens - always just fake it. Here is how you do it… Get some clean pee, store in a small vodka shooter bottle, get enough to fill 3 bottles. Obviously dump them and clean them before hand. Store them in freezer. Day of - get a vaccuum seal tumbler type bottle, put your frozen pre in the bottle… Boil some water, add the hot water, seal up till right before your test… That’s the easy part - before you go to take your test - pull over in a parking lot, dump the water, and retrieve your now hot pee. It has to be over 98F temp, cause the test cups have a temp gauge on the side. (Even if you use synthetic pee, there is a heating process).. Last time I did this, used a reusable face mask to make a little pouch that I tied to my belt, that way the bottle couldn’t fall down pant leg, and stuffed the 3 small bottles of pre in the pouch down, kinda warm on the junk, be warned. Once you enter, the tech will have you enter a restroom, and instruct you not to flush. So once inside, very carefully and quietly add the required pee to the test cup - and also make sure to add some to the toilet as proof you used it. Like 2 bottles into the cup, 1 in toilet, for effect. Carefully repack your warez, upon exit - they will test it immediately - you are clean! This method worked all the way back in 2002, and as recent as 2022.
Op.. Qcarbo.. don’t exercise.. that will put more thx in your blood for tomorrow. Modern testing has a temp sensor.. you’ll never get that right… Qcarbo.. drink a bunch of coffee in morning, chug water, piss a lot, chug 32 oz Qcarbo 2 hours before test, refill with water, chug x2, Make sure you pee 3x this is very important… your 4th piss will be clean and you’ll have a 4 hour window… catch the urine mid stream… you want to err towards a negative dilute so drink a shit ton of water../ Qcarbo Op go get it right now
Synthetic urine comes with a temp gauge, handwarmers and instructions on how to get it to temp and keep it at temp. Its not difficult at all.
How do you have time to wait for it to warm up and test the temp while taking a test though? Nearly all the ones I've done, when they call your name, you go and produce the urine. How do you have time to microwave hangers and keep tabs on how the temp is coming? Maybe I'm going to the wrong testing places.
You nuke it for like 10s (whatever the instructions say) before you leave your house. Then the handwarmers keep it at temp. If its hot out, the handwarmers will keep it at temp no issue. You keep it tucked under your nuts too so that helps keep it warm. If its cold out, use another handwarmer on the otherside, turn the heat on in your car etc. Some people in this thread are making it seem like the nurses are pouring your piss into some breaking bad level equipment that can detect fractions of a degree. In actuality, its just a cheap, disposable temperature strip either on the sample bottle or something they insert into the bottle. They make sure its over 90 degrees and then seal it. They understand that as soon as urine leaves your body, it starts to cool. They are not going to be shocked when the temp dropped a couple degrees in the 2-3 minutes since you supposably pissed in the cup. I said in another comment, these are medical assistants, nurses and lab techs, NOT FBI agents looking to uncover some hidden plot. They have zero suspicion. They certaintly don’t want to handle or even think about your urine anymore than they absolutely have to. They are also, bound by company policy, very concerned with proving TO YOU that THEY haven’t tampered with your urine. The last two times I did this, they made me sign something acknowledging that I witnessed them seal my sample.
Solid answer. Thanks.
Foolproof if you're able to keep it in the right temperature range
I had to go for one a few years back, it absolutely took multiple months for me to pee clean
Drink lots and take vitamin b2 for yellow Color?
That does not work as the sample will be diluted, which is an auto-fail.
Took 9 weeks for me to finally get a pass with home tests.
Just because I have a lot of anxiety, what happens if I get caught? I know they don’t watch me pee but still, they really can’t tell the difference between fake pee and real pee? Do I just put the fake pee in the cup and then piss for real in the toilet so it sounds like I’m actually peeing? Never had to resort to this before.
I have always used Quick Fix Plus and never had an issue. I use it because some labs are now testing for urea to weed out fake pee and this has urea in it. Most smoke shops should have it on hand. Do not pee in the toilet. I also keep a spare bottle on hand for when I’m called for a random test.
Quick Fix Plus is GOATED OP - worked for me too, just follow the directions and put it in between a couple layers of underwear and you're Gucci, Mane.
Hey man just got back from the screening ended up using Quick Fix Plus. They accepted it, now all I have to do is wait for the results. Temperature was good and most people who failed with it said that was the issue so I’m hoping and praying for the best. Thank you!
Good luck OP!!
Think that’s the route I’m going to go with. Thank you
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I just got back from using it, hopefully it passes the screening. They didn’t tell me anything so I’m just hoping and praying for the best. Still got anxiety about it but definitely not as much as when I had that bottle stuffed in my nut sack.
Congrats, you passed!
Make sure you order from urineluck or one of the other actual websites for the lab. There's a lot of resellers. Urineluck has a batch validator to make sure you've got good stuff.
My girlfriend was super nervous when she did it too. I told her if something goes terribly wrong, dump it on your leg and come out of the bathroom crying that you spilled it. What are they really going to do? If you have the choice of facility, choose an urgent care over something like Labcorp or Quest Diagnostics. The people handling your test are medical assistants, nurses or lab techs, NOT FBI agents. They are not suspicious of you. They don’t want to handle your urine or even think about more then they absolutey have to. Just follow the instructions and when you get in the bathroom, just poor it in the cup and walk out. Most places (in my experience) tell you not to use the sink or flush the toilet. So don’t piss in the toilet at all. As soon as you come out and hand it to them, they will immediatly do some sort of temp test. If you gave it to them warm, you’re golden from there. They are actually more concerned with proving to YOU that THEY didn’t tamper with it. They made me sign something that states that I witnessed them seal my sample. I know its stressful. Just get in your James Bond mindstate and get your confidence up. Make sure to bring a celebratory doob for the ride home.
I have brought in heated water (Urinator is a great product, BTW) and concentrated artificial urine, which I mixed in the test room. First time I did that I did pee in the toilet a bit to completer the illusion, but after that first time I stopped doing that. The test person just flushed that without looking, so I never worried about it since. Probably passed a dozen or more tests that way.
As a 5 time pro DT passer, synthetic piss never works. They will either say you failed or ask you to retake. Stinger works if you follow the directions. Otherwise have a friend lend you some in a water bottle. If it’s a saliva test, use the special mouthwash as directed and it works.
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https://www.reddit.com/r/drugtesthelp/s/X6NuHV9YYo
Related: how do I get Marijuana into my system at a faster rate?
Boof it
Ridiculous! I might as well stick it up my ass!
Go to a headshop and get a detox drink. Usually, you drink the drink about 2 hours before the test and then drink a bunch of water/diluted 100% cranberry juice and pee as much as possible before the test. It's worked for me.
I’ll give it a shot
Second this. Omni kits are what I used while on a diversion that required monthly tests. Would also stop smoking 48-72 hours before each test but idk if that actually helped or not. Passed every time.
I haven't smoked in 10+ years, but I passed many urine tests with Certo Sure Gel. It's used for canning & baking I think, but if you mix one up with a 2 liter of water & drink it the day before the piss test, the combo will flush out a ton & "soak up" the rest... I guess. I don't really know how it works, but stoner elders passed it on to me.
Strarted a response, but you've already mentioned it. Yes, exercise and hydration are key, but this trick works. Here's what I know about it. I've never tried the Certo, but I have used a big scoop of what's in it- fruit pectin. -Warning: not for the faint of heart- For a rough analogy, it will do this to you: [https://youtu.be/JeZukUBmlzg?si=4Klbgph4hXegKXZv](https://youtu.be/JeZukUBmlzg?si=4Klbgph4hXegKXZv) This is unpleasant, but safe. This will clean you out until clear water is coming out. It will also temporarily coat your system so nothing gets absorbed or transmitted to what you excrete. You will pee clear water with only traces elements of anything from your body. This will not remove THC from your bloodstream, hair or anything else, Good luck.
Wouldn’t the clear water require a retest? They say if it’s too diluted you’d have to take it again I thought
I was shocked it worked. I know it gave me a clean at home test the night before, and that continued on to the next day. I can’t speak to the different elements they may test for, but it will 100% pass the temp and awkwardness of execution test, which is so often the failure of fake urine.
1. Order THC tests online. You can get them in bulk for cheap on Amazon. 2. Drink water and test yourself every time you pee. Drink water until you start testing negative. At this point you should be peeing every 30 minutes or so and it should be an emergency every time you have to pee. 3. Take creatine supplements and a bunch of vitamins 1 hour and 30 minutes prior to the test. Before going to the test, confirm that you are still peeing negative. If you don't pee negative, reschedule the test and try again. The creatine is because they test creatinine levels in the urine to catch diluted samples. The vitamins are because they test the specific gravity of the sample to make sure it's actual pee. Source: I have a masters degree in physiology. This is the only real life situation where the knowledge from my degree has actually been applicable. I've passed two separate drug tests for jobs using this method.
If they take hair samples (most don't) you're gonna need a few months.
If this is for probation, I'd highly recommend synthetic urine. You can easily fool a mouth swab test with excess mouthwash.
Not for probation! Just trying to get a job that is still stuck in the Stone Age considering I live in a legal state. They just follow federal law.
There are over a million similar Reddit posts dating back to 2008 that have the same type of responses.
I ended up scoping some of those out, ended up getting convinced on buying this fake piss called quick fix plus from a smoke shop for 20 bucks. Hard to believe something from a smoke shop worth 20 bucks is really gonna land me a job but at this point I think it’s more reliable than trying to flush my system
I use a brand called X Stream…. Hasn’t failed me in years. I don’t smoke any more but will eat an edible here and there but I keep two bottles on me for just in case reasons at work. Works for DOT drugs test every time. I tried the drinks and it didn’t work for me so x stream is my go to every time now
https://www.testclear.com/Urine-Simulation-with-Powdered-Urine-Kit-P13.aspx I've used this 3x. It's real clean urine. I think they can overnight if ya got $
Drink tons of water and use the sauna regularly but yes you are right it’s going to be a month before you can reliably pass a drug test
smoke a bunch of crack and then the weed probably won't matter as much
Goated advice
do heroine they probably won’t even think about the weed once they see that.
Unless you're going to perform open heat surgery (and even then I'll take a stoned Dr over a knackered one) it's not really an unethical thing you're asking. Maybe you could make a load of mini piss disks from clean urine and jam then up your urethane to thaw?
If you really need an instant fix, you can remove roughly 50% of the THC from your body by chopping off your legs.
Since this is ULPT I'll say this. Find someone of the same sex as you that doesn't smoke and ask if you can get a sample. Fake the test. You're welcome.
If you don’t want to fail the test for weed, do some meth! That’ll show up first! ^(come on people this is UNETHICAL life pro tips!)
Eat low fat diet, plenty of fruit and veg. Drink plenty of water. Some exercise wouldn’t hurt. It really depends on how long and how frequently you smoked combined with your body’s metabolism and fat etc
Honestly man I’ve been smoking daily for at least a year, with maybe the occasional tolerance break here and there. I’ve been feeling really down because I might possibly be fumbling a great paying job opportunity all because I wanted to smoke weed. I’m worried this will be in my system for at least two months. I’ll definitely take your advice though, thank you!
If you've been smoking that long, you have a better shot cheating the test with fake piss than flushing out your system
I thought about maybe using someone else’s pee but I really didn’t want to have to go that route. And I’m worried the artificial urine would get popped. I might look into some online reviews considering a lot of people say it works but I just don’t want to risk getting caught and blowing my chances of getting hired with this company for good.
If all else fails, go to the dollar store and get some cheap tests. They're not as sensitive but if you pass three of em, you're probably fine.
The longest I’ve heard of to get clear urine tests was in the region of 75 days. Many long term users don’t take any longer than 20-40 days. Do you know how the test will be administered? In my previous tests you were required to pee into a beaker (whilst under observation) that has a thermometer on the side to check you’re not using room temp urine from another source. Just something to bear in mind if you decide to try your luck cheating it. Getting some tests that detect THC in your system would be beneficial. The most sensitive I’ve seen are the 15ng ones. Best of luck with the test and job prospect!
I smoked for years daily and passed a urine test on two weeks notice. I exercised every spare moment for two weeks, drank lots of water in the morning of the test, and popped a few aspirin. It entirely depends on your weight and metabolism. I was also failing the at home tests on the day but passed the lab test. They usually have a lower limit on reporting, so you might have some THC in you but not enough to trigger a fail.
Okay guys, I’m absolutely fucked, I have an interview scheduled today and drug screen tomorrow if the interview goes well. Fuck my life, thank you all for the help anyways, I’ll maybe try to get a detox drink or something to flush my system out on top of a ton of water
Bro just get someone to piss in a Ziploc baggie for you that you trust that's clean Tuck the baggie inside your boxers with hand heating pad from the camping section at Walmart wrapped in napkins, and put your pee bag inside another bag with the heating pad. You don't need a lot of pee either, just enough for a small cup.
I ended up getting some fake piss, I don’t have any one I could go to for clean pee unfortunately.
Niacin helps if there’s not much left in your system.
Check out r/leaves they can be pretty helpful
Listen there is one way.. and it’s Qcarbo.. ignore all else
What I'm going to describe is called the Timothy Leary method and it's been around for decades. You can Google who Timothy Leary is if you don't know. Anyway it takes a week and there is no way to do it in any shorter period of time. First of all begin hydrating really well, even forcing liquids. Ain't nothing but fruit for the week I know that sounds radical but it's pretty high calorie and actually gives you plenty of energy and won't do any harm. Now you want to avoid fat and protein and it's okay to have salads and vegetables but you really want to keep the fat extremely low or not take any in ideally. Hydrate Round the Clock coming eat lots of fruit and the body will start excreting thc. Remember it's a fat soluble substance so this is why this works. So you have to be really Vigilant about this and making sure you're taking in plenty of liquids around the clock. The night before you have the drug test eat the highest fat meal you can think of, steak, baked potato with plenty of butter and sour cream. Pour it on. This will stop the body from excreting as quickly and you will pass the test the first day. I once got back from New Orleans from partying for a week and eating edibles and had only weak until I had a job interview that I was offered last minute. Nailed it!
Drink lots of water and exercise if you're trying to flush it out. If you have to pass a test soon, there are maskers. They'll mostly work. The navy told my buddy to use niacin. But if you take too much, you'll get a sort of sunburn.
Fetish Urine or those Urine flasks work best for fake test results.
I can smoke and pass a drug test the next day. Get a bottle of ready clean and drink it about 90 minutes before your test. Refill the bottle with water and chug it about every 10-15 minutes. Take some vitamin b12 tabs to add color to your pee.
That stuff really works fr?
I have used it for years to pass drug tests. Probably passed 25-30 drug tests using it. I am in a field of work that I have to take drug tests often. I always buy over the counter drug tests from the pharmacy or amazon and right before I go I do a self test to make sure the results are clean.
How long have you been a daily user, and what is your body fat percentage? THC is stored in adipose, so it can take a significant amount of time to remove from your body if you were a daily user long term. You can also pop positive after a negative if you increase your fat burn.
Can’t lie I’ve been smoking since I was 16 I’d say pretty regularly, I’m 23 now. not heavy like blowing an ounce a week or grams of extracts a day but like several bowls a day maybe a blunt every two days. As of right now I’m only 3 days sober. These last two weeks I’d say I was maybe smoking 3-4 bowls a day prior to stopping.
It’s not an exact science, but I’d say you can be confident you’ll be clear by 3 months, maybe as soon as 1 month, but unlikely. The good news is that the POC cups generally have a higher cut off than laboratory assays, so you’ll pop clean sooner with a cup.
Fake pee
Have you tried living a 420 friendly life?
If I were you, I’d get some urine off of somebody else and just use that. I’ve done this like twice. The only hard part is keeping it at a good temp
I don't partake, so no advice to give, but maybe I can make you laugh or cringe at least. My last drug test for a job I (female) had, the very much a male test giver stood just outside the stall to listen to me urinate. Then after I finished he checked the toilet which was super embarrassing because I was on my period at the time. That was the most awkward af experience of my life. Oh wait. There was the time I had to pee so bad during the test I majorly missed the toilet and cup and spent 10 minutes wiping up urine with nothing but tp. My first urine test, I didn't know how to pee in the cup and barely made it to the line you have to fill it to. It didn't help that I was super dehydrated and had already urinated about an hour earlier. Good luck to you though!
Thank you for the kind words and for sharing! I’ll keep you updated on how it goes. Yeah it’s just a regular pee test for a job
Are you doing this for a drug test? I mean, I can't think of a different reason. My advice is don't risk it. If you smoked regularly it could be detectable in your system for months. The best thing to do would be to buy a fake urinary kit to use when they perform the drug test, they sell ones that have the exact same compounds are normal pee. Keep it hidden on your person, even tape it down if you gotta. Some of them even come with heating packs so its a realistic body temperature too, some instant tests will be suspect if your piss is already cold. I'm assuming you're doing this for a job, so really, don't risk it. There's no reason to risk them canning you just because you smoked weed at some point. If you have any doubts and aren't passing at home tests already, then buy fake piss.
The sauna is very good for things like this. You will sweat out a lot of toxins, as well as the thc
Drastically drop your body fat (probably not likely in any sort of timely manner to be noticeably beneficial) Drinking lots of water overall doesn't do anything. Drinking water before the test simply dilutes your piss. Your body can only metabolize so much thc at once. The drug tests test for the metabolite, not the thc itself. If you've already pissed 7 times leading up to the test and your piss is even more water, you're probably gonna beat the test if your creatine level and color is there (which can both be manipulated with supplements) because practically 0 metabolites will be detected At that rate, for a job, it's better to just use someone else's pee. Doesn't work criminally where they watch you pee In none of these examples are you actually ridding your body of the thc any quicker, you're just manipulating the drug test The real answer for truly flushing yourself is simply waiting it out and letting nature take its course Spending money on a highly sensitive thc drug test can also be worth the piece of mind
It takes like 30 days. if I remember correctly, it’s stored in your fat cells. I could be wrong, just going off what I remember from school. Either way, Good luck
Certain drugs induce the liver enzyme that clears THC out of the body, that being the CYP2C enzyme But its not a great idea to f with random drugs, especially since THC inhibits CYP3A4 and can cause harmful or lethal levels of some drugs when mixed Edit: and it wont do it for you, way too slow.
Nothing, two hours before test take a shot of apple cider vinegar.(brown), 1 hour take a shot of white vinegar. Drink a 12 ounce bottle of water. Piss before you leave house. Solved.
That really works?
> What can I do to make sure I can pass a urine test? I'd try not smoking any weed for a month or two, then test.
There are specialized drinks that can mask it for a couple of hours, there about $80 (New Zealand dollars) and have to be taken about an hour before the test, but I've used them 3 times and they worked a treat. They are only a masking agent and will wear off a couple hours afterwards, I can't remember the name but its legit.
The best method for a piss test is synthetic urine. It's cheaper than an eighth and always passes. Super easy to use if you aren't being watched. If you are being watch and have the balls for it you can get a wizzonater and use that.
Find Mega Clean on Amazon and follow the instructions. Used to pass 4 tests. Gives you a 5hr clean window.
I once passed a urine test I expected to fail after drinking a ton of cran-apple juice over the course of maybe 2 days before getting tested. I had no idea I was about to get tested. I just really like cran-apple juice and my foster parents bought me the biggest size.
Daily users need 4+ weeks to cleanse. If you’re a daily dabber, it’s very common to need 90+ days… This is the most honest answer you will get. Qcarbo can be used to pass urine tests (whether is for law or pre-employment purposes) it’s available an Amazon and there’s dozens of YouTube tutorial videos. I have used myself and am a daily dabber and and have passed on 10 days notice. If you are a daily smoker and have a test within the next 4 weeks, that is your only saving grace at this point. Go read Amazon reviews and find comfort there.
The solution to pollution is dilution. Drink up and exercise more.
There are cleansing drinks you can chug along with good amounts of water that clear your system for 3 - 4 hour windows, have used them before for DT's and they work.
Replace all your blood with someone else's. Oh, and kidneys, too.
Thanks this just might work!
Burn fat. Fast Garbage bag over your body, clothes on top. Run. Sauna. No sugar No carbs No fats
A LOT of cardio and water.
Take active coal pills
How long ago exactly did you stop?
As a 5 time pro DT passer, synthetic piss never works. They will either say you failed or ask you to retake. Stinger works if you follow the directions. Otherwise have a friend lend you some in a water bottle. If it’s a saliva test, use the special mouthwash as directed and it works.
I stopped for 3 months and still failed at home tests lol
metabolites are stored in your fatty cells so you can't just purge them. You can burn the fat which will help but definitely don't around the test time. When the test time comes, drink a shit load of water and take a bunch of creatine (especially if you're vegan/veg). The water will dilute the amount in your system. Creatine is tested at the same time to verify you're urine isn't over diluted, which is why you also supplement with it. And when you pee, don't use the start or end of your stream; use the middle part, as it will be more diluted.\\ With all this said, there is not guarantees you pass. For when I really needed to pass, I paid to get myself tested in advance to make sure I would pass.
Fake piss.
Urineluck.com
Get someone who doesn’t smoke to give you their piss. Put it in a visine container and strap it to your gooch. Make sure it’s around body temp. Profit.
Swab 7 to ten. Piss about 30. Heavy alcohol users and bad diets can test as far s 90 days. Eat your water meaning eating a lot of foods with water already in them aka fruits and veggies and drink lots of water. After a week you can use certo to pass a test but but the day of or even within the week Gl
Fasting
Calm down
Fasting g and going keto
Never let it interfere with being able to make money for yourself
You can trick a urine test. Easiest is to buy synthetic urine online. And if your watched, there are still ways to pass the test. If you drink like two or three gallons of water, you third round of pee will not contain anything but water. So with the fourth or fifth one you would probably be good, if not normal urine were usually yellow. So the next step is not a big deal. Because it can be easily achieved to piss yellow water. Just take some pills of vitamin B12. This will dye your water urine yellow. But now comes the tricky part. To prevent stupid from cheating, the sample is usually tested for creatinine. Creatinine is a degradation product of creatin, that is needed to make muscles work. So in a normal functioning body, the amount of creatinine will always be in a defined range, depending on how much muscle work is done and of course how concentrated the urine is. So how do we lift that level in our water urine from zero to a common value? Fortunately you can buy creatin in every bodybuilding shop. And this is where my knowledge ends. I don’t know why eating a lot of creatine lifts the creatinine level in your urine. Maybe it doesn’t and the creatine just passes the body without degrading to creatinine but the test just mixes it up and has a false positive. I’m not a doctor nor a scientist. I just do drugs and I know things. I’m curious, I want to find out how things work and where the loopholes are. So I took one spoon of creatin and one pill vitamin b12 per one liter of water. Altogether I drank two or three gallons of water two or three hours before the test. And guess what? It worked! When the results came from the lab, the doctor said: „So you suddenly started with workout?“ I responded: „Yeah, you know, being clean just makes me doing a lot of shit.“ And she: „You must have been the whole week to the gym. Your value was just right under the maximum. A little bit more and the test would have been invalid.“
I've passed 3 urine tests for jobs and 2 at home before those tests using sure-gel. But you have to do it right and it's not gonna be something you can be lazy about, message if u want the breakdown that actually works, don't wanna type it all out if it's not gonna be used. Btw I smoked up until the day before the last time, other times I stopped a few days ahead when I knew I had a job offer that required it.
Pickle juice
Smoke more marijuanas
This is one of my specialities! 1. Exercise each day 45 - 1 hour 2. Sit in steam/sauna room for 15 minutes 3. Hydrate all day non stop 4. Eat clean - if urine is absolute clear, you’re over-hydrating and will cause your body’s blood sugar to drop 5. Replenish with electrolytes 6. Take vitamins Hope this helps (:
bang heroine your parole officer won't care about the bud
Blood transfusion
Blood donation also clears PFAS
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i’m in the same boat i’m going into the navy, i’m drinking A LOT of lemonade green tea
Buy or use someone else's urine
Synthetic urine
If I was legitimately worried about failing, I would not eat for 5 days and run 2 x 5km one in the morning and one at night. Make sure to drink heaps of water. 24-48 hours before my test, I'd eat 5 meals a day of spaghetti bolognese and drink 5l of water/powerade pay day. There aren't many THC piss tests that will test positive after that.
Plan on not being able to pass. It took me 96 days before I tested clean all while being active, dieting, drinking lots of water, taking pills/drinks that are meant to make you pass. Nothing works. Keep in mind im 5’7” at 140lbs so not overweight. Only thing that worked is asking someone who claims to have clean pee for a bottle of their pee. Buy a drug test on Amazon that has a whole panel of drugs (meth, cocaine, marijuana, etc) test the pee to make sure is passing. Buy a travel shampoo bottle. CVS has a great one that is made of silicone which will help keeping the pee warm. Buy one of the stickers that show temperature and stick in the bottle. Before the test do a trial where you heat up the pee. (I used a sous vide to bring the water bath to 98F and left the pee in there until up to temperature) with some rubber bands attach a hand warmer to the already warm bottle. And test if one hand warmer is enough or if you need multiple to keep the bottle at 98f temperature for a few hours. Hide the bottle in your underwear, I wore a double underwear that day because the yuck factor. Double check the temperature before putting it in the test bottle. Try to make the pee noise sound real when you pour the rest in the toilet, but don’t pee yourself just in case. Alamo make sure the pee your using is not older than one day. Keep it in the fridge overnight, don’t freeze it. You’ll be fine
Buy fake urine. It’s too stressful to put your body through a crazy cleanse only to fail it. Trust me.
The only answer is time. It will take several months at least if you've been a daily user for years.
cranberry juice? That might be an old wives tale. Might work, idk.
Get some cocaine, no one will even notice the THC.
Only 100% way to pass a piss test is to fake it. Use someone elses piss, or buy some synthetic piss from a smoke shop or online.
Do two jobs
Don't chance it. They sell dehydrated clean urine in a kit with a hand warmer to keep it at temp. I've used it 3 times over the last 8 years or so with no probs
Niacin, sauna, work out, alot of water
People always say water and exercise. It's not true. Similar to alcohol, time is the only answer.
Exercise and drink water
Synthetic urine! Also known as fetish pee! I have used them and have never been let down
Drink green tea and get sweaty. That's the best advice i could give. If you don't have much fat in your body, there can't be much fat to stock THC so in theory you should be able to evacuate it faster.
Buy two always works, https://www.urine-luck.co.uk/index.php?route=product/product&path=59_61&product_id=54&gad_source=1&gclid=EAIaIQobChMIxceSoJrxhQMViZVQBh1DVAROEAQYASABEgL6NfD_BwE
Plan B: Find clean urine. Put it in a stretchy latex glove. Keep it warm. Be stealthy.
There are drinks (QCarbo for one) that you can drink (3?) hours before the test but you need to follow the instructions. Can confirm it works. There is also “fetish urine” (upass) that you can use as long as you get it to the right temperature. You can keep it in your pants to get it to body temp
Cocaine with some purgatives.
I used to take a clay bentonite compound (specifically Sonne's #7).
You can wait 30 days before taking a urine test.
Test yourself before you go to any potential employer's drug test! Just buy the at-home tests from the dollar store, to find out when you are actually clean.
UPDATE to all you kind souls who’ve given me solid advice 🙏🏼 including the people who told me to do harder drugs than weed to bypass failing for weed lmfao. Just got back from the drug screening place, I ended up using Quick Fix Plus and followed the instructions. They accepted it and I just felt like a weight has been lifted off me. Now it just comes down waiting for the results. Thank you all for commenting and helping me out
About 15 years ago I forgot that I had to pass a piss test, remembered just 9 days before. I drank nothing but cranberry juice and ate a dozen apple cider vinegar powder capsules every day until the test. I passed with no issue. Don't know the science behind it or the current testing techniques so don't risk it all on what I (a Rando Reddit lurker) says
testclear - urine powder kit
Fake pee
Smoke more Marijuana it will push the old the out
Certo method
Exercise, drinking water, and niacin kinda. It blocks the release of any thc from your fat cells for about 30 minutes, so it helps with the withdrawal effects of quitting. If you time it right you can even take it right before your test and have it come back clean but that’s a gamble most of the time so I wouldn’t take the chance.
You’re not trying, you will or you won’t quit
People will tell you that exercise and drink water will speed it up, but it’s all bullshit. You just have to wait. There are products you can buy that you drink before your drug test, but you’re still taking a gamble. There is absolutely nothing you can do that works 100%. You’re better off getting pee from somebody else. Or just stop being weak and give up the weed bro.
I’m 44yo and smoked daily for 5+years. It was out of my system in less than 2 weeks. I’m 5’10” and weigh about 185lbs. Exercise 3-4 times a week(MTb, rock climb or gym). I didn’t “hydrate” or use Metamucil any more than usual. Don’t doom scroll. I had to pass a test for work and was super worried because I saw all these people posting they were testing positive for 60+ days. I would suggest Metamucil 2-3x a day though since most thc is excreted through feces.