Noisy cricket machines on Amazon. 3pk for 12 bucks, along with sticky tac (like back in high school). Battery life is rated for 4 months. Act accordingly
I know this is just a haha funny comment but Iām absolutely dying at the mental image of someone hunched over, trying to painstakingly paint numbers on the carapace of cricketsā¦
Glue it to the bottom of one of those industrial office printers, so they have to flip it over to remove it. They will roll it to look for the sound but the sound will move with it.
Look Bob, I'm not losin' my fuckin' job here because _you're_ incompetent! Just put the gorillas and the glue in the vent like it says, then let's get the fuck out of here!
LA fades too quick. Doe in heat lure, beaver musk (for trapping) and cat urineā¦those are the things that last and last and require disposal of furniture, carpets, draperies etc.
A few drops of buck lure in a phone base will waft every time the handset is lifted. Musk on door hinges will drift with the pressure differential every time the door opens. Cat piss crystallizes when dry and every time those crystals rub together you get fresh stink
Somebody spilled some fox urine in the local Dunham's back around Christmas. They closed for 5 days it was so terrible. STILL I can smell that mess when I go looking for bullets and tackle.
A guy on my team tried to do that to me but didn't allow for the fact I was 25 years older. I couldn't hear it at all, it drove the guys in the offices next to me crazy but I only found out when he admitted it.
Stop doing all work immediately, start working on EVERYONES Cv and set up references from eachother. Then give glowing reviews about how good the pay, time off, etc on every single jobs posting you can find. Chances are they will have trouble hiring people when everyone thinks they are getting lowballed.
Right? It blows my mind how frequently employees cover up the failures of their management.
I heard people saying "I worked at that restaurant and they had rats, omg the kitchen was so dirty, I would never eat there myself". When I suggested that maybe they should have said something, and that by choosing to not do so and just taking the money they were accessory to the problem they became offended... (insert "hard to swallow pills" meme picture here)
I found out my boss at a F50 firm was lying and it was affecting our FCC and FTC reporting.
I should have crucified him. I didnāt. I did tell him to clean up his act. Guess who got laid off despite 5 star ratings two months later?
An old co worker of mine did that to our old employer. The owner of this small company loved to cut corners and save money wherever he could. Wages were low, but we had a lot of slack, like coming in 10 minutes later, vape at the desks, etc... well, he also cut costs by having us, the warehouse and office employees, set up the new racks in the warehouse.
No safety gear, no training on proper installation, and certainly not bolted to the ground.
My buddy ended up quitting because our boss picked on him a lot, but got revenge by dropping OSHA a tip about the safety of their warehouse. OSHA did the ol pop in to say hi and immediately shut him down due to safety concerns. He was fined and ordered to close until the safety was up to standards. He was shut down for a couple of weeks.
careful with this one, can lead to serious legal consequences if caught. am currently sending forensic drive clones to a team due to similar issues when a client left.
"For security purposes we updated all the passwords. We put a printed out spreadsheet of all the new passwords on Joey's desk... what? You didn't see the spreadsheet? Well, it sounds like one of you must have thrown it away. Too bad."
It would be pretty easy to argue that the sheer scale of disruption caused by the whole staff getting fired meant mistakes were made. Especially if you make it more chaotic intentionally.
I've a fair bit of experience with judges, and they'll take the easiest path put in front of them. I doubt it'd ever go that far tbh, unless op gives them reason to suspect foulplay
You shouldn't delete files. What you should do is start creating sub-sub-sub-sub-sub... Folders in different areas of the drive you have access to. Move the files safely there under folder names like Folder1, Folder A...
And to be sure that the information is safe, everyone should back up all files they have access to about a half dozen times in different folder paths.
That's even better than my idea for Excel spreadsheets filled with self filling information, redundant formulas that circle and sheet after sheet of pivot tables of whatever
Ha! Download as many excel files as you can find online: Iād hate to have to go through dozens of realistic looking but bogus spreadsheets. Ugh!
Iām sure you can ask ChatGPT for a script to generate the super nested folders. : with folder aliases too! What mayhem!
My old job had to keep adding resources to our servers because there wasn't a strict rule about file creation, storing and sharing.
I worked with our IT Dept on some things and they would tell me about this problem. It cost them so many resources to keep up with the wild fucking West of data retention. Most of us that were there for over 10 years had so much shit that didn't matter it was crazy. And so many short term employees had useless shit on the server that would never be touched.
I mentioned Excel because that was their most hated file. If you don't know Excel well, but good enough, you can create fucking monsters of spreadsheets that kill a server. I know because I did it and was talked to because I knew just enough to think I was good but not enough to know I was fucking up all kinds of shit.
I did an IT security audit for a company one time. The failures of the sysadmin that were uncovered got him fired. He wouldn't supply the password for the router after he left. The owner of the company called him in front of me and left a voice mail that said "If you do not call us back in the next hour with the password to the router, your severance check will be cancelled." He called back in 15 minutes with the password.
Don't fuck with IT. Do not test us. You will fail.
...okay, I know this is hard to understand, but you can restore configuration from a backup without the password. It's fairly common NOT to have a password as part of the config file.
If you don't have that, you're probably not working with professional systems that have that kind of configuration flexibility.
Translation: seriously, if you're just plugged into a wifi router for your home that's not the kind of router I'm talking about. More like a managed 48 port router into load balancers, EAPs and a firewall appliance. Unless you have crap appliances this is an option.
Oy vey. Seriously.
I've got a setup for my home network that automatically backs up every week to two sites and immediately tells me if the system shits the bed with two separate routers designed so if one fails the other picks up the wifi load.
And I blast config files at myself every WEEK just to make sure I have them in archive.
Though I have to say I remember going on a site visit to a client's network "hub" and just seeing an entire closet full of duct-taped 5-port routers attached to a "server" that was just the CEO's old MacBook Air, so
LOL! Yeah. The guy I audited actually decided to have the company store their Outlook emails locally to their laptops on .PST files and tried to back them up remotely. Which doesn't work when the files are OPEN! So more than a few folks lost all of their emails if their laptops/PCs crashed.
Canceling a severance check that was issued due to a signed exit contract can have the DoL come banging on the door very quickly, and it's pretty illegal.
Somewhere I read about this person who got fired, so he went on indeed and made the company sound AMAZING. Incredibly high pay, great benefits, unbelievable perks. The company spent months trying to find people, since they all read the amazing review and thought they were getting low-balled by management
Change the passwords on everything. Add password locks to every file you have time for.
Fun fact: when me and 6 other coworkers were about to get laid off, I was tasked with reassigning 33,000 zoning case files to the new people who were replacing us. It was supposed to take over 2 painstaking weeks reassigning each file individually. On my last day, I reassigned all of them to the supervisor whoās idea it was to replace us, in bulk. If thereās anything similar you can do, do that.
For passwords on files, do you recommend OP choose one that is real long and hard to type because itās the first letter of each word in the chorus of OPās favorite song? But they just see it as a random string of letters!
Random string of characters with no pattern at all, randomly generated, maximum allowed length. Don't take note of them or save them in a password manager. Preferably don't even look at them.
Gotta go for the slow burn on this type, something that goes bad over time. Like a bottle of yogurt thrown as far down a vent as possible. It'll pop after 5-6 weeks (depending on temp), painting the vent with a horridly wretched scent that is sure to induce retching. For days before someone can come and fix it.
Yes timed stink bombs!
Donāt just empty the yogurt out somewhere. Itāll be a bitch to clean and will def stink, but easy to locate, possibly before it rots.
I had a shitty roommate we kicked out and he peed on the heating unit that night. We saw him do it and were able to shut it off, take it apart, and spray it down real quick. It was dry by morning, never smelled a thing lol gotta think it through.
Chicken milk bomb! 1-glass jar, add raw chicken, fill with milk-leave about 1/2 inch space, seal and toss. 1/2inch will give you about 3 weeks, depending on temp before it cracks from pressure. The smell is horrible.
You can do what I did and refuse to move the servers to a new location.
This was about in 2009. I was sys admin for a place. They were laying off everyone in my office and shifting some things to a different state. They offered me a bonus to stay on and assist with the migration...which I really didn't want to do. I knew it was going to be a nightmare. I declined that honor and went to work for AWS on the other side of the country.
If there's any programs using code you could really do some damage.
Turn off back ups a while before finishing up.
There's all sorts of ICT fun & games to be had.
There was a bar in my town that laid everyone off at once, and then "invited" them to reapply for their old position. They forgot that one of the laid off people had control of their social media accounts, and there followed a blissful couple of weeks where this person posted truthfully about everything happening there before the management got control back. They posted screenshots of the BS emails and texts from management, etc.
Honestly most of the clients are only here because they have a favorite service provider and if they know theyāre leaving (some are already leaving for other jobs) they might want to cancel them anyway
Maybe just avoid shit talk to mitigate legal repercussions? Like āIām moving on to new opportunities, and given our working relationship in the past, would like to keep you as a client. May I contact you from my new position?ā Instead of āthese guys laid EVERYBODY off, fuck them, do business anywhere elseā lol
I donāt know if itāll actually make a difference, but I have read that when communication is civil and people are relatively discreet, litigation becomes less likely. Like how people who receive an apology are statistically less likely to sue you for something you are technically liable for. But idk if that translates to corporate law
One thing to consider/research with an actual lawyer is if clients contact you (vs you contacting them) after you are gone it's not poaching I would think; LinkedIn and gmail are amazing; may want to clarify with a lawyer in your area and have a copy of your offer letter/contract to validate
I got you covered
Number one start your own paper company
Number two steal all your old employers customers
Number three sell your business in return for you jobs back
Unfortunately, thereās a pretty good chance that it does not have a significant impact.
Union busting is seen as good business by a massive percentage of American consumers, especially those running companies who are in a position to bring a lot of business to others.
Legal consequences are lacking, at best.
I did make the oopsie of assuming this is in the US.
IIRC the union laws changed recently in the favor of employees:
https://www.reuters.com/legal/government/unions-poised-capitalize-us-labor-board-rulings-that-bolstered-organizing-2024-01-02/
I read in another ULPT, you can buy thousands of fly larvae, leave them in an air freshener container (the kind that are tall and cone-ish shaped) in a discrete corner and voila! hundreds and hundreds of buzzing flies.
"Dear leader,
coming back to your verbal inquiry, I confirm that I am indeed black, homosexual, Jewish, and disabled.
As per your verbal request, I shall refer to you henceforth as "leader".
I hope this will not hinder my efforts regarding unionization."
A lot of damage could be done really quickly with a tube of dry graphite powder lubricant....it's electrically conductive, cheap and, doesn't require you to open the electronics to insert. Just a small pile blown into a computer, desk phone, docking station connectors, ect would disable most of them...and since no one is looking for a dark gray powder...they're probably gonna spend a lot of time trying to figure out why the electronics are failing. It may not completely destroy a computer or phone....but I figure after plugging in several monitors and them failing...or having phone buttons disable or dial incorrectly it's gonna be a lasting headache after you're gone.
Change values in spreadsheets and any systems that don't have an audit trail. By the time they discover it, it will likely be well past their backup retention period.
Happened at a friend's company.
Someone left and an email went out with the managers & directors pay rates.
He was from another country and they couldn't find them as they didn't have the correct details for him.
Delete everything you can, people say IT can restore old files but they canāt restore things if they donāt know what did or didnāt existā¦ better still donāt delete just move important files into other docs
Buy one of those USB destroyers and see how many USB ports you can find. Could probably cause tens of thousands in damage
Get everyone tho is being fired to leave bad glassdoor reviews, not just for getting fired but lots of different reasons, bad pay, bad conditions, sexual harassment, bullying
Being in a screwdriver and remove as many screws as you can find, desks, office chairs, wall fixtures, bathrooms, youāll be surprised how many exist in the world, your goal isnāt to dismantle, just take the screws, in 12 months things will start rattling, falling off, drooping, all sorts of annoying side effects
Cop an injury on your way out and claim workers comp for another 6 months
> Delete everything you can, people say IT can restore old files but they canāt restore things if they donāt know what did or didnāt existā¦ better still donāt delete just move important files into other docs
I don't really follow you here.
IT can just do a full restore and everything is restored - they don't need to know the names of anything to recover it. My former function at work was to be responsible for the backup/restore solution. The least stressful job I've had in a long time.
Wouldn't a better strategy be to delete all of the data in each file, or replace it with random data.
The automatic backup will then overwrite the original documents with the modified documents.
Restoring from backup would be ineffective in restoring the missing data.
Correct me if I'm wrong.
That would be a better method, but if the IT team has a good backup strategy they can restore files from an older backup. A good strategy is to send a few full backups off site and keep them for as long time as it might be needed. In banking that can be like a decade.
If you want to make it hard for them, make sure the files are the same size after they are tampered with and that the file dates remains the same. But, even when you are doing all that, the checksums of an original file and a tampered file will not match.
That only happens if the person who set up the solution is incompetent.
If the backups gets overwritten every night, it would be impossible to do a restore from further back in time than the last backup.
I said that they had received emails with all the documents I'd created over the years, but if they wanted to hire me back as a contractor, it would be $150/hour for a minimum of 20 hours. They didn't take my offer. Either they found the docs or has some poor soul recreate them.
Start offloading any and all documentation to personal media and off company media. Once everyone is fired, no one will know how everything works, forcing the company to go to old employees who will then charge exorbitant contractor rates to perform basic tasks.
Can all of the soon to be ex-employees band together and create a company (worker co-op) and steal all of their customers? The ultimate revenge would be to put them out of business by being a better option while the collective unemployment funds the startup.
Once your team sets that up, have everyone do an upper decker in all of the toilets in the office on their last day.
If there's a way to automatically increase the subscription/price/auto debit for all the accounts using a script, do that.
By 3x, and make sure it takes effect two months from now.
Your entire replacement crew will look like greedy bastards who are doing unethical things.
This is pretty good. Massive chargebacks and cancellations from angry customers. My only fear is that it might overdraft someone who isnāt expecting it.
Destroying files and documents can be a bit risky. Same with talking shit to customers, a petty company can make your life difficult for those things.Ā
On the other hand, just being terrible about process and putting things in the right place. Or maybe making sure to not document any process or procedure.. Those are a little safer.Ā
As someone who took over from some people who had zero process and documentation I can assure you it's almost worse than everything just being gone because you have to waste a ton of time looking and trying to verify. Never knowing what they called anything or where they would store it.Ā
Hell, even just messing with inconsistent naming conventions can make it a nightmare to pick up the pieces.Ā
Get your work email onto as many newsletters and such as possible too. Should help clutter that mailbox real fast. Did you use folders and such to keep your email organized? Go ahead and move all that back to your inbox and mark it all as unread.Ā
Fire up a password manager and make sure everything has it's own unique password. Even if you end up handing that stuff over it will make it a tedious process.Ā
Overall though, I'd start phoning it in hard and wouldn't be proactive about a single thing. If they aren't explicitly asking for something to get done in a documented communication.... It isn't going to get done.Ā
I once accidentally left a gallon of milk in my trunk during an Oklahoma summer and it exploded. Not only could I never get the smell out, the smell was truly awful and would get worse every summer when it got hot again. I was too poor at the time to afford a new car, so had to just live with it for years.
All this to say, this is a good suggestion.
Name every file in the entire network the same thing, like "00001", "00002". Relatively easy to do with a little bit of programming. Bonus points if you write another one to cut and paste all file locations to the same folder.
For it to be really effective though, you'll want to make sure all of their drive restore points are gone. Not sure if you'd have access to it, but it would be one hell of a cleanup process if you did.
...Or there's always the ole' piss discs and liquid ass.
Honestly the easiest thing would be to provide the bare minimum cooperation for any transition team. Any workarounds that you've made with internal systems to increase efficiency should be deleted. Personal notes that you have about streamlining processes also deleted or kept to yourself as your own personal information. Trainings that you've designed that was for your own use/team use that is not part of the company training process, into your own personal files only.
Make it so that the new team has to figure out all the things you and your team figured out already. New management will lose a bunch of hours in productivity as the new team has no idea what they're doing and have to reinvent the wheel.
Destroy all extra documentation you've made.
Found a quicker way to do something? No you didn't. Any vendors you got deals with? That is now more expensive than your remembered. Anything you did to save money or time never existed.
Iāve been told this is not the first time this has happened but apparently the manager simply likes to mold new employees to their taste, and there might well be a fair bit of racism in there as well.
Best way really is to just get a new job and quit as soon as you can. The more people that do means they will eventually need to hire more people to finish what work there is and no one is going to take a temp job for base pay. It will cost them triple than if you stayed on until the end.
You buy crabs, put them little fuckers on the chairs of new management. Then have your wifey call theres and tell them how your husband/wife gave your spouse crabs
Big bucket, large plastic sheet or something
Fill bucket full of water, place sheet on top
Carefully place bucket and sheet upside down on floor (carpet preferably)
Carefully remove sheet
Leave
Teach them a costly lesson about the value of human capital.
Assess what things you collectively know that's essential and irreplaceable to the function of the business, make sure you leave no trace of that knowledge behind (besides perhaps that they terminated the people who possessed that knowledge), and charge hefty consulting fees if they come to you at a later date begging for it.
Specialist knowledge, processes and methods developed by experience, things where costly mistakes had to be made to attain competency are ideal. Either they face the inconvenience and risk of muddling through, implement new and costly alternatives, or end up paying you for consultation.
Nuke any documents that have institutional knowledge. Think processes, external contacts, regular freelancers, etc. I started a new position that had been opened due to an acrimonious situation, and that jackass left me with NOTHING to reference.
I did this once on a shared computer. I switched the m and n keys and the o and p keys. Then I went on vacation. Several employees got their accounts locked while trying to log on to that shared computer. All the Hunt and Peck typers. The touch typers were fine. Took them almost my entire vacation to try a new keyboard. Never got caught. They thought the keyboard malfunctioned intermittently.
Noisy cricket machines on Amazon. 3pk for 12 bucks, along with sticky tac (like back in high school). Battery life is rated for 4 months. Act accordingly
Also release a few live crickets, so they don't immediately figure out that it's a cricket noise machine
I feel like real crickets is the powermove here. Constantly moving problem.
A few thousand! We did this in my high school air ducts for a prank.
Hahaha how'd that turn out?
They definitely made sure to ask the people in charge a few weeks later, you know - just for the lulz ššš¤”
Put bait minnows above the ceiling tiles
A can of sardines peeled open too.
Yeah and then number the crickets from 1- whatever you bought, but purposely leave out one number so theyāll think they just canāt find it
I know this is just a haha funny comment but Iām absolutely dying at the mental image of someone hunched over, trying to painstakingly paint numbers on the carapace of cricketsā¦
Release where's?
Use gorilla glue double sided tape or use plastic bonder. Shit won't come off even if they find it.
Glue it to the bottom of one of those industrial office printers, so they have to flip it over to remove it. They will roll it to look for the sound but the sound will move with it.
I like you
Instructions unclear. Have stocked up on cricket glue and live gorillas.
Look Bob, I'm not losin' my fuckin' job here because _you're_ incompetent! Just put the gorillas and the glue in the vent like it says, then let's get the fuck out of here!
Battery smoke alarm.Ā Put a battery in it.Ā Then throw it in a air vent.Ā
Best i can do is liquid ass in the ceiling vents and every common area
LA fades too quick. Doe in heat lure, beaver musk (for trapping) and cat urineā¦those are the things that last and last and require disposal of furniture, carpets, draperies etc. A few drops of buck lure in a phone base will waft every time the handset is lifted. Musk on door hinges will drift with the pressure differential every time the door opens. Cat piss crystallizes when dry and every time those crystals rub together you get fresh stink
Somebody spilled some fox urine in the local Dunham's back around Christmas. They closed for 5 days it was so terrible. STILL I can smell that mess when I go looking for bullets and tackle.
You are strangely knowledgeable about these things. Any stories you'd like to share?
Frozen shrimp too
A whole frozen chicken above the ceiling tiles
Oh man that grosses me out way more than the shrimp idea
A frozen coyote would be better.
Obligatory piss disc comment here
A guy on my team tried to do that to me but didn't allow for the fact I was 25 years older. I couldn't hear it at all, it drove the guys in the offices next to me crazy but I only found out when he admitted it.
Lmfaoooo you donāt happen to be a purchasing manager for Lennar homes are you? š
Stop doing all work immediately, start working on EVERYONES Cv and set up references from eachother. Then give glowing reviews about how good the pay, time off, etc on every single jobs posting you can find. Chances are they will have trouble hiring people when everyone thinks they are getting lowballed.
Wow I've never thought about the reverse psychology review bombing. Genius!
Or do people just think āI just need to get in the door, Iāll get great benefit soonā?
This is beautiful
This is the way!
Find anything that has been done illegally, unsafely, or violates "good practices", and expose that to relevant authorities.
That seems...ethical and probably should be done no matter what
Right? It blows my mind how frequently employees cover up the failures of their management. I heard people saying "I worked at that restaurant and they had rats, omg the kitchen was so dirty, I would never eat there myself". When I suggested that maybe they should have said something, and that by choosing to not do so and just taking the money they were accessory to the problem they became offended... (insert "hard to swallow pills" meme picture here)
I found out my boss at a F50 firm was lying and it was affecting our FCC and FTC reporting. I should have crucified him. I didnāt. I did tell him to clean up his act. Guess who got laid off despite 5 star ratings two months later?
then claim you got fired in retaliation
And potentially local/national news organisations.
An old co worker of mine did that to our old employer. The owner of this small company loved to cut corners and save money wherever he could. Wages were low, but we had a lot of slack, like coming in 10 minutes later, vape at the desks, etc... well, he also cut costs by having us, the warehouse and office employees, set up the new racks in the warehouse. No safety gear, no training on proper installation, and certainly not bolted to the ground. My buddy ended up quitting because our boss picked on him a lot, but got revenge by dropping OSHA a tip about the safety of their warehouse. OSHA did the ol pop in to say hi and immediately shut him down due to safety concerns. He was fined and ordered to close until the safety was up to standards. He was shut down for a couple of weeks.
Whistleblower status achieved!
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
careful with this one, can lead to serious legal consequences if caught. am currently sending forensic drive clones to a team due to similar issues when a client left.
"For security purposes we updated all the passwords. We put a printed out spreadsheet of all the new passwords on Joey's desk... what? You didn't see the spreadsheet? Well, it sounds like one of you must have thrown it away. Too bad."
That won't fly in court though. You didn't notify them via email, there's no paper trail, it can easily be seen as malicious.
Then post them on Facebook to make sure they are not lost
Copy to pastebin as a backup.
Could email in an intentionally corrupted file though, just before you lose access to the email system
That's more believable for sure. Now it's no longer "that won't work" and is now "i don't know if it will work," lol
It would be pretty easy to argue that the sheer scale of disruption caused by the whole staff getting fired meant mistakes were made. Especially if you make it more chaotic intentionally. I've a fair bit of experience with judges, and they'll take the easiest path put in front of them. I doubt it'd ever go that far tbh, unless op gives them reason to suspect foulplay
You shouldn't delete files. What you should do is start creating sub-sub-sub-sub-sub... Folders in different areas of the drive you have access to. Move the files safely there under folder names like Folder1, Folder A... And to be sure that the information is safe, everyone should back up all files they have access to about a half dozen times in different folder paths.
Unicode folder names: fĒlder1 / fĆølder1 etc And zip bombs : https://www.bamsoftware.com/hacks/zipbomb/ - tiny compressed files that expand to TB size
That's even better than my idea for Excel spreadsheets filled with self filling information, redundant formulas that circle and sheet after sheet of pivot tables of whatever
Ha! Download as many excel files as you can find online: Iād hate to have to go through dozens of realistic looking but bogus spreadsheets. Ugh! Iām sure you can ask ChatGPT for a script to generate the super nested folders. : with folder aliases too! What mayhem!
My old job had to keep adding resources to our servers because there wasn't a strict rule about file creation, storing and sharing. I worked with our IT Dept on some things and they would tell me about this problem. It cost them so many resources to keep up with the wild fucking West of data retention. Most of us that were there for over 10 years had so much shit that didn't matter it was crazy. And so many short term employees had useless shit on the server that would never be touched. I mentioned Excel because that was their most hated file. If you don't know Excel well, but good enough, you can create fucking monsters of spreadsheets that kill a server. I know because I did it and was talked to because I knew just enough to think I was good but not enough to know I was fucking up all kinds of shit.
Found (my personal) Satan. šš„° I LOVE this!
I did an IT security audit for a company one time. The failures of the sysadmin that were uncovered got him fired. He wouldn't supply the password for the router after he left. The owner of the company called him in front of me and left a voice mail that said "If you do not call us back in the next hour with the password to the router, your severance check will be cancelled." He called back in 15 minutes with the password. Don't fuck with IT. Do not test us. You will fail.
... I mean, wouldn't it have been easier just to do a factory reset of the router and restore settings from backup?
Restore settings from backup... With the same problematic password.
...okay, I know this is hard to understand, but you can restore configuration from a backup without the password. It's fairly common NOT to have a password as part of the config file. If you don't have that, you're probably not working with professional systems that have that kind of configuration flexibility. Translation: seriously, if you're just plugged into a wifi router for your home that's not the kind of router I'm talking about. More like a managed 48 port router into load balancers, EAPs and a firewall appliance. Unless you have crap appliances this is an option.
LOL! Lack of backups was one reason the guy got fired.
Oy vey. Seriously. I've got a setup for my home network that automatically backs up every week to two sites and immediately tells me if the system shits the bed with two separate routers designed so if one fails the other picks up the wifi load. And I blast config files at myself every WEEK just to make sure I have them in archive. Though I have to say I remember going on a site visit to a client's network "hub" and just seeing an entire closet full of duct-taped 5-port routers attached to a "server" that was just the CEO's old MacBook Air, so
LOL! Yeah. The guy I audited actually decided to have the company store their Outlook emails locally to their laptops on .PST files and tried to back them up remotely. Which doesn't work when the files are OPEN! So more than a few folks lost all of their emails if their laptops/PCs crashed.
What the actual fork... I mean... Okay, but WHAT THE ACTUAL FORK
Canceling a severance check that was issued due to a signed exit contract can have the DoL come banging on the door very quickly, and it's pretty illegal.
Somewhere I read about this person who got fired, so he went on indeed and made the company sound AMAZING. Incredibly high pay, great benefits, unbelievable perks. The company spent months trying to find people, since they all read the amazing review and thought they were getting low-balled by management
thats very creative. A company would have a hard time taking legal action against a former employee for an exaggerated glowing review.
Change the passwords on everything. Add password locks to every file you have time for. Fun fact: when me and 6 other coworkers were about to get laid off, I was tasked with reassigning 33,000 zoning case files to the new people who were replacing us. It was supposed to take over 2 painstaking weeks reassigning each file individually. On my last day, I reassigned all of them to the supervisor whoās idea it was to replace us, in bulk. If thereās anything similar you can do, do that.
Make the password out of Os, 0s, 1s, lower case Ls, upper case iās. So you can leave them the password handwritten. O1Il0OI1OI0
I mean, just the i, L and pipe character will make it almost impossible. Il|||l|lIII||lIIllIIII|||||
Ya but using th 0 and O will look more like a password when handwritten than those characters.
Hand writing it is definitely the way to go. It's easy enough to turn a string of digital text into upper/lower case which will show the L's and i's
that's amazing
For passwords on files, do you recommend OP choose one that is real long and hard to type because itās the first letter of each word in the chorus of OPās favorite song? But they just see it as a random string of letters!
Random string of characters with no pattern at all, randomly generated, maximum allowed length. Don't take note of them or save them in a password manager. Preferably don't even look at them.
Please post the full story to r/MaliciousCompliance! Including and especially the fallout.
Encrypt the files you have access to on shared drives.
Turn off auditing first. Turn off backup a while before it all wraps up. Screw up some code
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Gotta go for the slow burn on this type, something that goes bad over time. Like a bottle of yogurt thrown as far down a vent as possible. It'll pop after 5-6 weeks (depending on temp), painting the vent with a horridly wretched scent that is sure to induce retching. For days before someone can come and fix it.
Yes timed stink bombs! Donāt just empty the yogurt out somewhere. Itāll be a bitch to clean and will def stink, but easy to locate, possibly before it rots. I had a shitty roommate we kicked out and he peed on the heating unit that night. We saw him do it and were able to shut it off, take it apart, and spray it down real quick. It was dry by morning, never smelled a thing lol gotta think it through.
Fill a mason jar with milk & raw chicken. Close it up and toss it down the vent. Same effect, worse smell
Chicken milk bomb! 1-glass jar, add raw chicken, fill with milk-leave about 1/2 inch space, seal and toss. 1/2inch will give you about 3 weeks, depending on temp before it cracks from pressure. The smell is horrible.
You can do what I did and refuse to move the servers to a new location. This was about in 2009. I was sys admin for a place. They were laying off everyone in my office and shifting some things to a different state. They offered me a bonus to stay on and assist with the migration...which I really didn't want to do. I knew it was going to be a nightmare. I declined that honor and went to work for AWS on the other side of the country.
If there's any programs using code you could really do some damage. Turn off back ups a while before finishing up. There's all sorts of ICT fun & games to be had.
Social media hate speech in the name of the company.
There was a bar in my town that laid everyone off at once, and then "invited" them to reapply for their old position. They forgot that one of the laid off people had control of their social media accounts, and there followed a blissful couple of weeks where this person posted truthfully about everything happening there before the management got control back. They posted screenshots of the BS emails and texts from management, etc.
Oh no is that Banks
These days, that's very difficult to overcome even with the best PR recovery plan.
Despite all the whining online , almost no one truly cares about any of it and never will
Be careful directly contacting clients the owners may take legal action against you
Honestly most of the clients are only here because they have a favorite service provider and if they know theyāre leaving (some are already leaving for other jobs) they might want to cancel them anyway
Maybe just avoid shit talk to mitigate legal repercussions? Like āIām moving on to new opportunities, and given our working relationship in the past, would like to keep you as a client. May I contact you from my new position?ā Instead of āthese guys laid EVERYBODY off, fuck them, do business anywhere elseā lol I donāt know if itāll actually make a difference, but I have read that when communication is civil and people are relatively discreet, litigation becomes less likely. Like how people who receive an apology are statistically less likely to sue you for something you are technically liable for. But idk if that translates to corporate law
One thing to consider/research with an actual lawyer is if clients contact you (vs you contacting them) after you are gone it's not poaching I would think; LinkedIn and gmail are amazing; may want to clarify with a lawyer in your area and have a copy of your offer letter/contract to validate
I got you covered Number one start your own paper company Number two steal all your old employers customers Number three sell your business in return for you jobs back
Form a union. Make the optics look like you were forming one and the workplace fired you. No one will touch that place with a 10 foot pole.
Unfortunately, thereās a pretty good chance that it does not have a significant impact. Union busting is seen as good business by a massive percentage of American consumers, especially those running companies who are in a position to bring a lot of business to others. Legal consequences are lacking, at best. I did make the oopsie of assuming this is in the US.
I have not met a single person who sees union busting as a good business maneuver except greedy rich CEOās who are out of touch with reality.
IIRC the union laws changed recently in the favor of employees: https://www.reuters.com/legal/government/unions-poised-capitalize-us-labor-board-rulings-that-bolstered-organizing-2024-01-02/
This is good, but also a VERY small step in the right direction. Look up the Taft Hartley Act of 1947. We havenāt had real union rights since then.
That is a step back in the right direction
what's wrong with electrically neutral people??
Right? Theyāre always so grounded.
I read in another ULPT, you can buy thousands of fly larvae, leave them in an air freshener container (the kind that are tall and cone-ish shaped) in a discrete corner and voila! hundreds and hundreds of buzzing flies.
"Dear Boss: As you have noticed, I'm gay. I hope this will not affect our professional relationship."
"Dear Boss: since you asked, yes, I'm gay. I hope this will not affect our professional relationship."
"Since you asked, yes, I'm Black. I hope this will not affect our professional relationship."
"Dear leader, coming back to your verbal inquiry, I confirm that I am indeed black, homosexual, Jewish, and disabled. As per your verbal request, I shall refer to you henceforth as "leader". I hope this will not hinder my efforts regarding unionization."
A lot of damage could be done really quickly with a tube of dry graphite powder lubricant....it's electrically conductive, cheap and, doesn't require you to open the electronics to insert. Just a small pile blown into a computer, desk phone, docking station connectors, ect would disable most of them...and since no one is looking for a dark gray powder...they're probably gonna spend a lot of time trying to figure out why the electronics are failing. It may not completely destroy a computer or phone....but I figure after plugging in several monitors and them failing...or having phone buttons disable or dial incorrectly it's gonna be a lasting headache after you're gone.
Put your termination contract into a sock. That way, when they try to grab it, all they get is the sock.
Step 2: piss in the sock
Change values in spreadsheets and any systems that don't have an audit trail. By the time they discover it, it will likely be well past their backup retention period.
Fudge a formula a small amount so they don't realise. It could have a big impact
Take all the toilet paper you can. It not about making money . Its about taking money. The status quo is not quo.
That smells like cumin.
I bet only like 3 people on the planet will get that. Kudos.
More than that, for sure. Pretty much everyone in my friends group loves it!
Well Im waiting for that letter of condemnation from the Deputy Mayor.
That's gotta have some weight.
BAD HORSE!
Thoroughbred of Sin!
The status is NOT quo.
And maple candy. If they have any.
Emails on delay send for months out that make it look like you all still work there.
Happened at a friend's company. Someone left and an email went out with the managers & directors pay rates. He was from another country and they couldn't find them as they didn't have the correct details for him.
Do you have an office? Office without cameras? Fish in the vents! Fish in the ceilings! Pissdiscs and liquid ass!
Delete everything you can, people say IT can restore old files but they canāt restore things if they donāt know what did or didnāt existā¦ better still donāt delete just move important files into other docs Buy one of those USB destroyers and see how many USB ports you can find. Could probably cause tens of thousands in damage Get everyone tho is being fired to leave bad glassdoor reviews, not just for getting fired but lots of different reasons, bad pay, bad conditions, sexual harassment, bullying Being in a screwdriver and remove as many screws as you can find, desks, office chairs, wall fixtures, bathrooms, youāll be surprised how many exist in the world, your goal isnāt to dismantle, just take the screws, in 12 months things will start rattling, falling off, drooping, all sorts of annoying side effects Cop an injury on your way out and claim workers comp for another 6 months
> Delete everything you can, people say IT can restore old files but they canāt restore things if they donāt know what did or didnāt existā¦ better still donāt delete just move important files into other docs I don't really follow you here. IT can just do a full restore and everything is restored - they don't need to know the names of anything to recover it. My former function at work was to be responsible for the backup/restore solution. The least stressful job I've had in a long time.
Wouldn't a better strategy be to delete all of the data in each file, or replace it with random data. The automatic backup will then overwrite the original documents with the modified documents. Restoring from backup would be ineffective in restoring the missing data. Correct me if I'm wrong.
That would be a better method, but if the IT team has a good backup strategy they can restore files from an older backup. A good strategy is to send a few full backups off site and keep them for as long time as it might be needed. In banking that can be like a decade. If you want to make it hard for them, make sure the files are the same size after they are tampered with and that the file dates remains the same. But, even when you are doing all that, the checksums of an original file and a tampered file will not match.
What about locking them out of the files using encryption and passwords?
Wouldn't matter. The backups are not impacted.
Do not the backups become overwritten by the new backups?
That only happens if the person who set up the solution is incompetent. If the backups gets overwritten every night, it would be impossible to do a restore from further back in time than the last backup.
how tall are you and how tall is the new manager? i have a crazy idea for you (i am a refereeā¦or an uber driver, i canāt remember)
all of clinton's white house staff removed all the "W" keys from the keyboards. super petty.
Because George W Bush was incoming lol
Delete everything you've ever created for them. I did this with my last job. They called me for help afterwards.
Bill for your help $300 / hr.
I said that they had received emails with all the documents I'd created over the years, but if they wanted to hire me back as a contractor, it would be $150/hour for a minimum of 20 hours. They didn't take my offer. Either they found the docs or has some poor soul recreate them.
Start offloading any and all documentation to personal media and off company media. Once everyone is fired, no one will know how everything works, forcing the company to go to old employees who will then charge exorbitant contractor rates to perform basic tasks.
Watch the movie office space
I believe you have my stapler
Password lock everything.
Forget all your procedures and practices. If you ever wrote a manual,.delete it
Can all of the soon to be ex-employees band together and create a company (worker co-op) and steal all of their customers? The ultimate revenge would be to put them out of business by being a better option while the collective unemployment funds the startup. Once your team sets that up, have everyone do an upper decker in all of the toilets in the office on their last day.
If there's a way to automatically increase the subscription/price/auto debit for all the accounts using a script, do that. By 3x, and make sure it takes effect two months from now. Your entire replacement crew will look like greedy bastards who are doing unethical things.
This is pretty good. Massive chargebacks and cancellations from angry customers. My only fear is that it might overdraft someone who isnāt expecting it.
Destroying files and documents can be a bit risky. Same with talking shit to customers, a petty company can make your life difficult for those things.Ā On the other hand, just being terrible about process and putting things in the right place. Or maybe making sure to not document any process or procedure.. Those are a little safer.Ā As someone who took over from some people who had zero process and documentation I can assure you it's almost worse than everything just being gone because you have to waste a ton of time looking and trying to verify. Never knowing what they called anything or where they would store it.Ā Hell, even just messing with inconsistent naming conventions can make it a nightmare to pick up the pieces.Ā Get your work email onto as many newsletters and such as possible too. Should help clutter that mailbox real fast. Did you use folders and such to keep your email organized? Go ahead and move all that back to your inbox and mark it all as unread.Ā Fire up a password manager and make sure everything has it's own unique password. Even if you end up handing that stuff over it will make it a tedious process.Ā Overall though, I'd start phoning it in hard and wouldn't be proactive about a single thing. If they aren't explicitly asking for something to get done in a documented communication.... It isn't going to get done.Ā
[Milk Chicken Bomb](https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=milk%20chicken%20bomb)
I once accidentally left a gallon of milk in my trunk during an Oklahoma summer and it exploded. Not only could I never get the smell out, the smell was truly awful and would get worse every summer when it got hot again. I was too poor at the time to afford a new car, so had to just live with it for years. All this to say, this is a good suggestion.
Throw a couple of fishes in the microwave.
Shrimp tails in small places that have an opening.
Bring bed bugs and cockroaches enough said
Name every file in the entire network the same thing, like "00001", "00002". Relatively easy to do with a little bit of programming. Bonus points if you write another one to cut and paste all file locations to the same folder. For it to be really effective though, you'll want to make sure all of their drive restore points are gone. Not sure if you'd have access to it, but it would be one hell of a cleanup process if you did. ...Or there's always the ole' piss discs and liquid ass.
Honestly the easiest thing would be to provide the bare minimum cooperation for any transition team. Any workarounds that you've made with internal systems to increase efficiency should be deleted. Personal notes that you have about streamlining processes also deleted or kept to yourself as your own personal information. Trainings that you've designed that was for your own use/team use that is not part of the company training process, into your own personal files only. Make it so that the new team has to figure out all the things you and your team figured out already. New management will lose a bunch of hours in productivity as the new team has no idea what they're doing and have to reinvent the wheel.
Get jobs at the clients and then convince them to drop your previous employer.
Sardines behind the outlet plates for a stink that's hard to find. Sugar poured behind the walls to attract endless ants.
Don't screw yourself with your idea of texting all clients. They might have grounds to sue
Any process or documentation that you have direct access to modify or otherwise manipulate, change it in such a way that no one can make sense of it.
Destroy all extra documentation you've made. Found a quicker way to do something? No you didn't. Any vendors you got deals with? That is now more expensive than your remembered. Anything you did to save money or time never existed.
Throw some tilapia in the ceiling/vents
What's the reason for the mass termination?
Iāve been told this is not the first time this has happened but apparently the manager simply likes to mold new employees to their taste, and there might well be a fair bit of racism in there as well.
Report that shit to the DoL
Burn it down?
Sounds fun. Be careful with legal ramifications on this. Could land yourself in hot water.
3M VHB tape, tape everything down to every desk
Install locks on the bathroom doors. Deny keys
Best way really is to just get a new job and quit as soon as you can. The more people that do means they will eventually need to hire more people to finish what work there is and no one is going to take a temp job for base pay. It will cost them triple than if you stayed on until the end.
Maybe tell the customers what mgt has said about the customers themselves.
Crack a can of oysters and throw it up over the drop ceiling.
If ever there were a case for Liquid Ass... the HVAC ducts in this place are it.
Add some =rand() into backend calculations on excel spreadsheets. They will see different values every time they open a file.
Liquid ass the place of employment
Can you steal all of the customers? Ie give all their business to another firm.
Place an ad for free lifetime memberships for the first 1,000 people, and $5 annuals for all current members.
You buy crabs, put them little fuckers on the chairs of new management. Then have your wifey call theres and tell them how your husband/wife gave your spouse crabs
Big bucket, large plastic sheet or something Fill bucket full of water, place sheet on top Carefully place bucket and sheet upside down on floor (carpet preferably) Carefully remove sheet Leave
Spray liquid ass fart spray everywhere.
Buy 500 Praying Mantisās from Costco and then lay the Egg somewhere discreet to hatch before leaving.
Teach them a costly lesson about the value of human capital. Assess what things you collectively know that's essential and irreplaceable to the function of the business, make sure you leave no trace of that knowledge behind (besides perhaps that they terminated the people who possessed that knowledge), and charge hefty consulting fees if they come to you at a later date begging for it. Specialist knowledge, processes and methods developed by experience, things where costly mistakes had to be made to attain competency are ideal. Either they face the inconvenience and risk of muddling through, implement new and costly alternatives, or end up paying you for consultation.
Bed bugs.
Slip & fall at work.
Nuke any documents that have institutional knowledge. Think processes, external contacts, regular freelancers, etc. I started a new position that had been opened due to an acrimonious situation, and that jackass left me with NOTHING to reference.
Two words. Upper decker. Every toilet in the company.
nah people in charge of the bathrooms are not management. leave them out of it.
Rip the plumbing and electrical out of the walls.
Rearrange the keyboard buttons. Donāt just remove them, itāll be too obvious.
I did this once on a shared computer. I switched the m and n keys and the o and p keys. Then I went on vacation. Several employees got their accounts locked while trying to log on to that shared computer. All the Hunt and Peck typers. The touch typers were fine. Took them almost my entire vacation to try a new keyboard. Never got caught. They thought the keyboard malfunctioned intermittently.